The perfect tingler is about a dad hanging out and nothing bad happens.
April 3, 2015 5:59 PM Subscribe
According to his Twitter profile, Dr. Chuck Tingle is an erotic author and Tae Kwon Do grandmaster. He has a PhD from DeVry University in holistic massage.
He is also a prolific producer of self-published erotica on Amazon, notable for the recurring themes gay sex with dinosaurs , unicorns, surprisingly animate objects or even the protagonist's own ass.
Now, for the first time, we have Chuck Tingle talking about Chuck Tingle in his own words – if they are his own words. If he actually exists and isn't just a stock photo with a twitter account and a boundless erotic imagination.
He is also a prolific producer of self-published erotica on Amazon, notable for the recurring themes gay sex with dinosaurs , unicorns, surprisingly animate objects or even the protagonist's own ass.
Now, for the first time, we have Chuck Tingle talking about Chuck Tingle in his own words – if they are his own words. If he actually exists and isn't just a stock photo with a twitter account and a boundless erotic imagination.
BIGFOOTS. I forgot Bigfoots. :(
posted by murphy slaw at 6:06 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by murphy slaw at 6:06 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
I thought grandmasters were in chess, rap, or mystery writing, not Tae Kwon Do
posted by thelonius at 6:12 PM on April 3, 2015
posted by thelonius at 6:12 PM on April 3, 2015
Basically Donny’s boss, Tyson Rex, pulls out a contract that will allow the partners at the firm to “run a T-Rex gangbang train on Donny Sullivan’s gay human ass for the sum of ten million dollars even”
This needs J. Walter Weatherman to remind people why you should always read the contract.
posted by arcticseal at 6:22 PM on April 3, 2015 [7 favorites]
This needs J. Walter Weatherman to remind people why you should always read the contract.
posted by arcticseal at 6:22 PM on April 3, 2015 [7 favorites]
NSFW
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:23 PM on April 3, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:23 PM on April 3, 2015 [16 favorites]
I'm sorry, Chuck Tingle is no Max Wood. Chuck could never hope to even approach the awesomeness that is Wood's "Cheesy Puff Came to Life And Pimped My Gay Ass!" [NSFW?] or even "Probed Hard on The Planet of Gay Space Raptors" [NSFW]. Recently I have developed a bit of a hobby posting bizarre self-published erotica covers to Facebook.
posted by MikeMc at 6:32 PM on April 3, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by MikeMc at 6:32 PM on April 3, 2015 [6 favorites]
Very werid Twitter, or as I call it, my large knowledgeable sons.
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
thelonius: “I thought grandmasters were in chess, rap, or mystery writing, not Tae Kwon Do”
And I thought DeVry didn't offer Ph Ds, even in "holistic massage." Still pretty sure they don't, actually.
posted by koeselitz at 6:43 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
And I thought DeVry didn't offer Ph Ds, even in "holistic massage." Still pretty sure they don't, actually.
posted by koeselitz at 6:43 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
My latest story is called Bigfoot Sommelier Butt Tasting and the idea came from a wine shop in Billings. big man in there showing everyone bottles got me laughing and suddenly i felt a tingle coming on.
Wow. This is really interesting.
I'm serious, there's something really interesting about his writing. It is interesting in the way that the ramblings of mentally ill people can be interesting, the way their connections intrigue us because they are at a slight remove from what normal people would connect.
There's something about the way he says "and suddenly I felt a tingle coming on" that is amusing.
posted by jayder at 6:53 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wow. This is really interesting.
I'm serious, there's something really interesting about his writing. It is interesting in the way that the ramblings of mentally ill people can be interesting, the way their connections intrigue us because they are at a slight remove from what normal people would connect.
There's something about the way he says "and suddenly I felt a tingle coming on" that is amusing.
posted by jayder at 6:53 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm sorry but I can't leave this thread without at least mentioning a love story so fresh, so bold, so...something that I have to share it. It's the tale of young mother-to-be who finds out her wireless router is not only sentient but also a billionaire with a shaving fetish. I leave you with: Shaved by Wireless Internet (billionaire).
posted by MikeMc at 7:23 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by MikeMc at 7:23 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
I am sad that nobody yet has mentioned Dr. Tingle's most thoroughly proofread work, I'm Gay For My Living Billionaire Jet Plane.
The reviews are in:
I am, as always, utterly amazed at Mr. Tingle's... unique grasp of anatomy and physics. And complete lack of lube.
This is everything you could want from a gay billionaire jet plane lover.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 7:47 PM on April 3, 2015
The reviews are in:
I am, as always, utterly amazed at Mr. Tingle's... unique grasp of anatomy and physics. And complete lack of lube.
This is everything you could want from a gay billionaire jet plane lover.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 7:47 PM on April 3, 2015
y'all just wrecked my amazon history. thanks.
posted by mikurski at 8:01 PM on April 3, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by mikurski at 8:01 PM on April 3, 2015 [18 favorites]
You make me fingal, Tingle. Tingle, are you single? Give me a jingle!
posted by a lungful of dragon at 8:37 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 8:37 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Bigfoot Sommelier Butt Tasting
Got kind of a Kool Keith/Wesley Willis situation there that I'm enjoying.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:38 PM on April 3, 2015 [8 favorites]
Got kind of a Kool Keith/Wesley Willis situation there that I'm enjoying.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:38 PM on April 3, 2015 [8 favorites]
The stock photo makes him look like a cross between Andy Samberg and Scott Thompson. I can imagine those two teaming up to write these — Laser Cats meets Buddy Cole.
posted by not_on_display at 9:13 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by not_on_display at 9:13 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]
Divine_Wino: "Got kind of a Kool Keith/Wesley Willis situation there that I'm enjoying."
Me too, but I'm leery of it too for the same reason, Willis was schizophrenic and Kool Keith has apparently also had his share of mental problems. With Kool Keith, it's not so much a problem for me, because I genuinely enjoy his art, but in this case, and that of Wesley Willis, I'm a bit uncomfortable and wondering if I'm not just laughing at people with real issues.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:29 PM on April 3, 2015
Me too, but I'm leery of it too for the same reason, Willis was schizophrenic and Kool Keith has apparently also had his share of mental problems. With Kool Keith, it's not so much a problem for me, because I genuinely enjoy his art, but in this case, and that of Wesley Willis, I'm a bit uncomfortable and wondering if I'm not just laughing at people with real issues.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:29 PM on April 3, 2015
Chuck Tingle, if that is his real name, has 25 books out so far. If he's making ten bucks a day off of each of them, and that's a ludicrously conservative estimate, he's pulling in ninety grand a year before taxes.
That's not mental illness.
Love is real.
posted by MrVisible at 12:41 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
That's not mental illness.
Love is real.
posted by MrVisible at 12:41 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
Everything about this screams irony. Chuck Tingle is some knowing goofball having fun. Which makes it significantly less appealing.
posted by Alex Goldman at 2:29 AM on April 4, 2015
posted by Alex Goldman at 2:29 AM on April 4, 2015
Whether this is ironic or not it is delightful.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:55 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:55 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
I don't get a Wesley Willis vibe from this at all; it feels much too crafted and deliberate. Anyone who writes a book called Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt" clearly knows what they're doing. They may not have graduated middle school yet, but they know what they're doing.
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:00 AM on April 4, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:00 AM on April 4, 2015 [16 favorites]
Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"
We are, if you'll excuse the expression, down the rabbit hole.
posted by MrVisible at 6:27 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
We are, if you'll excuse the expression, down the rabbit hole.
posted by MrVisible at 6:27 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hornybourous?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:02 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:02 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
there's something very "Jeff Koons-meets-Horse-E-books" about this guy's career.
posted by jayder at 7:31 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jayder at 7:31 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Once again: I will never make any money in my life unless I could write gay raping buttsex dinosaur erotica. Excuse me while I start drinking at 9 a.m. now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:56 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:56 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
Pounded In a The Butt By A Raging Gay Whiskey Bottle, there You're halfway done
posted by The Whelk at 9:23 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:23 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
y'all just wrecked my amazon history. thanks.
1) When I first saw these I HAD to look them up and was sooooooo curious I wanted to buy one so "curiosity" battled it out with "amazon history". Curiosity won, and the second best thing about it was my husband's scream afterwards when he loaded our Amazon account webpage and saw the RECOMMENDED FOR YOU.
2) After that, the next time I saw my mom I asked her if she would like to read some erotica by a (relatively) local author and she said yes. She screamed when she saw the title, but she read the whole thing. Then we had a conversation like this:
Mom: This guy is really from Billings? Our Billings. Billings, Montana.
Me: I think so.
Mom: He advertises he's from Billings?
Me: Yep.
Mom: And nobody's, you know, found him and beat the shit out of him?
Me: Nope.
Mom: . . . I'm really worried somebody is going to find him and pound his ass.
Me: *fleet of giggles*
Mom: What?
posted by barchan at 9:39 AM on April 4, 2015 [16 favorites]
1) When I first saw these I HAD to look them up and was sooooooo curious I wanted to buy one so "curiosity" battled it out with "amazon history". Curiosity won, and the second best thing about it was my husband's scream afterwards when he loaded our Amazon account webpage and saw the RECOMMENDED FOR YOU.
2) After that, the next time I saw my mom I asked her if she would like to read some erotica by a (relatively) local author and she said yes. She screamed when she saw the title, but she read the whole thing. Then we had a conversation like this:
Mom: This guy is really from Billings? Our Billings. Billings, Montana.
Me: I think so.
Mom: He advertises he's from Billings?
Me: Yep.
Mom: And nobody's, you know, found him and beat the shit out of him?
Me: Nope.
Mom: . . . I'm really worried somebody is going to find him and pound his ass.
Me: *fleet of giggles*
Mom: What?
posted by barchan at 9:39 AM on April 4, 2015 [16 favorites]
Pounded In The Butt By A Mob Of Angry Moms From Billings Montana
posted by MrVisible at 9:48 AM on April 4, 2015 [31 favorites]
posted by MrVisible at 9:48 AM on April 4, 2015 [31 favorites]
I bet you thought all of this was for real.
Nope! Chuck Tingle.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:39 PM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]
Nope! Chuck Tingle.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:39 PM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]
Audio reading of Unicorn Butt Cops Beach Patrol
posted by daninnj at 7:53 PM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by daninnj at 7:53 PM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry, Chuck Tingle is no Max Wood.
Are you completely sure about that? There are certain subtle shared qualities that make me wonder whether the same deft hand is at work.
posted by gingerest at 9:49 PM on April 8, 2015
Are you completely sure about that? There are certain subtle shared qualities that make me wonder whether the same deft hand is at work.
posted by gingerest at 9:49 PM on April 8, 2015
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posted by howfar at 6:04 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]