"This dish probably didn't need the onion rings."

November 18, 2014 6:34 PM

"This year, give thanks by artfully assembling huge piles of fast food into a feast that will both thrill and disturb your loved ones."
Buzzfeed invites you to their lovingly-styled The Most Epic Fast Food Thanksgiving Ever.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle (32 comments total)

The shopping, chopping scraping, and rearranging of ingredients (hiding?) make this not much easier than turkey and the rest of the traditional things. Probably not cheaper either when you count in the cost of Tums.
posted by Cranberry at 6:44 PM on November 18, 2014

What it tastes like: Horrible. This was a terrible idea.

Note to self: donate heartily to local food bank so that people don't have to do this.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:53 PM on November 18, 2014

The easiest option -- that Frankenstein gravy -- actually looks kind of promising, probably because it's mostly gravy.
posted by maudlin at 7:04 PM on November 18, 2014

What, do they not have access to Wendy's? -2 effort points, try harder
posted by NoraReed at 7:05 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

They lost me when they made the nuggets all soggy with mashed potatoes. Please don't do that.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:05 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mostly disgusting, but the White Castle slider stuffing sounds kind of good.

And the gravy thing sounds so epically gross that it might work.
posted by kanewai at 7:16 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Before I read the article, I was ready to fight them for the quote that got used for the title here, but yeah: that green bean thing probably doesn't need the onion rings.

I do though. Goddammit, I don't even know where the nearest place is that I can get onion rings this time of night.
posted by dorque at 7:19 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Rachel Sanders's tweet on her masterpiece of an article was enough to make me follow her on Twitter.
posted by Brak at 7:32 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Says "epic" in the title. Tells me in advance that it's likely not worth reading. Open up link. Title actually says, "totally epic". Because epic just isn't enough. Decide to read anyway. Suspicions confirmed.

Maybe if it was the "most awesomely totally epic meal evar! bro" it might have been saved.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:33 PM on November 18, 2014

I'd never noticed before, but Baja Blast is a really pretty color. Not a color of something I'd want to drink, but pretty all the same.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:37 PM on November 18, 2014

For whatever reason, it also made me want to go visit the Gallery of Regrettable Foods again.
posted by Brak at 7:38 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Totally off topic, but that trick with mousing over the images is frigging magic, man. (and when I Googled "photoslider", the first search result was this AskMe post, YAY!)

On topic, I would have no problem eating every last bit of this meal. I am salivating looking at this stuff.
posted by Literaryhero at 7:46 PM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

I love that the fried chicken assortment with all the different spices tastes good, but the varied potatoes and their spices apparently tastes not great together. (Though I really wonder if the mashed potatoes threw off the fried potato combo.)
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:37 PM on November 18, 2014

You can all speculate on the taste, the consistency and the presentation, but I will let you know for certain on November 28th. As I am having Thanksgiving alone with my 17 and 18 year old boys, like timing a meal, we will all head out in different directions to get the ingredients. Soon enough, Bob is your uncle. If you don't hear from me by 2pm on the 28th, send help.
posted by 724A at 8:49 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Brak's link led me to the Unbearable Sadness of Vegetables, which is like a Little Golden Book from Night Vale.

Bless this goddamned thread.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:52 PM on November 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

The pictures alone, man.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:56 PM on November 18, 2014

Even more revolting than I expected.

It's just two of us and the dogs this Thanksgiving. We're having pizza.
posted by mochapickle at 9:05 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

it might be a joke now, but you know someone in one of those fast food companies is prob reading that article and getting ideas.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 9:11 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

That cornucopia of fast food did the rounds on Twitter earlier and that was enough already to make me queasy.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:56 PM on November 18, 2014

God Bless America.

Except California
posted by mazola at 11:21 PM on November 18, 2014

You can always tell you're eating a great meal when everything is pretty much the same color. Turkey? Brownish. Sides? Brownish. Deserts? Brownish. Apart from the mountain dew it looks like hospital food.
posted by supercrayon at 11:24 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

In awe of the Pilgrim Sauce. Epic-est dish in there.
posted by telstar at 1:21 AM on November 19, 2014

Clif-Bar cookies. Unwrap a few favourites. Cut into cookie-size pieces and serve on a festive plate. Healthy too!
Bon Appetit ! Signed, Me.
posted by StephenDouglasKan at 1:48 AM on November 19, 2014

Hi, I'm British and I was wondering if I have come to the right place to be patronised about our cuisine?
posted by biffa at 3:58 AM on November 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

The dish called 'Stuffing' confuses me. Isn't stuffing supposed to be, well... stuffed inside of something else?
posted by Too-Ticky at 4:18 AM on November 19, 2014

Wait, so is the the Epic Meal Time crew, or just a knockoff? And in either case, isn't it just an exercise in nausea?
posted by kewb at 5:33 AM on November 19, 2014

Serious Eats just published their take on the same idea: A Fast Food Thanksgiving That's Actually Delicious
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:50 AM on November 19, 2014

I've eaten tons of that green bean casserole at family Thanksgivings and church potlucks-- really the only difference is that the cook got the ingredients out of cans instead of a drive through window.
posted by geegollygosh at 7:52 AM on November 19, 2014

Molecular gastronomy, eat your heart out. THIS is what post-modern cuisine looks like.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:17 AM on November 19, 2014

Mostly disgusting, but the White Castle slider stuffing sounds kind of good

In a real bird, it's actually really good.
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:40 AM on November 19, 2014

I've been doing some research on Thanksgiving food, and if there is one thing I definitely think we're missing from the holiday it is eel.
posted by maxsparber at 10:48 AM on November 19, 2014

How to have a delicious and easy fast food feast on Thanksgiving: order a double cheeseburger combo meal, eat it.
posted by glhaynes at 11:36 AM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]