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October 3, 2014 7:02 AM

The Osmonds meet Led Zeppelin: A secret history of Mormon heavy metal Money quote: "...the Osmonds’ metal moment even won them converts among no less an infernal cabal than the mighty Led Zeppelin." Invokes fond memories of an era in which "boy bands" could come out with concept albums.
posted by Sheydem-tants (22 comments total)

"Crazy Horses" was, is now and always will be a MOTHERFUCKIN' JAM! Glad to see "weird" Osmonds music get some love,
posted by KingEdRa at 7:26 AM on October 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

Stealing Choo-Choo's signature dance step.
posted by Zerowensboring at 7:29 AM on October 3, 2014

Well, okay, Crazy Horses isn't exactly Go Away, Little Girl, but it's still "metal" with a horn section.

I doubt the boys will be burning down any Norwegian churches anytime soon.
posted by Naberius at 7:42 AM on October 3, 2014

in july of 1972, foghat's first album was released with "i just wanna make love to you" on it

on 11/11/72 crazy horses debuted on the top 40, according to whitburn's book

i was going to accuse them of taking the synth part from uriah heep's "sweet lorraine", too, but that was released the same month, which only proves that just as great ideas can simultaneously be discovered by different people, so can bad ones
posted by pyramid termite at 8:15 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

I can't tell which one is Donny. I think they are all Donny.
posted by crank at 8:16 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

WE are all donny

now excuse me while i get drunk
posted by pyramid termite at 8:19 AM on October 3, 2014 [4 favorites]

WTF? I lived through this period and this is complete news to me. I think The Donny and Marie Show kinda retroactively erased this phase of the Osmond career from everyone's mind.
posted by yoink at 8:54 AM on October 3, 2014

Wow. I thought for sure this was fake (like the soul covers of David Bowie songs) and then I listened to it and watched the video. Weirdly, painfully real / amazing.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 9:02 AM on October 3, 2014

I thought Psy Gangnam Style was an innovation, not a throwback. Wow.
posted by bukvich at 9:11 AM on October 3, 2014

I was right in the middle of the target demographic for preteen crushes on Donny so of course I had this record. When I got a little older (and too "cool" to own an Osmonds record) I gave it to the slightly younger girl across the street. Despite my apparent disdain I remember a few times spent in her basement with the neighborhood kids freaking out to this tune. That and Vicki Sue Robinson's "Turn The Beat Around."
posted by Sheydem-tants at 9:22 AM on October 3, 2014

this is my favorite thing today. high weirdness.
posted by bobdow at 9:30 AM on October 3, 2014

"Crazy Horses" was, is now and always will be a MOTHERFUCKIN' JAM! Glad to see "weird" Osmonds music get some love,

Seeing this makes me wonder what other amazing shit have I totally forgotten about.

Sheydem-tants, I don't have a basement but you can come over and freak out to "Turn The Beat Around" any time.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:21 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

I can't tell which one is Donny. I think they are all Donny.

The miming is really off on this performance. Notice the drum kit off to the right with no one playing it? That's cuz the drumbro is out front singing lead.

From left to right:

• Donny (keybro, no lead vocals, no camera time)
• Alan (rhythm guitbro)
• Merrill (bassbro, lead vocals on the chorus)
• Wayne (lead guitarbro)
• Jay (lead vocals on the verses, telepathic drumbro)

Here's a live-er performance - though still sweetened in post-production. Gives a little better idea of what they could actually do live playing their own instruments. Leadbro must've had a trainwreck, cuz they've cut in a different 'solo'. And watch Bassbro's cowboy hat shift around on his head from shot to shot. A composite of 'live' performances.

Crazy Horses isn't exactly Go Away, Little Girl, but it's still "metal" with a horn section

Earache My Eye -- 'Alice Bowie'

in july of 1972, foghat' . . .released "i just wanna make love to you" . . . I was going to accuse them of taking the synth part from uriah heep's "sweet lorraine" . . .

I don't think this sounds like either of those records. But now you know someone else has heard Heep's "Sweet Lorraine" and admits it. So there is that.

Weird . . . weirdness . . .

So what's weird?
 
posted by Herodios at 10:40 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

I always assumed that the Osmonds grew up singing that Primary song and ripped it off, consciously or not. Unfortunately, since the church published a revised children's songbook in the mid-80s, I'm having trouble finding the initial publication and copyright date for the Primary song, and the earliest reference I can find to it is in a Dialogue article from 1985 that references the song's publication in a 1980 songbook. It's making me wonder if the Osmonds ripped off the Primary song or whether - and this would be even more funny - the Primary song ripped off the Osmonds.

I'm thinking back on the Primary songs I sang as a kid and I'm failing to figure out which one you're talking about.
posted by jessssse at 11:28 AM on October 3, 2014

Donny (keybro, no lead vocals, no camera time)
Alan (rhythm guitbro)
Merrill (bassbro, lead vocals on the chorus)
Wayne (lead guitarbro)
Jay (lead vocals on the verses, telepathic drumbro)

I just realized that you could have put any series of names in there after "Donny" and I'd have had no idea if you were making them up or not. John Osmond, Peter Osmond, Bill Osmond, Jed Osmond, Biff Osmond, Burt Osmond, Brad Osmond...I'd have nodded along and thought "yeah, that was them."

Man, they must have haaaaated Donny sometimes.
posted by yoink at 11:29 AM on October 3, 2014

yoink, you left out Jeb Osmond and George W. Osmond.

I bought the Crazy Horses 45RPM single when it was a hit, but I was 9, so there's my excuse. When I listen to the Osmonds now I can almost take them seriously, unless I look at the video of them jumping around on stage with their goofy smiles and Fat Elvis jumpsuits and it all falls apart. I don't understand how even the Osmonds can be that excited about the music and get into it that much. Also, the members of Led Zeppelin were taking a lot of drugs then, so there's that.
posted by Daddy-O at 11:32 AM on October 3, 2014

I just realized that you could have put any series of names in there after "Donny" and I'd have had no idea if you were making them up or not.

Frank Farkel
Fanny Farkel
Mark Farkel
Sparkle Farkel
Fritz Farkel
Fred Farkel
the twins, Simon & Garr Farkel, and her:
["Hiiiii!!"]
. . . Flicker Farkel
 
posted by Herodios at 12:37 PM on October 3, 2014

But now you know someone else has heard Heep's "Sweet Lorraine" and admits it.

dude, i was 15 at the time - it's not like i could have avoided it

(god, i even remember hearing crazy horses on the radio, too ...)

i even remember bloodrock's d o a

*rubs hands together evilly*

don't get me started on linking to the awful crap i heard back then - just don't
posted by pyramid termite at 12:38 PM on October 3, 2014

i even remember bloodrock's d o a

AI-I-I-I-I-I-I re ^mem _BURRRRR . . .

don't get me started on linking to the awful crap i heard back then - just don't

Why bother? The biggest movie of the year revolves (apparently) around that particular crappy mixtape.
 
posted by Herodios at 12:49 PM on October 3, 2014

One of the Osmonds, I'm assuming Jimmy, said in a documentary that they used Led Zep's PA when they toured. He said the Osmonds were the loudest band in the world. The band always set up the same way, so now Merrill is deaf in his left ear and Jay is deaf in his right ear, because they were the ears next to the left hand and right hand side speaker stacks every night. And they still couldn't hear their instruments because the girls screaming was so loud.
posted by devious truculent and unreliable at 1:58 PM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ok, there's no one here but us, right? Because this could ruin my reputation:

I still own my original copies of both albums mentioned.

If word of this ever gets out, I will disappear you all. I know where you live.


(Also, at the time of release, the rumor was that Crazy Horses was an anti-heroin song.)
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:11 PM on October 3, 2014

From left to right:
Donny (keybro, no lead vocals, no camera time)
Alan (rhythm guitbro)
Merrill (bassbro, lead vocals on the chorus)
Wayne (lead guitarbro)
Jay (lead vocals on the verses, telepathic drumbro)

Let us not forget Virl and Tom Osmond, the deaf non-musical Osmond brothers. They hold the distinction of being the first missionaries of the Mormon church to use sign language.
posted by jonp72 at 7:03 PM on October 4, 2014