Join 3,438 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


The Beautiful Moments in the Beautiful Game (Game Day Edition)
July 8, 2014 7:58 AM   Subscribe

The World Cup is hardly an unmitigated joy - bone crushing injuries, protests in Brazil, FIFA being FIFA, backshoulder biting. But lets forget all that and embrace the feel good moments of World Cup 2014. Friends helping a deaf and blind fan experience the World Cup. The victors comforting a heartbroken opponent. A player stopping to tie the shoe of his child escort. The Greek team returning their bonuses to build a new training center. The Brazilian team being generally awesome with starstruck fans.

Feeling all warm and fuzzy inside? Just happy this thing is nearly over? You may now commence your semi-finals game day commentary.
posted by 26.2 (1306 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
The Klinsmann effect: for USA fans, Germany's compromises feel familiar
posted by shothotbot at 8:08 AM on July 8


A player stopping to tie the shoe of his child escort.

There's got to be a better way of saying that.
posted by 2bucksplus at 8:10 AM on July 8 [8 favorites]


Where's the HAIR?
posted by infini at 8:18 AM on July 8


There's got to be a better way of saying that.

Mascots.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:23 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


(although I tend to call them "hostages.")
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:24 AM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Muito obrigado, 26.2! It's a beautiful day for Germany to get whomped!
posted by languagehat at 8:29 AM on July 8 [4 favorites]


OK I'm in Rio right, living in Zona Sul but not on the beaches.
Its Futebal for fucks sake we all love futebal.
What we don't love is thé fact that for so many people their lives are shit and the billions spent on this wankfest could have been used to make them better.
250,000 people have been forceably displaced
Money is being stolen left right and centre.
Half the promised infrastructure hasn't arrived.
Unneeded stadiums will cost $250,000 a month upkeep, who pays?
Just for once the people would like the media to tell the truth not just abroad but here as well.
Dont get me wrong I and the people here love the football, the excitement , the party but at what price?
Open sewage still runs through favelas, kids dont get to school, public hospitals run out of everything including space; crime is rampant, corruption is endemic and the The FIFA circus pisses on everyone who isn't white and rich.
There are people starving in the North East. Many of my friends here sadly want Brazil to loose today otherwise the euforia will elide with the government lies and misinformation and the same rotten system will roll on.
But yay Futebal.
posted by adamvasco at 8:31 AM on July 8 [22 favorites]


not to mention all the boring soccer in between.

I have to say, some of us who have been baseball fans all our lives are finding the pace of this "futbol" game that the young folks are all talking about to be surprisingly brisk!
posted by aught at 8:39 AM on July 8 [8 favorites]


I have to say, some of us who have been baseball fans all our lives are finding the pace of this "futbol" game that the young folks are all talking about to be surprisingly brisk!

Baseball cultivates boredom. It's like the whole point of the sport, which is why it's great. Soccer tries to rise above boredom and mostly fails, which makes it mediocre. Mediocrity, as it happens, is a pretty good result and definitely puts soccer above the concussion-centric sports like American football and hockey.
posted by mullacc at 8:54 AM on July 8


Feeling all warm and fuzzy inside?

I will once the overrated, cheating, whinging Brazilians are sent home by Germany, more so once we sent Argentina home so the Dutch - German dream final can happen. Then, once it ends 2-1 with Muller scoring once but Robben twice to make up for his miss in 2010, the streets of Amsterdam will throb with millions of cloggies in orange waiting to crown our new king, Louis the First.

Also good fun to see England, Spain Portugual and Italy go out in the first round.
posted by MartinWisse at 9:01 AM on July 8 [8 favorites]


IM GONNA MISS THE GAME IM SO FUCKING UPSET ARGH

I will console myself by repeatedly watching the gifs of everyone cuddling a sobbing James Rodriguez
posted by elizardbits at 9:06 AM on July 8 [4 favorites]


no sry arjen robben must perish
posted by elizardbits at 9:06 AM on July 8 [10 favorites]


I will console myself by repeatedly watching the gifs of everyone cuddling a sobbing James Rodriguez

Wait, are people already hating on this kid? Why?!
posted by wensink at 9:17 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Then, once it ends 2-1 with Muller scoring once but Robben twice to make up for his miss in 2010, the streets of Amsterdam will throb with millions of cloggies in orange waiting to crown our new king, Louis the First.


And demanding the return of their grandparents' bicycles.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:19 AM on July 8 [5 favorites]


uh what

i don't hate him, i want to see him being cuddled by people when he is sad

wtf
posted by elizardbits at 9:19 AM on July 8 [5 favorites]


So due to travel schedules, the first Brazil game I got to watch was this past weekend's game against Colombia. If you, like me, haven't seen Brazil recently and are thinking of the wonderful, jogo bonito, dashing, samba-dancing* sides of legend, then you are in for a rude awakening. Brazil are playing the ugliest, most thuggish, most dive-happy football of the tournament - of the final four teams, they even outstrip the kung fu fightin' Dutch with 96 fouls; not only the most of the tournament, but the most per game, 19.2. (The Dutch are fourth most at 18.2, Argentina and Germany are 2nd and 3rd least at 10.2 and 11.4 respectively. The average is 15.0.) And that's not taking into account the deference that the hosts seem to have received from the refs.

* To be fair, the samba ban is the fault of FIFA and the vuvuzela and let's be honest, the only decent way to apportion blame to those two is to assign 200% to each.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:20 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Looking forward to today's match, but really hope we get a decent ref!
posted by travelwithcats at 9:22 AM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Wensink, if I may presume to speak for elizardbits - I suspect she, like me, watches the James Rodriguez gif for the vicarious cuddles.
posted by Atrahasis at 9:23 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


@elizardbits My apologies. I read that as snark. (Likely due to having just been on Deadspin and Gawker.)
posted by wensink at 9:23 AM on July 8


Looking forward to today's match, but really hope we get a decent ref!

Eh. Dracula Marco Antonio Rodriguez. Better than some, anyways. (It's not Howard Webb!)

(Better link.)
posted by inigo2 at 9:27 AM on July 8


I was in tears watching David Luiz and Dani Alves comforting James Rodríguez.

Poor James - his early games were so good. I think he really thought this was Colombia's magical year. He was just crushed.
posted by 26.2 at 9:40 AM on July 8 [5 favorites]


Neymar and the kid on the field was awesome. That might be a life changing event for the boy. I hope his broken back heals without incident, and he's back in the game soon.
posted by bashos_frog at 9:54 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


The slash just writes itself (um not in the child escort one though).
posted by allthinky at 9:54 AM on July 8


Você jogou bem, cara. VOCÊ É O CARA, CARA!
posted by TheTingTangTong at 10:18 AM on July 8


Why, oh why, is it 4 years in between World Cups?!?

With Neymar out, Brazil has the excuse they need to lose and avoid a national tragedy and public lynchings. I'd love to see Messi and Argentina get it. Their fans may be crass, but their game play is clean. Messi is an easy hero to like, not a pretty boy like Ronaldo or Beckham, not a flopper or a thug.
posted by karst at 10:23 AM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Is it wrong for me to hope both teams lose today? Argentina is really the only team I'm interested in seeing play this weekend. Although I guess they'll need an opponent.
posted by ardgedee at 10:35 AM on July 8


I'll be missing both the 3rd place play-off AND the final due to working at the other side of country. WAH.
posted by kariebookish at 10:36 AM on July 8


Messi is so likable, they even made a movie about him. Sad moments about his childhood with his grandma and his impaired growth as a kid and all.
posted by travelwithcats at 10:37 AM on July 8


The 3rd place play-off is the stupidest fucking thing ever. Who cares? Neither of the teams, none of the fans. I once decided to drive an hour and a half to Arbroath to watch a pre-season friendly, because I was bored, but I've never been bored enough to watch more than 5 minutes of a 3rd place play off. Utterly pointless game.
posted by IanMorr at 10:51 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Utterly pointless game.

But occasionally entertaining, in a "nobody cares so let's try stuff" sorta way. Notably, via wikipedia:
The third place match is generally a high-scoring affair, as no men's match has seen fewer than three goals scored since Poland's 1-0 win over Brazil in 1974, while all bronze-medal games since 1994 (except for 1998) have seen four goals or more.
posted by inigo2 at 10:56 AM on July 8


Not quite, the squad placing 3rd wins US$22 million. Which is US$2 million more than 4th place and US$3 million less than the runner-up gets.
posted by travelwithcats at 10:58 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I was in tears watching David Luiz and Dani Alves comforting James Rodríguez

"Sorry we've just spent the whole match kicking the shit out of you."
posted by reynir at 11:13 AM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Yeah, but that money goes to the home FA. If the players of these 4 teams negotiated extra bonus money for finishing 3rd I'd be surprised. Maybe if they offered me $2 million I'd watch it. Hell, I'd even eat a McDonald's while drinking Budweiser.
posted by IanMorr at 11:15 AM on July 8


reynir - They were just trying to knock that giant bug off him.
posted by 26.2 at 11:17 AM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Russian priest claims coloured football boots are ‘homosexual abomination’ "Wearing pink or blue shoes, [the squad] might as well wear women’s knickers or a bra.”
posted by wensink at 11:20 AM on July 8


[the squad] might as well wear women’s knickers or a bra

Or a flowing black gown, even.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:23 AM on July 8 [10 favorites]


Oh, god, not a bra. Anything but a bra. Heaven forfend.
posted by lauranesson at 11:23 AM on July 8


Curious how that's gonna go over in 2018. Gah, I'm really disliking the locations for WC18 and WC22.
posted by travelwithcats at 11:28 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Who knew? Scantily-clad Dutch win Lingerie World Cup [via The Toronto Sun, natch.]
posted by wensink at 11:31 AM on July 8


The 3rd place play-off is the stupidest fucking thing ever. Who cares? Neither of the teams, none of the fans.

I was in Cologne in 2006 when Germany beat Portugal. The entire nation seemed pretty euphoric, though with Germans it can be hard to tell.
posted by malocchio at 11:38 AM on July 8


Robben *may* score if he stops falling over invisible things.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:47 AM on July 8 [3 favorites]


[the squad] might as well wear women’s knickers or a bra

I would give good money to see the players combat that homophobic slur by marching onto the field wearing specially designed rainbow colored cleats. Also, lifting up their shirts after every goal and flashing the crowd with the women's sport bras they have on underneath. Ideally with the Russian priest's name printed ostentatiously across the chest.

But then I am petty.
posted by misha at 11:50 AM on July 8 [6 favorites]


Who knew? Scantily-clad Dutch win Lingerie World Cup [via The Toronto Sun, natch.]

Props for including shin guards with the uniform at least.
posted by misha at 11:52 AM on July 8


So do the Brazilian players get to just put whatever they choose as their names on their jerseys or is there some sort of rule I am not getting?
posted by shothotbot at 11:56 AM on July 8


Robben *may* score if he stops falling over invisible things.

I like imagining him in his everyday life being abnormally startled by things he thinks he sees out of the corner of his eye and sprawling face first on the ground at least 20-30 times per day.
posted by elizardbits at 11:58 AM on July 8 [13 favorites]


also tbh i like to imagine him being menaced by a swarm of bees while yakety sax plays
posted by elizardbits at 11:59 AM on July 8 [2 favorites]


When Robben retires he can have a fine career as a movie stuntman, always going down as if he's just taken a phaser beam to the chest, or something.
posted by TwoStride at 12:00 PM on July 8


I think Robben is an advanced materials science experiment. He weighs next to nothing and if you so much as look at him it causes him to tumble and do a double flip.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:04 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


wait so neymar's not playing after all? huh
posted by elizardbits at 12:07 PM on July 8


Klose is in, I think that is controversial?

From the guardian's MBM
Brazil v Germany - line-ups ...

Brazil: 12-Julio Cesar; 6-Marcelo, 23-Maicon, 13-Dante, 4-David Luiz; 17-Luiz Gustavo, 5-Fernandinho, 20-Bernard, 11-Oscar, 7-Hulk; 9-Fred

Germany: 1-Manuel Neuer; 16-Philipp Lahm; 20-Jerome Boateng; 5-Mats Hummels; 4-Benedikt Hoewedes; 7-Bastian Schweinsteiger; 6-Sami Khedira; 18-Toni Kroos; 8-Mesut Ozil; 13-Thomas Mueller, 11-Miroslav Klose

Referee: Marco Rodriguez (Mexico)

posted by shothotbot at 12:08 PM on July 8


So do the Brazilian players get to just put whatever they choose as their names on their jerseys or is there some sort of rule I am not getting?

I ponder that myself. David Luiz had his first names on his Chelsea jersey too. Memphis Depay of the Netherlands has Memphis on his jersey. Hulk isn't even his name - it's his nickname.

Look kid, we'll call you whatever you want as long as you score.
posted by 26.2 at 12:10 PM on July 8


Bernard is in, that's a bit of a surprise I think for Brazil. Many had predicted Willian.
posted by cell divide at 12:10 PM on July 8


WAIT KICKOFF IS AT 4 I THOUGHT IT WAS AT 3 WHAT IS GOING ON IM CONFUSE
posted by elizardbits at 12:10 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


fucking time zones i s2g really hdu
posted by elizardbits at 12:10 PM on July 8


i s2g really hdu

Well, there is no arguing with that kind of logic.
posted by shothotbot at 12:12 PM on July 8 [7 favorites]


All games have been at 4 but the pregame stuff starts before.

Klose isn't controversial, but he probably can't last an entire game so Germany is obviously hoping to score early and then take him out (assuming Brazil doesn't take him out for them, the thugs).
posted by TwoStride at 12:14 PM on July 8


I think Willian is injured from practice or something.

I'm actually kinda surprised that Scolari didn't decide to go with a 3-5-2 vs Germany as a way to slow down the German midfield and give marcelo and alves more freedom to go forward.
posted by vuron at 12:14 PM on July 8


Bringing Klose in is good. We need a true finisher to draw defenders. He won't be able to last the full game though./
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:15 PM on July 8


He just has to move, Klose, move his body real Klose, until.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:20 PM on July 8


Arjen Robben is a machine. He might, in the past, have been a highly calibrated unit with a tendency to occasionally malfunction at the worst possible moment. But put aside, if you can, the debate over his theatrics against Mexico in the second round and – before his personal semi-final duel with Lionel Messi – he has a strong claim to be the player of the tournament so far.

At this World Cup he has resembled nothing so much as the T-1000, the robotic bad guy in the second of Terminator films. After every tumble, twist and fall he has got back up again and resumed his fast, direct running at the defence – head up, ball at his feet and panic in the eyes of his prey.
Your tears will be delicious to me when Robben seals the victory against Messi and the Argentines.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:23 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


I think Robben is an advanced materials science experiment.

Or Manuel Neuer's right arm.
posted by wensink at 12:28 PM on July 8


> assuming Brazil doesn't take him out for them, the thugs

So speaking of thugs, I have a question that's been bothering me for a long time, and maybe this is a good time to ask it while we're all waiting for kickoff. I know disliking flopping/diving makes me a typical Anglo-American, and the rest of the world laughs at us for our prissiness, and I'm OK with that—different strokes, it would be a dull world if we all thought alike, etc. But I'm curious as to why people who think it's OK think it's OK, and how far does that win-at-all-costs mentality go? Here's a quote from Jonathan Wilson's wonderful Inverting The Pyramid: The History of Soccer Tactics, which I'm in the middle of (and many thanks to the MeFites who recommended it in an earlier thread); he's describing the brutal football of Argentina in the '60s, in particular Estudiantes, the poster boy for this kind of thing:
It is difficult now to separate fact from fiction, but the story has grown up that Bilardo [of late-'60s Estudiantes] would carry pins with him on the field to jab into opponents. “A myth,” Verón said, but Rattín insisted it was true, although he admitted he had not seen it himself. Bilardo seemed to admit it was true in an advertising campaign in 2011. “Bilardo was sneaky,” Rattín said. “He was always up to something. Tricky: he'd pull your shirt, pretend to be hit, anything.” ... The United midfielder Paddy Crerand called Estudiantes “the dirtiest team I've played against”... [El Gráfico said] “Estudiantes go out to destroy, to dirty, to irritate, to deny the show, to use all the illegal subterfuges in football ... If it is good to win, it must be good.”
Now, to me, all that stuff goes together: pretending to be hit (aka diving, as opposed to acting as if a tackle was worse than it really was, which is just gamesmanship) is part of a continuum that includes sticking pins in people or breaking their vertebrae. I presume defenders of diving disagree, but where do you draw the line? When does going all out to win become unacceptable?
posted by languagehat at 12:28 PM on July 8


Am I the only one who doesn't think that Robben complete pile of dung? When you run faster than everyone and you're dangerous in front of the net, the defence will resort to fouling you as much as they can get away with. He has to sell the fouls to get calls from the ref just to nip things in the bud.
posted by beau jackson at 12:31 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


I always think of Maturin's shock and disgust that Jack Aubrey would hoist a false flag when encountering an unknown ship in the Patrick O'Brian books. An acceptable ruse de guerre. It seems like The Line is hard to discern to someone who hasn't grown up with it.
posted by shothotbot at 12:36 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


languagehat, I have been thinking about Inverting The Pyramid. I have never played soccer and only watch the big adjournments, is it pretty accessible to the newbie?
posted by shothotbot at 12:39 PM on July 8


Am I the only one who doesn't think that Robben complete pile of dung?

I think it's like, we can forgive bad players who cheat a little to even things up, but we have a hard time forgiving the best guy on the field for diving all the time. At least that's what bugs me about Robben.

I want to like him, I mean I love the Netherlands: when I see Patrick Kluivert and his studious notebook (what is he writing? I want to take a look at his notes!) and Mr. Serious Danny Blind flanking Van Gaal with his Kim Jong Il haircut, I mean, what's not to love? And out on the field, Van Persie, Sneijder, they're like a slightly greying boy band!

And here comes wizened old Captain Picard, racing down the field to make a meal of an innocent defender, dragging his feet, arching his back, and rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling like the pitch was a hill and he was a log. Fucken Robben.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 12:42 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


> WAIT KICKOFF IS AT 4 I THOUGHT IT WAS AT 3 WHAT IS GOING ON IM CONFUSE

US coverage includes a solid hour of pregame coverage. It's barely enough time! 3 minutes about how beautiful Brazil and its people are, a couple minutes for the previous two weeks of tournament, and 55 minutes of commercials.
posted by ardgedee at 12:42 PM on July 8


Does anyone else always giggle at the huge drop-off in height when they do the anthems and the camera pans from Neuer (6'4"+) and Lahm (doubtful he's actually 5'7")?
posted by TwoStride at 12:43 PM on July 8


Muito obrigado, 26.2! It's a beautiful day for Germany to get whomped!

Lh, I love you but the panzers will put a stop to this awful Brazil.
posted by ersatz at 12:45 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Here's something I've been wondering as I watch the WC games in an uninformed way. When the teams are on offense, are the attacks more like chess, where there is a specific planned sequence of moves that they are trying to accomplish? Or is it more like improv comedy, where you don't really preplan what's going to happen, but you have to be open to what your teammates do and build on it?
posted by yarrow at 12:45 PM on July 8


> languagehat, I have been thinking about Inverting The Pyramid. I have never played soccer and only watch the big adjournments, is it pretty accessible to the newbie?

Yes! I was a little nervous about it, thinking it would be full of technical detail, sort of like a math textbook, but it's not like that at all—it's full of stories and biographies and explains everything clearly. I highly recommend it.
posted by languagehat at 12:46 PM on July 8


Am I the only one who doesn't think that Robben complete pile of dung?

I'm with you, Beau. It was fascinating to watch the first half of Netherlands/Costa Rica (the first game after Robben's admission about diving in the Mexico game). Twice in the first 45 minutes, he pointedly played through tackles in the box to control the ball and make a play. By the second half, he was back to selling calls to the ref.
posted by wensink at 12:46 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Hey, everybody!

I'm going to miss the middle -- have to get on the sad bus to home. Watching the start.
posted by eriko at 12:50 PM on July 8


Well, talk about a game where you don't want either side to win. I can't root for Germany for obvious reasons (they are Germany) and as for Brazil, jesus what an awful and dirty side. On the BBC there is a Phil McNulty article and the top comment is: "Referinio to save Brazil" lol.

Re: Inerting the Pyramid - it is very good and accessible. He explains the positions as they originally were and what they became (centre-half for e.g.) and positions that are no longer (three-quarter-back) and then develops it from there. It helps a bit if you know a bit about formations, but there are wikipedia articles on football positions and shirt numbering.

(On Preview - I was just about to ask if the Lady Of Japanese Descent was here!)
posted by marienbad at 12:53 PM on July 8


For the record, where I was today (HS and EC,) Germany shirts far outnumbered Brazil shirts. This was surprising given the number of Brazilian tour groups around WDW now.

The Germans are looking very German.
posted by eriko at 12:53 PM on July 8


yarrow: probably a bit of both. They would have practiced certain moves repeatedly, so they'd start a move and hope that their teammates would be on the same wavelength. Watch and sometimes you'll see a ball played into space, with no-one nearby - that's a player hoping that his teammate will guess what he's going to do, and run into that space. You'll also notice different tactics, whether teams hit long passes to the wings and try to get the ball into the centre quickly, or build up slowly using short passes, for example. All carefully pre-planned.
posted by Pink Frost at 12:54 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Nice to have you here, eriko!
posted by languagehat at 12:54 PM on July 8


Oh so sweet, the brazilians are holding Neymar's shirt
posted by marienbad at 12:56 PM on July 8


Brazil's anthem sounds like incidental music from The Great Escape.
posted by wensink at 12:56 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Go on Deutschland, you need to win this for the dream final.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:57 PM on July 8


It sounds like the music from a fairground carousel.
posted by marienbad at 12:58 PM on July 8


Oh No, A Dutch Germany fan!
posted by marienbad at 12:58 PM on July 8


LH: When does going all out to win become unacceptable?

For me, breaking the rules is acceptable but deception isn't, if that makes sense. So a clean foul to disrupt an attack is OK, if you then accept the punishment. It's all part of the game. It's within the rules. Deception is trying to go outside the rules, so not acceptable. Deliberate violence obviously unacceptable.

Incidentally, the English attitude to diving is somewhat confused - many English commentators blame foreigners for diving in the Premier League, and ignore repeat offenders like Rooney or Gerrard because they're English.
posted by Pink Frost at 12:59 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> Go on Deutschland, you need to win this for the dream final.

No no, the dream final is ARG-BRA. That's the only reason I'm rooting for an unlikeable Brazil side today.
posted by languagehat at 12:59 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Oh, yeah, I forgot about this subplot: if Klose gets a goal, he'll become the overall top scorer in the World Cup, usurping the place previously held by the Brazilian Ronaldo. That'll be a point of pride for both sides, whatever else happens.
posted by Errant at 1:00 PM on July 8


Oh No, A Dutch Germany fan!

Yeah, come on Martin, shouldn't you be chanting 'give us back our bicycles' or something?
posted by Pink Frost at 1:00 PM on July 8


Thanks, Pink Frost, that's very interesting and enlightening.
posted by languagehat at 1:01 PM on July 8


Marienbad: root for the meteor.

In other news, Mark Gieger got himself a 4th official slot in this semifinal. Good, he earned that and more -- and this is me heaping praise. On a MLS ref.
posted by eriko at 1:01 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


The Germans are a strong team, who AFAIK rarely dive and don't seem to be huge foulers, either. I am routing for them to win the Cup.

Plus, Germany is a lovely country with beautiful alpine scenery, you big meanies.
posted by misha at 1:03 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


America(n) makes the semis!
posted by wensink at 1:04 PM on July 8


Brazil seem quite keen!
posted by shothotbot at 1:05 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I am with Languagehat, I want Brazil to win so Argentina can take them in the final.
posted by marienbad at 1:05 PM on July 8


It is really mostly the English and their colonial cousins who have a true hate on for Robben, perhaps because English footballers are true butchers, hacking and fouling with lustful abandon and not much technical skill and expecting everybody else to embrace it with the same jolly spirit.

Somebody like Robben, technically gifted to a degree that shames the best English players, but who has reason to fear fouling due to his injury proneness, is the complete antithesis of English football because he does go down when he feels he needs to, rather than play through the attempts to foul him.

Messi of course has that uncanny gift of mostly not being there were a defender tries to foul him, so doesn't need to dive, so the English love him.

It doesn't help that Robben always looks so ungainly on the ball, arms flapping everywhere.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:05 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Yeah, come on Martin, shouldn't you be chanting 'give us back our bicycles' or something?

Naah, it's only the English who need to keep using WWII to keep football rivalry alive; since '88 we don't need to anymore...

Germany is beatable.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:07 PM on July 8


MartinWisse wins most ironic comment of the day ;)

Both teams look lively.
posted by marienbad at 1:07 PM on July 8


Naah, it's only the English who need to keep using WWII to keep football rivalry alive

That's because we didn't get invaded and beat them.

germans look good on the attack
posted by marienbad at 1:09 PM on July 8


So is Geiger ref in the Argentina vs Netherlands game?
posted by misha at 1:09 PM on July 8


control Hulk dude, and marcelo
posted by marienbad at 1:10 PM on July 8


WoW!
posted by misha at 1:10 PM on July 8


GOAAAAL.

It's MULLER TIME.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:10 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Hi, did I miss anything ? Oh, a german goal ? Nice...
posted by Pendragon at 1:10 PM on July 8


fuck off, fucking germans. damn.
posted by marienbad at 1:10 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Holy crap!
posted by languagehat at 1:11 PM on July 8


Goal!
posted by travelwithcats at 1:11 PM on July 8


Martin: Messi of course has that uncanny gift of mostly not being there were a defender tries to foul him, so doesn't need to dive, so the English love him.

One might add that Messi's Barcelona teammates have no trouble diving...like so much of his game, he outsources diving to Iniesta ;)

On your other point, interesting, I was under the impression that Netherlands fans still sang that chant. My fault for only being able to read the English press I guess...
posted by Pink Frost at 1:11 PM on July 8


Aaaaand it's over >:)
posted by brokkr at 1:12 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


> germans look good on the attack

I was just about to agree with that when they proved it beyond doubt.
posted by languagehat at 1:12 PM on July 8


What a gift.
posted by Errant at 1:12 PM on July 8


And I missed it because I was typing a comment about how much I like German football as it has developed in the last two decades. Much less arrogant, much more elegant, a large influx of exciting new players of non-traditional German backgrounds, what's not to like?
posted by MartinWisse at 1:13 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Hello Brazil, let me introduce you to Thomas Muller. He scored a hat-trick against Portugal 3 weeks ago. You might want to mark him in the box.
posted by IanMorr at 1:13 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Useless by Hulk!
posted by marienbad at 1:13 PM on July 8


An elbow for Klose and a push for Müller. Brazil as we know them.
posted by brokkr at 1:15 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Ha. You could also introduce Muller as the Golden Boot winner of World Cup 2010. And well on pace for this edition, as well.
posted by Errant at 1:15 PM on July 8


Have Brazil had a shot on target yet?
posted by marienbad at 1:15 PM on July 8


Univision no longer allows free streaming?!? How am I supposed to watch from work now? This is unacceptable! Anyone have alternative streaming suggestions?
posted by Arbac at 1:15 PM on July 8


I'm entertained so far. First time I've been able to say this about Brazil this tournament. Go, go, go Deutschland, though.
posted by kariebookish at 1:16 PM on July 8


> Have Brazil had a shot on target yet?

Yeah, Marcelo had a shot early on. Not a great one.
posted by languagehat at 1:16 PM on July 8


Arbac - atdhe.sx
posted by marienbad at 1:16 PM on July 8


Uh-oh....
posted by languagehat at 1:17 PM on July 8


Good tackle, be quiet.
posted by misha at 1:17 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


IF you got Firefox, try the BBC's iplayer with the Media Hint extension to get around the region check.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:17 PM on July 8


How was that not a penalty ;)
posted by marienbad at 1:17 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


c'mon dudes, it's too early in the game for this kind of rhubarb.
posted by ardgedee at 1:17 PM on July 8


Totally fair tackle by Lahm. Brazil already trying for the victim narrative that nothing will be called?
posted by TwoStride at 1:18 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Great tackle, Boateng needs to calm down.
posted by Pink Frost at 1:18 PM on July 8


Almost panic stations for Brazil.
posted by marienbad at 1:21 PM on July 8


Record score!
posted by misha at 1:22 PM on July 8


Yes, germany on a roll!!!
posted by Pendragon at 1:22 PM on July 8


GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

That was Klose.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:22 PM on July 8


I have to say, at this point Germany is impressing me a lot more than Brazil. If they win, it will be deserved. (With, of course, an asterisk for Neymar's absence).
posted by languagehat at 1:22 PM on July 8


No almost about it!
posted by Pink Frost at 1:22 PM on July 8


This is a proper stomping.
posted by ardgedee at 1:22 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Has Fred touched the ball yet? is he still on the park?

Oh god, its going to be a thrashing. Well done Klose
posted by marienbad at 1:22 PM on July 8


And while I was typing that, they did it again!
posted by languagehat at 1:23 PM on July 8


Every time marienbad starts admiring the Germans, they score.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:23 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
posted by joedan at 1:23 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


KLOSE!!!!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 1:23 PM on July 8


Haven't they got anybody better than Hulk? Seriously.
posted by marienbad at 1:23 PM on July 8


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH KLOSE I am beside myself!!

So happy for him.
posted by TwoStride at 1:23 PM on July 8


3rd Goal!
posted by travelwithcats at 1:24 PM on July 8


Jesus Christ!
posted by Dumsnill at 1:24 PM on July 8


THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
posted by MartinWisse at 1:24 PM on July 8


wtf
posted by MartinWisse at 1:24 PM on July 8


You've got to be kidding me. Another one???
posted by languagehat at 1:24 PM on July 8


In the ultra slow-mo replay of goal 2, it's clear that the back of Cesar's glove gives the ball a shove through the line. OWN GOAL!
posted by ardgedee at 1:24 PM on July 8


OMG this is a slaughter.
posted by misha at 1:24 PM on July 8


HOLY SHIT!
posted by TwoStride at 1:24 PM on July 8


Oh god this is unbelieveable!
posted by marienbad at 1:24 PM on July 8


The rout is on (I hope).
posted by TwoStride at 1:24 PM on July 8


So So easy
posted by marienbad at 1:24 PM on July 8


HOPPA!!!!
posted by Pendragon at 1:24 PM on July 8


You have got to be kidding me
posted by joedan at 1:25 PM on July 8


This is crazy!
posted by Arbac at 1:25 PM on July 8


Brazil missing Thiago Silva more than Neymer?

And before I finish typing that, it's 3-0. Unbelievable. I could have seen Germany getting one and then controlling the game for 1-0, but I'd never have guessed this...
posted by Pink Frost at 1:25 PM on July 8


O MY GOD!!!!
posted by Pendragon at 1:25 PM on July 8


4th goal!!!!
posted by travelwithcats at 1:25 PM on July 8


Wha
posted by Dumsnill at 1:25 PM on July 8


Aww...Oscar looks so sad.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:25 PM on July 8


4-0!!!!
posted by MartinWisse at 1:25 PM on July 8


OK, this is getting ridiculous.
posted by languagehat at 1:25 PM on July 8


Bloody hell!
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:25 PM on July 8


Oh my god am i really watching this?
posted by marienbad at 1:25 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


This is what we call a beatdown.
posted by eriko at 1:25 PM on July 8


Um, maybe I get some work done today after all
posted by shothotbot at 1:25 PM on July 8


c'mon, guys. Give Brazil a pity goal.
posted by ardgedee at 1:26 PM on July 8


OK. 4-0.

Did someone spike my breakfast cereal with hallucinogens?
posted by Pink Frost at 1:26 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Is there a mercy rule?
posted by languagehat at 1:26 PM on July 8


5 has been this Cup's standard
posted by infini at 1:26 PM on July 8


Oh no, the crying kid. I can't take it.
Also go Germany!!!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 1:26 PM on July 8


wut?
posted by shothotbot at 1:26 PM on July 8


Oh god I hope there aren't any riots after this
posted by joedan at 1:26 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Holy shit!
posted by IanMorr at 1:26 PM on July 8


Univision: "Es increible lo que estamos viendo hoy."
posted by languagehat at 1:27 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


The camera closeups on the Brazil fans in the stands is fucking gut wrenching. I think I'd rather watch a vox pop filmed outside a funeral home.
posted by ardgedee at 1:27 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Brazil to win 6-5 haha
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Holy shit. You can stop trying now, Germany, at least in this half.
posted by yasaman at 1:27 PM on July 8


Wa wa wa? Wa?
posted by From Bklyn at 1:27 PM on July 8


The meltdown/comeback would be epic.
posted by wensink at 1:27 PM on July 8


Truly beautiful moments!
posted by travelwithcats at 1:27 PM on July 8


I don't think there may be any stadiums left after this.
posted by lizarrd at 1:27 PM on July 8


So Germany starting Klose pays off big fucking time.
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on July 8


Hi! I was just wondering if you could direct me to the way to the world's most embarrassing football matc-- oh, no it's OK I can see it now. Thanks.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:27 PM on July 8 [16 favorites]


Well, there's one question answered: How much Brazil needed Neymar.
posted by ardgedee at 1:28 PM on July 8


BBC: 4 goals in 15 minutes!
posted by marienbad at 1:28 PM on July 8


Oh man if this were basketball the coach would be calling timeout.
posted by needled at 1:28 PM on July 8


What a rout! And yeah - hope there aren't riots because this is a disaster for Brazil.
posted by leslies at 1:28 PM on July 8


5-0!
posted by MartinWisse at 1:29 PM on July 8


5th goal!
posted by travelwithcats at 1:29 PM on July 8


Um, maybe I get some work done today after all

Hmm, I'd carefully negotiated to go in to work an hour late, or two hours if i goes to overtime. I guess I don't have to bother with that huh?

5-0!
posted by Pink Frost at 1:29 PM on July 8


FIVE!!!!
posted by leslies at 1:29 PM on July 8


Nice try, Hulk.
posted by joedan at 1:29 PM on July 8


This is history in the making, crazy crazy history.
posted by Dumsnill at 1:29 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.... DE ALEMANIA!!!!!!
posted by languagehat at 1:29 PM on July 8


Oh baby, baby, baby! Watching the final in Germany will be a treat!
posted by ersatz at 1:29 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Four goals in six minutes.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:29 PM on July 8


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
posted by joedan at 1:29 PM on July 8


again luiz with the long ball and possession straight back to the germans and you cant type a fucking comment without the Germans scoring now
posted by marienbad at 1:30 PM on July 8


Everyone gets a goal!
posted by From Bklyn at 1:30 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


And 3 of the German goals happened at the 23', 24', and 26' minute marks. That's insane.
And that 5th goal at the 29' minute mark. Insanity.
posted by needled at 1:30 PM on July 8


Son says 8-0 at half is slaughter rule. Is that true?
posted by misha at 1:30 PM on July 8


German supporters: "No World Wars and Three World Cups, doo-dah, doo-dah."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:30 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Well, this will replace the Maracanazo of 1950 as the national trauma.
posted by languagehat at 1:30 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


OK, so what's the precedent for this? A semifinal with 5-0 after half an hour?
posted by dhoe at 1:31 PM on July 8


misha: "Son says 8-0 at half is slaughter rule. Is that true?"
Not in pro football. Germany never stops.
posted by brokkr at 1:31 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I kind of hope that Germany will just park the bus and make sure that no one gets injured.
posted by TwoStride at 1:31 PM on July 8


My Globo connection crapped out after the 5th goal. I guess time to switch to BBC.
posted by needled at 1:31 PM on July 8


I am at work and can't watch, but it sounds as though I will find the match...pleasing.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:32 PM on July 8


No mercy rule in professional soccer unlike hs.
posted by leslies at 1:32 PM on July 8


Going to look like an American Football score.
posted by shothotbot at 1:32 PM on July 8


misha: no slaughter rule in soccer.

OK guys: greatest upsets / routs of all time?

USA 1 England 0 (1950)
Algeria 2 West Germany 1 (1982)

How does this compare?
posted by Pink Frost at 1:32 PM on July 8


I feel we have ceased watching football and we are now watching a national disaster. The UN Security Council are probably drafting a resolution to stop this match on humanitarian grounds.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:32 PM on July 8 [7 favorites]


There is no precedent for this. This doesn't happen in World Cup semifinals. Ever.
posted by Errant at 1:32 PM on July 8


This is just... Wow. Literally unbelievable. I've watched every World Cup since the 80:s, and I can't remember ever seeing anything like this past the group stage. I feel bad for the Brazilian fans, can't even imagine...
posted by gemmy at 1:34 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


So, MartinWisse, still feeling confident for the final after this Germany performance?
posted by marienbad at 1:34 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> OK guys: greatest upsets / routs of all time? How does this compare?

Steamroller vs. Bunnies.
posted by ardgedee at 1:34 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


So I think the lesson is that US > Brazil?
posted by shothotbot at 1:34 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


what's the "jaw dropping" emoticon?
posted by desjardins at 1:34 PM on July 8


This is what teams do to the crappy Asian team that made it out of their confederation. This doesn't happen at this level, and it certainly doesn't happen to Brazil, in Brazil. They haven't lost a competitive game in Brazil since 1975. Think about that.
posted by Errant at 1:34 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Julio Cesar has turned into Marco Aurelio.
posted by languagehat at 1:34 PM on July 8 [11 favorites]


Don't get sloppy now, Germany.

TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN !!!
posted by Pendragon at 1:34 PM on July 8


How does this compare?

One more German goal and it equals Brazil's worst defeat, against Uruguay more than half a century ago.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:35 PM on July 8


The national psyche of Brazil is going to be somewhat... unhinged after this. I'm genuinely kind of scared for the Brazil players.
posted by that's candlepin at 1:36 PM on July 8


Why doesn't Brazil put a sub in? Too late?
posted by shothotbot at 1:36 PM on July 8


Guardian: "Germany have just carved open Brazil, whose defence has gone so far beyond shambolic slapstick that you feel they might have been better served fielding four of their mascots instead of Messrs Maicon, Luiz, Dante and Marcelo."
posted by languagehat at 1:36 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


England 3 Hungary 6 (1951) maybe? (England had never lost at home).
posted by Pink Frost at 1:36 PM on July 8


Brazil's fans right now
posted by joedan at 1:36 PM on July 8


> what's the "jaw dropping" emoticon?

Pick one:
😥 😰 😩 😫 😨 😱 😲 💩
posted by ardgedee at 1:36 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


The incredible thing is not just that Germany have scored 5 times, but that Germany look like they are going to score every time they go forward.
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:36 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


So, MartinWisse, still feeling confident for the final after this Germany performance?

Oh yeah. Full trust in King Louis.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:36 PM on July 8


Zer is no mercy in fussball.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 1:36 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Largest margin of victory in World Cup play is nine goals. If Germany keeps up the pace, they'll have scored 15 by the end of full-time play.
posted by evoque at 1:36 PM on July 8


I take it all back. Saturday's 3rd place playoff is going to be fucking comedy gold.
posted by IanMorr at 1:37 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> Why doesn't Brazil put a sub in? Too late?

Too early, if anything.
posted by ardgedee at 1:37 PM on July 8


I wonder if perhaps Brazil is throwing the game in protest?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:37 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


If I were Dilma Rousseff I would start looking for another job.
posted by shothotbot at 1:37 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Who would they sub in? They put out their best available players, at least defensively. You'd think they were bricklayers and bartenders. This is unbelievable.
posted by Errant at 1:38 PM on July 8


Basically every single person in my office is just watching this game and not even trying to hide it.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:38 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Saturday's 3rd place playoff is going to be fucking comedy gold.

If it's Brazil / Argentina, Brazil could be playing with an edge.
posted by shothotbot at 1:39 PM on July 8


Germany is being a very rude guest.
posted by 26.2 at 1:39 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


Largest margin of victory in World Cup play is nine goals. If Germany keeps up the pace, they'll have scored 15 by the end of full-time play.

They're going to start slowing it down, knocking the ball around and conserving energy. Although Brazil may well lose it completely and get a man or two sent off...
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:40 PM on July 8


It will be Brazil Holland in the 3rd place playoff, and it will be the most violent game of the tournament as both teams take out their regret and anger at not reaching the final on the other.
posted by marienbad at 1:41 PM on July 8 [6 favorites]


Has the match attained Ludicrous Display speed yet?
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:42 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Oscar disposessed again. Maybe try Willian and Ramirez or something. Is Fred stil on the pitch?
posted by marienbad at 1:42 PM on July 8


When does the rubberband AI kick in?
posted by kmz at 1:43 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


I thought there was a This American Life about flops (the disastrous performance type, not the soccer type) but I can't find it.
posted by shothotbot at 1:43 PM on July 8


Is Fred stil on the pitch?

How would you tell the difference?
posted by Errant at 1:44 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


See that England, thats how to break at speed
posted by marienbad at 1:45 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Is Fred ever really on the pitch? And extra goalpost would be more helpful than Fred.
posted by TwoStride at 1:45 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


BBC announcer:
"This is one of the worst teams to ever reach a World Cup semi final!"
"This is one of the worst first halves of football possibly in Brazilian history!"
posted by ardgedee at 1:46 PM on July 8


PEEP PEEP
Half-time score board: BRA 0-5 GER
posted by travelwithcats at 1:46 PM on July 8


I thought there was a This American Life about flops (the disastrous performance type, not the soccer type) but I can't find it.

The fiasco episode?
posted by passerby at 1:47 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Holy moley.
posted by homunculus at 1:47 PM on July 8


> If I were Dilma Rousseff I would start looking for another job.

If I were Scolari I would start looking for a forged passport and a fake beard.
posted by ardgedee at 1:48 PM on July 8 [7 favorites]


I was reading the Guardian MBM and had to check a live stream to confirm they weren't just having some fun. This is a shocking score.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:48 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


This is surely the worst half in Brazilian history. They've waited 64 years to avenge 1950, and the team that carries all their hopes is getting destroyed by a German team which isn't even considered vintage. I can't even imagine how they feel. No matter my disdain for this Brazilian team, their fans do not deserve this. But "deserve" doesn't have much to do with football.
posted by Errant at 1:49 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Guardian: "If Brazil were a horse, you'd throw a blanket over them, erect the green screens and do the humane thing."
posted by languagehat at 1:49 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


Y'all we're about to see one of the great comebacks in the history of sport!

::keeps the faith::
posted by 26.2 at 1:49 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


Guardian's MBM: "40 min: If Brazil were a horse, you'd throw a blanket over them, erect the green screens and do the humane thing. As it is, they've another 48 minutes of this torture to go. They're getting rent asunder here, losing a World Cup semi-final 5-0in their own manner."
posted by TwoStride at 1:50 PM on July 8


They're going to have to smuggle the Brazil side out of the stadium in a laundry truck or something when this is all over.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:50 PM on July 8


The fiasco episode?

Yes!
posted by shothotbot at 1:50 PM on July 8


“Perhaps the most sickening thing for Brazil,” writes Rat Soni on Twitter; “they are eliciting pity from an American.”
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:50 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Just 179 seconds between the second and fourth goals.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:52 PM on July 8


Heh, the commercial on ESPN after halftime for me was this one about Mercy Rule in Shaving?
posted by lizarrd at 1:53 PM on July 8


If Brazil come back from this, sport can say: "OK, that's the best we got, everyone. We're shutting up shop now. Time for ... I dunno, try some reading or something."
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:54 PM on July 8


Wasn't sure for a minute there; thought maybe there was a glitch on the Google score display thingy. Glad to have it confirmed other people are seeing this too.
posted by Hoopo at 1:54 PM on July 8


I was afraid that this may be a rough match, but not like this, not like this. This is like Blackadder's final episode, but where Neymar lucked and got injured before having to go and "be a hero".
posted by Free word order! at 1:55 PM on July 8


After Argentina conceded six goals to the Czechs in Sweden in '58, the players were pelted with fruit, coins, and trash when they returned home. The Brazilians are already home; I think all they can do is leave.
posted by languagehat at 1:55 PM on July 8


And thus "penta" suddenly takes on a whole new meaning...
posted by sour cream at 1:55 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Reposted from another blog:


This is the second time in World Cup history that 5 goals have been scored in the first 30 minutes of a match (Yugoslavia v. Zaire, 1974)

THESE COUNTRIES DON'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE!

posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:55 PM on July 8 [34 favorites]


How much of this is attributable to missing Neymar and Thiago Silva? It seems to me like Germany would still be blitzing this Brazilian side, but I also can't wrap my head around the concept of a Brazilian side making it all the way to a World Cup semifinal as a paper tiger.
posted by the painkiller at 1:58 PM on July 8


Zaire 1974 - Worst. Team. Ever.

I said the German's would win the damn thing. (And the next comment after that is interestingly accurate!)
posted by marienbad at 1:59 PM on July 8


I can't see anything and its driving me nuts. Why is Brazil playing so badly? Are they intentionally throwing the match?
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:00 PM on July 8


You know, Brazil haven't lost at home in my lifetime. Bloody hell.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:00 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Ok, 2nd half, anyonbe care to predict the final score?
posted by marienbad at 2:01 PM on July 8


0-10
posted by Pendragon at 2:02 PM on July 8


IIRC Neymar scored half of all Brazilian goals, and his absence and injury are certainly demoralizing.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:02 PM on July 8


Wait, there is another half of this?
posted by shothotbot at 2:02 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


The Globo feed keeps crapping out on me, preventing me from listening to the Brazilian soccer announcers wailing and gnashing their teeth.
posted by needled at 2:02 PM on July 8


Brazil haven't been convincing at this World Cup, but they have been solid at the back and done enough to make it this far. Is it the emotions of the Neymar injury that's causing this? Nerves about being a game away from the final? Something else?

As shockers this World Cup goes, there was also the Netherlands - Spain match, but that game was even (in terms of performance) up until the second Dutch goal. Also, Spain's subsequent results showed that they just didn't have it this year for whatever reason. For Brazil this is coming out of nowhere.

Also, does the result make Germany the favourites for the final or do we treat this as a fluke and go back to their performances over the entire tournament?
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:03 PM on July 8


Ramirez and Paulino on, Hulk and Fernandinho off , Mertesaker on for Hummels
posted by marienbad at 2:03 PM on July 8


You'd expect a further thrashing or a Brazil comeback, but quite likely this will remain at 0-5.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:03 PM on July 8


Thiago Silva, most definitely. He's their leader at the back and their communicator. Neymar, maybe not so much.

I also can't wrap my head around the concept of a Brazilian side making it all the way to a World Cup semifinal as a paper tiger.

I mean, it's certainly unprecedented for a Brazil side, but it's not really without precedent. South Korea made it to the semifinals of WC 2002 as a host nation -- also, as it happens, with a fair amount of refereeing controversy.
posted by Errant at 2:03 PM on July 8


any portmanteua - Who can stop Germany on this evidence?
posted by marienbad at 2:04 PM on July 8


Ok, 2nd half, anyonbe care to predict the final score?

It's going to end 5:1 or 6:1, as in an act of ultimate humiliation, the Germans will let Brazil score an "honor" goal. Of course, they'll deny it afterwards...
posted by sour cream at 2:04 PM on July 8


On the bright (?!?!) side, at least it's to Germany in the semi, not, say, Argentina in the final.
posted by shortfuse at 2:04 PM on July 8


They can't buy a penalty lol
posted by marienbad at 2:05 PM on July 8


Looks like a lot of fans left the stands during the half time break. The stands are noticeably emptier of yellow shirts now.
posted by ardgedee at 2:05 PM on July 8


I can't see anything and its driving me nuts. Why is Brazil playing so badly? Are they intentionally throwing the match?

Brazil's defense just seems to not be interested or capable in stopping or slowing down Germany; a series of 6' yellow pylons strategically located would have been better. The first half was just boys against men.

I was out of the office and checking on the score on my phone; I get off the train and come up the elevators and they ask me what the score is. I replied 1-0, all smug, only to be informed that it was in fact 4-0. We use the CBC site (which is really good) to watch the goals again so we can see what the fuck happened. By the time we were done watching the 4 goals, Germany had knocked in a 5th.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:06 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


best Brazilian move all game wow - almost a shot!
posted by marienbad at 2:07 PM on July 8


Well, Germany putting Mertesacker in is a bit of a mercy gesture for Brazil. Man, is he lumbering and useless.
posted by TwoStride at 2:07 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Klose to lock up WC goalscorer record forever by scoring 4 own goals this half.
posted by shortfuse at 2:08 PM on July 8


Brazil looking a bit sharper here, as they should. Big risk if they peter out ...
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:08 PM on July 8


Neuer is a beast.
posted by TwoStride at 2:09 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


wow neuer!
posted by marienbad at 2:09 PM on July 8


Well, Germany putting Mertesacker in is a bit of a mercy gesture for Brazil. Man, is he lumbering and useless.


Prediction: Mertesacker to score goal #7 or #8.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:09 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Let's make it a Neuer practice session. That should be entertaining.
posted by dhoe at 2:10 PM on July 8


Watching Globo now - the announcers are very subdued, there are long quiet stretches, this is just unprecedented. Normally they're speaking non-stop so you can follow the game without even watching the screen. And they just called Neuer a wall.
posted by needled at 2:10 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Maybe let one through, Neuer. Just the once.
posted by yasaman at 2:10 PM on July 8


Yeah, it's like the World Cup of spectacular goalies!
posted by travelwithcats at 2:11 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I think the mad scoring run is over. Germany see no need to exert themselves since they have a game on Saturday to be fresh for. If Brazil, implausibly, lands three goals, they'll sink a couple more in response.

But my guess for final score will be either 6-0 or 6-1.
posted by ardgedee at 2:11 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Scolari looks a beaten man.
posted by marienbad at 2:11 PM on July 8


Hulk sad.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:11 PM on July 8


hey all i just got here did i miss anything
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:13 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I swear if you look at the stands in the background there are people leaving.
posted by marienbad at 2:13 PM on July 8


Seriously, Germany, don't let your players get hurt.
posted by TwoStride at 2:13 PM on July 8


On my Facebook:

"The Brazil fans have started singing "It's just like watching West Ham.." :D
posted by Pink Frost at 2:13 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


YOU TRIPPED YOUR OWN TEAMMATE DUMBFUCK
posted by ardgedee at 2:13 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


These Brazilian announcers sound so depressed I'm wondering if they were hitting the bottle during half time.
posted by needled at 2:14 PM on July 8


HULK SMASHED!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:14 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Nah, robocop. Just 5 goals for Germany. But their great performance is nothing new.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:14 PM on July 8


Oh Bioy, Schurrle for Klose! Youth, energy and legs
posted by marienbad at 2:14 PM on July 8


Brazil would have to use a stick to get a card.
posted by shothotbot at 2:15 PM on July 8


Yep. Klose was just subbed off. Want to keep him fresh for a game they might need him at. Which is to say, not this one.
posted by ardgedee at 2:15 PM on July 8


Christ Fred, what was that?
posted by marienbad at 2:15 PM on July 8


See that Fred? Maybe try it sometime
posted by marienbad at 2:16 PM on July 8


If you had asked any Brazilian fan what they wanted from this World Cup, you would have asked to have the memory of their 1-0 loss to Uruguay in the 1950 final wiped out. So there's that.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:17 PM on July 8 [18 favorites]


MBM referring to him as "the wretched Fred."
posted by TwoStride at 2:17 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


I'm at work and not able to watch. Intellectually, I know that this is probably happening and I'm not the victim of an internet hoax, but I can't quite accept it.
posted by Area Man at 2:17 PM on July 8 [12 favorites]


Mueller is prevented from goal 6 by pure luck on Cesar's part.
posted by ardgedee at 2:17 PM on July 8


When they showed that kid crying in his cup after the fourth goal it was like watching Central do Brasil again, just heartrending.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:17 PM on July 8


THIS IS FUCKING TRAUMATIC OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPEN WHY
posted by elizardbits at 2:18 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


> Intellectually, I know that this is probably happening and I'm not the victim of an internet hoax, but I can't quite accept it.

Nah, actually Brazil is ahead 1-0 in a hard-fought game. We're just funnin' you.
posted by languagehat at 2:18 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


also i just watched the entire first half laying facedown on an operating table getting a large needle stuck into my spine and that was 100% less traumatic than 5 goals in 25 minutes
posted by elizardbits at 2:19 PM on July 8 [13 favorites]


Yeesh, one of the Brazilian announcers sounds like he's choking back sobs while talking.
posted by needled at 2:19 PM on July 8


No one runs onto the balls into the box for Brazil.
posted by marienbad at 2:19 PM on July 8


Hatred for Germany rising, rising.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:19 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Nice save by the Brazilian keeper there.
posted by misha at 2:20 PM on July 8


Do you think Bulgaria will be up 5 bofflesnitches to 0 hoarcruxes against Brazil in the Quidditch World Cup?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:20 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Hatred? Cool it, mate. This is a game.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:21 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


every time they go forwards they look dangerous as all hell
posted by marienbad at 2:21 PM on July 8


BBC announcer: "Where do Brazilian players go after a game like this? They have to go to Brasilia for the third-place match but... they go into hiding after that, I guess?"
posted by ardgedee at 2:21 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> Hatred for Germany rising, rising.

Oh, come on. I'm no fan of Germany, but they're just playing football. They can't help it if the other side decided not to show up.
posted by languagehat at 2:21 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


oh well but on the other hand HA HA HA it will be so satisfying watching germany destroy holland
posted by elizardbits at 2:22 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


I admire your restraint.
posted by 26.2 at 2:23 PM on July 8


I swear it looks as if Brazil is playing several men down - they just aren't getting anywhere - aren't going forward, aren't getting back.
posted by leslies at 2:23 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


They almost got Schweinsteigered! Cesar pulled a Neuer though.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:24 PM on July 8


Fred: terrible bicycle kick and offside anyway. That about sums it up, doesn't it?
posted by Errant at 2:24 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


The Brazilian fans are sundered. Empty patches in the stands, and the noise level is closer to that of an Asian vs European match, not a Brazil/anybody match.
posted by ardgedee at 2:24 PM on July 8


And that's 6.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:25 PM on July 8


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
posted by elizardbits at 2:25 PM on July 8


And there's number six.
posted by languagehat at 2:25 PM on July 8


Muller. Holy cow.
posted by gemmy at 2:25 PM on July 8


Tap-in No 6.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:25 PM on July 8


SIX
posted by ardgedee at 2:25 PM on July 8


Brokkr called it ages ago.

Jesus its 6 - Schurrle!
posted by marienbad at 2:25 PM on July 8


Macca on ESPN: "You know, if Brazil's opponents are Argentina or Netherlands, they won't be defending like this."

Yes, I believe those are the two options remaining.
posted by Errant at 2:25 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN
posted by Pendragon at 2:26 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Nope, that sixth goal has sealed my hatred.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:26 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


oh well but on the other hand HA HA HA it will be so satisfying watching germany destroy holland

your tears will be delicious to me.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:26 PM on July 8


Look, I'm for Germany, but enough now.
posted by dhoe at 2:26 PM on July 8


This is now tied for Brazil's worst-ever loss.
posted by joedan at 2:26 PM on July 8


I'm used to any team I root for getting whipped. I AM LOVING THIS.
posted by COBRA! at 2:26 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Fred is off, Willian on.
posted by marienbad at 2:26 PM on July 8


Just a reminder: Paris St Germain just paid 50 million pounds for David Luiz, a world record for a defender.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:26 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


They have run out of space in the goal scoring widget!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:26 PM on July 8


Let Neuer make a goal too!
posted by Free word order! at 2:27 PM on July 8


Are the Brazilians chanting BOO-URNS yet?
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:27 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


I'm in the sad bus, so I'm not watching the game. Let me know if something unusual happens, like Germany scoring.
posted by eriko at 2:27 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


i just rage ate a pint of chocolate ice cream
posted by elizardbits at 2:27 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


BBC: Germany might declare soon.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:27 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Argentina-Germany final! I BELIEVE!
posted by lizarrd at 2:28 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Heh. Maybe I should stop posting the words Germany and Scoring.
posted by eriko at 2:28 PM on July 8


Dante's Inferno
posted by Omnomnom at 2:28 PM on July 8


Beautiful. Like clockwork.
posted by misha at 2:28 PM on July 8


> HA HA HA it will be so satisfying watching germany destroy holland

I dunno. The imbalance in this match seems to be so much more a matter of Brazil's weakness, not Germany's strength. I don't get the feeling this would tell me anything about how Germany would perform against a team that wasn't composed of high schoolers and weekend leaguers.
posted by ardgedee at 2:29 PM on July 8


I heard a story from an Indian nobleman that his grandfather played on a polo team that beat the neighboring polo team so badly the broke the mallets and retired.
posted by shothotbot at 2:29 PM on July 8


Do any of the big football leagues do 5 or 7 game series?
posted by mullacc at 2:29 PM on July 8


The germans are toying with brazil like a cat with its prey.
posted by marienbad at 2:29 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I don't know if I can describe the way the Brazilian announcer went "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL" at that sixth German goal. He paused for a bit before managing to yell it out in a manner completely devoid of joy or excitement.
posted by needled at 2:30 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


I'm rooting for Germany, but I don't even want to see the end of the match at this point. The Brazilian players are just going to have nervous breakdowns right before our eyes while the German players hand out pity hugs and backslaps to their despairing opponents.
posted by yasaman at 2:30 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I have an American compulsion to root for the underdog; I didn't expect that to be Brazil.
posted by desjardins at 2:31 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


the worst part is that i honestly didn't care which team won this game but to watch such a grotesque humiliation is just wrong and bad

unless it's holland
posted by elizardbits at 2:31 PM on July 8 [5 favorites]


why so mean to Holland.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:32 PM on July 8


The Guardian's MBM: "62 min: ...surely Luis Felipe Scolari could walk down to the Copacabana any time of the day, throw a stick and hit somebody who's a better striker than Fred? How does he get in this team? It's unfair to single him out on the basis of a performance in which almost all of his team-mates have been dreadful, but he's been consistently awful throughout this tournament but keeps getting picked."
posted by ardgedee at 2:33 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Hey, elizardbits, it's the Netherlands, not Holland.
posted by Pendragon at 2:33 PM on July 8


What a time to come on as a sub. kheidera has been excellent and deserves a rest.

Although this is bad for Brazil, it is/will create fantastic publicity for the World Cup
posted by marienbad at 2:33 PM on July 8


Do any of the big football leagues do 5 or 7 game series?

Not that I'm aware of, but many international tournaments do a two-game home and away series, where they play one game at each club's stadium and the best aggregate score advances.
posted by Errant at 2:33 PM on July 8


It's the Netherooland.
posted by eriko at 2:34 PM on July 8


Was Germany not really trying that hard in its games against Ghana and the U.S.?
posted by Area Man at 2:34 PM on July 8


Yay! GOAL!
posted by travelwithcats at 2:34 PM on July 8


After the 1950 match:
Barbosa was blamed for the defeat, for which he suffered for the rest of his life as the match became part of Brazilian folklore. In 2000, shortly before his death, he said in an interview: "The maximum punishment in Brazil is 30 years imprisonment, but I have been paying, for something I am not even responsible for, by now, for 50 years.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:34 PM on July 8


They're singing "so ein Tag, so wunderschön wie heute..."
And you can hear them.
posted by Omnomnom at 2:34 PM on July 8


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.........
posted by languagehat at 2:34 PM on July 8


this is unbearable oh my god
posted by elizardbits at 2:35 PM on July 8


SEVEN!!
posted by leslies at 2:35 PM on July 8


You just turn around to get some grapes and some fecker scores again.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:35 PM on July 8


Goooooooool!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:35 PM on July 8


And David Luiz swings at a phantom of a ball, nearly hits a German player cleats out. Narrowly avoids a booking, despite doing his utmost against his own case by shouting angrily at the ref., who was reaching towards his vest pocket before having second thoughts
posted by ardgedee at 2:35 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


SEVEN
posted by ardgedee at 2:35 PM on July 8


Utter humiliation. Someone said that when it's like this, they should allow the Brazilian team to just bring on people from the audience for a pickup game. Swap everyone out! Couldn't be any worse, really...
posted by gemmy at 2:35 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Schurrle again! on a hatrick now and he's only been on about 15 minutes!
posted by marienbad at 2:35 PM on July 8


How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:36 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN
posted by Pendragon at 2:36 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


I am not even watching this game. My next door neighbors are, and I am just sitting here listening to their reactions since I can't bear to watch.

Brazil is going to be in an existential crisis when this game is over.
posted by ambrosia at 2:36 PM on July 8


Cesar has been uncharacteristically slow the whole match, but at this point he's just phoning it in. That last attempt was as clear a case of "fuck it" I'd seen yet.
posted by ardgedee at 2:36 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I hope Neymar is well medicated.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:36 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Never mind Brazilian history, this might be the worst performance in World Cup history, period.
posted by Errant at 2:36 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


And Brazil could get the dubious honour of joining Saudi Arabia in the worst thrashing inflicted by the Germans if they score one more.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:36 PM on July 8


Pendragon: are you a PSV fan by any chance?
posted by MartinWisse at 2:37 PM on July 8


Julio Cesar: "et sept, Brute?"
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:37 PM on July 8


I really like the stripy German kit. And Löw's always stylish.
posted by needled at 2:37 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?

Dude. Calm down.
posted by languagehat at 2:37 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


Wow the little FIFA scoreboard graphic has to scroll to list all the scorers. I didn't even know that was a thing that could happen...
posted by the painkiller at 2:38 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Only 3 more for record! TEN TEN TEN!!!!
I want Schweini to get one too.../
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:38 PM on July 8


Germany is scoring goals despite themselves. They're not really trying to any more, but they still landed two more this half.
posted by ardgedee at 2:38 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


MartinWisse: Nope, FC Groningen.
posted by Pendragon at 2:38 PM on July 8


ESPN - "brazil's worst defeat in 94 years"

i think this has passed over the line from tragedy to comedy tbh

the brazilian crowd is now cheering for germany
posted by elizardbits at 2:39 PM on July 8


BBC: Brazilian fans are ole-ing the German team.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:39 PM on July 8


How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?

I genuinely can't decide which is worse though, for the team winning to just stop trying and let the other side have a pity goal, or to continue to dominate. Both options are pretty gutting for the losing team's pride.
posted by yasaman at 2:39 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Was there ever a match with more goals in the WC semis? I don't think so. This is history!
posted by travelwithcats at 2:39 PM on July 8


I know I said Zaire 1974 - Worst. Team. Ever, but they would have given this Brazil side a run for its money.

Fans leaving in droves now.
posted by marienbad at 2:39 PM on July 8


How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?

Because the Golden Boot is a real award and there's only two more games to get goals in. This isn't a kid's playground, and Germany can hardly help it if they're being allowed the freedom of Brazil's penalty box.
posted by Errant at 2:39 PM on July 8 [23 favorites]


And seven, seven for no tomorrow.
posted by eriko at 2:39 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


Brazilian announcers are running through Scolari's worst losses. I think they've lost interest in this game.
posted by needled at 2:39 PM on July 8


BBC announcer: "Brazilian fans are giving the Germans OLEs. And that is the worst humiliation."

I have no idea whether the Brazilian fans have turned against their national team or if they've been struck dumb and can't drown out the Germans any more.
posted by ardgedee at 2:40 PM on July 8


Look at the space for Lahm
posted by marienbad at 2:40 PM on July 8


Germany are just being dicks now.
posted by 26.2 at 2:41 PM on July 8


Pendragon: good, because the TEN TEN TEN brought back traumatic memories.

you weren't one of the Groningen fans who set fire to their own stadium?
posted by MartinWisse at 2:41 PM on July 8


how can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score
Dude, you look like a prime candidate for Luis Suarez Anger Management Camp. Brazil has completely given up, and Germany isn't even trying. Did you miss Schuerrle pulling up with a phantom offside call he awarded himself?
posted by TwoStride at 2:41 PM on July 8 [6 favorites]


Brazil are trying to score, it seems fair for Germany to try as well.
posted by shothotbot at 2:41 PM on July 8


Neuer is not going to be beat
posted by marienbad at 2:41 PM on July 8


Oh and if this wasn't humiliating enough, Brazil has to actually roll out a team for the third-place match. They have to play *again*, they can't just go home with their tails tucked between their legs. That has all the makings of a total hate-fest... That is going to be a thing to watch.
posted by the painkiller at 2:42 PM on July 8


Guardian:
David Luiz has been shocking tonight. He looks like some hungover git from the Dog & Duck who's won a competition to play in a World Cup semi-final for Brazil. He was once again at fault for that goal, which by my estimation, makes him culpable for no fewer than six of the seven his team has shipped tonight.
posted by languagehat at 2:42 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Guardian: "If Brazil were a horse, you'd throw a blanket over them, erect the green screens and do the humane thing."

Five posts from an hour or so ago pretty much tell the tale:

GOAL! Brazil 0-1 Germany (Muller 10)

From a corner, a totally unmarked Thomas Muller side-foots home from six yards out to fire Germany into the lead.

GOAL! Germany 2-0 Brazil (Klose 22)

Miroslav Klose scores a record-breaking 16th World Cup goal into the bottom right-hand corner from about 11 yards out to put Germany 2-0 up and leave Brazil in all sorts of bother.

GOAL! Germany 3-0 Brazil (Muller 25)

Germany rip Brazil apart down the right hand side, exploiting the space behind Marcelo. The ball's crossed and Toni Kroos volleys hoome with his left foot from about 15 yards.

GOAL! Germany 4-0 Brazil (Kroos 26)

No, really. Toni Kroos sidefoots home into an empty net from about 10 yards out after being teed up by Sami Khedira. Fernandinho had been caught in possession about 30 yards from his own goal. This is total humiliation for Brazil, whose players look distraught. Many of their supporters are openly weeping.

Brazil 0-5 Germany (Khedira 29)

Sami Khedira side-foots home Germany's fourth goal in six minutes from the left side of the penalty area, about 12 yards out. This is a World Cup final in Brazil and the hosts are 5-0 down in the semi-final after less than 30 minutes. Did we ever think we'd see the day?


and so on ...

posted by philip-random at 2:42 PM on July 8


Look at the space for Lahm

Yes, the Brazilian defence has gone on the, ahem, lahm.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:42 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


every time i look at the score and it is surreal
posted by marienbad at 2:42 PM on July 8


MartinWisse: No, I only watch football from the comfort of my home :-)
posted by Pendragon at 2:42 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> Nah, I'll express myself as I see fit. Go tend your rose garden.

Man, there are a bunch us here who are not cheering for Germany, but fair's fair. Germany is responsible for scoring those goals, but Brazil is responsible for preventing them and they're completely outgunned and only half playing like they care.

Germany brought players to the game and Brazil brought sandbags. Brazil only had a chance if they had prepared.
posted by ardgedee at 2:43 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


yeah i keep expecting the camera to pull back and show that it's actually germany NT vs some brazilian elementary school

but no
posted by elizardbits at 2:44 PM on July 8


Please, 0 minutes of injury time.
posted by shothotbot at 2:44 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Scolari looks like a man who needs a bottle of wine and a vicodin.
posted by ardgedee at 2:44 PM on July 8


At least when we thrashed Spain in our opening game, we gave them some hope by letting them score first...
posted by MartinWisse at 2:44 PM on July 8


go on germany, bang in another one. use up all your goals in this game!
posted by marienbad at 2:45 PM on July 8


David Luiz - for all of his graciousness and charm - has always occasionally flaked out on the pitch. Too bad he's doing it one the world stage.
posted by 26.2 at 2:45 PM on July 8


I think Scolari would happily mainline scag right now.
posted by marienbad at 2:45 PM on July 8


Of course Ozil is the only German to miss...
posted by MartinWisse at 2:46 PM on July 8


all we have left now are panzer division jokes
posted by elizardbits at 2:46 PM on July 8


Finally.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:46 PM on July 8


aw, bless
posted by elizardbits at 2:46 PM on July 8


Amazing, Brazil actually scored!
posted by languagehat at 2:46 PM on July 8


No way, they actually missed one!
posted by marienbad at 2:46 PM on July 8


What is Brazil's national liquor? Buying stock in that right now.
posted by desjardins at 2:46 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Goal!
posted by Omnomnom at 2:46 PM on July 8


Come on Brazil, you can still win!!!
posted by Pendragon at 2:46 PM on July 8


GER 1-0 USA.

'MERICA, FUCK YEAH!
posted by eriko at 2:46 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Glad it was Oscar.
posted by languagehat at 2:47 PM on July 8


Holy fuck, Germany misses the goal.

But Brazil gets one!
posted by ardgedee at 2:47 PM on July 8


(I am clearly out of sync with you guys cos I meant ozil!)
posted by marienbad at 2:47 PM on July 8


BBC announcer: "The Germans are absolutely livid! They've let one in!"
posted by ardgedee at 2:47 PM on July 8


That's the start of the comeback!
posted by 26.2 at 2:47 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Awww, I feel bad that Ozil couldn't score.
posted by TwoStride at 2:48 PM on July 8


How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?

This is the semifinals of the World Cup. This isn't Alabama playing some random Division 2 school.
posted by kmz at 2:48 PM on July 8 [7 favorites]


I kind of wish the Brazilian team would all fall over and pretend to be asleep so that this awful spectacle would end.
posted by Justinian at 2:48 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Just need seven more!
posted by eriko at 2:48 PM on July 8


Punto final, se acabo. Please Brazilian team, stay far away from the favelas tonight.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:48 PM on July 8


Its over , Brazil can go home....
posted by marienbad at 2:49 PM on July 8


Thank goodness it's over -
posted by leslies at 2:49 PM on July 8


David Luis is praying.

I think he's just hoping to live.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:49 PM on July 8


time to go express the dog's ass glands, i'm looking forward to it at this point
posted by elizardbits at 2:49 PM on July 8 [7 favorites]


Brazil players all seem to be praying!
posted by marienbad at 2:49 PM on July 8


Oh man crying brazilians. At least y'all got that last goal!
posted by dogheart at 2:49 PM on July 8


I'm glad I'm not watching this live because I hate to see people crying.
posted by desjardins at 2:50 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Yeah, nobody's really praising Germany for playing like geniuses and superheroes. It was just sturdy, solid play on their part. Brazil collapsed on the opening whistle and never found their legs.

Fun fact: Brazil scored eight goals across the entire tournament. Germany nearly did it in 90 minutes.
posted by ardgedee at 2:50 PM on July 8


It was an entertaining game!
posted by travelwithcats at 2:51 PM on July 8


The Brazilians (well cesar) look like they are arguing a bit!
posted by marienbad at 2:51 PM on July 8


I'm glad Oscar got one in the end. Such devastating sorrow by the Brazilian players, I feel for them so much. Imagine your whole country angry with you. And still they have to play the bronze game... Heartbreaking.
posted by gemmy at 2:52 PM on July 8


Guardian MBM: "81 min: With the exception of some top drawer pre-match pointing, shirt waving and anthem singing, David Luiz has been shocking tonight. He looks like some hungover git from the Dog & Duck who's won a competition to play in a World Cup semi-final for Brazil."
posted by ardgedee at 2:52 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I wonder what happens now to all the Brazilian TV adverts touting being "hexacampeão" (six-time champions).
posted by needled at 2:53 PM on July 8


This is the semifinals of the World Cup. This isn't Alabama playing some random Division 2 school.

Running up the score is running up the score, regardless of the venue. There was no need for some huge goal differential to advance to the next stage. Germany should have pulled their stars at the start of the second half, even if it left them a man down by injury. Also, they should have played their version of slow ball, which they've exhibited before in this World Cup.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:53 PM on July 8


I'm drinking the sweet wine of victory, but that was a bit too much. Sorry for Oscar.
posted by ersatz at 2:54 PM on July 8


Ghana must feel pretty good about themselves right now.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:54 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


Is there a German word for fremdschämen?
posted by kmz at 2:54 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


"Running up the score"? I have never seen a pro team not score the goals they could.
posted by brokkr at 2:55 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Purposeful Grimace: "Also, they should have played their version of slow ball, which they've exhibited before in this World Cup."
That's what they did, for fucks sake! Brazil had near complete possession at the beginning of the second half but couldn't do anything with it. And instead of standing around, Germany decided they might as well score some more.
posted by brokkr at 2:56 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


The BBC's big colorful display of the final score in the pundit's booth spelled out "(seven)" under Germany's score to make it clear this wasn't a typo.
posted by ardgedee at 2:56 PM on July 8


.
posted by runincircles at 2:58 PM on July 8


"Running up the score" is pretty much the whole point of football (and sport in general, except golf)
posted by AndrewStephens at 2:58 PM on July 8


I have never seen a pro team not score the goals they could.

Really, not even in American football? I don't have the memory some people have for sports but I know I've seen teams take a knee rather than score again in a truly lopsided game. No one wants to take the risk of injury to make it 63-7 instead of 56-7.
posted by desjardins at 2:58 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


The Brazilians got waxed.
posted by gman at 2:59 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


I don't watch American football. We're talking about football here.

It was clear the Germans were holding back in the second half.
posted by brokkr at 3:00 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Not really. You get a W, not a W+6.

If there's a possibility of settling on points, then okay. That's not what going on here. A win is win.
posted by 26.2 at 3:00 PM on July 8


You are in the semi-final of the most prominent tournament in the world. If you let a team score four goals against you -- in the semi final of the most prominent tournament in the world -- then you deserve to have eight scored against you.

This is a semifinal. This should have been 1-0 or 2-1. The fact that it's 7-1 shows that Brazil didn't deserve to get out of the group stages.

And many have been saying that since game one of this tournament. Now, nobody's going to say that Brazil was unlucky.

They were beaten. They were beaten like the bad team they always were.

I'm only annoyed that Germany beat them. I was rooting for the meteor.

But the reason Brazil lost by six goal? They deserved it. Germany was damn near able to score at will.
posted by eriko at 3:01 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


Sorry for Brazil, but deserved win for Germany.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:01 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


> Germany should have pulled their stars at the start of the second half, even if it left them a man down by injury.

Hummels was replaced during the break. Klose was replaced by Schurrle. The final two goals were scored by the substitute.
posted by ardgedee at 3:01 PM on July 8 [10 favorites]


BBC reshowing the Germany goals - look even worse on replay
posted by marienbad at 3:03 PM on July 8


Really, not even in American football? I don't have the memory some people have for sports but I know I've seen teams take a knee rather than score again in a truly lopsided game. No one wants to take the risk of injury to make it 63-7 instead of 56-7

You do that when you can knee down and end the game without losing possession. Nobody knees down when there's still a quarter or half left. You can put in your second string and/or basically tell them to not pass, but they're still going to try on offense.
posted by kmz at 3:03 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


And you only get three subs in this game. You can't roll out the third string. There is no third string.
posted by eriko at 3:03 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


ESPN saying German fans have been told to stay in their seats so that they can be escorted out by security. Crazy.
posted by lalex at 3:05 PM on July 8


Seriously, Brazil lost this by minute 26. The power imbalance was proven: Germany could have easily run the score to double digits if they wanted to.

The rest of the match was purely to fulfill protocol. The score ceased to matter. Germany did slow the game down, and the last three goals were time-wasters.
posted by ardgedee at 3:05 PM on July 8


Ah well, that's sport for you. You gotta take your knocks. Roll on the next game; there is always a next game.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:06 PM on July 8


Hahahahaha. ‏@ScottishFA: Just a quick reminder that our first #EURO2016 qualifier is vs #GER in Dortmund in September. Good. #naeborra
posted by IanMorr at 3:07 PM on July 8 [7 favorites]


BBC show brief highlights of 78 final accompanied by "I feel love."
posted by marienbad at 3:08 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Well. That was not something you see everyday.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:09 PM on July 8


Yeah, it's BS. I hate it when teams start to slow-play and drive the ball into the corners once they have the lead. Just keep playing and scoring.
And as eriko points out you can't swap out more than 3 players anyhow so you can't take off all your stars. Also, in a way that would be even more humiliating if you were able to and did swap in the B or C team.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:09 PM on July 8


Yeah, Germany did slow it down a bit, and made what substitutions they could. And they only scored 2 goals (and conceded 1) in the second half.

Nothing wrong with the way they played, Brazil will simply awful. One of the worst performances I've seen by any team, never mind a big team like Brazil. It was like watching Spain play New Zealand a few years back, the Spanish just moved the ball around and scored at will against a non-existent NZ defence. Except we were watching Brazil today.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:09 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


BBC: Germany have scored more goals in 3 minutes than England did in entire World Cup.
posted by marienbad at 3:12 PM on July 8 [9 favorites]


Brazil made James cry for that?
posted by shothotbot at 3:15 PM on July 8 [12 favorites]


Short of just hanging out in midfield kicking the ball around for the entire second half, what were Germany supposed to do? They slowed it down and kept playing, and they played a clean game. No one player dominated to score an egregious number of goals either. I think that's the best sportsmanship we could expect from Germany, or any team in a similar position.
posted by yasaman at 3:16 PM on July 8


See that's why I love hockey. You'd never see such a lambasting in the semis of the world tournament, and defs not against the mighty host team, no sirree Bob. You'd wait 'til the final.
posted by hangashore at 3:23 PM on July 8


Haven't been commenting in these threads though I've been reading them & wish I could give you more than one favorite for that, shothotbot. Like maybe... seven?

I still haven't got over how brilliant James was and how devastated after that match.

Still and all, Colombia's responsible for Brazil playing without Neymar. I was rooting against Brazil but would have preferred to see what would have happened if they'd had Neymar and Silva on board instead of coming into this match all insecure and jittery. A dignified loss would have been so much better than that rout. What a shame.
posted by torticat at 3:27 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


There is no such thing as running up the score at a World Cup semi-finals, especially if the other team is five-time champion Brazil.

In little league against an obviously outclassed team sure. In the FA cup or some other competition that pits top-flight teams against those from lower divisions, maybe. But in a competition of equals, never. A team can do its best to minimize injuries, but beyond that they should be playing with conviction, and playing to win. To do otherwise is to cheat the fans and the players themselves.

Long after people forget about the winner of this year's World Cup, they will still remember this scoreline.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:31 PM on July 8 [12 favorites]


Well. The armies of darkness are marching all over the face of the Earth. This is a dark day.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 3:31 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


torticat - I agree completely. And this coming from a German supporter. But Silva missing this game was truly his own fault, I mean, what was he thinking?
posted by nostrada at 3:33 PM on July 8


This is a bright day.
posted by nostrada at 3:34 PM on July 8


> The fact that it's 7-1 shows that Brazil didn't deserve to get out of the group stages.

It's an observed phenomenon that the host countries do uncharacteristically well in the World Cup (eg, South Korea in 2002). Today's game, in contrast with the preceding games, opens the question of what kind of handling Brazil had received this year in addition to home field advantage.

Granted that Silva and especially Neymar were missing. Big talents lost, arguably tipped the odds in Germany's favor. But that should still not have anticipated this rout.
posted by ardgedee at 3:35 PM on July 8


any portmanteau in a storm: "In the FA cup or some other competition that pits top-flight teams against those from lower divisions, maybe."
That would be highly unusual in Germany, where the DFB Cup with some regularity sees scorelines run into the tens.
posted by brokkr at 3:37 PM on July 8


Of course, without Brazil winning in the quarterfinals we would not have The Beautiful Cuddle to rekindle our faith in humanities essential goodness.
posted by shothotbot at 3:38 PM on July 8


I'm still waiting for the cameras to pull back and show that the stadium was actually inside a snowglobe in the hands of a small autistic child.
posted by elizardbits at 3:39 PM on July 8 [10 favorites]


sadbrazilians.tumblr.com - that was quick.
posted by Gary at 3:42 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Going to look like an American Football score.

7-1: it's possible in Canadian football.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 3:44 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


Well. The armies of darkness are marching all over the face of the Earth. This is a dark day.

Really? People have been saying for pretty much this whole tournament that this Brazil team wasn't good enough and was skating by. They got found out. I do feel for the Brazilians as a football nation, they don't deserve to be humiliated like that. But their humiliation is the fault of this Selecao, and it was coming.
posted by Errant at 3:45 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


> sadbrazilians.tumblr.com - that was quick.

This made me hyperventilate.
posted by ardgedee at 3:53 PM on July 8


How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?

Scolari did not field 11 nine-year-olds any more than the German bench was filled with second-rate players they could have put on to finish out the game—even if they were allowed more than three subs with which to do so. The drubbing Brazil received was due in large part to their back line, who simply never shaped up. Or showed up, for that matter, except to make dreadful attempts at closing German attackers down, and to do so at inopportune times. And occasionally to make poor runs into the final third, only to fail to get back when their attacks broke down.

Your hatred against the German side should probably be directed toward the 31 other national teams who would have done the same thing given the same opportunity, including Brazil—particularly if they could have done so in front of a home crowd.
posted by dogurthr at 3:53 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


But Silva missing this game was truly his own fault, I mean, what was he thinking?

I think that was genuinely sloppy, not intended at all, he just misjudged distances or where the ball was or something. Not that he didn't deserve the yellow, though, because come on. But there is no way he would have tackled the goalie on purpose.
posted by torticat at 3:55 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Hey, elizardbits, it's the Netherlands, not Holland.

oh hey pendragon sorry about that, is this like the American/USian thing or is it something else?
posted by elizardbits at 4:00 PM on July 8


How can any sane being NOT hate Germany right now for their bullshit running up of the score?

I would humbly suggest that you don't know a bloody thing about football. If you win like this you deserve it and if you lose like this you deserve it.

And Brazil and Germany both deserved it and probably more.
posted by dng at 4:04 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


I could have sworn Paises Baixos was the name generally used, but during this World Cup the Brazilian press seems to be using Holanda exclusively.
posted by needled at 4:04 PM on July 8


brokkr: That would be highly unusual in Germany, where the DFB Cup with some regularity sees scorelines run into the tens.

Wow, those are some lopsided scores. I did say maybe.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:05 PM on July 8


Neymar would have spent most of the game lying on the floor anyway, so his injury made little difference.
posted by biffa at 4:05 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


It's all Mick Jagger's fault.
posted by needled at 4:07 PM on July 8


Really? People have been saying for pretty much this whole tournament that this Brazil team wasn't good enough and was skating by. They got found out. I do feel for the Brazilians as a football nation, they don't deserve to be humiliated like that. But their humiliation is the fault of this Selecao, and it was coming.

Yeah... and, you know, this German team is not just not a bad team in terms of the quality of its play, it's not a bad team ethically. They don't dive excessively or foul excessively, they play passing football, all that.

There have been much, much worse German teams. I mean, Low was brought in specifically to deal with the fact that the German national team's approach to playing football was delivering diminishing returns.

Whereas there have been much, much better Brazilian teams, in footballing terms and in footballing ethics terms...
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:09 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


From wikipedia, FWIW:

For example, the "Holland" entry in the style guide of The Guardian and The Observer newspapers states: "Do not use when you mean the Netherlands (of which it is a region), with the exception of the Dutch football team, which is conventionally known as Holland".[7] The Times style guide states "use the Netherlands ... for all contexts except sports teams, historical uses, or when referring to the provinces of North and South Holland"
posted by Rumple at 4:12 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Really? People have been saying for pretty much this whole tournament that this Brazil team wasn't good enough and was skating by. They got found out. I do feel for the Brazilians as a football nation, they don't deserve to be humiliated like that. But their humiliation is the fault of this Selecao, and it was coming.

Errant, you're right, I'm not denying that. At this point I would rather Chile have won in that uninspiring first match (which was just foreshadowing). I just love David Luiz so much as a sportsman. . . reading O Globo right now is killing me ('Eu só queria poder dar uma alegria ao meu povo, à minha gente, que passa tanto sofrimento.')


I fully admit to not liking the German team for stupid personal reasons, but I am sad for Brazil as a country, not just a sporting one. I think, paradoxically, many Brazilians are going to be happy about this result, as national attention can again be focused on the colossal misappropriation of a national budget this world cup was (though I have loved every minute of it, including today. . .)
posted by TheTingTangTong at 4:13 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


As a side note, I wonder if this will make Ann Coulter come around. The scoring was fast and furious, and I am sure she is a Germany fan. I mean, there is still the crying issue but at least she can't say there were no losers. . .
posted by TheTingTangTong at 4:16 PM on July 8


A decent bit of perspective on this year's World Cup. Written and gone up before today's match, but I don't think today's blowout tarnishes it.
posted by ardgedee at 4:19 PM on July 8


This world cup isn't as good as other world cups because somehow the colours just aren't as evocative.

It's for this reason that my favourite ever world cup, even though it occurred about two weeks after I was born, is the 1978 World Cup, or at least its final. The dark green of the pitch and the patches of black mud, the contrast between the vibrant orange and pale blue of the kits, the ticker tape absolutely everywhere, the yellow of the score graphics. It's beautiful
posted by dng at 4:27 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Well, I guess Brazil was...

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

...Mannschafted.
posted by eriko at 4:29 PM on July 8 [10 favorites]


ardgedee: "A decent bit of perspective on this year's World Cup. Written and gone up before today's match, but I don't think today's blowout tarnishes it."
...
And it needs 13 goals in the last four matches for it to usurp 1998 anyway. Statistics can be used both ways; the current average of 1.92 goals after the first round – when it really counts - is the second lowest in World Cup history. And there is time for it drop below the average of 1.89 recorded in 2006.
If the goal average is to drop below 1.89, we need -1 goals scored in the last three matches. ;)

That article reads very much like a grumpy old man to me.
posted by brokkr at 4:31 PM on July 8


Rob Smyth's a wonderful writer but he's much better when he writes about something he loves rather than about something he hates (although David Moyes last year belatedly brought some succour to that one).
posted by dng at 4:35 PM on July 8


Looking forward to tomorrow's match, a Guardian headline says that Robin Van Persie didn't practice and has a stomach bug... Wonder if he'll play tomorrow (and/or if the bug will be blamed if he chokes as badly on a shot as he did in the last match).
posted by TwoStride at 4:48 PM on July 8


Lousi van Gaal has probably used his managerial genius to give Robin van Persie a weaponised stomach bug specially designed to infect Messi and Mascherano tomorrow, live, during the handshakes before the game, leading to them having to go off after twenty minutes and be replaced by some people who are not Messi or Mascherano.
posted by dng at 4:52 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


I fully admit to not liking the German team for stupid personal reasons, but I am sad for Brazil as a country, not just a sporting one.

Most definitely. In turn, I fully admit to frequently disliking the Brazil team, primarily for that obnoxious "joga bonito" ad campaign a few years ago, but my grumpiness is reserved solely for the football team; to a person, the Brazilians I have known have been wonderful. So I was grimly satisfied at 3-0. At 5-0, I just started feeling bad for my friends. I don't think Brazil deserved to be in the semifinals, but it's hard to really be happy about such a dismantling. I read one German referring to it as "feeling like you accidentally punched a kid". I can't imagine how it feels to be a Brazilian fan tonight, I really can't.
posted by Errant at 4:55 PM on July 8 [14 favorites]


> That article reads very much like a grumpy old man to me.

Agreed. He's entitled to his opinion, but to follow his own precepts he should have waited till the end of the tournament before trying to throw cold water on it.
posted by languagehat at 5:04 PM on July 8


New York Times infographic of the dismantling of Julio Cesar Anybody have any idea why Cesar booted the ball out of bounds (resulting in that first terrible set-piece) right before the derrotta started?
posted by TheTingTangTong at 5:11 PM on July 8


Speaking as both a Red Sox fan and a Buffalo Bills fan (it's complicated) who has known his share of sports pain, I really can't think of any losses that compare to this one, so I don't know if I can imagine what Brazil fans are feeling right now. The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is the Red Wedding.
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:32 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


Germany got shit confused and scored a touchdown. Poor Brazil.
posted by mullacc at 5:35 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]


On the flip side, all of these Adriana Lima Kia commercials that are shown approximately 924 times during each ESPN broadcast have taken on a whole new sinister twist.
posted by Dr. Zira at 6:14 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


A dead Quaker, worse than that ball going by Buckner's glove?

Brazil, you're the new Buckner.
posted by 26.2 at 6:15 PM on July 8


I started reading The Inverted Pyramid. It would be fun to do it FanFare when it opens up to books.
posted by shothotbot at 6:22 PM on July 8


Okay, so I was happy to see Brazil lose and I don't even speak Portugese, but this TV interview (includes partial transcript) with a crying, apologizing David Luiz is pretty heartbreaking.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 6:38 PM on July 8


i am brazilian, this is the best cup since 1950
posted by Tom-B at 6:40 PM on July 8


For Brazil.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:17 PM on July 8


Tom-B, is there already a name for what happened at Mineirão, to replace Maracanaço?
posted by needled at 7:33 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


What about the Japanese fans cleaning the stadium on their way out?
posted by Admira at 7:49 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]


Speaking as both a Red Sox fan and a Buffalo Bills fan (it's complicated) who has known his share of sports pain

[W]orse than that ball going by Buckner's glove?

Speaking as a Mets and Giants fan, the '86 series and the '91 Super Bowl were frustrating to Sox and Bills fans because both teams had the game _in hand_. They were ready to win and then a boneheaded play (or tough march down the field) shot it all to hell.

This is more of a Giants-Ravens Super Bowl situation, where a team's flaws were dramatically and systemically exposed. The Ravens more or less scored at will that year, similar to the Germans in this game.

Nevertheless the Giants beat the Pats in the Super Bowl twice. It's not really relevant to the discussion, but I'll point it out at any opportunity.
posted by aureliobuendia at 8:21 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]



As a side note, I wonder if this will make Ann Coulter come around. The scoring was fast and furious, and I am sure she is a Germany fan.


Why?

I personally wanted Brazil to win because I picked them in my work confidence pool, but I've liked Germany a lot this World Cup, even beating the US.

One thing that's really struck me though is how much people on social media seem to think Germany hasn't moved on from WWII/Nazis/eugenics fandom. Though there are racists everywhere, Germans are some of the most progressive people I've ever met.

Not saying that Ann Coulter comment is a reference to Germans being racist/conservative but it seems uncomfortably close.
posted by sweetkid at 8:22 PM on July 8


Well, this is awkward...
posted by Pink Frost at 8:29 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


Not saying that Ann Coulter comment is a reference to Germans being racist/conservative but it seems uncomfortably close. yeeeeah. . . I apologize. I was sports-unhappy and what I sad was in very bad taste.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 8:48 PM on July 8 [4 favorites]


Can somebody draw me a mockup of an English fan comforting a Brazilian fan, while saying something like, "There, there, it gets better."
posted by Thing at 8:49 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


Thank god Germany didn't play the US in a game that mattered.
posted by Brocktoon at 9:02 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]


I think this will be known as the Mineiraço, or maybe The Great Bratwurst of 2014
posted by Tom-B at 9:08 PM on July 8


This is why it is important to approach your sports teams with low expectations. Americans feel like they won the world cup, even though we barely escaped the group stage.
posted by humanfont at 9:41 PM on July 8 [10 favorites]


One thing that's really struck me though is how much people on social media seem to think Germany hasn't moved on from WWII/Nazis/eugenics fandom. Though there are racists everywhere, Germans are some of the most progressive people I've ever met.

In fact, Germany has largely resisted the far-right delirium sweeping through the rest of Europe, and their national team is a microcosm of the modern, multicultural Germany. But reason doesn't usually fit inside 140 characters or make for a cliche retweetable joke.
posted by Errant at 11:59 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]


Also, TheTingTangTong, you're a class act, and I am genuinely sorry that you're going through this. After the gritty 2-1 loss to Belgium, I said to friends that it's probably better for the USA to go out on that note, having just missed and with clear areas to work on, than to sneak a win and get butchered by Argentina in the next round. That's sort of how I'm feeling about Brazil right now.

Dropping a close one to Chile or Colombia would have been heartbreaking, but there's something to build on in that situation. I don't know how you build on this except to revamp the entire national process, because with the exception of a few minutes in the second half, not one of the 14 players justified their selection. Much like France, I think the soul-searching will be an extended process.
posted by Errant at 12:14 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


For example, the "Holland" entry in the style guide of The Guardian and The Observer newspapers states: "Do not use when you mean the Netherlands (of which it is a region), with the exception of the Dutch football team, which is conventionally known as Holland".[7] The Times style guide states "use the Netherlands ... for all contexts except sports teams, historical uses, or when referring to the provinces of North and South Holland"

Well, Guardian and Observer newspapers, I'm still offended if you use Holland instead of the Netherlands. I don't live in Holland, I live in the Netherlands, and my football team is from the Netherlands not from Holland.
posted by Pendragon at 12:16 AM on July 9


So, will Brazilians root for Argentina now for the sake of South American pride, or does the rivalry eclipse that sentiment?
posted by Gyan at 12:39 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Argentina winning the World Cup in the Maracana is probably the worst scenario a Brazilian can dream up that doesn't involve Fred as a lone forward.
posted by Errant at 12:51 AM on July 9 [7 favorites]


This Anti-Gambling Campaign May Turn Into The Best Promotion For Gambling Ever
posted by cendawanita at 1:13 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]


should I warn for the Singaporean accent? Anyway, it's from the Singapore National Council on Problem Gambling.
posted by cendawanita at 1:20 AM on July 9


Pendragon: "I'm still offended if you use Holland instead of the Netherlands. I don't live in Holland, I live in the Netherlands, and my football team is from the Netherlands not from Holland."
So, we can assume you're not one of the millions of Dutchies with a "Hup Holland Hup" sticker/streamer/banner/scarf? That are also displayed everywhere in the non-Holland provinces?
posted by brokkr at 2:57 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Thank god Germany didn't play the US in a game that mattered.

That game did matter, had Germany lost there was an outside chance of them not making the next round. Once they got up, they played to keep the lead not to score, but I don't think the issue in the game was that it wasn't as important. Brazil collapsed utterly in a way that really hasn't been seen before.
posted by cell divide at 3:13 AM on July 9


I still can't believe I watched that. Honestly, when it went to one nil, Brazil had been so bad that I couldn't see how they could get back in to it, and I thought Germany might win by 3 goals - but surely Scolari/Brazil would do something and Brazil would offer some resistance; but no, as cell divide (above) says, Brazil collapsed utterly. Honestly, when the score was suddenly 3-0 didn't it feel like it was going to be 10 or 12, Brazil were a shambles and it suddenly did look like they had turned into (as the jokers had it last night) West Ham?
posted by marienbad at 3:43 AM on July 9


The headline on one of Brazil's newspapers:

"Breakdown. Grief. Fiasco. Shame."
posted by colie at 4:26 AM on July 9


I'm going to have to re-watch that first half because it was so incredible. During that goal barrage starting with the second goal, at times I wondered if the Germans were kicking the ball after the ref had stopped play, the way the Brazilian players appeared to stand still while the Germans just went around them. Or if they were showing me a replay of a previous goal, because who scores just 1 minute after a previous goal, in a World Cup semi-final match, against Brazil?
posted by needled at 4:32 AM on July 9 [4 favorites]


Man, I'm dying to hear some of the silly "GOOOOOOOOOOALLLL" commentary from last night.
posted by gnuhavenpier at 5:27 AM on July 9


Honestly, when the score was suddenly 3-0 didn't it feel like it was going to be 10 or 12, Brazil were a shambles and it suddenly did look like they had turned into (as the jokers had it last night) West Ham?

I was at the pool bar watching the first half, before I had to get on the Sad Bus to the airport.

People would walk up and ask the score, and it was "2-0 Germany….oops, now 3-0". Next person: "3-0 Germany." "Really?" "Yeah…actually, no, now it's 4-0." Next person: "It's 4-0 Germany." "You're kidding, right?" "Nope, look, it's 4….5. 5-0."

Seriously. I was sitting next to a Brit, Everton fan, and we went from amused to dumbstruck. That just doesn't happen, right?

Man, I'm dying to hear some of the silly "GOOOOOOOOOOALLLL" commentary from last night.

1: GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL!
2: GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL!
3: GOOOOALLLLL!!
4: GOAL?
5: goal.
6: (snoring sounds)
7: (silence)
posted by eriko at 6:05 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


You're joking, but I really do want to hear a supercut of Brazil Globo's or Univision's announcers' shouting out each GOOOOOOAAAALLLL!, starting with goal 1 through goal 8.

I'm betting it'll be a complex range of emotions.
posted by ardgedee at 6:09 AM on July 9


A quick multilingual lesson in how to say "fiasco" at a sporting event.
posted by ardgedee at 6:12 AM on July 9


> You're joking, but I really do want to hear a supercut of Brazil Globo's or Univision's announcers' shouting out each GOOOOOOAAAALLLL!, starting with goal 1 through goal 8.

I was watching Univision, and I assure you they shouted with undiminished enthusiasm. I seriously doubt that was the case on Globo.
posted by languagehat at 6:24 AM on July 9


More tabloids' front pages
posted by ardgedee at 6:26 AM on July 9


I watched the post mortem on German tv last night. True to stereotype, the Germans really are very good at explaining why their way of doing things is superior!
posted by Omnomnom at 6:39 AM on July 9


We are just a few short days away from the most important part of the entire tourmanent - the part where Angela Merkel gets to hug Basti.

i am excite
posted by elizardbits at 6:52 AM on July 9


Ardgedee, this isn't exactly what you're looking for, its the entire GloboTV audio, but the goals are at:
20:40
32:24 (at 33' the announcer notes 'fans are starting to cry')
34:13 ('the Brazilian team has totally lost control of the game')
35:24 ('the kid's tears!') - (at 38''honestly, I don't think Scolari's selection is that good')
39:00 (still get a 'goooouuu')
1:34:58 (still get a warbley 'gou', it honestly sounds like he might be near tears, plenty of booing from the crowd)
Just warning you, this next one is hard. It comes at 1:44:47, and I am not sure how to describe the announcer's reaction, though he eventually chokes out a short 'gouu.' He notes that the crowd (Brazilians) are cheering for Germany. He sounds bewildered, 'it's not possible, I don't believe it.'

You then get some serious on-point discussion about how the German's are playing well and how the Brazilian team is not what it should be. At this point in the game I just wondered how the selecao managed to keep playing. Listening to this, I wonder how the announcer manages to keep calling the game. Finally, at 1:56:15 the Brazilians score, and that might be the hardest 'gou' of all to listen to.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 7:40 AM on July 9 [13 favorites]


the Germans really are very good at explaining why their way of doing things is superior!

I spent a month or so in Germany about twenty years ago and came away from it pretty impressed, thinking, yeah, Germany really should run the world, they just shouldn't rule it.
posted by philip-random at 7:40 AM on July 9


Thank you TheTingTangTong. That's made my afternoon!
posted by gnuhavenpier at 7:46 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


More tabloids' front pages

That Metro one should win an award.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:17 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]


What does Salsichaço mean, from the slideshow linked above? Google translate is not helping.
posted by desjardins at 8:22 AM on July 9


"'Salsichaço' is a blend of the word "Salsicha", wich means Sausage (a stereotypical reference to German cousine [sic]), and "Maracanaço" which is the name of the defeat against Uruguay in the 1950 WC."
posted by Phatty Lumpkin at 8:27 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


I was watching the game on Globo yesterday, and I have to agree, that "gou" (it's spelled "gol" but that's how the "l" at the end of a word ends up sounding in Brazilian Portuguese) for Oscar's goal was really hard to listen to. There's a kind of "What's the point"-ness to it. Frankly the announcer sounded more excited about a possible 8th German goal just minutes before.
posted by needled at 8:37 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


via Reddit (?!): This sad Brazilian fan was shown crying. But no one's published this beautiful picture of him handing the trophy to a German fan. He was quoted as saying "Take it to the final! As you can see, it is not easy, but you deserve it, congratulations."
posted by wensink at 8:58 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]


Whoa! The "sad Brazilian fan" is Clovis Fernandez, who has brought his replica trophy to all of Brazil's World Cup games since 1990. "Cafu has played 150 games for Brazil. I've played 146. And we have another seven to play, including the final." FIFA filmed a profile of Clovis in April.
posted by wensink at 9:18 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Man, I'm dying to hear some of the silly "GOOOOOOOOOOALLLL" commentary from last night.

Goaaallllllllllllllll
posted by MartinWisse at 9:20 AM on July 9


Suggested cover image for Rio's alt weekly.
posted by wensink at 10:34 AM on July 9


Is this going to be the Argentina thread too?
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 10:43 AM on July 9


Yes, surely, it's only 500 comments or so isn't it?
posted by elizardbits at 10:45 AM on July 9


also someone tried to post a new one earlier today and it was deleted
posted by elizardbits at 10:46 AM on July 9


There may not be any goals left in this thread!
posted by eriko at 10:46 AM on July 9


> Is this going to be the Argentina thread too?

Yeah, no point pissing off the mods when we don't need to. We can do this with the materials at hand!
posted by languagehat at 10:55 AM on July 9


Help me decide! Should I try watching the Argentina game on Globo or an English-language feed?

Globo pro: getting to hear (and see) reactions to yesterday's shellacking, and reactions to Argentina's playing, especially if they play well
Globo con: shaky feed, sometimes goes really lo-res, sometimes falls minutes behind what's on TV and not on the internets, cannot watch with mr. needled
posted by needled at 10:55 AM on July 9


I'm all in favor of a new thread. This one ate at least two of my comments. But I think a FPP has to be more than "this is/was the game". I think a rich FPP would stand, if anyone wants to build one.
posted by travelwithcats at 10:59 AM on July 9


And then what are we going to do about the third-place game and the final? I guarantee the mods aren't going to allow three new posts just so we can have fresh sandboxes to play in.
posted by languagehat at 11:07 AM on July 9


I don't know languagehat. We seem to be good at self regulating. We have one thread a day that requires no moderation.

In absence of other guidance, I'm thinking the mods are just turning a blind eye to something that's low nuisance for them and high enjoyment for a group of users.

It was sort of lost in this thread (and it would get lost in a game day post too!) but I thought adamvasco's topic would be a good FFP. I was interested in those articles and would have commented on them had things gone differently.
posted by 26.2 at 11:12 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Well, if the angle is right and the match of the day not the main focus, I believe it would go over just fine. But I agree that we can comment on today's match here and then get another big FPP for the final. Not sure where to put the third-place game.
Also biffa mentioned yesterday in the other thread that they asked the mods about the possibility to have a post per match on FanFare and that the issue was bumped up to mathowie, but I am not sure if there was any progress yet.
posted by travelwithcats at 11:14 AM on July 9


I started a new thread earlier today about Brazil and 'the greatest shame in history' that got deleted, so I'm in favour of a new one anyway.

Last night's game was the biggest football story of the last 20 years or so, by far, and there's not always time to do a 'proper' FPP with additional background etc.
posted by colie at 11:16 AM on July 9


I think this thread for the semifinals and one more for the 3rd place/final is probably the best balance between what we want and what MetaFilter is; the mods are being very nice to let us have multiple threads a week on essentially the same subject, no matter the framing, but that isn't usually how this place works.
posted by Errant at 11:17 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Oops.
posted by ardgedee at 11:17 AM on July 9


> the mods are being very nice to let us have multiple threads a week on essentially the same subject, no matter the framing, but that isn't usually how this place works.

Yup.

> I started a new thread earlier today about Brazil and 'the greatest shame in history' that got deleted

QED.
posted by languagehat at 11:18 AM on July 9


OKAY EVERYONE STOP COMMENTING UNTIL THE GAME STARTS SO THE THREAD DOESNT GET TOO BIG TOO SOON

yes even me
posted by elizardbits at 11:18 AM on July 9


I agree with 26.2 that adamvasco's links were very interesting, and were I to make another FPP this would be the direction I'd take. I know many people love the happy fun soccer, but the other aspects are highly interesting as well.
posted by travelwithcats at 11:19 AM on July 9


Not mine, but pretty good.
posted by Danf at 11:25 AM on July 9


I volunteer to make an FPP with adamvasco's links and reactions to Brazil's 7-1 loss - should it go up on Saturday?
posted by needled at 11:26 AM on July 9


For Saturday's game they should just throw 11 empty Neymar shirts on the pitch and see how they do.

Fred surely will not play, since a hail of missiles would rain down on him continuously like Olaf's personal snow cloud in 'Frozen.'
posted by colie at 11:35 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Wait until the final and do a World Cup FInal 2014 post. Last time I did one for the QFs and one for the Final itself, but we weren't liveblogging the games back then and they both stayed up.
posted by marienbad at 11:43 AM on July 9


I have some more links (or at least material) needled. The first one is an excellent open letter, the second an event that hopefully shows the protests aren't dead. There is also a wealth of material from actual people on the ground in the acorda brasil link.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 11:52 AM on July 9


The first link just goes to mefi recent activity, can you try again?
posted by desjardins at 11:53 AM on July 9


Oh, and maybe this, for which the media should be gnashing their teeth and crying but aren't.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 11:54 AM on July 9


retry Oh, and I just realized that since this is all in Portuguese it needs to be translated. I will do it, but I need to go to work soon, so if any one else wants to that's cool too.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 12:01 PM on July 9


Also don't forget chat, for a more ethereal commenting experience.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 12:06 PM on July 9


Pornhub pleads with users to stop uploading soccer videos.
posted by frimble at 12:11 PM on July 9


via The Guardian's live blog: "Robin Van Persie starts for Holland, despite those rumoured stomach problems, while Nigel de Jong, who strained his groin muscle in the second round against Mexico, returns to replace striker Memphis Depay. Argentina meanwhile make two expected changes: Enzo Perez comes in to replace the injured Angel Di Maria while Marcos Rojo takes the place of Jose Basanta."
posted by wensink at 12:14 PM on July 9


So we're on high alert for karate kicks then, are we?
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:35 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Willing to root for the team that has the best shot at beating Germany in the final. NED or ARG?
posted by wensink at 12:37 PM on July 9


Germany fears NED much more than ARG.
posted by Dumsnill at 12:38 PM on July 9


Just waiting for the ITV player to get through the obligatory 2 minutes of adverts it forces you to watch when you start it, even it a game is in progress. So last night, if you had switched on at the wrong time, you could have missed 2 Germany goals! Nice one ITV.
posted by marienbad at 12:45 PM on July 9


Germany fears NED much more than ARG.

wat
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 12:47 PM on July 9


Root for Argentina, wensink. No one but the Dutch roots for Holland/Hollande/Netherlands. And people complain about the UK!

Also, Nigel de Jong plays for Holland/Hollande/Netherlands, so there's that.

Whose Golden boot is it do people think? Will James hold on despite going home?

What about Golden Ball - player of the tournament (if you had to choose now)

(I think I'll just abbreviate it to HHN.)
posted by marienbad at 12:48 PM on July 9


German team's Tweet to Brazil
posted by kmz at 12:52 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Oh hey, I'm actually getting HD on Globo today. And all the Brazil in the World Cup adverts have disappeared. No sighting so far of that Sadia ad showing all those children saying how they haven't seen a World Cup win in their lifetimes. Not yet kids, not yet.
posted by needled at 12:52 PM on July 9


Go, Netherlands!!!
posted by Pendragon at 12:54 PM on July 9


I hissed at a total stranger in an orange shirt this morning, who clearly had no idea what I was on about. SIR I APOLOGIZE, YOU WERE INNOCENT OF WRONGDOING.
posted by elizardbits at 12:55 PM on July 9 [3 favorites]


¡Dale pibe, dale Argentina!
posted by languagehat at 12:55 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


And everyone who roots for Argentina, I understand, it's just a football match. Let's have a great game.
posted by Pendragon at 12:56 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Ahh, the dulcet tones of Univision. How I've missed you....
posted by eriko at 12:56 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


wat

From reading German blogs and newspapers I got the impression that they'd rather meet Argentina in the finals (as in ARG would be easier to beat) than the Netherlands. But I might be wrong. Pretty random selection.
posted by Dumsnill at 12:56 PM on July 9


Globo provides subtitles for the national anthems. Are the words for the Dutch anthem for reals? "i am William Prince of Holland ... something about the King of Spain etc. etc."
posted by needled at 12:57 PM on July 9


Yes, we praise the King of Spain in our anthem, and William of Orange is of German blood. It's complicated.
posted by Pendragon at 12:58 PM on July 9


So many South American countries have national anthems that sound like Mozart overtures, I love it.
posted by elizardbits at 12:59 PM on July 9


Whose Golden boot is it do people think? Will James hold on despite going home?

Muller's going to score in the final, so probably him.

What about Golden Ball - player of the tournament (if you had to choose now)

My player of the tournament is James, but the Golden Ball pretty much always goes to someone on the winning team, so I'd guess Lahm, Messi, or Robben.
posted by Errant at 12:59 PM on July 9


I have a plane to board in 2hrs so no penalty kicks please.
posted by shothotbot at 12:59 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Yeah, they're all intermarried anyway, you can tell by the chins or lack thereof.
posted by elizardbits at 12:59 PM on July 9


I root for the Netherlands. Go, Netherlands!
posted by ersatz at 1:00 PM on July 9


I'm calling them Holanda, because Univision!

Goalies?
posted by eriko at 1:00 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


From reading German blogs and newspapers I got the impression that they'd rather meet Argentina in the finals (as in ARG would be easier to beat) than the Netherlands. But I might be wrong. Pretty random selection.

I wouldn't rule out the notion that Germany just wants to see the Netherlands lose as soon as possible, because they always want that.
posted by Errant at 1:00 PM on July 9


> Are the words for the Dutch anthem for reals? "i am William Prince of Holland ... something about the King of Spain etc. etc."

Yup, that's the Wilhelmus! It's one of the odder national anthems ("To the king of Spain I've granted/ A lifelong loyalty"?!), but a great tune.
posted by languagehat at 1:00 PM on July 9


That's it, I'm rooting for ARG and the wee #10. Sorry, NED. And the balding #10.
posted by wensink at 1:00 PM on July 9


Glad they finally had a moment of silence for Di Stefano...
posted by TwoStride at 1:00 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


PEEP!
posted by eriko at 1:01 PM on July 9


Okay I finished, though if a native speaker would look it over that would be very cool:

An open letter from Federal Congressman Romano:

Friends,

Since we're past the struggle of the first hours following the creaming, let's get to what is truly interesting. Those with good memories will remember my saying: off the pitch, we're being thrashed at the World Cup.

Unfortunately, on the pitch, it wasn't any different.

Yesterday was a very sad day for Brazilian soccer. The best one and for several years no one will be able to question the superiority of German soccer. Still, the world watched the blowed perplexed, because not even Germany, in its wildest dreams, could have imagined this historic victory.

Yet, if you go back further in your memory, you'll remember that our team has not showed our best soccer for quite a quile. We play very badly. Unfortunately, we let seven through, and as bad as that makes can make one feel, we should admit that the rain of gols was simply a reflexion of panic, of our player's incapacity to react and the lack of the coach's attitude to change the team.

We are living a crisis of our most loved sport, we have come to a peak. Do you think it's just the player's and Scolari's problem? Not even close.

Our soccer has been going downhill for years, being sucked dry by moguls who don't even have enough talent to manage a 'kick-up' (soccer term). They stay in their luxury boxes toasting the millions that go into their accounts. A bunch of corrupt thieves and gangsters!

My feeling is one of revolt.

For four years I've been preaching in the wilderness about the Brazilian Football Confederation (BFC)'s problems, a corrupt institution managing a high market-value patrimony, using our hymn, our flag, our colors, and most importantly, our human material, our players. Because, don't fool yourself, soccer is a business and entertainment, and moves rivers of money. I never had the support of our country's President, Dilma Rousseff, or of our Minister of Sports, Aldo Rebelo. Let everyone know: I already asked several times for a political intervention by the Federal Government in our soccer.

In 2012, I presented a request for a Parliamentary Investigation Commission (PIC) into the BFC, based on a series of scandals involving that entity, such as the illegal renriching of managers, corruption, tax evasion, money laundering and rent-seeking sponsorshop by the Air Company TAM. The request has been in some drawer in Brasilia for two years. QUestioning the president of the Chamber of Deputies, Mr. Henrique Eduardo Alves, I heard in response that this was not the best time to start this PIC. I did not agree, but respected the decision. And now, Madam President, is it time?

Aside from a fiasco such as yesterday's, Brazil need not be ashamed of defeat on the pitch, after all, defeats are part of the game. But it is precisely shame that we should feel having one of the most corrupt soccer managing bodies on Earth. The arrogance of this body is so large that even the head of the press office came to the absurd point of hitting another team's player, as did Rodrigo Paiva against the Chilean player Pinilla. Paivo got suspended for four games and was barred from the player's dressing room. This act was very symbolic and says much about them. The president of the body, José Maria Marin, is a thief of medals, of energy, of public land, and a supporter of the dictatorship. Marco Polo Del Nero, his current chief-of-staff, was recently held, investigated, and indicted by the Federal Police for possible crimes against the financial system, corruption, and forming gangs. These are the people who manage our soccer. Want an even larger shame?

Marin e Del Nero had to be were in jail (the original Portuguese is strange here, any comments?)! Band of crooks!

The BFC's corruption has roots in every Brazilian club, it's worth remembering that it's the federations and clubs who years ago elected the same group of gangsters, with the with the same archaic and corrupt management methods implemented by Joao Havelange and Ricardo Teixeira and maintained by Marin and Del Nero. It is worth remembering that the latter two have changed the status of the entity and moved the BFC election to before the World Cup. Already anticipating a possible defeat and the difficulty they would have remaining in power with in a negative light.

And the clubs? Yes, they are also responsible for this crisis. Fraudulent management, lack of investment in basic training for the athletes. Major Brazilian clubs are failing drowned in debt with banks and billionaires not paying taxes such as Social Security, federal income, and FGTS

And all this mismanagement that has destroyed our soccer, unfortunately, has been supported for years by the National Congress with amnesties and further forgiveness for these debts. This year we had one more project by these villains to save the clubs. A bill requiring that clubs pay only 10% of their debts and invest the remaining 90% in training athletes. It almost seems like debauchery. A sum of approximately U.S. $ 4 billion or more, no one knows for sure. Bravely, Mr. Octavian Milk, rewrote the text and presented an honest proposal structured with tax liability, installment debts and the creation of a fund for initiation into sports, with clear obligations for clubs and the BFC.

In summary, the new proposal, in addition to building the Brazilian National Team and Brazilian Soccer as Intangible Cultural Heritage - obligated the BFC to contribute at a rate of 5% of revenue of marketed products and services from the a Representation of Brazilian Soccer at the national and international levels. The tribute also charged on sponsorship, sale of rights to broadcast images of games for the Brazilian team, sales rights in friendlies or tournaments for others, the box office friendly matches and royalties on licensed products. The amount would be allocated for a fund for sports initiation of children and young people from all over Brazil. These and other articles would give responsibility to the BFC, punishment for the entities and other managers in soccer, the BFC would be subject to surveillance TCU and forced to participate in a decision making council of athletes .

But unfortunately this text was not straight-forward. Seven German MPs scored the goals that disqualified our soccer and took from us the chance to bring morals into our sport. These deputies, as everyone knows, are part of the Bench of the BFC, I changed the name because Countertop Ball is very derogatory to something we love so much. I'd like to give names: Rodrigo Maia (DEM-RJ), Guilherme Campos (SP-PSD), Arnaldo Faria de Sá (PTB-SP), José Rocha (PR-BA), Vicente Cândido (PT-SP), Jovair Arantes (PTB-GO) and Valdivino de Oliveira (PSDB-GO).

This game can still be turned around with the vote on the bill on the House floor. Will these seven Members again hurt our Soccer?

Brazilian soccer was creamed and the resounding defeat, unfortunately, was not only on the field. Even if we had the pleasure of playing at the Maracana, a temple in world soccer, renovated at a cost of over U.S. $ 1 billion. Think it was because we did not reach the final? No. We could have played any other game there. The answer is greed and arrogance. The BFC is choosing where Brazil will play, but obviously could have had interference from the Ministry of Sports and the Presidency of the Republic, but none of these have emerged. Who made these decisions?

To close with a golden key (I do not know this expression?), the BFC expelled Cafu from the locker room, the captain of the team which one our fifth Cup. Cafu was expelled from the locker room as he greeted the players yesterday. This is the picture of our football today, we do not honor our history.

Dilma does have to hand the cup to another team. This gesture will be the portrait she gave to our soccer in our time! They will take the cup and we will be with our overpriced stadiums and no material legacy, because immaterial, we showed the world that with all our difficulties, we are a happy people.

This is the cup of shame.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 1:02 PM on July 9 [6 favorites]


19 Celsius in São Paulo, so it should be a comfortable temperature for both teams.
posted by needled at 1:02 PM on July 9


("To the king of Spain I've granted/ A lifelong loyalty"?!)

no weirder than a shout-out in rap songs really
posted by elizardbits at 1:02 PM on July 9


Univision put today's match behind a paywall. I am disappoint.

Enjoy the game, my friends. I guess I must hie myself to the gym to watch it.
posted by winna at 1:04 PM on July 9


I dug up my mate gourd and Boca scarf to bring into the office - we've got a guy with vague Dutch ancestry as opposition. Plus, how can you not love the little magician? Unfortunately, I'm at the doctor's;I didn't check the schedule when I made the appointment two months ago. :(
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 1:06 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Cab driver has put the game on in Spanish so at least I'll know when to update the MBM to find out who scored
posted by shothotbot at 1:07 PM on July 9


I'm rooting for ARG, but I have a feeling NED might win this one.
posted by travelwithcats at 1:08 PM on July 9


For those who don't know, the Federal Congressman who wrote that letter is Romario, World Cup, Golden Ball, and World Player of the Year winner with Brazil in 1994, who has been a staunch critic of this Brazilian World Cup since the beginning.
posted by Errant at 1:08 PM on July 9 [3 favorites]


Unsurprisingly, after last night, but this is a nervy game.
posted by marienbad at 1:09 PM on July 9


Apparently, we're playing Hack-a-Messi.
posted by eriko at 1:09 PM on July 9


I AM VERY TENSE and also have no ice creams.
posted by elizardbits at 1:10 PM on July 9


Argentina is moving rather slow.
posted by eriko at 1:10 PM on July 9


This isn't going to be a 7-1 game.
posted by Pendragon at 1:11 PM on July 9


Also I am trying to make sure that approximately 700k worth of grant funding goes in 52 different correct envelopes and there is just no way this cannot end badly.
posted by elizardbits at 1:11 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


I also have no ice cream! How can this be? Oh mr. needled reminds me we have vanilla ice cream. I don't think that counts since it is not mint chocolate chip.
posted by needled at 1:12 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


> Argentina is moving rather slow.

Also I'm worried about their defense. Please god don't let it fall apart like Brazil's. NED is a great team and they're going to need to be at the top of their game to beat them.
posted by languagehat at 1:12 PM on July 9


If I'm really honest, I'm not going to be sad if Netherlands loses this game. I didn't think they had a change to leave the group stage.
posted by Pendragon at 1:12 PM on July 9


Thanks for the translation, TheTingTangTong. Please forgive me for not reading it for a couple hours, though. I'm sure you understand.
posted by ardgedee at 1:13 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


I should be debugging this python script while watching this game, as each run takes approximately 25 minutes.
posted by needled at 1:13 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Loving the orange paper streamers on the pitch, appropriately old school. Needs more though.

Think I'm cheering for NED here on the grounds that they've never won the thing. Plus GER-NED would be fun and would mean the Europeans breaking their South American winless streak.

(But now I have to go to work; who schedules a team meeting during the football?)
posted by Pink Frost at 1:13 PM on July 9


That was a horrible clearance, and Argentina almost paid for it.
posted by eriko at 1:13 PM on July 9


OK, so what unusual substitution will Van Gaal make toady?

Great tackle by masch, poor clearance.
posted by marienbad at 1:13 PM on July 9


Come on Messi...
posted by marienbad at 1:14 PM on July 9


Poor call by the ref.
posted by Pendragon at 1:15 PM on July 9


TheTingTangTong, thanks for the translation!
posted by needled at 1:15 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


This looks a completely different Argentina from the other day. Peaking at the right time?
posted by marienbad at 1:17 PM on July 9


Yup, that's the Wilhelmus! It's one of the odder national anthems ("To the king of Spain I've granted/ A lifelong loyalty"?!), but a great tune.

It's not odd, it's just in a different genre from most other anthems, as it was not written for the country, but as an apologia for one man and his decision to rebel against his rightful king.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:18 PM on July 9


"É força! É jeito! É Messi!"
... and he misses the penalty kick.

Globo announcers are back to usual form, talking non-stop.
posted by needled at 1:18 PM on July 9


So the goalies... any suggestions for names?
posted by travelwithcats at 1:18 PM on July 9


> It's not odd, it's just in a different genre from most other anthems, as it was not written for the country, but as an apologia for one man and his decision to rebel against his rightful king.

Which... makes it an odd anthem.
posted by languagehat at 1:19 PM on July 9


If I'm really honest, I'm not going to be sad if Netherlands loses this game. I didn't think they had a change to leave the group stage.

Rationally this is true, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I want us to win this thing for once.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:19 PM on July 9


uh so there's no free video stream anywhere huh? The globo site does not like my region.
posted by desjardins at 1:19 PM on July 9


Lame corner is lame. Lame shot from distance is lame. Lame clearance is lame.
posted by eriko at 1:20 PM on July 9


I know I'm a little bit of a neatfreak, so the orange confetti/detritus the NED fans have strewn on their goalie's end of the pitch is driving me nuts.
posted by TwoStride at 1:20 PM on July 9 [4 favorites]


Try atdhe.sx, desjardins. Possibly infested site though.
posted by travelwithcats at 1:20 PM on July 9


firefox and media hint add on.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:20 PM on July 9


atdhe.sx for free streams. God peoplle are going to think I work for them ffs!
posted by marienbad at 1:21 PM on July 9


Question from a World Cup novice - is the orange paper ever getting taken off the field? What's the protocol for fan-thrown detritus?
posted by lookoutbelow at 1:22 PM on July 9


Less lame corner is less lame but well defended.

Argentina is starting to come alive here.
posted by eriko at 1:22 PM on July 9


Goalie names? We should call one Fred, in honour of the great mans fantastic performance last night. The other could be Hulk for the same reason.
posted by marienbad at 1:22 PM on July 9


Yeah corners not working out really
posted by marienbad at 1:22 PM on July 9


So Dutch one is Hulk and Argentinian one is Fred, since I haven't seen him at all since the beginning of the game?
posted by needled at 1:23 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


How 'bout a good corner, please.
posted by TwoStride at 1:24 PM on July 9


Perez! Put a little mustard on that and Messi scores!
posted by eriko at 1:24 PM on July 9


Sigh.
posted by TwoStride at 1:25 PM on July 9


Lavezzi is a problem for the Dutch, he is quicker than Bruno Martens Indi and Blind.
posted by Pendragon at 1:25 PM on July 9


Well, clearly, the Green one would be Hulk, right?
posted by eriko at 1:25 PM on July 9


Lavezzi reminds me of Kevin Kline in A Fish Called Wanda. I'm going to think of him as Otto.
posted by languagehat at 1:25 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


> What's the protocol for fan-thrown detritus?

I don't know that the actual rule is, but what I've usually seen is that crap stays on the field unless it interferes with play (eg, dogs, streakers, beachballs, bottles...)

Paper doesn't interfere with anything or trip anybody.
posted by ardgedee at 1:25 PM on July 9


> Well, clearly, the Green one would be Hulk, right?

Sure, man, if you want to jinx Netherlands.
posted by ardgedee at 1:26 PM on July 9


please don't mention the beachball, im still not over it.
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on July 9


Shit, I hope Mascherano isn't badly hurt.
posted by languagehat at 1:28 PM on July 9


Please not masch injured.
posted by marienbad at 1:28 PM on July 9


puppy pitch invasions are delightful though
posted by elizardbits at 1:28 PM on July 9


Oof, Mascherano. I hope he's OK! You could see his eyes rolling back in his head as he was coming down from the jump.
posted by ardgedee at 1:28 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


I don't like the way he collapsed. You've got to get him off -- that screams concussion.
posted by eriko at 1:28 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


his eyes are having trouble focusing, argh
posted by elizardbits at 1:29 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


That shit ain't right, guy should take a breather that lasts longer than ten breaths
posted by From Bklyn at 1:31 PM on July 9


Seems to be ok but not great.
posted by leslies at 1:32 PM on July 9


Good call from the linesman, offside.
posted by Pendragon at 1:33 PM on July 9


Oh, look, Holland offside!
posted by eriko at 1:33 PM on July 9


offsides was something we learned as children, Mr. vanPersie.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:33 PM on July 9


no way
posted by marienbad at 1:34 PM on July 9


Oh, look, Argentina offside!
posted by Pendragon at 1:34 PM on July 9


Oh, look, Messi offside!

(That was an odd sequence though)
posted by eriko at 1:34 PM on July 9


who is this ref and should i have any preconceived notions of his competence
posted by elizardbits at 1:35 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Oh, look, Argentina offside, and that wasn't an odd sequence.
posted by eriko at 1:36 PM on July 9


Referee: Cuneyt Cakir (Turkey)
posted by ardgedee at 1:37 PM on July 9


If you're watching ESPN, the Dennis Bergkamp goal they keep referring to is this one, and it's phenomenal. Bonus: one of the best commentaries ever, if that's what you want to call it.
posted by Errant at 1:37 PM on July 9


Really good ref - how refreshing.
posted by leslies at 1:37 PM on July 9


Wow, that should have been a yellow card!
posted by Pendragon at 1:37 PM on July 9


Also what happens when the tech people who do the instant replays with the offside bit highlighted have to go have a wee.
posted by elizardbits at 1:37 PM on July 9


And because he is Turkish, quite used to pressure cooker games, as the derbies there are madness.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:38 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


no it shouldn't
posted by marienbad at 1:38 PM on July 9


The funny think is I think Sneidjer injured his leg embellishing the foul. It was a foul.
posted by eriko at 1:39 PM on July 9


That was clearly a yellow card foul on Sneijder.
posted by Pendragon at 1:39 PM on July 9


Magic spray!
posted by joedan at 1:40 PM on July 9


I'm worried that the absolute insanity of yesterday's match has forever ruined me for normal matches.
posted by TwoStride at 1:41 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Nice mild weather for this match at least, no one likely to look like an old dishrag by the half.
posted by elizardbits at 1:42 PM on July 9


Yeesh I'm typing in Portuguese words instead of Python in my editing window e.g. sete instead of set.
posted by needled at 1:42 PM on July 9


How many goals were there by this time yesterday? 15? 16?
posted by elizardbits at 1:42 PM on July 9


This game is getting out of hand.

Perez, you diving motherfucker, you're making me hate Argentina.
posted by eriko at 1:43 PM on July 9


Yeah, it feels really weird that the score isn't NED 0 - ARG 0 - GER 5.
posted by Errant at 1:43 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


This match is much closer than yesterday's match.
posted by Pendragon at 1:43 PM on July 9


How many goals were there by this time yesterday? 15? 16?

A Brazillion
posted by IanMorr at 1:44 PM on July 9 [3 favorites]


My personal proximity to Charlize Theron is closer than yesterday's match.
posted by Errant at 1:45 PM on July 9


Come on Messi... dammit.
posted by languagehat at 1:46 PM on July 9


Holland's goalie has swagger.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:46 PM on July 9


gotta say that seemed a bit bullshit for a yellow card compared to others not given
posted by elizardbits at 1:46 PM on July 9


Everytime Univision says "Blind" it sounds like "Bling" and I am confused.
posted by eriko at 1:47 PM on July 9


Card was for persistent stuff more than that particular foul.
posted by leslies at 1:48 PM on July 9


Peep PEEEP! Medio Tiempo!
posted by eriko at 1:48 PM on July 9


Perez, you diving motherfucker, you're making me hate Argentina.

Leave Britney Perez alone, eriko!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:49 PM on July 9


Poor cross but great pass out to him.

elizardbits - it is more the cumalative total of the fouls he has committed
posted by marienbad at 1:49 PM on July 9


That was a terrible yellow on Messi. Terrible.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:49 PM on July 9


Dreams unrealized... so far.
posted by ardgedee at 1:50 PM on July 9


Yeah, Martins Indi had been throwing his body at Messi for much of the first half, arms akimbo.

Argentina have had good shape so far. Has Robben even seen the ball since the tenth minute, aside from the occasionally allowed toe-poke out of play?
posted by dogurthr at 1:50 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Fim do primeiro tempo!
posted by needled at 1:51 PM on July 9


time to find ice creams
posted by elizardbits at 1:51 PM on July 9


ITV is currently showing a Fiat 500 commercial. The car's steering wheel is on the left. Hm.
posted by ardgedee at 1:51 PM on July 9


> Argentina have had good shape so far.

Yes, I'm cautiously optimistic. Sure looks like it's going to end up 1-0; please don't let it go into extra time...
posted by languagehat at 1:52 PM on July 9


An update on the Brazilian team! They're preparing for the third place game! Did we mention that 7-1 loss? And now let's watch happy Dutch fans!
posted by needled at 1:54 PM on July 9


And now an Argentinian fan dressed as the pope! "Messi should touch the ball more. Now let us pray."
posted by needled at 1:56 PM on July 9


okay so who has the more tremendous head, German Matt Damon or Ruud van Nistelrooy
posted by elizardbits at 1:56 PM on July 9


show all work
posted by elizardbits at 1:58 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Don't be Ruud, please.
posted by ersatz at 1:58 PM on July 9


There was an Argentina fan at a game in the WC with a giant blue inflateable hand with La mano Dos Dios on it, which made me laugh in a funny sort of way.
posted by marienbad at 1:59 PM on July 9


This is the first game that I've felt at all impressed by Argentina, number tens not included. Not the first time, however, that the Dutch have looked a little uninspired. Which is disappointing, because I'm wearing orange.

The difference today might be that the Netherlands' best playmakers need more space to work with than Argentina's best playmaker does, and they might not be afforded it.
posted by dogurthr at 2:02 PM on July 9


Messi without Di Maria is just not the same.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:03 PM on July 9


I bet Higuain misses the Holy Images lining the tunnel in Napoli.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:05 PM on July 9


And NED starts the second half with a foul.
posted by needled at 2:06 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Every time they show the NED coach I am afraid I will get scolded.
posted by shothotbot at 2:06 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Deserved yellow for Demichelis.
posted by languagehat at 2:08 PM on July 9


Demichelis! WTF? Robben didn't even need to dive on that.
posted by eriko at 2:08 PM on July 9


The fuck was that, Demechelis. That's bullshit as it is, but don't do it to the man who could parlay a mosquito bite into an opponent's yellow card.
posted by ardgedee at 2:08 PM on July 9


a bit wild from sneijder
posted by marienbad at 2:09 PM on July 9


But it was funny to see him waving his arms about like one of those windsock figurines.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:09 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


"Robben fell with style."
posted by needled at 2:09 PM on July 9


espn feed froze on robben soaring through the air, very amusing
posted by elizardbits at 2:09 PM on July 9


for a split second there...
posted by marienbad at 2:10 PM on July 9


Whoops, that almost went very wrong for Holland.
posted by eriko at 2:10 PM on July 9


Finally gave in and watching on a big projection screen at work with a bunch of other shirkers. But this is not like yesterday. Tough and nervy.
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:13 PM on July 9


Some people are never happy, huh?
posted by travelwithcats at 2:15 PM on July 9


I wonder if the Brazilian team is watching this game right now. And perhaps taking notes on how you play defense.
posted by needled at 2:16 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


So close to opening the scoring there...
posted by eriko at 2:17 PM on July 9


And now an Argentinian fan dressed as the pope!

Bah, he has NOTHING on the Colombian pot-smoking nazi pope!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:18 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


No, he in fact has nothing on the Columbian pot-smoking nazi pope.
posted by eriko at 2:19 PM on July 9


"Kuyt" should be a obscenity in some language. Just look at it.
posted by eriko at 2:20 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Is it pronounced "kite" (the way I say it in my head) or "cow-t" (the way they say it on Univision)?
posted by languagehat at 2:22 PM on July 9


Infinite Coach!
posted by eriko at 2:22 PM on July 9


Here comes the rain.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:23 PM on July 9


Looks like it just started raining at the game.
posted by ardgedee at 2:23 PM on July 9


Multi-Sabella there.

Cow-t.
posted by marienbad at 2:23 PM on July 9


ESPN: "Rain falling very heavily now... It may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation."
posted by languagehat at 2:24 PM on July 9


The "uy" in my middle name is an i, so I suspect it's "kite."
posted by eriko at 2:24 PM on July 9


HHN much more in this in the 2nd half. The change has worked to some degree
posted by marienbad at 2:25 PM on July 9


Did the ESPN guy just describe the rain as "the tears of a heartbroken nation"???
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:25 PM on July 9


This is all looking shambolic.
posted by languagehat at 2:26 PM on July 9


We have a severe storm starting within minutes of the rain starting to fall at the game. I hope they're not getting any of the hail we're predicted to receive.
posted by ardgedee at 2:27 PM on July 9


How so, 'hat?
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:27 PM on July 9


Feels like ARG are pressing a bit harder?
posted by shothotbot at 2:27 PM on July 9


> How so, hat?

Just seems like too many random passes and frantic running in circles. I don't get the feeling anybody has a master plan. (Except the Germans, of course.)
posted by languagehat at 2:29 PM on July 9


This attack is looking better, though.
posted by languagehat at 2:30 PM on July 9


I don't get the feeling anybody has a master plan. (Except the Germans, of course.)

I see what you did there.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:30 PM on July 9


I can't imagine Germany would be too upset if this went to extra time...
posted by TwoStride at 2:30 PM on July 9


This game was always going to be an anti-climax to yesterday's, but still. I mean really.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:30 PM on July 9


I want to see a goal, please.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:31 PM on July 9


Netherlands seem to me to have been the stronger team in the second half, but still not strong enough to finish anything they start.
posted by ardgedee at 2:31 PM on July 9


ugh this thread keeps crashing on reload and the view new comments thing isn't working

whyyyy
posted by elizardbits at 2:31 PM on July 9


That was messy, Messi.
posted by eriko at 2:32 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Yes, I've watched the entire world cup waiting to type that.
posted by eriko at 2:32 PM on July 9 [7 favorites]


The field is getting slick.
posted by eriko at 2:33 PM on July 9


GOAAALLLLLLLLLLLL......sides. Damn, that looked sweet.
posted by eriko at 2:34 PM on July 9


Offside
posted by Dumsnill at 2:34 PM on July 9


Whoa - thought they had that one!
posted by leslies at 2:34 PM on July 9


All this Holland / Netherlands talk makes me wonder: Anyone read a good history of the Dutch republic?
posted by shothotbot at 2:34 PM on July 9


what the fuck was that they did to messi. Also, thouht that was in for a sec.
posted by marienbad at 2:34 PM on July 9


Oh, deer!
posted by wensink at 2:35 PM on July 9


Well at least he got the ball in the penalty box for once...
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:35 PM on July 9


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:35 PM on July 9


What the Higuain!?
posted by sour cream at 2:35 PM on July 9


UGH SO CLOSE
posted by elizardbits at 2:35 PM on July 9


That was so nearly the first interesting moment of the match.
posted by dogurthr at 2:35 PM on July 9


Sabella looks like an alien disguised as a human from the movie Men in Black.

Van Gaal looks like an alien disguised as a human from the movie Mars Attacks!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:36 PM on July 9


This game is either going to be settled by a mistake or by penalties.
posted by marienbad at 2:36 PM on July 9


WHAT A BRILLANT FREE KICK!
posted by eriko at 2:36 PM on July 9


anything is better than another grotesque slaughter though
posted by elizardbits at 2:36 PM on July 9


its an up and under!!
posted by marienbad at 2:36 PM on July 9


On replay, he wasn't offsides. Bad call.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:37 PM on July 9


Although Argentina look more convincing in the back today, they remain one of the most boring sides in this Cup.

Also: that should have been a goal. Blind call. I didn't see who was tracking him, but I hope that was a pun.
posted by dogurthr at 2:38 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Instead of extra time, can we have each side play Brazil for 15 minutes?
posted by eriko at 2:38 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


yeah but overall, good reffing and linesmen tonight
posted by marienbad at 2:38 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Instead of extra time, can we have each side play Brazil for 15 minutes?

And highest score wins?
posted by leslies at 2:39 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Sabella shakes the dice, what will he throw?
posted by marienbad at 2:39 PM on July 9


Kun Agüero is so dreamy.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:40 PM on July 9


Palacios? Doesn't he play for Stoke City? ;)
posted by marienbad at 2:41 PM on July 9


Odds on this going into extra time?
posted by ardgedee at 2:41 PM on July 9


Foul throw from cowt.
posted by marienbad at 2:41 PM on July 9


And the rattail comes in.
posted by languagehat at 2:42 PM on July 9


"Friendly coexistence" is what the German TV commentator just called this game.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:42 PM on July 9


> Odds on this going into extra time?

I've been resigned to that for a while now.
posted by languagehat at 2:43 PM on July 9


Odds? About 2:1 about now
posted by marienbad at 2:43 PM on July 9


Sure, let's shoot from the suburbs. Why not?
posted by eriko at 2:43 PM on July 9


Guardian: "Pretty quiet in the stadium right now. And no wonder, this is appalling. Come back, Brazil, all is forgiven."
posted by languagehat at 2:44 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


nerves really setting in now,
posted by marienbad at 2:44 PM on July 9


I don't know if the Germans are laughing their heads off watching this or worrying that everyone will hate them.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:44 PM on July 9


Neither of these teams will be able to stand up to Germany. Pack it in boys, the tourney's over.
posted by ardgedee at 2:45 PM on July 9


Neither of these teams will be able to stand up to Germany.

When Argentina wins this match, you will be eating those words.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:46 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Neither of these teams seems to want to stand up to Germany, I'd say.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:46 PM on July 9


I'm hoping Germany is worn out by all those goals they scored.
posted by languagehat at 2:47 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


> When Argentina wins this match, you will be eating those words.

I'm not announcing the result I want, it's the result I'm resigning myself to.
posted by ardgedee at 2:48 PM on July 9


Every time Demichelis heads the ball I wince.
posted by languagehat at 2:48 PM on July 9


It's interesting: there's been talk that the Brazil match would give Germany false confidence, but I'm wondering how much it's messed with the heads of these two teams instead?
posted by TwoStride at 2:48 PM on July 9


tired out by all that candy they took from a baby? not likely.
posted by elizardbits at 2:48 PM on July 9 [3 favorites]


Christ, that was scary.
posted by languagehat at 2:50 PM on July 9


Ooh, that was sneaky.
posted by ardgedee at 2:50 PM on July 9


The Germans will lose because they will be overconfident, think they can stroll it and get their asses kicked, just like when Hitler invaded Russia hahahahaha ;)
posted by marienbad at 2:50 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Great defending!
posted by leslies at 2:50 PM on July 9


3 min of extra time
posted by elizardbits at 2:50 PM on July 9


Mascherano just saved Argentina there. Brilliant job getting back.
posted by eriko at 2:50 PM on July 9


Jeez, Argentina
posted by marienbad at 2:50 PM on July 9


oooooooooooooooh
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:51 PM on July 9


ROMERO PUNCH!
posted by eriko at 2:51 PM on July 9


Javier Mascherano is my favorite player.

I also love Arda Turan.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:51 PM on July 9


Can we please not drag the worst human in history into this? Thx.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:52 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Ice Cream Socialist: Because they are sexy or because they have sexy names?
posted by marienbad at 2:52 PM on July 9


That was a sad spectacle.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:53 PM on July 9


Peep Peep PEEP!
posted by eriko at 2:53 PM on July 9


Sorry, ARG. Weather won't be a factor in Rio on Sunday night for the final: 65 degrees, 0% chance of precipitation, 81% humidity.

Erm, is that a jinx?
posted by wensink at 2:53 PM on July 9


Yeah, kinda surprised to see a Hitler joke in here.
posted by shortfuse at 2:54 PM on July 9


Always true in his fashion, van Persie would also have been offside had the ball been played in toward him instead of to the right on that last play.

Neither of these teams look particularly up to taking on group-stage-form Germany, let alone a Germany that might be peaking.
posted by dogurthr at 2:54 PM on July 9


All of the above, marienbad.

Also because they are great at what they do, yet often invisible. Their influence on a match is frequently huge.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:54 PM on July 9


In case the extra time kills me, I just want to say it's been a pleasure watching (and agonizing over) the game with you all.
posted by languagehat at 2:56 PM on July 9


I mean, I hate ending a game on penalties as much as the next guy, but I'm not sure I agree with FIFA apparently changing the rule for the winner after extra time to be the team who successfully completed the most back passes to their goalkeeper.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:56 PM on July 9


I'm hoping that, as seems to be the trend this Cup, a particularly grueling ninety minutes is followed up by an interesting period of extra time. At least this isn't quite as bad as the Costa Rica-Greece or Argentina-Switzerland matches, during which I grew miserable at the thought that I'd have to suffer through one of those teams going through to the next round, while teams like Mexico and Chile had already been knocked out.
posted by dogurthr at 2:59 PM on July 9


Wow - FIFA has banned Nigeria from all international competition until their government stops interfering with their FA after they fired their leadership.
posted by leslies at 3:01 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Not saving the 3rd sub for their crunch goalie?
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:01 PM on July 9


Hey look! Technoviking dyed his beard orange!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:04 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


... and taking off van Persie?
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:05 PM on July 9


oh yay we are spared that jerky goalie dude who was such a jerky jerkface
posted by elizardbits at 3:05 PM on July 9


Krul the conqueror? Yeah I don't think refs should allow goalies to get up in PK shooters' grills like that.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:08 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


ok a legit shot on goal at least.
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:08 PM on July 9


Otto's off, Maxi's on.
posted by languagehat at 3:08 PM on July 9


GOAL!
posted by wensink at 3:11 PM on July 9


Have to admit it's amusing watching Robben throw a hissy fit after the ref tells him to continue play after being bodychecked.
posted by ardgedee at 3:11 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Poor challenge. And he's a fresh sub.
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:14 PM on July 9


GOAL!

Are you watching from the future?
posted by dogurthr at 3:14 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Cross just a little to far ahead.

And Peep! 3rd Half Over!
posted by eriko at 3:14 PM on July 9


Laptop incident and now I cannot watch on Globo - switching to ITV on a different computer. *sigh*
posted by needled at 3:15 PM on July 9


>> GOAL!

> Are you watching from the future?


Wishful thinking, more like?
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:15 PM on July 9


I had a vision. Too many vellocet cocktails at the milk bar.
posted by wensink at 3:15 PM on July 9


False hope, there was no goal! I was really confused for a moment and wondering how far behind my stream had lagged.
posted by yasaman at 3:16 PM on July 9


General rule: Don't write on your head.
posted by eriko at 3:16 PM on July 9


Whoever wins this will be pretty worn out for the final on Sunday, that's for sure.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:16 PM on July 9


Are you watching from the future?

Maybe it's a leftover goal from yesterday.
posted by shothotbot at 3:16 PM on July 9


Does the Dutch goalie have a black eye??
posted by Atrahasis at 3:17 PM on July 9


Welcome to the increasingly misnamed fourth half!
posted by eriko at 3:17 PM on July 9


Metafilter: Don't write on your head
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:17 PM on July 9


@honigstein: Jogi Löw stroking a white cat in a leather chair. #extra-time
posted by shortfuse at 3:17 PM on July 9


Wow, that collision really kuyted up Zabaleta.
posted by eriko at 3:18 PM on July 9


STOP SHOWING THAT COLLISION IT HURTS TO WATCH
posted by ardgedee at 3:19 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Zabaleta has a coke nail.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:20 PM on July 9


Did a Dutch player just twerk over the head of the prostrate Zabaleta?
posted by languagehat at 3:20 PM on July 9


Ugh here's the stretcher.
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:21 PM on July 9


Prostrate Zabaleta is the name of my next band.
posted by eriko at 3:21 PM on July 9


So now I am on a plane with a misfunctioning toilet, if the smell is to be believed, and it is better than 15 more minutes I guess. Sorry I will miss the tears after PKs.
posted by shothotbot at 3:22 PM on July 9


Rat tail blowing in the wind. The beautiful game.
posted by dogurthr at 3:22 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


OKAY I GET WHAT'S GOING ON. GUYS GUYS LISTEN TO THIS:

The secret is that both teams want to face Brazil, not Germany. So this is the football equivalent of a slow race. Each is trying to force the other team to win!
posted by ardgedee at 3:23 PM on July 9


Which is a nicer way of saying both teams are scared of the Germans.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:24 PM on July 9


Adam Sandler looks pretty good out there for such an old guy.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:24 PM on July 9


argh the cleaning lady wants to go home so i have to leave the office

what a vile injustice
posted by elizardbits at 3:25 PM on July 9


The secret is that both teams want to face Brazil, not Germany. So this is the football equivalent of a slow race. Each is trying to force the other team to win!

PKs should be amazing! Maybe someone will score by mistake? Will the goal keepers try to direct balls into the goal?
posted by Area Man at 3:26 PM on July 9


Those Quilmes ads are looking better and better.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 3:26 PM on July 9


RAT TAIL YOU HAD ONE JOB!
posted by eriko at 3:27 PM on July 9 [3 favorites]


A MOMENT OF EXCITEMENT!
posted by languagehat at 3:27 PM on July 9


Two moments!
posted by dogurthr at 3:29 PM on July 9


Almost thing there
posted by Dumsnill at 3:29 PM on July 9


It looked for a moment there like Messi might make something happen.
posted by languagehat at 3:29 PM on July 9


MESSI!
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:30 PM on July 9


If yesterday was like watching history being made, today is like watching bureaucracy.
posted by ardgedee at 3:30 PM on July 9 [5 favorites]


I think Zabaleta settled that ball with his missing tooth.
posted by dogurthr at 3:31 PM on July 9


What happened with the crowd? So much high-pitched screaming.
posted by lauranesson at 3:32 PM on July 9


This was a really, really boring game. Sad.
posted by Justinian at 3:33 PM on July 9


So yeah. Shoot-outs in the semis. I don't like it.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:33 PM on July 9


...And it's pens.
posted by languagehat at 3:33 PM on July 9


ARggggh PKs!!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:33 PM on July 9


Peep Peep PEEP! Kicks from the spot.
posted by eriko at 3:33 PM on July 9


That's it. Down to penalties.
posted by ardgedee at 3:33 PM on July 9


1 more minute...
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:33 PM on July 9


Sailor Palacio: Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket rat tail represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?
Lula Us: About fifty thousand times.

posted by wensink at 3:34 PM on July 9


This was sucky.
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:34 PM on July 9


You have to admit, though, that the four goals per game average in this round has been impressive.
posted by ardgedee at 3:35 PM on July 9


All in or nothing pretty well describes each of the semifinal games.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 3:35 PM on July 9


NEWSFLASH! Messi will shoot first for Argentina!
posted by eriko at 3:36 PM on July 9


Wonder if The Netherlands will sub their keeper again, like they did the other day....
posted by mudpuppie at 3:36 PM on July 9


Neither of these teams really should have made it this far. Unfortunately, neither should have their opponents.

How long has it been since the Netherlands scored a goal?
posted by dogurthr at 3:36 PM on July 9


Oh wait, they already didn't do that. Never mind. Long day.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:36 PM on July 9


via Guardian live blog: "This will go to penalty kicks. Jasper Cillessen, let it be noted, has never saved one in his career."
posted by wensink at 3:37 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


@mudpuppie All subs have been used by both teams.
posted by wensink at 3:38 PM on July 9


BOOM! 0-0
posted by eriko at 3:39 PM on July 9


YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:39 PM on July 9


CHIQUITO!!!
posted by languagehat at 3:39 PM on July 9


Well, Vlaar had a good game until that kick.
posted by dogurthr at 3:40 PM on July 9


MESSI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by languagehat at 3:40 PM on July 9


GOAL! 0-1 Argentina.
posted by eriko at 3:40 PM on July 9


GOAL! 1-1
posted by eriko at 3:41 PM on July 9


@mudpuppie All subs have been used by both teams.

My internet was down until 98:00. I missed things. Not much, but things.

posted by mudpuppie at 3:41 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Robben didn't mess around, either.
posted by eriko at 3:41 PM on July 9


GOAL 1-2.
posted by eriko at 3:41 PM on July 9


It's over.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:42 PM on July 9


BOOM! 1-2 Argentina!
posted by eriko at 3:42 PM on July 9


CHIQUITO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by languagehat at 3:42 PM on July 9


TWO BLOCKS FOR ARGENTINA!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:42 PM on July 9


GOAL! 1-3 Argentina. Holland misses and is out, Argentina scores and wins.
posted by eriko at 3:43 PM on July 9


I don't like the concept of these shootouts. Give me soccer that just continues on and on until one side drops to the ground from exhaustion.
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:43 PM on July 9 [4 favorites]


GOAL 2-3.
posted by eriko at 3:44 PM on July 9


that was yesterday's game, liz
posted by desjardins at 3:44 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


When I say "Boom boom!" You say...
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:44 PM on July 9


GOAL 2-4 Final ARGENTINA.
posted by eriko at 3:44 PM on July 9


ARGENTINA!
posted by ardgedee at 3:44 PM on July 9


OH DEAR SWEET JEEBUS, ARGENTINA WINS IT!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:45 PM on July 9


ARGENTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by languagehat at 3:45 PM on July 9


Conserve your energy, ARG.
posted by wensink at 3:45 PM on July 9


"Messi against the Machine"
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:46 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


I never watched soccer before this World Cup, but I immediately hated the Netherlands because of their garish uniforms. So I am arbitrarily pleased.
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:46 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Well, it makes up for the good goal that was disallowed.

Lot of dull football in this World Cup, though.
posted by dogurthr at 3:46 PM on July 9


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
posted by MartinWisse at 3:47 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Whee!

We will be cracking a lovely Argentinian Malbec at Casa 26.2 this evening.
posted by 26.2 at 3:47 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


To be honest, never thought we'd get past the group phase, but it still hurt.

Next time.
posted by MartinWisse at 3:48 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


Sorry, MartinWisse. Tough way to go out, especially with Cillessen getting hands to a couple of those.
posted by Errant at 3:50 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


So, Brazilian churrascaria or Argentinian steakhouse for dinner this weekend?
posted by needled at 3:50 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


@Fernando_Duarte: We are a nation of 200 million Germans.
posted by shortfuse at 3:50 PM on July 9


Based on this form, I have to say that gambling his life savings on Germany is looking like a pretty good bet for that Singaporean boy's dad.
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:51 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Sorry MartinWisse. At least you didn't get the public shaming that Brazil received.

And I think Saturday might be a lovely day for you.
posted by 26.2 at 3:51 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Watching the final with my German friend and his Brazilian wife is going to be so, so awesome. (Unless Germany loses, of course.)
posted by shortfuse at 3:52 PM on July 9


Conserve your energy, ARG.

Actually, that's what they did. For 120 min.
posted by sour cream at 3:52 PM on July 9


I gotta admit I was starting to think rebelliously "I don't care who wins this goddam thing," but it turns out I do.
posted by languagehat at 3:55 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Sorry pendragon, congrats lh!

So, Germany it is for the final!

(And ugh, that wasn't the best semifinal ever)
posted by ersatz at 3:55 PM on July 9


Heh. From a Brazilian newspaper column last night: "Now how could things get worse? playing Argentina for third place and losing on penalty kicks? Even worse - Argentina gets to the final and defeats Germany playing beautifully, with a bicycle kick goal from Messi. The least worst outcome is for Holland to win it all."
posted by needled at 3:56 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


yay
posted by elizardbits at 4:02 PM on July 9


Also wow I actually don't care at all who wins the final, but it better be a good game or I will make the baby eats lemon face at both sides.
posted by elizardbits at 4:04 PM on July 9


I'm going to be mad if Germany doesn't win, and win handily, in 90 minutes.
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:04 PM on July 9


Yeah I feel like die mannschaft is going to dominate but I'm not bovvered
posted by elizardbits at 4:06 PM on July 9


I never watched soccer before this World Cup, but I immediately hated the Netherlands because of their garish uniforms. So I am arbitrarily pleased.

but the coaches' ties are beautiful.
posted by mullacc at 4:25 PM on July 9


The Argentinian coach looks like old Bilbo Baggins
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:34 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Anatomy of a drubbing: How and why Brazil were annihilated by Germany (sorry, I know some of you just want to move on)
posted by desjardins at 5:02 PM on July 9 [4 favorites]


I immediately hated the Netherlands because of their garish uniforms

Try living in Tennessee. Or to a lesser extent Texas (only because their orange is less offensive.)
posted by 26.2 at 5:07 PM on July 9


Brazil's nightmare would be to have Argentina win the World Cup on Brazilian soil.
posted by biggreenplant at 5:26 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]


As I said before, I'm not sad we lost to Argentina. We reached the semi-finals when I thought we couldn't even get out of the group stage.

Good luck to Argentina in the finals, but I don't think they stand a chance against Germany.
posted by Pendragon at 11:01 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]


Well seeing as I had been up since 5 am I fell asleep at the end of regulation time and missed all the fun. Got back today and almost didn't dare look at the final score. Even when it said 4-2 (pens) I had to check the picture - yes they are happy Argentina players running onto the pitch.

so - Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man I didn't think they were going to make it, but here we are, Germany are beatable, Argentina still haven't peaked yet (so next game surely then!?), Holland are out, (the Martinwisse Dream Final(tm) lies in ruins) and as for Brasil....

So, the Argentina supporting Brit is a happy bunny today. And probably will be until the humiliation at the hands of the Germans.
posted by marienbad at 1:47 AM on July 10


The real question is what the hell was van Gaal doing? He did nothing! After masterfully engineering all those wins he, and we know he can do better after Costa Rica, does nothing - just let's his team do their thing...
Surprising. And a bit of a let down.
On the plus side, I think Germany would have pasted the Nerherlands and I'm not sure they will Argentina. And there's a potential Messi Moment of Glory waiting which would be nice now wouldn't it?
posted by From Bklyn at 3:03 AM on July 10


Cillessen was the wrong choice, that's for sure. I think this might have ended differently if Krul was in the box instead. But after the Costa Rica match were Krul did his creepy psycho trick van Gaal apparently felt uneasy bringing him in. How were the Dutch media reports on that issue? Was there pressure to keep Krul under control?
posted by travelwithcats at 3:32 AM on July 10


They were out of subs - would have had to make the choice to leave someone injured in.
posted by leslies at 4:29 AM on July 10


Or to play one man short.
posted by travelwithcats at 4:43 AM on July 10


The Argentinian coach looks like old Bilbo Baggins

How is it possible! I had this thing going on in the back of my head throughout the game (granted, there wasn't much else to look at apart from that disgusting rat tail): "whom does he remind me of, he looks like a movie character…?" Spot. On. Thanks for solving the mystery for me.
posted by Namlit at 6:27 AM on July 10


How epic 1974 Muhammad Ali fight in Zaire opened way for rogue footballers to take African presidents hostage Mobutu laid the foundation for modern football blackmail on the continent. It is the strangest of tales
posted by infini at 7:49 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]


The Argentinian coach looks like old Bilbo Baggins.

"whom does he remind me of, he looks like a movie character…?"


I've been seeing Alejandro Sabella as Joe Klein's beardless cousin.
posted by wensink at 7:59 AM on July 10


Flood of goals hit firms' World Cup giveaways
> Businesses in Germany which tried to tap into the nation’s World Cup fever with free giveaways and discounts for every goal have been left counting the cost after Germany’s 7:1 rout of Brazil.
posted by ardgedee at 8:07 AM on July 10 [3 favorites]


A store for erotic toys in Berlin, meanwhile, limited its World Cup discount on a vibrator. Customers of the Fun Factory on Oranienburger Straße were told they would get ten percent off per goal but not more than 50 percent in total.

Dicked over.
posted by wensink at 9:16 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]


Both the Pornhub thing and the above World cup giveaways link are awesome, both of them, but particularly the Pornhub one, have had me laughing for days each time I think of it. That 7-1 is like the the gift that keeps giving.
posted by marienbad at 9:43 AM on July 10


I want Germany to wear their red-and-black striped jerseys and Argentina to wear their albiceleste striped jerseys for the final because, horizontal stripes versus vertical stripes! It will look totally awesome on the TV screen!
posted by needled at 10:12 AM on July 10


Sorry, as far as I know Germany's the "home" team so get to wear their primary (white) jerseys. The Argies will play in this ridiculous jersey.
posted by brokkr at 11:21 AM on July 10


There will be no soft goals in the final. Argentina are superb defenders. I would not write them off.
posted by night_train at 12:58 PM on July 10


> The Argies will play in this ridiculous jersey.

You're shitting me, right? I hope you're shitting me. How can I root for a team that's wearing that?
posted by languagehat at 2:55 PM on July 10


Oye. So many things wrong with that jersey. The darker stripes always go at the waist to give that nipped in V. Why take such yummy physiques and make them look less yummy?

The back of it is simpler but still ... bad.
posted by 26.2 at 4:41 PM on July 10


Ew, two-tone blue diagonal pinstripes? Gross! Who would do such a thing?

*scrolls up*
posted by Sys Rq at 5:25 PM on July 10


It wasn't just a figure of speech?
posted by needled at 6:12 AM on July 11


I'm don't think I've heard that particular expression used in football. Gave 110%, ran his socks off, threw himself into that challenge. About the closest I can get is "He went in hard there."

Although it would be ace if it did get used again, maybe as in a tearing challenge or something like that.
posted by marienbad at 6:27 AM on July 11


The Brazilian police said they now consider Ray Whelan, the British senior director of Fifa’s official hospitality company arrested as part of a $100m ticket touting investigation, to be a fugitive.
posted by shothotbot at 6:41 AM on July 11


I wish I could be less cynical than to assume this only made it to the media and the police because some higher-up in FIFA wasn't getting their cut.
posted by ardgedee at 10:27 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]


So are we staying here tomorrow or moving over there?
posted by languagehat at 5:59 PM on July 11


The Messi thread is a proper thread with real comments so maybe stay over here for playoff and have a final thread for tomorrow? (Which rounds up various interesting trivia and stuff from the tournament?)
posted by marienbad at 12:04 AM on July 12


We could also add in that Tim Howard was not in the list of finalists for the Golden Gloves (nor was Ochoa wtf?) or Muslera!
posted by lizarrd at 4:23 AM on July 12


Folks are welcome to rant about the stadium in Brasilia during today's game.
posted by needled at 7:06 AM on July 12


Awesome, needled!
posted by travelwithcats at 8:23 AM on July 12


The Messi thread is a proper thread with real comments so maybe stay over here for playoff and have a final thread for tomorrow? (Which rounds up various interesting trivia and stuff from the tournament?)

I'm good with here or the Messi thread today. The current post about Dilma Rousleff should not get taken over by us naming goalies and yelling about how bad the corner kicks are -- it's a good political post and I don't want to step on it if the site-as-a-whole wants to have that discussion.

The Messi thread seems to have died down, and the only people posting are people who'd be in the discussion. Though, come to think of it, that would be the perfect place for the Finals thread if the mods say "enough" to a FPP on the final, since Messi will be playing in it.

And since this is the 3rd place game, we should try to name everybody. Well, expect for Floppen Robben, that's already taken care of.
posted by eriko at 10:40 AM on July 12


We could also add in that Tim Howard was not in the list of finalists for the Golden Gloves (nor was Ochoa wtf?) or Muslera!

No. But he did earn the rare honor of being named Man of the Match despite the loss to Belgium.
posted by eriko at 10:46 AM on July 12


Although it would be ace if it did get used again, maybe as in a tearing challenge or something like that.

He busted his ass getting to that ball!
posted by eriko at 10:47 AM on July 12


An hour to go, jeez the Brazil team must be shitting themselves right about now. And how will van Gaal and the Netherlands cope with having to play for 3rd place after missing out on the final on penalties and extra time. Talk about a difficult game to call.
posted by marienbad at 12:10 PM on July 12


Wow. I have seen the the goalies, and wow. Wow.
posted by eriko at 12:15 PM on July 12


Not got it on yet - ITV starts at 8.30 and is not worth watching pre-match.
posted by marienbad at 12:19 PM on July 12


Let's stay here for the game. The Dilma Rousseff post can be for discussing the non-soccer aspects of the World Cup - there had been some interest in that type of World Cup discussion, and the comments in that post are heading that way anyway.
posted by needled at 12:19 PM on July 12


And today's game is being played at the Estádio Nacional de Brasilia, Brasília, the most expensive stadium in Brazil, constructed with $900 million in public funds! And the original budget was $300 million!

The Brazilian team better be nervous - their 7-1 spanking could mean a spanking for politicians in Brasília come elections in October.
posted by needled at 12:25 PM on July 12


> And how will van Gaal and the Netherlands cope with having to play for 3rd place after missing out on the final on penalties and extra time.

Don't miss the Guardian liveblog:
Who cares about coming third in a World Cup? No one. Who wants to boast they came third in a World Cup? No one. Most players would be happier to get "I voted Conservative and think David Cameron is doing a stand-up job" tattooed onto their lower torso and be forced to walk around in a brightly coloured crop-top for 365 days straight rather than hold up that bronze medal. For you see, when you get past the quarter-finals and into the semis, all that matters is winning. Eff style, eff history, eff the crowd, eff the TV pundits, eff the print pundits, eff the bandwagon jumpers, eff the haters. Eff it all. Except the winning. And winning is exactly what Brazil and Holland could not do at that stage of this glorious tournament.
Also, ^needled wins the Golden Thousandth Comment Award^!
posted by languagehat at 12:30 PM on July 12


Oh man, so I was number 998? Story of my life mate.
posted by marienbad at 12:35 PM on July 12


I am excited to see which team can muster less apathy. I'm rooting for Brazil, but my bet is that the Netherlands will have an easy win.
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:36 PM on July 12


Yay I won something!
posted by needled at 12:38 PM on July 12


Who cares about coming third in a World Cup? No one.

Of course, but imagine the shit show if Brazil loses this game and Argentina were to win tomorrow.
posted by wensink at 12:43 PM on July 12


ITV showing pics of Sneijder injured? Is this right?
posted by marienbad at 12:45 PM on July 12


willian-oscar-ramirez as the 3 for Brazil with Jo (yes indeed) up front
posted by marienbad at 12:46 PM on July 12


IS THIS THE PARTY POST
posted by elizardbits at 12:46 PM on July 12


yes - bring alcohol, drugs and poppers.
posted by marienbad at 12:47 PM on July 12


Instead of the national anthems they should play Yakkity Sax.
posted by eriko at 12:48 PM on July 12 [3 favorites]


A bit harsh but a great idea.
posted by marienbad at 12:49 PM on July 12


Email that suggestion to the Guardian liveblogger.
posted by needled at 12:51 PM on July 12


Or just the Whammy noise on a ten minute loop.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:51 PM on July 12


OH WAY AHHHHHHHHHHH
posted by eriko at 12:51 PM on July 12


once again there is nothing to eat in my house aside from peanut butter and dog biscuits

why does this keep happening
posted by elizardbits at 12:52 PM on July 12


Neymar shaking hands with the kids - that's the first time someone's touched him and he hasn't fallen over in about 3 weeks.
posted by marienbad at 12:53 PM on July 12


Emailed. I signed it.

Erik V. Olson
Chicago, IL 'Merica
posted by eriko at 12:53 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


1000 Sad Trombones
posted by eriko at 12:53 PM on July 12


Everyone looks like they are trudging towards their deaths.
posted by elizardbits at 12:54 PM on July 12


Just remember, the whole point of this match is to find out who's the second of the losers.
posted by eriko at 12:54 PM on July 12


Total change in lineup for Brazil; only 5 players from the starting 11 in that ludicrous display of a semifinal. The only thing that surprises me is that there are so many; I half expected to see a backup keeper replacing David Luiz.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 12:55 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Smear the peanut butter on the dog biscuits maybe?

When I was a kid and microwaves were new I microwaved a bonio dog biscuit on a plate in our microwave. Unfortunately I put it on for a long time and forgot and when I went back the kitchen was full of thick black smoke and the bonio was a melted black mess and i had to hide the plate. The smoke took ages to clear and smelt disgusting.
posted by marienbad at 12:56 PM on July 12


Showoffs knowing the second verse of their national anthem.
posted by eriko at 12:56 PM on July 12


I have the sound off, are the Brazilians still doing the accapella anthem thing?
posted by marienbad at 12:56 PM on July 12


The arm folding now looks terribly resigned rather than challenging.
posted by elizardbits at 12:57 PM on July 12


ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!
posted by eriko at 12:58 PM on July 12


Yeah De Guzman in for Sneijder.

Lets see how this goes down!
posted by marienbad at 12:59 PM on July 12


Scolari would like to stay on as national coach! Isn't that sweet?
posted by languagehat at 12:59 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


It kind of feels like NED has already given up when they've lost the will to wear their orange kit.
posted by TwoStride at 1:01 PM on July 12


FLASH The Univision announcers are now saying Kite rather than Cowt.
posted by languagehat at 1:01 PM on July 12


PENALTY!!!!
posted by eriko at 1:01 PM on July 12


Pen!!
posted by marienbad at 1:01 PM on July 12


Penalty!
posted by languagehat at 1:01 PM on July 12


Floppen Robben wins another one.
posted by eriko at 1:02 PM on July 12


Here we go again?
posted by marienbad at 1:02 PM on July 12


Hey, that was a legit penalty.
posted by Pendragon at 1:02 PM on July 12


Ok, Thiago Silva v Robben is a clash in which you hope both get sent off. Jesus.
posted by TwoStride at 1:02 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


1-0 /david coleman
posted by marienbad at 1:03 PM on July 12


GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL(inhale)LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
posted by eriko at 1:03 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


ESPN: "the nightmare deepens"
posted by elizardbits at 1:03 PM on July 12


Apparently RvP is now wearing Kuyt as a backpack.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:03 PM on July 12


Oh god, I don't know if I can watch another total collapse from Brazil.
posted by yasaman at 1:03 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


And RvP shows he can count to one.
posted by eriko at 1:03 PM on July 12


Who cares about coming third in a World Cup? No one.

Of course, but imagine the shit show if Brazil loses this game, 8-1.
posted by wensink at 1:03 PM on July 12


What the fucking what? I come in two minutes late and miss a goal on penalty kick? The fuck?
posted by ardgedee at 1:04 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


The fun of extrapolation from one data point. At this rate, Brazil will give up 29 penalties.
posted by eriko at 1:05 PM on July 12


Globo saying Thiago Silva should have gotten a red card and not a yellow card.
posted by needled at 1:06 PM on July 12


Silva doing his best to sit this one out too.
posted by cerbous at 1:06 PM on July 12


possibly, needled, as they say - you see them given
posted by marienbad at 1:07 PM on July 12


Yes, that should have been a red card.
posted by Pendragon at 1:07 PM on July 12


> I come in two minutes late and miss a goal

It's a third-place-game tradition. Guardian: "Introduced in 1934, the third-place match took a mere 24 seconds to deliver its first goal, Ernst Lehner of Germany getting the match against Austria’s famous Wunderteam, as well as the entire concept, off to a flyer."
posted by languagehat at 1:08 PM on July 12


[nelson laugh]
posted by elizardbits at 1:08 PM on July 12


Did Floppen Robben just try to grab that guy's balls?
posted by eriko at 1:08 PM on July 12


Three days off and Brazil still couldn't fucking practice their passing. It's as if they want to lose.
posted by ardgedee at 1:08 PM on July 12


Nice crotch grab, Floppen Robben.
posted by TwoStride at 1:09 PM on July 12


Ahhh, sweet vengeance.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:09 PM on July 12


Yeah, that should have been a red card.
posted by homunculus at 1:09 PM on July 12


Yellow for both Robben and Silva now, TwoStride
posted by marienbad at 1:09 PM on July 12


Really though what do they have to lose at this point, why not let it descend into an unruly schoolyard brawl.
posted by elizardbits at 1:10 PM on July 12


WHAT THE CRAP I JUST GOT HERE HOW DID THEY ALREADY SCORE???
posted by joedan at 1:11 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Really though what do they have to lose at this point, why not let it descend into an unruly schoolyard brawl.

No, because really bad things happen in soccer brawls.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:13 PM on July 12


Brilliant pass to Silva, shame it was the Netherlands who made it.
posted by eriko at 1:13 PM on July 12


Hey, there's a game going on right now, how come you Globo announcers are going on and on about the history of Argentina-Germany matchups?
posted by needled at 1:13 PM on July 12


Maybe it could be like that game where all twenty-two players were sent off.
posted by languagehat at 1:13 PM on July 12


Germany had a few goals left over, they just gave a spare to the Dutch.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:14 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Still crossing my fingers that both will be sent off, marienbad!
posted by TwoStride at 1:14 PM on July 12


Boom!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:16 PM on July 12


GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL(gasps)LLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
posted by eriko at 1:16 PM on July 12


Here we go again!
posted by languagehat at 1:16 PM on July 12


okay idk if i want to watch this
posted by elizardbits at 1:16 PM on July 12


Here we go again.
posted by ardgedee at 1:16 PM on July 12


Was that David Luiz sucking again? YES IT WAS. PSG was mad for picking him up.
posted by TwoStride at 1:17 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Linesman missed, that lead in play was offsides.
posted by eriko at 1:17 PM on July 12


Although the dead silence after each goal is kind of hilarious.
posted by elizardbits at 1:17 PM on July 12


Oh God, more children crying.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:17 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


OH GOD STOP SHOWING THE MISERABLE CHILDREN IN THE STANDS
posted by languagehat at 1:17 PM on July 12


This could get quite funny. I wish I had some beer.
posted by gnuhavenpier at 1:17 PM on July 12


Is it too soon to conclude that Tuesday's game was not a fluke?
posted by ardgedee at 1:17 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


This is going to be another blowout, isn't it?
posted by joedan at 1:18 PM on July 12


Dos a cero!

I love when Univision says that....
posted by eriko at 1:18 PM on July 12


Man, you go to make a bowl of cereal...
posted by marienbad at 1:18 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


surely the end for scolari if this goes haywire
posted by marienbad at 1:19 PM on July 12


How could Brazil have gotten this far? They can't possibly be this gutted just because Neymar isn't on. That's not possible.
posted by ardgedee at 1:20 PM on July 12


> surely the end for scolari if this goes haywire

You make it sound like it hadn't yet.
posted by ardgedee at 1:20 PM on July 12


surely the end for scolari if this goes haywire

If?
posted by eriko at 1:20 PM on July 12


"And history repeats itself."
Globo announcer was excited about that 2nd NED goal - the announcing team is full of contempt for the home team at the moment.
posted by needled at 1:20 PM on July 12


We can just refer to him as "David Lulz" from now on, right?
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:21 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


And for the first time this game, a goalie touches a ball!
posted by eriko at 1:21 PM on July 12


Nice, clean, direct pass to the Netherlands goalie there, Oscar.
posted by ardgedee at 1:21 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


The Grauniad: "Another goal, another example of why PSG will be searching for the receipt for David Luiz. "
posted by eriko at 1:24 PM on July 12


Guardian: "You have to laugh really. Unless you are Brazilian, of course."
posted by languagehat at 1:24 PM on July 12


> the announcing team is full of contempt for the home team at the moment.

Similarly, if ITV was willing to give Brazil the benefit of credibility that they were a good team on the ropes, the announcers had dropped that act by the third minute.
posted by ardgedee at 1:24 PM on July 12


Now *that's* a free kick. Right out of bounds.
posted by eriko at 1:25 PM on July 12


The Univision announcers are reminiscing about past teams and matches, interrupting themselves every once in a while to note the occasional burst of action.
posted by languagehat at 1:26 PM on July 12


David Luiz is hereby now known as David Loseit.
posted by eriko at 1:27 PM on July 12


Oscar wins the Oscar for that performance
posted by eriko at 1:28 PM on July 12


Well at least they look awake today...
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:28 PM on July 12


Fair warning, tripping over your own feet for a flop will not make me want you to win anymore, Brazil.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:28 PM on July 12


I startled the cat by laughing too loudly at the self-induced fall.
posted by languagehat at 1:29 PM on July 12


awful from de guzman
posted by marienbad at 1:29 PM on July 12


Am stuck with commentary suomeksi... so it'll be watching game and following the blue
posted by infini at 1:30 PM on July 12


What are the fans in yellow upto?
posted by infini at 1:31 PM on July 12


Well at least we won't have the agony of extra time...
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:31 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


What are the fans in yellow up to?

They were just doing the wave, those brave motherfuckers.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:32 PM on July 12


mexican wave
posted by marienbad at 1:32 PM on July 12


> What are the fans in yellow upto?

Openly weeping.
posted by ardgedee at 1:32 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


The fans are doing the "Mexican wave" re ESPN, believe it or not.
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:33 PM on July 12


thanks!
posted by infini at 1:34 PM on July 12


Needs more submarine diving horn sound effects.
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:34 PM on July 12


smooth, fast, beautiful and then a shit pass
posted by marienbad at 1:34 PM on July 12


I just played a bingo in scrabble, but I had both blanks. That's like scoring against Brazil.
posted by eriko at 1:35 PM on July 12


seriously who did luiz and fred bribe to get on this team
posted by ardgedee at 1:35 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHAT DO YOU NEED TO SCORE BRAZIL?
posted by eriko at 1:37 PM on July 12


and no one scores!! ffs brasil
posted by marienbad at 1:37 PM on July 12


Finns sound excited... everyone missed the ball
posted by infini at 1:37 PM on July 12


I moved away from the TV for a little. What happened? I hear ominous noise.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:38 PM on July 12


I'm hoping that David Luiz's awful performance will kill the trend for Sideshow Bob 'fros.
posted by TwoStride at 1:38 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


I need some potato crisps
posted by infini at 1:38 PM on July 12


PUT THE MAGIC SPRAY ON HIS HEAD!
posted by eriko at 1:39 PM on July 12


> What happened?

The Keystone Kops are playing with loaded guns.
posted by ardgedee at 1:39 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


OUch...
posted by infini at 1:39 PM on July 12


> I moved away from the TV for a little.

How can you bear to miss a moment of this tense spectacle?
posted by languagehat at 1:39 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Sorry, infini, I just finished my bag of potato chips. I'd have shared.
posted by ardgedee at 1:39 PM on July 12


THEY ARE STAPLING KUYT'S HEAD!
posted by marienbad at 1:39 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Staples in the head, nice.
posted by Pendragon at 1:39 PM on July 12


wait is his head actually bleeding?
posted by elizardbits at 1:40 PM on July 12


wha...?
posted by infini at 1:40 PM on July 12


*runs to the kitchen for the other bag*
posted by infini at 1:40 PM on July 12


THE VAMPIRISM HAS SPREAD
posted by elizardbits at 1:40 PM on July 12


Well, it's bleeding now that they've put staples into it.
posted by eriko at 1:41 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Sorry, I just wanted to see some hope and joy again for a second.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:42 PM on July 12


Kuyt isn't a flopper, so I knew he was really hurting.
posted by Pendragon at 1:42 PM on July 12


It's been over 20 minutes since Holland last scored.

So I guess that means Brazil's improving.

Shame that so much of this match looks like it's being played by grade schoolers, though.
posted by ardgedee at 1:42 PM on July 12


*goes to get staple gun to staple own head*
posted by languagehat at 1:42 PM on July 12 [4 favorites]


That was deliberate
posted by infini at 1:43 PM on July 12


Just noticed shorts have gotten much longer than in my youth
posted by infini at 1:43 PM on July 12


I'll just sit here and direct traffic.
posted by eriko at 1:44 PM on July 12


We would all like this game to be more fascinating, languagehat. But fasteners will not help.
posted by ardgedee at 1:44 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Wow. I'm amazed at the way you...sort of kicked that at the wall.
posted by eriko at 1:44 PM on July 12


sigh
posted by elizardbits at 1:44 PM on July 12


2 more minutes of disco bitchin' fun!
posted by eriko at 1:45 PM on July 12


You never know until you try! It gets a lot more exciting when I switch from ESPN to Univision, after all.
posted by languagehat at 1:45 PM on July 12


RUN ROBBEN RUN!
posted by eriko at 1:46 PM on July 12


Really, that was it?
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:46 PM on July 12


I have not waited all World Cup to type that.
posted by eriko at 1:46 PM on July 12


Huh, it's almost halftime. Time flies when you're... doing whatever this is.
posted by languagehat at 1:46 PM on July 12


Peep Peep PEEP!

STAPLES FOR EVERYBODY!
posted by eriko at 1:47 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Yeah, a strange half, not the most interesting but entertaining nonetheless
posted by marienbad at 1:48 PM on July 12


So Brazil only conceded two goals in the first half. I call that a moral victory.
posted by languagehat at 1:48 PM on July 12


ITV's summary of the match so far: "Well, at least it's not five."
posted by ardgedee at 1:48 PM on July 12


So I nagged the new housemate in the house we all just moved into to set up the wiring for this?
posted by infini at 1:48 PM on July 12


And the Bet365 TV commercial just gave Brazil 20/1.
posted by ardgedee at 1:49 PM on July 12


Tomorrow had better be worth it.
posted by infini at 1:49 PM on July 12


Yeah, this is an incredibly embarrassing world cup for Brazil..
posted by Dumsnill at 1:49 PM on July 12


NED are too strong in defence and Brazil too crap in attack. Oscar is the only brazilian who looks like he might do something, with Ramirez a close 2nd.

Every time Brazil attack it feels so blunt,and the Dutch attack seems much sharper and more incisive
posted by marienbad at 1:50 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


I don't see it as embarrassing, I see it as a national tragedy for Brazil. Almost the entire nation is heavily, emotionally invested in their team and this sub-par performance is rather like a slap in the face to their fans. I feel very sorry for them.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:53 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Oh I do too, didn't mean it that way.
posted by Dumsnill at 1:58 PM on July 12


An event can be both tragic and embarrassing. As this is.
posted by languagehat at 2:00 PM on July 12


coca cola wants Brazilians to feel better with an ad showing an old geezer who watched that 1950 game - and since then, he's become a father, a grandfather, and there have been five World Cup titles!
posted by needled at 2:01 PM on July 12


humour

wrt the other FPP, what will the impact of this loss be to Dilma Yousseff?
posted by infini at 2:01 PM on July 12


Stat attack via BBC

Brazil have not lost consecutive matches on home soil since 1940; 0-3 v Argentina in Feb 1940 and 3-4 v Uruguay in March 1940.
posted by marienbad at 2:02 PM on July 12


I have another tab open with another FPP in it which is completely unrelated to footy, so I am going to have to be careful
posted by marienbad at 2:03 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Brazilians left at half time again!
posted by marienbad at 2:05 PM on July 12


Coach is not happy.
posted by infini at 2:05 PM on July 12


I just sent my dog's vet an accidental football txt, I'm not even bothering to try anymore really
posted by elizardbits at 2:05 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


God, I hope it didn't involve a stapler.
posted by eriko at 2:06 PM on July 12


wtf
posted by infini at 2:06 PM on July 12


This is making writing SQL queries appear to be a more entertaining use of my time.
posted by needled at 2:06 PM on July 12


The stadium's jumbotrons (which are showing the same video feed we're watching) shows Scolari watching from the sidelines. The stadium erupts in boos.

Meanwhile Oscar is doing yeoman's work with no support whatsoever.
posted by ardgedee at 2:06 PM on July 12


SHORT CORNER, MEH!
posted by eriko at 2:07 PM on July 12


That was briefly exciting!
posted by languagehat at 2:09 PM on July 12


I've african timeline open in other tab, they're sharing lulzy pix over there
posted by infini at 2:09 PM on July 12


An event can be both tragic and embarrassing.

Damn your use of language, you..you...language hat.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:10 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


*staples hat to head*
posted by languagehat at 2:12 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Another yellow.
posted by eriko at 2:12 PM on July 12


Van Persie limping?
posted by infini at 2:12 PM on July 12


#NED must come back to the game... They're now playing like African teams... Pushing and shoving, getting yellows... #BRA could break out
posted by infini at 2:14 PM on July 12


African teams pushing? The absolute worst example of manhandling and shoving in this World Cup so far has been Greece in their match against Japan. Most of the tackles and engagements in that match looked like American football-level hitting and grabbing.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:17 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


This ref sucks, negligent like the vs Columbia game.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:17 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Oof - that impromptu side split looked painful.
posted by needled at 2:18 PM on July 12


Univision announcers are talking about how Scolari looks like Gene Hackman.
posted by languagehat at 2:19 PM on July 12


I do not believe that weird slide.
posted by infini at 2:20 PM on July 12


Heh, now the Univision commentator has just compared Scolari to Gene Hackman in appearance.

Edit: Damn you again, 'hat!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:20 PM on July 12


NED goalie has easy job
posted by infini at 2:21 PM on July 12


The only way Luiz could be useful would be if you convinced him today was Opposite Day.
posted by ardgedee at 2:21 PM on July 12


This is a really bad ref.
posted by Pendragon at 2:22 PM on July 12


Nice run by Oscar but somehow I knew it would come to nothing.
posted by languagehat at 2:22 PM on July 12


That was a handball in the box. The Brazil fans are not happy.
posted by eriko at 2:23 PM on July 12


Is that someone with the saffron, white and green of India in that corner?
posted by infini at 2:23 PM on July 12


Scolari was just channeling his inner Mr. Miyagi there to show the handball with the traditional "wax on, wax off" motion.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:25 PM on July 12


Oscar gets the yellow? WTF?
posted by eriko at 2:26 PM on July 12


Wow
posted by marienbad at 2:26 PM on July 12


Oh holy flaming shitballs of implausible size, that was a terrible call.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:26 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


This is a horrible referee. (As has been noted before.)
posted by languagehat at 2:27 PM on July 12


Oh dear...
posted by infini at 2:27 PM on July 12


Simulation. Which is a dubious call. But at least you can't blame the officiating for being biased towards the home team.
posted by ardgedee at 2:27 PM on July 12


I mean, I'm sorry Blind is hurt, but he took Oscar down. That should be a yellow on him and a penalty.
posted by eriko at 2:27 PM on July 12


the dutch are going to go home frankensteined together at this rate
posted by elizardbits at 2:27 PM on July 12


WTF.
posted by homunculus at 2:28 PM on July 12


Blind's off, Janmatt on.
posted by eriko at 2:28 PM on July 12


The Univision announcers are laughing. What else can you do?
posted by languagehat at 2:28 PM on July 12


WTF game are they watching?
posted by 26.2 at 2:28 PM on July 12


A yellow for simulation. So, apparently, Blind hurt himself touching nothing?
posted by eriko at 2:28 PM on July 12


also if Blind doesn't spend his post-football career as a ref then i will be disappointed
posted by elizardbits at 2:29 PM on July 12


ITV: Hulk coming on. Lookout Holland!
posted by marienbad at 2:29 PM on July 12


Guardian: "Oscar hits the turf. The referee does not hesitate and points to the spot gives Oscar a yellow for diving. Replays show that to be the incorrect decision."
posted by languagehat at 2:30 PM on July 12


HULK!!!!
posted by eriko at 2:30 PM on July 12


Eriko called it!
posted by From Bklyn at 2:30 PM on July 12


Well, he's Blind - so he meets the recruitment criteria.
posted by 26.2 at 2:30 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


wow for fucking ramirez are you serioius?
posted by marienbad at 2:30 PM on July 12


> So, apparently, Blind hurt himself touching nothing?

Many young boys have gone "blind" by touching "nothing". Okay, I'm sorry I said that.
posted by ardgedee at 2:30 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Finnish commentators arguing about something...imho, social media will make commentators obsolete
posted by infini at 2:31 PM on July 12


Hulk?

Brazil continues to debate what shade of white for the surrender flag.
posted by 26.2 at 2:31 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


NO FLOP FOR YOU ROBBEN!
posted by eriko at 2:31 PM on July 12


I've done loads of wanking and it hasn't affected my eyesight at all
posted by marienbad at 2:32 PM on July 12


HULK SMASHED to a goal that nobody not addled by gamma rays can see.
posted by eriko at 2:33 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


wahay Hulk. Super shot dude.
posted by marienbad at 2:33 PM on July 12


That was Laimbeer worthy.
posted by 26.2 at 2:33 PM on July 12


Do they get to keep the ball?
posted by infini at 2:33 PM on July 12


Oscar gets the yellow? WTF?

Oscar threw himself into the air in response to a mediocre challenge from Blind. You could see from the replay that the ref saw it immediately and was going for his pocket before Oscar hit the ground.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 2:34 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Hulk dispossesed again.
posted by marienbad at 2:34 PM on July 12


Coach has given up.
posted by infini at 2:35 PM on July 12


Talk about not with a bang but a whimper
posted by marienbad at 2:37 PM on July 12


HULK does not smash again.
posted by eriko at 2:38 PM on July 12


Winner of 3rd place should get one Blue Shell to use during the final.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:39 PM on July 12


There sure are a lot of Brazilian football players named Carlos Alberto.
posted by languagehat at 2:39 PM on July 12


I never thought I'd say this but the neighbourhood game that takes place in the park outside is less amateurish
posted by infini at 2:39 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


CBC announcer is calling Robben "The Flying Dutchman".
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:42 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


7 minutes left. This game has bizarrely flown by.
posted by marienbad at 2:42 PM on July 12


HULK SWEATY
posted by languagehat at 2:42 PM on July 12


shitty ref just missed a stonecold penalty after already fucking up the first penalty.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:42 PM on July 12


But Brazil is still losing so happy.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:43 PM on July 12


It's kind of sad to see the host country team crumble so badly. Makes we wonder what Qatar will feel like.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:45 PM on July 12


Holland is just playing keep-away now. The stadium is booing.
posted by ardgedee at 2:45 PM on July 12


I don't understand reveling in the misery of a team that's obviously miserable. I see fans do it all the time and I just don't get it at all.
posted by 26.2 at 2:45 PM on July 12


Scolari is just sitting and gazing into space, counting off the hours remaining in his contract.
posted by ardgedee at 2:47 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Neymar looks well drugged. Good for him.
posted by 26.2 at 2:47 PM on July 12


Well MartinWisse is "reveling" because he is a Netherlands fan.
posted by marienbad at 2:48 PM on July 12


> Makes we wonder what Qatar will feel like.

I find it hard to believe they'll actually hold it there. Colombia was supposed to host it in '86 but they took it away because of all the coke violence.
posted by languagehat at 2:48 PM on July 12


Has Hulk actually done anything this tournament other than let us make Hulk Smash jokes? I thought he was supposed to be, like, good.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:48 PM on July 12 [3 favorites]


oh boy
posted by marienbad at 2:48 PM on July 12


GOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLlLLLL(pukes)LLLLLLLL!!!!!!
posted by eriko at 2:49 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Well SHIT.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:49 PM on July 12


For fuck's sake.
posted by ardgedee at 2:49 PM on July 12


and that's three.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:49 PM on July 12


Another slap in the face for Brazil.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:49 PM on July 12


There we go. I was starting to worry the Dutch would feel bad for only scoring two goals.
posted by languagehat at 2:49 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


FFS.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:49 PM on July 12


I find it hard to believe they'll actually hold it there. Colombia was supposed to host it in '86 but they took it away because of all the coke violence.

No, that was just because they keep sniffing up all the lines.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:50 PM on July 12


The stands are silent. The fans can't even be arsed to boo any more.
posted by ardgedee at 2:50 PM on July 12


I looked down for a second. thank god for replays... I knew that would happen.
posted by infini at 2:50 PM on July 12


I wonder if Brazil might have fared better by hiring Peter Scolari as manager.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:50 PM on July 12


The crowd is booing very loudly.
posted by languagehat at 2:50 PM on July 12


Okay, now they are booing. They save that for when Brazil has the ball.

Which, when you consider the stands are almost entirely Brazilians, is... man.
posted by ardgedee at 2:50 PM on July 12


I mean they'd passed the 90 min mark you know...
posted by infini at 2:50 PM on July 12


Julio Cesar is owed at least one beer.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 2:50 PM on July 12


Vorm gets 2 minutes
posted by marienbad at 2:50 PM on July 12


Whoever is running that sad brazillians tumblr just got a lot more content for their blog.
posted by joedan at 2:50 PM on July 12


That goal #3 was actually pretty nice. Pity it had to happen when it did.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:52 PM on July 12


Enjoying that $900 million stadium, eh?
posted by needled at 2:53 PM on July 12


And Maicon tries to kick it out of the stadium.
posted by languagehat at 2:53 PM on July 12


Vorm has been busy during the rest of the tournament winning medals in the secret, underground Fine Young Cannibal lookalike contests that pop up like mushrooms around all major international football events.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:53 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


and thats it. skies the shot and its pretty much game over
posted by marienbad at 2:53 PM on July 12


Peep Peep PEEP! The Netherlands Are Second Of The Losers!
posted by eriko at 2:53 PM on July 12


A very goalfull World Cup, this one...
posted by infini at 2:53 PM on July 12


well that was terrible
posted by elizardbits at 2:53 PM on July 12


The torment has ended. Better luck next time, Brazil.
posted by languagehat at 2:54 PM on July 12


TOMORROW THOUGH

I don't even care who wins I just want to see some proper fucking football from everyone involved
posted by elizardbits at 2:55 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


I'm positively crushed by this shambolic performance of Brazil's. And if you combine this with an Argentine win tomorrow, I fear that the favelas will burn. Terrible day to be a Brazilian futbol fan.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:56 PM on July 12


also i remain heavily emotionally invested in the schweini-merkel hug
posted by elizardbits at 2:56 PM on July 12


> I find it hard to believe they'll actually hold it there. Colombia was supposed to host it in '86 but they took it away because of all the coke violence.

I think that was far more likely a matter the country's ability to afford the stadiums and to provide adequate security for attendees. Qatar is wealthy and can provide any level of crowd control necessary. And as seems to be coming out, the health and welfare of people who are not affiliated with FIFA don't seem to count.
posted by ardgedee at 2:57 PM on July 12


TOMORROW THOUGH

Come on Argentina!!
posted by marienbad at 2:59 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


Come back Pele!
posted by infini at 2:59 PM on July 12


Well MartinWisse is "reveling" because he is a Netherlands fan.

Actually, I was referring the ESPN commentator. Posting just timed awkwardly.
posted by 26.2 at 2:59 PM on July 12


I think you will enjoy to know that Merkel rhymes with Ferkel. That hug would be pure pig's love.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:00 PM on July 12


> Come back Pele!

Seriously, dude is in his sixties and could probably still play better than half of Brazil's starting line today.

At least he'd fucking know where to kick the ball.
posted by ardgedee at 3:00 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


What is this, the Emirates cup?
posted by infini at 3:02 PM on July 12


I guess Brazil can console themselves that they would have lost even if they weren't making cynical fouls that led to penalty kicks.
posted by ardgedee at 3:03 PM on July 12


Ferkel? Was heisst das? Oh, so heisst das.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:03 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


One ITV pundit points out that David Luiz was recently traded for £40 million to pair with Silva and two of the other pundits openly laugh before catching themselves.
posted by ardgedee at 3:04 PM on July 12


I'm guessing there's going to be a lot of shuffling of players once the Cup is over...
posted by infini at 3:06 PM on July 12


> Seriously, dude is in his sixties and could probably still play better than half of Brazil's starting line today.

I was just watching the 1970 final the other day and marveling all over again at that last goal: Clodoaldo to Rivelino to Jairzinho to Pelé to Carlos Alberto, boom. I'll bet a lot of brasileiros are wishing they could have those guys back.
posted by languagehat at 3:08 PM on July 12


David Luiz has always been prone to errors and flake-outs. I don't know how anyone who's followed Chelsea even a bit could say anything else. He's charming, high spirited and fans love his geezer ways. But he's prone to epic - game long space-outs and prone epic game long greatness.

You just never know which one you'll get on any given day.
posted by 26.2 at 3:08 PM on July 12


languagehat, as a fan I'd take those guys back. We've had some really boring games this Cup.
posted by 26.2 at 3:10 PM on July 12


It could be worse, they could be at DashCon.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:11 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]


lol irl
posted by elizardbits at 3:14 PM on July 12


Well, it’s confirmed, North Korea are officially better than England.

Kim Jong-un is a massive odd ball. He controls everything within the media in NK, and his latest stunt has seen him tell all the people in North Korea that they have reached the final of the World Cup!

How did they get there? With results like this:
Japan 7-0
USA 4-0
China 2-0

North Korea will be playing Portugal in the final…Good luck to them!

posted by infini at 3:23 PM on July 12


That's not a first. North Korea also claims to have beaten Brazil 1-0 in the 2010 World Cup. The rest of the world claims Brazil beat DPRK 2-1. The country was probably ready to lie to their citizens all the way to the final round that year as well... but the national TV network made the poor decision of broadcasting DPRK-Portugal live, which ended in a 7-0 defeat. Things went worse for the team once they flew home after losing the third group match.
posted by ardgedee at 4:21 PM on July 12


Pretty sure that North Korea clip is totally, terribly fake. (I don't mean North Korea faked it, but rather someone else faked it so it'd look like North Korea faked it.)
posted by Sys Rq at 6:41 PM on July 12


Is this the game day thread? Schweinsteiger?
posted by wensink at 10:04 AM on July 13


Maracanã!
posted by needled at 10:15 AM on July 13


"Schweinsteiger?"
"Messi?"
"Schweinsteiger!"
"Messi!"
[violins crescendo as the screen fades to black.]
posted by ardgedee at 10:19 AM on July 13


Uh-oh!
posted by sour cream at 10:33 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]


Surely there is an active thread for the final. Where? Please?
posted by syncope at 11:01 AM on July 13


i would tell u but i am still waiting for you to write me that spartacus/true blood xover
posted by elizardbits at 11:18 AM on July 13


Suggest this one as 1000+ comments here are getting kind of creaky.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:19 AM on July 13


I too would like to find this active thread. Or do these comments make this the active thread?

MY REALITY IS BECOMING RECURSIVE
posted by LooseFilter at 11:19 AM on July 13


Someone summon German Matt Damon to light our way to the active thread.
posted by Dr. Zira at 11:23 AM on July 13


So,my flight is delayed and I'll miss the final. And my ride home. And I heard rumours of Lahm in the midfield.

Anyway, hope Germany wins it tonight!

(and someone let me know where the active thread is)
posted by ersatz at 11:28 AM on July 13


Godric gets really tired of how haughty the Romans are about their "ancient" culture. He watches his host munching on mice and thinks about how the whole concept of society was formed around the idea of keeping vermin out of grain stores so the most people could live. He wishes he could still yawn in a natural way.

At least high caste Romans are so lazy they sleep until dusk so he doesn't have to hide, doesn't stand out for him pallor.

"Your accent, you're from Germania?" Lucretia suckles on the head of a fish, her eyes attempting neutrality but barely managing to not seem feral.

If he was a contemporary, this would be the kind of rudeness that would be defensible for throttling her, if not outright killing her. As it is, he isn't from Germania and can't take offense at this new kind of vermin that should be erased.

"Yes," he answers. He watches the artery at her right temple throb and considers eating.

He's too bored to bother.

*

Now, link me.
posted by syncope at 11:36 AM on July 13 [4 favorites]


omg
posted by elizardbits at 11:42 AM on July 13


Is this the thread for the final?
posted by infini at 11:45 AM on July 13


I dunno but I just hear that Kehdira (German midfielder) is not playing due to injury...
posted by From Bklyn at 11:50 AM on July 13


THIS IS THE CURRENT WORLD CUP FINAL THREAD.
posted by marienbad at 11:51 AM on July 13


It will crash with the number of comments. However, the commentators are very excited (in Finnish) in a way they weren't yesterday...
posted by infini at 12:08 PM on July 13


Wouldn't be a final if goals were that easy to get...
posted by infini at 12:11 PM on July 13


« Older James Jones, the author of From Here to Eternity, ...  |  New research finds a correlati... Newer »


You are not currently logged in. Log in or create a new account to post comments.