I bet I could move this glass with my mind...
January 9, 2015 9:39 PM Subscribe
Have you ever looked at your Lincoln MKZ? I mean really looked at it?
posted by RakDaddy at 10:09 PM on January 9, 2015
posted by RakDaddy at 10:09 PM on January 9, 2015
I know your mad, matt
But ya got ta git your own.
posted by clavdivs at 10:17 PM on January 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
But ya got ta git your own.
posted by clavdivs at 10:17 PM on January 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
(Desert road, dusk. Gregorian chants play softly)
I imagine, a re-make of Moonraker...but with Lincoln drones.
"Good evening
This is the voice of Enigma
In the next hour
we will take you "
Yea, who would be felix...
(Lighter clicks)
posted by clavdivs at 10:33 PM on January 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
I imagine, a re-make of Moonraker...but with Lincoln drones.
"Good evening
This is the voice of Enigma
In the next hour
we will take you "
Yea, who would be felix...
(Lighter clicks)
posted by clavdivs at 10:33 PM on January 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Have you ever looked at your Lincoln MKZ? I mean really looked at it?
Yeah, it looks almost exactly like my Hyundai Sonata. Except that it cost 4 times as much.
posted by pjern at 10:39 PM on January 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
Yeah, it looks almost exactly like my Hyundai Sonata. Except that it cost 4 times as much.
posted by pjern at 10:39 PM on January 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
I am suspicious of a society that can build better ads than cars.
Just saying.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 10:50 PM on January 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
Just saying.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 10:50 PM on January 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
Why did they hire Sam Elliot for the voiceovers?
posted by humboldt32 at 2:25 AM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by humboldt32 at 2:25 AM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think I preferred the piece on Jalopnik a few months ago, suggesting that Lincoln's brand values would be more honestly represented by McConaughey's dialogue from True Detective.
posted by MarchHare at 2:37 AM on January 10, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by MarchHare at 2:37 AM on January 10, 2015 [3 favorites]
All right all right all right.
posted by ostranenie at 6:29 AM on January 10, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by ostranenie at 6:29 AM on January 10, 2015 [4 favorites]
At some point, Lincoln is going to name their sedans after every three letter acronym tech corp out there. They already did one of mine, and they are on their way to another.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:48 AM on January 10, 2015
posted by clvrmnky at 6:48 AM on January 10, 2015
The precipitous rise of Matthew McConaughey coincided with the precipitous decline in my viewing of contemporary films, so I can say that I honestly do not think I've ever seen anything he's ever been in. (Actually, I take that back: I saw WoWS a couple months ago and do remember him now). So I'm probably lacking sufficient context here. And I am almost certainly not the target consumer here.
But man. There should be some kind of ADHD trigger warning on that piece. I stuck it out, like a marathoner, because my buddies at metafilter were cheering me on with "you can do it! it's worth it for the LOLZ!" and because watching a 5-minute car ad is less of a commitment than watching a 2-hour movie. But it was super squirmy unpleasant and my brain was just screaming at me to close the media player and go DO SOMETHING, like, body, don't you have to go pee? don't you need to get up and get another cup of coffee? maybe you should go sort some laundry?
Uncomfortable, is what it was. And it made me really really not like the Lincoln MKZ.
posted by drlith at 6:58 AM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
But man. There should be some kind of ADHD trigger warning on that piece. I stuck it out, like a marathoner, because my buddies at metafilter were cheering me on with "you can do it! it's worth it for the LOLZ!" and because watching a 5-minute car ad is less of a commitment than watching a 2-hour movie. But it was super squirmy unpleasant and my brain was just screaming at me to close the media player and go DO SOMETHING, like, body, don't you have to go pee? don't you need to get up and get another cup of coffee? maybe you should go sort some laundry?
Uncomfortable, is what it was. And it made me really really not like the Lincoln MKZ.
posted by drlith at 6:58 AM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Late-period capitalism is fucking weird.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:13 AM on January 10, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:13 AM on January 10, 2015 [4 favorites]
As someone who drove a beat-up example of the greatest car ever designed as my daily driver for years, I find these attempts to somehow make mundane transportation appliances look magical to be clumsy and sad. Even satire fails.
posted by sonascope at 7:24 AM on January 10, 2015
posted by sonascope at 7:24 AM on January 10, 2015
...everyone does know this is a spoof, right? An auralnauts version of the real Lincoln ad?
posted by theweasel at 7:58 AM on January 10, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by theweasel at 7:58 AM on January 10, 2015 [7 favorites]
No. No I did not. Now it makes me really really not like auralnauts as well. Whoever TF they are.
posted by drlith at 8:31 AM on January 10, 2015
posted by drlith at 8:31 AM on January 10, 2015
Satire won't fail with the built-in bong/ bowling ball cleaner and custom made bachelor attachment.
posted by clavdivs at 9:19 AM on January 10, 2015
posted by clavdivs at 9:19 AM on January 10, 2015
I like to think they didn't just reuse the same handful of cuts over and over, but that every shot of Matthew McConaughey thoughtfully considering his fingernails or staring out the window was unique and carefully crafted.
(also, it's the car doing the narration)
posted by xedrik at 10:40 AM on January 10, 2015
(also, it's the car doing the narration)
posted by xedrik at 10:40 AM on January 10, 2015
This is a film idea I've got to start working on today.
Matthew McConaughey and Gary Busey are seated separately and alone in adjoining booths in a fancy restaurant, their backs to each other and neither is aware of each others' presence. We then switch back and forth between each others' inner monologue during their meals that occasionally intersects and interacts with each other as if they have moments of telepathy, but neither realizes the other voice is actually another person. Picture the mood and theme to be along the lines of David Lynch meets My Dinner with Andre.
posted by chambers at 10:41 AM on January 10, 2015 [15 favorites]
Matthew McConaughey and Gary Busey are seated separately and alone in adjoining booths in a fancy restaurant, their backs to each other and neither is aware of each others' presence. We then switch back and forth between each others' inner monologue during their meals that occasionally intersects and interacts with each other as if they have moments of telepathy, but neither realizes the other voice is actually another person. Picture the mood and theme to be along the lines of David Lynch meets My Dinner with Andre.
posted by chambers at 10:41 AM on January 10, 2015 [15 favorites]
I second that chambers' idea is awesome but I would like to nominate Jim Jarmusch to direct.
posted by ostranenie at 2:13 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ostranenie at 2:13 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Y'see, I read that as Lincoln MKUltra: Existential Crisis (I haven't had the courage to pick through the debug traces to find out why exactly I made that slip), and so came into it expecting something, well, else. Definitely else.
That it made sense in that context, well.
Well.
posted by Devonian at 2:29 PM on January 10, 2015
That it made sense in that context, well.
Well.
posted by Devonian at 2:29 PM on January 10, 2015
When did Matthew McConaughey start wearing shirts?
posted by Bovine Love at 3:00 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Bovine Love at 3:00 PM on January 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Matt Lincoln haikus!
He drove in the rain
Severed mind whispering spring
Time and Lincoln move
posted by clavdivs at 10:22 PM on January 10, 2015
He drove in the rain
Severed mind whispering spring
Time and Lincoln move
posted by clavdivs at 10:22 PM on January 10, 2015
"At some point, Lincoln is going to name their sedans after every three letter acronym tech corp out there. They already did one of mine, and they are on their way to another."
I'm waiting for the Lincoln SRL, it will have a Korean war era jet engine for a power plant ,legs instead of wheels ,look like it was made out of hammered out oil drums ,and weigh 7000lbs.
posted by boilermonster at 11:56 PM on January 10, 2015
I'm waiting for the Lincoln SRL, it will have a Korean war era jet engine for a power plant ,legs instead of wheels ,look like it was made out of hammered out oil drums ,and weigh 7000lbs.
posted by boilermonster at 11:56 PM on January 10, 2015
theweasel: "...everyone does know this is a spoof, right? An auralnauts version of the real Lincoln ad?"
Thank you. I was wondering why his voice sounded so fucking weird (after a minute or so I switched to another tab, so I was listening, but not watching).
posted by Bugbread at 3:56 PM on January 11, 2015
Thank you. I was wondering why his voice sounded so fucking weird (after a minute or so I switched to another tab, so I was listening, but not watching).
posted by Bugbread at 3:56 PM on January 11, 2015
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"Why did I order this water? There's perfectly good water falling from the sky. All I need to do is walk outside, look up and drink...until my belly is full."
posted by theweasel at 10:05 PM on January 9, 2015 [12 favorites]