Git to da choppah! screamed Ahnold
March 18, 2015 3:09 PM Subscribe
Famous scenes from R-rated films, done in a children's book style by Josh Cooley, an artist at Pixar.
"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..." went the woodchipper.
posted by echo target at 3:23 PM on March 18, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by echo target at 3:23 PM on March 18, 2015 [9 favorites]
"Eek Eek Eek Eek Eek Eek" went the orchestra.
posted by chavenet at 3:29 PM on March 18, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 3:29 PM on March 18, 2015 [14 favorites]
Another year gone by on the Internet.
posted by pashdown at 3:33 PM on March 18, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by pashdown at 3:33 PM on March 18, 2015 [5 favorites]
hahaha that was great. I have to send this book to my parents, because I can't ever see the choppah scene without thinking about this: John McTiernan - the director of Predator - owns a ranch which borders my parents'. For years there was a little barn in direct view of my parents' windows (of which they had plenty to say when he put it there) that was just full of props and equipment from all the movies he had directed. Some of it was too big to fit so it sat outside - including the prop helicopter from Predator, of which my parents' kitchen window had a perfect view. (I called it "the prop choppah for the choppah proppah.")
So for years and years, whenever I went home and did the dishes, I'd look out the window and yell, "Git to da choppah!" and laugh and laugh. (Sadly, my jokes were wasted on my parents, who have never seen Predator.)
Unfortunately, McTiernan has had some problems, both financial and legal, and one day when I went home and looked out the window I discovered that all the movie props had disappeared, either stolen or sold, ruining my fun. Although that did mean I got to turn to my parents and sadly say, "Somebody got to da choppah."
For most people, he's the guy who directed all these iconic movies like Predator and The Hunt for Red October. But for everyone who lives in my parent's valley, he's the dude from California whose problems have scandalized the entire valley with gossip. So I can't see this scene without thinking about that sad little prop choppah sitting out in the wind and snow.
posted by barchan at 3:41 PM on March 18, 2015 [72 favorites]
So for years and years, whenever I went home and did the dishes, I'd look out the window and yell, "Git to da choppah!" and laugh and laugh. (Sadly, my jokes were wasted on my parents, who have never seen Predator.)
Unfortunately, McTiernan has had some problems, both financial and legal, and one day when I went home and looked out the window I discovered that all the movie props had disappeared, either stolen or sold, ruining my fun. Although that did mean I got to turn to my parents and sadly say, "Somebody got to da choppah."
For most people, he's the guy who directed all these iconic movies like Predator and The Hunt for Red October. But for everyone who lives in my parent's valley, he's the dude from California whose problems have scandalized the entire valley with gossip. So I can't see this scene without thinking about that sad little prop choppah sitting out in the wind and snow.
posted by barchan at 3:41 PM on March 18, 2015 [72 favorites]
"The guys at work don't think you exist", said Trevor.
"That's why I can't get a raise", replied Ivan.
"You've got a big mouth", said John Williamson, "Now I'm gonna show you an even bigger one."
"Bye, Ben" said Frank Booth. "Anyone want to go on a joyride with us?"
"I can feel it", whispered Jack.
Chop-Top smiled, admiring the rows of record albums.
"I guess this is where you keep the moldy oldies, huh?" he asked.
"You should take better care of your teeth", Szell said. "You have quite a...quite a cavity here."
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:53 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
"That's why I can't get a raise", replied Ivan.
"You've got a big mouth", said John Williamson, "Now I'm gonna show you an even bigger one."
"Bye, Ben" said Frank Booth. "Anyone want to go on a joyride with us?"
"I can feel it", whispered Jack.
Chop-Top smiled, admiring the rows of record albums.
"I guess this is where you keep the moldy oldies, huh?" he asked.
"You should take better care of your teeth", Szell said. "You have quite a...quite a cavity here."
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:53 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
"It's a mess, ain't it Sheriff," asked Ed.
"If it ain't, it'll do 'til the mess gets here," replied Sheriff Bell.
posted by mikeand1 at 3:53 PM on March 18, 2015
"If it ain't, it'll do 'til the mess gets here," replied Sheriff Bell.
posted by mikeand1 at 3:53 PM on March 18, 2015
"The power of Christ compels you," said Father Damien.
The Father and Satan exchanged glances.
posted by mikeand1 at 3:54 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
The Father and Satan exchanged glances.
posted by mikeand1 at 3:54 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Malkovich? Malkovich malkovich malkovich," malkovich Malkovich.
posted by eruonna at 4:08 PM on March 18, 2015 [26 favorites]
posted by eruonna at 4:08 PM on March 18, 2015 [26 favorites]
"Is this really the best way to put a question in quotes?" asked Sys Rq.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:13 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Sys Rq at 4:13 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm disappointed there was nothing from Robocop. "Bitches, Leave." said Clarence.
posted by dortmunder at 4:18 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by dortmunder at 4:18 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
I feel petty for noticing that those are not all R-rated movies. And for mentioning it.
posted by Flexagon at 4:20 PM on March 18, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Flexagon at 4:20 PM on March 18, 2015 [9 favorites]
My SO, when I first visited her apartment, had a print of Cooley's Chinatown illustration ("You are a very nosey fella, kittykat, huh?") on the wall. It's still here and so am I, because that is awesome.
posted by ZaphodB at 4:22 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ZaphodB at 4:22 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Jaws" was rated PG when it came out. That was 1975 for you.
posted by stargell at 4:40 PM on March 18, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by stargell at 4:40 PM on March 18, 2015 [6 favorites]
"Son, you got a panty on your head," said the old man in the truck.
"Bring out the Gimp," said Zed.
"Mmmmph," said the Gimp.
"Duke, let's go do some crimes." suggested Debbi.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Duke, "Let's go get sushi and not pay!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:09 PM on March 18, 2015 [10 favorites]
"Bring out the Gimp," said Zed.
"Mmmmph," said the Gimp.
"Duke, let's go do some crimes." suggested Debbi.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Duke, "Let's go get sushi and not pay!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:09 PM on March 18, 2015 [10 favorites]
My pedantry is it bothers me way more than it probably should when the famous quote doesn't happen at the same time as the famous picture, like in Jaws or the Godfather.
posted by RobotHero at 5:10 PM on March 18, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by RobotHero at 5:10 PM on March 18, 2015 [7 favorites]
"They're coming to get you, Barbra," teased Johnny.
posted by brundlefly at 5:14 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 5:14 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
"What's in the box?" Paul asked.
"Pain" replied the Reverend Mother.
posted by zippy at 5:23 PM on March 18, 2015 [13 favorites]
"Pain" replied the Reverend Mother.
posted by zippy at 5:23 PM on March 18, 2015 [13 favorites]
"Poor Emperor," giggled Alia, "I'm afraid my brother won't be very pleased with you."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:29 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:29 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
Dune was PG-13. (And awful.)
posted by The Tensor at 5:39 PM on March 18, 2015
posted by The Tensor at 5:39 PM on March 18, 2015
"Oh hai doggie," said Johnny.
"I take care of the place while the Master is away," torgoed Torgo.
"Your c-c-c (smack) CUSTOMERS won't know how they LIVED without Brand-X--- WITH ELIXAAR," said Mr. Clipboard through a spasm.
"No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians," said the actor playing Voldar, worrying for his career.
posted by JHarris at 5:46 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
"I take care of the place while the Master is away," torgoed Torgo.
"Your c-c-c (smack) CUSTOMERS won't know how they LIVED without Brand-X--- WITH ELIXAAR," said Mr. Clipboard through a spasm.
"No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians," said the actor playing Voldar, worrying for his career.
posted by JHarris at 5:46 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
"We have such sights to show you!" said the man in the funny rubber suit.
posted by ennui.bz at 5:55 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by ennui.bz at 5:55 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
I've seen my favorite one like fourteen or fifteen times.
posted by Sphinx at 5:56 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sphinx at 5:56 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
"Previously," said the killjoy. Or is the book actually coming out this year?
posted by Guy Smiley at 6:12 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Guy Smiley at 6:12 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
There's something about these illustrations that aren't quite children's book style. They are very animator-y. I was expecting something more along the lines of DePaola or Willems or Wells. I would give good money to see any of those scenes redone with Max and Ruby.
posted by Biblio at 6:25 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Biblio at 6:25 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
"2001: A Space Odyssey" was rated G in 1969... I remember that because it made it easier for me to talk my parents into seeing it alone at the age of 13, even though the 7PM showing ran 3 hours.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:37 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:37 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Tensor: "Dune was PG-13. (And awful.)"
Cortex will be closing your account within minutes.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:52 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
Cortex will be closing your account within minutes.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:52 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]
"You want me to hold the chicken, huh?" asked the waitress.
"I want you to hold it between your knees," answered Bobby.
"Tell 'im I'm coming," yelled The Limey. "Tell 'im I'm fucking coming!"
"In the meantime, I'll stay out of sight," said the Shmata Kid. "But if Caspar ain't stiff in a couple of days... I start eating in restaurants."
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no!" insisted Mr. Logan.
"You sat on the edge of the bed, didn't ya?" interogated Popeye. "You took off your shoes, put your finger between your toes, and you picked you feet, didn't ya? Now say it!"
"Yes!" answered the Junkie.
... And... just to pick nits: the line is "What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 8:00 PM on March 18, 2015
"I want you to hold it between your knees," answered Bobby.
"Tell 'im I'm coming," yelled The Limey. "Tell 'im I'm fucking coming!"
"In the meantime, I'll stay out of sight," said the Shmata Kid. "But if Caspar ain't stiff in a couple of days... I start eating in restaurants."
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no!" insisted Mr. Logan.
"You sat on the edge of the bed, didn't ya?" interogated Popeye. "You took off your shoes, put your finger between your toes, and you picked you feet, didn't ya? Now say it!"
"Yes!" answered the Junkie.
... And... just to pick nits: the line is "What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 8:00 PM on March 18, 2015
Another nit: "¡Ay, no me gusta!"? That seems a little more...well, Bumblebee Man than Pan's Labyrinth. If "thought Ofelia" were also in Spanish it would have jumped out less.
posted by Earthtopus at 9:07 PM on March 18, 2015
posted by Earthtopus at 9:07 PM on March 18, 2015
Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been.
posted by fluffycreature at 11:15 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by fluffycreature at 11:15 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Get away from her, you b$&@%!" said Ripley.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:23 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:23 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
Mod note: Eh, it's been a while, I'm cool with calling statute of limitations on this one.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 6:36 AM on March 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 6:36 AM on March 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ha! I knew I'd whined about the punctuation before!
posted by Sys Rq at 8:46 AM on March 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sys Rq at 8:46 AM on March 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Earthtopus said:
Another nit: "¡Ay, no me gusta!"? That seems a little more...well, Bumblebee Man than Pan's Labyrinth. If "thought Ofelia" were also in Spanish it would have jumped out less.
I can shrug it off (mexican), but for me it isn't really that removed from "Meee no rikeee!" if it were depicting a japanese movie scene. But, eh.
posted by infinitelives at 8:48 AM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Another nit: "¡Ay, no me gusta!"? That seems a little more...well, Bumblebee Man than Pan's Labyrinth. If "thought Ofelia" were also in Spanish it would have jumped out less.
I can shrug it off (mexican), but for me it isn't really that removed from "Meee no rikeee!" if it were depicting a japanese movie scene. But, eh.
posted by infinitelives at 8:48 AM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
"And I'm all out of gum" he added.
posted by zippy at 12:07 PM on March 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by zippy at 12:07 PM on March 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Squeal like a pig!" exclaimed the Mountain Man.
"Wheeeeeee," said Bobby.
posted by 4ster at 1:07 PM on March 19, 2015
"Wheeeeeee," said Bobby.
posted by 4ster at 1:07 PM on March 19, 2015
"No," said his father, "I am your father!"
posted by comealongpole at 2:41 PM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by comealongpole at 2:41 PM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
"All the leaves are brown," sang The Mamas & The Papas, "And the sky is grey!"
"Hallelujah!" thought Dan with relief.
posted by comealongpole at 3:02 PM on March 19, 2015
"Hallelujah!" thought Dan with relief.
posted by comealongpole at 3:02 PM on March 19, 2015
"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children," said Eric. "Do you understand? Morphine is bad for you."
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 4:43 PM on March 21, 2015
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 4:43 PM on March 21, 2015
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