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it was like a big mouthful of ‘Murica/Freedom
August 26, 2014 1:43 PM   Subscribe


 
I'd pay $10 not to eat that.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:45 PM on August 26 [15 favorites]


It looks like my YouTube link (the Simpson's "I'm so hungry I'd eat at Arby's") is broken or unavailable. Sorry about that.
posted by Curious Artificer at 1:46 PM on August 26


It looks so sad and self-loathing that I want to hug it with my teeth.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:48 PM on August 26 [15 favorites]


Can I take that over to In-n-Out and get it done up Animal Style because damn.

Also, that's the amount of meat that should* be on a deli sandwich.

*I am not your cardiologist
posted by griphus at 1:48 PM on August 26 [13 favorites]


they missed out on a lucrative internet stunt food ingester point by not serving it between two turnovers.
posted by boo_radley at 1:49 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


"Getting a bit of a headache, but 10/10 would order again."
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:49 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Yowza. And I thought the quarter-pounder I get from Mickey D's was plenty of food.....
posted by easily confused at 1:50 PM on August 26


The photos on Twitter look suspiciously nicer than the photos on Consumerist...
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:51 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


Donate $100 to ALS, or eat a Meat Mountain and pour a bucket of ice water over your head
posted by blue t-shirt at 1:51 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


Also, that's the amount of meat that should* be on a deli sandwich.



"Meat" being the operative term here.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:54 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Quotation marks being the operative punctuation here.
posted by The Gaffer at 1:55 PM on August 26 [4 favorites]


Even if you don't donate to ALS, it'd probably be a good idea to have an empty bucket close at hand after eating that.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:57 PM on August 26 [18 favorites]


blue t-shirt: "Donate $100 to ALS, or eat a Meat Mountain and pour a bucket of ice water over your head"

"it's the only way to fight the meat sweats."
posted by boo_radley at 1:59 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


Arby's is one of my favorite fast food places and that's a mountain I'd happily climb. Sadly the nearest one in deeep Queens almost Nassau. Rats.

*mopes*
posted by jonmc at 2:00 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]




Damnit. I skipped breakfast. And lunch. This actually looks appetizing right now.
posted by schmod at 2:02 PM on August 26


The Meat Mountain is a by-product of marketing, a spokesperson told Washington Post.

I smell a fired spokesperson.
posted by chavenet at 2:02 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


I knew Jon would eat that, and now I wish I had also included a "jonmcWouldEatThat" tag. Also, that is the clip I linked to, robbyrobs, but it's not showing up for me any more.
posted by Curious Artificer at 2:03 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


I smell a fired spokesperson.

Coming soon to an Arby's near you: Mystery Meat Mountain.
posted by Mr. Six at 2:07 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


pictures are popping up on twitter. Hungry?

Not any more.
 
posted by Herodios at 2:08 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Relevant.
posted by brundlefly at 2:08 PM on August 26


They should throw a wafer thin pickle on there.
posted by tonycpsu at 2:09 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]




Arby's is one of my favorite fast food places and that's a mountain I'd happily climb. Sadly the nearest one in deeep Queens almost Nassau. Rats.

ROAD TRIP

(You can drive, right?)
posted by griphus at 2:12 PM on August 26


Am I the only one annoyed at the whole 'Murica thing?
posted by Splunge at 2:13 PM on August 26 [8 favorites]


Because nothing says American Patriotism like eating enough meat to feed a family of four.
posted by Tevin at 2:17 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


How much meat is this REALLY, though? It's nine oz of deli meat, two small pieces of chicken, and 1.5 strips of bacon. Is that really so insane? That's, what, like a large-ish steak?
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:19 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


The only thing insane is the flavor.

it has crippling agoraphobia
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:20 PM on August 26 [10 favorites]


showbiz_liz: How much meat is this REALLY, though? It's nine oz of deli meat, two small pieces of chicken, and 1.5 strips of bacon. Is that really so insane?

You tell us.
posted by tonycpsu at 2:20 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Donate $100 to ALS, or eat a Meat Mountain and pour a bucket of ice water over your head

Make it a bucket of Arby's delicious horseradish-like sauce and you're on.

I wonder if Arby's horseradish sauce works as a hair conditioner...
posted by Nevin at 2:21 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Not even if I was still 19 and drunk off my ass.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:21 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


You tell us.

It looks mad.
posted by griphus at 2:21 PM on August 26 [4 favorites]


Am I the only one annoyed at the whole 'Murica thing?

Yeah it can be obnoxious, but they've been around for over two centuries now and and generally mean well, so what can you do?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:23 PM on August 26 [64 favorites]


I imagine when Frankenstein's monster's shambling consciousness rose trembling from the ether he was pretty upset too, griphus.
posted by Tevin at 2:23 PM on August 26


How much meat is this REALLY, though?

You're saying it's more of a meat molehill?
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 2:25 PM on August 26 [18 favorites]


We'd do well to recall the famous words of JFK in this time:

"Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation may never come again. But why, some say, the Meat Mountain? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why the Double Down? Why the Doritos Locos Taco? We choose to eat the Meat Mountain. We choose to eat the Meat Mountain in this decade and eat the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."
posted by ReadEvalPost at 2:26 PM on August 26 [13 favorites]


The Meat Mountain is a by-product of marketing, a spokesperson told Washington Post.


I would have thought it was a by-product of industrial beef tallow production.



I smell a fired spokesperson.


No, that's just the au jus.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:27 PM on August 26 [4 favorites]


I just can't get into it unless it's at one of the old Flintstones Arby's buildings
posted by thelonius at 2:28 PM on August 26


Someone should make little meat balls the size of milk duds and they come in a cardboard box, again like milk duds, so you can just tip them directly into your mouth.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:29 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


God, that looks good! A serious burger for serious carnivores.

But tracking down an Arbys might be harder than hunting a bull elk across the plains... Not too many of them left.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:30 PM on August 26


The thing about arby's meat is that it is so perfectly un meat like.

Even blenderized reconstituted pink goo shot through a flamethrower* would be better.

I worked in a deli at a grocery store and as an EMT. No mortal trauma was as gross as some of the stuff in the deli.

*burning man project for next year?
posted by poe at 2:30 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


the image....i keep scrolling down and there's always more coldcuts...
posted by Hoopo at 2:34 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


I used to eat Arby's sandwiches.

My boss brought them in for everyone, as an occasional special treat, a gesture that was largely unappreciated. I was usually able to avoid having to sit next to the boss while eating, instead taking the thing with me to eat while I was "finishing up work" where I could be seen to eat a few bites of the horrid thing. After enough time of the boss not looking that it might have actually been consumed it would be spirited away to the depths of the trash can.

There was always an extra sandwich. Always, the boss would ask the room if anyone wanted it, then ask each of the employees by name if they wanted the forlorn last sandwich.

No one ever claimed the last sandwich. Not once.

I haven't read the article or looked at the pictures, but I'll pay $15 not to eat it. 2bucksplus, I guess that makes you the winning bidder.
posted by yohko at 2:35 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


*burning man project for next year?

Make sure it's waterproof
posted by doctor_negative at 2:36 PM on August 26


I would definitely ask for a jamocha-vanilla-chocolate shake to wash it down!
posted by Metro Gnome at 2:37 PM on August 26


*comes with optional personal feedbag ,or, for just $5 more you get your own Family Fun Food Trough - perfect for the entire family!

(extremities and children should be kept away from Family Fun Food Trough, as they might be mistaken for a meat product)
posted by littlesq at 2:37 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Actually, I think I'll donate $15 to metafilter instead of eating an Arby's "sandwich" right now.
posted by yohko at 2:37 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


There, that was so much more enjoyable.
posted by yohko at 2:40 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


This simple junk food equation should straighten this right out: If Food=Crap, then 2xFood=2xCrap and 2xCrap≠Good Food.
posted by doctor_negative at 2:40 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Damnit, now I'm hungry and it's just the middle of the afternoon. Coldcuts all the way down...
posted by Kevin Street at 2:40 PM on August 26


The signs in the restaurants were confusing, so I wouldn't really call it a marketing success. At first glance, I thought it was an ad for a catering tray which doesn't interest me (or nearly anybody else.)

Also, why don't they just go ahead with the $15 version that puts a bed of curly fries between each meat?
posted by michaelh at 2:54 PM on August 26


Looks like something out of a CSI episode.

"The bullet entered here (points to left of screen) then ricocheted through his ribs like a pinball before exiting here (points to lower right corner). His thoracic cavity looks like it's been filled with pastrami. Poor bastard never had a chance."
posted by mosk at 2:58 PM on August 26 [4 favorites]


My colon weeps.
posted by jonp72 at 2:59 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Looks ridiculous, but what really makes me wonder is how how HOW do you eat that? Is anyone's mouth big enough to bite that?

On the other hand, 10 bucks for this, slap the meat on some other buns and you've got 5 decent sized sammiches.
posted by zardoz at 2:59 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


If the podcast I was listening to today is to be believed, this is viral marketing cobbled somewhere by the vast food-industrial complex, and it's only going to exacerbate my hijacked programming and addiction to unhealthy processed foods.

And yet.
posted by Apocryphon at 2:59 PM on August 26


Also, why don't they just go ahead with the $15 version that puts a bed of curly fries between each meat?

But that would spoil the pleistocene perfection of the Mountain. It doesn't even need a bun, really. Just drive a sharpened stick in there to hold it together.
posted by Kevin Street at 3:01 PM on August 26


If other Arbys customers come too close while you're consuming the Mountain, growl loudly and show them your incisors. They'll get the message.
posted by Kevin Street at 3:05 PM on August 26 [5 favorites]


vast food-industrial complex
read this as 'fast food-industrial complex'

this is truly an example of fast food becoming vast food
posted by ghostbikes at 3:06 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Looks like something out of a CSI episode.

Idea for webshort:

Police procedural only all the morgue scenes are filmed using deli meat to simulate injuries. Extreme closeups reveal blood and viscera are mustard, thousand island, &c. Bread/cheese/pickles in the background just out of focus. Also you can tell some of the actors just ate a slice, have some on their beard, sort of still chewing, etc.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:09 PM on August 26 [10 favorites]


If al Qaeda had attacked Arby's on 9/11, bin Laden would be on a stamp instead of the bottom of the ocean.
posted by Pudhoho at 3:09 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Maybe they should take a bunch of curly fries, link them all together with curled bacon strips as alternating chains, a real long string of carbs and protein and fats.

Call it the Red Viper.
posted by Apocryphon at 3:12 PM on August 26


Previously
posted by borkencode at 3:14 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:47 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.

posted by Wallace Shawn at 3:50 PM on August 26


It's not reviled by this Yank. I've always liked Arby's.
posted by chimaera at 3:50 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


Maybe they should take a bunch of curly fries, link them all together with curled bacon strips as alternating chains, a real long string of carbs and protein and fats.

Call it the Red Viper.


And then the Mountain could face the Red Viper in a thrilling but gruesome duel to determine the fate of another off-menu item, the Imp (a delicious mix of ham, cheese, and beef served in a bun baked golden brown that somehow is more filling than you would expect for the serving size).
posted by nubs at 3:52 PM on August 26


Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?

It's pretty good if you're drunk.

Or stoned.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:58 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


turbid dahlia: "Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?"

It's called a "buycott".
posted by boo_radley at 4:09 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?

Pretending you don't eat fast food, or only eat it ironically or when not in control of yourself, is pretty much an etiquette rule now.
posted by michaelh at 4:12 PM on August 26 [26 favorites]


Oh gods, all the moisture was just sucked out of my entire neighborhood, thinking about the salt content in that.
posted by MissySedai at 4:22 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


I really don't eat fast food. Maybe I do about once every 6 months. Come on America you can do better.
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:29 PM on August 26


ROAD TRIP

(You can drive, right?)


Yeah, but it's been years and that food cries out for alcohol.
posted by jonmc at 4:33 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Roast Beef sandwiches => RBs => Arby's

(That's not for the 99% of you who will say "duh," it's for the 1% who will say, as I once did, MY MIND IT IS BLOWN! Also, the 'Ex' in the FedEx logo makes an arrow.)
posted by straight at 4:40 PM on August 26 [14 favorites]


Hungry?

nope never again in my life thx for asking tho
posted by threeants at 4:57 PM on August 26


I wonder how many separate, distinct animals go into one bite?
posted by cacofonie at 5:13 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


I thought the quarter-pounder I get from Mickey D's was plenty of food.....
posted by easily confused


Plenty of something.
posted by spitbull at 5:17 PM on August 26


Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?

I worked at Arby's during high school and I love the taste. The sauces are delicious with that thin-sliced beef. (I also worked at Burger King and I have since made a point of never eating there.)
posted by Area Man at 5:34 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


My only memory of Arby's is food poisoning. Ain't never gonna make that mistake again. I'll eat dirt before I eat their shit sandwiches again.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:10 PM on August 26


Pretending you don't eat fast food, or only eat it ironically or when not in control of yourself, is pretty much an etiquette rule now.

This is so true.
posted by bleep at 6:11 PM on August 26


Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?

turbid dahlia, as the saying goes, there's no accounting for taste.

Also, some people who like Arby's are REALLY into Arby's.
posted by yohko at 6:14 PM on August 26


Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?

Arby's used to be pretty good when I was a kid. It was just thinly sliced roast beef sandwiches. Then at some point they switched from using just regular roast beef to using slices from this loaf of beef that seems like it is pressed together from lesser beef parts. About 15-20 years ago when I last tried Arby's someone said that there were still locations that didn't use this loaf thing. Anyway, this is my understanding. There is a chance it was always a loaf and my child pallet just wasn't smart enough to know, but I don't think so.
posted by ill3 at 6:19 PM on August 26


I found a link that agrees with my thoughts/memories (the best kind of link) that Arby's used to serve real meat.
posted by ill3 at 6:27 PM on August 26


cacofonie: I wonder how many separate, distinct animals go into one bite?

Well, one magical animal is responsible for several of them.
posted by tonycpsu at 6:35 PM on August 26


Roast Beef sandwiches => RBs => Arby's

That's awesome.
posted by leahwrenn at 6:39 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


turbid dahlia: "Can anybody give this poor unwashed ignorant Australian a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks, yet continues to exist and in fact appears to be quite prolific?"

For better or for worse, MeFi is not a representative sample of Americans.

(Personally, I love Arby's, but that may be because I can only have it once a year, when I visit America. Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt?)
posted by Bugbread at 6:46 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


I liked Arbys when they were still around. Sometimes they'd have a sale and we'd get five tiny little roast beef sandwiches for $5 and it was wonderful. There wasn't enough to one to pay more than a dollar each, though.
posted by Kevin Street at 7:08 PM on August 26


Thank god that Roy Rogers returned to my area so I can have roast beef again.

I could never quite put my finger on what was wrong about Arby's "roast" beef until I did a bit of research and found that it's basically beef cured like ham, then roasted, which explains the weird hamminess of Arby's sandwiches. Mind you, I love ham, too, but hambeef is a little spooky.
posted by sonascope at 7:12 PM on August 26


Also, I'm simply appalled to have to be the tiniest bit vulgar here, but it's awfully peculiar that an Arby's Beef 'N' Cheddar that you're painfully shitting out has virtually the same aroma profile as it did when you first peeled back the wrapper…or so I hear.

That shit's just wrong.
posted by sonascope at 7:14 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


sonascope: "I could never quite put my finger on what was wrong about Arby's "roast" beef until I did a bit of research and found that it's basically beef cured like ham, then roasted"

Ah, ok, that may explain why I don't care for actual roast beef but I kinda like Arby's.

sonascope: "it's awfully peculiar that an Arby's Beef 'N' Cheddar that you're painfully shitting out has virtually the same aroma profile as it did when you first peeled back the wrapper"

Setting aside the smell issue...maybe you should be seeing a doctor about that pain?
posted by Bugbread at 7:17 PM on August 26


I mean, it's fast food. It's fine, if you want fast food roast beef sandwiches. They do a couple of things that make them slightly more interesting - onions on the buns, Arby's sauce, curly fries - but they're basically just another fast food place.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:19 PM on August 26


My colon weeps.

That's just the Olestra, happens to everyone...
posted by rock swoon has no past at 7:21 PM on August 26 [7 favorites]


The ever helpful snopes.com has weighed in on Arby's roast beef. Conclusion: it isn't made from a meat-based gel.

Claim: Arby's roast beef is made from a paste, gel, powder, or liquid.
A number of sources of our acquaintance who have worked in the kitchens and at the counters of various Arby's bear out what the corporation has to say. They told us that the beef arrives pre-packaged at each restaurant, leaving employees of each franchise only to cut open the plastic, place the roasts on cooking sheets, and cook them for three hours before cooling, slicing, and serving.
posted by Kevin Street at 7:23 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Chrysostom: but they're basically just another fast food place.

The roast beef is just okay, IMHO, but I think focusing on the roast beef gives short shrift to their deli-style sandwiches. Nobody's going to confuse an Arby's reuben for something you'd find at Katz's, but it's fast food, and if you apply the fast food grading curve, their non-roast-beef sandwiches aren't bad at all -- certainly something I'd rather have than a Whopper or Big Mac in most cases.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:38 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


One word: sodium.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:40 PM on August 26


Two words: two words.
posted by Bugbread at 7:53 PM on August 26 [7 favorites]


There's actually a really nice Arby's in Richmond, va that they're using to test market a Boston Market style menu with rotisserie chicken, etc. it's actually quite nice.
posted by empath at 7:55 PM on August 26


Meat Mountain?

(I, too, unironically like Arby's)
posted by dirigibleman at 7:58 PM on August 26


I don't get the brou-ha-ha. That looks like about as much meat as you get on a real, good deli sandwich. Hell, I routinely get tortas from the taqueria near me that have just as much meat. They only cost 6.50, and I can get homemade horchata for a dollar.

(Brb, just made myself hungry)

Now, the key difference is that you don't eat either of those in one sitting. But then again, I guess we don't know that people are eating the Meat Mountain in one sitting either.
posted by Itaxpica at 8:22 PM on August 26


Can we offer Paris Hilton to the Meat Mountain as a sacrifice of appeasement?
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 8:28 PM on August 26


Paris Hilton. Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.
posted by Bugbread at 8:31 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


homemade horchata for a dollar.

You can't see it, but this is my jealous face.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:40 PM on August 26


* Contains no actual meat.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:40 PM on August 26


Arby's started selling an off-menu item called the Meat Mountain.

AKA "The Mountain That Rides" straight to my arteries.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:44 PM on August 26 [2 favorites]


The "A" in PETA stands for "Arby's."
posted by 4ster at 8:47 PM on August 26


People for the Ethical Treatment of Arby's?
posted by Bugbread at 8:54 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


Paris Hilton. Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.

Yeah... I only mention her because she's in a Carl's Jr ad that seems to air during every commercial break on every sports channel.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 9:05 PM on August 26


The old China hands used to tell of the Arby's in the ferry port on the Hong Kong side. They'd take orders from everyone on the mainland and then put them in an insulated bag so they were still warm when they got off the ferry after an hour's sail. People used to send their drivers down to pick up their sandwiches.

I'd eat Arby's in preference to KFC, but there's other things I'd eat first.
posted by arcticseal at 10:18 PM on August 26


Gyro >> Arby's
posted by five fresh fish at 10:20 PM on August 26 [1 favorite]


At the Meat Mountains of Madness.
By R. B. Lovecraft
posted by hot_monster at 10:25 PM on August 26 [5 favorites]


I was going to say... I would buy that, divvy it up, and serve it with rice.

Because I'm weird like that.
posted by aroweofshale at 10:25 PM on August 26


Make it a bucket of Arby's delicious horseradish-like sauce and you're on.

That's "Horsey Sauce."

It is not proper to ask if the sauce is made from, by, or in horses.

This is because it's not Horse Sauce, it's Horsey Sauce. Instead, ask which it tastes as if was true: from, by, or in. And which characteristic of the horse was considered important enough to be emulated by that artificial process.
posted by JHarris at 11:51 PM on August 26 [3 favorites]


Fast food can be yummy, but Arby's? Arby's can't be yummy.
posted by oceanjesse at 12:07 AM on August 27




And no, that wasn't a "Chinese people would eat anything" joke.

I've been there. I've had to eat stuff in that fashion. Usually with family. We would divvy up all our meals and share it. (Contrary to what it probably sounds like with all the short sentences, it's not meant to sound bitter. Please trust me on this.)

But I dunno. Arby's meat seems pretty inoffensive to me. Is it different up here in Alberta, or something?
posted by aroweofshale at 12:55 AM on August 27


A. Close, but not quite. It comes from our founders, Leroy and Forrest Raffel, the Raffel Brothers, or "RB."

Unfortunately, I not only kinda like Arby's, I also kinda like the Bee Gees.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 1:36 AM on August 27 [1 favorite]


My only memory of Arby's is food poisoning. Ain't never gonna make that mistake again. I'll eat dirt before I eat their shit sandwiches again.
I may have solved the mystery!
posted by fullerine at 3:33 AM on August 27 [2 favorites]


a pithy rundown on why Arby's is so reviled by y'all Yanks,

For the most part, they serve anemic roast beef sandwiches where the super-thinly-sliced beef is so marinated in some artificial briny chemical solution that it no longer tastes like beef at all, and then on many of their sandwiches they drown that ersatz beef in a plasticy-cheese sauce so that a velveeta-like glop is all you taste.

They've also got a vile, super-sweet, supposed horseradish condiment they embarrassingly call "horsey" sauce. Because average folks would be terrified by something actually called horseradish, I guess, it's not like anyone ever heard of horseradish on beef, right? (Of course the horsey sauce is mostly oil, sweetener, and salt anyhow, with just the barest hint of tang.)

The last time I went to an Arby's was about 10 years ago when they introduced their reuben sandwiches. I like reubens pretty well, but what they gave me had dry rye bread that was not toasted or grilled, American cheese instead of swiss, and about three strands of sauerkraut. I mean, I'm not sure why I expected the lame local Arby's would be able to actually make a semi-decent reuben, but they didn't even try. When I asked why the bread was not grilled the kid at the counter looked at me like I was speaking Urdu, so like any good fast-food patron I ate my crap quickly and left.
posted by aught at 6:59 AM on August 27


Honestly 90% of complaints about Arby's are because the prices are so high. If their sandwiches were more McDonald's-priced people would lower their standards.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:22 AM on August 27


I'm kind of surprised to see this thing from Arby's.

I mean, as fast-food places go, Arby's is kind of stodgy and grown-up. They don't make a big deal out of mascots or kids meals, the regular menu includes things like French dips, Reubens and a vaguely-coffee-flavored milkshake, and their limited-time items aren't usually viral-stunt-y.

And the origin story, where Arby's makes up a promotional poster for inside the stores with a big stack of meat on it, and then people come up to the counter and are like 'hey, can I get that thing on the sign?' And then the guy at the counter is, like, 'whatever, fuck it, ten bucks'? Perfect.
posted by box at 7:51 AM on August 27 [2 favorites]


In Chicago you can get one that includes portions of fingers from future mayors!
posted by srboisvert at 11:35 AM on August 27


I was a grown-ass adult before I ever made the connection between "Horsey Sauce" and "horseradish."
posted by webmutant at 1:20 PM on August 27 [1 favorite]


In Arby's defense, growing up, I loved that their kid's meals included Mr. Men books. Good stuff.
posted by Mr. Six at 1:07 AM on August 30


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