Darth Vaders, a Storm Woopers and a People!
January 8, 2015 12:25 PM   Subscribe

A different Star Wars Kid watches the opening to Episode IV A New Hope for the first time. [SLYT]

Trigger warnings: bespectacled toddler, child with british accent, youngster being allowed screen time.

[via]
posted by sparklemotion (47 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE...oh wait, wrong franchise.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:35 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Skip ahead to 1:50 to get to the spaceships and the goggle-eyed wonder.
posted by RedOrGreen at 12:44 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Darth Vaders, a Storm Woopers and a People!"

Coincidentally, this was actually the first line from the title crawl in George Lucas's original draft of the screenplay.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:45 PM on January 8, 2015 [13 favorites]


YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO READ THAT NARRATIVE SCREEN IN A DEEP DRAMATIC VOICE YOU DUMBASS! BAD DAD!

Christ, you didn't even say "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."

Also, it helps if you have your kid in their Star Wars jammies, popcorn, and something that can be used as a light saber in their hand.

I will give you credit for starting with episode IV, though. The correct order for your kids is IV --> V --> I --> II --> III --> VI. I used to think you could skip I, but Jar Jar is too much of a kid favorite. What can you do?

By the way, this video is unusual or special in precisely no way to anyone who has ceremoniously plunked their kids down for their first Star Wars viewing. This is a rather typical reaction.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:45 PM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


By the way, this video is unusual or special in precisely no way to anyone who has ceremoniously plunked their kids down for their first Star Wars viewing. This is a rather typical reaction.

Having no human children to subject to this experience, I figured it was noteworthy as it was as close as I will ever get. Also the glasses. And the accent. And the storm woopers.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:54 PM on January 8, 2015 [6 favorites]


And this look of total wonder and excitement is exactly why, when the opening theme kicks in, I've trained my kids to start singing:

STAR WARS!
OH I LIKE STAR WARS!
GIVE ME SOME STAR WARS!
GIVE ME SOME MORE!

Yes, in full caps.
posted by plinth at 12:56 PM on January 8, 2015 [16 favorites]


Better reaction than my nine year-old nephew who watched Ep 4 for the first time over the Christmas holiday. He was bored and declared he liked Clone Wars better. Thinking from writing him out of my will.
posted by kariebookish at 12:56 PM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


Magic, it is just magic, love the video, still love those 3 movies so much. Every few years I watch them again and every time I am not disappointed or underwhelmed in any way, they are magic.
posted by Cosine at 12:59 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


The correct order for your kids is IV --> V --> I --> II --> III --> VI

I wish I had known this five or six years ago, when my daughter started watching them. She watched them in numerical order and is only interested in Anakin and Padme.
posted by briank at 1:02 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


The correct order for your kids is IV --> V --> I --> II --> III --> VI

Pshaw! The correct order is IV --> V --> VI --> Wait for J. J. Abrams and hope he doesn't screw it up.

(Yes, I was also sold on Machete order (4-5-2-3-6) but the prequels get worse in my memory over time - I don't care about any of the whiny entitled brats of characters in any of those movies.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:07 PM on January 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


Clone Wars and the new Rebels series WERE really good. I think Rebels in particular does a really good job keeping that Ep IV feel.
posted by nevercalm at 1:09 PM on January 8, 2015


Too.. cute... dying...
posted by brundlefly at 1:11 PM on January 8, 2015


Yeah, no child should be subjected to the horror of Hayden Christensen. They should give those three movies back to Lucas and have him digitally swap in a different actor.
posted by nevercalm at 1:11 PM on January 8, 2015


Yeah, no child should be subjected to the horror of Hayden Christensen.

To be fair, Hayden Christensen should not have been subjected to George Lucas.
posted by flyingfox at 1:13 PM on January 8, 2015 [9 favorites]


To be fair, Hayden Christensen should not have been subjected to George Lucas.

I agree. Christensen is awful in the prequels, but so is Natalie Portman, and I've seen elsewhere that she can actually act.
posted by Gelatin at 1:25 PM on January 8, 2015


I agree. Christensen is awful in the prequels, but so is Natalie Portman, and I've seen elsewhere that she can actually act.

Don't leave us hanging.
posted by srboisvert at 1:36 PM on January 8, 2015


4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3. Anything else is overthinking it.
posted by The Tensor at 1:37 PM on January 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


Better reaction than my nine year-old nephew who watched Ep 4 for the first time over the Christmas holiday. He was bored and declared he liked Clone Wars better. Thinking from writing him out of my will.

Yeah, kids today. I have a teenager who finds Raiders of the Lost Ark tedious. If not for the fact she may someday be overseeing my meds...

And it is weird with all the linked kid's excitement about the Darth Vaders that we cut off about three seconds before the Darth Vaders arrive.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:45 PM on January 8, 2015


(And it tells you about how my youth was misspent that I need not see the screen to know exactly what this kid is seeing at any point.)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:46 PM on January 8, 2015


I don't understand what that box with the faces on it at the foot of the couch is all about.
posted by GamblingBlues at 1:48 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


I too subscribe to the 'machete' version of watching Star Wars...

IV -> V-> Machete -> Machete Kills -> VI.
posted by sexymofo at 1:50 PM on January 8, 2015 [19 favorites]


Having no human children to subject to this experience, I figured it was noteworthy as it was as close as I will ever get. Also the glasses. And the accent. And the storm woopers.

It's not a bad reason for having children actually. I am sure I am not the only father who, holding his son for the first time with tears in his eyes, dreamed of singing to him, taking him to school, showing him how to catch a baseball, and watching motherfucking Star Wars for the first time with him.

4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3. Anything else is overthinking it.

While I see the appeal of ending with Hayden Christensen dissolving into lava, for kids, you gotta finish with Ewoks and fireworks.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:55 PM on January 8, 2015 [6 favorites]


Pshaw! The correct order is IV --> V --> VI --> Wait for J. J. Abrams and hope he doesn't screw it up.

The problem with this -- and you'd be surprised what a serious problem it is, even with quite young kids -- is that they have no idea who that guy on the left is. And they're going to ask, and then you just have to admit the entire charade. Or you can go super hard core and find a videodisc player and wire up some HDMI kludge and . . . Well let's just say that my boys know Han shot first.

But they still prefer Rebels. Because it's better.
posted by The Bellman at 1:55 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


I don't understand what that box with the faces on it at the foot of the couch is all about.

Me too! I kept thinking "Yes, yes, very cute. Now move kid - what the hell is that?!"
posted by billiebee at 2:03 PM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


While I see the appeal of ending with Hayden Christensen dissolving into lava

OOOOO I never thought of that....he's actually getting meta about the whole thing. He was intentionally that incredibly terrible so we'd be even more satisfied to see him lying there, on the ground, his limbs hacked off and on fire. They should've just had him like that the whole time. And I would like the job of setting him on fire every day during filming.
posted by nevercalm at 3:07 PM on January 8, 2015


I was six when the first Star Wars came out, and I can remember my mother driving my little brother and me to see it at the cinema, and her saying to us "Now listen: I don't care how scary this Dark Vader is. I am paying two dollars to get you in, and we are not leaving.

I thought, "I either have the coolest or the worst mother ever."
posted by 4ster at 3:31 PM on January 8, 2015 [7 favorites]


Star Wars was good and all, but it was no The Boatniks.*

In 1977 my parents wanted to take me to a movie. I wanted to see "The Boatniks". They said we were going to see "Star Wars". I had a tantrum. They forced me to see "Star Wars". I never looked back.

I still haven't seen "The Boatniks".

posted by mazola at 3:49 PM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


I'm so happy I discovered Star Wars on my own and wasn't shepherded into it by my parents in front of a video camera.

I was relieved when the actual movie started and he actually liked it for real as opposed to just picking up on his dad's expectations.
posted by Sara C. at 4:34 PM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's incredible to see that all these years later those bits -- bits! -- of one movie still have the same power. That kid's eyes got about as wide as my cat's when he hears the raccoons in the attic.

And God help me, I can recite about ... let's be honest ... 80% of the crawl without having it in front of me.
posted by dhartung at 4:59 PM on January 8, 2015


Is there a term, in German or French, for "the enjoyment of seeing someone else joyfully and innocently experience for the first time something you enjoyed long ago, so that it reminds you of that enjoyment in your bitter, jaded middle age"? Maybe there's something in Flaubert.

And the correct order is IV.
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 6:21 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was disappointed that the video cut out right before Vader comes on screen. His saucer eyes must have gotten REAAALLLLY big! Such a cutie!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 8:15 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


The problem with this -- and you'd be surprised what a serious problem it is, even with quite young kids -- is that they have no idea who that guy on the left is.

Solution
posted by The Tensor at 8:56 PM on January 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


I can't be the only one who was watching the reflections in that kid's glasses ...
posted by mon-ma-tron at 9:16 PM on January 8, 2015 [6 favorites]


My wife and I are expecting our first baby (a boy) in about 7 weeks and I look forward to the day I can share Star Wars with him. I saw each of the six movies in the theater (the first when I was 6 years old in 1977). Now if I can just get my wife to watch them. A few years ago I convinced her to try Episode IV. I explained that Star Wars is a cultural touchstone and if she's going to be culturally literate she needs to see it. She got about 20 min into it and gave up - said it was boring and unrealistic!
posted by kdern at 10:05 PM on January 8, 2015


What is also fun is watching SW with grown-ups who have never seen it. I showed 4-5-6 to my wife and I can still remember the sincere and surprised "NOOOO!" when Vader says "No, I am your father." Good times.
posted by anzen-dai-ichi at 2:43 AM on January 9, 2015


Instead of Star Wars, the two-year in my life asks for "Chewbacca and Chewbacca's Daddy*" when she wants to watch it.

* aka Han Solo
posted by double bubble at 3:36 AM on January 9, 2015 [6 favorites]


It's a bit sad that he's stuck seeing it on a stupid TV in a living room instead of a theater, because without scale, it's just TV.

Mind you, if I were a procreating type, I would reserve my ponderous dream-smearing moment for sitting my little progeny down and showing them The Fifth Element, because it's far more fun. I'm much happier to have nieces that, when they got their learner's permits, showed them to me and said "MOOOLTIPASS!" instead of screaming little assholes hitting me in the thighs with plastic lightsabers.

To say nothing of the pride I have that, when I say to my nephew, "What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? " he immediately responds "My father taught me to kill the sunflower."
posted by sonascope at 6:08 AM on January 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


I thought that Machete (4-5-2-3-6) order was best until I saw the "Double Digit" cut, also sometimes called Episode 3.1. Inspired by the Topher Grace cut which has not been released, it's the first 3 movies edited into 1 film. (And from episode 1 essentially only the final scene is included) It's still available as a torrent if you look.

I'm sure this is the right idea, because episodes 4-5-6 have something episodes 1-2-3 lack: individual stories. IV is the story of the Death Star. V is the coming of age story of Luke's Jedi training. VI is the story of Luke's confrontation with his father and the emperor.

Episodes 1-2-3 do not have individual stories, and seeing them cut into 1 film makes this completely clear. There's only 1 story the viewer cares about: Annakin's developing relationships with Padme and Palpatine and his loss as he turns to the dark side. Nothing else -- the republic politics, major whats-his-name, or the trade federation war -- are at all interesting or important.

Therefore I think the best order is a modified machete order, 4-5-3.1-6.
posted by cotterpin at 6:18 AM on January 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


"They're not coming in here, though."

Fucking Storm Woopers.
posted by allthinky at 6:32 AM on January 9, 2015 [7 favorites]


4, 5, 6, Plinkett, Star Blazers, Hidden Fortress, 633 Squadron, Miyazaki, etc etc etc.

Oh and that Tartakovsky Clone Wars episode with Mace Windu.
posted by whuppy at 7:19 AM on January 9, 2015


Therefore I think the best order is a modified machete order, 4-5-3.1-6.

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter...
posted by RedOrGreen at 10:22 AM on January 9, 2015


Don't leave us hanging.

I'm not her biggest fan, but Portman's fine. She displays some quite good comic timing in Thor 2. In the prequels she was given a terrible character and left hanging by her director. Like everyone else in the cast.
posted by brundlefly at 12:58 PM on January 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


And this look of total wonder and excitement is exactly why, when the opening theme kicks in, I've trained my kids to start singing:

STAR WARS!
OH I LIKE STAR WARS!
GIVE ME SOME STAR WARS!
GIVE ME SOME MORE!

Yes, in full caps.


I've been singing

STAR WARS
THIS SONG'S ABOUT STAR WARS
A SONG ABOUT STAR WARS
THE WARS IN THE STARS

to my little guy since he was about a week old. Also in all caps. Of course.
posted by synecdoche at 7:10 PM on January 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


It's a bit sad that he's stuck seeing it on a stupid TV in a living room instead of a theater, because without scale, it's just TV.

I mean, it's entirely possible that todays toddle are far more jaded and media savvy than I was, but watching Star Wars at about that age, even on a shitty tiny CRT TV and broadcast BBC - it was not just TV. At that age you are blissfully ignorant of things like:

* Lightsabers don't / can't exist
* Space travel will not happen in your lifetime
* Even the friendly aliens are at best unknowable and uncontactable
* The entire universe does not, in fact, revolve around you
* You probably won't be an astronaut, let alone have exciting lightsaber battles
* No one can move things with their mind

Unencumbered by stupid boring useless facts like that, watching Star Wars is inexpressibly great! For all you know you will have a lightsaber fight and get to go in a spaceship in the next few years, it's just that you didn't know about them before, and new incomprehensible stuff happens on a near daily basis at that age, so why wouldn't it? You probably can move/crush stuff with your mind, you just need to try a bit harder!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:14 PM on January 9, 2015


At that age you are blissfully ignorant of things like:

* Lightsabers don't / can't exist


At about 4 minutes into this video, the kid asks his dad whether the Storm Wooper guns can "come in here" (i.e. whether the lasers can hit him by passing through the TV screen). It's pretty adorable and shows a surprising engagement with the fiction.
posted by painquale at 10:32 PM on January 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's pretty adorable and shows a surprising engagement with the fiction.

A relevant post: The Time I Believed Paddington Bear Might Die
posted by brundlefly at 12:52 AM on January 10, 2015


4, 5, 6, Plinkett, Star Blazers, Hidden Fortress, 633 Squadron, Miyazaki, etc etc etc.

Move 633 Squadron before the OT, along with Dambusters and (crucially) the Buster Crabbe Flash Gordon serials.
posted by The Tensor at 11:35 AM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


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