Something About Bridges, Trolls, etc...

December 29, 2014 10:19 AM

In an effort to not favor any of its member countries over the others, the European Central Bank decided to feature fictional bridges on a series of banknotes. So the Dutch built the bridges.
posted by exit (47 comments total)

Brilliant!
posted by smackfu at 10:20 AM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Dear European Central Bank: Please issue banknotes featuring space elevators and possibly giant robots.
posted by darksasami at 10:23 AM on December 29, 2014 [81 favorites]

Best of the World
posted by dismitree at 10:23 AM on December 29, 2014

That is hilarious.
posted by kyrademon at 10:34 AM on December 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

Saved a lot of money on the design work...
posted by 724A at 10:34 AM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

The article reminded me of this comment, reinforcing my perception of the Dutch national character.
posted by exit at 10:35 AM on December 29, 2014 [11 favorites]

Wonderful.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 10:48 AM on December 29, 2014

Amazing what a willingness to spend money on infrastructure gets you.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:49 AM on December 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

Well, and a landscape with lots of canals.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 10:51 AM on December 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Wow. Between this and the comment exit linked, I'm really hoping I have some heretofore unknown Dutch ancestry.
posted by graphnerd at 11:01 AM on December 29, 2014

The article reminded me of this comment, reinforcing my perception of the Dutch national character.

That's a good story, but with all due respect to Steven C. Den Beste, most people in the Netherlands had surnames long before Napoleon invaded. Also, according to this Dutch Wikipedia page, the tale that some people took on "smartass" names is a myth.
posted by beagle at 11:15 AM on December 29, 2014 [7 favorites]

I love it. What a fun thing to do.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:25 AM on December 29, 2014

It says something about the virtual nature of money. And symbolism of a fake bridge on the currency of a Union.
posted by stbalbach at 11:37 AM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wait, you can still build things like bridges? I thought that we'd lost that technology years ago. Next you're going to tell me that you can still build railroads.
posted by octothorpe at 11:38 AM on December 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

Yes, we can still build bridges. Don't know about you.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:51 AM on December 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

We're mostly trying to figure out how to keep our existing ones from falling down. Apparently you're supposed to maintain them.
posted by octothorpe at 11:54 AM on December 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

The only unusual thing about these bridges is that they put design into them. Usually for a span of this size over a small amount of water, you would just use concrete beams. And you wouldn't even notice you were driving over a bridge.
posted by smackfu at 12:05 PM on December 29, 2014

So the only thing unusual about these bridges is that they're unusual?
posted by cmoj at 12:15 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

This is the greatest ever real life troll. I tried to think of how to write that sentence finishing with "since ..." and I cannot do it.
posted by bukvich at 12:17 PM on December 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

We're mostly trying to figure out how to keep our existing ones from falling down. Apparently you're supposed to maintain them.

Or build concrete tunnels beneath existing bridges such that falling chunks of stone don't impede rush hour traffic. Wtf, south Pittsburgh, wtf.
posted by Slackermagee at 12:18 PM on December 29, 2014

The only unusual thing about these bridges is that they put design into them. Usually for a span of this size over a small amount of water, you would just use concrete beams. And you wouldn't even notice you were driving over a bridge.

Well, that's all most of them they are, really. Just concrete with a pretty face. But it's a neat trick to get something more interesting.
posted by Thing at 12:24 PM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

In an effort to not favor any of its member countries over the others, the European Central Bank decided to feature fictional bridges on a series of banknotes.

They also wanted to avoid calling it by any term that had ever been used for a European currency; so originally it was going to be the "Ecu", presumably derived from "European Currency Unit" or something like that. It took an astonishingly long time for anyone to notice that France had in fact once had a currency called the "Ecu", which is weird since it's mentioned many times in Dumas' The Three Musketeers, which kind of a lot of people have read.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:30 PM on December 29, 2014

Course we did. And in Spijkenisse of all places. That clearly is the first place you'd look for a playful architectoral structure.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:31 PM on December 29, 2014

like the old saying goes: If you ain't Dutch, you ain't archetectural trolls willing to spend money on making critical infrastructure risible.
posted by boo_radley at 12:32 PM on December 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

So the only thing unusual about these bridges is that they're unusual?

Heh. My point was that I wouldn't hold these up as amazing bridges that the Dutch are doing much better than anyone else.
posted by smackfu at 12:33 PM on December 29, 2014

Dear European Central Bank: Please issue banknotes featuring space elevators and possibly giant robots.

More to the point, please issue banknotes featuring me exercising all-consuming power over every living being on Earth.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:53 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

They also wanted to avoid calling it by any term that had ever been used for a European currency; so originally it was going to be the "Ecu", presumably derived from "European Currency Unit" or something like that.

I was hoping for the European Monetary Unit. "That will be twelve emus, please."
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:57 PM on December 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

They missed an opportunity to create the quatloo.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:59 PM on December 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

I was hoping for the European Monetary Unit. "That will be twelve emus, please."

And you thought current Euro wallets were big...
posted by Tomorrowful at 1:18 PM on December 29, 2014

This would be funnier if the ECB responded with a copyright takedown notice.
posted by Lanark at 1:34 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Faint of Butt: "I was hoping for the European Monetary Unit. "That will be twelve emus, please.""

Funny you should mention it.
posted by brokkr at 1:36 PM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

octothorpe: We're mostly trying to figure out how to keep our existing ones from falling down. Apparently you're supposed to maintain them.

That's just what those big-government tax-and-spend Democrats want you to think!
posted by IAmBroom at 1:40 PM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is the greatest ever real life troll

...since the Peter the Great statue.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:48 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

They also wanted to avoid calling it by any term that had ever been used for a European currency.
Another reason is that it sounded too much like Kuh (cow) in German (source). But I suspect that the true reason is that the -cu ending was a non-starter in Francophone countries, as cu is an homophone of cul, i.e. ass in French. The rhymes and puns wrote themselves (and they already existed when people used écus for coins).
posted by elgilito at 1:48 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Amazing what a willingness to spend money on infrastructure gets you.

Only €1 million, apparently.
posted by ambrosen at 2:54 PM on December 29, 2014

like the old saying goes: If you ain't Dutch, you ain't archetectural trolls willing to spend money on making critical infrastructure risible.

For those that are unfamiliar, this is a play of the saying 'if you ain't Dutch, you ain't much' (arrogance: a cultural tradition in... well, every culture).
posted by el io at 3:13 PM on December 29, 2014

....that's the Jamaican flag all over the Peter the Great statue, right?

Pls to post explanation of statue thx
posted by glasseyes at 5:08 PM on December 29, 2014

Actually, I think the "To the Struggle Against World Terrorism" might trump Peter the Great.

</derail>
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:28 PM on December 29, 2014

It's pretty sad/pathetic that the European member states have so little sense of cooperation that they can't even celebrate real European architecture on their banknotes. WTH EU?
posted by ryanrs at 11:03 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Although "creating imaginary bridges" could well be the EU motto.
posted by Segundus at 3:22 AM on December 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

There is no such thing as European architecture. And that is fine.
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:05 AM on December 30, 2014

My point was that I wouldn't hold these up as amazing bridges that the Dutch are doing much better than anyone else.

Neither would I, or in fact, anyone I can think of. But they're fun and still functional, and sometimes that's enough, surely?
Or do we have to do everything better than anyone else?
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:13 AM on December 30, 2014

beagle: "That's a good story, but with all due respect to Steven C. Den Beste, most people in the Netherlands had surnames long before Napoleon invaded."

I'd like to hear your theory on how someone acquired the surname "the best" then!
posted by pwnguin at 8:38 AM on December 30, 2014

Megalomania?
posted by Mitheral at 2:22 PM on December 30, 2014

Don't know the origin, but there are records of people named Den Beste well before the Napoleonic era.
posted by beagle at 6:06 AM on January 1, 2015

It could very well be a nickname given to someone by neighbours and friends, either ironically or straight up.
posted by Too-Ticky at 7:43 AM on January 1, 2015

Slackermagee: "Or build concrete tunnels beneath existing bridges such that falling chunks of stone don't impede rush hour traffic. Wtf, south Pittsburgh, wtf."

They are finally working on replacing it, it appears.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:28 AM on January 8, 2015