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Mid-climb. What of it?
July 24, 2014 10:24 PM   Subscribe

"A set of towers, spread across the globe, have given goats the opportunity to make good on their evolutionary heritage and farmers a chance to leave an unforgettable impression on visitors. And don't worry—there hasn't been a single report of the goats falling." From Modern Farmer. [Previously]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome (36 comments total) 33 users marked this as a favorite

 
Best link of 2014.
posted by isthmus at 10:41 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]


Yepp.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:54 PM on July 24


It's goats all the way up.
posted by cmoj at 10:55 PM on July 24 [4 favorites]


Ooh, there's one of these in Goat Simulator! It's right at the very beginning.
posted by baf at 11:13 PM on July 24


What a goat tower looks like to a goat, according to the latest goat-simulation technology.
posted by Phssthpok at 11:14 PM on July 24 [16 favorites]


I agree 100% that this is a quality link. But honestly, the thought of getting one of those pictures tattooed on my back would never cross my mind.
posted by Metro Gnome at 11:16 PM on July 24 [5 favorites]


I've come across a lot of tattoos I found hard to understand, but that one really goes beyond the bizarre into a new realm where my understanding of rationality has no traction.
posted by Segundus at 11:19 PM on July 24 [3 favorites]


How much of the market for Modern Farmer is farmers or people directly involved in agriculture? It seems in many ways to be a magazine by and for hipsters. But I don't know: maybe my image of farmers is wrong, and maybe the number of hipsters getting into organic food production is bigger than I thought.
posted by vogon_poet at 12:05 AM on July 25


Looks like the nearly universal linkbait + Bootstrap (or similar) tailored towards anyone with a passing interest in agriculture, which would probably include a few hipsters with window or roof gardens and big dreams of open fields.
posted by honestcoyote at 12:20 AM on July 25


Years ago I saw a photo of one of these towers, there were no goats in the picture.
I came to the conclusion that they were meditation chambers and imagined
long grey haired ascetics sitting in full lotus at each doorway....But no, the truth is
revealed... Goats!
posted by quazichimp at 12:21 AM on July 25


This is the best of the Web.

It also, at last, justifies the Shard. Get on it, Boris.
posted by Devonian at 2:35 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


It keeps them off your car I guess?
posted by fshgrl at 2:36 AM on July 25


Ah, much more humble towers than I would have thought necessary for the fulfillment of ones evolutionary heritage. I was imaging the hood of my car staved in by goat dung accelerated to terminal velocity.
posted by XMLicious at 2:41 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


Wow Fairview had the 2nd one in the world? I remember going there on a class trip in kindergarten. Still buy their cheese to this day.
posted by PenDevil at 2:55 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


I reckon this is the best thing I will see all day.
posted by allthinky at 5:45 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


Goats for the Goat Throne.

I cannot believe that that thing was true to life. This is blowing my mind.
posted by Slackermagee at 6:17 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


maybe the number of hipsters getting into organic food production is bigger than I thought

If you include backyard chickens and cute permaculture gardens, the numbers would indeed be large.

My usual walk goes past a place with a small herd of goats (plus some alpacas and other hobby livestock), and they are always standing on top of small structures. If they had a goat tower, I can guarantee they would be happily surveying the world from the top.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:22 AM on July 25


I want to snuggle all the goats.
posted by Theta States at 6:22 AM on July 25 [2 favorites]


How much of the market for Modern Farmer is farmers or people directly involved in agriculture? It seems in many ways to be a magazine by and for hipsters. But I don't know: maybe my image of farmers is wrong, and maybe the number of hipsters getting into organic food production is bigger than I thought.

the new gentleman and lady farmers moving back to the country to experiment with farming. yes this is a thing.... but, it's an old thing. Look at Kostya Levin in Anna Karenina for the 19th century Russian version.
posted by ennui.bz at 6:40 AM on July 25


It keeps them off your car I guess?

Or off your dam.
posted by mstokes650 at 6:54 AM on July 25 [3 favorites]


It's like cat castles for goats!
posted by janey47 at 7:15 AM on July 25


Must... not... ask... how these people...
posted by hat_eater at 7:19 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


good lord it's like a bizarre birdhouse.

Timmy what did you do at school today?

the teacher had us build goat towers, can we put it in the back yard?

posted by rebent at 7:39 AM on July 25


"It's my belief that these goats are laboring under the misapprehension that they are birds."
posted by jbickers at 7:42 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


Must... not... ask... how these people...

...got their goats wedged into their trees, or why.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 7:51 AM on July 25 [2 favorites]


As I look at these pictures, I have faith that the Internet can feed an aching need... ah, yes... here it is
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:52 AM on July 25


There is a game called Goat Simulator?

What a time to be alive.
posted by desjardins at 8:39 AM on July 25 [5 favorites]


I am moving to Norway to live with the goats. Bye.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:42 AM on July 25


Can we back up a little bit and talk about this Goat Simulator? I mean, one of my favorite video game conepts is pigeon dating and even I am curious as to why one would want a Goat Simulator.
posted by maryr at 9:30 AM on July 25


Can we back up a little bit and talk about this Goat Simulator? I mean, one of my favorite video game conepts is pigeon dating and even I am curious as to why one would want a Goat Simulator.

Here's the official trailer. It explains much while also raising many new questions.
posted by Copronymus at 10:04 AM on July 25 [4 favorites]


Ugh, I'm just imagining that some poor farmhand has to periodically climb those ramps and muck out those little cubby holes. Not only would you have to climb into that tight space, you'd be in a room that smells like goat poop.

I'm sure the goats love it though.
posted by fremen at 10:44 AM on July 25


From mstokes650's link, which clearly CRIES OUT FOR MORE HERZOG:

"There are people who delight in hanging from a hairsbreadth of rock, who drive all night to find a wall of stone where an eighth of an inch makes all the difference between staying and plunging. I'm not one of them. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have an Aladdin's lamp with a genie inside who could — just for, oh, 20 minutes — turn me into mountain goat, so I could feel what it's like to have my fears become my delights, so that I could look straight down, spot a tuft of salt, and think, "Oooh, how delicious!" and then, without a care, leap straight into the empty, open air ..."
posted by tigrrrlily at 10:54 AM on July 25 [2 favorites]


Oh, I've actually seen the goats in trees that the article mentions! It's something the farmers encourage, because the goats get to eat even when there is no grass or weeds on the ground. I've seen a farmer lifting a goat on to a low branch.

I'm not sure how the trees feel about it.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:04 PM on July 25


My wife has become a fan of the goat milk and cheese from one of the local farms, and says she'd like to go visit the goats and thank them for what they provide. If we had enough money and resources, though, a tower would be the ultimate thank-you.
posted by Spatch at 1:27 PM on July 25


A U-Pick family farm-and-orchard near me has a collection of goats that visitors can pet and feed, and coming out of the petting barn they have a GOAT HIGHWAY which is a series of ramps that go up to a goat bridge over the human walkway and over to a goat tower where they can hang out on top, or climb down to an out-of-view area if they're tired of humans.

There are warning signs not to stop and stand under the overhead highway because some of the goats like to hang out on top of the goat highway and chill until they see a human loiter underneath, and then pee.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 1:58 PM on July 25 [4 favorites]


I have to say this is great.

Recently we bought some land that we'll eventually build acordwood house on, l also have been thinking about building a tower...because you know TOWER!!!! Also also we have been talking about getting a few goats... Now I am going to have to build another tower ... For the goats. And it shall be awesome.
posted by edgeways at 2:41 PM on July 25


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