“Son, Men Don’t Get Raped”

September 15, 2014 7:59 AM

"Sexual assault is alarmingly common in the U.S. military, and more than half of the victims are men. According to the Pentagon, thirty-eight military men are sexually assaulted every single day. These are the stories you never hear—because the culprits almost always go free, the survivors rarely speak, and no one in the military or Congress has done enough to stop it." A tough read from GQ. Could be triggering.
posted by showbiz_liz (39 comments total)

Uh, I would edit that to is triggering. There's graphic descriptions of assaults in the piece.
posted by viggorlijah at 8:03 AM on September 15, 2014

I said "could be triggering" because, of course, nothing is going to trigger EVERYONE. But yes, there are graphic descriptions of rape.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:07 AM on September 15, 2014 [5 favorites]

Previously (not a double, just a similar article from 2011)
posted by gatorae at 8:21 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well, shit. Glad these stories are getting told, at least. I can't summon any coherent response to the entrenched, horrific fuckedupness.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:28 AM on September 15, 2014

Prior to 2011 (repeal of don't ask don't tell) male rape victims could be discharged for having engaged in homosexual conduct, the article says.

Jesus wept, what happened to "never leave a man behind?"
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:40 AM on September 15, 2014 [8 favorites]

So glad that this is being raised as an issue. Rape affects both men and women, and it hard to claim that a guy dressed in uniform "was asking for it".
Hope that articles like this help push the military towards real change in its sexual assault and harassment policy, and that justice is served.
posted by troytroy at 9:07 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

If you haven't seen it, The Invisible War is an incredibly powerful 2012 documentary on rape in the military. It mostly focuses on the rape of female military personnel, but there is one man included in the small group of rape survivors whose stories the movie relates. It is, as you would expect, very hard to watch. I made the mistake of watching it in the evening right up until my bedtime, and I didn't get to sleep on time that night because I was otherwise occupied pacing the floor in a rage.
posted by orange swan at 9:13 AM on September 15, 2014 [11 favorites]

jesus fuck that was hard to read, like "bathroom break for puking" hard to read. i got to the guy who said "i haven't told anyone in 50 years" and just fucking lost it.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:26 AM on September 15, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have been sexually assaulted - by an unhinged woman. She went on to drug and rape a (male) friend of mine. It's real, and it's not just homosexual rape. I'm glad it's finally getting press. Domestic violence on men, as well - violence is not more acceptable because it is unusual, nor directed at people in more "empowered" groups.

And the military is behind the curve, and victim blaming? My shocked face is at the cleaners, or I'd put it on.

As for the trigger warning not being clear enough... Really? Can we assume that people who want fair warning have reasonable intelligence?
posted by IAmBroom at 10:42 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

My God.

The only thing I can say is: fuck Congress. Obama is the boss of the military, he needs to watch that video from the Australian Army a couple years ago, absorb its lessons, and issue orders to change how the military deals with sexual assault.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:00 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

Trigger warnings don't necessarily indicate severity, and this was a graphic read, to say the least. It's hard for me to even take an analytical approach to the abject horror and inhumanity of it all.

At the beginning of the article, I was mentally drawing comparisons to the stigma surrounding prison rape, but now... Why is the concept of prison rape so satirized and popularized compared to military rape? Military sexual trauma or MST (it's really fucking disgusting this happens so much it needs a watered-down abbreviation, by the way) appears to be so much more prevalent and consequential, but prison rape is often used as the popular media's bogeyman for guaranteed male emasculation.

Maybe it was better PR for America's colloquial discourse to be "whatever you do, don't go to prison" rather than "whatever you do, don't join the military." Like it's okay to laugh about the prison version because those guys are defined as criminals and not human beings or anything, but when it's an innocent soldier who wants nothing more than to serve and is willing to sacrifice their lives for The Greatest Country in the World™? Maybe just shut up about it entirely. We don't want people to know Uncle Sam is a rapist. He's probably not even your real uncle.

I'm still left wondering what kind of monster condones this savagery and promises to filibuster a bill protecting victims of sexual assault, but I'm not left wondering long.
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 11:06 AM on September 15, 2014 [10 favorites]

For those of you who can't stomach the article--and ain't a soul alive who blames you if you can't--there's a resource list at the end, if you or someone you know has survived military sexual assault and wants help.

I quote below:

One of the most awful things about sexual assault is the way it alienates survivors from the people who care about and can help them. MST survivors are at increased risk for PTSD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide. Men may be at even greater risk than women, because they tend to keep silent about being assaulted and not to seek help.

You should investigate your own branch of the VA to see what benefits may be available to you there. The following organizations can also be of assistance in connecting you to help for psychological and/or legal issues:

Protect Our Defenders

POD is the nation's leading advocacy and support group for survivors of military sexual trauma. Their searchable Help page lists a wide array of local and national services, including MST treatment, legal help, and family therapy.

National Veterans Legal Services Program

Staffed by pro bono lawyers from some of the nation's most prestigious firms, NVLSP provides free legal assistance for veterans who have been denied benefits for, among other causes, PTSD related to military sexual trauma.

Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

IAVA's free Rapid Response Referral Program puts veterans in touch with a case manager who can assist them with, among other things, filing disability claims and finding both mental health treatment and housing.

Disabled American Veterans

DAV provides free counseling and represents veterans who file claims for physical or mental-health issues.

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network

RAINN, the nation's largest anti-sexual-assault organization, maintains a general sexual-assault helpline plus a DoD-specific one for active servicemen and women.

MaleSurvivor

Through its forums, this small but active online community offers peer-to-peer discussion and support for men who have experienced sexual assault, as well as for their families and friends.
posted by magstheaxe at 11:17 AM on September 15, 2014 [12 favorites]

That's all well and good, MoonOrb, but I don't get how relaxing prohibitions for smaller infractions is supposed to address the fact that the severe infractions are already going unpunished, even when they are reported. It seems like there's a difference between not coming forward about the awesome blowjob you got under the stairs and suffering with sexual trauma in silence for 50 years.

A big part of this issue is that the military has a "love 'em and leave 'em" kind of relationship where, although they can't just up and discharge individuals for being assaulted anymore, they still don't care enough to provide these people with the therapy and services they so desperately need after leaving the armed forces.
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 11:27 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

That's all well and good, MoonOrb, but I don't get how relaxing prohibitions for smaller infractions is supposed to address the fact that the severe infractions are already going unpunished

The point is, if even consensual behavior is stigmatized and there's a culture of not discussing it, then of course it will be harder to come out and say you were raped. It's not about "smaller infractions," it's about victims fearing punishment if they report infractions.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:32 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

Everyone knows that rape victims are going to be accused of consenting, and that at least some people will never, ever believe you didn't consent, no matter what. If you know that people are punished for consenting to this stuff, would you report it?
posted by elizilla at 11:46 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

Okay. Then I understand reducing prohibitions to encourage victims to report more, but I see the culture of silence in this case being more about the power structure and chain of command than anything else.

It just seems like those reductions would only address the part of the problem involving peers assaulting peers and not the "your word against your commanding officer's" side of it. But I guess it also depends on whether you're looking at addressing the consequences of the assaults versus increasing the likelihood of them being reported in the first place. And any step forward is a sign of progress, so I'm not going to harp on anyone's honest attempts at brainstorming solutions here.
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 11:49 AM on September 15, 2014

How do you take a group of people for whom violence is what they do, strength is what they do, dominance is what they do, and then assume those actions will not be part of their personal lives? People I meet in the military are really likely to have macho* attitudes - Just go kick some ass. The term 'warrior culture' is not a joke; it's everywhere on base.

Until the military decides that sexual assault is completely unacceptable, and chooses to act on that, it's not going to change.

*aggressive pride in masculinity, supreme valuation of characteristics culturally associated with the masculine and a denigration of characteristics associated with the feminine. Masculine/ macho characteristics include strength, domineering, fierceness, bravado, control, power, stoicism, etc., in ways that are showily and histrionically tough.
posted by theora55 at 12:10 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

It just seems like those reductions would only address the part of the problem

Well, good then. At least it addresses part of it.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 12:47 PM on September 15, 2014

Why is the concept of prison rape so satirized and popularized compared to military rape?

It is societally acceptable to mock the trauma of prisoners, who are generally dehumanized and overwhelmingly POC. Many people view prison rape as part of the punishment. It is not acceptable to do the same to soldiers.
posted by NoraReed at 2:53 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

There are good reasons for some of these prohibitions to exist... But a lot of the other things on this list are these sort of morality-based rules that have little to do with good order and discipline.

I can only imagine that sexual repression is thought of as a great way to nurture people's killer instincts.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 2:59 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Many people view prison rape as part of the punishment.

Just yesterday I drove by an anti-meth billboard on the side of the highway that used exactly that threat. (And in googling for an image of the billboard, it seems to have been in national use for more than half a decade, and discussed here on MeFi as far back as 2008.)
posted by Dip Flash at 4:52 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Wow. That's really gross and creepy.
posted by NoraReed at 5:09 PM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not that these stories are bad or don't need to be told, but what's with Cracked? Is it like sexual abuse month over there or what?
posted by localroger at 5:27 PM on September 15, 2014

Just to clarify, the military does not want sexual assault. Most sane people in modern societies don't. It's not some sexual repression to "nurture people's killer instincts". It's not some sort of punishment.

Quite frankly, the military sees sexual assault as something inconvenient, the lesser of two evils, or at least something that isn't a priority. It deplores sexual assault, but often tries to juggle eradicating it with other desires, and in doing so, often fails to follow through.

There's a lot of reasons, but the biggest is that the unique "closeness" the military fosters makes the social distance needed to 1) come forward, 2) desire to prosecute, and 3) not retaliate against victims much more difficult.

This isn't to excuse the military hierarchy; failure to stop horrendous crimes because it's inconvenient is in and of itself a horrendous crime. Still, it's good to approach the bureaucracy from the right angle. Taking the decision out of the immediate chain of command is a good start.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 5:43 PM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Angry.
posted by Nelson at 8:35 PM on September 15, 2014

Just to clarify, the military does not want sexual assault. Most sane people in modern societies don't.

Of course they don't want sexual assault, but they want other, existing things more than they want to stop sexual assault. They also would rather not pay for the treatment of the trauma caused by the sexual assault that they enable.
posted by NoraReed at 8:47 PM on September 15, 2014 [5 favorites]

My point exactly.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 8:53 PM on September 15, 2014

God, that was fucked up. What especially got to me was the small sized guy being (rightly) afraid of the "Twin Towers" guys. You never hear about men getting raped because they were small and weak like women. I assume that unless you guys are in prison, just by virtue of having a penis and testosterone, you never ever have to worry about this.

"I see the culture of silence in this case being more about the power structure and chain of command than anything else."

Yeah, the superior officer being all, "I don't want to deal with a sergeant I like doing this. I don't want it to have happened," good god.

"How do you take a group of people for whom violence is what they do, strength is what they do, dominance is what they do, and then assume those actions will not be part of their personal lives?"

Yup. The only way you win is if you are big and strong enough to beat the living crap out of and rape everyone smaller than you. Then you're a Real Man. And our entire culture is based around this.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:33 PM on September 15, 2014

here too

http://www.theage.com.au/nsw/young-sailor-hogtied-and-raped-at-his-navy-farewell-ceremony-court-martial-told-20140916-10hjwi.html
posted by evil_esto at 2:32 AM on September 16, 2014

My Guard unit is going to spend an entire drill weekend training everyone on SHARP, which is Sexual Harrassment/Assault Response and Prevention.

This has become an annual event, and will be for the foreseeable future.

Along with this, selected individuals are appointed and trained as peer-level sexual assault or harrassment go-to people, so that if someone has been sexually assaulted they can bring it to them, if they don't feel comfortable going through the regular chain of command.

This is one out of twelve times a year we assemble to train to go to war, so I think it's a fair indication of how seriously it's being taken. Every incoming commander at every level is required to outline in writing their policies and expectations of their subordinates on many topics, sexual assault being one of them. Mostly this is boilerplate, but the awareness is definitely there.
posted by atchafalaya at 7:14 AM on September 16, 2014

I found Breaking The Male Code: After Steubenville, A Call To Action which I'm currently in the middle of watching.
posted by Strass at 9:45 AM on September 16, 2014

If you haven't seen it, The Invisible War is an incredibly powerful 2012 documentary...

Seconded on the excellence of that documentary, and I had the same reaction afterwards. I doubt that she will, but if my daughter ever does display an interest in the military, I will do everything in my power to discourage her. It's just not safe for women, and apparently not for a lot of men either. And I served 12+ years in the Navy, sub service, what was described in this article was not my experience in the Navy. Kind of difficult for that sort of thing to be taking place in the close quarters of a sub.
posted by e1c at 9:45 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Kind of difficult for that sort of thing to be taking place in the close quarters of a sub.

Difficult? Maybe. All of these cases seemed to happen in close quarters, though. Predators are motivated. What we've learned in recent studies about rape on college campus is likely the same, to some degree, for rape everywhere. A significant percentage of rapists are calculated rapists. They have a plan. They are repeat offenders. Rape culture, patriarchy, hierarchy provides shelter to these crimes.
posted by amanda at 12:27 PM on September 16, 2014

e1c: Kind of difficult for that sort of thing to be taking place in the close quarters of a sub.

By that theory, it would be in unlikely in prison, too.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:34 PM on September 16, 2014

By that theory, it would be in unlikely in prison, too.

Have you ever toured one of the subs that is open as a museum? The two I've toured are in San Francisco and Mobile, AL, and they are unbelievably claustrophobic. There is basically no such thing as private space on a sub. Nuclear subs might be a bit more open, but given the costs of open space in a submersible environment I kind of doubt that even they are as open as a prison.
posted by localroger at 4:48 PM on September 16, 2014

On a fast attack submarine, there are spaces during hours that people don't always hang out in: engineering spaces, for example. Sad to say, there are brief moments of physical isolation and location that a rapist could take advantage of if he were cunning, which sadly many are.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 5:42 PM on September 16, 2014

localroger: Have you ever toured one of the subs that is open as a museum?

Have you seen an ultra-max prison? Privacy is the opposite of what prisoners are given - at least outside of solitary confinement.
posted by IAmBroom at 10:13 AM on September 17, 2014

14,000 sexual assaults committed in the military in 2012.

That's an astounding number. Men we have paid to train are doing this to other men and women we have paid to train.

When is something going to be done about this?

WHEN THE FUCK IS SOMETHING ACTUALLY GOING TO BE DONE?
posted by hippybear at 1:17 AM on September 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

My heart weeps for these men. I cannot imagine enduring something like this on your own for 30, 50 years. And what incredible betrayal they have suffered, on so many levels. I wish there was more that could be done to help but after reading this article, I am not so optimistic.
posted by sevenofspades at 10:43 AM on September 18, 2014