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A Fish is Playing Pokemon
August 8, 2014 7:24 AM   Subscribe


 
ps he's not dead, just sleeping
posted by Legomancer at 7:25 AM on August 8 [3 favorites]


ps he's not dead, just sleeping

#1 on the list of greatest lies ever told.
posted by phunniemee at 7:33 AM on August 8 [4 favorites]


I watched this a bit yesterday. It's a wonderful exercise in frustration, very addictive. The chat's full of spammers, unfortunately, but when people aren't ruining it there's a lot of fun to be had watching people's outrage when the fish does something unbelievably frustrating. For example, about ten minutes ago he got into the options menu and reconfigured everything in the worst possible manner -- slowest text speed, battle animations off, and a setting that makes it more difficult to win battles. Everyone freaked out!
posted by One Second Before Awakening at 7:35 AM on August 8 [8 favorites]


He sure likes staring at, walking parallel to, and walking into barriers.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 7:51 AM on August 8


Do you even PLAY Pokemon, Fish?
posted by dirtdirt at 7:56 AM on August 8


soon there will be a school of fish playing pokemon, then a barramundi playing pokemon, then a hive of wasps playing pokemon.
posted by boo_radley at 8:13 AM on August 8


eventually the fish playing pokemon will qualify for a boat loan.
posted by boo_radley at 8:14 AM on August 8


When I was a kid and we went to Santa Claus Land (in scenic Santa Claus, Indiana, now known as Holiday World I believe), one of the main attractions was a chicken that played tic-tac-toe. You would go up to the 3x3 board that had a button and two lights in each square, and you'd take your turn, and then the chicken would peck at a board in his little cage to take his turn. And the chicken often won, and 7-year-old me was consistently floored by this. Goddamned chicken, making little kids cry with his mad tic-tac-toe skills.
posted by jbickers at 8:14 AM on August 8 [2 favorites]


The obvious next move is Finch Plays Pokemon. Attach a GPS tracker to a finch. When it moves North, press UP, etc. When it flies up, press A. When it descends, press B.

And staying still = START, just to frustrate people.
posted by aw_yiss at 8:17 AM on August 8


There are over 23,000 people watching this right now. Including me.

Wow.
posted by themanwho at 8:17 AM on August 8


Could a fish play Legend of the River King, though?
posted by Redfield at 8:19 AM on August 8


What if a fish played Sega Bass Fishing, or Seaman?
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:23 AM on August 8


This is a pathetic excuse for a creature that is only capable of flopping and splashing. It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic fish in the world.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:26 AM on August 8 [15 favorites]


What if a fish played Sega Bass Fishing, or Seaman?

Only a sociopathic fish would play those, you monster!
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:32 AM on August 8


I think the fish is dead
posted by Ned G at 8:32 AM on August 8


I think the fish is dead

read the faq
posted by Legomancer at 8:41 AM on August 8


.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:41 AM on August 8


FAVE OR RIOT
posted by Legomancer at 8:44 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]


There should be a riot to randomize option for when Grayson has been useless for 60 minutes.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:44 AM on August 8


Only a sociopathic fish would play those, you monster!

Yeah. Just imagine if humans were to play video games in which they played at killing other humans. One shudders even to think of such a thing.
posted by yoink at 8:45 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]


You laugh now. But when he reaches level 20, Grayson will evolve into Gyarados and kick this game's ass.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:47 AM on August 8 [15 favorites]


"RESURRECT FISH ON PLANET NEPTUNE" just scrolled by on the chat. I loled.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:47 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]


Grayson just walked all the way across the town!
posted by isthmus at 8:48 AM on August 8


He's stuck in a totally different corner now!
posted by isthmus at 8:49 AM on August 8


He just saved. That's good.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:50 AM on August 8 [2 favorites]


Grayson, Boggle Playing Chicken was a friend of mine. Fish, you're no Boggle Playing Chicken.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:53 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]


I haven't seen it cause anything to happen. How does it cause things to happen? Moving into one of the squares? If so, what if it wanted (uh... "wanted") to hit the same button twice? Or is there some other thing, like a certain type of movement causes the button of the square he's in to be pushed?
posted by Flunkie at 9:05 AM on August 8


Before I beat 2048 and released myself from a borderline-unhealthy level of obsession, I really depressed myself by testing how far blind swiping would get me and discovering that the answer was "almost as far as my painstakingly honed strategy".

Is there a way to capture the button presses from that channel? It'd be fun to map them onto 2048 moves and see how he does.
posted by metaBugs at 9:12 AM on August 8




40 minutes later he's back in the northeast corner.
posted by isthmus at 9:37 AM on August 8


Since this is based on a video feed, isn't it just Fish Plays Twitch Plays Pokemon?
posted by halifix at 9:52 AM on August 8


Okay, so laugh all you want at the betta but I was once beaten at Tic Tac Toe by a chicken. That chicken really really liked the dried corn it got for beating people. It was a freakin fierce competitor. In retrospect I wondered if I would have been more focused if my lunch had been dependent on winning that game.
posted by aught at 9:57 AM on August 8


The best comment I saw (multiple times because it beared repeating).

"Guys, the chat is delayed 30 seconds so the fish can't see your comments right away."
posted by Hamusutaa at 10:01 AM on August 8 [17 favorites]


Okay, so laugh all you want at the betta but I was once beaten at Tic Tac Toe by a chicken. That chicken really really liked the dried corn it got for beating people. It was a freakin fierce competitor. In retrospect I wondered if I would have been more focused if my lunch had been dependent on winning that game.

I remember my dad telling me about that chicken when I was a kid. I got the impression that he actually believed that the chicken knew how to play Tic-Tac-Toe.
posted by zixyer at 10:24 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]


People are declaring that the upper left corner of the tank is OP and needs to be nerfed.
posted by Legomancer at 10:28 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]


Oh shit, now I know what I need to do with Chegwin...

He'd provide the best game play. Especially whenever someone walks down the stairs and he's automatically in the top right corner of his tank, waiting to get fed.

You're not going to get fed, fish. You were fed this morning. Just because I'm walking down the stairs and your light is on does not mean it's morning again, and it doesn't mean you're getting fed.
posted by Katemonkey at 11:00 AM on August 8


Before I beat 2048 and released myself from a borderline-unhealthy level of obsession, I really depressed myself by testing how far blind swiping would get me and discovering that the answer was "almost as far as my painstakingly honed strategy".

Play Threes
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:19 PM on August 8 [1 favorite]


Ah, a rare chance to be eponysterical!

Love the idea, not thrilled with the execution. Don't get me wrong, I've seen bettas kept in far worse conditions -- Grayson's not in a tiny death jar or forced to scavenge off the roots of a peace lily, he has a heater and his water is changed sometimes, so it's a start. Unfortunately, because fish are less expressive and stereotyped as dumb, disposable "decor pets," people tend to assume that as long as the fish is alive and not visibly ill that its living conditions are fine. But bettas are quite hardy, and just as a cat or a dog (or a human) can live through improper or neglectful care, so can they -- surviving is not the same thing as thriving.

Grayson's bowl looks to be a 1 gallon, which is too small for only 1-2 water changes a week*. He's swimming around in his own waste, and you can tell from the way he keeps hanging out at the top of the tank with fins clamped together and colors paled that he's stressed and not getting enough oxygen. (User inacti on reddit has a great comment which goes into more detail on healthy betta behavior).

He doesn't have much in the way of hiding spots or enrichment, which would increase his stress and add boredom to the mix. Besides the leaf hammock at the top all he has is a plastic plant, which concerns me because many plastic plants are too sharp and can cut a betta's fragile fins -- fabric plants are the way to go. I'm also worried that his owner is/was about getting a light to keep on all night, which would be harmful for him as it would be for any other animal with a circadian rhythm.

Luckily, there's been some gentle pushback and education on the reddit forum, and it sounds like Grayson may be getting a tank upgrade soon. This is a great opportunity to demonstrate proper care for an often-neglected animal to people who wouldn't necessarily think to do a lot of research before getting a betta, because all it needs is a bowl, water conditioner and some food, right?

I hope my comment hasn't turned anyone off the idea of getting a betta -- when well-cared for, they're great pets, colorful, active, fun to watch and even trainable. Since I moved five years ago I haven't been able to keep any, and I miss having them around**.

*I personally consider anything below 2.5 gallons inadequate, and am a strong advocate of at least 5 gallons with a filter. The fish is happier and more interesting to look at, you can decorate the tank to look nicer, and it's actually easier to care for because you get a colony of friendly bacteria in the filter that munches on fish waste and keeps the water quality more stable with fewer water changes.

**In the tradition of long-winded MeFi pet comments: the highly food-motivated Tiamat, and Grendel the ill-named scaredy-cat, whom I promise was only in a bowl for his photo op.

posted by bettafish at 12:50 PM on August 8 [6 favorites]


A Fish is Playing Pokemon
His name is Grayson and he's not very good at it.


Well.

Stand to reason.
posted by Caduceus at 1:20 PM on August 8


Right now there's a black screen on the feed with the text "GRAYSON IS GETTING AN UPGRADE!" Hopefully they're addressing bettafish's (very well stated) concerns. It's the right thing to do, and plus it sounds like it'll make Grayson a much better pokemon player.
posted by One Second Before Awakening at 3:17 PM on August 8 [2 favorites]


how cute!
posted by xoxoroseberry68xoxo at 4:27 AM on August 9


...a chicken that played tic-tac-toe...

Sadly, you guys know that the chicken doesn't actually play Tic Tac Toe, right? When you move, a Tic Tac Toe playing computer tells the chicken which space to 'peck' next, usually by lightning up or showing a color, then, when the chicken pecks the right space, they get food. There's some learning involved, but not the strategic forethought needed to win Tic Tac Toe.

.....ruining childhood experiences since 1992
posted by AzraelBrown at 6:33 AM on August 9 [1 favorite]


A stone plays Pokemon
posted by melissam at 6:38 AM on August 9


Someone build one of these and let radiation from space play pokemon.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:53 AM on August 9


Tic tac toe is not very complex in terms of symbols. I totally think you could train a chicken to play winning strats.
posted by rebent at 8:02 AM on August 9


I don't know, I just clicked to watch the fish check his level 6 pokemon's stats, exit the menu, and then save his game.
posted by deludingmyself at 2:11 PM on August 9




Sadly, you guys know that the chicken doesn't actually play Tic Tac Toe, right?

I just figured TTT is one of those basic games that punishes overthinking, and that's how the chicken wins as often as he does. While I am subtly working up my intricate indirect strategy that the chicken will not notice until I deliver the coup de grace, the chicken has simply hit three in a row and begun chowing down its handful of dried corn.
posted by aught at 11:54 AM on August 11


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