Idle vapourings of a mind diseased
January 16, 2015 3:10 AM   Subscribe

Unparliamentary Language in New Zealand

Parliamentary debates can be heated — but there are rules about what members can and can’t say. ‘Unbecoming’ language, insults, and accusations of dishonesty are banned.

Examples of epithets ruled unparliamentary by the Speaker of the House include

"His brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides"

"Idle vapourings of a mind diseased"

"Energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral"


Bonus:
Unparliamentary language in South Africa and Canada
Also an amusing Wikipedia article
posted by Start with Dessert (27 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
India doesn't allow the word Chutzpah* to describe fellow politicians?

Oh, come on.

* Chutzpah - another example of how every yiddish word is imbued with awesomeness.
posted by el io at 3:31 AM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


"His brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides"

Unknown NZ MP of 1949, I salute you.

I haven't been able to find an equivalent list for Australia, but these are related/amusing/interesting: The collected insults of former PM Paul Keating; For the Record.

For the UK: Is it unparliamentary to call someone a 'muttering idiot'?
posted by rory at 3:51 AM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


Then there's this Dennis Skinner MP classic
posted by iotic at 3:56 AM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]


el io: "India doesn't allow the word Chutzpah* to describe fellow politicians?"

My guess would be due to its somewhat-homonym.
posted by vanar sena at 4:01 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


"The honorable member is living proof that a pig's bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament" – the late British MP Tony Banks to his fellow MP Terry Dicks, in the House of Commons
posted by oliverburkeman at 4:38 AM on January 16, 2015


And then there is the classic New Zealand parliamentary broadcast from the one and only Fred Dagg.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 4:59 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


There's some good material in here.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:11 AM on January 16, 2015


His brains could revolve ...

If you shoved his brain up an ant's ass, it would roll around like a BB in Grand Central Station.
posted by Bruce H. at 5:39 AM on January 16, 2015


I haven't been able to find an equivalent list for Australia, but these are related/amusing/interesting: The collected insults of former PM Paul Keating

Keating probably deserves a FPP of his own. I mean, the man was so good he made his victims smile.
posted by Quilford at 6:12 AM on January 16, 2015


I am a country member.
posted by Wolof at 6:16 AM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I remember.

Keating probably deserves a FPP of his own.

Well, he does have his own musical.

On The Floor/I Wanna Do You Slowly
posted by zamboni at 6:47 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


> "His brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides"

Unknown NZ MP of 1949, I salute you.


Hell, yeah, I've added that to my own repertoire.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:01 AM on January 16, 2015


Add a syllable, maybe a "the," to the start of "Idle vapourings of a mind diseased," and it becomes a line of iambic pentameter, as long as you reading "vapourings" as having two syllables. Given the rhythm of it, with two adjective-noun pairs linked by a soft beat, I wonder if it's a quotation or a misquotation from Pope or Dryden or someone like that.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:05 AM on January 16, 2015


as long as you read* "vapourings"
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:12 AM on January 16, 2015


Sorry, no, I reading it.
posted by moonmilk at 7:41 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


It actually seems to be a quotation from Little Journeys to the Homes of English Authors by the writer Elbert Hubbard, in particular a final address to John Milton:
Like another Lear, your daughters shall neither esteem nor respect you, and the lines you dictate shall be to them but the idle vaporings of a mind diseased.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:49 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's buried in a list on the Wikipedia page link in the FPP, but probably the most famous incident of unparliamentary language in Canada involved Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau. Muttering "Fuck off" was not particularly clever, and may not have been that memorable, except that during a non-denial denial to TV reporters afterwards Trudeau characterized his utterance as "Fuddle duddle", and thus the term permanently entered the Canadian lexicon.

The Fuddle duddle incident was brought back to life in 2011 when Trudeau's son, Liberal MP Justin Trudeau, addressed Environment minister Kent as "You piece of shit."
posted by Kabanos at 7:55 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Trudeau's son, Liberal MP Justin Trudeau, addressed Environment minister Kent as "You piece of shit."

I think you'll find he actually said "you peedle sheedle."
posted by yoink at 8:52 AM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


This Irish politician definitely doesn't say fuddle duddle.

This paper comparing insults applied for rhetorical effect in the Swedish and UK parliaments may be of interest.
posted by biffa at 8:59 AM on January 16, 2015


"Merv the Swerve and The Arapawa Goat" sounds like the title of a 1970s down-on-their-luck buddy movie.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:38 AM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Another Canadian gem (though spoken outside of parliament):

"I get sick ... not because of drink [but because] I am forced to listen to the ranting of my honourable opponent."
– During the election of 1863, Sir John A. Macdonald threw up during a campaign speech and when his opponent pointed this out, Macdonald shot back with this answer.
posted by Kabanos at 9:44 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


As a Canadian, I envy the Aussies and the Kiwis - they have some pretty unique, colourful, and essentially playful insults.

Canada is a lot more boring. But fundamentally, what goes on in the House is a bit of pantomime and political theater, a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.

Most voters are put off by it.
posted by Nevin at 9:45 AM on January 16, 2015


It seems wrong that in Canadian parliament, you can't call a lie a lie.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:29 AM on January 16, 2015


But you can say, misled, misleading, dishonest, forges, falsehoods, etc. The Canadian list looked decidedly arbitrary to me.
posted by Gor-ella at 10:44 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


This Irish politician definitely doesn't say fuddle duddle

The funny thing is, the language he used wasn't technically unparliamentary. It's the one phrase that the parliament will tolerate, but not Metafilter.
posted by rollick at 11:31 AM on January 16, 2015


Another Canadian gem

Oooh, can't forget...

John Crosbie: "I didn't take the fish from the goddamn water." (2:00)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:39 PM on January 16, 2015


As a Canadian, I envy the Aussies and the Kiwis - they have some pretty unique, colourful, and essentially playful insults.

There was the time MP Darrell Stinson said "Do you have the fortitude or the gonads to stand up and come across here and say that to me, you son of a bitch?"

Huh. Gonads? So yeah, we got nothin'.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:46 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


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