Tomatan
February 20, 2015 2:45 PM   Subscribe

Tomatan: a wearable robot that feeds you tomatoes as you run.
posted by GuyZero (53 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
Oh, thank god it's here.
posted by Foam Pants at 2:47 PM on February 20, 2015 [23 favorites]


Running and tomatoes. I think I have found my personal hell.
posted by Drinky Die at 2:51 PM on February 20, 2015 [3 favorites]


I don't understand it—Dom Deluise went mad in fifteen minutes!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:54 PM on February 20, 2015 [5 favorites]


Finally, the future.
posted by angerbot at 2:56 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]




This is the sort of (wonderful) thing that you can't describe to someone without sounding like you're the crazy one.
posted by clockzero at 3:07 PM on February 20, 2015 [16 favorites]


Hopefully Vomatan will be available as an addon, to wipe off the runners faces after they hurl a bellyfull of force-fed tomatoes.
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:11 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wow. That video crashed my display driver, forcing a completely unrelated program to shut down. The browser, however, was fine.
posted by pipeski at 3:11 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Worth inventing for the ketchup/catch up joke alone. My compliments to Japan.
posted by phunniemee at 3:19 PM on February 20, 2015 [6 favorites]


Safety officer says: Choking hazard!
posted by fiercecupcake at 3:20 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't understand this. Why would someone running a marathon want to carry more weight? Why would people want to eat tomatoes devoid of salt and pepper? Why does it look like I would wake up in the middle of the night to find its eyes glowing in the darkness and horrible robot arms crushing tomatoes into my sleeping face?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:20 PM on February 20, 2015 [12 favorites]


You know why.

You know what you did.
posted by curious nu at 3:22 PM on February 20, 2015 [23 favorites]


And so does Tomatan.
posted by curious nu at 3:22 PM on February 20, 2015 [11 favorites]


Burn it. Burn it with fire.
Serve with a drizzle of olive oil and a slice of mozzarella.
posted by pipeski at 3:30 PM on February 20, 2015 [12 favorites]


I was skeptical at first, then when I found out about Petit-Tomatan I knew that the Kurtz line between brilliant and insane had not yet been crossed.

I think something like this but for dogs and dog treats as they run around the park would work well.
posted by 724A at 3:35 PM on February 20, 2015


To me what's interesting is that the problem that this solves is "marathon runners are eating tomatoes too fast."

Which, I have to say, is a unique starting point, but one that leads inevitably to this robot.
posted by GuyZero at 3:37 PM on February 20, 2015 [19 favorites]


Which, I have to say, is a unique starting point, but one that leads inevitably to this robot.

And in a way, all of history -- of the universe, I mean -- leads inevitably to this robot.
posted by clockzero at 3:40 PM on February 20, 2015 [7 favorites]


Can it feed me, oh, beer? This could revolutionize the beer mile.
posted by eriko at 3:44 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Looking at the picture I thought it was the sort of thing Maywa Denki would do before I read of their involvement.
posted by RobotHero at 3:45 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


You say 'Tomato', I say 'DESTROY ALL HUMANS!'
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:50 PM on February 20, 2015 [8 favorites]


To make a robot that force-feeds you tomatoes, you must first invent the universe.
posted by ardgedee at 3:57 PM on February 20, 2015 [11 favorites]


Ummmmmm, yeah.

Just... yeah.

(Also seconding the vote for the powdered condiment dispenser, even if I WOULD end up choosing Cavender's.)
posted by Samizdata at 4:09 PM on February 20, 2015


You say 'Tomato', I say 'DESTROY ALL HUMANS!'

You are hereby dishonorably discharged from the Kagome Tomato Scout program
posted by clockzero at 4:14 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


You are hereby dishonorably discharged from the Kagome Tomato Scout program

I hear Princess Tomato is totally devastated, boss.
posted by curious nu at 4:19 PM on February 20, 2015 [3 favorites]


The way the thing's mouth moves when it offers a tomato, makes me think that as the arms of Tomatan lower to offer its fruit, the human should raise his hands, offering a tiny humonculus for the robotic jaws to consume.
posted by idiopath at 4:23 PM on February 20, 2015 [16 favorites]


I don't understand this. Why would someone running a marathon want to carry more weight?

LOL pleb

Every marathon runner knows having to grab a tomato out of your backpack and bring it to your mouth adds crucial seconds to one's time.
posted by Sangermaine at 4:36 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Who run TOMATO-TOWN?
posted by snwod at 4:55 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is screaming for an Ig Nobel. I hope there is a paper that accompanies this press release.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:04 PM on February 20, 2015


I hear Princess Tomato is totally devastated, boss.

PERCY, JUST JUMP RIGHT INTO THIS HOPPER YES. TOMATAN IS YOUR FRIEND.

I'm surprised no one's mentioned its face yet. From the description it's just a robot that feeds you tomatoes as you run. But actually, it's a robot that feeds you tomatoes that has a happy tomato head, its mouth opening and closing automatically as you go. It adds a certain something to the story.
posted by JHarris at 5:12 PM on February 20, 2015 [5 favorites]


"FATHER, WHY DO I LIVE"

*stuffs a tomato in your mouth before you can answer*
posted by Kitteh at 5:48 PM on February 20, 2015 [7 favorites]


Clearly, the inventor has seen "Modern Times" once or twice.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:50 PM on February 20, 2015


I like how the guy is just a regular guy (a "salaryman" I guess?), and not obviously a performance artist type like you might expect to see wearing a Tomatan.

Long ago I dreamed of a similar robot that sat on on my shoulders, but one that worked my tongue and jaw and vocal cords (and I guess squeezed my ribcage like an accordion's bellows), and so did all the talking for me while I typed. You know, for translation.
posted by notyou at 5:50 PM on February 20, 2015 [4 favorites]


Adorable automaton!
Awww! Tomatan!
posted by otherchaz at 6:11 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is this the greatest thing the Internet has shown us today? Just wondering.
posted by triage_lazarus at 6:14 PM on February 20, 2015


I'm sure that after many long, difficult hours spent on creating Tomatan, it wasn't until he gave it a movable jaw that mimed chewing motions that Mr. Suzuki thought, "Yes, finally, my project is out of beta."
posted by ardgedee at 6:22 PM on February 20, 2015 [3 favorites]


Tomatan was on twitter earlier.
posted by gatorae at 6:35 PM on February 20, 2015


Tomatan loves runner. Tomatan feeds runner. Runner never thank Tomatan. Tomatan so sad. Tomatan can only smile. Tomatan shatters inside. But Tomatan must feed runner...
posted by Samizdata at 6:54 PM on February 20, 2015 [4 favorites]


Because of COURSE he's wearing a white shirt.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:36 PM on February 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


The answer is none. None more Japanese.
posted by theredpen at 8:38 PM on February 20, 2015 [4 favorites]


If I am very, very good this lifetime, do you think I can come back Japanese next time?
posted by eggkeeper at 9:01 PM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


Looks like a Tim Burton creation come to "life". Maybe he can make an Attack of The Killer Tomatans.
posted by riverlife at 11:31 PM on February 20, 2015


The only thing more unnerving than this kind of article/thread is when nobody takes pity on the sarcastically-disadvantaged of us and leaves a brief clarifying comment as to whether it's satire or not.

I mean, your mind's repeating "This is insane. This can't possibly be real," but when all the responses indicate that either it's an easily-detectable satire, or not one at all, from where do you take your cue?
posted by The Zeroth Law at 12:36 AM on February 21, 2015


The Zeroth Law: "from where do you take your cue?"

Perhaps this will clarify everything.
posted by RobotHero at 1:08 AM on February 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was hoping the head at the top would sing like an Otamatone.
posted by Standard Orange at 1:12 AM on February 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


Tomato boarding.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 3:48 AM on February 21, 2015


the [modified version of the] robot features a timer so the runner does not ingest too many tomatoes at one go and deplete their supply too quickly.

I have a hunch that "running out of tomato" was not the problematic condition of the larger robot. It was more akin to "asphyxiation" than anything else.
posted by Lemurrhea at 6:15 AM on February 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is where I would put a carefully crafted .gif of the Lost in Space robot flailing his arms and yelling,"Danger Will Robinson. Danger!"

And throwing tomatoes.

But I suck at .gifs.
posted by Splunge at 7:03 AM on February 21, 2015


Such an obvious solution to an age old problem. This is the exact same thing as Einstein coming up with relativity while working as a patent clerk.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:17 AM on February 21, 2015


The only way this could be better is if it were a GIANT ROBOT feeding you tomatoes.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:31 AM on February 21, 2015


I don't understand this. Why would someone running a marathon want to carry more weight? Why would people want to eat tomatoes devoid of salt and pepper? Why does it look like I would wake up in the middle of the night to find its eyes glowing in the darkness and horrible robot arms crushing tomatoes into my sleeping face?

As is often the case with Japanese oddities, I think the only explanation is that the inventor is actually insane, but the idea is already so far along that no Japanese person would dare point out how foolish it is. Even obliquely referring to the stupidity of the idea might lead to an apology/embarrassment cascade that could destroy the Yen and undo 70 years of peace.
posted by General Tonic at 11:37 AM on February 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


General Tonic: "As is often the case with Japanese oddities, I think the only explanation is that the inventor is actually insane, but the idea is already so far along that no Japanese person would dare point out how foolish it is. Even obliquely referring to the stupidity of the idea might lead to an apology/embarrassment cascade that could destroy the Yen and undo 70 years of peace."

Haha, yes, those inscrutable Asians, their crushing conformity, and their inability to express disagreement with their superiors! Yes, it must be that! Or maybe you were joking! Oh, what a wonderful joke, those kind of racial stereotype jokes never get old!

The Zeroth Law: "The only thing more unnerving than this kind of article/thread is when nobody takes pity on the sarcastically-disadvantaged of us and leaves a brief clarifying comment as to whether it's satire or not. "

Don't worry, this, like the annual weird Triumph bra, is just advertising (and I don't mean that in a denigrating way). Kagome (or rather its PR company, probably either Dentsu or Hakuhodo) wanted to create some buzz and capture some TV coverage time on the morning news/variety shows, so they hired Maywa Denki, an art/performance art group to create an amusing and utterly impractical tomato-themed device.
posted by Bugbread at 2:22 PM on February 21, 2015 [5 favorites]


best comment from the reddit thread

"he could win a marinarathon"
posted by idiopath at 4:40 AM on February 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


This thing is so beautiful. It really is.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:19 AM on February 26, 2015


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