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Abbreviated "Family Feud"
July 22, 2014 11:39 AM   Subscribe

What do you get when you subtract all the extraneous banter from an episode of "Family Feud"? About three minutes of actual game show. (SLYT).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (70 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
Oh my god I want to hang out with Chris. "Happy."
posted by neuromodulator at 11:45 AM on July 22 [11 favorites]


I always suspected this to be the case.
posted by blurker at 11:50 AM on July 22 [1 favorite]




Celsius1414 stole my comment.
posted by briank at 11:53 AM on July 22


This would also be interesting for an NFL football game. Subtract huddles and commercial breaks and timeouts and penalties and instant replay reviews and quarter breaks and halftime and there isn't that much actual action that happens.
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:54 AM on July 22 [1 favorite]


Bah! Curse you Celsius1414! Curse you to heck!
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:54 AM on July 22 [2 favorites]


Cuts just a little too much off and ends up making it very discomforting.
posted by smackfu at 11:54 AM on July 22 [1 favorite]


Bwahaha! I saved time by not watching football! ;D
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:54 AM on July 22 [5 favorites]


On the NFL front, I used to have fun watching games with my Tivo. For 95% of the plays, pressing the 30-second skip button right after the whistle blew would perfectly line it up for the next play.
posted by smackfu at 11:55 AM on July 22 [4 favorites]


Yeah, but every once in a while you have to leave time for the unexpected.
posted by zarq at 11:56 AM on July 22 [10 favorites]


The interesting part of Family Feud is the banter, so this exercise is puzzling. Take the slack out of any one of the crop of talent or cooking competition shows and their excruciating 2 hours of mostly padding and long commercial breaks would probably be cut down to 15 minutes of actual show.
posted by aught at 11:57 AM on July 22 [4 favorites]


I enjoyed the fast reveals, but if this was how one actually watched Family Feud, I don't think I would have ever watched a second episode. There's fun in the slack.
posted by Phredward at 11:59 AM on July 22 [2 favorites]


To be fair, the show also consists of 10 minutes of Steve Harvey just standing there stunned like this.
posted by mullacc at 12:01 PM on July 22 [4 favorites]


Yeah, the banter is part of the fun. On the other hand, it was oddly satisfying hearing the answer board's sound effects run all together like that.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 12:02 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


Try this with reality TV and you move backwards in time.
posted by Zed at 12:03 PM on July 22 [27 favorites]


What if Iron Chef was just Chairman Kaga announcing the theme ingredient?

ok maybe it's only a tangentially related idea
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:04 PM on July 22 [12 favorites]


Back in the day, friends of mine who were huge Whedon fans loaned me full DVD sets of both Buffy and Angel, and I quickly discovered that my DVD player could support up to 4x replay speed while still showing subtitles, which made the whole experience bearable.

Point being, about 75% of everything is filler. A game of chess probably represents about 15 seconds of action spread out over potentially days. True Detective could get chopped down to five minutes by somebody enterprising who just focuses on the plot points.

I don't watch game shows to watch crack minds mercilessly engage in a battle of wits. I don't really watch game shows at all, but on the rare occasion I do, it's not for the game.
posted by Shepherd at 12:05 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


The interesting part of Family Feud is the banter, so this exercise is puzzling.

Similarly, much of the fun of American Football is the anticipation of the play/rules lawyering over the flag before the head ref weighs info.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:06 PM on July 22


What if Iron Chef was just Chairman Kaga announcing the theme ingredient?

NEEDS MORE TROUT ICE CREAM
posted by zarq at 12:07 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


I guess I'm old school, but Family Feud to me is Richard Dawson, and what would Richard Dawson be without the kissing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGpvxicYDFI
posted by dawg-proud at 12:07 PM on July 22 [4 favorites]


Question about Family Feud...have they ever shown footage of their surveys? I think that would be entertaining. In fact, if any FF producers are reading, you should double the length of the show with the first half being man-on-the-street footage of the surveys for that day being created. Now pay me $$$.
posted by mullacc at 12:09 PM on July 22 [5 favorites]


The thing that most people misunderstand about football is that it is a discrete game, like baseball, rather than a continuous game like soccer. You really ought to look at the number of plays in a football game as a measure of the action rather than the time spent on them. The clock is there for the added strategy and excitement it provides.
posted by adecusatis at 12:11 PM on July 22 [5 favorites]


ChurchHatesTucker: "Similarly, much of the fun of American Football is the anticipation of the play/rules lawyering over the flag before the head ref weighs info."

Yeah, a baseball game is probably 20 minutes of action. Now, I'm not going to say that the typical game couldn't be run a little tighter, but the rhythm of the game, including its longueurs, is part of what makes it enjoyable.
posted by Chrysostom at 12:12 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


We also watch NFL recorded, but it's because of the ads and the promotions they make the commentators do. I just can not take 21 promos for NCIS Atlantis in one football programme, have mercy on us promo monkeys.
posted by dawg-proud at 12:16 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


This is why a 3 minute video on YouTube gets more views than mainstream television. There's more content in those 3 minutes than in 30 on TV.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:19 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


NCIS Atlantis

"Let's move, people. We got a dead sailor at Posideon Naval Station."
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 12:20 PM on July 22 [6 favorites]


I just can not take 21 promos for NCIS Atlantis

To be fair, it was sinking in the ratings.
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:21 PM on July 22 [11 favorites]




Back in the 20s, when Babe Ruth was playing, professional baseball was over in an hour and half. They didn't mess around, everyone would run on and off the field and begin immediately playing, pitching as many balls as fast as they could, it wasn't the whole afternoon event like today. Mainly because the games were held on weekdays around 4 or 5pm in time for workers to show up, but not so long they couldn't get home for dinner. Double headers were more common. Maybe the idea was to get as much action into short as time possible, like action movies today.
posted by stbalbach at 12:32 PM on July 22 [4 favorites]


leotrotsky: ""I'm looking for a gift for my aunt." "

I could not get past the first 1:30 of this. Does he get a gift for his aunt?
posted by 724A at 12:35 PM on July 22


If only you'd held out another few seconds for the credits!

Also, I learned the word apposite from that sketch
posted by leotrotsky at 12:37 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


They should do this with Deal or No Deal. I'd be surprised if there was more than 30 seconds there.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:38 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


Yeah, but every once in a while you have to leave time for the unexpected.

Indeed.
posted by kmz at 12:40 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


Does anyone watch Family Feud because they want to know either what a (almost certainly non-random) sample of people thought a reasonable answer to a (generally idiotic) question was or which of two groups of people was better at sussing out what the most-common answers would be? As plenty of people have already said, skipping the fluff is missing the point entirely.

It's not even that there's no there there, it's that the there that is there is where we're all already at and this fruitless search for another, purer there has taken us to the place where there is and could be no there there at all.
posted by Copronymus at 12:42 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


The banter is absolutely 100% of the reason to watch Family Feud, especially under Steve Harvey. The previous guy (forget his name, he was the one on Seinfeld) was painful to watch, but Steve makes this show SO much fun. The "survey questions" and the game itself are practically disposable.
posted by jbickers at 12:46 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


I grew up believing that televised football and baseball is primarily about getting a weekend or holiday afternoon nap with a cold one on the endtable.

But gameshows are frequently about spectacle and schadenfreude watching the folks next door humiliate themselves on camera. I think the whole joke of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind was that assassination might be more moral than creating something like The Newlywed Game or The Gong Show.

Family Feud seems to be going there given how many questions could be read as a setup for a dirty joke, with the primary suspense being which contestant is going stutter around the off-color answer, resulting in acted shock from Harvey and twittering from the audience.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 12:47 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


Yeah, a baseball game is probably 20 minutes of action. Now, I'm not going to say that the typical game couldn't be run a little tighter, but the rhythm of the game, including its longueurs, is part of what makes it enjoyable.

One of the features of the MLB Internet subscription service is that once the games are over you can watch a "condensed" version that is just the important plays (mostly hits and strikeouts), with just the field mic sound as the audio. It does run around 15-20 minutes per game, and it can be somewhat disorienting to watch because when watching the real game you always have a lot of context of what the exact situation is and what the stakes are which is missing in the condensed version. Also it's rare to get through a condensed game without hearing a batter yell some sort of obscenity after hitting an easy popup thanks to the field mic audio.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:59 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


Family Feud seems to be going there given how many questions could be read as a setup for a dirty joke, with the primary suspense being which contestant is going stutter around the off-color answer, resulting in acted shock from Harvey and twittering from the audience.

Even minus the off-color answers, it does seem like every team is forced to include a complete nincompoop/weirdo with no frame of reference on normal human life at all to answer things like "albatross hearts" in response to "What is a thing that your spouse refuses to eat?"
posted by Copronymus at 1:08 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


I know you can watch the individual highlight videos with the commentarys, but I deeply wish you could get that condensed video with the commentary included. I like listening to the announcers, but that may be because we have Kruk and Kuip calling it for the Giants.
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:10 PM on July 22


The previous guy (forget his name, he was the one on Seinfeld) was painful to watch

John O'Hurley
posted by zarq at 1:16 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


have they ever shown footage of their surveys?

I always assumed they surveyed the audience at a previous taping.
posted by Billiken at 1:18 PM on July 22


Does anyone know where or how they conduct those surveys? Sometimes it seems like the answers are representative of the sorts of people who would go to LA for vacation.

Also, who doesn't think that $25,000 Pyramid answers would make excellent Family Feud questions?
posted by Appropriate Username at 1:20 PM on July 22


I would absolutely sit in my chair for 30 minutes watching a supercut of Alex Trebek's "meet the guests" segments. I wish I could walk away from a conversation that smoothly. What a gift the Lord hath bestown on this handsome Canadian.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:35 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


The "meet the guest" bits are what make Jeopardy! almost unwatchable for me. So much awkwardness.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:39 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


I would absolutely sit in my chair for 30 minutes watching a supercut of Alex Trebek's "meet the guests" segments.

I believe you want this.
posted by jbickers at 1:40 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


The awkwardness is world class! "You've got a story of a romantic nature."
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:41 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


The "meet the guest" bits are what make Jeopardy! almost unwatchable for me. So much awkwardness.

It's an unspoken agreement between my wife and I that this portion is muted. It's this sort of thing that keeps a marriage strong.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 1:43 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


Some European sports channels show one-hour versions of American football games. I have a friend who used to work at a hostel and said that once in awhile someone would come excited to see a football game and be surprised by how long they are in real life.
posted by roll truck roll at 1:49 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


Could someone do this with the entire prime time run of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? please?

And could someone else give me odds on whether the resulting video would be longer or shorter than this one episode of Family Feud?
posted by jacquilynne at 2:02 PM on July 22 [3 favorites]


I'm with dawg-proud, I didn't care tuppence for what went on on Family feud but for the genial company of Richard Dawson. RIP, cpl. Newkirk.
posted by Abinadab at 2:50 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


If football were compressed, you wouldn't have time to bet on each play. And you don't really love football if you're not betting on it on a play-by-play basis. Betting on the outcome of the game is for amateurs.

Also, 3 minutes of Family Feud almost made my brain explode. I can't even imagine what a full half hour would be like :-(
posted by janey47 at 2:56 PM on July 22


They should do this with Deal or No Deal. I'd be surprised if there was more than 30 seconds there.

They already have.
posted by nooneyouknow at 3:19 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: about 75% of everything is filler.
posted by dywypi at 4:13 PM on July 22


I would absolutely sit in my chair for 30 minutes watching a supercut of Alex Trebek's "meet the guests" segments.

I once spent a few weeks where I would summarize and record the best story from each day's contestants. Intending no disrespect to the contestants (any story of mine would be no better at all!), here is that list:

Contestant had an arranged marriage.
Contestant is afraid of cooking.
Contestant writes software for cemeteries.
Contestant watches baseball games on mute.
Contestant puts iced tea in chili.
Contestant's daughter is a fan of Elvis.
Contestant was told to play loud music to deter raccoons.
Contestant is interested in Anderson Cooper.
Contestant enjoys origami.
Contestant has been married 31 years.
Contestant ran a car into a carwash.
Contestant's hometown is known for tool and die manufacturing.
Contestant eats 6000 calories on Saturdays.
Contestant is on a curling team. Alex asked a technical curling question.
Contestant wept upon entering Fenway park.
Contestant lives approximately one hour away from Vanna White.
Contestant wore wooden shoes while in marching band (Holland, MI)
Contestant plans to rent a party bus to go to karaoke.
posted by kiltedtaco at 4:21 PM on July 22 [18 favorites]


The "meet the guest" bits are what make Jeopardy! almost unwatchable for me. So much awkwardness.

I like the "meet the guest" bits! Though I admit I like the footage of the contestants chatting with Alex during the credits even more.
posted by Shmuel510 at 4:31 PM on July 22


a few weeks where I would summarize and record the best story from each day's contestants...

Writers who're having trouble formulating characters could start doing this and then apply the findings to one per collection period. Such variety could add a sweet indeterminacy.
posted by mr. digits at 5:01 PM on July 22


"How many pounds is a large baby?

I said, "how many pounds is a large baby?"

A LARGE BABY! HOW MANY GODDAMN POUNDS IS A LARGE BABY?????


ANSWER me! ANSWER ME!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 5:29 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


A professional chess game has less than a minute of players actually moving pieces.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:13 PM on July 22 [2 favorites]


MetaFiller: it's really the content.
posted by mubba at 8:57 PM on July 22


I once spent a few weeks where I would summarize and record the best story from each day's contestants.

I would like to have a beer with a single person who embodies all of these characteristics. Such a thing seems possible, they appear to all be orthogonal.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 9:15 PM on July 22 [1 favorite]


Is putting ice tea in things a good coping method if you're scared of cooking?
posted by RobotHero at 9:28 PM on July 22


I would like to have a beer with a single person who embodies all of these characteristics.

Whoa, I never thought of it that way. They would be the most mundanely interesting person in the world.
posted by kiltedtaco at 5:47 AM on July 23 [1 favorite]


A professional chess game has less than a minute of players actually moving pieces.

Imagine if FF were 3 minutes of game play and 19 minutes of silent, intense concentration. I'd watch at least once.
posted by mullacc at 7:36 AM on July 23 [1 favorite]


I wonder how long Match Game would be if you did the same thing? Talk about a game show where the contestants were secondary to the entertainment value...
posted by booksherpa at 7:54 AM on July 23 [3 favorites]


Contestant lives approximately one hour away from Vanna White...

...at all times.

That would be an interesting fact.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:38 AM on July 23


Who Wants to Be a Millionaire has no time limits. I know someone who was on it; he said it wasn't unusual for people to spend 10+ minutes silently thinking about a question.
posted by roll truck roll at 11:09 AM on July 23


The 3 minutes of FF was pretty fun, but it led me down the YT rabbit hole, which led me to a greatest hits of the in-between stuff on FF. Holy crap Steve Harvey is the absolute perfect host to that show.
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:16 AM on July 23


Oh man, his disbelieving look at bad or off-color answers never stops being funny to me.
posted by roll truck roll at 4:48 PM on July 23


Ok, I had zero hope for that Steve Harvey video, but I was totally wrong and it's just the funniest thing.
posted by kiltedtaco at 5:22 PM on July 23


I wonder how long Match Game would be if you did the same thing? Talk about a game show where the contestants were secondary to the entertainment value...

In the nifty Match Game documentary (on YT I think, they broadcast it on GSN from time to time), Gene Rayburn *swoon* said that the show had such a "weak format" that he had to inject humor into it just to keep it going. (Especially in the early days, when the statements were just partial phrases and a blank, instead of the later humorous setups they came up with.)
posted by Melismata at 7:27 AM on July 24


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