Sounds like progress to me...

February 4, 2002 7:39 AM

Sounds like progress to me... The American Academy of Pediatrics released a report that children of same-sex parents do as well as opposite-sex parents, and despite some teasing, cope well. Seems that it's more important for two people to be in a loving relationship than what their sex is. I think it's a pretty big deal for a professional organization to produce this report. You?
posted by gramcracker (20 comments total)

Good for the AAP! You're right, it probably takes guts. But like the few pediatricians I know I suppose they love children and couldn't really care less about adults - much less politicians - as long as they take good care of the kids entrusted to them.

I've always thought children brought up in loveless(or sexless)environments were those you suffered, whatever the sexual inclination of the parents/guardians.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:57 AM on February 4, 2002

I'm not at all surprised by these findings, but what I find sad is Mr. Family Research Council Tim Dailey tries to skew the results (which disagree with his prejudices) by claiming that some of the research is done by "openly lesbian researchers" (God forbid! They're clearly only pushing their own agenda), despite the respected group from which this report is issued. It seems pretty logical to think that a stable, loving, involved-with-the-children couple make good parents, regardless of their gender. I wish people would just get over their bigotry already and channel their efforts into positive things. Decent people are decent people, period, and it's more important that a child grow up in an environment of love, acceptance and involvement than one that meets some narrow-minded idea of what a "family" is.
posted by biscotti at 8:06 AM on February 4, 2002

One of the things this doesn't seem to address is a same-sex role model for the child. As someone who was raised until 13 in a female-female household I found it very difficult to understand male dynamics in my teens. Having no male role model around made it very difficult to be "one of the guys". The only males I was around were homosexuals at the MCC, and this was not behavior (mannerisms, etc) that was benificial to emulate.

I shudder to think how much more clueless I would be had I not moved in with my father at 13.
posted by revbrian at 8:24 AM on February 4, 2002

unfortunately, the american academy of podiatry released a report that children with two left feet are still regarded as, despite magnetic soles, irrevocably clumsy :)
posted by kliuless at 8:45 AM on February 4, 2002

revbrian: By your argument, males raised by single/divorced mothers would have the same "problem." I have a lot of male friends who were raised by their mothers, and they didn't seem to have any difficulties with the lack of male role model.

I never understood the need for a same-sex role model. I mean, I certainly didn't learn the "dynamics" of teenage girls by watching my mother. I think the real problem is with people who feel it is better (and absolutely necessary) for boys to act in stereotypically male ways (or for girls to act like stereotypical females).
posted by sanitycheck at 8:52 AM on February 4, 2002

obviously Family Research Council's Tim Dailey feels the only valid research is that done by 'openly heterosexual researchers'.
posted by quonsar at 9:00 AM on February 4, 2002

revbrian: I was raised by a solo mom with nary a man in sight, yet there is no awkwardness around "the guys". Hell, there is much hitting and guyish activity to be found. I think one's actions in those situations may not be as dependent on your home life as you insinuate.
posted by owillis at 9:06 AM on February 4, 2002

[By your argument, males raised by single/divorced mothers would have the same "problem."

...not be as dependent on your home life as you insinuate.
]

First, it's not my argument, or insuniation it's my experience. Your results may differ. Second, all though that may be true to some degree. It's a lot more likely that a single mother will have some sort of male influence around (dates, etc) than a lesbian single mother would.


[...for boys to act in stereotypically male ways...]

I'm not talking about chest thumping here. I'm talking about the simple dynamics of general day-to-day life. You would be amazed at how much unspoken communication there is, and the only way I came to realize it is because I had to learn it alot later in life rather than pick it up gradually over time.
posted by revbrian at 9:10 AM on February 4, 2002

revbrian, I think that if you went oot and aboot and looked at the life of children in single-parent homes, you'd indeed find that they're getting shitty other-sex role-modelling.

Either the parent stays single, and doesn't have a lot of opposite-sex partners in the house; or the parent frequently has a different partner, soon to be booted out because s/he's worthless/useless/otherwise defective.

Very rarely does a single parent end up with a single, steady opposite-sex partner, because in most such cases the household is no longer a single-parent household.

Pretty much by definition, then, a single-parent household lacks a good, opposite-sex role model.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:22 AM on February 4, 2002

I had a positive male role model (hi dad), but I felt kind of awkward around guys in high school. I wasn't the sports type, couldn't talka about cars and stuff. People are different, and the way we react and behave isn't completely dependant on our parents. At least I hope not, cause my parents are really strange.
posted by Doug at 10:06 AM on February 4, 2002

As much as I like to be positive in britain peadiatricians have to leave their homes due to mobs of people not knowing the difference between those who take the hypocritic oath and peadophiles, now there is progress.
posted by johnnyboy at 10:43 AM on February 4, 2002

As someone who was raised until 13 in a female-female household I found it very difficult to understand male dynamics in my teens. Having no male role model around made it very difficult to be "one of the guys".

There may be something to this suggestion, but I suspect it's too complex an issue for much useful information to come from personal experience. It's too easy to find counter-examples, as many people here have done.

I'm another such counter-example; I grew up in a conservative Christian household, more traditional than traditional, but I have never found it easy to identify with men. To this day I feel a little uncomfortable in all-male groups.

-Mars
posted by Mars Saxman at 11:02 AM on February 4, 2002

One of my very good friends growing up had "two mommies." One daughter, two sons. All very happy, all very loved, all very comfortable, the guys okay with "man to man" stuff. They had a little teasing, but they had such a strong family behind them, it didn't matter and they held their own. The couple is still together, all kids are hetero and married, happy and with kids.

Why do people insist on caring about homosexual couples when there are so many damn screwed-up and abusive and horrible heterosexual couples out there raising kids? The percentage of well adjusted and stable gay family homes is much greater than hetero homes.
posted by aacheson at 3:46 PM on February 4, 2002

Here's another nice story from the rearranged furniture world of the social tradition blind.
posted by Real9 at 5:37 PM on February 4, 2002

"I don't know why you think it's so odd!" she screamed. "I know lots of people who do this." That stopped Rob in his tracks. "Who?"

nice! okay real9, now can you find an article on gay consensual incest? :)
posted by kliuless at 6:22 PM on February 4, 2002

here's one, reminds me of a howard stern episode i saw once...
posted by kliuless at 6:49 PM on February 4, 2002

South Park did a great episode emphasizing a similar point, Real9. It's a curious point--where do you draw the line between okay and not okay? It's a strong argument that I can't seem to find an answer to.
posted by gramcracker at 7:11 PM on February 4, 2002

Why do people insist on caring about homosexual couples when there are so many damn screwed-up and abusive and horrible heterosexual couples out there raising kids?

CNN's TalkBack Live went at this issue today. The Family Research Council rep. seemed utterly and entirely unable to grasp this very point. Even if we were to accept every FRC assertion at face value, that children raised in a same-sex family suffered moreso than other children, it doesn't change the issue. Unless you're willing to make the argument that a child in foster care has a better chance of emerging a well-adjusted adult as a child in a same-sex household, nothing should stand in the way of homosexual adoption.

Bleh. A pox on the FRC.

Real9: Great link.
posted by apostasy at 7:53 PM on February 4, 2002

Real9: sorry, what's the connection between gay parenting and consensual incest?
posted by creeky at 4:22 AM on February 5, 2002

gay consensual incest parenting.
posted by kliuless at 7:42 AM on February 5, 2002