If you've ever worked in retail, you MUST download this song.

February 9, 2002 3:55 PM

If you've ever worked in retail, you MUST download this song. Apparently, back in the mid 1960's, Woolworth decided that the best way to motivate their managers was to hire one Michael Brown to compose and sing a snappy pop tune just for them, with predictably bizarre results. Here at the store, it's become our new anthem. For more info the tune and it's creator go here and scroll down.
posted by jonmc (24 comments total)

Why didn't you link the McDonald's Mp3 down at the bottom of the page? That is hilariously cynical and worth listening, too...!
posted by crog at 4:23 PM on February 9, 2002

Sounds suspiciously like Hungarian Rhapsody to me.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:49 PM on February 9, 2002

I think my ears are bleeding.
posted by Kikkoman at 4:57 PM on February 9, 2002

As Crow T. Robot once said: "We hope we touched you with a little bit of our evilness"

Given that Woolworth went belly up, I suppose the managers ignored this cautionary tale and were struck with that Woolworth Manager's Insanity that the singer so jauntily refers to at the end of the song.
posted by evanizer at 5:06 PM on February 9, 2002

I hope this gets covered by Me First And The Gimme Gimmes.
posted by Optamystic at 5:10 PM on February 9, 2002

Free Enterprise is the best song ever. Good link jonmc.
posted by owillis at 5:17 PM on February 9, 2002

Wow. These are so great. Time to whip out acid and put a funky beat to these songs.

I smell remixes!
posted by ewwgene at 5:35 PM on February 9, 2002

owillis: agreed.

"this lemonade stand isn't working out - I'm going to build computers!"
posted by jheiz at 5:39 PM on February 9, 2002

"this lemonade stand isn't working out - I'm going to build computers!"

and a corporate empire was born.
posted by jonmc at 5:43 PM on February 9, 2002

oh my gosh, my 4th grade class sang that "free enterprise" song as a serious elementary school musical-play thing. heh, hearing it again, it sure sounds like one of those propaganda "the communists are the dark empire!" songs.
posted by alex3005 at 5:48 PM on February 9, 2002

<shame> lord help me....I......I.........I like it. I LIKE IT! I REALLY LIKE IT! </shame>
posted by ashbury at 6:14 PM on February 9, 2002

...why i love this place...this and 'Powerhouse' (ray scott) are my favorites.
posted by clavdivs at 6:25 PM on February 9, 2002

I hope this gets covered by Me First And The Gimme Gimmes.

...if not them, then it'll be Snuff.
posted by robzster1977 at 7:10 PM on February 9, 2002

"this lemonade stand isn't working out - I'm going to build computers!"

i'm sorry, microsoft has never built a computer, you are thinking of Apple.
posted by tenseone at 8:30 PM on February 9, 2002

For more odd musical moments check out North America's premiere Hockey Rock
band The Zambonis. Great tunes, and as an added bonus, they're from Connecticut! Any band
that has opened for Jonathan Richman and recorded a song called "Bob Marley and the Hartford Whalers" has got to be cool, right? Seriously, these guys have been fixtures in my neck of the woods for years. Check 'em out and give
yourself a treat.


posted by jonmc at 8:34 PM on February 9, 2002

This song was made for Nathan Lane. Can you say Tony?
posted by smackfu at 9:21 PM on February 9, 2002

This is probably the sickest song I've ever heard.
posted by jmccorm at 10:37 PM on February 9, 2002

I am really digging on the Kelley Tire deppresion song. This is a great link.
posted by MaddCutty at 10:48 PM on February 9, 2002

Wow, I like how the whole song is a thinly vailed threat....
posted by delmoi at 11:08 PM on February 9, 2002

That is the most demented and disturbing thing I've heard in a while - I love it!
posted by Modem Ovary at 9:59 AM on February 10, 2002

Clavdivs: Ray Scott for ya. I love that man.
posted by Modem Ovary at 10:02 AM on February 10, 2002

Tension, apprehension, and dissention have begun!
posted by redfoxtail at 3:36 PM on February 10, 2002

love that sight....ah men in hats and shoes that shone...
posted by clavdivs at 4:04 PM on February 10, 2002

That's fantastic, jonmc. For another amphetamine-driven musical adventure, you might try "The Answer" from General Electrics's "Got to Investigate Silicones!". (Courtesy of Incorrect Music.)

"When you've got a problem think SILICONES!"
posted by BT at 6:13 AM on February 11, 2002