Four weeks later, you move to Florida.
August 4, 2014 4:18 PM Subscribe
How To Tell If You’re In Lesbian Pulp Fiction by Carolyn Yates. SLTT.
Part of the how to tell what novel you're in series.
Part of the how to tell what novel you're in series.
Everywhere you go, this song seems to be playing.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:40 PM on August 4, 2014
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:40 PM on August 4, 2014
Damnit, I thought it was referring to the film, only the main characters were replaced.
posted by cashman at 4:48 PM on August 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by cashman at 4:48 PM on August 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I would watch the shit out of that movie.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:50 PM on August 4, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:50 PM on August 4, 2014 [6 favorites]
You are ageless.
Nonsense. This just means you are Catherine Deneuve.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:05 PM on August 4, 2014 [5 favorites]
Nonsense. This just means you are Catherine Deneuve.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:05 PM on August 4, 2014 [5 favorites]
Considering how in just the last year*, the-toast.net has become the mcsweeneys.net of the Twenty-Teens, with much more all-natural all-humorous estrogen plus frequent injections of MeFisOwnTheWhelk, I was delighted to see the use of the "SLTT" (Single Link The Toast) designation. Long may it wave.
*18 FPPs tagged thetoast since last July
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:13 PM on August 4, 2014 [8 favorites]
*18 FPPs tagged thetoast since last July
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:13 PM on August 4, 2014 [8 favorites]
Love love loved this, and kinda wish I was in such a tale for real, instead of just according to this list.
After seeing how some of my favorite McSweeneys writers went on to career expansion (Wendy Molyneux and John Hodgman in particular), I can only hope The Toast does the same.
posted by RainyJay at 5:18 PM on August 4, 2014
After seeing how some of my favorite McSweeneys writers went on to career expansion (Wendy Molyneux and John Hodgman in particular), I can only hope The Toast does the same.
posted by RainyJay at 5:18 PM on August 4, 2014
All of your Scotch bottles are half empty.
I prefer to think of them as half full.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:30 PM on August 4, 2014 [10 favorites]
I prefer to think of them as half full.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:30 PM on August 4, 2014 [10 favorites]
Nonsense. This just means you are Catherine Deneuve.
Or Dick Clark.
posted by jonmc at 5:47 PM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
Or Dick Clark.
posted by jonmc at 5:47 PM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
You feel sorry for men by virtue of them just being men. They can never know what you know.
Who doesn't feel this way?
posted by nooneyouknow at 6:00 PM on August 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
Who doesn't feel this way?
posted by nooneyouknow at 6:00 PM on August 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
You make your girlfriend go on a date with a boy, because you couldn’t live with yourself if she didn’t at least try to hide who she is.
This may be the greatest list ever.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:49 PM on August 4, 2014
This may be the greatest list ever.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:49 PM on August 4, 2014
Etsy has you covered if you want reproduction pulp lesbian cover art to hang on your wall.
If you prefer your pulp homosexuals more... manly, you're covered too.
posted by BungaDunga at 7:52 PM on August 4, 2014
If you prefer your pulp homosexuals more... manly, you're covered too.
posted by BungaDunga at 7:52 PM on August 4, 2014
You want to move in with a woman you have known less than a week.
U-Haul on speed dial.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:30 PM on August 4, 2014
U-Haul on speed dial.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:30 PM on August 4, 2014
All of your Scotch bottles are half empty.
Well, yeah.... But what about the bourbon bottles?
posted by gingerbeer at 9:41 PM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
Well, yeah.... But what about the bourbon bottles?
posted by gingerbeer at 9:41 PM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was shocked to see, from the Dickens link: A coachman treats you saucily.
This is pretty much the story of my life. I now wonder if I was secretly orphaned at an early age.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:59 AM on August 5, 2014
This is pretty much the story of my life. I now wonder if I was secretly orphaned at an early age.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:59 AM on August 5, 2014
Lesbian Pulp Fiction
I want to see this movie too now. I'm thinking Quentin Tarantino and the Wachowskis meet Patricia Highsmith and Les Guérillères.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:12 AM on August 5, 2014
I want to see this movie too now. I'm thinking Quentin Tarantino and the Wachowskis meet Patricia Highsmith and Les Guérillères.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:12 AM on August 5, 2014
I wrote about Beebo Brinker a few years ago and the author, Ann Weldy, wrote me a nice email in response. And then, during my brief recent tenure in Hollywood, she was doing a reading so I went and chatted with her a bit. Very nice woman.
I don't know what route I have been on in this life that as a 46-year-old straight man I am familiar enough with Beebo Brinker to be utterly thrilled to meet the author, but I would 't trade my reading habits for anyone's.
I also had a small hand in the rerelease of Chocolates for Breakfast, so, again, I dunno.
posted by maxsparber at 6:21 AM on August 5, 2014
I don't know what route I have been on in this life that as a 46-year-old straight man I am familiar enough with Beebo Brinker to be utterly thrilled to meet the author, but I would 't trade my reading habits for anyone's.
I also had a small hand in the rerelease of Chocolates for Breakfast, so, again, I dunno.
posted by maxsparber at 6:21 AM on August 5, 2014
I don't know what route I have been on in this life that as a 46-year-old straight man I am familiar enough with Beebo Brinker to be utterly thrilled to meet the author, but I would 't trade my reading habits for anyone's.
Obviously an awesome route and you are to be commended for it!
I felt so sorry for Beebo in those books.
posted by winna at 7:15 AM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
Obviously an awesome route and you are to be commended for it!
I felt so sorry for Beebo in those books.
posted by winna at 7:15 AM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
> "I felt so sorry for Beebo in those books."
I thought Beebo had a pretty good life, all things considered, except in Women in the Shadows. (And she wasn't exactly being a nice person in Women in the Shadows, herself.)
posted by kyrademon at 7:45 AM on August 5, 2014
I thought Beebo had a pretty good life, all things considered, except in Women in the Shadows. (And she wasn't exactly being a nice person in Women in the Shadows, herself.)
posted by kyrademon at 7:45 AM on August 5, 2014
Related: everyone knows this is happening, right?
posted by libraritarian at 10:43 AM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by libraritarian at 10:43 AM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]
Etsy has you covered if you want reproduction pulp lesbian cover art to hang on your wall.
These are my new favorite source for new taglines.
Metafilter: climbing down a ladder of flesh into a cesspool of Lesbian depravity.
Metafilter: needed money fast and was willing to accept woman-love in order to get it!
Metafilter: trying to blot out pain with pleasure.
Metafilter: probes deeply to the rotten core of co-ed sex.
Metafilter: that twilight world where women are in love -- with other women.
Metafilter: led her clients to the altar of passion.
posted by medusa at 1:25 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
These are my new favorite source for new taglines.
Metafilter: climbing down a ladder of flesh into a cesspool of Lesbian depravity.
Metafilter: needed money fast and was willing to accept woman-love in order to get it!
Metafilter: trying to blot out pain with pleasure.
Metafilter: probes deeply to the rotten core of co-ed sex.
Metafilter: that twilight world where women are in love -- with other women.
Metafilter: led her clients to the altar of passion.
posted by medusa at 1:25 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
> "Related: everyone knows this is happening, right?"
Yay! No I didn't and I'm so excited! The Price of Salt gets a movie WOO-HOO!
... I, er, may have a fondness for that particular work of fiction.
posted by kyrademon at 1:39 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yay! No I didn't and I'm so excited! The Price of Salt gets a movie WOO-HOO!
... I, er, may have a fondness for that particular work of fiction.
posted by kyrademon at 1:39 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]
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Paging Beebo Brinker!
posted by winna at 4:25 PM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]