GIS: coming up with solutions for the problems no one asked!

January 8, 2015 11:21 AM

Mitch Hedberg and GIS Disproving “La Quinta” is Spanish for “next to Denny’s.”
posted by anastasiav (34 comments total)

This is why I love GIS. One question, why for the love of god didn't he just use a python library to grok the JSON data? That regular expression gave me hives.
posted by ChrisHartley at 11:29 AM on January 8, 2015 [7 favorites]

For my next feat, I will prove that rice is not, in fact, great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something, as the average serving of rice contains at least three-to-four thousand grains.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:33 AM on January 8, 2015 [10 favorites]

Then you can prove that literal accuracy is not needed for comic effect.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on January 8, 2015 [3 favorites]

Not only that, but the other day I had to prove I had bought this donut . . .
posted by The Bellman at 11:38 AM on January 8, 2015 [26 favorites]

stuck on broken escalator, plz help.
posted by pibeandres at 11:49 AM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]

Mitch Hedberg isn't lost, he just took the wrong exit off the high way.

(I don't think GIS would have helped him much though.)
posted by Catblack at 11:56 AM on January 8, 2015

And I was just putting the finishing touches on my GIS Applications syllabus! This is excellent for a syllabus-day example...
posted by sablazo at 12:05 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

As a Texan based on the sheer number of successful La Quinta Denny's pairings in Texas I guess I would just take that as further validation that the rest of you guys are doing it wrong.
posted by vuron at 12:13 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

Just had a club sandwich. Not a member.
posted by stltony at 12:13 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh, this is sweet. This is the sort of reason why I want to learn more programming: So I can answer questions about data myself (and I love GIS stuff in general).

The slogan that the hotel uses (used?) of "La Quinta, Spanish for…" inevitably turns into ragging on them for all the ways they disappoint. (When I last stayed in one, they told us on the phone that they had a pool. They neglected to tell us that it just had a foot of brackish water in it. La Quinta is Spanish for 'Pool's closed.' La Quinta is Spanish for 'disappointment.')
posted by klangklangston at 12:14 PM on January 8, 2015 [3 favorites]

The best Mitch Hedberg map joke: "I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."
posted by avocet at 12:19 PM on January 8, 2015 [27 favorites]

It's a pretty scientific fact that Red Roof is mid-atlantic for "next to Waffle House".
posted by Wolfdog at 12:22 PM on January 8, 2015 [5 favorites]

Is this the thread to complain about GIS software? Good. What's up with the ridiculous hoops you have to jump through to get an offline OSM renderer running? It makes me suspect that the software is convoluted on purpose in order to give consultants and contractors an income stream.
posted by Pyry at 12:52 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

It's a pretty scientific fact that Red Roof is mid-atlantic for "next to Waffle House".

Here in Georgia "next to Waffle House" is pronounced "off-ramp".
posted by TedW at 1:36 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm staying in a La Quinta right now. I wish it was next to a Denny's. It's not next to anything and it's sub zero, I don't have transportation, and there is no room service. Their breakfast waffles were fine the first few days, even a treat (though I did question what kind of bacterial growth the batter supported) but by day three I was waffled out, and nothing else in their breakfast area looked even slightly appetizing.

Help, I'm trapped in a La Quinta and there is no Denny's! Only trees and snow.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 1:48 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm sick of following this thread. I'm just gonna ask where it's going and hook up with it later.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:49 PM on January 8, 2015 [3 favorites]

Help, I'm trapped in a La Quinta and there is no Denny's! Only trees and snow.

Any pizza or other delivery options?
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:49 PM on January 8, 2015

Took me a minute to figure out how he was using Google Image Search to solve this...
posted by I Havent Killed Anybody Since 1984 at 2:28 PM on January 8, 2015 [3 favorites]

Any pizza or other delivery options?

There are. Just being dramatic, because what else is there to do after 6 days in a La Quinta inn?
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:29 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I travelled cross-country staying almost exclusively at La Quinta because they are one of the few consistently pet-friendly hotels. It was terrible.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 2:38 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Am I the only one disappointed that the article was not about Mitch Hedberg using GIS sometime before he died to debunk his own joke and we were only now just finding it?
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:04 PM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]

You might have been the only one, but not anymore.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:11 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm trapped in a La Quinta and there is no Denny's!

A short story probably best described as "Harlan Ellison Lite".
posted by Wolfdog at 3:11 PM on January 8, 2015 [11 favorites]

My wife (whom I sent to Space Camp for her 30th) reports that indeed, that's all there is to Huntsville AL - the Space and Rocket center, La Quintas, Denny'ses, and one other motel, since La Quintas don't have bars.
posted by notsnot at 3:26 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I keep meaning to check out Hedberg. Anyone know a good place to start? Or just randomly hit youtube videos?
posted by nevercalm at 3:28 PM on January 8, 2015

Love the creative use of GIS. It almost makes me want to go back to compulsively updating OSM. Almost. Instead I'll probably keep watching This Old House.

I don't get the ragging on La Quinta. Yeah, a few of the properties are terrible, but they kindly show each one's TripAdvisor rating right on their website, so it's easy to pick out the ones that ought to be skipped. They're consistently pet friendly (the franchisor requires it) and usually reasonably priced. Many to most of them are as nice as any other midrange chain.

Also, isn't there an OSM renderer appliance now?
posted by wierdo at 4:40 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I used to do GIS. I still do, but I used to, too.
posted by wats at 4:58 PM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]

from mefi's own johnjreiser
posted by zachxman at 5:03 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't get the ragging on La Quinta. Many to most of them are as nice as any other midrange chain.
If I had to guess, they're not quite as low quality as budget, but the feel very bear bones. I've stayed in some nicer budget hotels at a slightly lower price. They seem to sneak into the mid-range category of hotels just by the skin of their teeth, so really leave you wanting/expecting more. Maybe it's because they model themselves after nicer hotels, but it's kind of a facade.

Or maybe it's the simple realization that you could have spent $20 more a night for something just a bit nicer, and that disappointment in yourself translates to disappointment in the hotel itself.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 8:05 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

why for the love of god didn't he just use a python library to grok the JSON data? That regular expression gave me hives.

I've gotten used to grabbing text and running with regexps. Years of using in Perl, I guess. JSON parsers are much easier for most.
posted by johnjreiser at 6:26 AM on January 9, 2015

The slogan that the hotel uses (used?) of "La Quinta, Spanish for…" inevitably turns into ragging on them for all the ways they disappoint. (When I last stayed in one, they told us on the phone that they had a pool. They neglected to tell us that it just had a foot of brackish water in it. La Quinta is Spanish for 'Pool's closed.' La Quinta is Spanish for 'disappointment.')

My wife asserts that the funniest I have ever been was when we were discussing the next arrival from a Community-Supported Agriculture group that was having pretty serious organizational and labor problems. She asked "I wonder what's going to be in our next shipment?" I answered "Excuses and disappointment."

This speaks ill of how funny I am most times, I think.
posted by phearlez at 8:54 AM on January 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

I keep meaning to check out Hedberg. Anyone know a good place to start? Or just randomly hit youtube videos?

He had a comedy central presents episode at one point that was pretty excellent.
posted by edbles at 12:58 PM on January 9, 2015

I travelled cross-country staying almost exclusively at La Quinta because they are one of the few consistently pet-friendly hotels. It was terrible.

Maybe it's the low standards of having been a navy brat growing up, but I've stayed in my share of LQ (because, pet friendly!) and they have all been perfectly serviceable.

I'm sure there are better hotels, but few to none of them are as great when travelling with dogs as LQ has been. And, they've all been amazingly clean considering that other people's dogs have been there.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 2:00 PM on January 9, 2015

My roommate said to me, 'I'm gonna go play with GIS and Python; does anyone need to use the computer?' It's like some weird ass quiz where he reveals the answer first.
posted by univac at 12:30 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]