Cow escapes slaughterhouse

February 19, 2002 10:19 AM

Cow escapes slaughterhouse by scaling 6' fence and remains "at large" here in Cincinnati - this is too silly to make up. The good news is the cow doens't go back when it's found, dozens of people have put thier names in to take the fugitive cow in.
posted by Dome-O-Rama (53 comments total)

My dad grew up on a farm in Massachusetts. They had a cow named Bessie that regularly jumped fences. No foolin'.
posted by starvingartist at 10:21 AM on February 19, 2002

So the cow is on the lam?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:28 AM on February 19, 2002

Yeah, udderly weird, huh? Maybe they can use a cattle call to get it back. Only if they buy a good brand, tho.
posted by starvingartist at 10:30 AM on February 19, 2002

sorry. My brother made me do it.
posted by starvingartist at 10:30 AM on February 19, 2002

Puns are the work of the devil. You should be ashamed.

What I want to know is:
Searchers set up a bait cow...

Bait cow?
...
?
posted by malphigian at 10:34 AM on February 19, 2002

To paraphrase an ex-girlfriend of mine, if puns were the work of the devil, they'd be funnier.
posted by starvingartist at 10:36 AM on February 19, 2002

They really oughta slaughter it. It sets a bad precedent. If we let one get away with this, pretty soon they'll all be doing it. We'll soon be overrun with loose heifers.
posted by pekar wood at 10:38 AM on February 19, 2002

fraternizing with silverware, jumping over the moon, i tellya, bovines today just got no respect.
posted by quonsar at 10:42 AM on February 19, 2002

Go, cow, go!
posted by Red58 at 10:43 AM on February 19, 2002

Run, cow...Ruuuuunnnnnn.
posted by aacheson at 10:44 AM on February 19, 2002

They can't find it - I guess that means that cow's one hell of a moo-ver, eh?
posted by starvingartist at 10:46 AM on February 19, 2002

Maybe some one who grew up on a farm can address this - SIX FOOT FENCE?? That sounds kinda unbelievable to me. If it's true, they should put the cow in a circus when they find it. The boring truth is probably a hole or a low point in the fence. Or maybe it's the cow from KUNG POW, the movie.
posted by tdismukes at 10:48 AM on February 19, 2002

Upon further research, it appears the precedent has already been set. See Emily the cow Looks like we're in big trouble folks.
posted by pekar wood at 10:58 AM on February 19, 2002

must... kill... starvingartist...
posted by malphigian at 11:03 AM on February 19, 2002

What is a bait cow made out of? Fresh grass clippings? Cheese? A cow-shaped salt lick? I'm getting nothing here.
posted by mathowie at 11:06 AM on February 19, 2002

sorry, malphigian. I'm going to milk this one for all it's worth. (thanks to my bro for that one)
posted by starvingartist at 11:16 AM on February 19, 2002

All I can say is Cow launched
posted by drezdn at 11:18 AM on February 19, 2002

A cow on the loose in porkopolis, must remember to be careful on my drive home tonight.
posted by Mick at 11:33 AM on February 19, 2002

you do realize of course the implications of what's happening right?

this cow is craftier than the average cow, and because of this, it will survive the slaughterhouse, and go on to breed...

which means cows will become smarter...

OMG. COWS ARE EVOLVING INTO SUPERIOR BEINGS!

_{but then they'll invent a bovine internet, start making blogs, and its downhill from there...}
posted by jcterminal at 11:35 AM on February 19, 2002

She probably uses her horns when she's on the road.
posted by etc. at 11:39 AM on February 19, 2002

Launchez la vache!
posted by thebigpoop at 11:42 AM on February 19, 2002

Launchez la vache!
posted by thebigpoop at 11:48 AM on February 19, 2002

If we don't kill this cow and have a big ol' BBQ then the cows have already won.
posted by bondcliff at 11:49 AM on February 19, 2002

Where's the beef?
posted by sacre_bleu at 11:49 AM on February 19, 2002

thebigpoop: Quoi?
posted by starvingartist at 12:01 PM on February 19, 2002

Speaking of bait cows, I read an article in some outdoor/greenies magazine about cows eating fish.

Seems that BC cows will wade into creeks during the fall and eat the spawning salmon. Too bizarre.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:02 PM on February 19, 2002

I want to be the first to write an article about cow-blogs.
posted by kahboom at 12:02 PM on February 19, 2002

This cow isn't clever, it's just jumping on the bandwagon to freedom along with: Terence the turkey, The Lion of Kabul, Phoenix the Calf, The Tamworth Two and many more..."
posted by niceness at 12:05 PM on February 19, 2002

So, is this a coward? Running way and all...*gah*
posted by dabitch at 12:11 PM on February 19, 2002

This only proves that cows really do belong in the wild.
posted by homunculus at 12:28 PM on February 19, 2002

Launchez la vache
posted by dchase at 12:54 PM on February 19, 2002

dchase, now I have to clean my keyboard! Funny pic!
posted by bjgeiger at 1:00 PM on February 19, 2002

I saw the cow doing a beer bong at a frat house on Clifton Avenue this weekend. She said she's headed for Indiana, where she'll play the nickel slots on the gambling boats.

Really, it's pretty embarrassing that no one in this city can find a damn cow prowling the streets.
posted by keli at 1:24 PM on February 19, 2002

Does this answer your question, Matt?
posted by adampsyche at 1:33 PM on February 19, 2002

No two set of BullsBalls, are the same, some more wrinkled.

ha, HA!
posted by schlaager at 2:19 PM on February 19, 2002

Eat Mor Chikin
posted by ZachsMind at 2:27 PM on February 19, 2002

Run, cow...Ruuuuunnnnnn.


Manni! Manni wait! No Manni.....
posted by m@ at 2:36 PM on February 19, 2002

What's the Crime rate there? If they can't find something as obvious as a COW walking around the city, how on earth can they find a criminal?
posted by KnitWit at 2:44 PM on February 19, 2002

i think i saw that cow along U.S 23 near Brighton.
posted by clavdivs at 3:11 PM on February 19, 2002

Maybe the cow had help over the fence?
posted by ZachsMind at 3:24 PM on February 19, 2002

Thanks, Zach. Now I know what to do with my last week at my current employer.
posted by adampsyche at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2002

Bait Cow - apparently a tactic available in a 1994-era PC game called The Horde.
posted by kokogiak at 3:35 PM on February 19, 2002

Who's sorry cow?
posted by ParisParamus at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2002

M@, you made me snort milk out my nose!
posted by mkhall at 4:11 PM on February 19, 2002

Yes! 40 posts and nobody yet ....

Hey diddle diddle.
posted by dhartung at 4:12 PM on February 19, 2002

how does one adopt the property of another? i don't get that. Most people adopt parts of cows on a temporary basis, usually with cheese.
posted by th3ph17 at 4:24 PM on February 19, 2002

Cincinnati will have to change from flying pigs to running cows. How fast can a cow move anyways? Is the cow in a white Ford Bronco or something.
apologies for such an old reference. it was just the first thing i thought of when I heard this story.
posted by benjh at 5:54 PM on February 19, 2002

...And the dish ran away with the spoon.
posted by Quixoticlife at 6:43 PM on February 19, 2002

As of this morning, the cow is still loose, and local vegans have named her Golda Maier. And Fifth Third Bank would like to have the cow endorse some kind of "Holy Cow" promotion.
posted by keli at 2:15 AM on February 20, 2002

maybe he just wanted to see last night's game..

moo.
posted by lotsofno at 4:13 AM on February 20, 2002

Hopefully, she'll hold out and see Friday's game against Marquette as well.

Go Bearcats!
posted by keli at 4:46 AM on February 20, 2002

we shall spank them. and i will get my extra discount at the UC bookstore... (3% off for every 3 pointer on all UC insignia) booyah!
posted by lotsofno at 1:01 PM on February 20, 2002

All together now:

"We will fight for bovine freedom,
and hold our large heads hiiigh..."
posted by eoz at 3:47 AM on February 21, 2002