MORTDECAI IS COMING
January 16, 2015 1:49 PM Subscribe
Mortdecai is Johnny Depp playing Jude Law.
posted by hippybear at 1:55 PM on January 16, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 1:55 PM on January 16, 2015 [16 favorites]
To answer the question: another one of Johnny Depp's many cinematic outings to remind us just how dang quirky and unique an actor he is.
posted by Kitteh at 1:55 PM on January 16, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 1:55 PM on January 16, 2015 [14 favorites]
I'm sorry, we were looking for:
"The latest thing that is making us miss Peter Sellers."
But thank you for playing.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:58 PM on January 16, 2015 [50 favorites]
"The latest thing that is making us miss Peter Sellers."
But thank you for playing.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:58 PM on January 16, 2015 [50 favorites]
It means Wes Anderson's style is now considered financially successful enough to knock off (badly).
posted by leotrotsky at 1:58 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 1:58 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
This is great, because I've been wondering what The Grand Budapest Hotel would be like if it was a piece of shit
posted by theodolite at 1:59 PM on January 16, 2015 [100 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 1:59 PM on January 16, 2015 [100 favorites]
I meant the above as a correction to the article, not realizing it looks like I was addressing Kitteh.
Now I am so embarassed I want to have a fake moustache and hide away in a January-released film where no one will see me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:59 PM on January 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
Now I am so embarassed I want to have a fake moustache and hide away in a January-released film where no one will see me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:59 PM on January 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
Looks like some Pink Panther shit.
posted by Renoroc at 2:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Renoroc at 2:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
Still waiting on the sequel to "The Ninth Gate"
posted by sammyo at 2:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 2:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [10 favorites]
...Mortdecai and his manservant Jock Strapp...
Umm, why not Jacque?
posted by ian1977 at 2:01 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Umm, why not Jacque?
posted by ian1977 at 2:01 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
If we take initiative and work hard to seek additional information, we can learn more about Mortdecai, but the purpose of an ad campaign is to give people information without forcing them to take initiative.
The purpose of some ad campaigns is to get people to do exactly what you just did, you easily duped numpty.
posted by Shepherd at 2:01 PM on January 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
The purpose of some ad campaigns is to get people to do exactly what you just did, you easily duped numpty.
posted by Shepherd at 2:01 PM on January 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
The first thing I thought of when seeing the trailer for this is Depp's role in Tusk. So his new thing is bad hammy accents?
posted by ian1977 at 2:03 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by ian1977 at 2:03 PM on January 16, 2015
It appears to be a mass market movie that is not part of an existing franchise. Don't panic, you won't see many more of those.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:05 PM on January 16, 2015 [24 favorites]
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:05 PM on January 16, 2015 [24 favorites]
This article is a masterpiece of advertising for this movie. It also has every other piece of advertising for the movie including the ones that have been removed because they were over the line.
Bravo
posted by doctoryes at 2:08 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
Bravo
posted by doctoryes at 2:08 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
*picks up phone on silver tray from inside a marble bathtub filled with scented oils* "if this is anyone other than Bertie Wooster you're stealing my bit!"
posted by The Whelk at 2:08 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 2:08 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
Heaters gonna hate. I for one am looking forward to this; even if it is a pretty blatant Wes Anderson copy. Well, Wes Anderson meets the Pink Panther, as said above.
(I am expecting it to disappoint, but I so hope not.)
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:08 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
(I am expecting it to disappoint, but I so hope not.)
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:08 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
I didn't think this looked all that great based on the trailer. But it is interesting to see how they are (badly, imho) marketing it via social media.
posted by Catblack at 2:11 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Catblack at 2:11 PM on January 16, 2015
(Also, the intersection of Wes Anderson and Peter Sellers-eques moron-as-accidental genus makes me full of happy. Please be good.)
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Can't Johnny Depp play a relatable character? I guess not, he's worth like $150 M and has Michael Jackson's skeleton on display in his living room.
posted by Mister_A at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Mister_A at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
I was totally uncharmed, and then they had a really long joke about squeezing breasts in the trailer and I was even more unenthusiastic!
posted by ChuraChura at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [10 favorites]
Can't Johnny Depp play a relatable character?
He was pretty good in Finding Neverland.
posted by hippybear at 2:13 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
He was pretty good in Finding Neverland.
posted by hippybear at 2:13 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
johnny depp go away you are a ruiner of things now
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:15 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:15 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
GABBO IS COMING
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:15 PM on January 16, 2015 [41 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:15 PM on January 16, 2015 [41 favorites]
I've been looking for an occasion to use the word nadir, and this seems as good as any.
posted by DrAstroZoom at 2:16 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by DrAstroZoom at 2:16 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
Can't Johnny Depp play a relatable character?
Hunter Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?
posted by kuanes at 2:16 PM on January 16, 2015 [14 favorites]
Hunter Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?
posted by kuanes at 2:16 PM on January 16, 2015 [14 favorites]
Everyone, please stop listing Johnny Depp films from the Nixon administration.
posted by Mister_A at 2:17 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Mister_A at 2:17 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
johnny depp go away you are a ruiner of things now
Johnny Depp Now Completely Made of Scarves and Bracelets
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:18 PM on January 16, 2015 [15 favorites]
Johnny Depp Now Completely Made of Scarves and Bracelets
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:18 PM on January 16, 2015 [15 favorites]
That article, on the other hand, was really, truly bad. Transparent as the day is long "I've never seen advertising like this!" So you've never seen advertising? Try harder, shill.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:19 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:19 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
On the real tip, the last thing I actually liked him in was Dead Man.
posted by Mister_A at 2:19 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Mister_A at 2:19 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
This article is obviously just a promotion to stir up curiosity. Mordecai Blue, have you. ::sniffs::
posted by Atreides at 2:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Atreides at 2:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have always had a deep and unexplained loathing of Johnny Depp. This is doing nothing to change that.
posted by jonmc at 2:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 2:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
The satire of the Simpsons' "Gabbo!" ad campaign remains as cutting as ever.
posted by Bromius at 2:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Bromius at 2:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Did I miss the memo? I had no idea we hated Johnny Depp now. Someone left me off that email chain.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
[I don't hate Johnny Depp. I just don't like a lot of movies lately.]
In 2033, 20th Century Fox, in a desperate attempt to copy the still popular Marvel Cinematic Universe and have a successful movie universe of their own, will start releasing live action versions of The Simpsons.
In 2036, a 70 year old Johnny Depp will star as Arthur Crandall and all of these Gabbo jokes will seem very precognitive.
His accent will still be weirdly off.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:26 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
In 2033, 20th Century Fox, in a desperate attempt to copy the still popular Marvel Cinematic Universe and have a successful movie universe of their own, will start releasing live action versions of The Simpsons.
In 2036, a 70 year old Johnny Depp will star as Arthur Crandall and all of these Gabbo jokes will seem very precognitive.
His accent will still be weirdly off.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:26 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
Call of Cthulhu movie where Cthulhu is a beautiful horse who teaches a young girl how to believe in herself.
omgomgomgomg. yes!
posted by ian1977 at 2:27 PM on January 16, 2015 [20 favorites]
omgomgomgomg. yes!
posted by ian1977 at 2:27 PM on January 16, 2015 [20 favorites]
Did I miss the memo? I had no idea we hated Johnny Depp now. Someone left me off that email chain.
No, we're just tired of his shtick of making Tim Burton movies regardless of whether Tim Burton is physically present.
posted by Etrigan at 2:27 PM on January 16, 2015 [24 favorites]
No, we're just tired of his shtick of making Tim Burton movies regardless of whether Tim Burton is physically present.
posted by Etrigan at 2:27 PM on January 16, 2015 [24 favorites]
I think it all went south for Depp when Hunter S. Thompson died, and he adopted Tim Burton as a replacement mentor.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:29 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:29 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Every time I see an ad for this movie, I keep having flashbacks to the ads for Dana Carvey's The Master of Disguise for some reason. Probably because they both shout "career killer".
posted by Thorzdad at 2:30 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 2:30 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
gregnog you have your choice between this and this...
...oh and this...
edit: this one is my favorite.
posted by ian1977 at 2:33 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
...oh and this...
edit: this one is my favorite.
posted by ian1977 at 2:33 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
It would be like someone making a Call of Cthulhu movie where Cthulhu is a beautiful horse who teaches a young girl how to believe in herself.
Optioned. Owen Wilson and Lupita Nyong'o to star. (No Oscar.)
posted by The Bellman at 2:37 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
Optioned. Owen Wilson and Lupita Nyong'o to star. (No Oscar.)
posted by The Bellman at 2:37 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
It will probably be the first release by metastream, mefi's new streaming service due out in 2025. All 23 episodes will come out at once. All sections of mefi will become solely dedicated to fleshing out the horsey-cthulu universe.
posted by ian1977 at 2:40 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ian1977 at 2:40 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh Cthulhu, Brad said he would take me to the cotillion, but he went with Sandy Beech instead! What ever shall I do?
Oh honey, there there. I will infest his dreams with ravening terrors, and then consume his soul. Then we'll get you some new chaps!
posted by Mister_A at 2:41 PM on January 16, 2015 [18 favorites]
Oh honey, there there. I will infest his dreams with ravening terrors, and then consume his soul. Then we'll get you some new chaps!
posted by Mister_A at 2:41 PM on January 16, 2015 [18 favorites]
Gwyneth's quote:
"In this one, [Johnny Depp] plays this super-British aristocrat who's grown — his wife, who's played by me, goes away to visit a friend, and comes back, and he's grown this giant mustache. And they sort of — at the center of the movie is this kind of fight about this mustache, but really, it's like, also an art-heist adventure, kind of romance. It's really fun!"
Translation:
"I was only on the set for like 4 days."
posted by valkane at 2:42 PM on January 16, 2015 [27 favorites]
"In this one, [Johnny Depp] plays this super-British aristocrat who's grown — his wife, who's played by me, goes away to visit a friend, and comes back, and he's grown this giant mustache. And they sort of — at the center of the movie is this kind of fight about this mustache, but really, it's like, also an art-heist adventure, kind of romance. It's really fun!"
Translation:
"I was only on the set for like 4 days."
posted by valkane at 2:42 PM on January 16, 2015 [27 favorites]
Deppsi Blue.
posted by lkc at 2:43 PM on January 16, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by lkc at 2:43 PM on January 16, 2015 [18 favorites]
I haven't actually seen the movie yet and wouldn't be surprised if they manage to screw it up, but I was amused and heartened by the idea of Johnny Depp as the Wolf in the most recent Into the Woods. A role that shows up early in the play, has one glorious, hammy scene, and then is never seen again? Thank you, I believe that is a good sub-toxic level of Depp.
posted by jackbishop at 2:43 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jackbishop at 2:43 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
It would be like someone making a Call of Cthulhu movie where Cthulhu is a beautiful horse who teaches a young girl how to believe in herself.
I got this same sense from the Paddington commercials. And Cloudy with a chance of meatballs . It's so weird how Hollywood seems to want to produce original stories, and they do; they're just scared shitless to not slap the the title of an existing book on it. If you're going to adapt a book, adapt the book. If you don't want to tell the story that's in that book, then don't! They have zero faith in the public to go see something unfamiliar.
See also the technique of putting the entire plot and all the funny bits in every commercial. Hollywood is so scared of people not wanting to see something they don't already know the plot of. If they would make better movies we would be more reliable customers. If they didn't give away the entire thing in the commercial we would pay for their product. Take a chill pill Hollywood.
posted by bleep at 2:44 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
I got this same sense from the Paddington commercials. And Cloudy with a chance of meatballs . It's so weird how Hollywood seems to want to produce original stories, and they do; they're just scared shitless to not slap the the title of an existing book on it. If you're going to adapt a book, adapt the book. If you don't want to tell the story that's in that book, then don't! They have zero faith in the public to go see something unfamiliar.
See also the technique of putting the entire plot and all the funny bits in every commercial. Hollywood is so scared of people not wanting to see something they don't already know the plot of. If they would make better movies we would be more reliable customers. If they didn't give away the entire thing in the commercial we would pay for their product. Take a chill pill Hollywood.
posted by bleep at 2:44 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
but the purpose of an ad campaign is to give people information without forcing them to take initiative.
what? call-to-action is like advertising 101, you twit.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:47 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
what? call-to-action is like advertising 101, you twit.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:47 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
It will have to be a musical....with hopeful, wistful numbers like "Cthulu waits dreaming, why can't I?" and bouncy jaunts like "The Dunwich Horror Dun Galloped Off"
posted by ian1977 at 2:47 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by ian1977 at 2:47 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
Also I believe Johnny Depp is in the "attractive people bubble" described in 30 Rock. He's handsome and been in a lot of movies so they keep putting him in movies. But if you look closely he's not really ever acting; in fact in a lot of movies he doesn't have that much to do, his lines just float out of an empty grin.
posted by bleep at 2:48 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by bleep at 2:48 PM on January 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
Still waiting on the sequel to "The Ninth Gate"
There can be no sequel to "The Ninth Gate". That is the point of "The Ninth Gate".
posted by tigrrrlily at 2:49 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
There can be no sequel to "The Ninth Gate". That is the point of "The Ninth Gate".
posted by tigrrrlily at 2:49 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
I can't help but like Johnny Depp, he seems like a decent enough guy. And he is normally pretty amusing to watch even in a crap movie. But then again maybe he is a raging wad and I've been duped.
posted by ian1977 at 2:50 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by ian1977 at 2:50 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
If we have the technology to make like six million sequels to a game called "Final Fantasy," I am confident that there can, in fact, be a Tenth Gate.
Final Destination 6: Are We There Yet?
posted by The Bellman at 3:07 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
Final Destination 6: Are We There Yet?
posted by The Bellman at 3:07 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
"It is better to be talked about..."
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:07 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:07 PM on January 16, 2015
It's really fun!
I have learned from bitter experience that when actors doing promo appearances talk about how much fun they had making a movie, it means that it is dismal.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:09 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
I have learned from bitter experience that when actors doing promo appearances talk about how much fun they had making a movie, it means that it is dismal.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:09 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
The first book, Don't Point That Thing At Me, is a pretty fun little romp! I read it at around the same time I was going through a big Wodehouse period, and it's a fun little parallel universe where Wooster, rather than being a fop, is an irredeemable piece of shit, and Jeeves is a hulking psychopath. I liked it a lot!
Huh. I somehow had no idea that this was that - like everyone else I assumed "bad Wes Anderson ripoff".
It might still be that, I guess. I can't really see this ending well.
posted by Artw at 3:11 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Huh. I somehow had no idea that this was that - like everyone else I assumed "bad Wes Anderson ripoff".
It might still be that, I guess. I can't really see this ending well.
posted by Artw at 3:11 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Keopp is involved and he doesn't usually get mixed up in outright bad movies but there's always the first time.
posted by The Whelk at 3:15 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by The Whelk at 3:15 PM on January 16, 2015
There can be no sequel to "The Ninth Gate". That is the point of "The Ninth Gate".
"Hello? Roman? Guess what? They've optioned a sequel to The Ninth Gate! This one takes place in foggy, witch-haunted New England, so we'll just need you to hop on a pl-"
"I am not falling for this one again, Agent Spender."
"Dangit."
"Indeed."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:25 PM on January 16, 2015 [8 favorites]
"Hello? Roman? Guess what? They've optioned a sequel to The Ninth Gate! This one takes place in foggy, witch-haunted New England, so we'll just need you to hop on a pl-"
"I am not falling for this one again, Agent Spender."
"Dangit."
"Indeed."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:25 PM on January 16, 2015 [8 favorites]
Look, I have no intention of ever seeing this movie, but can someone please explain why it's Mortdecai and not Mordecai? This has been bothering me since I saw the first poster for this piece of shit.
posted by Sara C. at 3:34 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Sara C. at 3:34 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
I could spend the rest of my life watching Johnny Depp gurning. And probably will, because that seems to he his career goal.
posted by maxsparber at 3:34 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by maxsparber at 3:34 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mort means death.
posted by maxsparber at 3:35 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by maxsparber at 3:35 PM on January 16, 2015
Meaning and name origin
Mordecai \m(o)-rde-cai, mor-decai\ as a boy's name is of Hebrew origin, and the meaning of Mordecai is "little man". Also possibly "follower of Marduk, a god of the Babylonians". Biblical name. In the Talmud, the name is of Aramaic origin, from "mara dachya" meaning "pure myrrh", the aromatic resin which was used in incense.
Mordecai has 4 variant forms: Mordechai, Mordy, Mort and Mortdecai.
posted by The Whelk at 3:37 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Mordecai \m(o)-rde-cai, mor-decai\ as a boy's name is of Hebrew origin, and the meaning of Mordecai is "little man". Also possibly "follower of Marduk, a god of the Babylonians". Biblical name. In the Talmud, the name is of Aramaic origin, from "mara dachya" meaning "pure myrrh", the aromatic resin which was used in incense.
Mordecai has 4 variant forms: Mordechai, Mordy, Mort and Mortdecai.
posted by The Whelk at 3:37 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
I keep having flashbacks to the ads for Dana Carvey's The Master of Disguise for some reason. Probably because they both shout "career killer".
What are you talking about? Dana Carvey played a Master of Disguise named Pistachio Disguisey. That's can't miss comedy gold right there.
posted by Naberius at 3:48 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
What are you talking about? Dana Carvey played a Master of Disguise named Pistachio Disguisey. That's can't miss comedy gold right there.
posted by Naberius at 3:48 PM on January 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
I honestly don't see any similarities between this and Wes Anderson's movies. I guess when I thought I started to "get" Wes Anderson, I still wasn't really getting it.
posted by dogwalker at 3:53 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by dogwalker at 3:53 PM on January 16, 2015
Fingers crossed Depp's Mortdecai goes up against Walken's The Continental.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:57 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:57 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Did I miss the memo? I had no idea we hated Johnny Depp now. Someone left me off that email chain.
Johnny Depp ++UNGOOD. We have always hated Johnny Depp.
posted by ennui.bz at 4:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
Johnny Depp ++UNGOOD. We have always hated Johnny Depp.
posted by ennui.bz at 4:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
So Johnny Depp is playing Mordecai the blue jay in a live-action version of The Regular Show. Who's Rigby?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:02 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:02 PM on January 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
Mort means death.Ah, now we know why the "t" is in there.
And "-decai" is clearly a thinly-veiled "decay".
So death and decay then, title solved.
posted by ArmandoAkimbo at 4:09 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
But like what does this have to do with death/decay? It seems like the jolliest most chipper bullshit ever?
posted by Sara C. at 4:15 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sara C. at 4:15 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
I've read the first two books - Bonfiglioli is no Wodehouse. The first one, Don't Point that Thing at Me reminded me of Waugh or Amis in a farcical mood, something like Black Mischief. The other one, Something Nasty in the Woodshed was basically lol rape. It was pretty bad.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
But like what does this have to do with death/decay? It seems like the jolliest most chipper bullshit ever?
posted by Sara C. at 12:15 AM on January 17
Perhaps at the end it's revealed that he's an animatronic corpse. That we're all animatronic corpses
posted by dng at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Sara C. at 12:15 AM on January 17
Perhaps at the end it's revealed that he's an animatronic corpse. That we're all animatronic corpses
posted by dng at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
Here is what I guessed from seeing the Depp - Mortdecai poster on the side of a bus this morning and having no other knowledge of this film: if you like Depp doing ropey accents and mugging for laughs then watch this. Otherwise, don't bother.
posted by biffa at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by biffa at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
That we're all animatronic corpses
We are all organic computers trapped in bone jars driving meat robots.
posted by hippybear at 4:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [13 favorites]
We are all organic computers trapped in bone jars driving meat robots.
posted by hippybear at 4:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [13 favorites]
Johnny Depp has (in my opinion) not made a bad movie. Please don't let this be the first...
posted by Snowflake at 4:34 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Snowflake at 4:34 PM on January 16, 2015
Gwyneth's quote:
"In this one, [Johnny Depp] plays this super-British aristocrat who's grown — his wife, who's played by me, goes away to visit a friend, and comes back, and he's grown this giant mustache. And they sort of — at the center of the movie is this kind of fight about this mustache, but really, it's like, also an art-heist adventure, kind of romance. It's really fun!"
So...Sherlock series 3?
posted by vitabellosi at 5:18 PM on January 16, 2015
"In this one, [Johnny Depp] plays this super-British aristocrat who's grown — his wife, who's played by me, goes away to visit a friend, and comes back, and he's grown this giant mustache. And they sort of — at the center of the movie is this kind of fight about this mustache, but really, it's like, also an art-heist adventure, kind of romance. It's really fun!"
So...Sherlock series 3?
posted by vitabellosi at 5:18 PM on January 16, 2015
For the uninitiated, here's a New Yorker piece on Kyril Mordecai, author of the books from this movie is taken. Also one from the Independent.
Honestly, between the miscasting of Mr Depp and the casting of Ms Paltrow at all, the prospect of this film pains me as much as the Cat in the Hat movie.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:29 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
Honestly, between the miscasting of Mr Depp and the casting of Ms Paltrow at all, the prospect of this film pains me as much as the Cat in the Hat movie.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:29 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
That's the article that tricked me into reading the books.
posted by betweenthebars at 5:38 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by betweenthebars at 5:38 PM on January 16, 2015
Heaters gonna hate.
CLANG
CLANG
CLANKITYCLANKITYCLANKITYCLANKITY
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
posted by Sheep Who Must Not Be Named at 5:43 PM on January 16, 2015 [12 favorites]
CLANG
CLANG
CLANKITYCLANKITYCLANKITYCLANKITY
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
posted by Sheep Who Must Not Be Named at 5:43 PM on January 16, 2015 [12 favorites]
AKA the movie where people realized that Johnny Depp CAN age, after all.
It still weirds me out to see Hollywood acting like Olivia Munn is an actual Thing. I still think of her as that girl from Attack of the Show who kept not being Sarah Lane. (Maybe that sounds mean, but Munn always struck me as kind of a dick.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:45 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
It still weirds me out to see Hollywood acting like Olivia Munn is an actual Thing. I still think of her as that girl from Attack of the Show who kept not being Sarah Lane. (Maybe that sounds mean, but Munn always struck me as kind of a dick.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:45 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Did I miss the memo? I had no idea we hated Johnny Depp now. Someone left me off that email chain.
It's nice to know at least one person has been spared the horrors of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:49 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
It's nice to know at least one person has been spared the horrors of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:49 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
The audiobook for Don't Point That Thing at Me is wonderful. Probably because Simon Prebble is actually British.
Charlie Mortdecai is a short chubby aging ruthless bastard. Johanna, who is not his wife in the first book, is a young smoulderingly sexy Austrian lady. When I came across the trailer in late December on IMDB, I was utterly shocked and horrified. And then I watched it.
There is no brain bleach strong enough, nor unicorn chaser, or giant robot that can ever make me not want to thrash whoever committed this sin. Whatever else you do on this earth, you will have to answer for this someday! [insert fist waving here]
(Seriously, Ewan McGregor could have played Charlie. He'd have done it acceptably well even if he is too young and thin. Depp could have done a lovely small character piece as Martland, because he's got the right kind of crazy.)
posted by monopas at 5:52 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Charlie Mortdecai is a short chubby aging ruthless bastard. Johanna, who is not his wife in the first book, is a young smoulderingly sexy Austrian lady. When I came across the trailer in late December on IMDB, I was utterly shocked and horrified. And then I watched it.
There is no brain bleach strong enough, nor unicorn chaser, or giant robot that can ever make me not want to thrash whoever committed this sin. Whatever else you do on this earth, you will have to answer for this someday! [insert fist waving here]
(Seriously, Ewan McGregor could have played Charlie. He'd have done it acceptably well even if he is too young and thin. Depp could have done a lovely small character piece as Martland, because he's got the right kind of crazy.)
posted by monopas at 5:52 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: we are all organic computers...eh fuck it
posted by kokaku at 5:57 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by kokaku at 5:57 PM on January 16, 2015
What this has in common with Wes Anderson: it's about the foppish upper class who have to realize how absolutely silly they are - but do they?
posted by idiopath at 5:57 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by idiopath at 5:57 PM on January 16, 2015
I didn't know it was a book so I just thought someone had made a movie around the handlebar mustache trend
posted by ghostbikes at 6:06 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ghostbikes at 6:06 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
In order, "Don't Shoot That Thing at Me" is approximately a crime farce, "After You With the Pistol" is a less successful James-Bondish sex farce, "Something Nasty in the Woodshed" is sadly about as described as above, a much darker "lol rape" crime thing that keeps turning into outright horror at moments.
The best sequel to the first book is actually "All the Tea in China," about Mortdecai's abominable ancestor.
To my mind, any of them is unfilmable as a watchable movie. They were screwed before production began, they've only made the hole deeper.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 6:45 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
The best sequel to the first book is actually "All the Tea in China," about Mortdecai's abominable ancestor.
To my mind, any of them is unfilmable as a watchable movie. They were screwed before production began, they've only made the hole deeper.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 6:45 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
I didn't know it was a book so I just thought someone had made a movie around the handlebar mustache trend
*pitches Greg Norton biopic*
posted by Sys Rq at 7:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
*pitches Greg Norton biopic*
posted by Sys Rq at 7:00 PM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
MORT TA GUY!
posted by clavdivs at 7:02 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 7:02 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mister_A: "Everyone, please stop listing Johnny Depp films from the Nixon administration."
You're not my supervisor!
Nick of Time!
posted by RobotHero at 7:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
You're not my supervisor!
Nick of Time!
posted by RobotHero at 7:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
The best sequel to the first book is actually "All the Tea in China," about Mortdecai's abominable ancestor.
That book! I hated it so much and a dear friend had sent it to me as a gift and I was never so relieved as when she told me she'd sent it without reading it because she thought it it was a rolicking yarn from the description...
On topic: I just saw an ad for the movie and it was the most deeply unfunny thing I have ever seen. I just thought it was one of those things they were dumping in January to hide its shame. I never imagined someone would actively try and promote something with so many unhiliarious scenes.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 10:10 PM on January 16, 2015
That book! I hated it so much and a dear friend had sent it to me as a gift and I was never so relieved as when she told me she'd sent it without reading it because she thought it it was a rolicking yarn from the description...
On topic: I just saw an ad for the movie and it was the most deeply unfunny thing I have ever seen. I just thought it was one of those things they were dumping in January to hide its shame. I never imagined someone would actively try and promote something with so many unhiliarious scenes.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 10:10 PM on January 16, 2015
Methinks Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer has grounds to sue....
posted by Sintram at 10:12 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Sintram at 10:12 PM on January 16, 2015
It would be like someone making a Call of Cthulhu movie where Cthulhu is a beautiful horse who teaches a young girl how to believe in herself.
LOL, this is gold. Greg Nog, you owe me a keyboard.
posted by zardoz at 10:56 PM on January 16, 2015
LOL, this is gold. Greg Nog, you owe me a keyboard.
posted by zardoz at 10:56 PM on January 16, 2015
*pitches Greg Norton biopic*
Aw, nobody ever talks about Greg Norton. Sad discussion picking over Johnny Depp's weird career choices redeemed! He's still rocking the mustache last I heard (in other news, Bob Mould is a dick, nobody is surprised to discover).
posted by nanojath at 10:59 PM on January 16, 2015
Aw, nobody ever talks about Greg Norton. Sad discussion picking over Johnny Depp's weird career choices redeemed! He's still rocking the mustache last I heard (in other news, Bob Mould is a dick, nobody is surprised to discover).
posted by nanojath at 10:59 PM on January 16, 2015
recommend you stop after the first book.
Way ahead of you on that, I'm not even starting.
posted by Segundus at 11:28 PM on January 16, 2015
Way ahead of you on that, I'm not even starting.
posted by Segundus at 11:28 PM on January 16, 2015
It would be like someone making a Call of Cthulhu movie where Cthulhu is a beautiful horse who teaches a young girl how to believe in herself.
An adaptation of this wouldn't be exactly what you're looking for, but it would be in the neighborhood...
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 11:53 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
An adaptation of this wouldn't be exactly what you're looking for, but it would be in the neighborhood...
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 11:53 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
(I am expecting it to disappoint, but I so hope not.)
Back when I was a freelancer, I had a gig reviewing movies for I dunno I guess like 4-5 years. I watched literally every movie released on the big screen in that time, and let me tell you - between late January and Easter is THE WORST time for movies of the year. Ugh, I used to dread the post-holiday season for reviewing because it meant literally months of nothing but the shittiest shitty shit that ever got shat, every year.
If you were lucky, you might get a late entry into the oscars, though the missing the Golden Globes usually puts a stop to that. Otherwise, January is for shit the studios know won't make any money - cause no one goes to the movies in late Jan, Feb, and not much into March, either.
Urgh, I shudder just thinking about it. Also, for the person that said Depp hasn't made a bad movie: I defy anyone to say The Astronaut's Wife or Secret Window are good.
posted by smoke at 2:04 AM on January 17, 2015
Back when I was a freelancer, I had a gig reviewing movies for I dunno I guess like 4-5 years. I watched literally every movie released on the big screen in that time, and let me tell you - between late January and Easter is THE WORST time for movies of the year. Ugh, I used to dread the post-holiday season for reviewing because it meant literally months of nothing but the shittiest shitty shit that ever got shat, every year.
If you were lucky, you might get a late entry into the oscars, though the missing the Golden Globes usually puts a stop to that. Otherwise, January is for shit the studios know won't make any money - cause no one goes to the movies in late Jan, Feb, and not much into March, either.
Urgh, I shudder just thinking about it. Also, for the person that said Depp hasn't made a bad movie: I defy anyone to say The Astronaut's Wife or Secret Window are good.
posted by smoke at 2:04 AM on January 17, 2015
In Britain January to March is when they show all the proper films that might win awards and that, presumably due to the free advertising being announced on all the shortlists gives you.
posted by dng at 2:35 AM on January 17, 2015
posted by dng at 2:35 AM on January 17, 2015
Johnny Depp's greatest moment was visiting a UK primary school as Captain Jack Sparrow after he received a letter from a student who needed advice on how to stage a mutiny against her teachers.
I think his better work is when he's ridiculous. He reminds me of Buster Keaton and Chaplin in that way.
posted by kinetic at 5:30 AM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think his better work is when he's ridiculous. He reminds me of Buster Keaton and Chaplin in that way.
posted by kinetic at 5:30 AM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've only seen the ad for this movie with the TV volume muted, but barely paid attention because a.) a longstanding policy to avoid any movies released between now and March and b.) because Depp, despite being a source of delight and amusement has long since worn out his welcome. My wife just dismissed the movie because Goop is in it but her hatred of Goop knows no bounds.
I once had a fond wish that someone would cast Depp and Robert Downey Jr. in a film but that was a while ago. RDJ can still be riveting in the right role but Depp, man he's gone so far into caricature instead of character I don't think there's any turning back. What a pity.
[checked Amazon - Mortdecai trilogy out of print, well it's off to the dark places of the Internet for me]
posted by Ber at 6:47 AM on January 17, 2015
I once had a fond wish that someone would cast Depp and Robert Downey Jr. in a film but that was a while ago. RDJ can still be riveting in the right role but Depp, man he's gone so far into caricature instead of character I don't think there's any turning back. What a pity.
[checked Amazon - Mortdecai trilogy out of print, well it's off to the dark places of the Internet for me]
posted by Ber at 6:47 AM on January 17, 2015
Nobody ever talks about Nog Norton either.
posted by Etrigan at 8:07 AM on January 17, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 8:07 AM on January 17, 2015 [13 favorites]
The cape and kilt budget on the Greg Nog biopic is outrageous
posted by The Whelk at 9:12 AM on January 17, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:12 AM on January 17, 2015 [6 favorites]
While we're at it, what is Burn Notice?
posted by Thomas Tallis is my Homeboy at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2015
posted by Thomas Tallis is my Homeboy at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2015
Also, for the person that said Depp hasn't made a bad movie: I defy anyone to say The Astronaut's Wife or Secret Window are good.
I also thought his role in Tusk was ... not good.
posted by SpacemanStix at 12:11 PM on January 17, 2015
I also thought his role in Tusk was ... not good.
posted by SpacemanStix at 12:11 PM on January 17, 2015
Mortdecai is directed by David Koepp, who also directed Secret Window.
posted by bstreep at 12:51 PM on January 17, 2015
posted by bstreep at 12:51 PM on January 17, 2015
First the I did was CTRL+F "Gabbo" on the thread.
Thanks for being y'all, y'all!
posted by elr at 12:58 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Thanks for being y'all, y'all!
posted by elr at 12:58 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
What about Dark Shadows in the "Depp hasn't made a bad movie" thing? That movie was wretched.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 2:27 PM on January 17, 2015
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 2:27 PM on January 17, 2015
Depp hasn't made a bad good movie since Sleepy Hollow. And...even then.
His "Mad Hatter" in Alice in Wonderland was the Maraschino turd on top of the worst Alice adaptation ever. EVER.
posted by the sobsister at 3:34 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
His "Mad Hatter" in Alice in Wonderland was the Maraschino turd on top of the worst Alice adaptation ever. EVER.
posted by the sobsister at 3:34 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think I've figured it out!
For the last decade, Johnny Depp has been suffering from Jim Carrey Disease.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:56 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
For the last decade, Johnny Depp has been suffering from Jim Carrey Disease.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:56 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Thanks to Tom & Lorenzo, all I can think when I see Johnny Depp these days is 'Oh, it's the elderly gay wind chime again.'
posted by pseudonymph at 7:27 PM on January 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by pseudonymph at 7:27 PM on January 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
I watched literally every movie released on the big screen in that time, and let me tell you - between late January and Easter is THE WORST time for movies of the year.
Hence Red Letter Media's recurring "Fuck You! It's January" bit (they really liked Her, incidentally).
posted by Wandering Idiot at 8:57 PM on January 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hence Red Letter Media's recurring "Fuck You! It's January" bit (they really liked Her, incidentally).
posted by Wandering Idiot at 8:57 PM on January 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
bleep: But if you look closely he's not really ever acting; in fact in a lot of movies he doesn't have that much to do, his lines just float out of an empty grin.
He studied at the Robert Mitchum school of acting.
posted by frecklefaerie at 11:59 PM on January 20, 2015
He studied at the Robert Mitchum school of acting.
posted by frecklefaerie at 11:59 PM on January 20, 2015
So we went to see a movie the other day, and a couple behind us laughed out loud with delight at the previews for Mortdecai and several other terrible movies. My general thought was, "Wow, apparently there is a target audience for this crap!"
posted by limeonaire at 6:21 AM on January 21, 2015
posted by limeonaire at 6:21 AM on January 21, 2015
Well, I've been having fun calling my cat "Meowtdecai," so I can't say I haven't gotten anything from this movie...
posted by the phlegmatic king at 7:19 AM on January 21, 2015
posted by the phlegmatic king at 7:19 AM on January 21, 2015
It just won't Mortdecdie
posted by The Whelk at 7:34 AM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 7:34 AM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
He studied at the Robert Mitchum school of acting.
Mitchum once said "Look, I have two kinds of acting. One on a horse and one off a horse. That's it."
That's why Mitchum was the greatest.
posted by maxsparber at 8:04 AM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]
Mitchum once said "Look, I have two kinds of acting. One on a horse and one off a horse. That's it."
That's why Mitchum was the greatest.
posted by maxsparber at 8:04 AM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is great, because I've been wondering what The Grand Budapest Hotel would be like if it was a piece of shit
So you haven't seen it yet?
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:45 PM on January 21, 2015
So you haven't seen it yet?
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:45 PM on January 21, 2015
It went down to 6%. Then the Rotten Tomatoes server fell over.
Can't help pondering the words of the Guardian review: "There are other, more solemnly middlebrow offerings that deserve this treatment more."
posted by Artw at 2:14 PM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Can't help pondering the words of the Guardian review: "There are other, more solemnly middlebrow offerings that deserve this treatment more."
posted by Artw at 2:14 PM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
"...there is the distinct possibility that many of the reviews of "Mortdecai," at least those written by people with longer memories, may refer to it as being Johnny Depp's "Hudson Hawk." This is a patently unfair comparison to make and not just because I am one of those rare birds who actually found "Hudson Hawk" to be a fairly hilarious romp that will one day be rediscovered and properly worshipped. No, even if I hated that film as much as most people did back in the day, it would still stand head and shoulders above this absolutely bewildering waste of time, talent, energy and money."
posted by nubs at 3:28 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by nubs at 3:28 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mark Kermode: "I have to be honest, I hated it ... My biggest problem with Mortdecai was I thought it's insufferable and unfunny ... It is a gurning, grinning, moustachioed pantomime performance in which everything is turned up to eleventy-stupid."
posted by Sys Rq at 9:03 AM on January 24, 2015
posted by Sys Rq at 9:03 AM on January 24, 2015
it bombed like a motherfucker.
I guess comedy really is the genre that fails hardest when it fails.
posted by Artw at 9:04 AM on January 25, 2015
I guess comedy really is the genre that fails hardest when it fails.
posted by Artw at 9:04 AM on January 25, 2015
Oh wow, that's gotta be making the accountants wince.
As a side note, I really wish box office was reported as # of tickets sold, not a dollar figure.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:12 PM on January 25, 2015
As a side note, I really wish box office was reported as # of tickets sold, not a dollar figure.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:12 PM on January 25, 2015
Mainly I'm wondering why they expended the ad budget they did on it, since they plainly knew they had a stinker.
posted by Artw at 12:16 PM on January 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 12:16 PM on January 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mainly I'm wondering why they expended the ad budget they did on it, since they plainly knew they had a stinker.
It worked for Transformers.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:28 PM on January 25, 2015
It worked for Transformers.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:28 PM on January 25, 2015
Mainly I'm wondering why they expended the ad budget they did on it, since they plainly knew they had a stinker.
Contractual responsibilities, probably. Dumping it in January and hoping to squeeze a little out of the first weekend was cheaper than shelving it.
posted by Etrigan at 2:42 PM on January 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
Contractual responsibilities, probably. Dumping it in January and hoping to squeeze a little out of the first weekend was cheaper than shelving it.
posted by Etrigan at 2:42 PM on January 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
It worked for Transformers.
Yeah, but people knew what Transformers was. Put a Decepticons logo on a zillion posters, and a critical mass of rabidly nostalgic consumers is guaranteed to come running with wads of cash. But outside of cartoons, market-saturation GABBO IS COMING campaigns don't work when people don't know what Gabbo is. Intrigue isn't enough all by itself.
I don't even think that's what they were going for, though. I think they were just trying to lazily ape the tried and true "title & goofy picture" campaign of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and get it to as many eyeballs as possible. But, the thing is, that title conveys information. The only information conveyed by the Mortdecai posters is that it's one of those modern non-Pirates Johnny Depp movies where he's "funny."
And, well, that's maybe not a great selling point. Those movies have shockingly consistent Rotten Tomatoes audience ratings of 46-55% and steadily falling critics' ratings.
And just like Transformers, people knew what Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was, what Alice in Wonderland was, what Dark Shadows was, and what The Lone Ranger was, and/or remembered liking the classic (original! creative! imaginative! ...remember when those were things movies were?) Burton-Depp teamup Edward Scissorhands and expected something like that, blah blah blah, nostalgic consumers, blah blah, wads of cash, blah. The attraction of those movies was not, "Here's Johnny Depp being annoying as fuck just like in those other movies you hated," which is literally all this ad campaign is offering.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:49 PM on January 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yeah, but people knew what Transformers was. Put a Decepticons logo on a zillion posters, and a critical mass of rabidly nostalgic consumers is guaranteed to come running with wads of cash. But outside of cartoons, market-saturation GABBO IS COMING campaigns don't work when people don't know what Gabbo is. Intrigue isn't enough all by itself.
I don't even think that's what they were going for, though. I think they were just trying to lazily ape the tried and true "title & goofy picture" campaign of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and get it to as many eyeballs as possible. But, the thing is, that title conveys information. The only information conveyed by the Mortdecai posters is that it's one of those modern non-Pirates Johnny Depp movies where he's "funny."
And, well, that's maybe not a great selling point. Those movies have shockingly consistent Rotten Tomatoes audience ratings of 46-55% and steadily falling critics' ratings.
And just like Transformers, people knew what Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was, what Alice in Wonderland was, what Dark Shadows was, and what The Lone Ranger was, and/or remembered liking the classic (original! creative! imaginative! ...remember when those were things movies were?) Burton-Depp teamup Edward Scissorhands and expected something like that, blah blah blah, nostalgic consumers, blah blah, wads of cash, blah. The attraction of those movies was not, "Here's Johnny Depp being annoying as fuck just like in those other movies you hated," which is literally all this ad campaign is offering.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:49 PM on January 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think the marketing campaign, posters, etc. did a fine job of making the public aware that this is a movie that is coming out, and Johnny Depp is in it, and it's a quirky comedy with a retro twist. The goal of a lot of advertising is simply to inform people that a product exists, and I think this campaign accomplished that.
The problem is that knowing Mortdecai is a movie that is coming out isn't the same thing as wanting to see said movie.
I'm also curious about how Transformers would have done with a January release. IIRC all of those movies have come out during Summer popcorn/tentpole season.
posted by Sara C. at 9:13 AM on January 26, 2015
The problem is that knowing Mortdecai is a movie that is coming out isn't the same thing as wanting to see said movie.
I'm also curious about how Transformers would have done with a January release. IIRC all of those movies have come out during Summer popcorn/tentpole season.
posted by Sara C. at 9:13 AM on January 26, 2015
I feel like Mortdecai would have been a fine installment in the Quirky Period British TV genre. Kind of like an updated Jeeves and Wooster? I can totally picture watching something based on this source material on Masterpiece Theatre. (Or whatever we're calling that these days. Masterpiece Classics? Masterpiece Mystery?)
It's not really big budget major Hollywood studio type of thing, though.
posted by Sara C. at 9:31 AM on January 26, 2015
It's not really big budget major Hollywood studio type of thing, though.
posted by Sara C. at 9:31 AM on January 26, 2015
I'm frankly terrified of the carnage that's going to result from Johnny Depp's The Thin Man remake. Why hasn't someone confiscated his right to take beloved things and RUIN THEM LIKE A RUINING RUINER.
posted by pseudonymph at 5:56 PM on January 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pseudonymph at 5:56 PM on January 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wait hold on
I've just got the wind knocked out of me
Excuse me
OK hold on, can we just agree that on this site any reference to "Johnny Depp Thin Man Remake" will only be understood to be someone's hilarious fake band name and not to anything approaching a real life thing. Do I need to open a meta. (I refuse to google this)
posted by bleep at 7:48 PM on January 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've just got the wind knocked out of me
Excuse me
OK hold on, can we just agree that on this site any reference to "Johnny Depp Thin Man Remake" will only be understood to be someone's hilarious fake band name and not to anything approaching a real life thing. Do I need to open a meta. (I refuse to google this)
posted by bleep at 7:48 PM on January 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm so terribly sorry. We must hold together in this darkest of times.
(We can also hold a prayer circle and sacrifice a notably magnificent goat to the Old Gods, and ask for them to grant Johnny Depp a profound and life-changing moment, which will lead to him leaving the realm of acting and producing forever and ever, AMEN, PRAISE RAUM THE MIGHTIEST AND MOST VINDICTIVE OF DEMONS, etc, etc.
I will bring the Sacrificial Dagger and a plate of sandwiches, if anyone else is in.)
posted by pseudonymph at 12:01 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
(We can also hold a prayer circle and sacrifice a notably magnificent goat to the Old Gods, and ask for them to grant Johnny Depp a profound and life-changing moment, which will lead to him leaving the realm of acting and producing forever and ever, AMEN, PRAISE RAUM THE MIGHTIEST AND MOST VINDICTIVE OF DEMONS, etc, etc.
I will bring the Sacrificial Dagger and a plate of sandwiches, if anyone else is in.)
posted by pseudonymph at 12:01 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Meetup!!
posted by bleep at 7:33 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by bleep at 7:33 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
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