Methadone For Phone Addicts

September 10, 2014 8:18 AM

At a party or other social engagement and you really want to talk to people but the screen pulls you away every time? Then you need the NoPhone.
posted by Xurando (15 comments total)

Well I'm calling it: Plastic has officially jumped the shark.
posted by Western Infidels at 8:20 AM on September 10, 2014

Can't stop looking at your cellphone? Then you need the NoPhone. help.
posted by 2bucksplus at 8:25 AM on September 10, 2014

Sort of like the dehydrated water for sale. Just add water. Just add phone. Or, heaven forbid, learn to talk directly to people. Probably should get this as a stocking stuffer for my 18, 19 and 20 yr old kids.
posted by 724A at 8:26 AM on September 10, 2014

And yet, you can still play Clash of Clans on it.
posted by Etrigan at 8:27 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

“Share selfies with your friends if they’re standing behind you,”

haaaaahaahhahahahahahahhahaha
posted by phunniemee at 8:31 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

The noPhone simulates the exact weight and dimensions of your most beloved gadget in order to alleviate any feelings of inadequacy generated by the absence of a real smartphone.

A Pet Rock for the new millennium.
posted by chavenet at 8:33 AM on September 10, 2014

This is silly. A brick would serve the same purpose, with the added feature of being an excellent weapon, in case someone tried to talk to you.
posted by orme at 8:35 AM on September 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

I like this as a cute art project.

I'll add, though, that my dumbphone actually serves this purpose, except it can also call people in an emergency! It's a miracle device.
posted by threeants at 8:38 AM on September 10, 2014

methaphone! I love this just for kickstarter page.
posted by drowsy at 8:39 AM on September 10, 2014

Cute, but isn't this an active Kickstarter?
posted by 256 at 8:39 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

is this an okay space, actually, to complain about how dumbphones inexplicably come with no games whatsoever nowadays? if my phone could have Snake in 2002, why am I left so barren and gameless today? o woe
posted by threeants at 8:39 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is it weird if my no phone is a gun covered with mirror stickers?
posted by oceanjesse at 8:40 AM on September 10, 2014

I'd get one, but my invisible dog would chew it up or bury it in the yard.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:43 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

I can see why some people would like it, but it's not big enough for me. I hope they introduce at least a 6 inch screen next year.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:45 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

I would hold off and wait for gen 2; rumors are that there will be gorilla plastic involved. No official word yet, but the ex-apple employee who made the claim had their SF apartment raided by a SWAT team dressed all white in turtlenecks last night, which seems official. #plasticgate
posted by oceanjesse at 8:46 AM on September 10, 2014