ohhno ima barfed onna shoes
October 17, 2014 7:05 AM   Subscribe

Drunk JCrew. Ever notice how drunk the models for J. Crew are? (Single link Tumblr)
posted by sweetkid (21 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is what happens when you dump a bunch of cheap Rosė on the market.
posted by The Whelk at 7:10 AM on October 17, 2014 [7 favorites]


dammit now I want to to down some cheap rose and just roon mi dayyy in eshpenshif closhe.

Also this is what Quinoa grows up to be.
posted by sweetkid at 7:15 AM on October 17, 2014 [12 favorites]


OK, this made me LOL. I actually did LOL. dj00 Guys!
posted by NoMich at 7:18 AM on October 17, 2014 [4 favorites]


Are the models the ones who are drunk? Or is it whoever is writing the captions?
posted by Thorzdad at 7:22 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is much better than I expected, and it is also (inexplicably?) the first time I have visited a tumblr site that didn't hang my browser.
posted by Literaryhero at 7:29 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


The re-contextualized pics are all ehh, I guess, maybe - but the captioning is the real star here, and it shines.

(...in her susbarsu ounback)
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:00 AM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


but the pics are what make the captions shine, I don't really get that comment.
posted by sweetkid at 8:16 AM on October 17, 2014 [7 favorites]


Man those are some ugly clothes. I am pretty much clueless when it comes to fashion, so can somebody tell me if I am way ahead or way behind in this case?
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:22 AM on October 17, 2014


Now I wonder if all this time the selling point of their clothes has been that you'll look good in them while you're wasted...
posted by parallax at 8:30 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


"my sisser is gon come pick me up iner subsaru ounback"

so on point. the Subaru Outback is to the '10s what the Jeep Wagoneer was to the '80s.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:31 AM on October 17, 2014


These are great. Just spot on.

Dr Dracator: Man those are some ugly clothes. I am pretty much clueless when it comes to fashion, so can somebody tell me if I am way ahead or way behind in this case?

I think they've just put them together into outfits in weird ways, probably to get you to notice each piece more. J Crew tends to make some pretty nice stuff. Take a look at Ms. i don like what's my HAIR. All individually fine (and pretty unremarkable) pieces. The colors all match pretty well but the combination of jacket and coat is pretty weird, and the jacket is too short for her shirt. (She's also wearing leggings as pants but I think I'm fighting a losing battle against that one.) But the outfit is arranged so that the jacket immediately stands out.

Same deal here. It's a terribly assembled outfit of perfectly fine pieces. But it's assembled for maximum contrast.
posted by capricorn at 8:46 AM on October 17, 2014 [6 favorites]


This does make so much sense. I never could get into the JCrew styling although I kind of do like their clothes sometimes.
posted by maggiemaggie at 9:03 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


This must be the J. Crew version of the standard fashion model's Recently Hit on the Head with a Shovel facial expression.
posted by Flexagon at 9:31 AM on October 17, 2014


Okay, these are highly amusing.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:32 AM on October 17, 2014


These are great but I feel like with the right group of friends and a gallon bottle of Gallo, we could rip through the entire catalog in about two hours. Why is this tumblr so short? Get busy you guys!

Also, it still doesn't beat that tumblr about hung-over owls.
posted by newdaddy at 9:38 AM on October 17, 2014


I don't know about drunk, but when I do a google image search for J Crew it looks like they've all pretty much lost their hairbrushes.
posted by drlith at 9:44 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


I can't tell you the last time I bought something from J. Crew.

It was a staple of mine for years, but the Men's department kept shrinking and shrinking, to the point where it's basically vanished. The little bit that's left is just... meh.
posted by schmod at 10:19 AM on October 17, 2014


I actually bought a really nice plaid flannel shirt from J. Crew last week.

Then I realized that it cost $130, and that I had one just like it at home in my wardrobe, and promptly returned it.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:37 AM on October 17, 2014


"...the Men's department kept shrinking and shrinking, to the point where it's basically vanished."

Really? All of the J Crew stores I've been to in the last few years have been just about 50/50 men's and women's.

I don't like much of their clothing nowadays. They do tend to get the fit and cut right on most things, but the construction never comes close to matching the price, and the bulk of their stuff feels to me to only be a very small step up up from H&M or Target. Just not worth it for what basically amounts to poorly constructed sweatshop stuff.

I like the tumblr, but only because it lets me imagine from now on that all J Crew models are drunk. Really, though, this style of text/captions (I guess it's the 'i can haz?' style? Was that the first?) is just far too overdone by now.
posted by still bill at 11:47 AM on October 17, 2014


Pairs well with Mallory Ortberg's "People Almost Playing Sports In Luxury Advertisements".
posted by Monochrome at 1:01 PM on October 17, 2014 [4 favorites]


Some of these are super on point, but it hasn't even gone on that long and some of them are already kind of reaching. It reminds me of that star trek & the city thing, or some of the other funny mashup twitters.

They need to not be afraid to just... make less posts, and make all the posts more funny. Maybe it's impossible to go viral these days doing that, but really. If you're going to have a one note joke, don't hammer on that note too much too quickly.
posted by emptythought at 1:01 PM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


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