Mole Day: Deeper'N'Ever Pie, Deeper'N'Ever Squats
December 2, 2014 10:05 PM Subscribe
On the heels of President Obama’s recent purchase of the first three Redwall books, the Toast brings you the Redwall diet.
The first Redwall book was published in 1986. Written by Brian Jacques, who was born in Liverpool, England, in 1939, the series of novels tells the stories of the many animals that live in and around Redwall Abbey. Jacques died in February 2011 after writing 22 Redwall books.
The books were known in part for their descriptions of the food the animals eat (strawberry summer fizz, shrimp’n’hotroot soup, and endless wheels of cheese and freshly baked loaves of bread). A Redwall cookbook was released in 2005. For those of you planning a Redwall Christmas feast, Flavorwire has you covered. Here’s a Redwall recipe site.
Obligatory XKCD.
The first Redwall book was published in 1986. Written by Brian Jacques, who was born in Liverpool, England, in 1939, the series of novels tells the stories of the many animals that live in and around Redwall Abbey. Jacques died in February 2011 after writing 22 Redwall books.
The books were known in part for their descriptions of the food the animals eat (strawberry summer fizz, shrimp’n’hotroot soup, and endless wheels of cheese and freshly baked loaves of bread). A Redwall cookbook was released in 2005. For those of you planning a Redwall Christmas feast, Flavorwire has you covered. Here’s a Redwall recipe site.
Obligatory XKCD.
also Toast: A Very Important Question About Redwall
A follow-up question to yesterday’s post about alternate worlds with sentient animals: is the Redwall universe coterminous with our own? That is to say, do humans exist somewhere near Mossflower County? Are the scattered animal strongholds of Salamandastron and Redwall Abbey more like the Shire in Middle-Earth, which is populated exclusively by non-humans but perfectly aware of the existence of humans, or are they more like The Wind in the Willows, where humans have been entirely replaced by anthropomorphic animals?GRR Martin's Redwall
There was tender freshwater shrimp garnished with cream and rose leaves, devilled barley pearls in acorn puree, apple and carrot chews, marinated cabbage stalks steeped in creamed white turnip with nutmeg. And while the water-voles and the church-mice were feasting, the Lord of the Pine-Martens sat on his carved oaken throne, watching greedily. He would watch them burn. He would take their women and harvest their screams. He would set their feet to dancing and twisting from the treetops ’til they twitched no more against a silent sky, and he would sleep soundly tonight.posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:16 PM on December 2, 2014 [7 favorites]
Oh god, this also spawned an amazing Twitter thread with some kind of Brian Jacques superfan who's apparently complained about Ortberg's previous Redwall stuff too. It's bizarrely fascinating.
posted by kmz at 11:01 PM on December 2, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by kmz at 11:01 PM on December 2, 2014 [7 favorites]
This article claims you can eat pike from the abbey pond. The Gloomer showed us eating pike ends poorly.
posted by squinty at 11:18 PM on December 2, 2014
posted by squinty at 11:18 PM on December 2, 2014
A book series about anthropomorphic animals you say? As a furry I am ashamed that I have never heard of this. I will have to further my education.
I see there are audiobooks available, some abridged and read by the author, others with a full voice cast and narrated by the author. Are the audiobooks any good? (Stephen Fry has been reading the Harry Potter books to me over the past few weeks, and it's been like having a favorite uncle spin me a fabulous yarn. I would like more of that, please.)
posted by hippybear at 1:27 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
I see there are audiobooks available, some abridged and read by the author, others with a full voice cast and narrated by the author. Are the audiobooks any good? (Stephen Fry has been reading the Harry Potter books to me over the past few weeks, and it's been like having a favorite uncle spin me a fabulous yarn. I would like more of that, please.)
posted by hippybear at 1:27 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'd just like to note that the second link is one of six posts Mallory Ortberg made in a 24hour period. The others include one of her patented art history posts ("Doctors performing surgery for the first time in Western art history") a Dune/Marx mashup and "Signs you may be at risk for Space Madness."
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:19 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:19 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
oi approve o this burr aye
posted by threeants at 3:28 AM on December 3, 2014 [21 favorites]
posted by threeants at 3:28 AM on December 3, 2014 [21 favorites]
is the Redwall series worth reading for the first time if you're grown up?
Yes, if you like relentlessly vivid descriptions of both violent savagery and pleasant luncheons. The talking animals are just a bonus - it allows you to get into endless debates about race and class essentialism in Fantasy fiction with other nerds. I read the heck out of 'em in my late 20's.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:48 AM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
Yes, if you like relentlessly vivid descriptions of both violent savagery and pleasant luncheons. The talking animals are just a bonus - it allows you to get into endless debates about race and class essentialism in Fantasy fiction with other nerds. I read the heck out of 'em in my late 20's.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:48 AM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
The Redwall series is not really worth reading--many of the later books are just the same plotlines rehashed with different characters. However, many of the individual books (especially the first few) are quite worthwhile, even as an adult.
posted by Dr.Enormous at 6:23 AM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Dr.Enormous at 6:23 AM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
I enjoyed the first two, where you could pretend that the fact that both books had the SAME EXACT PLOT was purposeful.
After about the fourth, I got suspicious, and tired of ethnic cleansing of animals.
posted by ChuraChura at 6:32 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
After about the fourth, I got suspicious, and tired of ethnic cleansing of animals.
posted by ChuraChura at 6:32 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making readers' mouths water over British food.
I'm looking at you, Rowling, Jacques, and Dahl.
posted by duffell at 7:00 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'm looking at you, Rowling, Jacques, and Dahl.
posted by duffell at 7:00 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
I haven't reread the books since childhood -- I think the last I read was Pearls of Lutra and I skimmed Marlfox(?) -- but here are my favorites. I'm curious how others compare whether they've read them recently or years ago.
Mossflower
Redwall
Mattimeo
The Bellmaker
Salamandastrom
The Outcast of Redwall
posted by michaelh at 7:09 AM on December 3, 2014
Mossflower
Redwall
Mattimeo
The Bellmaker
Salamandastrom
The Outcast of Redwall
posted by michaelh at 7:09 AM on December 3, 2014
I've been thinking about a re-read in publishing order, probably up through Legend of Luke, which I'm pretty sure is the last one I read. I was absolutely obsessed with these books for years after being introduced to them by my 4th grade teacher, who read Redwall out loud to my class. My friends and I spent a lot of time pretending to be hares of the Long Patrol at recess. I don't expect the books to totally hold up but I'm hoping to recapture a little bit of that child excitement.
posted by skycrashesdown at 7:15 AM on December 3, 2014
posted by skycrashesdown at 7:15 AM on December 3, 2014
Is this where I can complain that I was super obsessed with Mossflower and eventually the other books as a nerdy isolated pre-teen. Just a few years later Harry Potter hit it big and made pointless fantasy books cool, as soon as I grew out of them in an attempt to be less isolated. I will never stop being bitter about that.
But yeah Mossflower was the best book IMHO.
posted by bleep at 7:19 AM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
But yeah Mossflower was the best book IMHO.
posted by bleep at 7:19 AM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
I don't know, I read the first one to my kid, who likes Lord of the Rings and all, and he was "eh." I was also "eh" because of the irritatingly sexist mice and the whole faux-medieval setup. Also the damn riddles, oh my god.
The landscapes are nice. The food obsession is one of those English kid's-lit tropes I've kind of gotten tired of.
If you like talking rodents, then Watership Down is far superior.
posted by emjaybee at 7:21 AM on December 3, 2014
The landscapes are nice. The food obsession is one of those English kid's-lit tropes I've kind of gotten tired of.
If you like talking rodents, then Watership Down is far superior.
posted by emjaybee at 7:21 AM on December 3, 2014
The food obsession is one of those English kid's-lit tropes
That settles it: GRRM is YA.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 7:25 AM on December 3, 2014
That settles it: GRRM is YA.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 7:25 AM on December 3, 2014
(I was at the zoo, complaining to a friend about people calling chimpanzees monkeys, and a disgruntled employee walked up behind me. "You think that's bad? I have to spend all day listening to people call rabbits RODENTS. And they're not - they're lagomorphs!!!)
posted by ChuraChura at 8:35 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 8:35 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
Whenever a discussion of Redwall comes up, I have to turn back to this excellent piece from Something Awful a few years back: From the Desk of Brian Jacques.
Because when you get down to it, there's some weird sorta racist stuff in those books.
posted by themadthinker at 8:53 AM on December 3, 2014 [6 favorites]
Because when you get down to it, there's some weird sorta racist stuff in those books.
posted by themadthinker at 8:53 AM on December 3, 2014 [6 favorites]
(I was at the zoo, complaining to a friend about people calling chimpanzees monkeys, and a disgruntled employee walked up behind me. "You think that's bad? I have to spend all day listening to people call rabbits RODENTS. And they're not - they're lagomorphs!!!)
Pssh, one is clearly more dangerous than the other. Calling a non-monkey primate a monkey is liable to get your arms ripped off by a Librarian; I don't have anything to fear from mere rabbits...
Oh... oh no... I didn't mean what I said! Aieeeeeeeeeee
posted by kmz at 9:24 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
Pssh, one is clearly more dangerous than the other. Calling a non-monkey primate a monkey is liable to get your arms ripped off by a Librarian; I don't have anything to fear from mere rabbits...
Oh... oh no... I didn't mean what I said! Aieeeeeeeeeee
posted by kmz at 9:24 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
Obama should have done a little trolling and bought 10 copies each of the Quran, the Communist Manifesto, and Mein Kampf.
posted by Sangermaine at 9:31 AM on December 3, 2014
posted by Sangermaine at 9:31 AM on December 3, 2014
President Obama has tastes very dissimilar to mine and is therefore a bad person and a bad president.
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:52 PM on December 3, 2014
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:52 PM on December 3, 2014
Thank you for poisoning my morning, themadthinker.
I suspect that the Something Awful post reflects its authors better than it does Brian Jaques. They look dead ugly.
posted by Autumn Leaf at 4:32 PM on December 3, 2014
I suspect that the Something Awful post reflects its authors better than it does Brian Jaques. They look dead ugly.
posted by Autumn Leaf at 4:32 PM on December 3, 2014
The last one I read was Pearls of Lutra, which wasn't that great but I am very attached to the signed copy I acquired at a book talk. My Redwall fandom was waning a bit by then (age 12-ish), but I will always remember how ridiculously charming and kind Jaques was at that event. I'll third Mossflower as probably the best of the bunch, but also want to put in a plug for Martin the Warrior, which spent a lot of time not just as my favorite Redwall book but my favorite book, period, as a kid. Both benefit from not quite fitting the (rather repetitive) mold of the rest of the series, IMO.
posted by naoko at 1:19 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by naoko at 1:19 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by skycrashesdown at 10:08 PM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]