Can You Find The Mole In This Spy Organization?
April 30, 2015 1:45 PM   Subscribe

London, 1971. You sit at your typewriter, typing up a report while reflecting on your mysterious and troubling past. Your hands glide over the keys, but they are no normal hands and no normal keys. They are spy hands and spy keys.
posted by rorgy (33 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite
 
Nationality: British as fuck
Oh my I quite like this.
posted by books for weapons at 1:51 PM on April 30, 2015


I think this is written by the same person who did Death Attends the Matinee which is gold.
posted by griphus at 1:58 PM on April 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yay! I got the best ending! I don't feel the need to go through this again because I might get a not best ending and spoil it.
posted by Naberius at 1:58 PM on April 30, 2015


Oh, Travis.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:58 PM on April 30, 2015


I think this is written by the same person who did Death Attends the Matinee which is gold.

I'd stake money on there being a singular Clickhole writer doing these, because their voice is enormously distinctive, relying on banal repetitions that shunt into extreme absurdism according to a method that, thus far, still cracks me up every time I encounter it without fail. I skip most of the rest of Clickhole; I follow its RSS feed just to track whoever this is.
posted by rorgy at 2:13 PM on April 30, 2015


After getting various endings, I am convinced there is no mole and spies are just very good at clumsily killing themselves by falling on bullets.
posted by ymgve at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2015


I’ve prepared dossiers on all three agents. If you need further dossiers, let me know. We have plenty of dossiers. Most things in this office are also dossiers.
posted by Hoopo at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Spy keys"? Sounds painful.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2015


ymgve, that sounds like something a mole would say.
posted by ckape at 2:29 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's always some upper class twit who doesn't seem to do any work but is very popular and well liked by all the other department heads cause they all went to the same school.
posted by The Whelk at 2:29 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Now I want some extra-malted, extra-old scotch. Phooey to those crappy single malts!
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:35 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yeah well I want Hot Dog Nuggetz
posted by Hoopo at 2:36 PM on April 30, 2015


It was my birthday all along!
posted by Arbac at 2:36 PM on April 30, 2015


And what better way to celebrate your birthday than with a lifetime of sexual exploration, ravishing your coworker and his wife?
posted by Navelgazer at 2:41 PM on April 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


/me steels himself loudly
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:44 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Of everything I've done today, playing this has definitely been the best use of my time.
posted by mixedmetaphors at 3:08 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Threesome ending is the best ending. Tbh, a lot of cold war spy thrillers would be improved by such endings.
posted by yasaman at 3:13 PM on April 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


I am all Smiley faced.
posted by clavdivs at 5:00 PM on April 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Clicks through to first page: That's not London in 1971!
posted by deludingmyself at 5:09 PM on April 30, 2015


But! I got a surprise birthday party, and the joy of the sentence:

"Using your spy hands, you leaf through various confidential paperwork."

Delightful!
posted by deludingmyself at 5:17 PM on April 30, 2015


A noodle called out to me in the middle of the dossier revelations,then my FDD kicked in.
Reading The Secret Pilgrim at the moment, maybe the answer is in there.
posted by Oyéah at 5:47 PM on April 30, 2015


I'd stake money on there being a singular Clickhole writer doing these

I have a hunch it might be Brendan Patrick Hennessy, author of the CYOA parody You Will Select a Decision. The Clickventures remind me of his flair for genre pastiche and hypertext absurdity. (Plus he stopped updating his website last year, and I want him to be doing well.)
posted by Iridic at 5:52 PM on April 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


I'VE FOUND THE MOLE! ITS....
posted by wotsac at 9:01 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Iridic: "the CYOA parody You Will Select a Decision"

Oh, wow, this thing, wow.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 9:34 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'VE FOUND THE MOLE! ITS....
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:36 PM on April 30, 2015


I am disappointed I never learned where to find those high-quality blindfolds.
posted by ckape at 11:29 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


So how do you get the best ending? I can't seem to figure it out...
posted by crazy with stars at 12:26 AM on May 1, 2015


Depends on what you think the best ending is I suppose. There is an actual mole you can catch, but that ending was pretty lack luster. I'd much rather spend my days working at Chummer's, England's McDonald's equivalent.
posted by Arbac at 1:28 AM on May 1, 2015


Somebody spoil how to catch the mole I am lazy.
posted by rorgy at 7:41 AM on May 1, 2015


Who needs to catch a mole when you can fall in love with the man of your dreams.
posted by griphus at 9:32 AM on May 1, 2015


"Look, this beautiful woman who works here is also excited for you to start.”

Ok, I'm done with moles. Chummer's, England's McDonald's equivalent, don't forget your promise of night school for electricians.
posted by RedOrGreen at 9:41 AM on May 1, 2015


Here's the mole
posted by Arbac at 11:42 AM on May 1, 2015


There are three of them, and Alleline.
posted by yonega at 4:17 AM on May 2, 2015


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