We Call It N'awlins
December 16, 2014 7:28 PM Subscribe
Totally had the same thought process as the commenter who didn't notice the byline and thought "this is so Nightvale-ish." Yup.
posted by Wretch729 at 7:37 PM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Wretch729 at 7:37 PM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
I read this as if it were a Flight of The Conchords song.
posted by melissam at 7:44 PM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by melissam at 7:44 PM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm cool cause I hate New York/I'm cool cause I'm from New York
I'm not cool because I'm neither from New York nor do I hate New York
posted by bleep at 7:49 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm not cool because I'm neither from New York nor do I hate New York
posted by bleep at 7:49 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
I remember when I went to the Big Easy. We got lost in Yonkers, who was unwell at the time.
posted by boo_radley at 7:50 PM on December 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 7:50 PM on December 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
Just awesome. It's the people who werk at Great Jones Cafe that perpetuate these myths. God bless 'em!
posted by cleroy at 8:34 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by cleroy at 8:34 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Fievel
posted by gwint at 9:08 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by gwint at 9:08 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Wow, this was painfully unfunny.
posted by shivohum at 9:13 PM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by shivohum at 9:13 PM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
I started laughing at the part about the celebrities and fire and giggled through the rest.
Oh, Nawlins, I miss you!
posted by mochapickle at 9:16 PM on December 16, 2014
Oh, Nawlins, I miss you!
posted by mochapickle at 9:16 PM on December 16, 2014
Reading it I assumed the author was really high on something when they wrote it.
The celebrities on fire thing was funny. I was born and raised in NYC and then moved to other parts of the US. It's true that compared to other towns people tend to ignore celebs more here. Not sure why. Maybe it's a cynicism thing. Even when I went to L.A. which presumably has more celebs than NYC, the people walking around went INSANE at a mall where a pop star was seen when I was there. Me and my friend just walked by and ignored her the same as we did when we saw celebs in NY.
posted by rancher at 9:47 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
The celebrities on fire thing was funny. I was born and raised in NYC and then moved to other parts of the US. It's true that compared to other towns people tend to ignore celebs more here. Not sure why. Maybe it's a cynicism thing. Even when I went to L.A. which presumably has more celebs than NYC, the people walking around went INSANE at a mall where a pop star was seen when I was there. Me and my friend just walked by and ignored her the same as we did when we saw celebs in NY.
posted by rancher at 9:47 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
See, it's easy.
posted by unknowncommand at 10:46 PM on December 16, 2014
posted by unknowncommand at 10:46 PM on December 16, 2014
Good stuff! Reminded me of Barthleme's "The Balloon".
posted by evil otto at 1:11 AM on December 17, 2014
posted by evil otto at 1:11 AM on December 17, 2014
It also rang true because the poem completely ignored the existence of Queens.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:23 AM on December 17, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by louche mustachio at 1:23 AM on December 17, 2014 [6 favorites]
If I can fake it there, I'll fake it anywhere.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:42 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:42 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
I cackled like an idiot at my SO reading this aloud to me last night.
posted by Skorgu at 5:00 AM on December 17, 2014
posted by Skorgu at 5:00 AM on December 17, 2014
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
And then to not sleep again, unable to rest, endlessly wandering, A number one!
posted by moonmilk at 6:45 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
And then to not sleep again, unable to rest, endlessly wandering, A number one!
posted by moonmilk at 6:45 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
Wrong. It was the wizards that ruined everything.
posted by rikschell at 6:54 AM on December 17, 2014
posted by rikschell at 6:54 AM on December 17, 2014
New York would be so improved if you had to have your mouth removed to live here.
posted by millipede at 7:16 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by millipede at 7:16 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
elbows. New York would be improved if no one had elbows.
posted by zutalors! at 7:49 AM on December 17, 2014
posted by zutalors! at 7:49 AM on December 17, 2014
I liked this, but I'm confused about the N'awlins quip. Can someone clue me in?
posted by monospace at 8:41 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by monospace at 8:41 AM on December 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
Real New Yorkers don't exist and have no corporal bodies, just floating in the realm of potential things.
posted by The Whelk at 8:50 AM on December 17, 2014
posted by The Whelk at 8:50 AM on December 17, 2014
It also rang true because the poem completely ignored the existence of Queens.
That poem completely ignored the existence of poetry. Just because you put line breaks in your monologue or flash fiction or whatever it is, doesn't make it a poem. I love Night Vale, but that was awful.
posted by GrapeApiary at 11:11 AM on December 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
That poem completely ignored the existence of poetry. Just because you put line breaks in your monologue or flash fiction or whatever it is, doesn't make it a poem. I love Night Vale, but that was awful.
posted by GrapeApiary at 11:11 AM on December 17, 2014 [2 favorites]
"I liked this, but I'm confused about the N'awlins quip. Can someone clue me in?"
Shrooms.
posted by rancher at 7:00 PM on December 17, 2014
Shrooms.
posted by rancher at 7:00 PM on December 17, 2014
"I liked this, but I'm confused about the N'awlins quip. Can someone clue me in?"
Possibly KernalM's grandmother, like mine was from New Orleans and filled her childhood with tales of an other-worldly perfection that resides only at the tail end of the mighty Mississip. It's a place where (among other things) only the true and original residents know each other by using the correct pronunciation of the city's holy name. Maybe the essay reminded The Colonel of a voice from the past and crazy holiday rants that taste like pecan tassies for the mind.
posted by cleroy at 9:26 PM on December 17, 2014
I liked this, but I'm confused about the N'awlins quip. Can someone clue me in?
"We don't call it [this well-known nickname], we call it [the nickname-of-sorts of another city entirely] [that is the joke]."
I liked this too, and I was wayyy not into Night Vale. I think the medium matters.
posted by psoas at 9:45 AM on December 18, 2014
"We don't call it [this well-known nickname], we call it [the nickname-of-sorts of another city entirely] [that is the joke]."
I liked this too, and I was wayyy not into Night Vale. I think the medium matters.
posted by psoas at 9:45 AM on December 18, 2014
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posted by JDHarper at 7:33 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]