The 15 Worst Owners in Sports

November 25, 2014 8:39 AM

Frackers, fuckers, racists and robbers – you don't need to be a bad person to own a pro franchise, but it certainly helps.
posted by josher71 (44 comments total)

you don't need to be a bad person to own a pro franchise

Don't you? A better (and shorter) article would be on which owners aren't fuckers and why, if such a thing is even possible.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:49 AM on November 25, 2014 [5 favorites]

As I was reading it, I kept on asking "where the hell is Dan Snyder?!" The wait was totally worth it.
posted by zombieflanders at 8:56 AM on November 25, 2014 [10 favorites]

Wang is a bad owner if you're an Isles fan but I don't think he's even in the top 5 of bad NHL owners.
posted by ghharr at 9:02 AM on November 25, 2014

That's an Ohio-heavy list.
posted by codacorolla at 9:05 AM on November 25, 2014

You are totally limiting your options just referencing big American sports and big American owners. No mention of the Russian Oligarchs or Middle eastern, terrorist linked monarchies who run English football? Not to mention the complete control of entire multi-billion dollar leagues / bet-fixing rings by Indian & Chinese syndicates. Cute.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory at 9:06 AM on November 25, 2014 [7 favorites]

Oh, Zombie, I had no doubt that as the webpage loaded for me Snyder would be revealed as the number uno. No doubt

Ghharr, I'm pretty sure even as a dead body, "Dollar" Bill Wirtz of the Blackhawks ownership must be on a list somewhere.

Depressing to see the Ricketts on there, as I'm now of the age that I can't and won't resign my Cubs fandom no matter how cynical I become. So they have me by the balls. I think I'll take these guys over the Zell-gutted Tribune Co. anyway.
posted by C.A.S. at 9:06 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Happy to see that Al Davis is no longer on that list...
posted by Chuffy at 9:07 AM on November 25, 2014

Good point. Soccer, whether the "we won't even bother to disguise it" of Sepp Blatter and Fifa, or the raw naked capitalism of limitless global dirty money in the Premiereship, makes blowhard NFL owners or tightfisted baseball titans seem like schoolboys.
posted by C.A.S. at 9:08 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

Even though he's dead, Art Modell should be on that list as asshole emeritus.
posted by slogger at 9:13 AM on November 25, 2014 [4 favorites]

I enjoyed this as much as I enjoy most of Lund's writing, but it still gets a demerit for giving such pride of place to trumped-up nonissues about Citi Field when there are so many better reasons why everyone ought to hate Fred and Jeff Wilpon. With all their continual cronyism and favoritism both upward, with the commissioner's office keeping them installed as owners despite financial misdeeds much worse than the deposed McCourts', and downward in the clubhouse constantly overruling the front office's decisions and yet still holding them accountable when the owner's spoiled child's personnel choices somehow don't result in a competitive team, and running a bottom-quartile payroll year after year because you've nearly bankrupted a huge-market team, and the gallery of vile stuff currently on display in the Castergine suit, and with all that material to choose from, still, somehow, half the verbiage is about the fact that they built a pitchers' park with a rotunda that honors a still-beloved part of their city's and their fans' baseball history? Maybe ask a fan next time — we cherish our Wilpon hate, our Wilpon hate is pure — instead of just flipping through the top national headlines.
posted by RogerB at 9:26 AM on November 25, 2014

That's an Ohio-heavy list.

Well, to be fair, we have a lot of asshole sports fans here in Ohio.
posted by slogger at 9:26 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

When Theodore Roosevelt headed the police commissioner's board in Manhattan, he had an ongoing battle trying to remove and jail one of the corruptest of police captains, Big Bill Devery, with Roosevelt winning some rounds and Devery bouncing back. After Roosevelt left, Devery went on to be police chief and totaled up what would be in today's money millions of dollars in graft. In 1903, he and a bookmaker buddy bought a Baltimore baseball team which they moved to New York. They would be later known as the Yankees.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 9:36 AM on November 25, 2014 [9 favorites]

I am the worl'd unluckiest sports fan, as I'm a Mets (owned by #14), Jets (owned by #12) Knicks and Rangers fan (owned by #3). Please kill me.
posted by KingEdRa at 9:40 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

I want to love pro sports, I really do. But it's a lot harder to now that I'm an adult and I'm aware of all the colossally greedy, evil horseshit surrounding the fun and games.

Now that I think about it, you could swap out "pro sports" for virtually anything ("movies," "fast food restaurants," "the music industry," "my phone"...).
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:43 AM on November 25, 2014 [4 favorites]

Steely-eyed Missile Man: "Don't you? A better (and shorter) article would be on which owners aren't fuckers and why, if such a thing is even possible."

Bob Kraft? His greatest failing seems to be dating a much younger woman since the death of his wife, but who knows, maybe he's only dating her because of her football acumen?
posted by Rock Steady at 9:44 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

I want to love pro sports, I really do. But it's a lot harder to now that I'm an adult and I'm aware of all the colossally greedy, evil horseshit surrounding the fun and games.

Given the behavior of the IOC and the NCAA, it's not like the money-making amateur sports are any better.
posted by Ber at 9:57 AM on November 25, 2014 [4 favorites]

The Card Cheat, your comment reminds me of this Onion article.
posted by exogenous at 10:15 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

A better (and shorter) article would be on which owners aren't fuckers and why, if such a thing is even possible.

The Green Bay Packers' ownership is alright... (for that matter, in EPL, same with Swansea.)
posted by Navelgazer at 10:20 AM on November 25, 2014 [4 favorites]

> Given the behavior of the IOC and the NCAA, it's not like the money-making amateur sports are any better.

If adulthood has taught me anything, it's that everything sucks.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:20 AM on November 25, 2014 [4 favorites]

They would be later known as the Yankees.

My internal soundtrack played the law & order DOONK DOONK noise at the end of this comment.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:49 AM on November 25, 2014 [13 favorites]

The Green Bay Packers' ownership is alright... (for that matter, in EPL, same with Swansea.)

Why do you think the NFL banned that form of ownership?

Here are the Packers: financially solvent, competitive, and deeply connected to the hundred thousand person city of Green Bay. It’s a beautiful story but it’s one that the N.F.L. and Commissioner Roger Goodell take great pains both to hide and make sure no other locality replicates. It’s actually written in the N.F.L. bylaws that no team can be a non-profit, community owned entity. The late N.F.L. commissioner Pete Rozelle had it written into the league’s constitution in 1960. Article V, Section 4—otherwise known as the Green Bay Rule—states that “charitable organizations and/or corporations not organized for profit and not now a member of the league may not hold membership in the National Football League.”
posted by leotrotsky at 10:56 AM on November 25, 2014 [5 favorites]

My internal soundtrack played the law & order DOONK DOONK noise at the end of this comment.

I got "And now you know... the rest of the story."
posted by dorque at 10:57 AM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]

emitting poor-shaming thinkbarf about people who don't work hard

*That* is some excellent writing right there. I like cut of this guys jib.
posted by kjs3 at 11:08 AM on November 25, 2014 [5 favorites]

The Maple Leafs ownership group deserves the spot waaaaay more than Wang. Leafs management is completely inept.

1. The Toronto Maple Leafs are valued at 1.2 billion dollars with consistent sellouts. The highest value of any franchise in the NHL (money shouldn't be a problem for signing and retaining talent)
2. You can field 4 teams worth of NHL players from their home market. You shouldn't have a hard time wooing talent to come to play back home.
3. The Toronto Maple Leafs have made the playoffs once in the past 10 years. 16 out of 30 teams qualify for the playoffs in the NHL.

It's easier to hate on one guy though than the fuck-up by committee process in Toronto.
posted by cmfletcher at 11:25 AM on November 25, 2014

Looks like someone molded a human shape out of an unguent containing racist e-mail forwards, Greek yogurt and hatred

Love it.
posted by gottabefunky at 11:35 AM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]

The Toronto Maple Leafs are valued at 1.2 billion dollars with consistent sellouts. The highest value of any franchise in the NHL

If the Leafs do this well financially without winning, then there's no incentive for management to shell out the big bucks for a winning team.

If Leaf fans stopped going to the games and stopped buying the merchandise, I bet management would start hiring top talent in a hurry.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 11:42 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

> If the Leafs do this well financially without winning, then there's no incentive for management to shell out the big bucks for a winning team.

Otherwise known as "Cubs Syndrome."
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:48 AM on November 25, 2014 [6 favorites]

If one were to liken the Marlins under Moria to a space program, that space program would be Mars 1.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:54 AM on November 25, 2014

If you're willing to go down several levels of "pro", all the way to the "Major Arena Soccer League", we've got a contender up here -- Dion Earl, owner of Seattle Impact FC, which just had 22 players (virtually the entire squad) walk out for a variety of discontents with Earl, starting with sexual harassment charges.

"We wish to continue playing in the MASL and grow the brand in the Northwest but cannot do so as long as Dion Earl is a part of this organization [...] we are constantly bombarded by family, friends and work colleagues wondering how we can play for such a poor role model".
posted by Fnarf at 12:11 PM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

However much joy I take from seeing the Bears whip the Packers, (on the rare occasions...) I can't hate a team whose existence is anathema to the NFL.
posted by wotsac at 12:47 PM on November 25, 2014

What about the 76ers ownership, for putting out basically a middle-rung NCAA Division II squad?
posted by Mister_A at 1:04 PM on November 25, 2014

What about the 76ers ownership, for putting out basically a middle-rung NCAA Division II squad?

How dare you impugn the brilliant strategery of the Tankadelphia 76ers! Why make a good faith effort to win games when a few extra lottery balls are available?
posted by tonycpsu at 1:06 PM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Jaguars may suck this year (and they most assuredly do suck), but at least I can take solace that owner Shahid Khan seems to be an admirable and likable guy, especially when compared to these jokers.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 1:10 PM on November 25, 2014

I'm disappointed that the Viking's lovable fraudsters the Wilfs aren't on the list.

Not only are they real scumbags as businessmen, as owners of the Vikings, they've managed to get ~$600 million for a new stadium, while turning around and upping every revenue stream imaginable to cover their end of the deal. Hell, they're even charging money to the construction company to store dirt on the construction site of the new stadium.
posted by Ickster at 1:55 PM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]

Roger Goodell Ceremonially Pardons Turkey Accused Of Domestic Violence [Onion]
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:25 PM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

> What about the 76ers ownership, for putting out basically a middle-rung NCAA Division II squad?

I really hope they go 0-82 and then get screwed in the lottery.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:29 PM on November 25, 2014

You could really skip the sports bits and just note that rich people tend to be fucking awful failures of humanity.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:31 PM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

Pope Guilty, I said that WAY up this thread and it got deleted... Interesting that they let you're comment stand.. But, I agree 100%. This isn't about sports, it's about money.
posted by HuronBob at 3:40 PM on November 25, 2014

The worst sports owner in North America is Stan Kroenke. He owns the Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche, St.Louis Rams (which he is trying to move to LA), Colorado Rapids, and has a controlling interest in Arsenal. Kroenke bought the Douglas Ranch in British Columbia, a huge spread that has a large lake on it. You can't buy a lake or lakeshore in B.C., that belongs to the People. So, after buying all the land around the lake, Kroenke flooded the shore and claimed that he owned the flooded area. Now people cannot get access to their old fishing grounds because they would trespass by taking a boat onto Kroenke's water. Kroenke then bought up neighboring ranches and now has half a million acres of land and controls thirty lakes. He has forbidden access to public land to hunters and other recreational users who are trying to use public roads across his property to get into public land surrounded by his property. In other words, he has created a private game preserve in the middle of BC by stealing public land. Here's a recent story.
posted by CCBC at 3:53 PM on November 25, 2014 [5 favorites]

Don't you? A better (and shorter) article would be on which owners aren't fuckers and why, if such a thing is even possible.

Jeffrey Lurie seems pretty okay. He produced Inside Job and really seems to believe in promoting green energy. About the only complaint I ever had as an Eagles fan was the silly Hoagiegate way back in the day. And also waiting too long to fire Andy but the timing was perfect to get Chip so I don't mind that as much anymore.

Dan Snyder is the worst, just the worst.
posted by Drinky Die at 5:01 PM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

I mean, tanking is rational in the NBA. What's the alternative? Try hard and lose in the first round of the playoffs and have no hope for improvement the year after?

But damn I wish there was a competitive NBA team in this city. Watching basketball used to be a thing I did with my Dad but the Sixers haven't been watchable in over a decade.
posted by Drinky Die at 5:11 PM on November 25, 2014

I mean, tanking is rational in the NBA. What's the alternative? Try hard and lose in the first round of the playoffs and have no hope for improvement the year after?

Well, there's tanking and there's tanking, and I'd argue that giving fans some semblance of enjoyment has some positive value, and the actual rewards associated with having the absolute worst record seem somewhat modest. I guess if there's another LeBron or Kobe out there you take a shot, but with the lottery ball formula being what it is, I'm not sure if tanking this much actually helps in the long run.
posted by tonycpsu at 5:38 PM on November 25, 2014

"where the hell is Dan Snyder?!"

zombieflanders, did you catch the link to "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder From A to Z (for Zorn), an encyclopedia of the owner's many failings."? I don't even like football, but found this list horrifying.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:13 PM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

That Dan Snyder article is amazing. The comments on it are good too; #11 in particular ought to resonate with MeFites: "Christ, what an asshole". The sheer pettiness of some of his schemes is amazing; bankrupt airline peanuts? Selling beer in the restrooms? What the hell?
posted by TedW at 12:23 PM on November 26, 2014 [2 favorites]