The Hardee's-Carl's Jr. Line
April 23, 2015 4:03 PM Subscribe
If you live outside New England, you've probably seen some ridiculously oversexualized fast-food commercials from Hardee's, Carl's Jr., or both. This isn't some weird cooperation between chains -- the two are owned by the same parent corporation, CKE Restaurants. CKE was originally just Carl's Jr., but bought Hardee's in 1999, and decided not to rename the nearly 2,000 Hardee's locations, instead gradually merging menus and changing the Hardee's logo to the Carl's Jr. star. And so, there is a distinct northwest-southeast line between the two chains, with a surprisingly interesting story behind where the two franchises tend to cluster.
*whispers* Sizzzzzler!
posted by Fizz at 4:17 PM on April 23, 2015 [19 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 4:17 PM on April 23, 2015 [19 favorites]
Special sauce!
posted by chavenet at 4:17 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by chavenet at 4:17 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I always knew there was something not quite right about Oklahoma. Having Hardee's and Carl's Jr. in the same state ain't natural.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 4:18 PM on April 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by strangely stunted trees at 4:18 PM on April 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
If you live outside of New England inside the United States. FTFY
posted by bitslayer at 4:20 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by bitslayer at 4:20 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
As I smother these pork ribs with sauce, please view my own ribs, my flesh unmarred, untouched by the vicissitudes of age or charcoal grill. We are meat.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:23 PM on April 23, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:23 PM on April 23, 2015 [10 favorites]
Why not New England? Because chinese take-out and pizza parlors on every street corner, and seafood shacks and greasy spoons on every other corner. Sonic, Arby's, Checkers, Krystal, White Castle, Krispy Kreme, Chic-Fil-A, Jack in the Box and a crapton of other famous chains crash against the rocky shores of New England to sink unceremoniously. Panera Bread and Chipotle are the only "recent" (as in late '90s) chains to actually stick.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:26 PM on April 23, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:26 PM on April 23, 2015 [6 favorites]
Not counting Dunkin Donuts, which are so common they are often used as, and completely worthless for, landmarks.
"Turn left at the Dunkin Donuts"
"Which one?"
"The second one."
"The second one?"
"Well, the second one past Smithville Rd."
"The second one?"
"Yeah, where Bobby's used to be. Then it was Ray's. Then it burned down and was a parking lot for a while."
"Oh, that Dunkin Donuts!"
Also, that commercial was... unappealing. If I have to watch fast food commercials, at least let them be Jack in the Box.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:34 PM on April 23, 2015 [15 favorites]
"Turn left at the Dunkin Donuts"
"Which one?"
"The second one."
"The second one?"
"Well, the second one past Smithville Rd."
"The second one?"
"Yeah, where Bobby's used to be. Then it was Ray's. Then it burned down and was a parking lot for a while."
"Oh, that Dunkin Donuts!"
Also, that commercial was... unappealing. If I have to watch fast food commercials, at least let them be Jack in the Box.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:34 PM on April 23, 2015 [15 favorites]
Going into a Carl's Jr in California about ten years ago was definitely a parallel universe moment. I knew I'd never been in one before but somehow everything seemed very familiar. I wasn't until a while later that I found out that they were the same as Hardies.
Similar to the first time I saw a Dreyer's ice cream container after years of eating Edy's ice cream.
posted by octothorpe at 4:37 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Similar to the first time I saw a Dreyer's ice cream container after years of eating Edy's ice cream.
posted by octothorpe at 4:37 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Most of New England has had Arby's for a long time now... Rhode Island is the only exception that I know of to that. Chick-Fil-A is making inroads as well.
I was outside of New England last week and finally got to sample a Hardee's restaurant. It was not nearly as disappointing as Shoney's.
posted by inthe80s at 4:37 PM on April 23, 2015
I was outside of New England last week and finally got to sample a Hardee's restaurant. It was not nearly as disappointing as Shoney's.
posted by inthe80s at 4:37 PM on April 23, 2015
That Big Sausage Breakfast one is waaaay over the top. If that is actually on television at all they must have to wait until the kiddies are asleep before airing that one. On further review, I see that it is a parody. [Emily Litella voice:] "Nevermind!"
posted by spock at 4:40 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by spock at 4:40 PM on April 23, 2015
"Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr."
I'm not sure it works if you substitute Hardee's.
posted by HillbillyInBC at 4:41 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure it works if you substitute Hardee's.
posted by HillbillyInBC at 4:41 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
What the hell did I just watch no no no unsee unsee unsee so wrong how did Rule 34 people get put in charge of burger advertising?
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:43 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:43 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Things may well have changed, but the only fast food breakfast sandwiches that could ever steal my love from McDonalds were fresh Hardees breakfast sandwiches.
This ad annoys the hell out of me, but there was a time when I lived in a town where the main Hardees was one of the better places to eat. I could see myself eating the hell out of that burger on a special occasion.
posted by wotsac at 4:43 PM on April 23, 2015
This ad annoys the hell out of me, but there was a time when I lived in a town where the main Hardees was one of the better places to eat. I could see myself eating the hell out of that burger on a special occasion.
posted by wotsac at 4:43 PM on April 23, 2015
I moved from Carl's territory to Hardee's recently, and while I would occasionally get a hankerin' for Carl's, I've gone to Hardee's a couple times recently and just haven't been to interested in what they have. The only reason I went to Carl's in the first place was the Western Bacon cheeseburger, which Hardee's doesn't serve, so, meh.
posted by LionIndex at 4:44 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by LionIndex at 4:44 PM on April 23, 2015
Rhode Island is a wasteland for big chains. I think because it is the smallest state; I imagine that going into a new state is a big deal, legally speaking. We just got our first Chick-fil-A about a year ago.
OTOH, I never had to think about a Fried Bologna and Velveeta Biscuit until I visited my folks in the South either.
posted by JDHarper at 4:46 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
OTOH, I never had to think about a Fried Bologna and Velveeta Biscuit until I visited my folks in the South either.
posted by JDHarper at 4:46 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I miss real Hardee's.
When they were bought out, they were renamed to "Carl's Jr." for a while, but I suppose the people in charge didn't want to lose that brand name loyalty, so they changed it back to Hardee's. It's not the same recipes as it used to be.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 4:51 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
When they were bought out, they were renamed to "Carl's Jr." for a while, but I suppose the people in charge didn't want to lose that brand name loyalty, so they changed it back to Hardee's. It's not the same recipes as it used to be.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 4:51 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
(A Swiss exchange student took the place of my best friend while she was in Switzerland during my junior year of high school. Claudio wanted to experience EVERYTHING American had to offer, and - though I couldn't tell him where to get "homey-G" clothes - I could give him the ultimate high school experience. I took Claudio to his and my first football game. I took Claudio to homecoming and school dances and pep rallies, the Mall of New Hampshire, and the Red Arrow Diner and drove him all over Manchester, NH trying to be as exhaustive as possible. Parts of Manchester do have an abundance of funeral homes, which he eventually noticed. "What is a fun-er-all home?" he asked me, perplexed. "They are on every corner, like a Dunkin Donuts!")
posted by ChuraChura at 4:58 PM on April 23, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 4:58 PM on April 23, 2015 [16 favorites]
That is totally karmic justice for what Hardees did to Roy Rogers in their previous attempt to expand out of the south.
They bought the mid-atlantic based Roy Rogers chain in 1990 and made them all Hardees, and again realized eventually that Roys customers didn't want to go to Hardees - they wanted to go to Roy's. So they changed them back two years later. Then they bailed and sold the Roy's stores off in chunks through the mid-90s and then they got eaten by Carl's.
All this has happened before, and will happen again.
posted by Naberius at 5:00 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
They bought the mid-atlantic based Roy Rogers chain in 1990 and made them all Hardees, and again realized eventually that Roys customers didn't want to go to Hardees - they wanted to go to Roy's. So they changed them back two years later. Then they bailed and sold the Roy's stores off in chunks through the mid-90s and then they got eaten by Carl's.
All this has happened before, and will happen again.
posted by Naberius at 5:00 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Wait, so if they didn't rename any restaurants, why do I remember Hardee's being around in my hometown growing up but now there are only Carl's Jr's? I know Oklahoma's weird, as noted above, but in at least some cases they had to have just rebranded existing stores.
posted by downtohisturtles at 5:06 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by downtohisturtles at 5:06 PM on April 23, 2015
I remember when those sexualized ads started showing up on TV in the midwest. There were a lot of really, really angry people, particularly since the ads were so gross and sleazy.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:18 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:18 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
If that is actually on television at all they must have to wait until the kiddies are asleep before airing that one.
Viagra advertises during sporting events in the middle of the afternoon, and their ads are getting less subtle over time. Eventually they'll probably start using visual metaphors, if not diagrams. And they're even more awkward to watch with company than Carl's Jr's actual ads.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 5:20 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Viagra advertises during sporting events in the middle of the afternoon, and their ads are getting less subtle over time. Eventually they'll probably start using visual metaphors, if not diagrams. And they're even more awkward to watch with company than Carl's Jr's actual ads.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 5:20 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I always twitch at the name "Carl's Jr," thinking that they meant to name it "Carl Jr.'s." Turns out the original Carl's Jr. was in fact a smaller version of Carl's Drive-In. Huh.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:21 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:21 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Why not New England?
Connecticut has Italian restaurants. Lots. And. Lots. Of. Italian. ... Restaurants. ... >Sigh<
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:22 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Connecticut has Italian restaurants. Lots. And. Lots. Of. Italian. ... Restaurants. ... >Sigh<
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:22 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Carl's Jr. ads are often really vile, with this palpable contempt for the demographic they're trying to reach. A lot of their ads feature boobie girls jiggling around on the floor like chicks in a Whitesnake video, or occasionally gross and really unappetizing stuff, but they did one unforgettable ad that was basically a big unmitigated "we hate you" to the guys they assume eat there. This stubbly, schlubby guy was staggering around in the bread aisle at the supermarket, poking at the loafs like a big, lost, hairy toddler wandering around without his mama. (There is no overstating how clueless and pitiful this guy looked.) Finally he just shuffled away, totally overwhelmed. The implication being that he was incapable of navigating the complexities of shopping to feed himself, so he should just stagger into a Carl's Jr. and they would stuff him full of meat. Their ads manage to be misogynistic and misandrist. Idiocracy featured a quick gag where the futuristic society had Carl's Jr. vending machines, and when you'd buy something a robot voice would say, "Carl's Jr! Fuck you!" That was so spot-on.
All that being said, Carl's seems surprisingly committed to healthier options than most fast food places. You can get turkey burgers, for instance, or burgers served in lettuce wraps. (They taste OK that way, but be prepared to feel hungry again half an hour after you eat.) These aren't secret options, it's right there on the menu. It's weird. Everything about Carl's screams, YOU ARE A FAT GROSS STUPID MALE AND WE HATE YOU NOW GIVE US YOUR MONEY AND GET AWAY FROM OUR SIGHT, but then they offer stuff you'd probably only want if you were watching your waistline. Their ads make it clear that you're a total pussy unless you eat the fattiest, sloppiest burgers without giving a care to your arteries, but then at the same time they're one of the few chains even offering lettuce wraps and stuff.
Their food's honestly not bad. Their ad agency needs to be taken out back and horsewhipped.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:26 PM on April 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
All that being said, Carl's seems surprisingly committed to healthier options than most fast food places. You can get turkey burgers, for instance, or burgers served in lettuce wraps. (They taste OK that way, but be prepared to feel hungry again half an hour after you eat.) These aren't secret options, it's right there on the menu. It's weird. Everything about Carl's screams, YOU ARE A FAT GROSS STUPID MALE AND WE HATE YOU NOW GIVE US YOUR MONEY AND GET AWAY FROM OUR SIGHT, but then they offer stuff you'd probably only want if you were watching your waistline. Their ads make it clear that you're a total pussy unless you eat the fattiest, sloppiest burgers without giving a care to your arteries, but then at the same time they're one of the few chains even offering lettuce wraps and stuff.
Their food's honestly not bad. Their ad agency needs to be taken out back and horsewhipped.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:26 PM on April 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
I actually kind of miss the Carl's Jr. Jr. on the corner of Highland and Sunset. That's right, it was a mini version of the mini version of Carl's Drive-In.
posted by infinitewindow at 5:46 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 5:46 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
CKE Restaurants also owns a chain of Mexican restaurants called Red Burrito.
And another one called Green Burrito.
Guess how that works?
posted by delfin at 5:47 PM on April 23, 2015
And another one called Green Burrito.
Guess how that works?
posted by delfin at 5:47 PM on April 23, 2015
One of the subjects of Paris is Burning describes how ze would "mop" (steal) food from pre-CKE Hardee's when they had the food out in the open.
Carl Karcher was a notorious anti-choicer.
posted by brujita at 5:48 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Carl Karcher was a notorious anti-choicer.
posted by brujita at 5:48 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Wait, so if they didn't rename any restaurants, why do I remember Hardee's being around in my hometown growing up but now there are only Carl's Jr's? I know Oklahoma's weird, as noted above, but in at least some cases they had to have just rebranded existing stores."
I remember a Hardee's in Albuquerque in the 80s, and I am pretty sure that there was a Hardee's in Austin in the mid-90s. But the ABQ Hardee's disappeared long before that 1998 buyout and I might be wrong about the Austin one. Either way, though, it's almost certainly the case that Hardee's had expanded or attempted to expand into the west but then retreated a long time before the merger. So there are memories of Hardee's in the west but those probably weren't stores that became Carl's Jr.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:57 PM on April 23, 2015
I remember a Hardee's in Albuquerque in the 80s, and I am pretty sure that there was a Hardee's in Austin in the mid-90s. But the ABQ Hardee's disappeared long before that 1998 buyout and I might be wrong about the Austin one. Either way, though, it's almost certainly the case that Hardee's had expanded or attempted to expand into the west but then retreated a long time before the merger. So there are memories of Hardee's in the west but those probably weren't stores that became Carl's Jr.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:57 PM on April 23, 2015
The Frisco Burger may not be their biggest, most overloaded burger, but it's the apex of "oh god I shouldn't be eating this but I can't stop" fast food. It's griddled on the outside, so you get a thin sheen of oil all over your hands. You can't tell where the massive amount of mayo ends and the melty white cheese begins. Its only flavor components are OVERWHELMING amounts of salt and fat, and a tiny acidic zing from the mayo and sour-ish dough bread. And you will feel awful for the rest of the day after eating it, and you know this before you order it, but that doesn't stop you.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:00 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by jason_steakums at 6:00 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
My question is, do they use Hellman's on their burgers, or Best Foods?
posted by darksasami at 6:03 PM on April 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by darksasami at 6:03 PM on April 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wow that ad. I watch porn less porny than that.
Meanwhile, Jack in the Box ads practically show close ups of people blowing weed smoke into the camera lens.
What is happening to this world???!!!
/old person
posted by latkes at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Meanwhile, Jack in the Box ads practically show close ups of people blowing weed smoke into the camera lens.
What is happening to this world???!!!
/old person
posted by latkes at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm pretty sure it's something like that Sysco heavy duty mayo, and they do not fuck around when they put it on something. They slather mayo on a burger like they're packing grease into a wheel bearing on a semi.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:10 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by jason_steakums at 6:10 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, that was some great cartography in that last link. Really cool post.
posted by latkes at 6:11 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by latkes at 6:11 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
CKE was originally just Carl's Jr., but bought Hardee's in 1999, and decided not to rename the nearly 2,000 Hardee's locations, instead gradually merging menus and changing the Hardee's logo to the Carl's Jr. star.
I don't get this statement. So technically the old Hardee's restaurants are still Hardee's but now they wear the Carl's Jr. signage like a mask or something?
Wait, so if they didn't rename any restaurants, why do I remember Hardee's being around in my hometown growing up but now there are only Carl's Jr's? I know Oklahoma's weird, as noted above, but in at least some cases they had to have just rebranded existing stores.
I agree. In the Phoenix area I remember when the Hardee's all seemed to disappear overnight and then Carl's Jr. restaurants showed up in the same places. That's why I thought Hardee's had simply changed their name.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:14 PM on April 23, 2015
I don't get this statement. So technically the old Hardee's restaurants are still Hardee's but now they wear the Carl's Jr. signage like a mask or something?
Wait, so if they didn't rename any restaurants, why do I remember Hardee's being around in my hometown growing up but now there are only Carl's Jr's? I know Oklahoma's weird, as noted above, but in at least some cases they had to have just rebranded existing stores.
I agree. In the Phoenix area I remember when the Hardee's all seemed to disappear overnight and then Carl's Jr. restaurants showed up in the same places. That's why I thought Hardee's had simply changed their name.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:14 PM on April 23, 2015
Hardee's had its own menu and layout before CKE took over.
posted by brujita at 6:25 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by brujita at 6:25 PM on April 23, 2015
Most of New England has had Arby's for a long time now
One in Waltham and one at the Rt. 95 rest stop in CT does not a presence make.
Subway, now. I can walk to a Subway from work. I work in the middle of nowhere, literally nothing but woods and trailer parks, mostly woods, for miles and miles, but there's a self-storage place, a pizza parlor, a Chinese take-away and a Subway within walking distance.
Hell, the tiny seaside town I live in has 0 McDonalds, 0 BKs, nevermind Wendy's or Taco Bell... but we got a Subway. (Also five pizza places, two Chinese take-outs, three seafood shacks, four greasy spoons, and two fine dining spots that are really good.)
New Englanders likes'm a sub sangweech.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:25 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
One in Waltham and one at the Rt. 95 rest stop in CT does not a presence make.
Subway, now. I can walk to a Subway from work. I work in the middle of nowhere, literally nothing but woods and trailer parks, mostly woods, for miles and miles, but there's a self-storage place, a pizza parlor, a Chinese take-away and a Subway within walking distance.
Hell, the tiny seaside town I live in has 0 McDonalds, 0 BKs, nevermind Wendy's or Taco Bell... but we got a Subway. (Also five pizza places, two Chinese take-outs, three seafood shacks, four greasy spoons, and two fine dining spots that are really good.)
New Englanders likes'm a sub sangweech.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:25 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'd rather Rax.
posted by lagomorphius at 6:38 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 6:38 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
boobie girls jiggling around on the floor like chicks in a Whitesnake video
Let me feel my ooooooaaaats!
posted by en forme de poire at 6:38 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Let me feel my ooooooaaaats!
posted by en forme de poire at 6:38 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Subway is everywhere. There are small towns in Oklahoma where the only restaurant is a Subway. Which is surprising, since Sonic is based in Oklahoma and has long been a small town thing, so you'd think that Sonic would have beaten them to the punch.
BTW, I have been to both the Carl's Jr. in Talequah and the Hardee's in Siloam Springs, although never on the same day. The only reason I've ever been to Carl's Jr. is for the breakfast, though. Their biscuits and gravy are by far the best served by any fast food place, mainly because their biscuits don't suck. (Someone comes in at 3AM to start making the biscuits from scratch)
Many Carl's Jr. and some Hardee's locations serve the burrito items as well. They'll have a sign below the main branding with Green Burrito or Red Burrito on it. Supposedly they aren't half bad.
posted by wierdo at 6:40 PM on April 23, 2015
BTW, I have been to both the Carl's Jr. in Talequah and the Hardee's in Siloam Springs, although never on the same day. The only reason I've ever been to Carl's Jr. is for the breakfast, though. Their biscuits and gravy are by far the best served by any fast food place, mainly because their biscuits don't suck. (Someone comes in at 3AM to start making the biscuits from scratch)
Many Carl's Jr. and some Hardee's locations serve the burrito items as well. They'll have a sign below the main branding with Green Burrito or Red Burrito on it. Supposedly they aren't half bad.
posted by wierdo at 6:40 PM on April 23, 2015
Hardee's doesn't have the Bacon Western Cheeseburger. Fuck those dudes.
posted by jscalzi at 6:42 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by jscalzi at 6:42 PM on April 23, 2015
The Frisco Burger may not be their biggest, most overloaded burger, but it's the apex of "oh god I shouldn't be eating this but I can't stop" fast food. It's griddled on the outside, so you get a thin sheen of oil all over your hands. You can't tell where the massive amount of mayo ends and the melty white cheese begins. Its only flavor components are OVERWHELMING amounts of salt and fat, and a tiny acidic zing from the mayo and sour-ish dough bread. And you will feel awful for the rest of the day after eating it, and you know this before you order it, but that doesn't stop you.
Oh God. I'm hard right now.
posted by rankfreudlite at 6:45 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
There used to be an Arby's in Dedham on Rt 1, I think.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:54 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by Rock Steady at 6:54 PM on April 23, 2015
Any southern MeFites remember when Hardee's sold fried chicken and hot dogs? I miss the hell out of those, along with the chicken fried steak and gravy biscuit. Who needs working arteries anyway?
posted by infinitewindow at 7:04 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 7:04 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
CKE Restaurants also owns a chain of Mexican restaurants called Red Burrito. And another one called Green Burrito.
Guess how that works?
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You eat at Green Burrito - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You eat at Red Burrito - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
posted by Naberius at 7:05 PM on April 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
Guess how that works?
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You eat at Green Burrito - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You eat at Red Burrito - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
posted by Naberius at 7:05 PM on April 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
Carl Karcher's daughters went to my tiny Catholic girls school (before my time). He paid to refurb our library. Their waffle fries are good.
posted by dame at 7:10 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by dame at 7:10 PM on April 23, 2015
And you will feel awful for the rest of the day after eating it, and you know this before you order it, but that doesn't stop you.
posted by jason_steakums
Epony-something-something.
posted by slogger at 7:10 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by jason_steakums
Epony-something-something.
posted by slogger at 7:10 PM on April 23, 2015
Ah, the Arby's on Rte. 1. It was actually just over the line in West Roxbury. After it closed, it became a Dunkin' Donuts - probably the only frickin' Dunkin' Donuts in all of Boston that ever shut down, if you don't include the one in the Government Center MBTA station that closed because the whole subway station was demolished to make way for a new station.
Now it's a Bagelville, which doesn't seem like it's too long for this world, either, next to the McDonald's, across the street from where the other McDonald's used to be (West Roxbury: Formerly Home of the Two McDonald's Across the Street from Each Other). The closed McDonald's was on a site now slated to become a kosher hotel with a glatt kosher restaurant, which, if you know anything about West Roxbury, is kind of a hard concept to come to grips with.
Also in that stretch: The only Taco Bell in all of Boston.
posted by adamg at 7:18 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Now it's a Bagelville, which doesn't seem like it's too long for this world, either, next to the McDonald's, across the street from where the other McDonald's used to be (West Roxbury: Formerly Home of the Two McDonald's Across the Street from Each Other). The closed McDonald's was on a site now slated to become a kosher hotel with a glatt kosher restaurant, which, if you know anything about West Roxbury, is kind of a hard concept to come to grips with.
Also in that stretch: The only Taco Bell in all of Boston.
posted by adamg at 7:18 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Burger Chef, of blessed memory, was another chain that was bought up and degraded into Hardee's.
posted by in278s at 7:20 PM on April 23, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by in278s at 7:20 PM on April 23, 2015 [6 favorites]
Hardee's biscuits are probably the best fast food breakfast in the United States. Carl's Jr. brought no products of value to the operation, but if the alternative was no more Hardee's biscuits, it was worth it.
posted by enjoymoreradio at 7:43 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by enjoymoreradio at 7:43 PM on April 23, 2015
BIG ASS FRIES
posted by sourwookie at 7:50 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 7:50 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
The Hardee's-Carl's Jr. Line
When I'm looking for food, all Hardees (and Carls) are on the other side from where I 'draw the line'.
posted by Herodios at 7:53 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
When I'm looking for food, all Hardees (and Carls) are on the other side from where I 'draw the line'.
posted by Herodios at 7:53 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I call shenanigans on that ad! Any flame that could grill a burger is highly inappropriate for cooking a pork shoulder! And was anyone else bothered that the pork shoulder was on an open grill, rather than covered to retain heat?
posted by sourwookie at 7:54 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 7:54 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
The ads are vile. I'm no prude but I sincerely find them embarrassing to watch. The implied equivalence between human beings and piles of squirming meat has the opposite of the intended effect. The implied stupidity of the audience is offensive. It's crap on every level.
posted by ephemerae at 8:10 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by ephemerae at 8:10 PM on April 23, 2015
Look at that bright beacon of red in Indianapolis! We are old Hardee's true spiritual home. Frisco FTW.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:30 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by leotrotsky at 8:30 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh and now I want to change my username to Squirming Meatpile.
posted by ephemerae at 8:41 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by ephemerae at 8:41 PM on April 23, 2015
It's actually a recreation of an identical scene from an episode of The Big Valley. It was much better when Barbara Stanwyk and Linda Evans did it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:45 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:45 PM on April 23, 2015
Burger Chef, of blessed memory
Pete Campbell certainly liked it.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:47 PM on April 23, 2015
Pete Campbell certainly liked it.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:47 PM on April 23, 2015
Yeah, the bikini-model-girls-unhinging-their-jaws-to-eat-an-oversized-burger-while-dripping-sauce-on-themselves ads are eight kinds of ick. I miss the milkshake guy.
posted by mon-ma-tron at 8:57 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by mon-ma-tron at 8:57 PM on April 23, 2015
I really kind of dig that there are still regional differences in chains, even though it's mostly for food that's bad for you. When I was a kid, we would visit relatives in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, which is right across a canal (which connects Lake Superior with Lake Huron) from Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, and it was something of a revelation that there were different brands up there than we had in Illinois or Wisconsin--for all I knew, they could have been Canadian. Later in life, I was fascinated by these regional brands that Stephen King would casually mention in his books, as if everyone across America ate Table Talk pies and then used the empty tins as ashtrays. I was bummed that Carl's Jr. bought out Hardee's, because that meant that they were serving the same food so what was the point of going to California and eating at a Carl's Jr. to see if it was as good as Fast Times At Ridgemont High (the book, not the movie) made it sound. Nobody had better do the same to In-N-Out, damnit.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:12 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:12 PM on April 23, 2015
Bojangles doesn't resort to these miserable advertising tactics, do they?
posted by oceanjesse at 9:15 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by oceanjesse at 9:15 PM on April 23, 2015
Burger Chef, of blessed memory
OK. You're a real little kid. You have to not-fidget at most places your parents eat. Two exceptions. You got the McDonalds, which has this sad little square cardboard bucket, with a tiny little something inside aside the waxpaper-wrapped food-alike...
Orrrrrr...
Yout have this AWESOME racecar, just like a Funnycar dragster, you can lift the lid off it, and there's a burger and fries inside and a comic book... and YOU CAN TAKE THE DRAGRACER HOME! Provided Mom doesn't break the plastic in the sink washing the fast food stink off it. But we can always go back to Burger Chef! I have a lot of "A" letters on the report card, you don't have to fight to see who goes to talk to the teacher! BURGER CHEF!
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:19 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
OK. You're a real little kid. You have to not-fidget at most places your parents eat. Two exceptions. You got the McDonalds, which has this sad little square cardboard bucket, with a tiny little something inside aside the waxpaper-wrapped food-alike...
Orrrrrr...
Yout have this AWESOME racecar, just like a Funnycar dragster, you can lift the lid off it, and there's a burger and fries inside and a comic book... and YOU CAN TAKE THE DRAGRACER HOME! Provided Mom doesn't break the plastic in the sink washing the fast food stink off it. But we can always go back to Burger Chef! I have a lot of "A" letters on the report card, you don't have to fight to see who goes to talk to the teacher! BURGER CHEF!
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:19 PM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
There was a point when there weren't McDonald's everywhere out in the Atlanta 'burbs. The only fast-food place near us was a Hardee's. I have this vague memory of them having a promotion involving some kind of Ed Roth version of Halloween monsters. They also had the best breakfast biscuits for a while. Mrs. Winners overtook them, but now there is only Bojangles.
posted by ob1quixote at 9:56 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by ob1quixote at 9:56 PM on April 23, 2015
Bacon Western Cheeseburger (and criss-cut fries) are the only reason to ever eat at a place like this, so I don't get this Hardee's thing at all.
posted by cj_ at 10:30 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by cj_ at 10:30 PM on April 23, 2015
Let me get this right: this stuff plays in the deep Bible Belt? I'm confused.
posted by zaelic at 12:10 AM on April 24, 2015
posted by zaelic at 12:10 AM on April 24, 2015
OH CHRIST I JUST REALIZED IT'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE A CUM SHOT
going to have my vagina paved over brb
posted by louche mustachio at 2:25 AM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
going to have my vagina paved over brb
posted by louche mustachio at 2:25 AM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
One in Waltham and one at the Rt. 95 rest stop in CT does not a presence make.
There... might be one in Providence? There are, I think, two Mcdonalds here, and I am always vaguely puzzled when I see the one by the pet store. "What is that logo?" I think. It's one of the nicer parts of RI, the lack of fast food. It makes up for the coffeemilk.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:23 AM on April 24, 2015
There... might be one in Providence? There are, I think, two Mcdonalds here, and I am always vaguely puzzled when I see the one by the pet store. "What is that logo?" I think. It's one of the nicer parts of RI, the lack of fast food. It makes up for the coffeemilk.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:23 AM on April 24, 2015
There was a point when there weren't McDonald's everywhere out in the Atlanta 'burbs.
A small price to pay for living in a city with Zesto's.
posted by thelonius at 5:54 AM on April 24, 2015
A small price to pay for living in a city with Zesto's.
posted by thelonius at 5:54 AM on April 24, 2015
If you live outside New England, you've probably seen some ridiculously oversexualized fast-food commercials yt from Hardee's, Carl's Jr., or both.
I live outside New England, I had not.
But I think this blew oversexualised off the Simpson Scale *and* the Fox Scale for over-sexualisation.
Although, I am now curious about what such a burger would taste like.
And why, with such a huge BBQ, they couldn't share.
posted by Mezentian at 6:12 AM on April 24, 2015
I live outside New England, I had not.
But I think this blew oversexualised off the Simpson Scale *and* the Fox Scale for over-sexualisation.
Although, I am now curious about what such a burger would taste like.
And why, with such a huge BBQ, they couldn't share.
posted by Mezentian at 6:12 AM on April 24, 2015
Any southern MeFites remember when Hardee's sold fried chicken and hot dogs? I miss the hell out of those, along with the chicken fried steak and gravy biscuit. Who needs working arteries anyway?
posted by infinitewindow at 10:04 PM on April 23
Yes! I was about to say this. I miss that Hardee's. At least it was different from the standard burger place fare. Also, the Frisco burger was no good, but the Frisco breakfast sandwich? Delicious.
That said, I also am harboring some resentment at Hardee's for taking over the local chain with the unfortunate name of "Skats" (For a while they called it a "Hardee's Skat Thru," but that branding went away eventually). I remember loving that place, although I was like eight so the food was probably terrible. So if you ever find yourself eating at the Hardee's at the corner of Ten Ten Road and 401 in Garner, NC (I do not recommend this), remember the Skats.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:23 AM on April 24, 2015
posted by infinitewindow at 10:04 PM on April 23
Yes! I was about to say this. I miss that Hardee's. At least it was different from the standard burger place fare. Also, the Frisco burger was no good, but the Frisco breakfast sandwich? Delicious.
That said, I also am harboring some resentment at Hardee's for taking over the local chain with the unfortunate name of "Skats" (For a while they called it a "Hardee's Skat Thru," but that branding went away eventually). I remember loving that place, although I was like eight so the food was probably terrible. So if you ever find yourself eating at the Hardee's at the corner of Ten Ten Road and 401 in Garner, NC (I do not recommend this), remember the Skats.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:23 AM on April 24, 2015
Why not New England? Because chinese take-out and pizza parlors on every street corner, and seafood shacks and greasy spoons on every other corner. Sonic, Arby's, Checkers, Krystal, White Castle, Krispy Kreme, Chic-Fil-A, Jack in the Box and a crapton of other famous chains crash against the rocky shores of New England to sink unceremoniously. Panera Bread and Chipotle are the only "recent" (as in late '90s) chains to actually stick.
Arby's's are plentiful in Maine. We also got 5 Guys & Firehouse Subs now.
posted by JanetLand at 6:24 AM on April 24, 2015
Arby's's are plentiful in Maine. We also got 5 Guys & Firehouse Subs now.
posted by JanetLand at 6:24 AM on April 24, 2015
(Someone comes in at 3AM to start making the biscuits from scratch)
When they introduced the fresh biscuits out west, all their employees wore shirts that said "WE WAKE AND BAKE EVERY MORNING". God I wanted one of those shirts!
posted by InfidelZombie at 9:46 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
When they introduced the fresh biscuits out west, all their employees wore shirts that said "WE WAKE AND BAKE EVERY MORNING". God I wanted one of those shirts!
posted by InfidelZombie at 9:46 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
thelonius: “A small price to pay for living in a city with Zesto's.”There weren't any of those out in the 'burbs either though. Dad's company was down in Buckhead though, when there was still light industrial in the area. (Hell, the flea market was still open then.) So I got to eat there all the time during the summer when I would work there.
posted by ob1quixote at 11:36 AM on April 24, 2015
If you live outside New England, you've probably seen some ridiculously oversexualized fast-food commercials
TV consumption in our house is 99% Netflix, but my seven-year-old son and I were watching the rare Giants game over the air from the HD antenna this week. One of those commercials came on and my son let out an "EWWWW!"
"What, that doesn't look like a good burger?" I asked. "No, the girl eating it hardly has any clothes on!"
posted by DakotaPaul at 4:04 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
TV consumption in our house is 99% Netflix, but my seven-year-old son and I were watching the rare Giants game over the air from the HD antenna this week. One of those commercials came on and my son let out an "EWWWW!"
"What, that doesn't look like a good burger?" I asked. "No, the girl eating it hardly has any clothes on!"
posted by DakotaPaul at 4:04 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
OH CHRIST I JUST REALIZED IT'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE A CUM SHOT
Even fast food deserves a happy ending.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:26 AM on April 25, 2015
Even fast food deserves a happy ending.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:26 AM on April 25, 2015
I went to highschool in Rocky Mount, NC, original home of the Hardee's HQ, in a time and social class where neither I nor most of my friends had regular access to the Internet. I considered myself a pretty worldly and well-informed teen and young adult, but when I left home at 18 and discovered that the Hardee's/McDonalds dichotomy (that is, where your fast food options are basically Hardee's or McDonalds or drive 20 miles for something fancy like Wendy's or Taco Bell) didn't exist in the rest of the country, I was pretty shocked.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:39 PM on April 25, 2015
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:39 PM on April 25, 2015
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