February 6, 2002

2:37 PM

Hate mobile phones?Man... this site both makes me laugh, and makes me furious in anger.. because it's so damn hilarious, but I imagine if this happened to me I'd be horribly upset and angry... I hate the misuse of mobile phones, but I do USE one...
posted by twiggy (33 comments total)

Old, but still funny.
posted by labotsirc at 2:54 PM on February 6, 2002

Phonebashing and suv's were part of an interesting rambling thread from a while ago.
I have sometimes considered--in my macho man fantasies--what I would do if they stole my phone, would I chase them? the vision of me trying to chase down and tackle a lifesize foam cell phone is enough to leave me on the floor dying of laughter
posted by ajayb at 2:56 PM on February 6, 2002

Well at least they make worms happy.
posted by homunculus at 3:07 PM on February 6, 2002

Hmm. Destruction of property is obviously unacceptable. However, cell phone users are often quite rude--usually without knowing it, sometimes on purpose--and there is something mysteriously satisfying about watching these clips.

Maybe it is because cell phones are (for most people) ultimately a luxury or convenience item, but they have come to take on illusionary significance to us, so that when they get yanked away the owner feels like he's lost his lifeline. Like he's naked and alone in the world all of a sudden. Look at the confusion on those people's faces, followed shortly after by the anger. Even though cell phones are totally ubiquitous now, and having one is no real sign of affluence, the sense of class division isn't totally gone, and anyone who doesn't have one is likely to be amused when the perceived playing fields are suddenly leveled.

The unexpected loss of power of other people is pretty much the basis for every joke ever told. This is a roundabout way of rationalizing why I almost choked on my apple juice when I saw that stuff.
posted by Hildago at 3:09 PM on February 6, 2002

I think that the there may be a sense of class distinction still left in having a cell phone among those who are older. My dad won't touch a cell phone(he grew up in a place where even having a landline was a privilege) but my uncle loves to show off to everyone that he is "hip" and has a cell phone.
That distinction is nearly completely gone among younger folks, though, most of whom seem to see the phone as just another tool.
posted by ajayb at 3:17 PM on February 6, 2002

All the people concerned are real members of the public and no one was refunded for the loss of their mobile telephone

Come on, these look completely staged. Its practically a wacky Benny Hill episode, minus the girls.
posted by skallas at 3:19 PM on February 6, 2002

Indeed, skallas, some of the acting on the part of the "victims" is quite bad. I also like the neat establishing shot on some of them that shows the "victim" nicely framed, talking on a phone.
posted by argybarg at 3:24 PM on February 6, 2002

From the site:

Virgin Records, the record label behind Solid Gold Chart Busters, have launched a site. Very corporate, all bells and whistles. They have not recognised our existence.

Well, except for the fact that they own phonebashing.com.
posted by turaho at 3:27 PM on February 6, 2002

ive seen about 9 near wrecks and 2 full on wrecks from people yakking on their cell phones.

if you cant avoid being on the phone during the time it takes you to drive to work, and from work, you are pathetic.

life functioned perfectly normal without the %&$^# things.
posted by Satapher at 3:47 PM on February 6, 2002

Well, if I was dressed up in one of those mobile phone suits, I'd be glad to have the guy in this clip on my team.

"Run! Keep Running!"

The man is clearly a strategic genius.
posted by MUD at 3:50 PM on February 6, 2002

this is funny... but alas I as well have a cell phone, but always practice good etiquette... my dad on the other hand has no regard for others as I recall the last time seeing him use a cell phone during the previews at a movie... several times I have wanted to grab the damn thing and smash it... I don't understand what his deal is.
posted by physics at 3:56 PM on February 6, 2002

what is a "cell" phone? what if you are not in jail do you not need one?
posted by Postroad at 4:20 PM on February 6, 2002

if you cant avoid being on the phone during the time it takes you to drive to work, and from work, you are pathetic.

Aww, come on. What a blanket statement, not considering people's circumstances, commutes, family needs, etc. The commute is the time that is best to talk, when I actually have some privacy. Granted, there are a lot of people who have problems multi-tasking, and they usually find this out the hard way. Use a friggin' headset, and it becomes a non-issue, really. NY state mandates it when driving now, and I can hardly say I blame them.

Hey, I am all for phone manners. I never leave the ringer on when I am even inside a building or train or anything, I can not stand how rude some people can be on their phones. What are you going to do? Lead by example, that's about all. If you just practice some courtesy to the people around you, I don't see what the big deal is. I have been in Border's though, trying to read, in the reading section with lots of quiet people, with some old ninny on a phone, yelling at god knows who, and running up and down the aisles calling for her children, whom she lost because she was on the phone. It's just like with anything else. Practice some damn manners, and it is not unlike anything else.
posted by adampsyche at 4:30 PM on February 6, 2002

I'm pretty sure they work for nokia :)
posted by elpapacito at 4:56 PM on February 6, 2002

blanket statements are what make the world go round. ^_^
posted by Satapher at 6:03 PM on February 6, 2002

what is a "cell" phone?

"Cell" is short for "cellular," which is in term derived from the biological term "cell."
posted by kindall at 6:10 PM on February 6, 2002

Musical phone alerts are as annoying as they are tacky. It would be nice if handsfree devices were required by law everywhere, not just in cars (as is the case in the Empire State): that would reduce public displays of audible phone conversation.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:32 PM on February 6, 2002

Musical phone alerts are as annoying as they are tacky. It would be nice if handsfree devices were required by law everywhere, not just in cars (as is the case in the Empire State): that would reduce public displays of audible phone conversation.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:33 PM on February 6, 2002

One of the few arguments for musical phones:

My dad is a doctor and uses his phone all the time for work. He is deaf in one ear, thus he has a hard time localizing sounds. Used to be, when a phone would ring anywhere in the room he'd dive for his pocket and 3/4 of the time it was someone else's phone.

Now he's got a new Nokia phone that plays an annoying song when it rings--but HIS annoying song, so he knows if the phone ringing is his most of the time now.
posted by dr_emory at 6:57 PM on February 6, 2002

Now, I do have the Star Wars Cantina theme, which is pretty cool, but I must say that I only use it when I am at home. When I am out, I slip the phone in my pocket, put it on vibrate, and wait patiently to be called, anxious for the pulsating....

*reaches for a kleenex*
posted by adampsyche at 7:03 PM on February 6, 2002

All I know is when I am by myself at night, especially driving late (press checks can happen at 2pm or 2am) I love that cell phone. I guess men probably don't worry about security as much, but I keep it with me and I feel safer. So as wretched as some people may find them, cell phones have some good uses.

What really throws me are people who have hands free and walk around talking into the little microphone and listening via the earpiece. I can never tell if it's a well-dressed schizophrenic sitting next to me, or someone with a cell phone.
posted by Salmonberry at 7:09 PM on February 6, 2002

Musical phone alerts are as annoying as they are tacky.

I propose that cell phone manufacturers remove the ringer from all phones and replace them with nipple clamps. When the cell phone user gets a call, an electric impulse is sent "reminding" the person that they have an incoming call. Granted its a little Pavlovian but it would force one to reasses who they give their number out to as well as stop the yammering they seem to enjoy.

Patent Pending.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:16 PM on February 6, 2002

"Cell" is short for "cellular," which is in term derived from the biological term "cell."

Best deadpan response of the day goes to Kindall.
posted by Hildago at 7:49 PM on February 6, 2002

I'm sorry but if you break my phone I'm gonna break something of yours; preferably an appendage. :)

I use a cell phone and I think I have a good sense of cell-etiquette. Ring once, ringing on level 2 (of 5), and the shortest ring available to me. When in silent mode, all it does is vibrate. Plus, I always turn it off when going anywhere like the movies, theater, swingers parties. OK, scratch that last one... I've never been.
posted by crankydoodle at 8:15 PM on February 6, 2002

So when do we get to the see version where they show clips of SUV drivers getting carjacked? I'm sure we would all love the look on someone's face when their annoying car is taken from them. Oh, the hilarity!
posted by Poagao at 8:31 PM on February 6, 2002

Actualy, the biological term 'cell' is derived from the same word as in 'jail cell' An early zologiest looking at a dead plant in a microscope saw lots of little empty compartments and called them 'cells'
posted by delmoi at 9:31 PM on February 6, 2002

I propose that cell phone manufacturers remove the ringer from all phones and replace them with nipple clamps ...Right, then we are going to see lots of people at pay phones, calling themselves to activate that cell phone nipple clamp, many which mysteriously got moved to the crotchal area.
posted by Mack Twain at 9:59 PM on February 6, 2002

I can't believe I never bothered to check the WHOIS information for this site. The fact that the whole thing is not only staged, but staged by people probably associated with the bad makes it even more pathetic.
posted by AFrayedKnot at 11:21 PM on February 6, 2002

It would be nice if handsfree devices were required by law everywhere, not just in cars (as is the case in the Empire State): that would reduce public displays of audible phone conversation.

So we would be surrounded by people who are apparently talking to themselves. How am I going to know who to avoid on the subway if EVERYONE looks like they're talking to themselves?

That idea actually scares me, because people would take their headsets home with them from the office... we'd be one step closer to the Borg... always connected to the collective.
posted by insomnyuk at 1:35 AM on February 7, 2002

These phone bashings *are* staged, aren't they?
posted by mecran01 at 6:18 AM on February 7, 2002

Yes, they are. If you read the site carefully and follow all the links, you'll see that it's a promotional site for a band, hence the ownership by Virgin records. Viril marketing anyone?
posted by Hackworth at 7:57 AM on February 7, 2002

Use a friggin' headset, and it becomes a non-issue, really

Consumer Reports has a fairly well-researched article (sorry, wasn't able link) on cell phone safety in their current issue. According to several studies, the use of a headset made little or no difference in the number of accidents related to talking and driving. It's the conversation, not the operation, that is the problem.

No doubt, a conversation with a person in the car with you is equally distracting, but at least a person can yell "look out, idiot!" if you're about to rearend someone.

Ok, I admit it, I'm a complete Luddite when it comes to the damn things, but not without reason. Most of them sound crappy, they soak your brain with radiation and (news flash!) walking around subjecting others to your private one-sided conversation resembles a psychotic episode. Don't even get me started on that out-of-tune bleeping they emit.

Silence - try it, you might like it.
posted by groundhog at 9:01 AM on February 7, 2002

I have definitely seen a news report recently (which I annoyingly can't find online) where research showed it wasn't only the manual operation of a phone which is dangerous while driving, but that the part of the brain used for holding a conversation takes 'resources' away from the part of the brain which processes the signals required for driving. As groundhog says, it's the conversation, not the operation.

This guy ran over a girl in his SUV (we call them four-wheel drives) while on his phone, could he be any more of a pariah?
posted by Markb at 9:23 AM on February 7, 2002