For those with things worth turning down for

July 11, 2014 11:43 AM

"Turn Down for What": a Guide
posted by ardgedee (40 comments total)

Don't say: "turn down for what".
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:45 AM on July 11, 2014 [5 favorites]

Tequila Police is my new DJ name.
posted by 1adam12 at 11:51 AM on July 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

But what if I WANT an uncontrollably thrusty multicultural group of people to smash through my ceiling?
posted by elizardbits at 11:52 AM on July 11, 2014 [17 favorites]

Every day, Metafilter becomes a little more indistinguishable from Buzzfeed.
posted by ryanshepard at 11:53 AM on July 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

I say with complete sincerity that I absolutely needed this explained to me and I feel more enlightened now that I understand it.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:53 AM on July 11, 2014 [19 favorites]

this was useful info for me
posted by sweetkid at 11:53 AM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Turn Down for Voxsplaining
posted by DigDoug at 11:55 AM on July 11, 2014 [5 favorites]

But rarely is the question asked: turn down for whom?
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:56 AM on July 11, 2014 [14 favorites]

This seems like a good place to put this.
posted by Itaxpica at 11:58 AM on July 11, 2014 [9 favorites]

Young-person-splaining, perhaps.
posted by emjaybee at 11:58 AM on July 11, 2014

This song always calls to mind Ray Smuckles Decision Making Chart. Turn down for what? A funeral, I want to shout. It is not your business to turn up a funeral.
posted by barchan at 12:00 PM on July 11, 2014 [21 favorites]

When I first heard this song, I thought the words were "Friday night, another brother shot", and that it was a reference to earlier this year when a black kid was killed because his music was too loud. Hoo boy was I wrong.
posted by schoolgirl report at 12:01 PM on July 11, 2014

But rarely is the question asked: turn down for whom?


Ask not for whom the down turns, it turns for thee...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:03 PM on July 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh, I like this song!
posted by shothotbot at 12:03 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Turn down" is a well-wrought phrase because it has a dual meaning:

1. You might 'turn down' a round of shots
2. But then, you risk 'turning down' the general amplitude of the evening

Friend, wouldst thou so easily turn down thy shots, and with it our'n festivities?
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:04 PM on July 11, 2014 [6 favorites]

barchan, thank you for reminding me that chart exists. My day was just made much better.
posted by Itaxpica at 12:08 PM on July 11, 2014

Whenever I see a set of parentheses containing an explanation of a slang term, I know that article should not have been written.
posted by mhoye at 12:12 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Between this and 528's burrito bracket, we truly are living in a golden age of data-driven journalism.
posted by whir at 12:17 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

But what if I WANT an uncontrollably thrusty multicultural group of people to smash through my ceiling?

Simply yell "HEY, KOOL-AID PURPLE DRANK!"
posted by Spatch at 12:20 PM on July 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

I cannot believe the shoddy state of research here! I mean, the man was specifically asked what one should turn down for!

Bonus, the witty as hell reply later. Ho HO, well then!
posted by Stunt at 12:29 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

I just know this as 'ohshitthesquatsong" as we do squats to this song in my Zumba class on Monday & Wednesday evenings. Straight up squats, just squats, only squats. TURN DOWN FOR SQUAT.
posted by raztaj at 12:43 PM on July 11, 2014 [13 favorites]

Turn Down for Voxsplaining

Read Vox for what?
posted by RogerB at 12:51 PM on July 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

During his return from India with the scrolls of the Sapphire Sutra*, Lil Jon was passing through the country near Mt. Emei, and stopped at the monastery of Wannian. There the monks asked him to impart some piece of wisdom he had acquired during his travels and studies. To this, Lil Jon replied, "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?"

This created some confusion amongst the monks. Eventually, a novice approached Lil Jon and asked him, "Master, what is the one thing that I should turn down for?" To which Lil Jon replied, "SLEEEEPPPPPP OR THE POLICE."

This created further confusion, with the Monks being unable to determine whether "turning down" for physical necessity or some form of external authority represented a meritorious act, or if it should be considered a source of negative karma. Again the novice approached Lil Jon, saying, "Master, we still do not understand. Is 'turning down' in these situations a necessary act, or should one strive to avoid it?" To this, Lil Jon replied, "TEQUILA POLICE."

And in this way, the monks were enlightened.



*Note: the existence of the Sapphire Sutra has never been confirmed, and it is only known through brief accounts in other texts. Very little is actually known about its contents, or its contributions to Buddhist theology.

posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:55 PM on July 11, 2014 [16 favorites]

Truly a landmark moment in explanatory journalism (or "actually journalism", I forget who coined that.) I find Vox straddles the line between useful and irritating way too often. It's ultimately just another form of clickbait, one with a set of pretensions that Buzzfeed doesn't have for all its faults.
posted by naju at 1:09 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

In high school, my friends and I would go to a nearby hole in the wall diner to hang out. I almost always ordered chicken parm (after much dithering), which was the blandest and most acceptable thing on the menu. Eventually I realized that the hole in the wall diner offered other things that were just as fine, but weren't as bland as plain ol' chicken.

Chicken parm is not worth turning down for.
posted by supermassive at 1:12 PM on July 11, 2014

holy ſhit I am so olde
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 1:15 PM on July 11, 2014 [10 favorites]

Um, I actually found myself googling "what does 'turn down for what' mean?" the other day, which is when I knew I had fully reached my destiny as a thirty-something past-cool white person: old enough to not know what it means, young enough to want to know what it means, and earnest/dorky enough to google it.

But hell, I really like that song.
posted by lunasol at 1:15 PM on July 11, 2014 [10 favorites]

I find it easier to understand if you substitute "MAINTAIN" for turn down, ala Cheech and Chong. Like when the police roll up, you should MAINTAIN, or alternatively, turn down.
posted by Big_B at 1:15 PM on July 11, 2014

Um, I actually found myself googling "what does 'turn down for what' mean?" the other day, which is when I knew I had fully reached my destiny as a thirty-something past-cool white person

I'm in my 40s.

I just, today, because of this FPP, found out that this was even a thing.

So.... I guess, it gets better ?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 1:18 PM on July 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, reading this brings to life my favorite thought-experiment of time-traveling to, say, the fifties and explaining 4chan to someone. Except, here, I am the fifties.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 1:20 PM on July 11, 2014

Thanks to this thread I found out that my favorite burrito place is on the 538 bracket. I'm cool again world!
posted by Big_B at 1:28 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

"TEQUILA POLICE" actually brought another Achewood strip immediately to mind.
posted by thecaddy at 1:37 PM on July 11, 2014 [11 favorites]

Man, that is an old strip. Cornelius incapable of describing a bourbon? Is such a thing even possible?
posted by evidenceofabsence at 3:22 PM on July 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

OK, folks, I'm a 50yo white, middle-class male, and about 20 seconds into the video I understood everything the article had to say about what "turned down" means.

This is sad, when this painfully obvious "counterculture jargon" needs explanation.

Next on Buzzfeed: "What kind of mule is Dat Ass, anyway?"
posted by IAmBroom at 3:37 PM on July 11, 2014

Ezra Klein on why he created Vox.com: "My interest here is entirely about building a truly significant, central news property for the digital age, that if it succeeds — and it definitely might not — will be a huge company that is devoted to helping people, like a Wikipedia or New York Times."

Oh, Ezra.
posted by Ouverture at 4:43 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

None of those things are worth turning down for!
posted by scose at 4:47 PM on July 11, 2014

OK, folks, I'm a 50yo white, middle-class male, and about 20 seconds into the video I understood everything the article had to say about what "turned down" means.

This is sad, when this painfully obvious "counterculture jargon" needs explanation.

In my lame defense, I've never watched the video, just heard the song random places. It's really not obvious from the limited lyrics.
posted by lunasol at 6:04 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

It wasn't the being baffled about "turnt down", so much as needing to have "loud" explained to me that made me feel like I've reached the In Bed By 7 phase of my life. Oi vey...

I am definitely Vox's target market.
posted by dry white toast at 10:19 PM on July 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Todd in the Shadows review of the song.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:00 AM on July 12, 2014

Quick translation for Metafilter: "why again should i get off your lawn?"
posted by OHenryPacey at 1:45 PM on July 14, 2014 [1 favorite]