Nasty, Brutish, Short
May 1, 2015 5:51 AM Subscribe
Royals is a realistic peasant simulator by Asher Vollmer, the creator of threes.
In Royals you start as a lowly peasant, and your job is to work your way up to King through mining, hunting, woodcutting, romance, brawling, enlisting in the army... or some other way. These will mostly result in your early death.
In Royals you start as a lowly peasant, and your job is to work your way up to King through mining, hunting, woodcutting, romance, brawling, enlisting in the army... or some other way. These will mostly result in your early death.
In Royals you start as a lowly peasant, and your job is to work your way up to King
Realism?
These will mostly result in your early death.
Realism.
posted by Artw at 6:45 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Realism?
These will mostly result in your early death.
Realism.
posted by Artw at 6:45 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:09 AM on May 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 7:09 AM on May 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
I'm not sure this is from my youth, y'all. The zip file seems to be the size of my first hard drive.
posted by khaibit at 7:55 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by khaibit at 7:55 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I've been most successful so far through a combination of meditating and recruiting followers / converting the Queen's population. It's difficult to do enough resting to keep life points up whilst also maintaining skills, because followers can't get you influence or strength points I think? Just money and wood and doing conversion missions.
I think I might be better off building up a base at home and recruiting an army to hit the Queen before she can find an excuse to raise troops against me.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:00 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think I might be better off building up a base at home and recruiting an army to hit the Queen before she can find an excuse to raise troops against me.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:00 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
"oh no! You've been elected May Queen!"
posted by The Whelk at 8:49 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 8:49 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I had a T-Shirt with this on it.
Most people did not recognize where the quote originated. I just told them that that is what my ex-wife told the Judge when he asked about our sex life!
posted by indianbadger1 at 11:00 AM on May 1, 2015
Most people did not recognize where the quote originated. I just told them that that is what my ex-wife told the Judge when he asked about our sex life!
posted by indianbadger1 at 11:00 AM on May 1, 2015
It's not working under me on 8.1 either; I open it and the window is just blank :(
posted by NoraReed at 3:07 PM on May 1, 2015
posted by NoraReed at 3:07 PM on May 1, 2015
Realism. You keep using this word. I do not think it means what you think it does.
posted by clvrmnky at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2015
posted by clvrmnky at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2015
I think it is actually titled "an optimistic peasant simulator" officially.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 1:24 AM on May 2, 2015
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 1:24 AM on May 2, 2015
I think I might be better off building up a base at home and recruiting an army to hit the Queen before she can find an excuse to raise troops against me.
And you can foresee the number of strategies you could use, but you don't have enough moves in either direction to really ever get there.
posted by quirkyturky at 2:46 AM on May 2, 2015
And you can foresee the number of strategies you could use, but you don't have enough moves in either direction to really ever get there.
posted by quirkyturky at 2:46 AM on May 2, 2015
I'm hating this, because it's exactly the game I want to compulsively play but there's no possible way to win, right? I appreciate the sentiment but at the same time it hits all my gaming buttons. I've spent an embarrassingly long time with it already.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:57 AM on May 2, 2015
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:57 AM on May 2, 2015
I did manage to destroy the Queen's castle and have the land descend into anarchy, but I then got swarmed by anarchist mobs.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 11:29 AM on May 2, 2015
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 11:29 AM on May 2, 2015
It's winnable. I've wasted a whole day on it to bring you the good news.
posted by snoogles at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2015
posted by snoogles at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2015
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posted by pjmoy at 6:40 AM on May 1, 2015