That cat has serious issues

March 16, 2015 11:12 PM

Louis, a 17-year-old ginger tom, accused of pouncing ‘like a wild lion in the jungle’ on to unsuspecting pet pooch’s head

“Be aware – this ball of fluff is not as cute and cuddly as he looks. I’ve got a battered elbow, battered knee and a sore wrist,” added Stone-Outten, from Shepton Mallet, Somerset.

She added: “I think that cat has got history; it was far too good for that to have been his first attack - he knows what he’s doing.”

posted by moody cow (27 comments total)

"Related content: Suspected arson at dogs' home leaves 43 animals dead"

Oh, that cat!
posted by pracowity at 11:37 PM on March 16, 2015 [7 favorites]

Oh, not this Louis then.
posted by books for weapons at 11:40 PM on March 16, 2015 [2 favorites]

That cat has a criminal face.
posted by Artw at 11:50 PM on March 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

I've met this cat, seemed pretty good natured to me. He's been framed I tells ya!
posted by NordyneDefenceDynamics at 12:06 AM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]

I've seen neighborhood cats that love to sneak and pounce so much that they sometimes sneak up to dogs and sometimes get so carried away that they actually pounce on them, then, having accomplished their task, they run off.

Obviously I don't know exactly what happened, but it sounds to me that this is what the cat did, and it scared the woman and she fell, and now she's blaming the cat for her fall.

“Be aware – this ball of fluff is not as cute and cuddly as he looks. I’ve got a battered elbow, battered knee and a sore wrist,"

The cat did not batter her elbow or knee, nor hurt her wrist. And since she's saying nothing about it, I assume her dog is okay too.

Let's hope her broken pride inspired campaign against this cat leads nowhere.
posted by eye of newt at 12:19 AM on March 17, 2015 [6 favorites]

What a sweetie. He looks so serious in his tiny wicker basket. I want a T-shirt.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 12:56 AM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

Finally! the Guardian is eschewing hackery and doing some substantial reportage
posted by dubitable at 2:27 AM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]

I fear what we've been pounced on by is a slooooww news day.
posted by sexyrobot at 2:36 AM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]

My cat regularly tries to take me down like a wildebeest.

I was thinking about building her a sort of theme park, with bonsai trees and a water hole, all miniaturised so she could play at being a lion.
posted by colie at 2:53 AM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]

They'll have to do a "reality" show with Louis the Cathedral Cat vs. Mary Bale the Cat Bin Woman.
posted by pracowity at 3:14 AM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

At 17 years old it's amazing that he's pouncing on anything!
posted by asok at 3:14 AM on March 17, 2015 [9 favorites]

Thug.
posted by PlusDistance at 3:32 AM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

Personality changes in cats, including aggression, as they get older are sometimes signs of kitty Alzheimer or other age related illnesses. I'd encourage them to have Louis checked out by a vet ASAP.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:37 AM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

Oh, not this Louis then.

MURDEROUS IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RICK
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:04 AM on March 17, 2015 [13 favorites]

Once I was wheeling down the street at night (in my wheelchair) and:

THUD. About twenty pounds of cat lands in my lap. I stop, stunned, looking at the animal. It is an unfamiliar to me, giant cat.

I was like *is this a rabid killer cat who will rip me up when I nudge him off*

Then he started kneading my legs in preparation for curling up my lap in a ball.

In sum, sometimes what looks like killer cat behavior is just looking for a nice lap. Maybe that dog was one of those fat fluffy things that looks like an ottoman with legs
posted by angrycat at 5:25 AM on March 17, 2015 [34 favorites]

Being considered an ambulatory cat lap is something that never occurred to me as a risk (reward) of being in a wheelchair.
posted by jeather at 5:37 AM on March 17, 2015 [15 favorites]

We own a territorial pouncer. He's fairly toothless, but beefy and brave. He goes up to and challenges every dog that walks by. Mind you, that's probably how his face ended up in the state it was in when we found and adopted him a few years ago and had his jaw wired back together, but he's still out there challenging all those crapping yappers on their retractable strings.
posted by pracowity at 5:44 AM on March 17, 2015

In sum, sometimes what looks like killer cat behavior is just looking for a nice lap. Maybe that dog was one of those fat fluffy things that looks like an ottoman with legs
posted by angrycat at 5:25 AM on March 17 [4 favorites +] [!]

I can't even
posted by dubitable at 6:05 AM on March 17, 2015 [6 favorites]

That cat has serious issues.
That cat has a criminal face.
THUG

So... typical cat, then.

My cat wouldn't sleep in her cat bed - maybe she was just holding out for a cathedral. As my father used to say, "Nothin' too good for a cat."

Can I just say how much I LOVE those freckles older orange kitties get on their lips and noses?!? OMGKEWT
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:51 AM on March 17, 2015 [3 favorites]

I've seen neighborhood cats that love to sneak and pounce so much that they sometimes sneak up to dogs and sometimes get so carried away that they actually pounce on them, then, having accomplished their task, they run off.

I think Imust have been five or six when our cat Whiskey finally had enough of Rocky the neighbor dog. Rocky spent a half his time barking, carrying on, and pooping up a storm in our back yard. The only thing that drowned him out was the nasal screaming of the neighbor lady calling, "RAH-KEE! RAAAH-KEEE!!" all hours of the day and night.

One evening, we were drawn to the window by a chorus of "RAH-KEE! RAAAH-KEEE!! RAAAAH-KEEEE!!!" followed by "BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WHU?!?" and a series of odd whines. We looked out into the back yard, and saw Whiskey riding Rocky around and around the perimeter like a bronco buster. Now, Whiskey was neutered late in life, so he had the physique of a junkyard tom - a good 10 to 15 pounds of solid muscle. He was a peace-loving cat and a lovemuffin extraordinaire, but in that moment he looked like all four Horsecats of the Apocalypse rolled into one.

When he had had enough, he casually jumped off the dog's back into the nearest tree, licked his little white chops, and groomed his whiskers like he'd just had a douple helping of Fancy Feast.

Rocky stayed in his own yard from then on.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:05 AM on March 17, 2015 [18 favorites]

Wait till that cat realizes he left his microphone on when he took that trip to the litterbox.
posted by yoink at 10:00 AM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

My parents had a succession of miniature schnauzers over the years. The last one of them was a very friendly fellow who had two cat playmates from the time he came to join us. One afternoon he went out to greet the neighborhood cat who'd come into our yard. The sequence of sounds was HAPPY BARK-HAPPY BARK-HAPPY-BARK-YELP!-WHINE-WHINE-WHINE as the neighbor stray chased him back inside.

I can believe that a stray could beat up on a little dog, no problem. Though I'd want more evidence that it was Louis in the cathedral's shoes.
posted by immlass at 10:08 AM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

We had two cats already when I adopted Ashes as a kitten. She was super tiny and fluffy. She looked like a soot sprite.

Her favorite activity was to shred tissues half way down in the box and then crawl into wait. When one of the older cats passed by, she would leap out on top of them.

After the big Tom spent a week hiding in the closet we put a bell on Ashes that alerted everyone to her presence. That took care of that.
posted by FunkyHelix at 10:17 AM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

Being considered an ambulatory cat lap is something that never occurred to me as a risk (reward) of being in a wheelchair.


It totally is a reward. My little old cat is always seeking warmth, and if she is not on her warming blanket, she is usually riding my lap like Kate Winslet riding the prow of the Titanic, I guess, minus the paws spread wide thing.
posted by angrycat at 10:48 AM on March 17, 2015 [6 favorites]

way to go Louis!

i'm sure it's Louis, my human thinks i'm this totally sweet cat too but boy when my big fluffy friend comes ambling around a corner, he gets SMACKED WRASSLED AND TROUNCED

i call it the SWAT team of one lol

and he doesn't go around whining about it like some little puppy dog, oh no, he tries to sneak up on me. okay sometimes he surprises me. but i'm faster.

then we go to sleep on each other.
posted by Susu pitchounette at 11:20 AM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

I guess that dog got his... *takes sunglasses off*


...Catechism.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:15 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

My money is on Louis being the injured party here. The dog was yappy asshole. Louis acted in self defense.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:57 PM on March 17, 2015