Whosoever wields this hammer, if she be worthy...
July 15, 2014 12:17 PM   Subscribe

Marvel Announces New Thor In an interview on The View, author Jason Aaron and artist Russell Dauterman announced a new ongoing Thor series.

Not everyone is pleased, but this is not the first time Mjolnir has changed hands (or Thor has changed bodies) in the 616 continuity.
posted by kagredon (127 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
i'm pretty stoked to see what they do with this. the comments below all the writeups out there are unintentionally hilarious.
posted by nadawi at 12:26 PM on July 15, 2014


I'm in. Someone should let that little girl from Adventures in Babysitting know about this.
posted by ZeusHumms at 12:34 PM on July 15, 2014 [36 favorites]


Mjolnir has previously been wielded by not just the aforementioned horse-skulled alien killing machine, but also Superman, Rogue, Storm, Wonder Woman, and a frog in Central Park.

This really seems standard comic book style shenanigans. Like that time Loki inhabited the body of Lady Sif for a while.
posted by themadthinker at 12:37 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


"This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before."

So, what does one call the unworthy son of Odin now?
posted by ursus_comiter at 12:40 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


Superman and Wonder Woman?
posted by whir at 12:40 PM on July 15, 2014


The actual Thor was a woman in the (alt. universe) Earth X series, so this doesn't even clear that bar.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:41 PM on July 15, 2014


I'm excited by this and will probably start reading Thor as a result. Marvel's definitely been getting my attention over the past couple of years with their standalone titles featuring women.
posted by angelchrys at 12:43 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


Mjolnir has previously been wielded by not just the aforementioned horse-skulled alien killing machine, but also Superman, Rogue, Storm, Wonder Woman, and a frog in Central Park.

Let's clarify.

There was the time that Thor was transformed into a frog in Central Park, then regained the power of Thor.

Then there was the time that a frog in Central Park gained the power of Thor via a sliver of Mjolnir. And kept it. And Thor was completely cool with that.

The fact that one has to ask "WHICH Frog Thor do you mean" tells you just about all you need to know about comics.
posted by delfin at 12:49 PM on July 15, 2014 [114 favorites]


Frog Thor looks remarkably like Trogdor.
posted by oulipian at 12:55 PM on July 15, 2014


FOG-THOR! FOG-THOR! Frog-Thor was a man! I mean, he was a frog-man, Or maybe he was just a frog ...
posted by maxsparber at 12:58 PM on July 15, 2014 [13 favorites]


I think the term hamfisted was invented to describe comic book writers.
posted by Catblack at 1:14 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


This could be great, but I wish somebody at Marvel would do something interesting with the one true Captain Marvel: Monica Rambeau.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:27 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


Fog Thor, of course, refers to the Errol Morris documentary The Fog of Thor.
posted by maxsparber at 1:28 PM on July 15, 2014 [5 favorites]




Jason Aaron is at pains to point out that this isn’t just a female version of Thor; “This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before.”

Somewhere, Alan Moore is smiling.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:32 PM on July 15, 2014


"This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita."

I would totally read a Thorita comic. She would be in a crossover with Wonderella, matching her drink for drink, gin vs. vodka, in a contest of the DEMIGODS!

Meanwhile, in the background, Galactus is chowing down on Earth. As he does.
posted by happyroach at 1:35 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I like how her armor has a giant hole in the middle. Is that to show that she's so tough that her armor is just for show?
posted by bleep at 1:40 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


I just hope they get rid of that boob-plate (but honestly, its inclusion doesn't surprise me).
posted by CancerMan at 1:41 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yeah, her armor is dumb, but:

1) she exists
2) there's time to fix that

And she's still a comic book super hero, so her armor's ability to deflect blows actually isn't as important to me as it would be in a more realist(ish) setting. I'd be happier if it were better, but that's true of many things.
posted by kavasa at 1:47 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Thor is one of those characters who has to 'go away' for awhile every so often to keep the Marvel Universe functioning. He's a Chaotic Good powerhouse - if he was from Metropolis, Lex Luthor would have been beaten into a pancake long ago - so he goes through this constant cycle of start out, gain power, overreach, get punished, start over again.

I'm all for a woman picking up Mjolnir and thereby getting the powers of Thor. If a frog can do it, a genetically modified alien can do it, and half of the Marvel universe can do it (in Fear Itself), then anyone can. It would have been nice for them to say who said woman was when she was not holding the hammer (I suspect Angela, the recently acquired and retconned sibling of Thor and Loki), but can understand holding something back for SDCC in a few weeks.

I'm more interested in why the hell Disney execs thought The View was the best venue for the news.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:47 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


Frog-Thor was a man! I mean, he was a frog-man, Or maybe he was just a frog ...

Hilariously enough, Throg(-dor) was a man. It's complicated.
posted by kagredon at 1:48 PM on July 15, 2014


I wonder why they made this choice instead of, say, developing a character was originally female.
posted by clockzero at 1:50 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


disney owns abc, the view is on abc, the view has been in the headlines for all the wrong reasons lately, they're in the middle of rebranding the view - i can totally see disney going, "sure, give the view a hot topic that is sure to hit hard and has nothing to do with elizabeth hasselbeck or who will be on the new panel."
posted by nadawi at 1:51 PM on July 15, 2014


i don't really understand the critique of why make thor a lady instead of developing an already lady character. it's not like marvel is kicking out all women and just keeping the new thor. there is a growing group women led stories and this is just another one for a while (until it all reverts, which it's sure to, and then maybe this new thor will get her own spin off).
posted by nadawi at 1:53 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is cool, and it makes me happy, but the inherent 'high beams' joke in this image makes me really uncomfortable. I can't unsee it.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:54 PM on July 15, 2014


If a frog can do it, a genetically modified alien can do it, and half of the Marvel universe can do it

Birds do it
Bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
posted by octobersurprise at 1:54 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Angela, the recently acquired and retconned sibling of Thor and Loki

Angela, the sibling of Thor and Loki

Angela


oh dear.
posted by winna at 1:54 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


winna, perhaps I'm dim, but is there a reason that's especially bad? Or just the general strangeness of a modern anglo name in a faux-Norse context?
posted by kavasa at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2014


Speaking only for myself, I didn't mean my comment above to be a critique of this decision. I'm just curious about why they decided this and not some other way.
posted by clockzero at 1:58 PM on July 15, 2014


Yeah, it's the Angela combined with Loki and Thor that is killing me.

I'm sure there's some sort of reason in the story, but it is an awful juxtaposition.
posted by winna at 1:58 PM on July 15, 2014


Well, she's called Angela because she's an angel. It doesn't really get any less silly from there, to be honest.
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:04 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


The Top Five Non-Thor Mjolnir Wielders

I like how nearly every character that wields Mjolnir gets a Thor outfit just like his, except Wonder Woman who somehow gets even more nakeder, and Captain America who pretty much remains Captain America because America.
posted by Hoopo at 2:07 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Marvel characters have a long history of having 'Mexican non-union equivalents' running around, (Captain America has: Crazy Cap and Winter Soldier. Iron Man has War Machine. Hulk has She-Hulk and Red Hulk and I guess Red She-Hulk. And so on) so I guess it was time for Thor to get another one to go along with Beta-Ray Bill.

I'm guessing that their focus on 'No, SHE IS THOR' is so people keep picking up the main Thor book which would feature her as the lead while 'Unworthy Thor' nomads around in a new title. Thor will eventually get Mjolnir back, and the new Thor will spin off into her own book.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:07 PM on July 15, 2014 [4 favorites]


Well, she's called Angela because she's an angel. It doesn't really get any less silly from there, to be honest.

I thought we were avoiding inadvertent associations with Spawn these days
posted by kagredon at 2:07 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


Came in to call out the boobplate and convenient-for-spearing midriff hole, glad to see Mefi was already on it.

I am not all that excited, I guess because it's obviously not a long-term thing. She'll be Thor for a while, then she'll stop, everything goes back to however it was. Eh.
posted by emjaybee at 2:08 PM on July 15, 2014


I wonder how long the series will run until Thor eventually regains Mjolnir.

I hope it's a good long time.
posted by supermassive at 2:09 PM on July 15, 2014


I thought we were avoiding inadvertent associations with Spawn these days

Wait, I think it actually _is_ that Angela.
posted by kmz at 2:11 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


Wait, I think it actually _is_ that Angela.

I just Googled and it looks like you're right?

I stopped following the whole Angela thing like 4 lawsuits ago I'm not ready for this
posted by kagredon at 2:13 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yeah, it is.

COMICS, EVERYBODY
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:14 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


Yup. The dream of the 90s is alive at Marvel.
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:21 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Honestly I don't really mind complicated continuities as long as they're done right. Mixing and remixing stories has happened since the beginning of time. Etruscan/Greek/Roman gods were like one of the first big multiverse crossover events!
posted by kmz at 2:25 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


Pretty cool. I really like Jason Aaron's Thor even though it's been basically one arc played out three times in the new series, so I'll definitely be on board to see the same arc played out another couple of times but with a woman.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:26 PM on July 15, 2014


I would watch the hell out of a $200 million Frog Thor movie.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:33 PM on July 15, 2014 [12 favorites]


I'm pretty sure depending on box office returns Guardians of the Galaxy goes, Marvel would be up for making one if they think Frog Thor could get asses in the seats.

Note: my ass will totally be in the seat for the real movie and would be for the imagined Frog Thor and probably all its sequels.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:44 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


I wish somebody at Marvel would do something interesting with the one true Captain Marvel: Monica Rambeau.

She used to run The Avengers, apparently.
posted by Grangousier at 2:50 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Whats the percentage of female writers and illustrators at Marvel right now?
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:11 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


I thought I was pretty up to date with Marvel but the reveal that Angela is Thor's sister is news to me. What issue was this? (I know in one of the Original Sin comics Thor finds out he has a sister but I don't remember it being said that the sister was Angela)

As far as this being a stunt or not, I just hope they make the new Thor a good character for however long she happens to be around and give her some kind of role in the Marvel Universe once the "real" Thor comes back (something bigger than what Beta Ray Bill has would be nice).
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:16 PM on July 15, 2014


Also, does Thor wear armour all that often? His outfit looks more like a tunic and leggings to me. (Although the Olivier Coipel design did have full chain mail)
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:21 PM on July 15, 2014


Whats the percentage of female writers and illustrators at Marvel right now?

Really awful, is the short answer. Um... about three current books have female writers, and I can't think of any women with a regular art gig, although there are women doing covers.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:32 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


(Arguably one of those writers - Robin Furth - is not a comic book writer per se, but a notable person who is writing a comic book, lbut I don't think that makes a huge difference...)
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:33 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


She used to run The Avengers, apparently.

"Running" the Avengers might be a slight exaggeration.

(Monica did lead the Avengers for about a year our-time before learning that being made of electricity and contacting the ocean aren't a good combination. She was a difficult character to write as a team player because her powers were so far off the charts; how do you challenge someone who controls the whole electromagnetic spectrum, can be invisible and intangible and can fly and react at the speed of light?)
posted by delfin at 3:35 PM on July 15, 2014


Thora is the actual feminine version of Thor namewise. No need for this 'Thorita' stuff
posted by Zalzidrax at 3:45 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


...so I guess it was time for Thor to get another one to go along with Beta-Ray Bill.

You forgot Thunderstrike. You may remember him from the Avengers: Galactic Storm game, which featured basically none of the Avengers characters you know and love.
posted by griphus at 3:54 PM on July 15, 2014


Check out her arms! For once we didn't get a waif. She's got the exact build of an undoped female Olympic weightlifter. She looks like a viking, as she should. Awesome.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:54 PM on July 15, 2014 [5 favorites]


You forgot Thunderstrike. You may remember him from the Avengers: Galactic Storm game, which featured basically none of the Avengers characters you know and love.

I also forgot Hercules. I remove my cloak of nerdom and don the cosplay of shame.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:04 PM on July 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


This is cool but not cool enough to make up for cancelling Hawkeye. Kate Bishop is pretty much my favorite character right now and no amount of genderswap Thor is gonna make up for that :(
posted by NoraReed at 4:08 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is cool but not cool enough to make up for cancelling Hawkeye.

Whoa, really? Aww, Marvel >:|
posted by kagredon at 4:14 PM on July 15, 2014


And meanwhile, Archie is going to die by gunfire. (But I guess we already talked about that.)

They're getting really desperate, aren't they?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:19 PM on July 15, 2014


wait hawkeye is cancelled when why how
posted by griphus at 4:22 PM on July 15, 2014




Lots of people being Thor-heads on the internet today.
posted by wotsac at 4:27 PM on July 15, 2014


Thora is the actual feminine version of Thor namewise. No need for this 'Thorita' stuff

Thordis
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:27 PM on July 15, 2014


I wish somebody at Marvel would do something interesting with the one true Captain Marvel: Monica Rambeau.

She used to run The Avengers, apparently.


She's currently field leader of The Mighty Avengers. It's pretty good.
posted by Artw at 4:31 PM on July 15, 2014


wait hawkeye is cancelled when why how


As of #22. Probably because Fraction's Sex Criminals is doing well. Details on the last few issues.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:33 PM on July 15, 2014


Frog Thor starring Kermit
posted by blue_beetle at 4:38 PM on July 15, 2014




If there is any justice in this universe, Gina Torres will play Thor in a future Marvel movie. There simply cannot be someone more God-like than she.
posted by petrilli at 5:32 PM on July 15, 2014 [6 favorites]


I will give all of my vast interweb wealth for the new Thor to be Darcy Lewis and her mighty hammer, Mew-Mew.
posted by nicebookrack at 5:38 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I just hope they get rid of that boob-plate (but honestly, its inclusion doesn't surprise me).

I'm just happy she has pants and a cape that covers her butt. In a medium where things like Witchblade exist the inclusion of pants is equivalent to women getting the right to vote.
posted by schroedinger at 6:00 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I didn't get the impression that Hawkeye was cancelled as much as Fraction et al are deciding not to continue. And, honestly, I'd prefer that it end than to be diluted with another writer, or even a different group of artists (though I've loved the addition of Annie Wu. Her Kate faces are the best faces ever.)

Rest assured, with the way the delays have been going for the past year, we might have another year of Hawkeye to go.

Also, Kate Bishop can now get her own stand-alone now, right? ... Right? Okay, America Chavez can come too.

I heard that Marvel was going to announce something BIG on the view yesterday, so I got super excited that they were going to announce a lady-led superhero movie, because they're not going to announce comics news on The View, psh, that's crazy talk. And I'd gotten so sure that it was going to be a female led superhero movie that I'd already come up with possible plots and fancastings for a half dozen of them and was contemplating who would be the most awesome director for a Squirrel Girl movie when the female Thor stuff hit. So I was a little disappointed, but it was my own doing. This still seems pretty cool, and I'll definitely check it out.

My one hope is that Thor continues to be the standard that all other superheroes feel inadequate against. Also, that they keep the art from going the way of Fearless Defenders.
posted by dinty_moore at 6:13 PM on July 15, 2014


As for Marvel and female creators - I think that DC is currently doing better on that front. Which should tell you exactly how bad Marvel has been.
posted by dinty_moore at 6:28 PM on July 15, 2014


Why couldn't she just be Freya and wield Mjolnir?
posted by Renoroc at 6:42 PM on July 15, 2014


I don't think Odin could wield Mjolnir at this point.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:21 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Thor Odinsson and New Thor should call each other "Thor," a la the Hawkeyes Kate and Clint.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:33 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Also, WRT models for FemThor: Annie Thorisdottir [GIS]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:04 PM on July 15, 2014


The Card Cheat- I would watch the hell out of a $200 million Frog Thor movie.
blue_beetle- Frog Thor starring Kermit

No, seriously. Who do we get to do the greenscreen and the voice for Throg?
posted by porpoise at 8:50 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Dwayne Johnson.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:56 PM on July 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


Disney owns the Muppets, y'all. It could happen.

Also Miss Piggy has the karate-chops to pull off Black Widow.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:57 PM on July 15, 2014


Oh hey I really liked Hawkeye :-( Sex Criminals and Satellite Sam were yawn city.
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:06 PM on July 15, 2014


@whir: Versus (for the instance of Superman).
posted by koavf at 9:21 PM on July 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


I will miss Hawkeye so much and it hasn't even released 2 regular issues since I started reading it. I'm pinning all my dreams on Clint getting Hawkguy characterization in Age of Ultron, because I need this superhero-style slice-of-life to continue. Is Secret Avengers worth reading? I have actively avoided it to preserve my mental image of "Hawkguy and Coulson IN SPAAAAAACE."

Crap, need a Thor-related comment. Would Lady Loki be cheating as non-male Thor? Also, conclusions after Thor 1 looping on work TVs today: Sif could out-Thor Thor any damn day; Frigga too; Coulson has mellowed a LOT since New Mexico. And Clint waits around in the rain to accomplish nothing and snark about it, The End. Oh, Hawkguy.
posted by nicebookrack at 10:35 PM on July 15, 2014


Yeah, if this is temporary, I'm okay with it and think it is nice, if it's permanent, I think it's gimmicky as fuck and join those saying that we'd like to see an original lady character that they promote strongly rather than them just genderswapping existing characters.
posted by corb at 3:19 AM on July 16, 2014


It's temporary. There's a huge-budget movie coming out in a year's time with a male Thor. It'll switch back.
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:09 AM on July 16, 2014


Is Secret Avengers worth reading? I have actively avoided it to preserve my mental image of "Hawkguy and Coulson IN SPAAAAAACE."

I'm reading it, and my reaction is mostly a shrug and an 'eh, maybe?' It's definitely not Hawkeye, but it's funny and bombastic and a lot better than the last run of Secret Avengers. It's also an ensemble, and Clint and Coulson don't really interact that much, and it's definitely not slice of life. This panel is pretty true to the tone.

I'm also kind of meh on the art, but Michael Walsh isn't horrible. It just doesn't gel for me with the writing the same that some other writer/artist combos do.

I'm honestly having trouble thinking of things to recommend to people who liked Hawkeye, because it really did seem like it was the best at what it does. The closest I can get is saying that you should check out Fraction and Aja's run on Iron Fist, but even that has a different feel to it.
posted by dinty_moore at 4:14 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


The last time this happened.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:01 AM on July 16, 2014


Frog Thor starring Kermit? Ask and ye shall receive.
posted by lovecrafty at 5:56 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]




The meme that reached imgur's front page makes me annoyed. I doubt the revealers said that Thor was female specifically and only to empower women. You can just feel like making a female character, you know.
posted by halifix at 9:10 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yeah, that's obnoxious. In various iterations, Thor has already been a space alien, an elderly Christian priest, a zombie, a dog, the Herald of Galactus, and a woman named Jane Foster. It's a bit much to stamp your feet now and say "Thor was always one way and that's how he should stay." It's also wrong, just factually wrong, and if you didn't complain about Thor-El, you might want to shut your trap now.
posted by maxsparber at 9:26 AM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Well, remember what happened when Idris Elba was cast as Heimdall? People get super upset about the weirdest things.
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:33 AM on July 16, 2014


(Like, I was crazy angry that Elba!Heimdall didn't at any point get to pilot a giant robot. Or hold an armful of puppies.)
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:44 AM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Perusing the Wikipedia pages about the Marvel Asgard and its inhabitants is not exactly impressive (“Odin Force?" Really?). I’ll take the original Norse version and not this parody of my people’s old mythology, thank you very much.

But, there should be a comic about dressing up (Scandinavia and the World link).

As for Thor being a woman? Not a problem. One of the classic tales of Thor involved him cross-dressing as Freja to get Mjølner back from the giant Trym by agreeing to marry him.
posted by bouvin at 10:09 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Well, remember what happened when Idris Elba was cast as Heimdall? People get super upset about the weirdest things.

Imagine how they're gonna feel when Captain America is announced to be black tonight.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:23 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


OMG FALCAP don't you tease me with Sam unless you mean it!
posted by nicebookrack at 11:12 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


FALCAP CONFIRMED!!
posted by nicebookrack at 8:52 PM on July 16, 2014


I LOVE IT WHEN OTHER PEOPLE BE CAPTAIN AMERICA

I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT FALCAP

THOUGH NOT SURE HOW IT WOULD WORK BECAUSE DOES THIS MEAN BUCKY HAS TO LEARN TO FLY AND THEN START THROWING SAM AT THINGS BECAUSE THAT WAS BASICALLY WHAT BUCKYCAP DID CONSTANTLY
posted by NoraReed at 8:56 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


YES THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS

BUCKY'S METAL ARM WILL GET A HELICOPTER ATTACHMENT, LIKE AN EGGBEATER
posted by nicebookrack at 9:16 PM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


ALSO THIS WOULD BE A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE AND MAKE ME BE THE NEW FALCON WHILE SAM WILSON MENTORS ME

I LITERALLY HAD A DREAM WHERE THAT HAPPENS

I KEEP TAKING EFFEXOR IN HOPES IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN
posted by NoraReed at 9:21 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT STEPHEN COLBERT FOR IT

ALSO ME, BECAUSE BOO, I NEVER GET COOL EFFEXOR DREAMS, SO NYAH

ALSO I AM SUPER TORN NOW OVER WHO SHOULD BE MCU CAPTAIN AMERICA TWO NOW, MOVIE BUCKY OR MOVIE SAM

CAN WE GET CAPTAINS AMERICA PLEASE?
posted by nicebookrack at 9:26 PM on July 16, 2014


NO WE NEED AN MCU NATCAP. SAM'S MCU COSTUME IS WAY TOO COOL TO MAKE HIM CHANGE OUT OF IT AND BUCKY HAS WAY TOO MUCH SHIT TO DEAL WITH FIRST

ALSO THAT WAY ALL OF THE CAPTEAM GETS TO BE CAP SOMETIMES

I HOPE STEVE KEEPS HANGING AROUND AS STEVE THOUGH BECAUSE FRANKLY I LIKE HIM A LOT BETTER WHEN HE'S NOT BEING CAPTAIN AMERICA
posted by NoraReed at 9:30 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm 99% positive it'll be Buckycap next, since Sebastian Stan signed on for NINE movies, as opposed to Chris Evans's six. Now might be a good time for Anthony Mackie's agent to start negotiating for some more moolah.
posted by lovecrafty at 9:31 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I really like the comics dynamic when Steve is dead and Sam, Nat and Bucky all sort of carry the mantle together for a while, with Nat usually planning things/coordinating/being the brains of the operation + backup and Sam flying around throwing BuckyCap at bad guys. They work well together.
posted by NoraReed at 9:35 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


also lol at "OfficialFalcon" on Twitter:
Fake geek boys not knowing that the first and original captain america was actually black
posted by NoraReed at 9:44 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I love all of that idea except for the part with Steve the fluffy golden puppy being dead. I vote Steve falls into a black hole; CapTeam Trio has a 3-4 movie run; have a good vacation directing, Chris Evans, we'll see you in 5-6 years for The Search for Steve!

And then Steve decides plummeting to your icy death twice is enough, thanks, so he's going to draw cartoons for the New Yorker and let CapTeam handle things capably, and they can call for Rogers Backup when really needed. For the crisis crossover Avengers teamup every 3 years or so.
posted by nicebookrack at 9:47 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't have a lot of confidence in even the MCU doing a very good job of keeping anybody dead. (And if they do kill somebody off, I hope to god it's Iron Man, because he sort of steals every movie he's in and frankly I think Penny and Rhodes could do just fine without him. I like him, but watching everybody struggle along in his absence would be interesting.)

I also would probably do a murder to see a movie or TV show in which these characters do normal boring human stuff with each other and are friends. Any of the Avengers + their supporting casts, really. MCUThor and Steve and Bucky all get help from everyone else adjusting to the real world, Sam helping them find good therapists to hire, etc. I guess this is why I read fanfiction, though.
posted by NoraReed at 9:56 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Nobody ever dies for real in the comics, and that'll probably continue in the movies. Of that oft-quoted saying about Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben being the only people who stay dead in comics, only Uncle Ben is still dead.

I don't really care how we get to Buckycap and Falcap, except PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE CIVIL WAR. Ugh. I keep telling myself FOX owns the mutants, so we won't get Civil War, but... I worry.
posted by lovecrafty at 10:08 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I mean, look at Coulson. Not even Whedon could keep him really dead.
posted by lovecrafty at 10:09 PM on July 16, 2014


oh I forgot about Coulson, I take back what I said about killing Iron Man, kill him for real
posted by NoraReed at 10:11 PM on July 16, 2014


Did the mutants not basically sit out Civil War?
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:27 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


The X-Men took an officially neutral stance (which doesn't make any damn sense but ANYWAY), but I think what lovecrafty means is that it's a mutant supergroup* fucking up big time in the line of duty that kicks off the whole thing?

Civil War doesn't really make sense in the MCU as it exists now, because it's a very small pool of powered people, who are already known to the government through SHIELD (although I guess the events of CA:TWS kind of breaks that down a little, as does the implications that Nick Fury has repeatedly been pressured to hand over more information to the shady higher-ups, and certain allusions in AoS to the emergence of more superpowered people through various means), so the idea that implementing widespread registration would be A Thing just sort of doesn't work in the absence of huge changes in the status quo**.

* a group of superheroes, I mean, not, like...a band.
** cough cough COSMIC CUBE*** cough cough MASSIVE POWER AWAKENING
*** did you know Wikipedia has a "Fictional Cubes" category?

posted by kagredon at 10:37 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


But it started because of M-Day when Scarlet Witch zapped a bunch of mutant powers away? Making a superpowers registration act feasible? Ugh, I don't remember. Stop making me think Civil War has a chance of happening in the MCU!
posted by lovecrafty at 10:39 PM on July 16, 2014


Hold on. Civil War was the New Warriors blowing up Stamford, CT, right? And then the Superpower Registration Act.

(At which point you can see why the X-Men would say "Oh, you want our help to fight/support a registration act, eh? You know what? SCREW YOU GUYS!")

I think the main problem would definitely be that, as of the end of The Winter Soldier (and Season 1 of Agents of SHIELD) there are about ten superheroes worth thinking about on Earth, and that's if you include Hawkeye (not actually a superhuman), Black Widow (ditto) and The Winter Soldier (metal arm). That would be... anticlimactic.
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:48 PM on July 16, 2014


I also would probably do a murder to see a movie or TV show in which these characters do normal boring human stuff with each other and are friends. Any of the Avengers + their supporting casts, really. MCUThor and Steve and Bucky all get help from everyone else adjusting to the real world, Sam helping them find good therapists to hire, etc. I guess this is why I read fanfiction, though.

Relevant Tumblr sequence that I pinterest-pinned with ferocity!

I think I enjoyed early "Agents of SHIELD" episodes more than many people because I was like, "yesss, more, MORE scenes of people playing Scrabble on the giant death ship!!!" And whatever scenes like that are in Age of Ultron are already my favorites.

God bless fanfic. It keeps me mostly sane and keeps me from reading reams of mediocre chicklit/apocalpytfic/romance/novels about people running bakeries, because all of my needs in that area are met right here, in lovingly polished fic form.
posted by nicebookrack at 10:50 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


"Hey, guys, I thought I'd put a contact list together! I've got a basic table pulled from SHIELD's databases, but, well, I figure everyone probably changed their phone number after it got released to the whole world, right? Anyway, let me know."

"Stark, I didn't blow up THREE flying aircraft carriers for you to start sending me screamer gifs again."

CUT to It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia-style title card
THE GANG STARTS A WAR
posted by kagredon at 10:56 PM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


But it started because of M-Day when Scarlet Witch zapped a bunch of mutant powers away?

Wasn't that the Big Marvel Fiasco before Civil War? House of M? Where Hawkeye and Ant-Man died? Yeah, you need Scarlet Witch for that one to work. But IIRC the events that kicked off Civil War was some unlicenced superteens fucking something up and innocent bystanders getting killed.

I don't think Civil War would work nearly as well in the MCU for a lot of reasons. MCU Tony seems like a lot more of a maverick; I doubt he'd go along with the government's plans to register the supers. But the bigger thing is that the MCU has way, way less supers around. Civil War really leaned on the many decades of new heroes and teams and stuff, because they had to be able to have at least 20+ people on each side in New York alone and the Runaways hanging out in LA so that there was a team that people could leave and join. And I think some people in Canada too.

Relevant Tumblr sequence that I pinterest-pinned with ferocity!

I think that's what planted this idea in my head. I just don't care as much about Thor. And in the comics, at least, Loki would not be yelling at any toasters. I mean, I'm not anywhere near caught up on Loki's adventures, but I've been reading some of the Kid Loki stuff and I'm pretty sure he gets Leah an iPad at some point. Watching Loki try to learn about humanity from the internet was actually one of the best parts of that storyline, as I recall it.
posted by NoraReed at 10:56 PM on July 16, 2014


P.S. noting for posterity: between the new Thor who is a woman and Sam Wilson as Captain America, from July 15-17, 2014, I was officially content/unannoyed with Marvel. O frabjous day!

There are 22 hours left in July 17, Marvel; keep this streak going.
posted by nicebookrack at 10:57 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


I think I enjoyed early "Agents of SHIELD" episodes more than many people because I was like, "yesss, more, MORE scenes of people playing Scrabble on the giant death ship!!!" And whatever scenes like that are in Age of Ultron are already my favorites.

Thor learns Jenga!
Darcy tasers Tony Stark, but only because he asked nicely!
Steve sketches Natasha!

THIS ONE HAS IT ALL!
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:10 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Yes, yes, good.

MCU can't support the Civil War story. There's Thor, who can just leave if he wants but wouldn't you rather be nice to him and keep him on your side? And then there's Hulk, which... don't even try. And MCU Tony is way different from 616 Tony. I can't see him heading up SHIELD. And Pepper's all Extremis-ed up, right? (Assuming 'fixing' her means stabilizing the Extremis, rather than getting rid of it.) He wouldn't want to make her register.

Count me in for an Avengers Parks & Rec style sitcom. Though Steve's pretty swift to pickup new technology, so the fish-out-of-water humor runs out pretty fast. He's kind of snarky, so I could see him faking the gosh golly the future stuff and then throwing a Jim-from-the-Office sass face at the camera. Or saying, "You know Tony, I was in the army. I have heard all the swears."
posted by lovecrafty at 11:12 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Probably everyone who is discussing this is already reading this, but this is why I am kind of hooked on Steve Rogers' American Captain, in which Steve Rogers is drawing a diary comic to try to help him to deal with modernity. It's up and down, but when it works Rogers is adorkable like the notepad moment in The Winter Soldier...
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:33 AM on July 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


I also would probably do a murder to see a movie or TV show in which these characters do normal boring human stuff with each other and are friends.

I'm down for a Hawkguy movie or three.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:20 AM on July 17, 2014


Wait, does this mean that Thor is now a Disney princess?
posted by CancerMan at 11:22 AM on July 18, 2014


I'd make the point that male Thor is also totally a Disney princess.
posted by dinty_moore at 11:37 AM on July 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Thor is a perfect Disney Princess. You could re-film Frozen starring Thor and Loki and change very, very little of the plot.
posted by nicebookrack at 11:41 AM on July 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Tiny Princess Thor
posted by kagredon at 11:42 AM on July 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Tiny Princess Thor is awesome! She says Iron Man is next, but Tiny Princess Iron Man doesn't have the same ring to it. Personally, I am hoping she changes her mind in favor of Tiny Princess Guardian of the Galaxy.
posted by misha at 9:08 PM on July 18, 2014


We Hunted The Mammoth reports on the responses of the manosphere, which is, predictably, super racist and misogynistic.
posted by NoraReed at 8:21 AM on July 21, 2014 [2 favorites]


I was pretty much holding it together until WHTM noted "I’m pretty sure that is not the actual Hillary Clinton commenting".
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:04 AM on July 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


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