Bad News Beards
October 3, 2014 8:03 AM Subscribe
Who's the hairiest team in baseball? The Washington Post weighted the style of facial hair, or lack thereof, of all active ballplayers on a scale of 0 to 8 — zero being clean shaven, eight being the grizzliest — then calculated the average hairiness of each team.
Where do I direct my philanthropic donations in order to further this important and valuable research in other sports?
posted by poffin boffin at 8:13 AM on October 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 8:13 AM on October 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
Fun fact: Jayson Werth was an extra in The Road.
posted by crank at 8:19 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by crank at 8:19 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
Aww what no actual pictures?
posted by Quilford at 8:20 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Quilford at 8:20 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
Troika, helpfully derailing my "I'm just going to put baseball out of my mind for the next hour and try to get some work done" plan.
/paces around office anxiously
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:21 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
/paces around office anxiously
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:21 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
There's something vaguely creepy about the fact that they catalogued this....
posted by schmod at 8:42 AM on October 3, 2014
posted by schmod at 8:42 AM on October 3, 2014
GO NATS
DEATH TO THE NON BEARD-LIEVERS
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:45 AM on October 3, 2014 [7 favorites]
DEATH TO THE NON BEARD-LIEVERS
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:45 AM on October 3, 2014 [7 favorites]
Okay, first of all, playoff beards is something baseball has totally ripped off from hockey (pics within for those who want them). And I challenge your so called baseball beards with NHL player Brent Burns, who has more facial hair than entire MLB teams.
posted by barchan at 8:45 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by barchan at 8:45 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
There's something vaguely creepy about the fact that they catalogued this....
What do you mean? I've been doing an informal cataloguing of all beards I encounter everywhere for decades now.
Conclusion: the world still needs moar beards
posted by hippybear at 8:48 AM on October 3, 2014 [4 favorites]
What do you mean? I've been doing an informal cataloguing of all beards I encounter everywhere for decades now.
Conclusion: the world still needs moar beards
posted by hippybear at 8:48 AM on October 3, 2014 [4 favorites]
Playoff beards aside if James Harden and Brian Wilson were to somehow merge or breed it would result in the best post-season athlete of all time.
posted by vapidave at 8:52 AM on October 3, 2014
posted by vapidave at 8:52 AM on October 3, 2014
Heck, I took to watching Cubs games on TV just because their bullpen was fully stocked with shaggy haired beardyfaces.
posted by hippybear at 8:58 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 8:58 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
Twins > Trevor Plouffe > Full Beard
He runs the gamut from clean shaven to full beard, with lots of stubble in between.
posted by soelo at 9:23 AM on October 3, 2014
He runs the gamut from clean shaven to full beard, with lots of stubble in between.
posted by soelo at 9:23 AM on October 3, 2014
i'm going to sound like i live under a rock for not knowing this but- the yankees have a mandatory clean-cut policy!? that's draconian!
do they require eyebrow plucking? and what about pubes? leg and arm hair?
posted by ghostbikes at 9:23 AM on October 3, 2014
do they require eyebrow plucking? and what about pubes? leg and arm hair?
posted by ghostbikes at 9:23 AM on October 3, 2014
I'm old enough to remember Steinbrenner giving Mattingly grief over his facial hair.
posted by Renoroc at 9:27 AM on October 3, 2014
posted by Renoroc at 9:27 AM on October 3, 2014
Way too much facial hair in baseball these days for my taste.
posted by blucevalo at 9:36 AM on October 3, 2014
posted by blucevalo at 9:36 AM on October 3, 2014
ROLLIE FINGERS HAD THE MOST GLORIOUS BB FACIAL HAIR OF ALL TIME! (Winfield, Boggs and Mattingly come in next)
posted by symbioid at 9:40 AM on October 3, 2014
posted by symbioid at 9:40 AM on October 3, 2014
and what about pubes?
Everyone knows the Yankees have no genitalia and therefore no need for pubes.
posted by Gungho at 10:09 AM on October 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
Everyone knows the Yankees have no genitalia and therefore no need for pubes.
posted by Gungho at 10:09 AM on October 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
Shave those sideburns!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi_5lXIT5AY
posted by Gungho at 10:10 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi_5lXIT5AY
posted by Gungho at 10:10 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
Everyone knows the Yankees have no genitalia and therefore no need for pubes.
Except for A-Rod. He's a big dick.
posted by slogger at 10:27 AM on October 3, 2014
Except for A-Rod. He's a big dick.
posted by slogger at 10:27 AM on October 3, 2014
oh playoff beards, majestic play off beards, is there anything sexier?
posted by PinkMoose at 11:07 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by PinkMoose at 11:07 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
These aren't really playoff beards, seeing as how they wear them all season.
posted by dirigibleman at 1:16 PM on October 3, 2014
posted by dirigibleman at 1:16 PM on October 3, 2014
If you want my respect you have to grow a rally beard.
posted by srboisvert at 6:42 PM on October 3, 2014
posted by srboisvert at 6:42 PM on October 3, 2014
*trombone*
posted by SisterHavana at 12:06 AM on October 4, 2014
posted by SisterHavana at 12:06 AM on October 4, 2014
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posted by capricorn at 8:13 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]