You're Doing It Wrong: Peeling Oranges edition

October 22, 2014 12:02 PM

How to peel an orange.
posted by Room 641-A (84 comments total)

Um ok, and what do you do with those huge end cap bits?
posted by iotic at 12:04 PM on October 22, 2014 [6 favorites]

Erm, no. If you have to use a knife, you're doing it wronger than wrong.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:05 PM on October 22, 2014 [28 favorites]

(And, while we're at it, bananas peel perfectly fine from the stem end.)
posted by Sys Rq at 12:06 PM on October 22, 2014 [31 favorites]

Pull the navel.
Peel.
Profit.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:07 PM on October 22, 2014

It's a miracle of evolutionary engineering that you can enjoy one of the juiciest fruits around without getting at all messy. Oranges have such lovely little bite-sized watertight pieces for you to enjoy, and here you go slicing them open and making everything sticky.
posted by CaseyB at 12:07 PM on October 22, 2014 [33 favorites]

You're Doing It Wrong: Peeling Oranges edition

Yep. That's definitely the wrong way to do it.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:08 PM on October 22, 2014 [19 favorites]

The "pedantic food opening" genre is going to get decidedly more creepy when we run out of fruits and start peeling rabbits instead.
posted by belarius at 12:11 PM on October 22, 2014

yea, that's fine if you want to waste 1/3 of your orange and get juice all over the damn place.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:11 PM on October 22, 2014 [12 favorites]

That's not peeling, it's slicing. If you have a knife handy you might as well just cut it into wedges anyway. This way is rather wasteful.

These "You've been doing this wrong" Buzzfeed-ish things are should be titled "Here's an alternate way of doing something that looks clever in gif-form but might not actually work in most cases but sixteen of your friends will share it on Facebook anyway."
posted by bondcliff at 12:12 PM on October 22, 2014 [10 favorites]

No seriously I can't eat an orange without making a huge mess unless I eat it over the sink! It can't just be me!
posted by Room 641-A at 12:12 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

That's definitely the wrong way to do it.

Not if you want a cool-looking way to waste half of the orange, it isn't.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:12 PM on October 22, 2014

Unless your name is Arthur Fonzarelli, there's no cool way to waste half an orange.
posted by bondcliff at 12:13 PM on October 22, 2014 [4 favorites]

[vulgar joke about the grapefruit trick]
posted by p3on at 12:14 PM on October 22, 2014 [13 favorites]

Actually I quite like the banana one. Sometimes it is tricky to break it open at the stem end, in which case I now flip it and eat it chimp-style.
posted by iotic at 12:15 PM on October 22, 2014

You know, the eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage...
posted by SansPoint at 12:15 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

How to Waste 1/3 of an Orange!
posted by brand-gnu at 12:16 PM on October 22, 2014 [5 favorites]

belarius, that's how I always peel rabbits!
posted by holist at 12:16 PM on October 22, 2014

You know, the eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage...

Everybody's always trying to tell you their way of doing it is right and yours is wrong?
posted by aubilenon at 12:16 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

(horrible shrieking noises)
posted by boo_radley at 12:17 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

more like how to waste a bunch of your orange, eat the pulpy middle that's left behind, and be left needing to rinse your knife and cutting board.
posted by ChuckRamone at 12:18 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

I actually kind of like this one, but only for a very specific scenario: a parent sharing an orange with some small children. Small children more easily pick off the little wedges, while parent eats the ends or juices them for later use.

If you have fairly good fine motor control and finger strength and are eating an orange by yourself, then no, of course not, but for kids? Possibly as nice as getting one of those apple slicer doohickeys.
posted by Mizu at 12:18 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh for christ's sake when will these smug jackasses quit telling me I'm "doing things wrong". I've been eating oranges fine for years.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:19 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

I bite a bit off without tasting it. Then it is easy to peel.
posted by Cannon Fodder at 12:20 PM on October 22, 2014

If you like this, you'll love The Wunder Boner
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:22 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

I actually kind of like this one, but only for a very specific scenario: a parent sharing an orange with some small children.

Yeah, no. Peeling an orange like a normal person gives you neatly encapsulated segments that don't leak juice everywhere. This is gonna be a sticky mess.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:23 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

there's got to be a better way!
posted by The Whelk at 12:23 PM on October 22, 2014 [7 favorites]

I've been eating oranges fine for years.

Well, thank heaven the Internet came along and showed you the error of your ways!

and also how to pronounce 'gif', which nobody used to have a problem with
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:24 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yeah but Sys Rq, this ~looks cooler~ which, if you've ever asked for your sandwich to be cut diagonally and arranged like a butterfly, falls into the same realm of relatively easy but impressive to tiny new people and might have enough fun cache to make someone's day a little bit less horrible.
posted by Mizu at 12:27 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Pull the navel.
Peel.
Profit."

"The "pedantic food opening" genre is going to get decidedly more creepy when we run out of fruits and start peeling rabbits instead."


That reminds me. How to peel a squirrel.
posted by maryr at 12:29 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

Ridiculous.
You peel an orange using one of these little things.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:30 PM on October 22, 2014 [8 favorites]

I don't want to start at the wrong end of a banana, throw away half my orange, OR fold my t-shirts in two seconds. I want to keep doing everything the old wrong way. STOP HOUNDING ME.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 12:39 PM on October 22, 2014 [6 favorites]

and also how to pronounce 'gif', which nobody used to have a problem with

Every (right thinking) body had a problem with that.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:42 PM on October 22, 2014

Oh my god, it is just me.
posted by Room 641-A at 12:43 PM on October 22, 2014 [10 favorites]

Hopefully this helps turn the mainstream onto the previously-obscure and hard-to-peel fruit many of us have enjoyed in spite of notoriously difficulty, and reduce the number of quizzical expressions during the last act of "Trading Places."

Note that the author is otherwise a sports reporter, so.
posted by rhizome at 12:44 PM on October 22, 2014

(And, while we're at it, bananas peel perfectly fine from the stem end.)


I wish I could favorite this 10 times.
posted by rainy at 12:51 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

You people are the reason we're not advancing as a species what with your "No! The old ways are better!" and "Stop wasting things!" claptrap. I'll be over here eating my bananas from the butt end, slicing my oranges to unfurl like a tool roll full of delicious pith with little juice wheels left over for a post-snack beard wash, and evolving without you.

Harrumph.
posted by malthusan at 12:52 PM on October 22, 2014 [7 favorites]

The right way to peel an orange is to first eat all of the skin -- then the rest of it will seem sweeter than a dream.
posted by rainy at 12:55 PM on October 22, 2014 [13 favorites]

...I'll try to say something nice. I think this method would probably work pretty well for preparing citrus for a salad.

It won't though -- citrus for salad needs the membrany pieces between the wedges to be cut off, this leaves them on. I would love to see a less messy way than my standard method though: How to Section
posted by sparklemotion at 12:55 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was taught to jam two thumbs in the top and tear it in half like a phone book - doesn't everyone do that?
posted by backseatpilot at 12:56 PM on October 22, 2014 [4 favorites]

Isn't this just "how to segment an orange" for a fruit salad? It also works great with slight variations for pineapple, mango, and watermelon, all with varying amounts of waste depending on your blade, knife skills, and sharpness. How to peel an orange it ain't. In the 90's little plastic dental-pick-looking "orange peelers" were all the rage. It's so easy! Just score a line all the way around the orange and pull the peel apart! Nah, I just used it as a spare fingernail when my fingernails were too short to tear into the orange.
posted by aydeejones at 12:58 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hopefully this helps turn the mainstream onto the previously-obscure and hard-to-peel fruit many of us have enjoyed in spite of notoriously difficulty, and reduce the number of quizzical expressions during the last act of "Trading Places."

Up next: the right way to make a BLT.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:03 PM on October 22, 2014

Should'a read the thread. I've actually gone to the trouble of segmenting clementine / mardarin oranges and as you find with the canned ones, it's not really "segmenting" I suppose as you do leave the skin on lest you end up with nothing.
posted by aydeejones at 1:03 PM on October 22, 2014

...and evolving without you.

I'm pretty sure monkeys open bananas at the wrong end, which means doing it that way constitutes RETROGRADE EVOLUTION. So go right ahead and enjoy your de-evolved brain pan the size of a walnut.

Learning more than one way to eat a banana or fold a T-shirt takes up valuable mental real estate which I and the other Tomorrow People prefer to conserve, so that we may instead use it to invent hoverboards and implement cold fusion in probably no more than another twenty years.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 1:07 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

In rural Peru I met a guy who would peel an orange with a machete, lop a bit of the top off, then drink the juice by squeezing it. He did one for me and it was pretty fun. We were taking them from the ground by a tree so wasting part of the orange wasn't really an issue. You have to peel it first or you get the bitter rind taste when you try to drink the juice.
posted by straight at 1:12 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

One of my few skills is that I can peel nearly any navel orange in a single long strip of peel. I'm always surprisingly disappointed when I fail.

Also, I wrote a long narrative instruction set for my technique on Friendster. Remember Friendster?
posted by that's candlepin at 1:16 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't think I have ever, even once in my life, received a lifehacking tip off the internet that was in any way useful to me.

I'm not saying such a thing is not possible. There must certainly be useful tools or methods out there that I am simply unaware of.

But, as of yet, despite a seemingly significant portion of the internet trying very hard to provide such a tip to me, it has not happened.
posted by kyrademon at 1:17 PM on October 22, 2014

I don't think I have ever, even once in my life, received a lifehacking tip off the internet that was in any way useful to me.

I can't tell you how much I delight in the beer mummy. It's especially good if you unwrap it from the tomb while saying "ALMIGHTY PHARAOH LONG HAVE YOUR PEOPLE WAITED FOR THEIR UNDYING GOD TO RETURN."
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:23 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

and i bet you sheeple are still using QWERTY! if you're not using dvorak, you may as well be writing it by hand. sheeesh!
posted by rude.boy at 1:24 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

You know, the eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage...

It's immensely satisfying but you get sticky stuff all down your chest?
posted by stargell at 1:24 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Simply lop off the ends...

And then go sit in the corner of the circular room.
posted by IndigoJones at 1:26 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure monkeys open bananas at the wrong end....

Actually, as observed in the wild and in captivity, monkeys and apes peel from either end, bite down in the middle and then slurp out the banana, tear the entire banana into pieces, or eat the whole thing. Depends on the individual, the situation, and whatever is going on on their mind at the moment.

Their citrus strategy is probably equally varied. I know mine is. But if I'm juicing, I always roll first.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 1:30 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

I don't think I have ever, even once in my life, received a lifehacking tip off the internet that was in any way useful to me.

I got one from Metafilter that I use almost every day: when you're walking and you're coming towards someone, direct your eyes to which you're going around them. I have not had one single awkward left/right/left dance since I learned this.

One more that I got somewhere: when you drop a small part, do NOT try to catch it. Watch it down, until it stops.
posted by ftm at 1:31 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Up next: the right way to make a BLT.

I think you mean a B-T-L, you heathen.
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:32 PM on October 22, 2014 [5 favorites]

I don't think I have ever, even once in my life, received a lifehacking tip off the internet that was in any way useful to me.

I've seen one for removing t-shirts that was a revelation to me. I used to do it by pulling from the bottom and raising both hands up together, which is fine unless the shirt is tight, I am wet/sweaty or both, in which case I end up like someone who has lost a hockey fight. The life-hack way was to pull out on one sleeve from the armpit, bring that arm into the main part of the shirt and then lift the whole shirt over my head, still holding on to the armpit. I don't watch people remove t-shirts so this could be a really common way of doing it, but again for me it was a revelation. So much easier to change my kids' shirts that way as well.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:32 PM on October 22, 2014

I'm pretty sure monkeys open bananas at the wrong end...

Yes, this was one of the old-school viral facebook videos, with a pre-Upworthy title of something like, "Monkey teaches humans how to peel a banana."
posted by rhizome at 1:33 PM on October 22, 2014

The peeling garlic one also seems to work, but unless you are peeling a lot of garlic it is not worth the effort.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:33 PM on October 22, 2014

Actually, as observed in the wild and in captivity, monkeys and apes peel from either end, bite down in the middle and then slurp out the banana, tear the entire banana into pieces, or eat the whole thing.

How often do they eat the whole thing? Does that correspond to scarcity of food? That seems.. unpalatable, even if tastes differ.
posted by rainy at 1:34 PM on October 22, 2014

The internet taught me how to wrap earbuds without getting them tangled.
posted by straight at 1:37 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Rainy - I don't think anyone claims to know. Being the one who gets the thing is a big deal with my pets, so I can imagine a primate eating the WHOLE banana as an F-you to a fellow primate. But maybe the peels are full of banana-skin nutrients and the rest of us are, indeed, doing it wrong!

Google says Asians and Lance Armstrong do eat the peels.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 1:52 PM on October 22, 2014

That's what I was thinking about. I've heard about eating the fruit skins (of mangoes, bananas, apples, potatoes -- from the raw foods / whole foods crowd). I can hardly imagine eating banana peels to spite someone. I will surely come up with an easier way to spite someone..
posted by rainy at 1:55 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

This technique works best with mandarin oranges, but just for good measure I tried it out on a Valencia orange as well.

I suppose, with those oranges, a how-to guide is necessary, but peeling the superior California Naval is much easier -- just make a small slit somewhere, and open it up. And don't even bother trying to peel one of those Florida 'juice' oranges, that's hopeless.
posted by Rash at 2:02 PM on October 22, 2014

Google says Asians and Lance Armstrong do eat the peels.

And hippies smoked them.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:03 PM on October 22, 2014

I use one of these because I'm not some kind of ignorant peasant.
posted by nanojath at 2:36 PM on October 22, 2014

What's the grapefruit trick?
posted by kanewai at 2:42 PM on October 22, 2014

I open all of my fruit with a bench vise.

All of it!
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:58 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

"You're welcome."

*sneer*
posted by history_denier at 2:59 PM on October 22, 2014

Oh! My mum used to do this when I was a kid but she sliced the orange several times first and called the resulting strips sailboats, thereby continuing the travel theme I demanded of any food.
posted by steganographia at 3:03 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

I imagine it happens elsewhere as well, but in West Africa the oranges (which are typically green) tend to have thicker skins, and one popular way to consume them is to have the vendor shave the skin (they always have a razor available for this task - often a double-edged one though they never cut themselves with it like I would...ok, have) - not all of it, just enough that it's more flexible, not so much that the juice can leak out. Then they cut a hole in the top, and you suck/squeeze the juice out.

It is the best. your favorite orange peeling technique sucks
posted by solotoro at 3:09 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

The life-hack way was to pull out on one sleeve from the armpit, bring that arm into the main part of the shirt and then lift the whole shirt over my head, still holding on to the armpit.

My method: Pull the collar over your head. Left arm points at the ceiling, right hand grabs left shoulder of shirt. Whip right arm in an arc up and to the right, and the shirt collects over your right forearm. Sling the shirt at your laundry pile.

The lifehack I made good use of this past weekend was packing for a short trip by tightly rolling a pair of underwear and a pair of socks into a folded tshirt, with the open ends of the socks sticking out. Reverse the sock-ends over the bundle to make superdense laundry burritos that take up minimal luggage space.
posted by rifflesby at 3:24 PM on October 22, 2014

If you like this, you'll love The Wunder Boner

Gah! That was far more horrifying than I'd imagined! (Seriously, that went from funny and campy to straight up horror show in one unforgettable shot -- though perhaps I'd feel differently if I were used to de-boning fish).
posted by treepour at 3:35 PM on October 22, 2014

I was prepared to like the wonder boner....
posted by Lesser Shrew at 3:49 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Just imagine the sound it makes. shluuurrrrrrrrrrp
posted by rifflesby at 3:51 PM on October 22, 2014

A spoon. Works every time for those of us who bite our nails. No fancy implements or knives or cutting board needed, just standard cutlery.
posted by k8oglyph at 4:07 PM on October 22, 2014

You don't have teeth? What do you bite your nails with? (I am so tempted ask if you use the wonder boner.)
posted by Lesser Shrew at 4:40 PM on October 22, 2014

This method gives you the "string of pieces" effect in your orange without any waste. I haven't tried it, so I can't vouch for it. I'm... still eating my oranges WRONG.
posted by houseofdanie at 4:45 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh. Upon closer examination, it's kind of the same method, only you don't lop off as much orange-end. Here, have a mandarin orange candle.
posted by houseofdanie at 4:49 PM on October 22, 2014

You mean Maddox was actually right about this?
posted by Chuffy at 5:09 PM on October 22, 2014

One more that I got somewhere: when you drop a small part, do NOT try to catch it. Watch it down, until it stops.

I did this with my niece's baby and everyone got cross with me.
posted by um at 10:24 PM on October 22, 2014 [4 favorites]

It is not necessary to watch the small part drop. It will always end up under the center of the car.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:44 PM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Not if there's a drain nearby.

Nearby being within a 10-meter radius.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:53 AM on October 23, 2014

um, so does anyone have a gif or video of the normal way to peel an orange? I've always used a knife and it'd be great to just peel the damn things.
posted by harriet vane at 4:22 AM on October 23, 2014

Conventional methods of peeling oranges involve quite a bit of tearing of the peel, which releases aromatic oils found in the peel.

This is a feature, not a bug.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:24 AM on October 23, 2014 [2 favorites]

Okay, I grossly overestimated how many other people also had problems with oranges. After the first few comments I was mortified by this dumb post for about two seconds, but 80 (80!) comments later and I've spent the last day totally laughing at myself and believe it or not, I think that's a joyous thing.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:35 AM on October 23, 2014

I use the spoon method if I don't want to get orange pith etc. under my fingernails.

I guess if you REALLY don't want to get your hands dirty you can use a knife and fork. Would go well with your Snickers bar.
posted by howling fantods at 8:11 AM on October 23, 2014