7s looking for 10s but they think they’re 11s
May 10, 2015 7:29 AM Subscribe
Amazon Is Killing My Sex Life: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, straight single guys. And as any woman will tell you: You don't want to date any of them.
This post was deleted for the following reason: This sort of provocative broad-generalization stuff tends not to lead to great Metafilter threads, sorry. -- restless_nomad
“The only thing that has changed is the increase in men I’d never want to go out on a date with.” She added, “Can’t believe they actually strap on those new employee book bags.”
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“I often hear women say they either date A-holes or nerds—or if they’re really lucky, both in one,” she said. “They feel like they’re dealing with someone who has poor social skills, not a lot of style, and isn’t that attractive, or is decently good-looking, successful, or cool, but by default knows it and acts like it, with a huge ego and selfish mind-set in tow."
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the type of available men—most of whom had computer science or engineering degrees and worked for Google, Microsoft, or Amazon. “The type of person who is attracted to these jobs and thus to the Seattle area seems to be a socially awkward, emotionally stunted, sheltered, strangely entitled, and/or a misogynistic individual,”
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“These dudes are easily recognizable with their PCs, backpacks, pulley ID badges, short buses.”
This article is a weird mix of really valid criticisms of some people in tech and high school girl level nerd bashing.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:43 AM on May 10, 2015 [8 favorites]
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“I often hear women say they either date A-holes or nerds—or if they’re really lucky, both in one,” she said. “They feel like they’re dealing with someone who has poor social skills, not a lot of style, and isn’t that attractive, or is decently good-looking, successful, or cool, but by default knows it and acts like it, with a huge ego and selfish mind-set in tow."
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the type of available men—most of whom had computer science or engineering degrees and worked for Google, Microsoft, or Amazon. “The type of person who is attracted to these jobs and thus to the Seattle area seems to be a socially awkward, emotionally stunted, sheltered, strangely entitled, and/or a misogynistic individual,”
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“These dudes are easily recognizable with their PCs, backpacks, pulley ID badges, short buses.”
This article is a weird mix of really valid criticisms of some people in tech and high school girl level nerd bashing.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:43 AM on May 10, 2015 [8 favorites]
I was just thinking this morning that I'm so lonely it hardly bears close examination - but this cheered me right up, because it's clear that other people have things so much worse. At least all the people I am Not Dating are feminist and interesting and not nouveau riche.
posted by Frowner at 7:46 AM on May 10, 2015
posted by Frowner at 7:46 AM on May 10, 2015
Is this the same author who wrote the column about how traumatic it was to share a meal with a Magic: The Gathering champion?
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:47 AM on May 10, 2015
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:47 AM on May 10, 2015
Oh good, a thread where bitter nerds can project their frustrations on the OP author.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:49 AM on May 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:49 AM on May 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
it's weird to see this here a year later without any of the context.
this is from when jeff reifman blamed his inability to get laid on amazon (he also thinks his former student not wanting to talk to him after breaking up with him is violent and thinks women cutting off men is why men assault their partners).
posted by nadawi at 7:50 AM on May 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
this is from when jeff reifman blamed his inability to get laid on amazon (he also thinks his former student not wanting to talk to him after breaking up with him is violent and thinks women cutting off men is why men assault their partners).
posted by nadawi at 7:50 AM on May 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Arlene said that she was once contacted by a Microsoft programmer on OKCupid who required that she read Neuromancer before “he would consider taking me out on a date. He was not joking.”
LOL. I'm just imagining the vitriol I would get if I put "YOU MUST READ LITTLE WOMEN BEFORE CONTACTING ME" in my OKC profile.
posted by almostmanda at 7:50 AM on May 10, 2015 [7 favorites]
LOL. I'm just imagining the vitriol I would get if I put "YOU MUST READ LITTLE WOMEN BEFORE CONTACTING ME" in my OKC profile.
posted by almostmanda at 7:50 AM on May 10, 2015 [7 favorites]
oh and here is reifman gathering up all the responses to his dumb dating post.
posted by nadawi at 7:53 AM on May 10, 2015
posted by nadawi at 7:53 AM on May 10, 2015
Honestly, a lot of this sounds less like tech issues than pretty standard gripes from a 40-year-old dating 20-somethings, dressed up in the trappings of young tech money. The people she's dating are boring, and shallow, and same-ey. Guess what? All 20-somethings are, especially when you're coming to the table with so much more life experience. 23 year old musicians are just as boring and obnoxious as 23 year old techies; they just have better taste. None of them have the life experience to be really interesting.
The author would probably have better luck dating people closer to her own age, with the life experience, maturity, and wisdom to match, rather than blaming people's boring-ness on their profession rather than their youth.
posted by Itaxpica at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2015
The author would probably have better luck dating people closer to her own age, with the life experience, maturity, and wisdom to match, rather than blaming people's boring-ness on their profession rather than their youth.
posted by Itaxpica at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2015
And speaking of Amazon employees, Amazon's policy seems to be to constantly be hiring new employees, burn them out in 12-24 months, and replace them. So if you don't like Amazon employees, good news! They won't be there long.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2015
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2015
"The type of person who is attracted to these jobs and thus to the Seattle area seems to be a socially awkward, emotionally stunted,..."
...I thought that was the stereotype of Seattle People for a while now? Spooky Introvert City?
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2015
...I thought that was the stereotype of Seattle People for a while now? Spooky Introvert City?
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2015
I don't doubt the massive influx of people for a certain type of job really throws a curve at the dating pool. But, I'm curious what the author has done to find interesting people. She mostly describes a dinner and a date, maybe joining couple of groups that do activities she enjoys would put her in contact with men she finds interesting.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:57 AM on May 10, 2015
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:57 AM on May 10, 2015
This article exists solely so that people on the internet can have an opinion about it.
posted by phooky at 7:58 AM on May 10, 2015
posted by phooky at 7:58 AM on May 10, 2015
oh, and we discussed reifman's piece here.
to discuss her piece like it isn't a reaction to the reifman piece makes her seem overly bitter or something - but as a direct response it's pretty on point.
posted by nadawi at 7:59 AM on May 10, 2015
to discuss her piece like it isn't a reaction to the reifman piece makes her seem overly bitter or something - but as a direct response it's pretty on point.
posted by nadawi at 7:59 AM on May 10, 2015
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I suspect the issue can be chalked up to a combination of left brain orientation, emotional immaturity, intellectual competitiveness, living in a bubble (tech universities followed by tech companies followed by more tech companies), and a genuine interest in the details of their work combined with a minimal interest in things outside that world.
I wonder what is to be done? Guys who think that every problem can be solved by the resolute application of IQ to the problem (and that if the problem can't be solved, then the IQ applied was insufficient) tend to have a real attachment to being "right" and thus a resistance to seeking coaching, assistance, or even therapy, for the issues that can't be solved by more/better IQ and more/better computing power.
posted by theorique at 7:43 AM on May 10, 2015