It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it: chip reviews

December 18, 2014 2:10 PM

"To be frank, these chips taste exactly like they are named. Simply, nothing more, and nothing less. The relatively spicy Tapatío hot sauce burns, while the acidic, and citrusy lime flavor shocks the tongue. The classic combination of chile and lime is once again revealed, and executed. Probably the only thing we find a bit unsuspecting about these chips is that there is no cheese flavor at all. Each, and every one of the other Tapatío-FritoLay snacks, seemed to have an underlying cheese flavor among them. For good, or for bad, the cheese flavor was there in all the other; but with these, they simply delivered spicy hot chile and lime." Chip Review takes a look at Lay's "Tapatío and Lime" flavor. More reviews in the Tapatio category of chips. Lime/Limón reviews; salt-and-vinegar. These are general reviews, for their 2014 countdown, see below the fold.

Chip Review’s 25 Chips to Christmas — 2014

"We would like to say that it has been a true pleasure sharing our thoughts with all of you as we chomped our way through hundreds of bags, and countless calories this past year :) Thanks to all of you who follow us each and every day. We appreciate it, and we wouldn't be here without each and everyone of you!! Also, a very special thanks to those snack companies who graciously provided their products for us to review. It’s a tough job (especially for our waistlines), but someone has got to do it."

posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome (54 comments total)

Ha - I bought a bag of Tapatío chips once. They were the only chips we had in the house but they were so hot... we began to refer to them as potato chip aversion therapy.
posted by GuyZero at 2:24 PM on December 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

It's disappointing that this otherwise comprehensive site has omitted the Let's brand of fried potato chippings while giving their highest rating to the Doritos Late Night – All Nighter Cheeseburger.

Fortunately, one aficionado of heavily salted snack treats, who hosts a Youtube channel also devoted to the topic, has them covered.
posted by Doktor Zed at 2:28 PM on December 18, 2014

Related: Leonard likes pizza.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:30 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

I love Tapatio Doritos so much! More of a flavorful spice than Hot Cheetos; I've always preferred Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos to the classic Flaming Hots, anyway.
posted by Juliet Banana at 2:31 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

What's the point in reviewing frozen pizza chips?
- You're talking about it.
Well, that is true.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:31 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

One of the best things about moving to Los Angeles is all the interesting new chip flavors I had never encountered before living east of the Mississippi. Especially if you like spicy and/or sour flavors. Lays "limon" potato chips are so good they've caused my interest in salt & vinegar chips to wane completely.

I was also impressed with the Doritos Salsa Verde, which are really quite spicy for mass-market chips that aren't branded at all with CRIPPLINGLY CALIENTE bag copy.
posted by Sara C. at 2:32 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I disagree with their Lay's Tapatio-Limon rating: 3.25? Those things are ©©©©©.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 2:32 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

OH MY GOD NO.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 2:34 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I want these (the Tapatio-Limon ones) and they don't seem to exist here. I've been looking for months. *shakes fist*
posted by Wolfdog at 2:39 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I love salt & vinegar chips. LOVE. THEM. One of the saddest and most angrifying things ever is when you just want some friggin' s&v chips but so many of them have modified milk ingredients, thus ensuring I can't eat them.

Well, most of the major brands have mmf, but my new favorite doesn't, but they're getting increasingly harder to find here in Canada.
posted by Kitteh at 2:46 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Somebody used the word "complex" to describe Funyuns.

I ... what
posted by Wolfdog at 2:50 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

I love salt & vinegar chips. LOVE. THEM.

The irony of living in California is that I can get all these crazy hot Tapatío chips but no decent S&V chips! I don't want spicy, I just want mouth-ulcer-inducing vinegar power!
posted by GuyZero at 2:51 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

I wish Funyuns would bring back the wasabi flavor. those were awesome.
posted by sineater at 2:53 PM on December 18, 2014

Tim's jalapeno or GTFO!!

(actually the Tapatio chips are pretty amazing)

(also the Tabasco Cheez-Its)
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 2:56 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

If they could find some, maybe they could review the Korean Honey Butter Chips that have turned into a huge snack fad over the last few months. The chips are supposed to be so popular that stores sell out of them within 30 minutes or less, people pre-pay stores for bags from future shipments, people sell them on eBay at high prices, and celebrities post pictures of themselves posing with the chips on social media when they manage to get hold of a bag.

I doubt the chips are actually anything too special, but it's hard not to be a little intrigued.
posted by banal retentive at 2:58 PM on December 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

I'm shocked that Zapp's Jalapeno chips didn't make their top 5, because unlike most other jalapeno chips they actually taste like freshly diced jalapeno peppers.
posted by Sara C. at 3:02 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

The irony of living in California is that I can get all these crazy hot Tapatío chips but no decent S&V chips! I don't want spicy, I just want mouth-ulcer-inducing vinegar power!

Every store I go into in Southern California has salt and vinegar chips... I prefer the Fresh and Easy brand kettle ones, so crispy!
posted by Huck500 at 3:05 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Odd, doesn't seem to be a single flavor of "All Dressed" chips reviewed. After trying them in Canada once on a trip, I have to get multiple bags every time I'm there.
posted by evilangela at 3:10 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I miss Zapp's spicy creole chips with Tabasco.
posted by gyc at 3:15 PM on December 18, 2014

#15 Primizie – Classic Italian 7-Herb & Cheese Smoked Dutch Gouda and Garlic Thick Cut Crispbreads

Why would you mix Italian herbs *and* smoked gouda *and* garlic?

Okay, after clicking through I am relieved to see that it's actually two different kinds of chips.
posted by asterix at 3:19 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wait...wait...wait.

Larry the Cable Guy makes chips?

...and Biscuit and Gravy chips at that. Something is horribly wrong (or possibly right according to the review...color me intrigued)
posted by Benway at 3:31 PM on December 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

Their miserly ©©-1/2 rating for Takis Fuego demonstrates they are not qualified to be reviewing chile and lime based chips.
posted by Nelson at 3:32 PM on December 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

I dunno, I had some Takis Nitro and it basically tasted like the flavor was "vinegar & vinegar" with maybe some slight lime aftertaste. I was very disappointed. I will stick to Cheddar Jalapeño Cheetos which are the best FYI.
posted by capricorn at 3:37 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

I need this job! I will settle for the Biscuit & Gravy chips.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:46 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I had chips in South Dakota that we never seen in LA. The Lay's Au Gratin, which sounds like potato-flavored potato chips, are to die for.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:49 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

What, wine can be complex, but Funyuns can't?

If this was about wine, people would be like, "Ooh, yes, it's earthy, yet extravagant... impetuous, but dignified." And sniffing it and shit. Hoo boy. I'll tell you what, wine is weak pee no matter how you slice it, but Funyuns? THAT's some interesting shit right there.

I'm just mad the supermarket near my house never has any of the weirder varieties. I couldn't even score a bag of Cappucino chips to save my life.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 4:09 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

"An initial waft of polysterene synergizes with notes of ripe corn.... starch... and hints of the Orient in a tangy hydrolyzed soy protein finish."
posted by Wolfdog at 4:16 PM on December 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

Zapp's Hotter Than Hot Jalapeño chips for the win.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:26 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Salt and vinegar kettle chips are basically the ubersnack.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:39 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm shocked that Zapp's Jalapeno chips didn't make their top 5

Zapp's Jalapeño are pretty great, but their Voodoo chips are an absolute wonder.

And yeah, their Takis review is so wrong it's stunning, though they say in a few other posts that they don't like rolled tortilla chips in general, so I think this is just a matter of taste.
posted by Itaxpica at 4:57 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

You should be able to find Tostito's With Lime, which is almost a substitute.
posted by Sara C. at 5:14 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is the home edition of what Qdoba does with their chips:

Fill a small spray bottle with just enough lime juice, throw favorite corn chips in oven or toaster oven on a cookie sheet just long enough to make them sizzle and look oily. Spray with lime, maybe add some more fine salt while they are wet. Jeah
posted by aydeejones at 5:17 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Anybody else have the Kettle Brand Chips sriracha chips? They're the only chip i've found in New Jersey that's reasonably hot without being unpleasant for me. I saw them once (and immediately bought them), but I fear we were a test market. I hope the flavor made the cut.
posted by mollweide at 5:18 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

this once again proves to me that there's nothing you can think of that is not on the internet somewhere.
posted by modernnomad at 5:46 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I learned the hard way last summer that it's a bad idea to eat a whole bag of Tapatio Doritos in one sitting, despite how delicious they are. The horror... the horror...
posted by palomar at 6:11 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

>I disagree with their Lay's Tapatio-Limon rating: 3.25? Those things are ©©©©©.

Is that 5 toilet bowls?
posted by polymath at 7:06 PM on December 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Bursting With Spicy Chorizo

That's my nickname amongst the ladies.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:28 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

If you need more chip reviews, there's Taquitos.net, which currently has reviews of 1,490 different types of potato chips, including Čipi Rebrasti Čips Paprike from Croatia: "We crunched in to find a good crispness and a soft, somewhat brittle crunch."
posted by adamg at 7:42 PM on December 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

Ok, I understand the spacial differentiation between commodity fetishes but-

Y'all, UTZ? UTZ Carolina BBQ.

Sure, if there was a Tapatio flavored chip around here I would certainly jump on it. We have "Takis Fuego" (which has the best tasting dust layering for a corn chip I've had yet (also google image it because the bag is equally beautiful and enticing))

Utz also does "The Crab Chip" , which I can't describe further than: worth it for the supermarket buy one get one free deal.
posted by elk23 at 8:54 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

You should be able to find Tostito's With Lime, which is almost a substitute.

No. Just...no.

And I kind of like the fakey-lime flavor Tostitos! But no, not even close.
posted by kagredon at 9:02 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

No Andy Kapp's Hot Fries? That weird food I've only ever seen in vending machines...
posted by jferg at 9:23 PM on December 18, 2014

One of the striking things about Belgium is their rage of crisp chips flavours. Olive, pesto, French mustard, wood fire pizza are all common. The standard flavours are pickle or paprika. I'll be damned if I've seen a single pack of cheese and onion in three months though.
posted by Braeburn at 9:51 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Tapatio chips are excellent. Tapatio itself is pretty cheap out here, and we usually keep a bottle of it around the house since it's good, and hey it's under a buck (sometimes 2/$1.)
posted by azpenguin at 10:11 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

CRISPS, confound you.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 10:33 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I now eat crisps with chopsticks. Thanks, Metafilter.
posted by kinnakeet at 11:37 PM on December 18, 2014

The irony of living in California is that I can get all these crazy hot Tapatío chips but no decent S&V chips! I don't want spicy, I just want mouth-ulcer-inducing vinegar power!

Try Trader Joe's Hawaiian Style S&V chips. You're welcome.
posted by apricot at 6:20 AM on December 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Speaking of Hawaiian Style, I wish Hawaiian Sweet Onion kettle chips were as easy to find in Chicago as they were in Columbus. Columbus really killed it on chip variety; the state run liquor stores meant that instead of liquor stores, we mostly had "brew throughs" or drive-through beer stores that filled all the space that would normally hold liquor with a vast panoply of Midwestern snacks, a veritable deluge of Hot Fries and Cheese Popcorn and Pickle Chips.
posted by Juliet Banana at 7:55 AM on December 19, 2014

god i love the midwest
posted by Juliet Banana at 7:56 AM on December 19, 2014

Now I feel like going on a quest to find the strangest chips I can within a few blocks of work.
posted by malocchio at 8:20 AM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

(I don't want a big huge bag though, so I feel I might be hampered a bit.)
posted by malocchio at 8:21 AM on December 19, 2014

They didn't review my favorite, Takis Fuego in the purple bag. They did review Takis Zombie Nitro, which I've never tried. Habanero and cucumber doesn't sound bad, but Zombie Nitro sounds more like a challenge than it does a flavor.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:47 PM on December 19, 2014

Well, I guess they did give Takis Fuego a rating of @@ 1/2, but no actual review. Although Takis does have some urban legends that are attached to the brand. I'm sure they can give you heartburn (as well as other body parts), but cancer?
posted by krinklyfig at 3:52 PM on December 19, 2014

I have had a yearly subscription to Pommelier, the crisp tasters' bible for several decades now. Still one of the few tasting hobbies where the finest examples humanly available can be had for under 20 dollars, no matter how rarefied your tastes become.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 2:12 AM on December 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

The only place anywhere close to where I live that had Takis Fuego was Wal-Mart in a display bin near the front and no other flavors just hundreds of bags of Fuego like a crumply purple oasis of love but that disappeared a few weeks ago with the holiday displays taking over but there were no Takis anywhere else not in the aisle with the rest of the chips even though I asked a couple employees stocking the store who couldn't even find a tag on the shelf and didn't care about my feelings at all it's so obvious and so I bought Andy Capp's Hot Fries which were like dried tobasco and bad intentions on styrofoam and not at all satisfying dammit it's not fair to take Takis away without warning I only buy them once in a while but it's all I have in this world full of HATE AND EVIL!

Merry Fucking Christmas!
posted by krinklyfig at 3:27 PM on December 25, 2014