50 years of beeping
December 21, 2014 10:24 PM   Subscribe

 
I grew up not really understanding that this northeast US tradition wasn't just a totally normal thing for everyone. Hell, it was a number of years before I even realized that "Hess" wasn't just the name for a certain kind of truck, like a fire truck.
posted by DoctorFedora at 10:26 PM on December 21, 2014 [10 favorites]


I had the 1993 police car and man that was a great toy. Pretty much indestructible too given the number of dinosaur attacks and trips down the staircase mine survived.
posted by Wretch729 at 10:30 PM on December 21, 2014 [9 favorites]


this is a new thing to me and I was delighted by it. It's very high quality.
posted by bq at 10:32 PM on December 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


I know a few people who collect these. It's a lovely tradition.
posted by arcticseal at 10:47 PM on December 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


I grew up not really understanding that this northeast US tradition wasn't just a totally normal thing for everyone.

Even living in New England I'd never even heard of it until after I'd made a friend from Upstate NY in college. Hess stations are thin on the ground here in NH, nonexistent in Vermont and Maine, and according to the map are absent from Connecticut too despite surrounding it on all sides.
posted by XMLicious at 11:15 PM on December 21, 2014


The HESS truck's back and it's better than ever!
For Christmaaaas this year, the HESS truck's here!
posted by bleep at 11:37 PM on December 21, 2014 [24 favorites]


Looking at the website I see I had the 1986 firetruck with ladder and either the '77 or '78 model. I can remember from muscle memory where you reached to switch the lights on. There was one Hess station in town but as far as I can remember we never went there for gas. Dad was strictly an Arco and Mobil man.
posted by Spatch at 11:47 PM on December 21, 2014


I busted my X-Wing in like five minutes because I threw it like a paper airplane, as you do. The Hess toys we got lasted and lasted. We might still have one somewhere.
posted by ob1quixote at 12:01 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]


Loved my Hess trucks as a kid. They should fold the gas stations and only sell toys.

Wasn't a huge part of the appeal of the Hess truck the fact that kids would see the trucks advertised at the station and then want their parents to buy one? Sort of like those Dairy Queens with the signs reading "SCREAM UNTIL DADDY STOPS THE CAR"?
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:45 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]


The HESS truck's back and it's better than ever!

A few years ago, it was "The Hess truck's back, it's a helicopter!"

What the actual fuck, Hess? At least this year it's both a truck and a spacecraft. But you can't call it a truck if it's a helicopter.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:17 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]


The marketing so worked too. Between the fact that my mother bought gas at hess almost exclusively - I think it was the closest place that continued to be full service the longest so she was the most comfortable there - and my brother's line up of hess trucks on his dresser, I do actually still view hess stations as somehow the 'homey' gas station.
posted by Tandem Affinity at 4:31 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


But you can't call it a truck if it's a helicopter.

The Highwayman defies your pat categorizations!
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:57 AM on December 22, 2014 [8 favorites]


My brother got Hess trucks (or helicopters) every year, which he thought were awesome. I remember going with my mom to the Hess Station here in NH to get it. I think it is now a BP or something, alas.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:40 AM on December 22, 2014


Even living in New England I'd never even heard of it until after I'd made a friend from Upstate NY in college. Hess stations are thin on the ground here in NH, nonexistent in Vermont and Maine, and according to the map are absent from Connecticut too despite surrounding it on all sides.

There used to be one along my daily commute (CT) and it made traffic a complete pain every Friday evening in December.

I still have one of these trucks still wrapped in my closet. I figured that there was no point unwrapping it when it looked and felt like every fourth gift under the tree and I knew that I was never going to open it for myself.
posted by dances with hamsters at 5:43 AM on December 22, 2014


I also had no idea it was regional. Every Christmas at my uncle's house in New Jersey all his sons would get them, and now that they're grown, their sons in turn. They probably have close to multiple compete collections among them.
posted by nev at 5:46 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


I used to get the Hess truck every Christmas for the longest time. I grew up in CT and we didn't have a Hess station anywhere nearby, but my aunt brought it down from upstate NY every year. When I hit the age where I wasn't really interested anymore, my aunt kept buying them for my mom, who didn't want to break the streak. There's a giant stack of Hess trucks in their boxes in the basement.
posted by pemberkins at 5:46 AM on December 22, 2014


Energizer batteries included!
posted by dr_dank at 6:35 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]


Huh, I never thought about this being regional, and if pressed to guess which region it was, I wouldn't have guessed New England since I got a Hess truck just about every Christmas as a kid down here in Florida.
posted by nulledge at 6:39 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


The Highwayman defies your pat categorizations!
Energizer batteries included!


Needs more Jacko!
posted by yerfatma at 7:01 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hess' are relatively new in RI, maybe sometime in the last decade - they tend to be less expensive and have a better variety of snacks and sodas. They've outlived the BP and Lukoil franchises that popped up at around the same time (when Exxon was bought by Mobile and the Texaco stations disappeared), so they must be doing something right.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:03 AM on December 22, 2014


There was a Hess station down the hill from my old job-- I don't know if it's still there-- and I often bought gas there because it was cheap.

Can't say I ever cared about the toy truck, though.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:34 AM on December 22, 2014


OOH I gotta get one of these. I have 3 kids and can't afford 3 of em, I guess they will have to share.
posted by Mister_A at 7:50 AM on December 22, 2014


So I was gonna come in here and be all like "There were few commercials that, as a kid, signified that Christmas Was Coming more than The Hess Truck commercial, here's a few!"
So I go to youtube, and whatya know, Hess itself has a bunch of links! Sweet, there's even a compilation video...
Oh, that's kinda cool but it's not the commercial proper.
Well thankfully they also have a bunch of individual year commercials....
OH COME ON HESS! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO NOSTALGIA! No wonder you guys got sold off.

Turns out these dorks have Copyrighted most of the actual commercials in favor of those dumb things, and the best example I could find, is on Dailymotion. But still, Nostalgia and stuff.
posted by WeX Majors at 8:07 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


Huh, I never thought about this being regional, and if pressed to guess which region it was, I wouldn't have guessed New England since I got a Hess truck just about every Christmas as a kid down here in Florida.

It's really more of an NYC-metro thing than a New England thing, although they have them in New England, too. This is making me all nostalgic for Christmas in the New York suburbs in the early 90s. I feel like everybody (well, everybody who celebrates and likes the season) has a Platonic Ideal of Christmas that they carry around with them, based on the way things were when they were kids. Mine involves Hess truck ads, and Mickey's Christmas Carol, and the Rockefeller Center tree, and boxy Toyotas and Oldsmobiles, and brisk 40-degree days with flurries, and houses with inflatable lawn ornaments, and lasagna.

An aside: if Hess sold all their stations, does this mean they are gonna stop offering free air for tires? I mean, it only saves you a quarter or whatever, but I always thought that was a nice gesture.
posted by breakin' the law at 8:14 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


They also make wine which doesn't seem to fit into the homey family image....
posted by miyabo at 8:16 AM on December 22, 2014


They also make wine which doesn't seem to fit into the homey family image....

?

Depends on the family.
posted by breakin' the law at 8:18 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]


Why would they move a gift usually bought by grandparents online? A straw poll of my older coworkers showed that most of the grands buy several Hess trucks every year for various relations and they all dread the idea of needing to order them online.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:13 AM on December 22, 2014


Not sure why a couple people from CT have said there's no Hess stations here... I can think of at least three off the top of my head. State Street in New Haven, Frontage Rd in East Haven, and on the Berlin Turnpike in Newington. /shrug
posted by reptile at 2:58 PM on December 22, 2014


I said that up above, though I'm not from Connecticut, just because that's what the dynamic map on the web site appeared to show me when I zoomed out to look at all of New England. But it seems as though it was probably a glitch or there must be some other explanation if you guys have all seen them there.
posted by XMLicious at 3:46 PM on December 22, 2014


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