Exactly What It Says On The Tin
November 16, 2014 8:33 PM   Subscribe

 
I now wonder if a gourmet restaurant could get away with serving Spam if they just called it pork pâté.

The answer is no, a gourmet restaurant could not get away with serving Spam if they just called it pork pâté.
posted by furtive at 8:40 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is what the internet is for.
posted by pompomtom at 8:42 PM on November 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


Some Parts Are Meat!

Also, they have a review of Treet, which is exactly as delicious as the misspelled name implies.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:50 PM on November 16, 2014


Kam. Worst thing ever.

I nearly starved on that camping trip. I mean, I actually could have starved.

Horrible stuff.
posted by aramaic at 8:52 PM on November 16, 2014


I was not expecting all the niche products like upscale Black Label Luncheon Loaf, and diet-conscious Armour Lite Treet Luncheon Loaf. (Not to be eaten for breakfast or supper.)
posted by mubba at 8:52 PM on November 16, 2014


Spam and Bacon Spam are both excellent to make scalloped potatoes and - well, Spam - with, and I didn't know that there was a Jalapeno Spam now. That screams out for a cheesy gooey tortilla pie kind of thing, I'm thinking.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:57 PM on November 16, 2014


My rule of thumb for judging meat products is: the more finely something is ground, the more unpleasant the cut of meat its made from. Which puts spam a notch higher than hotdogs and bologna.
posted by 445supermag at 9:05 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


The more reviews I read, the more I like this site.

-SPAM Black Pepper-

Smell: Remarkably like SPAM with pepper on it.

Texture: Firm, meaty, SPAM. Did not seem even as greasy as regular
SPAM.

Method of preparation: Sample from can, warmed on a tortilla.

Comments: How awesome is this? SPAM au poivre! Just like you broke out
the pepper grinder and went to town. Old fashioned pepper has not been
getting much attention of late, and it is a flavor that is unique and
uniquely good on meat.

posted by Curious Artificer at 9:07 PM on November 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


They're missing one... one supermarket chain's "let us collect data on you and we'll give you Personalized Coupons" program gave me a free can of SPAM CHORIZO a few months ago, even though I have never bought anything Spam-like there (Chorizo-like? Hell, yeah) It's still sitting in my pantry and I can imagine it giving me the evil eye every time I consume any other pork-based product. Creepy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:10 PM on November 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


My wife's family had a great recipe for fried spam with a little brown sugar sprinkled on it. I figured that if a little brown sugar was good, EVEN MORE would be even better!
...yeah. it turned out about as well as you'd expect.

We did eventually manage to chip some of the spam out from under the fused brown sugar glass. And after about six weeks of repeated cleaning, the pan was usable again.
posted by happyroach at 9:12 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


"And the taste is pure Assi!"
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:12 PM on November 16, 2014


(BTW, Spam Musubi justifies the existence of spam if nothing else does.)
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:15 PM on November 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Just putting this out there:
Kosher Spam: a Breef history
posted by Joe in Australia at 9:29 PM on November 16, 2014


Bowl cancer in a can.
posted by stbalbach at 9:34 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


My Maltese mother-in-law makes a delicious macaroni (traditional recipe) and one of her additions is tinned corned beef. Mixed in with all of the cream, ricotta, mozzarella, minced beef and tomatoes it's actually quite well-hidden which leads me to suspect that it's made its way into the recipe because it's a cheap way to extend the meat content of the dish. Even though she can now afford as much fresh meat as she likes, the tinned corned beef remains.
posted by prettypretty at 9:52 PM on November 16, 2014


Proper canned corned beef is its own thing, not pulverized and with plenty of real meaty texture, and it's great for pan-frying with potatoes and rosemary (add the corned beef at the end, it doesn't need as much cooking as potatoes) or mixed with a little pickle relish and mayo for sandwiches. It shouldn't be compared with this stuff.

Time was it commonly came from Argentina, but I stopped buying it when I couldn't find that kind anymore and they all started saying Product of Brazil on the can. I don't think you can separate the concept of Brazilian commodity beef exports from deforestation.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:04 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I am fascinated by the methodical photography (or is it scanning? even better!) of the six sides of the can plus a cross section of the meat. I mean - it's one thing to collect, but it's a glorious new level when you document every angle, plus the inside. This is obsession; this is love.
posted by gyusan at 10:41 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Does anyone have any idea what cuts of meat are in corned beef? Is it all muscle meat, or do they throw in organs and offal? I'd really like to know this.

By the way, the tins of corned beef I've seen in Texas are largely from Uruguay.. not much deforestation there.
posted by crapmatic at 10:46 PM on November 16, 2014


Teriyaki Spam. The page is completely earnest. Criminy, they even have a Monty Python reference!
posted by SPrintF at 11:45 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Oh, Albertson's? Not exactly what you'd expect from the tin.
posted by biddeford at 12:39 AM on November 17, 2014


Spam is pork shoulder and ham. That's it, apart from seasoning, binders and preservatives. It's not mystery meat or the pork equivalent of "pink slime."
posted by Slap*Happy at 3:27 AM on November 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


Missing from the list, Taylor Ham, aka Pork Roll, a regional delicacy only available in certain fine dining establishments in a prestigious northeast enclave.

Taylor Ham

Preferred presentation

A holiday favorite
posted by otto42 at 4:25 AM on November 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


After taking my family to see Spamalot, I bought a can of Spam and tried to serve it at breakfast instead of sausage. Nobody would eat more than one bite (okay, I ate maybe three). That stuff is so goddamn salty it makes country ham seem like a health food! I mean, I expect breakfast meats to be salty meats, but this stuff was more like meaty salt. And I LIKE salt.
posted by rikschell at 5:16 AM on November 17, 2014


Umpteen years ago, when I worked in an art studio, one of the front-office ladies had the bright idea that the studio have a big, pitch-in dinner and the artists would be responsible for making the desserts.

Of course, the art staff took the appropriately cynical path, and we concocted all manner of dubious treats. I brought cubes of Spam, topped with a maraschino cherry, and dipped in chocolate. It was oddly not-too-bad. Certainly not the most odious of creations that night, to be sure.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:34 AM on November 17, 2014


did someone put up the spam signal?
posted by spamandkimchi at 5:35 AM on November 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


I now wonder if a gourmet restaurant could get away with serving Spam if they just called it pork pâté.

The answer is no, a gourmet restaurant could not get away with serving Spam if they just called it pork pâté.


Not to be that guy, but there was a prank show on TV I saw a few years ago where they got 2 friends, one of which was a foodie and another which thought the foodie was a snob and wanted to play a prank on them. The friend of foodie insist they go to this great new gastronomique style restaurant, they go to restaurant and they are being served basically junk food, however, the waiter goes to great lengths to describe how delicious the food is they are about to eat:

"Pork Pate glace, from free range apple and acorn fed pigs, with a light soy and brown sugar glaze, blah blah blah."

In the back, cut to a chef pouring some soy and brown sugar on spam and then hitting it with a blow torch. They did the same thing with deep fried Twinkies, etc. To the best of my recollection 2 out of the 3 foodies bought it hook line and sinker and declared the food some of the best they've ever eaten, the third said it was just ok. To be fair the bit was more about how influenced one is by waiter hyper more than can you make junk food tolerable. I tried to find a clip but all I can find is that someone recently pulled a similar type deal using McDonald's food.

Also, I agree with the sentiment above, SPAM is gross outside of Musubi.
posted by ill3 at 7:00 AM on November 17, 2014


Beanie-Weenies. Chicken beaks and chicken claws.
posted by StephenDouglasKan at 12:15 PM on November 17, 2014


They should do a similar listing for the various types of Potted Meat Food Product.
posted by Pfardentrott at 2:05 PM on November 17, 2014


There's nothing like campfire-fried SPAM.
posted by angerbot at 4:08 PM on November 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


This can of Golden Honey Grail Spam enjoyed a place of honor on one of my bookcases for far longer than it should have, up until a few years ago when my then-fiance and I moved and I left behind the trappings of my foul bachelorette days. I still kind of regret never cracking that sucker open so I could say I knew what honeyed Spam tastes like; I guess some things are best left to the imagination.

I am pretty sure, though, that the fact that something as ridiculous as "Collector's Edition" Spam exists is the real proof that whatever god is out there loves us and wants us to be happy.
posted by DingoMutt at 5:20 PM on November 17, 2014


Whenever I've seen alt-Spams, the key difference I've noticed is that they almost all seem to contain "mechanically separated chicken parts" aka pink slime. Perhaps it's ironic that Spam Lite and Spam 25% Less Sodium both contain the dreaded slime of pink.

Original recipe Spam is about as wholesome as you could ever expect mass-market processed meat to be.
posted by snottydick at 10:27 AM on November 18, 2014


The collection is missing Spork, which I learned about from my boyfriend.
posted by tickingclock at 8:24 PM on November 18, 2014


« Older You wanna understand America, don't come here — go...   |   The Chipotlification of American Fast Food Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments