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January 1, 2015 5:50 AM   Subscribe

 
Don't expect your customers to speak your domain language and know the details of your profession. If they knew all that, they probably wouldn't hire you. Saying this as an amateur who frequently does design work and hears these phrases a lot.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 5:58 AM on January 1, 2015 [53 favorites]


I agree with Foci. That being said, a little common sense goes a long way.
posted by Fizz at 6:08 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


omg you're telling me if I become a DJ I could make lot of girls? Amazing!

Though I could see making "easy with a computer HEY" my official 2015 catchphrase.
posted by phunniemee at 6:09 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]




For those wondering why these are so awkward and non-idiomatic (I'm still not sure what "Such a shame if taken with iPhone" or "make lot of girls" mean), it's because they're from an Italian site. It is way too damn early and it took me a few minutes to figure out that "reflex" was supposed to mean "SLR / DSLR."
posted by alexoscar at 6:15 AM on January 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


Maybe half the phrases on the Graphic Designer page are generalizable to any professional specialty. "It will only take a minute" and "You are the [n], you know what to do" are things I've repeatedly heard across the various careers I've held, including the designery ones.

And maybe another quarter are also said by designers to each other. Maybe it's more annoying to hear "Give a bit of effect" from people outside the trade, a betrayal of the speaker's ignorance rather than an indication that they're speaking their mind in shorthand? I dunno.
posted by ardgedee at 6:22 AM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Make it Pop!
posted by Thorzdad at 6:22 AM on January 1, 2015 [9 favorites]


A simpler approach than a list of verboten statements is just to avoid people. 2015 resolution sorted.
posted by srboisvert at 6:25 AM on January 1, 2015 [28 favorites]


What to say to all of them: 'You're a bit oversensitive aren't you?'
posted by biffa at 6:34 AM on January 1, 2015 [25 favorites]


My nephew's drawn it for you.
posted by Segundus at 6:37 AM on January 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


What we have learned: never speak to anyone who considers themselves professionals. They are subtle and quick to anger.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:42 AM on January 1, 2015 [23 favorites]


Where is the list of what not to say to an author? My fave: "You know what you should write...?" No, I have no clue.

Over sensitive? That comes from the constant loop of people assuming they know more than you...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 6:50 AM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


What we have learned: never speak to anyone who considers themselves professionals.

Or, y'know, unless our conversation is going to be in Spanish, don't start out by saying "¡hola!".
posted by Thorzdad at 6:51 AM on January 1, 2015


"Make me look good" is a totally reasonable thing to say to a photographer. Do these guys all think they're intrepid photo-journalists uncovering the truth or something?
posted by colie at 6:54 AM on January 1, 2015 [14 favorites]


About a third of the graphic designer ones seem like completely reasonable client requests

I would be loath to hire a designer who can't stand the idea of "colorful" being summery.
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:18 AM on January 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


Indeed, "making you look good" is the primary domain of an entire swath of pro photographers. It's, like, their job.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:19 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


That's exactly why it's a dumb thing to say to a professional photographer, though. It's like hiring a driver and then reminding them to keep an eye on the fuel gauge and remember to use turn signals.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:21 AM on January 1, 2015 [12 favorites]


Photographers and graphic designers fair enough. You're not putting DJs in the same bracket surely. You're good at putting a few songs on. WELL DONE YOU.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 7:24 AM on January 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


Generalized things you should never say to any sort of creative professional:

"I have a great idea for a ______," and any sentence that comes immediately afterward: "I know it'll make a lot of money," "I just haven't had the time to learn how to do it," "I know exactly how I want it to be, so making it will be really easy," "We should collaborate on it and split the profits 50/50," "I can't tell you about it because I don't want anyone to steal my idea," "I've always considered myself an idea person, I have so many great ideas," "So, what do you think of my idea?"

"Can you do a creative thing for me? Payment? But aren't we friends?" Or "Payment? But isn't it something you love to do anyway?"

"Oh, you're the professional, I trust your judgment, do what you think is best." Later: "That's not what I had in mind at all."

"I think I'm a natural at this! I'd be great in this profession, I just need to learn how to do all the technical stuff."

"You should make a thing that makes a lot of money so you can be rich! That one guy did it!"

"How hard can it be?"

"I can't afford that. I'll just have my cousin/a student/someone from Fiverr do it."

"I bet you make a LOT of money."

"Why is everyone in your profession so stuck-up and snobby about it?"
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:30 AM on January 1, 2015 [24 favorites]


I have heard all of those while DJing. There's nothing complicated about not saying any of those, because what they amount to is "treat this person like he is working because he is." My "favorite" is when someone at a party decides that they are going to "help" me by drunkenly telling me every song I play sucks and to change it immediately.

"This song sucks, can't you play something good?"
Like what?
"I don't know, something I can dance to."
How am I meant to know what you personally like dancing to?
"Just figure it out! And do it now!"
posted by 1adam12 at 7:34 AM on January 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


Oh please. Another retread of snarky rules written by mac-snob snowflakes who refer to themselves as "creatives." Your philistine client is paying you.
posted by headnsouth at 7:35 AM on January 1, 2015 [19 favorites]


When you are a photographer and talking with a potential client, your job is to listen to what they say, their concerns and worries, and do your best to do two things: decide if you can give them what they want, and decide if you understand the real reasons behind those concerns.

The fact is, while many of us pros of various stripes are often bemused by such requests, it is very much the most important part if our jobs to figure out the real problem; the real pain point.

I get this site is pointing out the tiresome ways non pros see one's domain, the fact is that this is often the only way for them to try and convey subtle concerns.

It doesn't matter you've heard it before. You are a pro. You'll hear it again. Because you are a pro.

Ask yourself what they are really trying to say, and act accordingly.

This applies to innocent and genuine queries, of course. Everyone has to field queries from dicks and self-important windbag.

But these links conflate the two, which is an error.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:37 AM on January 1, 2015 [36 favorites]


It's like hiring a driver and then reminding them to keep an eye on the fuel gauge and remember to use turn signals.

The last time I hired a taxi he spent 5X as much time looking at his phone as he did looking at the road. He did not have any working brain space for pedestrians, bicycles, or motorcycles.
posted by bukvich at 7:57 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Well if DJs are professionals why do so many take their girlfriends to stand by their booth?*

(*Was true when I went to things with DJs anyway, this may have been a while ago.)
posted by biffa at 7:58 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


> Oh please. Another retread of snarky rules written by mac-snob snowflakes who refer to themselves as "creatives." Your philistine client is paying you.

Now, the thing is, most of these can be compartmentalized. Some are dreaded but have to be coped with ("My logo is in a Word file"). Some are pointless ("Make me look good") though usually well-meant.

Very few of them are straight-up douchebaggery ("Can you remove your watermark").

Sentiments like "Try to make everything bigger" is one of those things that means the client is discontented but doesn't know how to express it; so instead of trying to work out what they're having problems with, they're going straight to dictating solutions. That's human nature. It's also frustrating to be on the receiving end of. Because the client hired the designer to design, not to be the drafting hand guided by thought. It's OK to not like what the designer produced -- that's why there are review cycles -- it's just that vague leading directions, rather than workable opinions, are the least useful feedback and don't produce the best results (or only get there through luck and time-wasting numbers of iterations). Also, basically, because with an attitude like "I'm paying you, mac-snob snowflake so-called 'creative', do what I say," you're a douchebag after all.
posted by ardgedee at 8:00 AM on January 1, 2015 [15 favorites]


You're not putting DJs in the same bracket surely. You're good at putting a few songs on. WELL DONE YOU.

DJing well is way, way more than being 'good at putting a few songs on.' It's a creative endeavour like any other.

My pet peeve is people expecting me to cook all the time. IT IS MY DAY OFF PLEASE JUST GIVE ME TOAST
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:18 AM on January 1, 2015 [9 favorites]


"DJing well is way, way more than being 'good at putting a few songs on."

Do tell.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:23 AM on January 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


What not to say to a MeFite...
posted by humanfont at 8:25 AM on January 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


At many of my Jazz gigs (and they don't see anything wrong with walking right up to us and talking to us mid-song): "Play something by Frank Sinatra"
posted by sourwookie at 8:29 AM on January 1, 2015


Make the Logo Bigger
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:31 AM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


But, Bird God, aren't all birds either pigeons or seagulls? You act like you're omnipotent, but I bet bird god is an easy job. I could totally sit at a desk and toggle the pigeon/seagull switch all day. Say, are you hiring?
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:31 AM on January 1, 2015 [10 favorites]


> Do tell.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 8:39 AM on January 1, 2015 [16 favorites]


To a programmer: "We want to get the data into a computer." As the entire project specification.
posted by localroger at 8:46 AM on January 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


From the graphic designer page: "Something doesn't work but I'm not sure what" is a perfectly reasonable thing for a not-a-graphic-designer client to say. Your job is to figure out what doesn't work for them. Jesus christ, does this person think that their first draft is too perfect to deign to satisfy a mere client?
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 8:47 AM on January 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


Ask yourself what they are really trying to say, and act accordingly.

This. Hard to do, but this is the right professional response. Generally the client is trying to identify a real problem with what you've done for them - often based on their knowledge of their business / customers etc which is greater than yours. It can be difficult to get from the obvious "wrongness" of the way they express the issue, to the real underlying problem and the best way of fixing it - but is absolutely the right way to handle such comments.
posted by iotic at 8:48 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hey, localroger, that is the specification of the project that I'm working on for work right now. Of course, I'm not a computer programmer, so I'm just trying to convert that into a design specification document so that a programmer can do the clever stuff.
posted by YAMWAK at 8:49 AM on January 1, 2015


Jesus, don't get me started on the programmer ones, especially for specialized hardware. One boiled down to: "Yes, I deliberately bought Machine A instead of Machine B, even though they perform different functions. The A was $30,000 cheaper than the B. I want you to make my A work like a B...it's just code. It shouldn't be that hard or take too long."
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:52 AM on January 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


it's just code

Yeah, my father used to call that a SMOP -- a Small Matter Of Programming.
posted by localroger at 8:57 AM on January 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


I'm relieved to see that "Play some Skynyrd, man!" is still permissible.
posted by jonmc at 9:03 AM on January 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


This. Hard to do, but this is the right professional response.

True. So I usually follow up my above example with "Fly Me To The Moon". Sure, it's not "by" Sinatra, and since we do it as an instrumental it sounds nothing like him, but as far as I can tell, it's the closest we can do to what they're actually asking for.
posted by sourwookie at 9:04 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


> Do tell.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 10:39 on January 1


Holy shit.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:17 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


clvrmnky nails this one. Snarking at your customer base is a sign of an immature "professional" or perhaps of somebody who's still subconsciously working on bolstering his/her confidence by any means at hand.

Real professionals in any field know that true professional service is not mostly about being a talented auteur; it's about being a good listener to what your customer needs, about helping them identify what they are trying to ask for when they are flailing about clumsily to express themselves. You are partnered with the customer, not distanced from them.

These lists here make me picture the "professionals" involved smirking internally, suppressing their eye-rolling, while their clueless clients debase their art. That's not the mindset of a professional. That's the mindset of a dilettante.
posted by Pliskie at 9:18 AM on January 1, 2015 [25 favorites]


> "We want to get the data into a computer."

I actually get this one a lot.

"So, which data do you need?"
"*shrug* Everything... and make it run fast."
posted by I-Write-Essays at 9:28 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


So, every job I've had, there are things that lots of people say to you that show that they don't know how your job works. You hear the same things over and over, and they are often things that don't make a lot of sense from your professional perspective. The photography one and the graphic design one look like that (to me).

Then, also the same with every job I've had, there is a set of things that people say to you that show that they think your job is a joke and/or you are bad at your job. The DJ one seems to be mostly those.

Because I have talked to (literally) dozens of people who were positive that I was hiding non-rusted lettuce or in the cooler and that I could do some magic to make the avocados guac-ready tonight, but was stubbornly refusing because I am an asshole, I am positive that people in all strata get the first category of comments. It's your job to handle that professionally.

The second category seems to be a little different and, I would guess, comes from the "my kid could paint that" place. It can be difficult to draw a line between a professional and an amateur in lots of professions. But that's because lots of amateurs are pretending to be professionals. Lots of DJs let you put your coat behind the booth or share drink tickets with attractive/flirty people. Lots of people have nice lenses and can take well-focused photos. It's not clear to an outsider who is coming to you because they need professional guidance. I can't explain why this friend has nice engagement photos and that friend's photos are crap. I don't have the language for that. I have a different job.
posted by MsDaniB at 9:31 AM on January 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


How about:

"The music that you constantly play, it says nothing to me about my life."
posted by hydrophonic at 9:44 AM on January 1, 2015 [12 favorites]


"DJing well is way, way more than being 'good at putting a few songs on."

Do tell.


Someone has clearly not sat through 3 horrible sets till a good DJ takes over. The difference is night and day.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:12 AM on January 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


The thing about "make me look good" isn't that they're telling you to make them look good. They're telling you they're anxious about it and need some reassurance.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:13 AM on January 1, 2015 [11 favorites]


It's pretty bad when you're making data visualizations, and a client asks you to make it look like a spreadsheet.
posted by oceanjesse at 10:13 AM on January 1, 2015


The professionals should call out the 'make a lot of girls' for the crap that it is - why is a professional's sex life a topic of conversation? Does the questioner realize they are referencing people sound like transactions/property? Bringing their partner may save them from some inane conversations.
posted by childofTethys at 10:26 AM on January 1, 2015


When I moved to my current location and decided to have extensive landscaping done, I didn't know the slightest thing about trends in modern landscaping or what type of plants are appropriate for my local weather conditions. So I hired a professional that did, and was very pleased with the final product. He was very friendly and reassuring despite my ignorance, and he even took time to educate me about the decisions he made during the process and how to keep my plants alive year-around. I will hire him again next time I need work done.

In other words, I think vague customer descriptions and comments like "your the professional, I trust you" are par for the course for creative-for-hire professions like graphic design and photography. Sure, vivid descriptions from clients make the job easier, but a lot of people just don't have the basic knowledge and/or visual sense and/or time to concretely describe what they would like the final product to look like. Gracefully dealing with said clients is as much a part of the job as anything.
posted by Kevtaro at 11:18 AM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


why is a professional's sex life a topic of conversation?

For some professionals the career/job comes with a boost in sexual attention from others -- whether you may want it or not. Think musicians, actors, models, directors/producers, etc. I know a lot of amateur DJs (cisguys; all sexual orientations) for whom the sexual attention they knew they'd receive was a big motivator in choosing to DJ as their creative outlet.
posted by stubbehtail at 11:19 AM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


I work as a stripper. Depending on the club's size, culture, and payment structure—i.e. whether the DJ's income relies heavily on generous tip-outs from the dancers—the DJs often have to work closely with the dancers, which typically includes playing music that the dancer likes while she is onstage.

A DJ once told me that it drives him crazy when he asks a dancer what kind of music she likes, she says she doesn't know, but then tells him that she didn't like whatever he just played when she gets offstage. Then she tips him only the minimum because he didn't play the right music for her.

At which point I am grateful that my income comes from the customers, not my coworkers.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 11:26 AM on January 1, 2015 [12 favorites]


You know, these may be professionals, but they are also working people. Working people have every right to complain, snark or eye-roll things their employers say, and is not mutually exclusive with actually meeting their needs. You can still snark about the person paying you for a task, this isn't some feudal estate or something.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:29 AM on January 1, 2015 [11 favorites]


What not to say to a DJ: Do you really think you're an artist when all you do is play other people's music?
posted by Splunge at 11:35 AM on January 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


yup, I agree with both sides. From the perspective of a designer, you've got to understand that clients and coworkers can't always articulate the nuances of what they're looking for and you need to tease it out based on you're experience. If you're good at what you do, you can explain your choices in why you made something look that way it does as a rational goal towards what the client is trying to achieve.

On the other hand, sometimes people ask for the ridiculous and confuse personal preference with design choices. And that can wear on you after a while.

(And other times you might phone it in and get called on it, being loath to admit it. Eh.)
posted by [insert clever name here] at 11:41 AM on January 1, 2015


Heard as a former DJ (I'm a female):

Where's the real DJ? (She's standing here in front of you.)
Do you take requests? (NO.)
Can you play that song by what's her name? (Sure.)
Are you standing here while your boyfriend goes to the bathroom? (I am going to kill you.)
posted by kinetic at 11:47 AM on January 1, 2015 [13 favorites]


"DJing well is way, way more than being 'good at putting a few songs on."

Why do you never ask a DJ out to a movie? They always answer "Maybe, who's the projectionist?"

I will never stop loving that joke.
posted by mhoye at 11:48 AM on January 1, 2015 [21 favorites]


You're not putting DJs in the same bracket surely. You're good at putting a few songs on. WELL DONE YOU.

I'm also an attorney, and I've had clients complain that all I'm doing is "drawing up some papers" so why should they have to pay extra for that? The funny thing about almost everyone's job, including probably yours, is that you can say it's "only about doing task X" and ignore everything that actually goes into learning how to do the job well enough that someone wants to pay you for it.
posted by 1adam12 at 12:09 PM on January 1, 2015 [9 favorites]


Why do you never ask a DJ out to a movie? They always answer "Maybe, who's the projectionist?"

I will never stop loving that joke.


You laugh now, but just you wait until that one time you go to a movie and there's a person who doesn't know crap about being a projectionist sitting at the helm. First the movie will be out of focus and will eventually get stuck, and then the light bulb will burn out and explode, causing the film to catch fire. Soon the entire building will be engulfed in flames. Then we'll see who's laughing!
posted by surazal at 12:17 PM on January 1, 2015 [12 favorites]


More. Better.
posted by bobloblaw at 12:39 PM on January 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


"You're not putting DJs in the same bracket surely. You're good at putting a few songs on. WELL DONE YOU."

"DJing well is way, way more than being 'good at putting a few songs on."

In the context of strip clubs, I always tell customers that after the dancers, the DJ has the hardest job in the club.

First of all, using music to manipulate a club's energy is a skill. Some DJs are better at it than others. The right energy will encourage customers to tip at the stage, buy another song during lap dances, etc. The wrong energy is a distraction, like a minor itch you can't scratch.

The DJ has to juggle the mood of the room (based on the demographics of the crowd, what do the customers like to listen to?), the dancers (what does the dancer onstage like to dance to?), and which dancers are available to go onstage (DJs generally can't call a dancer to the stage if she is doing a private dance or VIP session). Sometimes there are multiple stages running and/or more than one dancer onstage at a time. Not to mention that he has to be on the mic every few minutes, meaning not much time for things like bathroom breaks.

In order to do all of that, the DJ has to know all of the dancers, including the pronunciation of their weird names and what they look like, so that he can call them to the stage over the mic and make sure that the right girl is onstage at the right time.

This is complicated by the fact that most clubs have a lot of turnover, so there is a constant flow of new dancers to keep track of. Plus, a lot of names that get repeated. Lacey today might not be the same Lacey from two months ago.

And, as mentioned in my previous comment, oftentimes the DJs have to know the music tastes of all of those girls, and his income is reliant on making these dancers happy.

Ever tried to make a club full of strippers happy all at once? Yeah.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 12:54 PM on January 1, 2015 [11 favorites]


Whole lotta clients on Metafilter today.
posted by Spatch at 1:18 PM on January 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


Put a photo in it there are lots on my Facebook

This is like 1000x better than what I normally hear, which is "No, we don't have any photos. Just go out and get some from Google. If they are on Google they are free to use."
posted by a dangerous ruin at 1:30 PM on January 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


Peppermint Snowflake: I was in a strip club once and the DJ put on Everclear's "Father of Mine." A great song but really weird in that context.
posted by jonmc at 2:09 PM on January 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


do you know Horus?

jesus christ now i have partially chewed vegemite toast stuck in my sinuses
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:58 PM on January 1, 2015


Aw, "make me look good" is basically a photography dad joke. Of course they have to say it! It's a compulsion! It's right up there with asking if an item's free if the cashier can't find a price sticker.
posted by redsparkler at 2:59 PM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


What NOT to say to a Bird God

Women are all either Horus or finches.
posted by benzenedream at 3:13 PM on January 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


Why do you never ask a DJ out to a movie? They always answer "Maybe, who's the projectionist?"

Your joke might actually make sense if projectionists chose which movie scenes to show and in what order.
posted by dydecker at 4:14 PM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


dydecker: that's the joke; that's why it's funny. It's as ignorantly offensive as possible in the fewest number of words, wrapped in standard joke format.
posted by ctmf at 4:42 PM on January 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


"Play something by Frank Sinatra"

I had a note passed to me while playing in an Atlanta rock club. By a girl. Expecting her phone number, I unfolded it as the guitarists tuned (again) before the next song, and it said "We're from out of town. Can you play some R.E.M.?"
posted by thelonius at 4:42 PM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's as ignorantly offensive as possible

Right, right. I can see how a mild joke at the expense of the marginalized and oppressed "Disk Jockey" class would fit that description.
posted by mhoye at 4:59 PM on January 1, 2015


Right at the top, Foci nailed it but I'd like to elaborate on it.

I've worked as a winemaker and a programmer and both jobs shared the same problem when it came to vocabulary. The people who consume your stuff don't necessarily know enough meaningful vocabulary to be able to communicate to the producer. I now do some creative work and, yet again, same problem. I work with students - same problem. The ontological mismatch problem underpins most of the frustration you get when you try to work with someone who doesn't have very much of your skill set. If we can't agree on common terms, we'll have difficult communicating on shared concepts, even if we sort of know what they are. (Yeah, yeah, back off, Noam Chomsky or I'll get out my Foucault gun.)

One of the things that I got trained out of quickly as a winemaker was saying that a wine was "interesting" because it didn't convey anything useful. Good and bad are similarly of questionable use to the professional winemaker. "Too acidic", "chalky tannins", "great blackcurrant and expected varietal notes", "too much diacetyl" are all valuable but that takes time and practice to achieve. I spent some time aligning to a previous boss because he used a term involving insects that meant something very specific but isn't a usual term. But, in that winery, it had a precise meaning and was a highly desirable characteristic for one of our premium products. (When you're working with over a million gallons across the winery, precision is preferred.)

I can feel zerouno's frustration with clients because most of these are not actually useful statements, yet the client is going to expect something useful to happen and then, as like as not, get frustrated or pull the project if this doesn't happen. Unmet expectations lead to frustration. Unsatisfiable expectations lead to inevitable frustration. Most people don't have enough time or opportunity to develop an educational relationship with people, so we get stuff like this where the same problems show up time and time and time again.

Mostly I read all of these as "in a perfect world I wouldn't hear this but I still have to make money so I'm going to scream quietly over here and then go back to making it 'more yellow' but without using any yellow." I'm probably being a little kind because I had a good New Year but my experience of most professions is "Work like a champ in the office and bitch about the issues in the bar", with the caveat that a suitably anonymous account on the Internet is now "the bar".
posted by nfalkner at 5:02 PM on January 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


I can see how a mild joke at the expense of the marginalized and oppressed "Disk Jockey" class would fit that description.

Your joke is not just at the expense of DJs though. It's also at the expense of the ignorant fools who make their choice of Saturday night entertainment based on which DJ might be playing. Such stupid chumps, don't they even realise the DJ didn't even make those records? Congratulations for pointing that out it's really smart.
posted by dydecker at 5:22 PM on January 1, 2015


feckless fecal fear mongering: "My pet peeve is people expecting me to cook all the time. "

Epony-disg*don'twannathinkaboutit
posted by notsnot at 5:24 PM on January 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


nfalkner: "I spent some time aligning to a previous boss because he used a term involving insects that meant something very specific but isn't a usual term. But, in that winery, it had a precise meaning and was a highly desirable characteristic for one of our premium products. (When you're working with over a million gallons across the winery, precision is preferred.)"

Now I'm really curious about terms involving insects that apply to wines.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:28 PM on January 1, 2015


Right, right. I can see how a mild joke at the expense of the marginalized and oppressed "Disk Jockey" class would fit that description.

Well, exactly. I should have said 'faux-ignorantly'. It's a good-natured jab, while not having the bad taste to punch down on a class that's actually being/been marginalized and oppressed. But it also shoots straight at a common DJ fear/insecurity/defensiveness, that people see them as only itunes operators. For put-down type humor (which isn't always my favorite) it's brilliant.
posted by ctmf at 5:29 PM on January 1, 2015


What not to say to a MeFite...
Didn't we have a whole Metatalk on the subject
posted by francesca too at 5:55 PM on January 1, 2015


Joakim Ziegler: "Now I'm really curious about terms involving insects that apply to wines."

"Crushed ants" is the term in question. It's used in some patches of the Australian industry but you can look at one person's take on it here. In the winery I worked at, it was a useful way to describe the particular regional aroma we got from some of the Shiraz.
posted by nfalkner at 6:29 PM on January 1, 2015


> Do tell
posted by I-Write-Essays at 10:39 on January 1

Holy shit.
posted by Jpfed at 12:17 on January 1


What he said.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:54 PM on January 1, 2015


Your joke is not just at the expense of DJs though. It's also at the expense of the ignorant fools who make their choice of Saturday night entertainment based on which DJ might be playing. Such stupid chumps, don't they even realise the DJ didn't even make those records? Congratulations for pointing that out it's really smart.

I'm a huge fan of electronic music and I like that joke. No, being a DJ is not like being a projectionist. The joke identifies a superficial similarity and makes an unexpected comparison between them, but it's absurd when you think about it. That's why it's funny.
posted by atoxyl at 9:08 PM on January 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


You know, in spite of having done graphic design work on commission, I can't give a fuck about the grievances of graphic designers as a group. They can claim the dubious distinction of rivaling tent revival preachers in the sheer vehemence of their belief that they're doing God's work in bringing aesthetic sophistication to the masses, the nature of which aesthetic, in one of that same deity's more accomplished strokes of irony, is so painfully limited and cargo-culted in its parameters as to be able to bring posthumous shame upon that principal of aesthetes Oscar Wilde. Seriously, I can't even look at gingham anymore without shuddering.



It feels good to have gotten that off my chest.
posted by invitapriore at 9:15 PM on January 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


"DJing well is way, way more than being 'good at putting a few songs on."

I used to help run Dance Away, a free form dance place in Santa Barbara. If one doesn't think DJs do a lot of reading and guiding the mood of the crowd, gradually increasing the tempo and intensity of the music to a crescendo, doing a "rest" song, and then repeating, except on a higher level...well I invite you to have a new DJ who thought to bring an entire evening's worth of music on a single cassette tape. Worst night we ever had.

A really good DJ is an artist, able to blend styles and decades of music to get an entire crowd going even without the assistance of alcohol or drugs. And we had some really damn good DJs.
posted by happyroach at 10:43 PM on January 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Snarking at your customer base is a sign of an immature "professional" or perhaps of somebody who's still subconsciously working on bolstering his/her confidence by any means at hand.

Oh good grief. Can you not see that these are tongue-in-cheek and meant to be humor?

One can behave in a professional manner toward clients while still sharing some humor about the challenges and frustrations of one's job.

SO SERIOUS
posted by Fleebnork at 6:33 AM on January 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


One can behave in a professional manner toward clients while still sharing some humor about the challenges and frustrations of one's job.

I'm all for sharing some humor about the challenges and frustrations of one's job, but the forum is wrong. Doing it in the form of virally-tuned internet content is kind of dumb. If I'm looking to hire somebody to do work for me, and a cursory search about them turns up this kind of stuff, I'm not going to choose them. Because I don't want to be second-guessing whether my interactions with them will show up in version 2 of "dumb things clients say."

That's why it seems to me unprofessional, because there's a non-zero possibility that they are preventing new clients from feeling comfortable to approach them at all, never mind hire them. For true freelancers, that's just bad business.

Snark about clients all you want over drinks or in private. Do it in public as a show of your attitude, and I'm going to feel comfortable calling you out as unprofessional, and more importantly, I'm not going to hire you.
posted by Pliskie at 7:48 AM on January 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


No, being a DJ is not like being a projectionist.

That's right. One job, when done oldschool, requires careful manual synchronization of old equipment to seamlessly switch from the output of one spinning piece of platter-shaped media to the other without making your audience aware of the break. The other is a DJ.
posted by Spatch at 9:28 AM on January 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


this should be retitled: "if these phrases irk you, maybe your profession should just be your hobby?"
posted by any major dude at 10:04 AM on January 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


Can you make the spoon bigger?
posted by I-Write-Essays at 2:18 PM on January 2, 2015


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