January 31, 2002

6:52 PM

Todd Ginsberg has counted all of his sneezessince 2000, and he averages about two a day.
posted by panopticon (17 comments total)

What other bodily functions need to be counted?
posted by panopticon at 6:54 PM on January 31, 2002

My roommate and I did something similar to this during the month of May in 1998. I counted 30 and he had 31, but one of his was an assist, so we ended up equal.

This was just an average, however...we were going for a control number, not our personal bests. Or worsts, I guess.
posted by hellinskira at 7:05 PM on January 31, 2002

An assist? Can you, uh, explain that or something?

I have this "Stockton to Malone" visual in my mind, but I don't see how it works with a sneeze.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:16 PM on January 31, 2002

I'm not talking about sneezes.
posted by hellinskira at 7:26 PM on January 31, 2002

Best. Setup. Ever.
posted by Neale at 7:28 PM on January 31, 2002

In other news: Todd Ginsberg a Finalist for the Turner Prize...
posted by mrhappy at 7:33 PM on January 31, 2002

hellinskira, that was almost as good as the "no onion links on the front page" setup from a couple months ago.... you win today's #1 in the hood award.
posted by lotsofno at 7:43 PM on January 31, 2002

Another strong contender.
posted by Mapes at 7:49 PM on January 31, 2002

I figured everyone knew that May was National Masturbation Month...
posted by hellinskira at 7:53 PM on January 31, 2002

OK, I get it now. All right, everyone make fun of the Utahn for being naive.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:04 PM on January 31, 2002

Finally. A thread that includes the Utah Jazz and masturbation. It's about time.
posted by G_Ask at 9:21 PM on January 31, 2002

yes virginia, some people DO keep track of how much they do it...
posted by manero at 10:25 PM on January 31, 2002

That is the oddest and funniest website I've seen in a while. Thanks manero!
posted by jacobw at 10:32 PM on January 31, 2002

Vaguely on-topic: UtahJazz masturbation is a Googlewhack. Well, 'cept that UtahJazz isn't a word, but you can't have everything.
posted by youhas at 2:15 AM on February 1, 2002

I can't decide which thread is more irrelevant -- this one, or the Rosie O'Donnell one.

::::departs haughtily, nose aloft::::::
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:33 AM on February 1, 2002

If Rosie O'Donnell counted masturbative episodes (a new phrase, I like it) then we could merge the threads. Would that make you less bitter? :P
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:04 PM on February 1, 2002

Ewwwwww.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:08 PM on February 1, 2002