the temperature of a freshly killed snake
May 19, 2015 10:58 AM Subscribe
"At most restaurants, you are served what you ask for so routinely that your eyes glaze over with boredom. Javelina does not fall into the trap of dull predictability. One night after I left, I realized the guacamole I’d ordered had never arrived; it’s not every restaurant that gives you something to think about on your way home. Meanwhile, people at the next table were presented with a dish they insisted they hadn’t asked for. “You didn’t order brisket?” the server asked, keeping up the playful spirit."
Move over, Flavortown: NYT's Pete Wells reviews Javelina
So, I guess he didn't like it?
posted by doctor_negative at 11:10 AM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by doctor_negative at 11:10 AM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
doctor_negative: sort of JINX!
posted by Kitteh at 11:11 AM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitteh at 11:11 AM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
yeah, but he's still got a 1200 word column to write ..
posted by k5.user at 11:11 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by k5.user at 11:11 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
SL snarky restaurant review? Am I missing something?
posted by Melismata at 11:13 AM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 11:13 AM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Tex Mex food in NYC. It is a rather rich concept when you let is roll around your tongue for a while before swallowing. Sounds like the food and service is authentic. Apparently the music is quiet though, so points off for that I guess.
posted by carsonb at 11:15 AM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by carsonb at 11:15 AM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Also, FFS, $$$? Party of two can expect to spend over $100 for just entrees? Sheeeee-it. *spits*
posted by carsonb at 11:17 AM on May 19, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by carsonb at 11:17 AM on May 19, 2015 [18 favorites]
This is very appropriate because almost everything near Union Square is required to be unrelentingly awful.
posted by The Whelk at 11:18 AM on May 19, 2015 [32 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 11:18 AM on May 19, 2015 [32 favorites]
There's an Urban Outfitters a block a way that is semi-competent.
posted by maxsparber at 11:20 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by maxsparber at 11:20 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm not sure why he is afraid of offending Texans with a negative review. No Texan would dare concede that a tex-mex place outside of Texas could be authentic, and a negative review would at worst be responded to with pity for the reviewer's ignorance and derision for the presumptions of the restauranteurs.
posted by ardgedee at 11:20 AM on May 19, 2015 [35 favorites]
posted by ardgedee at 11:20 AM on May 19, 2015 [35 favorites]
queso sampler
Why do people do this? Why not just call it a "cheese sampler"? Queso means cheese. It's like calling wine "vino" because you're an Italian restaurant.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 11:21 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
Why do people do this? Why not just call it a "cheese sampler"? Queso means cheese. It's like calling wine "vino" because you're an Italian restaurant.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 11:21 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
Queso means cheese. It's like calling wine "vino" because you're an Italian restaurant.
I know more than you could even imagine about queso. Queso is short for chili con queso, which is a phrase in Spanglish and sometimes means you get taco meat mixed in with your melty cheese but also sometimes just means the cheese is spicy.
posted by carsonb at 11:23 AM on May 19, 2015 [21 favorites]
I know more than you could even imagine about queso. Queso is short for chili con queso, which is a phrase in Spanglish and sometimes means you get taco meat mixed in with your melty cheese but also sometimes just means the cheese is spicy.
posted by carsonb at 11:23 AM on May 19, 2015 [21 favorites]
I'll take the vino sampler.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:24 AM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by cjorgensen at 11:24 AM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
Did somebody say queso de Murcia al vino?
No. God damn it. I hoped we were sharing some Murcian wine cheese.
posted by maxsparber at 11:26 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
No. God damn it. I hoped we were sharing some Murcian wine cheese.
posted by maxsparber at 11:26 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
A $25 Tex Mex entre better be a fajita platter for 2.
posted by muddgirl at 11:28 AM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 11:28 AM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Marilyn Hagerty stirs from her rest, her hand starting toward her ancient sword- but no challenger is truly presenting himself, and she slips again into slumber, awaiting a worthy foe.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:28 AM on May 19, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:28 AM on May 19, 2015 [16 favorites]
There's an Urban Outfitters a block a way that is semi-competent.
How is their queso?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:29 AM on May 19, 2015 [48 favorites]
How is their queso?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:29 AM on May 19, 2015 [48 favorites]
Javelina, near Union Square, is a godsend for anybody who loves to eat before 6 p.m. or after 9:30 p.m.; since opening two months ago, the restaurant has been talked up so much in the press that those are usually the only reservation times available, even if you book a week or two ahead.
Is this snark, or do New Yorkers actually make reservations to eat Tex-Mex? Because the very idea makes me laugh.
posted by dortmunder at 11:30 AM on May 19, 2015 [12 favorites]
Is this snark, or do New Yorkers actually make reservations to eat Tex-Mex? Because the very idea makes me laugh.
posted by dortmunder at 11:30 AM on May 19, 2015 [12 favorites]
No Texan would dare concede that a tex-mex place outside of Texas could be authentic, and a negative review would at worst be responded to with pity for the reviewer's ignorance and derision for the presumptions of the restauranteurs.
Furthermore, no Texan would admit that any texMex place is better then their favorite one which is obviously the only real and authentic texMex and all others are but pale shadows, callow fakes for softheaded tourists.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 AM on May 19, 2015 [11 favorites]
Furthermore, no Texan would admit that any texMex place is better then their favorite one which is obviously the only real and authentic texMex and all others are but pale shadows, callow fakes for softheaded tourists.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 AM on May 19, 2015 [11 favorites]
I've been there, seemed like it had kinks to work out but it wasn't horrendous.
posted by sweetkid at 11:33 AM on May 19, 2015
posted by sweetkid at 11:33 AM on May 19, 2015
I just love, love, love snarky restaurant reviews, especially in places where I don't have any interest in visiting the restaurant. This one was really fun.
posted by xingcat at 11:33 AM on May 19, 2015 [29 favorites]
posted by xingcat at 11:33 AM on May 19, 2015 [29 favorites]
Is this snark, or do New Yorkers actually make reservations to eat Tex-Mex?
A lot of people live in New York city, and millions more visit every year. There are a finite number of restaurants, and thus it's often necessary to create a system which allows people to book tables in advance. You can book a table at restaurants of almost every type of cuisine in New York City!
posted by cell divide at 11:34 AM on May 19, 2015 [47 favorites]
A lot of people live in New York city, and millions more visit every year. There are a finite number of restaurants, and thus it's often necessary to create a system which allows people to book tables in advance. You can book a table at restaurants of almost every type of cuisine in New York City!
posted by cell divide at 11:34 AM on May 19, 2015 [47 favorites]
Mr. Wells failed to answer the only question I had: is the name pronounced "Javelina" or "Havelina"?
"Servers are as chipper as if it were their first day on the job, which it may well be" is a nice line, tho. Recently at a restaurant I was waited on by a child who looked like he might be in violation of the labor laws. He was such a nice boy, but he was so chipper and came back to the table so often that I didn't know whether to scratch his ear or give him a dollar and tell him to play in the street.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:35 AM on May 19, 2015 [19 favorites]
"Servers are as chipper as if it were their first day on the job, which it may well be" is a nice line, tho. Recently at a restaurant I was waited on by a child who looked like he might be in violation of the labor laws. He was such a nice boy, but he was so chipper and came back to the table so often that I didn't know whether to scratch his ear or give him a dollar and tell him to play in the street.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:35 AM on May 19, 2015 [19 favorites]
Javalina totally stole the name "Bob Armstrong queso" from Matt's el Rancho in Austin.
posted by helpthebear at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by helpthebear at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
I was kind of hoping this meant they had been served a big ol' plate of brisket made from an actual javelina
posted by briank at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by briank at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
"The chef is Richard Caruso, and his menu looks unmanageably long, but fortunately only a few items on it are worth getting."
Comedy gold.
posted by sutt at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
Comedy gold.
posted by sutt at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
I just love, love, love snarky restaurant reviews, especially in places where I don't have any interest in visiting the restaurant. This one was really fun.
This is why I love Jay Rayner; his slim but very very hilarious tome My Dining Hell: Twenty Ways to Have A Lousy Night Out collects his most popular (read: most scathing) restaurant reviews. In his foreword, he says that he understands that people enjoy those the most. He also cheerfully and honestly also adds all the criticisms that have been lobbed at him re: those reviews as well. I highly recommend it.
posted by Kitteh at 11:40 AM on May 19, 2015 [14 favorites]
This is why I love Jay Rayner; his slim but very very hilarious tome My Dining Hell: Twenty Ways to Have A Lousy Night Out collects his most popular (read: most scathing) restaurant reviews. In his foreword, he says that he understands that people enjoy those the most. He also cheerfully and honestly also adds all the criticisms that have been lobbed at him re: those reviews as well. I highly recommend it.
posted by Kitteh at 11:40 AM on May 19, 2015 [14 favorites]
Getting things you didn't order and not getting things you did is hardly inventive. It's a standard feature of most Taco Bells.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:41 AM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:41 AM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
The menu said that another loaded queso, the Mag Mud, was supplemented with black beans. I didn’t see them, so I probed the cheese with tortilla chips, digging way down to the bottom. Black beans shouldn’t be easy to lose in a bowl of white cheese. Where were they? About five minutes later, a server placed a bowl of beans on the table. “This is supposed to go with the queso,” he said. Mystery solved!
I thought this was hilarious from start to finish. Also, a rarity in restaurant reviews: many of the issues here are things the staff can work on making better!
The food being terrible, maybe not so much-- although many of the misfires seem to be more front-of-house based than recipes per se. (And where is the expediter??? COME ON.)
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:41 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
I thought this was hilarious from start to finish. Also, a rarity in restaurant reviews: many of the issues here are things the staff can work on making better!
The food being terrible, maybe not so much-- although many of the misfires seem to be more front-of-house based than recipes per se. (And where is the expediter??? COME ON.)
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:41 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
almost everything near Union Square is required to be unrelentingly awful
I refute it thus: *strikes foot with mighty force against a City Bakery cookie*
posted by moonmilk at 11:43 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
I refute it thus: *strikes foot with mighty force against a City Bakery cookie*
posted by moonmilk at 11:43 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
This reminds me of the MeFi meetup at Guy Fieri's restaurant, which was inspired by a similar review.
posted by exogenous at 11:44 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by exogenous at 11:44 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's a standard feature of most Taco Bells.
Remember that time the bag felt weirdly heavy and then we got home and realized they'd given us seven half-pound burritos we didn't order? We feasted like kings for a week on the extra 3.5 pounds of food!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:45 AM on May 19, 2015 [10 favorites]
Remember that time the bag felt weirdly heavy and then we got home and realized they'd given us seven half-pound burritos we didn't order? We feasted like kings for a week on the extra 3.5 pounds of food!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:45 AM on May 19, 2015 [10 favorites]
That Flavortown meetup inspired a fun video!
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's a standard feature of most Taco Bells.
I associate it with Popeye's, where you can order a five-piece chicken tender platter and get the equivalent of multiple hens.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:54 AM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
I associate it with Popeye's, where you can order a five-piece chicken tender platter and get the equivalent of multiple hens.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:54 AM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Paloma in a pint glass?
Everything's bigger in Texas.
It's just that the export version sold in NYC is sloppy & careless.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 11:54 AM on May 19, 2015
Everything's bigger in Texas.
It's just that the export version sold in NYC is sloppy & careless.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 11:54 AM on May 19, 2015
I hate this term 'melty' that just appeared out of nowhere in fast-food commercials. Like ice cream with a 'chocolatey' coating, it's designed to trick you into thinking of melted cheese but in fact indicates a synthetic cheese-flavoured goop (ie Cheez-Whiz), and I bet some Don Draper type got a nice bonus for coming up with it.
posted by Flashman at 11:56 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Flashman at 11:56 AM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Javalina totally stole the name "Bob Armstrong queso" from Matt's el Rancho in Austin.
And "Mag mud" from Magnolia's, also in Austin. I'm wondering if the actual theme for this restaurant is "stuff the owners ate at SXSW that one time."
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:57 AM on May 19, 2015 [72 favorites]
And "Mag mud" from Magnolia's, also in Austin. I'm wondering if the actual theme for this restaurant is "stuff the owners ate at SXSW that one time."
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:57 AM on May 19, 2015 [72 favorites]
queso será, será.
posted by chavenet at 11:57 AM on May 19, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 11:57 AM on May 19, 2015 [12 favorites]
This is really making me miss Texas Chili Parlor, where you can choose six different chilis to top your frito pie with.
posted by Juliet Banana at 11:58 AM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Juliet Banana at 11:58 AM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
So...I'm guessing he had a horrible time?
He had three horrible times.
posted by tommasz at 11:58 AM on May 19, 2015 [8 favorites]
He had three horrible times.
posted by tommasz at 11:58 AM on May 19, 2015 [8 favorites]
Please don't say "guac". Thank you.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 11:58 AM on May 19, 2015 [24 favorites]
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 11:58 AM on May 19, 2015 [24 favorites]
(Also dammit why did you have to remind me how scarce good Tex-Mex is in the northeast?)
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:00 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:00 PM on May 19, 2015
I thoroughly enjoyed that. Now I want a margarita. I have grapefruit juice. I wonder if a grapefruit margarita is good?
posted by theora55 at 12:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 12:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
The best thing I have to offer this thread is Texas Monthly's recent nostalgic salute to authentic 1970s-style Tex-Mex. As defined: absolutely no 'fucking vegetables.'
posted by librarylis at 12:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by librarylis at 12:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
(Also dammit why did you have to remind me how scarce good Tex-Mex is in the northeast?)
I'm so glad there's a Chuy's in the DC 'burbs now.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:08 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm so glad there's a Chuy's in the DC 'burbs now.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:08 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
Wait, yeah, what the hell... Did they license Mag Mud from Magnolia? The name doesn't even make any sense when your restaurant isn't called Magnolia!
posted by kmz at 12:13 PM on May 19, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by kmz at 12:13 PM on May 19, 2015 [8 favorites]
I feel like Northeast Tex-Mex should really be its own culinary category by now, it bears as much resemblance to Tex-Mex as, say, German food does to Polish. They're similar, but absolutely distinct.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 12:15 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by everybody had matching towels at 12:15 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
From the article:
"I like Texans. I love their food and their music and their boots. I admire their ability to tame landscapes that are hostile to human life. I respect how quick they are to stick up for their state and its culture. In fact, I may be slightly afraid of Texans. I have no desire to mess with them. I can read the bumper stickers."
Yes! Texas! I have a love/hate relationship with Texas (It's one-sided). Most times that I have dealt with Texans, there always came a point that I ended up feeling like an imbecile, and was better off for it (this sentiment might not hold up well, once examined more rigorously for all of its philosophic ramifications ((The sentiment that I have about THIS SENTIMENT, might, in fact, explain the "at-odds-ness" of the relationship))).
I hope I didn't derail this discussion. In a recent history course we were taught how to "gut" a book, to ignore all of the fluff and get to the main point. For the most part, the main point could be ascertained by reading the introduction and conclusion. Always ask yourself "What is the point that the author is trying to make? If the author fails to make a point, why read it? It's just so much logorreah (not that I am not guilty of this more than I would like).
posted by rankfreudlite at 12:18 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
"I like Texans. I love their food and their music and their boots. I admire their ability to tame landscapes that are hostile to human life. I respect how quick they are to stick up for their state and its culture. In fact, I may be slightly afraid of Texans. I have no desire to mess with them. I can read the bumper stickers."
Yes! Texas! I have a love/hate relationship with Texas (It's one-sided). Most times that I have dealt with Texans, there always came a point that I ended up feeling like an imbecile, and was better off for it (this sentiment might not hold up well, once examined more rigorously for all of its philosophic ramifications ((The sentiment that I have about THIS SENTIMENT, might, in fact, explain the "at-odds-ness" of the relationship))).
I hope I didn't derail this discussion. In a recent history course we were taught how to "gut" a book, to ignore all of the fluff and get to the main point. For the most part, the main point could be ascertained by reading the introduction and conclusion. Always ask yourself "What is the point that the author is trying to make? If the author fails to make a point, why read it? It's just so much logorreah (not that I am not guilty of this more than I would like).
posted by rankfreudlite at 12:18 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think Queso is actually short for Queso Fundido, which means melted cheese and is fucking awesome.
posted by janey47 at 12:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by janey47 at 12:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
Or it's short for OKAY SO I'm Just Gonna Take This Whole Bowl And All These Here Chips And Nom Happily For Ten Minutes.
posted by mochapickle at 12:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [23 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 12:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [23 favorites]
Webster's Reluctantly Adds 'Melty' To English Lexicon
posted by Kabanos at 12:25 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Kabanos at 12:25 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Is this snark, or do New Yorkers actually make reservations to eat Tex-Mex? Because the very idea makes me laugh.
To Texans, eating Tex-Mex is considered a basic biological function. You should not need to make a reservation for that.
posted by rankfreudlite at 12:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
To Texans, eating Tex-Mex is considered a basic biological function. You should not need to make a reservation for that.
posted by rankfreudlite at 12:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Yeah, even as a fan of dickish restaurant reviews, I was thinking this was a little much and then I saw the $$$ and figured fuck yeah, bring on the asshole.
Also, fucking up queso should be a crime punishable, at least, by snark. It might not be the fanciest thing in the world, but in my experience, when it is what you want to eat, it is ALL you want to eat, so to get it lukewarm is just a big old hell no.
And now I want queso.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, fucking up queso should be a crime punishable, at least, by snark. It might not be the fanciest thing in the world, but in my experience, when it is what you want to eat, it is ALL you want to eat, so to get it lukewarm is just a big old hell no.
And now I want queso.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
So I am moving Up North for an extended period, and I have been stuffing myself with Mexican food - tex-mex, jalisco-style, San Antonian - I care not the region. I can guarantee the writers that "authentic" Tex Mex was alive and well in the Alamo City until I ate it all.
posted by muddgirl at 12:30 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 12:30 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Nope. Queso Fundido is it's own thing. You have to spoon Queso Fundido into a tortilla to eat, because it's way too thick to dip a chip into. It's more of a raclette consistency, while chile con queso should have a fondue consistency. And it's chile, not chili. Named for the green chiles found in Rotel. This is not a classy dish with authentic mexican roots. It is delicious enough it doesn't have to be.
The fondue is usually achieved with velveeta, or some other cheese-like product. But you can also start off with a roux, per the homesick texan. My main complaint is that you can't ever take it off the heat, because then it reverts to a more solid state.
posted by politikitty at 12:36 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
The fondue is usually achieved with velveeta, or some other cheese-like product. But you can also start off with a roux, per the homesick texan. My main complaint is that you can't ever take it off the heat, because then it reverts to a more solid state.
posted by politikitty at 12:36 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
I love Tex-Mex food, and Mexican food, and neo-Californian-hipster-quasi-Mexican food. A visit to Mari Luna Mexican Grill for queso fundido might be in my near future.
And recently I visited a place that served a whole avocado hollowed out, stuffed with cheese, battered and deep-fried. What the hell even was that? ¿Aguacate relleno?
Damned if it wasn't tasty, though.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
And recently I visited a place that served a whole avocado hollowed out, stuffed with cheese, battered and deep-fried. What the hell even was that? ¿Aguacate relleno?
Damned if it wasn't tasty, though.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Yes. Queso literally means cheese. And 'a la mode' means 'in the style of', but fuckin everybody knows it means "with ice cream on top" in English because language is alive and everchanging, ok?!?!
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:44 PM on May 19, 2015 [20 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:44 PM on May 19, 2015 [20 favorites]
I thoroughly enjoyed that. Now I want a margarita. I have grapefruit juice. I wonder if a grapefruit margarita is good?
posted by theora55 at 2:06 PM on May 19 [+][!]
Congrats, you've just made one version of a Paloma.
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:48 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 2:06 PM on May 19 [+][!]
Congrats, you've just made one version of a Paloma.
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:48 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
I feel like Northeast Tex-Mex should really be its own culinary category by nowEx-Tex-Mex?
posted by roystgnr at 12:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [14 favorites]
I feel like Northeast Tex-Mex should really be its own culinary category by now, it bears as much resemblance to Tex-Mex as, say, German food does to Polish. They're similar, but absolutely distinct.
"Authentic Tex-Mex" vs. "How Can You Eat That Shit?"
posted by zarq at 12:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Authentic Tex-Mex" vs. "How Can You Eat That Shit?"
posted by zarq at 12:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
How to get good queso:
> Meet a Texan
> Befriend the Texan
> Call the Texan up and offer an invitation to your home. Sports-watching events are suitable excuses, but really anything will do.
> Casually mention that you were thinking of trying your hand at some queso for the event
> The Texan, appalled at this notion, will offer to bring the queso to said event
> Congratulations, you now have amazing Texan Chile Con Queso delivered directly to your home in a big-ass crockpot
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:59 PM on May 19, 2015 [74 favorites]
> Meet a Texan
> Befriend the Texan
> Call the Texan up and offer an invitation to your home. Sports-watching events are suitable excuses, but really anything will do.
> Casually mention that you were thinking of trying your hand at some queso for the event
> The Texan, appalled at this notion, will offer to bring the queso to said event
> Congratulations, you now have amazing Texan Chile Con Queso delivered directly to your home in a big-ass crockpot
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:59 PM on May 19, 2015 [74 favorites]
You know, you can do a hell of a lot worse than good old Velveeta-and-Rotel.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [28 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [28 favorites]
How to get good queso:
(snip)
Because only people born in certain areas can do certain things!
posted by sour cream at 1:06 PM on May 19, 2015
(snip)
Because only people born in certain areas can do certain things!
posted by sour cream at 1:06 PM on May 19, 2015
I don't care much about this review or restaurant but I NOW REQUIRE MELTY CHEESE DIPS.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 1:09 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 1:09 PM on May 19, 2015
And they laughed when I installed a heating coil on my Super Soaker.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:11 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:11 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
"Javelina" is a hilarious name for a restaurant. Is there even a more appetizing image than an unruly stankboar?
Also "Ex-Tex-Mex" is the perfect name for the samey watered down "Authentic" "Mexican" "food" everyone is familiar with outside of the actual Southwest. I will be putting that phrase to good use.
posted by byanyothername at 1:12 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Also "Ex-Tex-Mex" is the perfect name for the samey watered down "Authentic" "Mexican" "food" everyone is familiar with outside of the actual Southwest. I will be putting that phrase to good use.
posted by byanyothername at 1:12 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Because only people born in certain areas can do certain things!
...it's just a silly little joke...
posted by Doleful Creature at 1:13 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
...it's just a silly little joke...
posted by Doleful Creature at 1:13 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
And 'a la mode' means 'in the style of', but fuckin everybody knows it means "with ice cream on top" in English because language is alive and everchanging, ok?!?!
Oh oh we haven't had a good people who have certain opinions about grammar are literally fascists thread in a while, can we please have one pretty please?
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Oh oh we haven't had a good people who have certain opinions about grammar are literally fascists thread in a while, can we please have one pretty please?
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
You know, you can do a hell of a lot worse than good old Velveeta-and-Rotel.
All of a sudden my lunch looks really drab and that sounds really, really good about now.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
All of a sudden my lunch looks really drab and that sounds really, really good about now.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
I feel like Northeast Tex-Mex should really be its own culinary category by now, it bears as much resemblance to Tex-Mex as, say,
...As, say, Tex-Mex does to authentic Mexican food.
posted by aught at 1:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [10 favorites]
...As, say, Tex-Mex does to authentic Mexican food.
posted by aught at 1:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [10 favorites]
Oh oh we haven't had a good people who have certain opinions about grammar are literally fascists thread in a while, can we please have one pretty please?
Hmm...this isn't about grammar, though. In this case it's someone being snobby about perceived incorrect usage of non-English words by Americans. I don't think they're part of the Grammar Reich, though they're definitely among the Pedant Axis powers.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:20 PM on May 19, 2015 [15 favorites]
Hmm...this isn't about grammar, though. In this case it's someone being snobby about perceived incorrect usage of non-English words by Americans. I don't think they're part of the Grammar Reich, though they're definitely among the Pedant Axis powers.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:20 PM on May 19, 2015 [15 favorites]
I'm not really a grammar Nazi.
I'm more of a syntax Falangist.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:26 PM on May 19, 2015 [19 favorites]
I'm more of a syntax Falangist.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:26 PM on May 19, 2015 [19 favorites]
So, does this mean the fried chicken and champagne thing is all over and done with in NYC now?
posted by valkane at 1:29 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by valkane at 1:29 PM on May 19, 2015
I feel like Northeast Tex-Mex should really be its own culinary category by now, it bears as much resemblance to Tex-Mex as, say,
...As, say, Tex-Mex does to authentic Mexican food.
I wonder if it will continue migrating, possibly through Russia and Vietnam, to make it's way back to Mexico, only to find that the styles are no longer recognizably the same. A sort of culinary ring species.
posted by Panjandrum at 1:30 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
...As, say, Tex-Mex does to authentic Mexican food.
I wonder if it will continue migrating, possibly through Russia and Vietnam, to make it's way back to Mexico, only to find that the styles are no longer recognizably the same. A sort of culinary ring species.
posted by Panjandrum at 1:30 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
Descriptivist-collectivist over here
Also I think fried chicken and champagne never made it past one restaurant as a 'thing'
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:31 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Also I think fried chicken and champagne never made it past one restaurant as a 'thing'
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:31 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Snakes are cold-blooded, so they could be freshly killed at just about any temperature.
posted by tempestuoso at 1:32 PM on May 19, 2015 [21 favorites]
posted by tempestuoso at 1:32 PM on May 19, 2015 [21 favorites]
Fried Chicken is on every brunch menu now when it used to only be on "some"
posted by The Whelk at 1:33 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by The Whelk at 1:33 PM on May 19, 2015
I wonder if it will continue migrating, possibly through Russia and Vietnam, to make it's way back to Mexico, only to find that the styles are no longer recognizably the same. A sort of culinary ring species.
Yes this is totally a thing!
Also I saw an article a while ago about a restaurant in NYC that served Japan's version of 'American food' but I can't find any info on it now...
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:33 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
Yes this is totally a thing!
Also I saw an article a while ago about a restaurant in NYC that served Japan's version of 'American food' but I can't find any info on it now...
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:33 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
You know, you can do a hell of a lot worse than good old Velveeta-and-Rotel.
It's not even that hard. The instructions are basically drain the Rotel, cube the Velveeta, and put on medium heat. Stir until melty.
posted by zabuni at 1:36 PM on May 19, 2015
It's not even that hard. The instructions are basically drain the Rotel, cube the Velveeta, and put on medium heat. Stir until melty.
posted by zabuni at 1:36 PM on May 19, 2015
Just use sodium citrate. Then you can use any cheese.
posted by tempestuoso at 1:40 PM on May 19, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by tempestuoso at 1:40 PM on May 19, 2015 [10 favorites]
I can't get over the so called "Mag Mud" with the black beans served on the side. Dude, I live in Rome, a more velveeta, cheddar & Monterey Jack-less city I have never known. And I can still make a better Mag Mud than that.
And I will. It's part of my Bastardized Tex-Mex repertoire perfected over my years here. It's labor intensive as all fuck between the specialty shopping and making from scratch. But now y'all have kickstarted that craving and fuck me gently with a chainsaw if it won't go away until I gorge myself silly.
Now somebody drink a margarita for me because I'm breastfeeding and and such haven't had my fam bring the good tequila their last few trips over.
posted by romakimmy at 1:49 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
And I will. It's part of my Bastardized Tex-Mex repertoire perfected over my years here. It's labor intensive as all fuck between the specialty shopping and making from scratch. But now y'all have kickstarted that craving and fuck me gently with a chainsaw if it won't go away until I gorge myself silly.
Now somebody drink a margarita for me because I'm breastfeeding and and such haven't had my fam bring the good tequila their last few trips over.
posted by romakimmy at 1:49 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
showbiz_liz: "Yes. Queso literally means cheese. And 'a la mode' means 'in the style of', but fuckin everybody knows it means "with ice cream on top" in English because language is alive and everchanging, ok?!?!"
"a la mode" also means "in fashion", so that makes a bit more sense. Anyway, "a la mode" is specific enough that it won't be misunderstood. I'm mostly annoyed with the use of a totally normal, general Spanish word to mean something extremely specific, and that specific thing not even being something that word is used for in, say, Mexico.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:59 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
"a la mode" also means "in fashion", so that makes a bit more sense. Anyway, "a la mode" is specific enough that it won't be misunderstood. I'm mostly annoyed with the use of a totally normal, general Spanish word to mean something extremely specific, and that specific thing not even being something that word is used for in, say, Mexico.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:59 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Meanwhile, people at the next table were presented with a dish they insisted they hadn’t asked for.
Aww, I thought it was going to be about this one: Cannibal restaurant 'with roasted human heads on the menu' shut down by police
BTW, Snopes says nope
posted by Room 641-A at 2:01 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Aww, I thought it was going to be about this one: Cannibal restaurant 'with roasted human heads on the menu' shut down by police
BTW, Snopes says nope
posted by Room 641-A at 2:01 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
zabuni: “It's not even that hard. The instructions are basically drain the Rotel, cube the Velveeta, and put on medium heat. Stir until melty.”For the record you do not drain the Ro-tel.
posted by ob1quixote at 2:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [15 favorites]
tempestuoso: "Just use sodium citrate. Then you can use any cheese."
Holy crap, does this work as well as advertised? Because that sounds just about magical.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:04 PM on May 19, 2015
Holy crap, does this work as well as advertised? Because that sounds just about magical.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:04 PM on May 19, 2015
I'm mostly annoyed with the use of a totally normal, general Spanish word to mean something extremely specific, and that specific thing not even being something that word is used for in, say, Mexico.
Annoyed or not, I will guarantee you that 100% of the time when someone in Texas says "queso" and the rest of their words are in English they are talking about the melty cheese dip, and no one cares what it means in Mexico.
My mom always taught me to splash a little milk in with the cubed Velveeta and Ro-Tel.
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
Annoyed or not, I will guarantee you that 100% of the time when someone in Texas says "queso" and the rest of their words are in English they are talking about the melty cheese dip, and no one cares what it means in Mexico.
My mom always taught me to splash a little milk in with the cubed Velveeta and Ro-Tel.
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
haggis tacos for everybody
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:12 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:12 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
A rather large picture of Tex-Mex as defined by a lil' ol' band from Texas. And no, Tex-Mex is not Mexican cuisine (even though it is simply known as "Mexican food" in Texas). If it had been invented in the 1980s it would have been called some sort of fusion. But fish of any kind on the menu tells me Javelina is not anything close to authentic Tex-Mex, no matter how good their tortillas are. Flour tortillas are suspect anyway.
posted by TedW at 2:17 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 2:17 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
The cutest part of my trip to Austin last month was my friend's young son escorting me to the front of the line -- I said ok, what do you think I should get? He suggests specific tacos. Then he looks at me and says -- with an air of raised-eyebrow menace -- "You like queso, right?"
Pretty sure if I'd said no he would have shunned me forever. And who'd blame him? Queso is MAGIC.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Pretty sure if I'd said no he would have shunned me forever. And who'd blame him? Queso is MAGIC.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
haggis tacos for everybody
No lie, I would eat the hell out of a haggis taco with a little pickled onion, radish, and cilantro on top.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:26 PM on May 19, 2015
No lie, I would eat the hell out of a haggis taco with a little pickled onion, radish, and cilantro on top.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:26 PM on May 19, 2015
Flour tortillas are one key signifier of Tex Mex. Another is beef.
posted by muddgirl at 2:32 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 2:32 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
...haggis taco...
Mustard-whiskey sauce, on a potato flatbread.
posted by bonehead at 2:33 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Mustard-whiskey sauce, on a potato flatbread.
posted by bonehead at 2:33 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
I grew up in Texas. I also went to Javelina a couple of weeks ago. I have mixed feelings about it. I certainly didn't have the bad experience of the reviewer—I thought it was a fairly good imitation of Tex-Mex. But it wasn't quite right in a number of areas. The options to add a fried egg, lobster tail, charred octopus, or queso to a number of options struck a particular discordant note.
Mainly it was a disappointing reminder of how much better Tex-Mex is in Austin. Or even at a Chuy's in Knoxville, Tennesee. I'm probably not going back.
As a side note, I really do not understand why people have such a hard time replicating Tex-Mex in other areas. It does not seem inherently difficult to cook in the way that, say, Texas barbecue is. I have to chalk it up to a lack of familiarity by the restauranteurs and cooks, and a lack of competition that can soak up those customers that appreciate it done right.
posted by grouse at 2:34 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Mainly it was a disappointing reminder of how much better Tex-Mex is in Austin. Or even at a Chuy's in Knoxville, Tennesee. I'm probably not going back.
As a side note, I really do not understand why people have such a hard time replicating Tex-Mex in other areas. It does not seem inherently difficult to cook in the way that, say, Texas barbecue is. I have to chalk it up to a lack of familiarity by the restauranteurs and cooks, and a lack of competition that can soak up those customers that appreciate it done right.
posted by grouse at 2:34 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
i know, right? they'd be pretty good. with a good salsa, you could probably get away with canned haggis, just like one does for pizza toppings.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
I was so so lonely for Tex-Mex food when I was in NYC and people kept telling me "Oh just get some Puerto Rican or Spanish food!" and no, these are not in the same universe (although tasty in their own ways) of food. It's a special thing, one that I honestly never thought of as that hard to cook, so I was surprised that such a cosmopolitan place couldn't manage it. But like iced tea with infinite refills*, TexMex just doesn't seem to flourish outside Texas (the rest of the Southwest does their Mexican food differently). Which is kind of cool and kind of frustrating at the same time.
Whenever I went home, the minute I got off the plane I would demand to be taken to somewhere Tex-Mex, immediately. My mom was a fan of Joe T. Garcia's, my brother tended to like Uncle Julio's, but any of a dozen other places would work just as well. At the first hit of just-right, freshly-made chips and salsa and the smell of fajitas, I'd start to relax. I was home.
*not presweetened, that's more of a Southern thing
posted by emjaybee at 2:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Whenever I went home, the minute I got off the plane I would demand to be taken to somewhere Tex-Mex, immediately. My mom was a fan of Joe T. Garcia's, my brother tended to like Uncle Julio's, but any of a dozen other places would work just as well. At the first hit of just-right, freshly-made chips and salsa and the smell of fajitas, I'd start to relax. I was home.
*not presweetened, that's more of a Southern thing
posted by emjaybee at 2:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
As a side note, I really do not understand why people have such a hard time replicating Tex-Mex in other areas.
Many cuisines have similar difficulties, and the reasons could range from "chef competence" to "availability of correct ingredients/sauces etc.," to "different water."
"New York" or "Chicago" pizza is rarely as good as the real thing. You can't find good Mexican food in most of the US. The quality and taste of most Asian cuisines will vary widely depending on your location. (Although certain frozen foods, like egg rolls hardly ever vary.) Heck, go outside of a handful of major metropolitan areas and try and find a fresh bagel. They usually don't taste the same. Water quality has a huge impact on taste and texture of breads/doughs, etc.
posted by zarq at 2:42 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Many cuisines have similar difficulties, and the reasons could range from "chef competence" to "availability of correct ingredients/sauces etc.," to "different water."
"New York" or "Chicago" pizza is rarely as good as the real thing. You can't find good Mexican food in most of the US. The quality and taste of most Asian cuisines will vary widely depending on your location. (Although certain frozen foods, like egg rolls hardly ever vary.) Heck, go outside of a handful of major metropolitan areas and try and find a fresh bagel. They usually don't taste the same. Water quality has a huge impact on taste and texture of breads/doughs, etc.
posted by zarq at 2:42 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
haggis taco
"The Irish and the English eat pork," she spat, her voice effortlessly sending out waves of derision. "The Scots eat beef."
posted by zarq at 2:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
"The Irish and the English eat pork," she spat, her voice effortlessly sending out waves of derision. "The Scots eat beef."
posted by zarq at 2:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
carsonb: "Sounds like the food and service is authentic."
Because it's funny to suggest restaurants in Texas have poor service? HAW HAW HAW!
Joakim, you're really close to "old man yells at cloud" territory here. Here on planet Earth, we sometimes encounter words being used correctly in new contexts and carrying meanings with which we are unfamiliar. While you're within your rights, obviously, to be "annoyed" by it, the usage that annoys you has been perfectly standard for generations in parts of the country, and is in no way, shape, or form incorrect. Deal with it.
Grouse, I'm with you on Tex-Mex outside its home areas. I have no idea why it's so reliably awful. Perhaps the broadening footprint of Chuy's will help, but for now I hew to Lyle Lovett's direction: never north of I-20, or east of the Mississippi.
posted by uberchet at 2:50 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Because it's funny to suggest restaurants in Texas have poor service? HAW HAW HAW!
Joakim, you're really close to "old man yells at cloud" territory here. Here on planet Earth, we sometimes encounter words being used correctly in new contexts and carrying meanings with which we are unfamiliar. While you're within your rights, obviously, to be "annoyed" by it, the usage that annoys you has been perfectly standard for generations in parts of the country, and is in no way, shape, or form incorrect. Deal with it.
Grouse, I'm with you on Tex-Mex outside its home areas. I have no idea why it's so reliably awful. Perhaps the broadening footprint of Chuy's will help, but for now I hew to Lyle Lovett's direction: never north of I-20, or east of the Mississippi.
posted by uberchet at 2:50 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Mr. Wells failed to answer the only question I had: is the name pronounced "Javelina" or "Havelina"?
The owner has a blog: "Frankly it’s just a fun word to say. Go ahead, say it out loud – it’s pronounced like this: Have-ah-Leen-uh."
posted by effbot at 2:52 PM on May 19, 2015
The owner has a blog: "Frankly it’s just a fun word to say. Go ahead, say it out loud – it’s pronounced like this: Have-ah-Leen-uh."
posted by effbot at 2:52 PM on May 19, 2015
I guess, zarq, but pizza and bagels both involve baking and many variables that seem a bit more subtle to control. And having made Chinese, Indian, Thai, and Tex-Mex at home, Tex-Mex is way easier.
uberchet, our family rule is: never have Mexican food outside a state that has a border with Mexico. New Mexico and California's own variations of Mexican food are pretty good.
But like iced tea with infinite refills*
One strong point in Javelina's favor: when I sat down they brought tortilla chips and salsa without asking, brought more when I ate it all, and didn't pull any stupid crap like trying to charge me for it. They had the first few minutes of the Tex-Mex experience down. Saying "Everything was great until my main course arrived" probably is damning with faint praise, but there you go.
posted by grouse at 2:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
uberchet, our family rule is: never have Mexican food outside a state that has a border with Mexico. New Mexico and California's own variations of Mexican food are pretty good.
But like iced tea with infinite refills*
One strong point in Javelina's favor: when I sat down they brought tortilla chips and salsa without asking, brought more when I ate it all, and didn't pull any stupid crap like trying to charge me for it. They had the first few minutes of the Tex-Mex experience down. Saying "Everything was great until my main course arrived" probably is damning with faint praise, but there you go.
posted by grouse at 2:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
As luck would have it, I was in Fort Worth last weekend and went to a Tex-Mex place. Since the carne asada didn't come with tortillas (a hangin' crime where I'm from) I ordered some, and they never arrived, so this place is possibly more accurate than the reviewer gives credit for. Note: I ended up not raising a stink about the tortillas because I figured they'd be flour and fuck that anyway.
posted by LionIndex at 3:01 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by LionIndex at 3:01 PM on May 19, 2015
Also I saw an article a while ago about a restaurant in NYC that served Japan's version of 'American food' but I can't find any info on it now...
I know there's Basta Pasta which serves Japan's version of Italian food.
posted by gyc at 3:01 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
I know there's Basta Pasta which serves Japan's version of Italian food.
posted by gyc at 3:01 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
No lie, I would eat the hell out of a haggis taco with a little pickled onion, radish, and cilantro on top.
with a good salsa
i.e., enough toppings to disguise the flat tang and lingering aftertaste of organ meat?
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
with a good salsa
i.e., enough toppings to disguise the flat tang and lingering aftertaste of organ meat?
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Did you guys know that "salsa" just means sauce in Spanish-speaking countries? like a sauce for your pasta or whatever.
But it means something specific and different in the USA!
WOW
posted by saul wright at 3:05 PM on May 19, 2015 [22 favorites]
But it means something specific and different in the USA!
WOW
posted by saul wright at 3:05 PM on May 19, 2015 [22 favorites]
i.e., enough toppings to disguise the flat tang and lingering aftertaste of organ meat?
A haggis taco would be pretty tame in parts of Mexico.
posted by LionIndex at 3:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
A haggis taco would be pretty tame in parts of Mexico.
posted by LionIndex at 3:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Because only people born in certain areas can do certain things!
Why don't you relax with some Champagne and a plate of Asiago cheese?
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:17 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Why don't you relax with some Champagne and a plate of Asiago cheese?
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:17 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
LionIndex: " A haggis taco would be pretty tame in parts of Mexico."
Tripas and buche are both motherfucking delicious magic tacos and y'all motherfuckers need more offal tacos in your life if you've never thought about this. Seriously, I have gout and a big toe the size of three big toes and I'll chow down on three or four in a heartbeat. No regrets, ever.
If you are in Denver-ish, I recommend and endorse TACOS Y SALSAS for your first experience.
posted by boo_radley at 3:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
Tripas and buche are both motherfucking delicious magic tacos and y'all motherfuckers need more offal tacos in your life if you've never thought about this. Seriously, I have gout and a big toe the size of three big toes and I'll chow down on three or four in a heartbeat. No regrets, ever.
If you are in Denver-ish, I recommend and endorse TACOS Y SALSAS for your first experience.
posted by boo_radley at 3:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [9 favorites]
A haggis taco would be pretty tame in parts of Mexico.
I know many people like the taste of (I use the word in the technical, non-pejorative sense) offal, but I've never warmed up to it. But I guess this is a derail, so now that I've made my little joke I'll shut up about it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:23 PM on May 19, 2015
I know many people like the taste of (I use the word in the technical, non-pejorative sense) offal, but I've never warmed up to it. But I guess this is a derail, so now that I've made my little joke I'll shut up about it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:23 PM on May 19, 2015
I grew up in Texas -- Houston, to be more precise -- and now I live in Seattle. Down the road from me a spell there's a "mexican" restaurant that a lot of people I know loathe, because it isn't Mexican at all. It's tex-mex. And to my taste buds, it is pretty damn good. It's far from fine dining, and it doesn't have stuff like cabrito or lengua or the other things my brother and I used to dare each other to eat at Ninfa's, but if what you want is seasoned beef or chicken with grilled onions and lettuce and refried beans and cheddar cheese and sour cream and guacamole and pico de gallo, it is a good solid place for that.
Dangit I'm looking at Ninfa's menu online now and it looks like it's changed some. I don't remember crab cakes or brunch.
posted by KathrynT at 3:25 PM on May 19, 2015
Dangit I'm looking at Ninfa's menu online now and it looks like it's changed some. I don't remember crab cakes or brunch.
posted by KathrynT at 3:25 PM on May 19, 2015
Nah, need to save the tripe for menudo.
But I guess this is a derail, so now that I've made my little joke I'll shut up about it.
Oh, no biggie, it's just that it seemed like robocop threw out haggis as an extremely unlikely ingredient in tacos, but it's actually kind of the norm (minus the oatmeal and stuff). Places in TJ have tacos de ojo.
posted by LionIndex at 3:26 PM on May 19, 2015
But I guess this is a derail, so now that I've made my little joke I'll shut up about it.
Oh, no biggie, it's just that it seemed like robocop threw out haggis as an extremely unlikely ingredient in tacos, but it's actually kind of the norm (minus the oatmeal and stuff). Places in TJ have tacos de ojo.
posted by LionIndex at 3:26 PM on May 19, 2015
uberchet, our family rule is: never have Mexican food outside a state that has a border with Mexico. New Mexico and California's own variations of Mexican food are pretty good.
You'd be missing out on great Mexican food in Chicago then! Not much Tex-Mex, but great Mexican food is easily found all over the South Side.
Whenever I went home, the minute I got off the plane I would demand to be taken to somewhere Tex-Mex, immediately. My mom was a fan of Joe T. Garcia's, my brother tended to like Uncle Julio's, but any of a dozen other places would work just as well. At the first hit of just-right, freshly-made chips and salsa and the smell of fajitas, I'd start to relax. I was home.
Benito's is my comfort Mexican fave, though it's not really Tex-Mex at all.
posted by kmz at 3:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
You'd be missing out on great Mexican food in Chicago then! Not much Tex-Mex, but great Mexican food is easily found all over the South Side.
Whenever I went home, the minute I got off the plane I would demand to be taken to somewhere Tex-Mex, immediately. My mom was a fan of Joe T. Garcia's, my brother tended to like Uncle Julio's, but any of a dozen other places would work just as well. At the first hit of just-right, freshly-made chips and salsa and the smell of fajitas, I'd start to relax. I was home.
Benito's is my comfort Mexican fave, though it's not really Tex-Mex at all.
posted by kmz at 3:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Lengua and tripas (extra crispy please) tacos are the best.
posted by kmz at 3:28 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by kmz at 3:28 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
I was so so lonely for Tex-Mex food when I was in NYC and people kept telling me "Oh just get some Puerto Rican or Spanish food!" and no, these are not in the same universe (although tasty in their own ways) of food. It's a special thing, one that I honestly never thought of as that hard to cook, so I was surprised that such a cosmopolitan place couldn't manage it. But like iced tea with infinite refills*, TexMex just doesn't seem to flourish outside Texas (the rest of the Southwest does their Mexican food differently). Which is kind of cool and kind of frustrating at the same time.
Substitute "New Mexican food" for "Tex-Mex food" and you have my biggest food related gripe. I appreciate the attempts by well-meaning people to suggest their favorite Mexican restaurants, but they just don't understand that it is not the same.
posted by heurtebise at 3:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Substitute "New Mexican food" for "Tex-Mex food" and you have my biggest food related gripe. I appreciate the attempts by well-meaning people to suggest their favorite Mexican restaurants, but they just don't understand that it is not the same.
posted by heurtebise at 3:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
queso sampler
Why do people do this? Why not just call it a "cheese sampler"? Queso means cheese. It's like calling wine "vino" because you're an Italian restaurant.
Queso is what white people outside of Southern California call melted cheese. You sure as fuck would never call it "queso" in a real Mexican restaurant. So, I guess it's the opposite of your "vino" situation.
posted by sideshow at 3:45 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Why do people do this? Why not just call it a "cheese sampler"? Queso means cheese. It's like calling wine "vino" because you're an Italian restaurant.
Queso is what white people outside of Southern California call melted cheese. You sure as fuck would never call it "queso" in a real Mexican restaurant. So, I guess it's the opposite of your "vino" situation.
posted by sideshow at 3:45 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was really hoping for a review of NYC's new snake burger place, as well as the accompanying debate over authenticity.
posted by echocollate at 3:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by echocollate at 3:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
I know there's Basta Pasta which serves Japan's version of Italian food.
posted by gyc at 6:01 PM on May 19
Hah, I am reading this thread from the bar of Basta Pasta. It is my go-to neighborhood restaurant, have not had a bad meal in the decade-plus that I've been coming here.
posted by oh yeah! at 3:50 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by gyc at 6:01 PM on May 19
Hah, I am reading this thread from the bar of Basta Pasta. It is my go-to neighborhood restaurant, have not had a bad meal in the decade-plus that I've been coming here.
posted by oh yeah! at 3:50 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
I get that the ingredients will never quite the same, but the influx of Mexican immigrants into the northeast means that there's some pretty solid Mexican food to be had here if you're willing to look for it. Guatemalan cuisine is also making inroads in my neck of the woods.
posted by mollweide at 3:51 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by mollweide at 3:51 PM on May 19, 2015
I know there's Basta Pasta which serves Japan's version of Italian food
Like an American Saizeriya?
I like Tex-Mex, California Mexican, and the mostly-authentican Mexican you can also get in LA.
The only "bad" Mexican variation I've had is Japanese-Mexican. I... do not recommend. (To be fair, I've only ever encountered one Mexican restaurant in Japan, but unlike Japanese takes on American or Italian food, it was just not good at all).
posted by thefoxgod at 4:06 PM on May 19, 2015
Like an American Saizeriya?
I like Tex-Mex, California Mexican, and the mostly-authentican Mexican you can also get in LA.
The only "bad" Mexican variation I've had is Japanese-Mexican. I... do not recommend. (To be fair, I've only ever encountered one Mexican restaurant in Japan, but unlike Japanese takes on American or Italian food, it was just not good at all).
posted by thefoxgod at 4:06 PM on May 19, 2015
that description of the tortillas made me homesick for emelio's in battle creek, a long gone tex-mex restaurant ran (and cooked) by a san antonio native
the mexican restaurants in grand rapids were nothing like that
and popeye's - i ordered a po boy from the one in mishawaka and they forgot to include the meat, so they put my sandwich with a bite out of it on the counter and put the meat in
i was cool about it and got a couple of free cheesecakes for it - it's been my experience that one has to tolerate some funkiness to eat at popeye's
posted by pyramid termite at 4:10 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
the mexican restaurants in grand rapids were nothing like that
and popeye's - i ordered a po boy from the one in mishawaka and they forgot to include the meat, so they put my sandwich with a bite out of it on the counter and put the meat in
i was cool about it and got a couple of free cheesecakes for it - it's been my experience that one has to tolerate some funkiness to eat at popeye's
posted by pyramid termite at 4:10 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
You know, you can do a hell of a lot worse than good old Velveeta-and-Rotel.
posted by showbiz_liz
My shopping cart tonight agrees.
(Honestly it was inspired by showbiz_liz's comment specifically and this thread generally.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:17 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
I've had excellent Mexican food east of the Mississippi. Sure, it was St. Paul. So it was just a shade east of the Mississippi.
Anyone who thinks Minnesota is still "Tater tot hot dish dont'cha know!" hasn't been here recently. The foodies are taking over in Minneapolis. It's not just Mexican, although I do enjoy how prevalent it's become. I used to hit up a tiny shack of a La Loma in the skyway back when I worked downtown, and hot damn do I miss it.
I'm living in a time where they're flying seafood up here to serve in awesome cajun restaurants out in the sticks where I live. I used to frequent a great food truck downtown where they flew up fresh lobster for lobster rolls on a semi daily basis. Sure, it was a $12 roll, but it was lobster. Fresh lobster. In Minneapolis. Hey, the Mayor is in line behind me. What's up R.T.?
Not a Mexican food anecdote: My cousin's husband says the second best pho he's ever had was from a tiny greasy spoon of a shop in Frogtown. He was posted in Asia for four years and was a pho aficionado in a sea of pho aficionados, so I would like to think he knew his stuff. I was more worried that his rental car was going to get stolen than the dining recommendation from one of his old army facebook buds, but holy moly the food was insane.
posted by Sphinx at 4:56 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
Anyone who thinks Minnesota is still "Tater tot hot dish dont'cha know!" hasn't been here recently. The foodies are taking over in Minneapolis. It's not just Mexican, although I do enjoy how prevalent it's become. I used to hit up a tiny shack of a La Loma in the skyway back when I worked downtown, and hot damn do I miss it.
I'm living in a time where they're flying seafood up here to serve in awesome cajun restaurants out in the sticks where I live. I used to frequent a great food truck downtown where they flew up fresh lobster for lobster rolls on a semi daily basis. Sure, it was a $12 roll, but it was lobster. Fresh lobster. In Minneapolis. Hey, the Mayor is in line behind me. What's up R.T.?
Not a Mexican food anecdote: My cousin's husband says the second best pho he's ever had was from a tiny greasy spoon of a shop in Frogtown. He was posted in Asia for four years and was a pho aficionado in a sea of pho aficionados, so I would like to think he knew his stuff. I was more worried that his rental car was going to get stolen than the dining recommendation from one of his old army facebook buds, but holy moly the food was insane.
posted by Sphinx at 4:56 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
I wonder if a grapefruit margarita is good?
tequila and grapefruit are glorious together
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:58 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
tequila and grapefruit are glorious together
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:58 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
The only "bad" Mexican variation I've had is Japanese-Mexican. I... do not recommend.
There used to be a Japanese restaurant here in Las Cruces that had tempura made from New Mexico (Big Jim) chiles. It was delicious, kind of like a relleno without the regret.
Also, flat enchiladas with a fried egg on top seems more like a New Mexico thing than a Tex-Mex thing.
posted by Killick at 4:59 PM on May 19, 2015
There used to be a Japanese restaurant here in Las Cruces that had tempura made from New Mexico (Big Jim) chiles. It was delicious, kind of like a relleno without the regret.
Also, flat enchiladas with a fried egg on top seems more like a New Mexico thing than a Tex-Mex thing.
posted by Killick at 4:59 PM on May 19, 2015
Sphinx--with you on Smackshack; but more importantly, where is this best pho ever? Where?!
posted by librosegretti at 5:04 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by librosegretti at 5:04 PM on May 19, 2015
Sphinx--with you on Smackshack; but more importantly, where is this best pho ever? Where?!
Phô is played out. What's next?
posted by rankfreudlite at 5:06 PM on May 19, 2015
Phô is played out. What's next?
posted by rankfreudlite at 5:06 PM on May 19, 2015
On our honeymoon we were in the big weekly mercado in Toluca. We were looking for lunch while gasping for air at 8750 feet elevation. We wandered into a large building promising comida and found ourselves in the middle of the Hot Steaming Entrails Department. The odor was ... intense. Somehow lunch didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. I think we managed to choke down a Sidral before catching the bus back to DF...
posted by jim in austin at 5:07 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by jim in austin at 5:07 PM on May 19, 2015
where is this best pho ever?
Not sure, but this place has the best name for a pho restaurant ever.
posted by grouse at 5:09 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Not sure, but this place has the best name for a pho restaurant ever.
posted by grouse at 5:09 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Yes, but, Garrison Keillor!
posted by rankfreudlite at 5:10 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by rankfreudlite at 5:10 PM on May 19, 2015
... it is a bad taquería. But is bad in the way that lousy taquerías in Mexico City are bad, and thus I highly recommend it should you find yourself in Manhattan jonesing legitimate Mexican street food.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 5:15 PM on May 19, 2015
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 5:15 PM on May 19, 2015
uberchet - Because it's funny to suggest restaurants in Texas have poor service? HAW HAW HAW!
No, because Tex-Mex restaurants in my experience tend to be huge chains like Chuy's and the service is on par with other large restaurant chains. Which is to say, pretty dodgy in the way the article describes.
Are you from Texas? Leave it to a Texan to get all bent out of shape when someone messes with them a little.
posted by carsonb at 5:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
No, because Tex-Mex restaurants in my experience tend to be huge chains like Chuy's and the service is on par with other large restaurant chains. Which is to say, pretty dodgy in the way the article describes.
Are you from Texas? Leave it to a Texan to get all bent out of shape when someone messes with them a little.
posted by carsonb at 5:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
a big toe the size of three big toes
i thought you meant you had this in tacos and i was like well ok then i guess
posted by poffin boffin at 5:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
i thought you meant you had this in tacos and i was like well ok then i guess
posted by poffin boffin at 5:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
tequila and grapefruit are glorious together
Stiegl Grapefuit Radler is the ultimate summer shandy but when you add one shot of Don Julio Blanco you've got an awesome Paloma to go with it.
Give it a try. And don't substitute the Schofferhofer Grapefruit, that stuff is nasty.
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:26 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Stiegl Grapefuit Radler is the ultimate summer shandy but when you add one shot of Don Julio Blanco you've got an awesome Paloma to go with it.
Give it a try. And don't substitute the Schofferhofer Grapefruit, that stuff is nasty.
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:26 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Had the weirdest experience in Manhattan a few years ago. We were visiting my wife's extended family and wandering around Columbus Circle with her aunt, cousin, and her cousin's kids, taking in the sights and looking for a place to eat, and I guess we passed at least one Mexican-ish restaurant on every block. And being blessed with some truly great local taquerias back home in California, I looked past these places because yeah, I'm a snob when it comes to preferring the Northern California interpretation of Mexican food, and most places outside of the Bay Area and other coastal CA cities don't get it right, bless their hearts. And my own local taquerias aren't even that good by the standards of the greater Bay Area or L.A. - I mean, I think they're great and all, but I know they are just "good" compared to places in Oakland and San Jose, never mind the places in the Mission District or East L.A. that have cult followings and such; it's the price of living in the 'burbs.
Anyway, the thing that blew my mind was how many of these NYC Mexican restaurants had large banners proclaiming they were "Proudly Serving Authentic SF Mission-style Burritos!" What the actual fuck?! That's a pretty specific thing, and at the time I wasn't aware that Mission-style burritos had any sort of presence outside the greater Bay Area. I wasn't so desperate for Mexican food that I wanted to try one, but the mere fact that they existed in NYC fascinated me. My not-very-profound takeaway was that any regional cuisine that rises above the mediocre will at some point migrate to NYC in search of a cosmopolitan audience. Some foods make the journey and flourish, but most are shamelessly abused and die in the attempt. So it goes.
Javelina sounds like it falls into the latter category. I respect Tex-Mex for what it is, and I know what it isn't. While I prefer my local variant of Mexican food, Tex-Mex is variation that I enjoy when it is done correctly. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Too bad.
posted by mosk at 5:26 PM on May 19, 2015
Anyway, the thing that blew my mind was how many of these NYC Mexican restaurants had large banners proclaiming they were "Proudly Serving Authentic SF Mission-style Burritos!" What the actual fuck?! That's a pretty specific thing, and at the time I wasn't aware that Mission-style burritos had any sort of presence outside the greater Bay Area. I wasn't so desperate for Mexican food that I wanted to try one, but the mere fact that they existed in NYC fascinated me. My not-very-profound takeaway was that any regional cuisine that rises above the mediocre will at some point migrate to NYC in search of a cosmopolitan audience. Some foods make the journey and flourish, but most are shamelessly abused and die in the attempt. So it goes.
Javelina sounds like it falls into the latter category. I respect Tex-Mex for what it is, and I know what it isn't. While I prefer my local variant of Mexican food, Tex-Mex is variation that I enjoy when it is done correctly. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Too bad.
posted by mosk at 5:26 PM on May 19, 2015
Holy crap, does this work as well as advertised? Because that sounds just about magical.
It does, and it is. I was dubious myself, but based on the thread I mentioned before, I bought a tub of it and gave it a whirl. I can't say I've tried it with every cheese (I'm dubious about feta or parmesan, for instance), but the sauces I made came out very tasty and smooth as silk. I used extra sharp tillamook cheddar, a local pepper cheese, beer, sodium citrate, and nothing else. I used an immersion blender also; not sure if that's required. I still need to do more experimentation. I've used it for nachos and mac & cheese so far.
More info on its mechanisms and origins here.
posted by tempestuoso at 5:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
It does, and it is. I was dubious myself, but based on the thread I mentioned before, I bought a tub of it and gave it a whirl. I can't say I've tried it with every cheese (I'm dubious about feta or parmesan, for instance), but the sauces I made came out very tasty and smooth as silk. I used extra sharp tillamook cheddar, a local pepper cheese, beer, sodium citrate, and nothing else. I used an immersion blender also; not sure if that's required. I still need to do more experimentation. I've used it for nachos and mac & cheese so far.
More info on its mechanisms and origins here.
posted by tempestuoso at 5:27 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
i don't have much patience for the "is it or isn't ~*authentic*~" conversation for most things anymore. mostly i'm just like "is this food tasty and do i remain free of any grotesque stomach ailments when eating here" and if the answer is yes to both then i am good.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:34 PM on May 19, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 5:34 PM on May 19, 2015 [15 favorites]
oh but i did overhear someone on the 3 train the other day earnestly talking about vegan cuban sandwiches and i became so enraged that i missed my stop
posted by poffin boffin at 5:35 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 5:35 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
a big toe the size of three big toes
i thought you meant you had this in tacos
No, that's Maryland cuisine apparently.
posted by moonmilk at 5:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
i thought you meant you had this in tacos
No, that's Maryland cuisine apparently.
posted by moonmilk at 5:41 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
vegan cuban sandwiches
*randomly smashes a vase*
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:42 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
*randomly smashes a vase*
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:42 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
librosegretti: "Sphinx--with you on Smackshack; but more importantly, where is this best pho ever? Where?!"
I wasn't paying enough attention, and I thought it closed, but it might be pho ca dao it was one of the restaurants in that 12 block radius.
posted by Sphinx at 5:43 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
I wasn't paying enough attention, and I thought it closed, but it might be pho ca dao it was one of the restaurants in that 12 block radius.
posted by Sphinx at 5:43 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
*not presweetened, that's more of a Southern thing
My queston is why you would ever not want it pre sweetened because having to mix it the sugar myself while cold is like, my worst nightmare. I will no lie avoid restaurants for lack of sweet tea (awful beverage tap tea does not count).
so grainy
And I mean, if it's too sweet you can always ask for half and half sweet/unsweet
posted by Gymnopedist at 5:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
My queston is why you would ever not want it pre sweetened because having to mix it the sugar myself while cold is like, my worst nightmare. I will no lie avoid restaurants for lack of sweet tea (awful beverage tap tea does not count).
so grainy
And I mean, if it's too sweet you can always ask for half and half sweet/unsweet
posted by Gymnopedist at 5:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
My queston is why you would ever not want it pre sweetened because having to mix it the sugar myself while cold is like, my worst nightmare.
Saccharin mixes in cold tea much better than sugar does, and has no calories. Also, sometimes I just enjoy drinking unsweetened ice tea.
posted by grouse at 6:03 PM on May 19, 2015
Saccharin mixes in cold tea much better than sugar does, and has no calories. Also, sometimes I just enjoy drinking unsweetened ice tea.
posted by grouse at 6:03 PM on May 19, 2015
As luck would have it, I was in Fort Worth last weekend and went to a Tex-Mex place. Since the carne asada didn't come with tortillas (a hangin' crime where I'm from)
As a Californian, I would...not recommend carne asada in Texas. The carnitas are fine but the carne asada just isn't the same. Tex-Mex is very mirror image to Cal-Mex: I love that I can get sopapillas and those little carmelized pralines but I miss churros and horchata.
KathrynT, Ninfa's is under new management (still tasty but not top notch) and the family runs their restaurants under a different name these days. I have lots of Tex Mex recommendations in Houston; Ninfa's would be on the list but not as high as it would have been in the glory days.
posted by librarylis at 6:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
As a Californian, I would...not recommend carne asada in Texas. The carnitas are fine but the carne asada just isn't the same. Tex-Mex is very mirror image to Cal-Mex: I love that I can get sopapillas and those little carmelized pralines but I miss churros and horchata.
KathrynT, Ninfa's is under new management (still tasty but not top notch) and the family runs their restaurants under a different name these days. I have lots of Tex Mex recommendations in Houston; Ninfa's would be on the list but not as high as it would have been in the glory days.
posted by librarylis at 6:06 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Saccharin mixes in cold tea much better than sugar does
I didn't know that. One of those substances that gets less soluble with more heat? Neato
posted by Gymnopedist at 6:18 PM on May 19, 2015
I didn't know that. One of those substances that gets less soluble with more heat? Neato
posted by Gymnopedist at 6:18 PM on May 19, 2015
queso será, será.
Whatever will cheese will cheese?
posted by scalefree at 6:38 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
Whatever will cheese will cheese?
posted by scalefree at 6:38 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
As a Californian, I would...not recommend carne asada in Texas. The carnitas are fine but the carne asada just isn't the same
Huh. My expectation would be the opposite, since Texas didn't strike me as being as down with pig as all the San Diego Mexican places are. The place we went to didn't even have carnitas on the menu (I don't know if they had any pork at all), which would be bizarre in San Diego. The carne asada was actually pretty good, I'm just used to getting some kind of tortilla, either on the side or wrapped around something, with the meal at a Mexican place.
posted by LionIndex at 6:38 PM on May 19, 2015
Huh. My expectation would be the opposite, since Texas didn't strike me as being as down with pig as all the San Diego Mexican places are. The place we went to didn't even have carnitas on the menu (I don't know if they had any pork at all), which would be bizarre in San Diego. The carne asada was actually pretty good, I'm just used to getting some kind of tortilla, either on the side or wrapped around something, with the meal at a Mexican place.
posted by LionIndex at 6:38 PM on May 19, 2015
Yes, my personal Texas iced tea method is; get large and ice-filled glass of tea (not too strong, not too weak; but your ice will melt some, so too weak is really too weak). Squeeze in some of the provided lemon (or don't). Add Sweet n Low or other fake sugar to taste, which dissolves much better than real sugar.
Now the tricky bit is this; the waiter sees you have drunk half your tea and fills you back up. How much Sweet n' Low do you put in to compensate? It's a delicate balance. Some waiters also have special just-enough-ice adding techniques, and will do so to your specifications. Indifferent waiters keep adding tepid tea without more ice, leading to an unsatisfyingly warm drink.
At the end, you will have made at least one bathroom trip and have fake-sugar-packet detritus around your glass (proper technique is to lay your used teaspoon on top of an empty packet). How many and how much depends on how hot and thirsty you are and how dedicated your waiter is to keeping you topped off.
In New York I once made the mistake of ordering iced tea and, going by its taste, it had been brewed in a coffee pot. I did not do that again.
posted by emjaybee at 6:40 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Now the tricky bit is this; the waiter sees you have drunk half your tea and fills you back up. How much Sweet n' Low do you put in to compensate? It's a delicate balance. Some waiters also have special just-enough-ice adding techniques, and will do so to your specifications. Indifferent waiters keep adding tepid tea without more ice, leading to an unsatisfyingly warm drink.
At the end, you will have made at least one bathroom trip and have fake-sugar-packet detritus around your glass (proper technique is to lay your used teaspoon on top of an empty packet). How many and how much depends on how hot and thirsty you are and how dedicated your waiter is to keeping you topped off.
In New York I once made the mistake of ordering iced tea and, going by its taste, it had been brewed in a coffee pot. I did not do that again.
posted by emjaybee at 6:40 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Did you guys know that "salsa" just means sauce
Wait I thought "Salsa" meant fancy dancing.
posted by drinkyclown at 7:37 PM on May 19, 2015
Wait I thought "Salsa" meant fancy dancing.
posted by drinkyclown at 7:37 PM on May 19, 2015
The only Mexican food that counts for me is the kind made for me by my wonderful Mexican mother, and the kind I get when I go visit my tiny little grandma who speaks no English and lives in Lytle, Texas. I leave it to the white people to argue over what is authentic for them; I just eat all the yummy homemade tortillas and beans and everything else my family sets in front of me (except for menudo, NO THANK YOU).
posted by Kitteh at 7:44 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitteh at 7:44 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is this snark, or do New Yorkers actually make reservations to eat Tex-Mex? Because the very idea makes me laugh.
To Texans, eating Tex-Mex is considered a basic biological function. You should not need to make a reservation for that.
To New Yorkers, snark is considered a basic biological function.
posted by Native in Exile at 7:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
To Texans, eating Tex-Mex is considered a basic biological function. You should not need to make a reservation for that.
To New Yorkers, snark is considered a basic biological function.
posted by Native in Exile at 7:46 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
poffin boffin: "i thought you meant you had this in tacos and i was like well ok then i guess"
Oh, gordo del pie tacos? Also fine.
posted by boo_radley at 7:46 PM on May 19, 2015
Oh, gordo del pie tacos? Also fine.
posted by boo_radley at 7:46 PM on May 19, 2015
My queston is why you would ever not want it pre sweetened because having to mix it the sugar myself while cold is like, my worst nightmare. I will no lie avoid restaurants for lack of sweet tea (awful beverage tap tea does not count).
At least one restaurant in this world of ours has figured out that they should serve unsweetened iced tea with a little dingus of simple syrup. Nice place near the square in Denton... Hannah's?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:01 PM on May 19, 2015
At least one restaurant in this world of ours has figured out that they should serve unsweetened iced tea with a little dingus of simple syrup. Nice place near the square in Denton... Hannah's?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:01 PM on May 19, 2015
Also this thread is relevant to my interests because I'm relocating to DFW in about 3 weeks...I've been trolling the review sites for various tex/mex/texmex eating-places
so that I may begin my vision quest
MY BODY IS READY
the wallet of my cardiologist, it quivers with anticipation
posted by Doleful Creature at 8:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
so that I may begin my vision quest
MY BODY IS READY
the wallet of my cardiologist, it quivers with anticipation
posted by Doleful Creature at 8:04 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
uberchet: "Joakim, you're really close to "old man yells at cloud" territory here. Here on planet Earth, we sometimes encounter words being used correctly in new contexts and carrying meanings with which we are unfamiliar. While you're within your rights, obviously, to be "annoyed" by it, the usage that annoys you has been perfectly standard for generations in parts of the country, and is in no way, shape, or form incorrect. Deal with it."
I probably am. I admit I had no idea this was a common thing (in some places), I thought it was something the restaurant invented (which would have been far more annoying). I live in Mexico, and it's just jarring when this kind of weird (to me) usage pops up, I guess.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 9:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
I probably am. I admit I had no idea this was a common thing (in some places), I thought it was something the restaurant invented (which would have been far more annoying). I live in Mexico, and it's just jarring when this kind of weird (to me) usage pops up, I guess.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 9:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
I went to the Homesick Texan restaurant last night, with high hopes, in spite of negative reviews. Sigh. Javelina was next on my list, dammit.
My new theory is that there are tiny light sensors embedded on the bottom of the chip baskets at Chuy's. That shit is surreal.
posted by unknowncommand at 9:28 PM on May 19, 2015
My new theory is that there are tiny light sensors embedded on the bottom of the chip baskets at Chuy's. That shit is surreal.
posted by unknowncommand at 9:28 PM on May 19, 2015
I live in Mexico, and it's just jarring when this kind of weird (to me) usage pops up, I guess.
Mexico? You mean that place where they persist in thinking a "tortilla" is a cornmeal flatbread rather than a small egg and potato pie?
(Food names are flexible. They're only weird when you're sure your usage is the only "correct" one.)
posted by neroli at 9:48 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
Mexico? You mean that place where they persist in thinking a "tortilla" is a cornmeal flatbread rather than a small egg and potato pie?
(Food names are flexible. They're only weird when you're sure your usage is the only "correct" one.)
posted by neroli at 9:48 PM on May 19, 2015 [6 favorites]
We have a chain called Chuy's here in Tucson too, but they do tri-tip and fish tacos. Kind of a mesquite beach grill thing.
Tucson also has yummy delicious Sonoran food. Refried beans forever!
posted by Squeak Attack at 10:02 PM on May 19, 2015
Tucson also has yummy delicious Sonoran food. Refried beans forever!
posted by Squeak Attack at 10:02 PM on May 19, 2015
I feel like we have the best of all worlds with Mexican food variety in Colorado, especially the Denver area but Mexican- and non-Mexican-Americans alike run restaurants throughout the suburbs and there are families that feud over unlicensed clones of their restaurants and burritos sold at 2AM when bars are closing "redolent" with green chile and pork chunks with a distinct stripe of cheesy-goodness going down the middle. There is a distinct local style like with Colorado-style green chile [porky goodness stew] and plenty of Tex-Mex crossover, and at least 3-4 "Mission Style" chains like Chipotle, Qdoba, Illegal Pete's, but the good sit-down places (sometimes local chains) and more mom-and-pop restaurants tend to have specific and often absurdly vast offerings (as seen with some Vietnamese restaurant menus here) from multiple regions of Mexico, with a strong emphasis on seafood dishes to offset the heavy cheesy more standard fare. The "Colorado + Tex-Mex Style Cheesy Smothered Stuff" (which is awesome in its own right) is often best realized with an ala carte or combination menu that lets you try 2-3 things affordably, and there are multiple local and highly regarded chains that crank out excellent breakfast burritos wrapped in foil, combination plates cranked out at a quick-service window served in a styrofoam box or perhaps paper plates stapled to each other forming a closed plate-pouch (and microwave safe due to the size and shape of staples, you might not have guessed).
I ate once at a local chain in Arizona, and it was all alien and disappointing in the way I imagine Japanese Mexican Food might be and there was a language barrier issue with the concept of "smothering" and "green chile" a mere 90-might flight away. As I suspected their idea of serving a burrito was basically just a freakin' crappy tortilla wrapped around salty beef with nothing on the plate. Colorado style is going to encourage good homemade flour (for burritos, corn for tacos) tortillas, perfectly-seasoned-through-braising meat, smothering it with slow-cooked green chile stew / pork-fat-roux-gravy / heaven's porridge / whatevs -- for best results, use an absolute ton of roasted chile peppers in the dynamite range that can be purchased freshly roasted on Federal Boulevard in the late summer / early fall.
I was nice about my burrito order in Arizona but just stumbled into talking about "smothering" without realizing what I was getting into. They were almost accusational in the their inquiry as to what this meant. They ended up pouring very tangy and salty green enchilada sauce on the overly salty burrito and ground some black pepper on it. Black pepper might as well been ground baby bones, I was like !
posted by aydeejones at 3:30 AM on May 20, 2015
I ate once at a local chain in Arizona, and it was all alien and disappointing in the way I imagine Japanese Mexican Food might be and there was a language barrier issue with the concept of "smothering" and "green chile" a mere 90-might flight away. As I suspected their idea of serving a burrito was basically just a freakin' crappy tortilla wrapped around salty beef with nothing on the plate. Colorado style is going to encourage good homemade flour (for burritos, corn for tacos) tortillas, perfectly-seasoned-through-braising meat, smothering it with slow-cooked green chile stew / pork-fat-roux-gravy / heaven's porridge / whatevs -- for best results, use an absolute ton of roasted chile peppers in the dynamite range that can be purchased freshly roasted on Federal Boulevard in the late summer / early fall.
I was nice about my burrito order in Arizona but just stumbled into talking about "smothering" without realizing what I was getting into. They were almost accusational in the their inquiry as to what this meant. They ended up pouring very tangy and salty green enchilada sauce on the overly salty burrito and ground some black pepper on it. Black pepper might as well been ground baby bones, I was like !
posted by aydeejones at 3:30 AM on May 20, 2015
"Redolent" is an oft-selected adjective paired with pork and chunks or nuggety-bits of texture often employed within the pages of our Village Voice clone, Westword. Especially in the annual "Best of Denver" issue
posted by aydeejones at 3:32 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by aydeejones at 3:32 AM on May 20, 2015
Piles of cheese are not essential with Colorado-style staples but is highly popular to employ it nonetheless, as with sour cream, but refried beans or house salsa quality alone are often used to judge a restaurant's prowess. Some restaurants make "Mexican Hamburgers" so artfully it's like "why did you attain such a wondrous brown texture on this crazy beefy patty just so slap refried beans on it and put it inside a homemade tortilla and cover it with a thick spicy stewy-gravy-concoction that's been simmering for 8 hours or was made yesterday and more excellent after resting a bit oh nevermind nom'ty'fuckin'nom"
The request for cheese or smothering with green chile is often balanced in a fumbling fashion with iceberg lettuce and chopped tomatoes but I am not a fan of crappy tomatoes and lettuce getting soggy and sopping up some of my delicious green chile into a crappy lettuce matrix.
posted by aydeejones at 3:38 AM on May 20, 2015
The request for cheese or smothering with green chile is often balanced in a fumbling fashion with iceberg lettuce and chopped tomatoes but I am not a fan of crappy tomatoes and lettuce getting soggy and sopping up some of my delicious green chile into a crappy lettuce matrix.
posted by aydeejones at 3:38 AM on May 20, 2015
I'm going to open a restaurant named "Pork and Nuggety-Bits of Texture."
posted by rankfreudlite at 3:41 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by rankfreudlite at 3:41 AM on May 20, 2015
. . . but on the side we will serve "Spicy Stewy-Gravy-Concoction" (served on a crappy lettuce matrix). I suppose it's better than the Brits with their "Garbage Box, served with Crappy Salad" (served to a mangy dog behind a Glaswegian skip). Serve.
posted by rankfreudlite at 3:50 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by rankfreudlite at 3:50 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
queso será, será.
Whatever will cheese will cheese?
I interpreted that as "It will be cheese, it will", like I've just ordered some mystery appetizer and I've got my eyes closed and my hands clasped in prayer and I'm licking my lips, and also probably clicking my red shoes together like Dorothy. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:18 AM on May 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Whatever will cheese will cheese?
I interpreted that as "It will be cheese, it will", like I've just ordered some mystery appetizer and I've got my eyes closed and my hands clasped in prayer and I'm licking my lips, and also probably clicking my red shoes together like Dorothy. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:18 AM on May 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese.
A few days ago I got a burrito from a taco stand that had all the right signifiers of having decent food. It was awful, mostly because they loaded it up so much with mediocre cheese.
"Authentic" is not a particularly useful term when discussing such syncretic food, but even without going down that path there are clearly better and worse balances of flavors and textures, and it is always a bit sad when you encounter food that has been lessened in that way.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:54 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
A few days ago I got a burrito from a taco stand that had all the right signifiers of having decent food. It was awful, mostly because they loaded it up so much with mediocre cheese.
"Authentic" is not a particularly useful term when discussing such syncretic food, but even without going down that path there are clearly better and worse balances of flavors and textures, and it is always a bit sad when you encounter food that has been lessened in that way.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:54 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
MY BODY IS READY
Can't help you much on the D side for Tex-Mex, but on the FW side... Benito's, Melis, Salsa Limon, any random tacqueria on Hemphill, the aforementioned Joe T Garcia's and Uncle Julio's for Tex-Mex. Can't really go wrong with any of them.
posted by kmz at 6:15 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Can't help you much on the D side for Tex-Mex, but on the FW side... Benito's, Melis, Salsa Limon, any random tacqueria on Hemphill, the aforementioned Joe T Garcia's and Uncle Julio's for Tex-Mex. Can't really go wrong with any of them.
posted by kmz at 6:15 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
tempestuoso: "Just use sodium citrate. Then you can use any cheese."
Holy crap, does this work as well as advertised? Because that sounds just about magical.
Well I just ordered some so I guess we will find out.
Shit is about to get REAL in the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen, I tell you what.
Also, I would prefer that the Javelina simply remain the magical animal that, when I encounter a herd of them in the wild, can give me the ability to levitate high up into a live oak, with no memory of how I got up there exactly.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:50 AM on May 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Garbage Box, served with Crappy Salad" (served to a mangy dog behind a Glaswegian skip). Serve.
Wait, what? Should I be insulted by that, or what? I'm not going to tell you that Scottish cuisine is uniformly great, but this is from a country that thinks velveeta is an acceptable substitute for ANYTHING you would willingly ingest?
There's a Coloradoan that runs a Burrito joint here in Edinburgh called Los Cardos that does Haggis Tacos. It's pretty bloody good. Not as good as the Tex Mex I tried in Austin a few years back, but I kinda get the feeling that that's to be expected?
posted by trif at 8:20 AM on May 20, 2015
Wait, what? Should I be insulted by that, or what? I'm not going to tell you that Scottish cuisine is uniformly great, but this is from a country that thinks velveeta is an acceptable substitute for ANYTHING you would willingly ingest?
There's a Coloradoan that runs a Burrito joint here in Edinburgh called Los Cardos that does Haggis Tacos. It's pretty bloody good. Not as good as the Tex Mex I tried in Austin a few years back, but I kinda get the feeling that that's to be expected?
posted by trif at 8:20 AM on May 20, 2015
Vegan Cuban Sandwich (not gluten free ; )
1 loaf Cuban bread (soft french bread would also work)
1 package seiten
4 dill pickle slices chopped into smaller pieces
mozzarella (or swiss if there is such a thing) soy cheese
yellow mustard
vegenaise or soy mayo
vegetarian worstershire
ground cumin
garlic powder
salt & pepper
soy butter/marg
First cut about a 12 inch segment of the Cuban bread lengthwise. Spread a little soy butter on each open face. Then toast face down in a skillet until lightly browned.
Slice about 8 to 10, 2"-4" long thin slices of seiten. Season half of them with a few drops worstershire, and a light sprinkling salt, pepper, garlic powder and cumin. Put a few drops of oil in a skillet and brown the seiten on each side on medium heat. The purpose of this is to immulate the pork in a traditional Cuban sandwich. Set the remaining cold slices of seiten aside and do not season.
Spread some vegenaise and mustard on each half of the bread. Assemble the seiten on the bottom side, the cooked followed by the cold. Then top this with soy cheese and pickles and then the top of the bread.
Now you need a sandwich press if you have one. If so, press the sandwich until slightly flattened and toasty with the cheese melted.
If you don't have a press, use the skillet the bread was toasted in, place the sandwich on med-low heat and press down with a large spatula for about 60 seconds. Cover and let cheese melt, about 2 more minutes. Then flip over and repeat.
Remove and cut the sandwich in half and serve
posted by asok at 8:50 AM on May 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
1 loaf Cuban bread (soft french bread would also work)
1 package seiten
4 dill pickle slices chopped into smaller pieces
mozzarella (or swiss if there is such a thing) soy cheese
yellow mustard
vegenaise or soy mayo
vegetarian worstershire
ground cumin
garlic powder
salt & pepper
soy butter/marg
First cut about a 12 inch segment of the Cuban bread lengthwise. Spread a little soy butter on each open face. Then toast face down in a skillet until lightly browned.
Slice about 8 to 10, 2"-4" long thin slices of seiten. Season half of them with a few drops worstershire, and a light sprinkling salt, pepper, garlic powder and cumin. Put a few drops of oil in a skillet and brown the seiten on each side on medium heat. The purpose of this is to immulate the pork in a traditional Cuban sandwich. Set the remaining cold slices of seiten aside and do not season.
Spread some vegenaise and mustard on each half of the bread. Assemble the seiten on the bottom side, the cooked followed by the cold. Then top this with soy cheese and pickles and then the top of the bread.
Now you need a sandwich press if you have one. If so, press the sandwich until slightly flattened and toasty with the cheese melted.
If you don't have a press, use the skillet the bread was toasted in, place the sandwich on med-low heat and press down with a large spatula for about 60 seconds. Cover and let cheese melt, about 2 more minutes. Then flip over and repeat.
Remove and cut the sandwich in half and serve
posted by asok at 8:50 AM on May 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
asok, I am on that like white on rice (using my own homemade vegan cheeses for the swiss) but be prepared for this to go badly with hardcore omnivores here!
posted by Kitteh at 8:54 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by Kitteh at 8:54 AM on May 20, 2015
Yeah, I like the chipotle flavour. I hear good things about Just Mayo but it is not available in Canada, I don't think.
posted by Kitteh at 9:09 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by Kitteh at 9:09 AM on May 20, 2015
Is totally a thing. Works fine on sandwiches.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:09 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:09 AM on May 20, 2015
veganeise is a real thing?
It's pretty good on burgers.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 9:17 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
It's pretty good on burgers.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 9:17 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Even the water is sometimes served at room temperature.
One of Javelina’s calling cards, queso, is usually suggested by the servers when taking orders. Occasionally this Tex-Mex cheese fondue is served hot, but more often it arrives lukewarm, which prevents trips to the emergency room.
What's confusing is that he seems to have nothing good to say about the place, and yet he seems to have gone more than once.
posted by epanalepsis at 9:29 AM on May 20, 2015
One of Javelina’s calling cards, queso, is usually suggested by the servers when taking orders. Occasionally this Tex-Mex cheese fondue is served hot, but more often it arrives lukewarm, which prevents trips to the emergency room.
What's confusing is that he seems to have nothing good to say about the place, and yet he seems to have gone more than once.
posted by epanalepsis at 9:29 AM on May 20, 2015
What's confusing is that he seems to have nothing good to say about the place, and yet he seems to have gone more than once.
That is a restaurant reviewer's job.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:31 AM on May 20, 2015 [9 favorites]
That is a restaurant reviewer's job.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:31 AM on May 20, 2015 [9 favorites]
What's confusing is that he seems to have nothing good to say about the place, and yet he seems to have gone more than once.
How much food so you think a reviewer can eat in one sitting? Especially when writing a bad review, many food critics make extra certain to go to a place several times to make sure their experience is consistent and the quality of the food can fairly be commented on, in case their first experience was an anomaly.
posted by maxsparber at 9:39 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
How much food so you think a reviewer can eat in one sitting? Especially when writing a bad review, many food critics make extra certain to go to a place several times to make sure their experience is consistent and the quality of the food can fairly be commented on, in case their first experience was an anomaly.
posted by maxsparber at 9:39 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Ooo in fact I just found the Association of Food Journalists' Food Critic Guidelines:
Within the constraints of time and budget, critics should visit a restaurant as many times as is needed to properly assess a restaurant. Two or more visits to a restaurant are ideal for the purposes of full-length reviews. Service, food quality and atmosphere can vary, sometimes quite dramatically, from day to day. Multiple visits give the critic a better understanding of the restaurant, helping him or her to more accurately gauge its rhythm and spirit.
When only one visit is possible, it is best to attempt to have the most typical experience diners will be seeking out at a restaurant. Do not visit at lunch to write about a restaurant specializing in dinner; if the restaurant's specialty is a tasting menu, it would be best to order that instead of à la carte if it is financially possible. If writing a full-length review on the basis of a single visit, acknowledge the situation in the review.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:41 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Within the constraints of time and budget, critics should visit a restaurant as many times as is needed to properly assess a restaurant. Two or more visits to a restaurant are ideal for the purposes of full-length reviews. Service, food quality and atmosphere can vary, sometimes quite dramatically, from day to day. Multiple visits give the critic a better understanding of the restaurant, helping him or her to more accurately gauge its rhythm and spirit.
When only one visit is possible, it is best to attempt to have the most typical experience diners will be seeking out at a restaurant. Do not visit at lunch to write about a restaurant specializing in dinner; if the restaurant's specialty is a tasting menu, it would be best to order that instead of à la carte if it is financially possible. If writing a full-length review on the basis of a single visit, acknowledge the situation in the review.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:41 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I myself have actually worked* as a secret shopper for restaurants in the past, and those restaurants who can afford it will insist on multiple 'shops' per month. That's the only way to know if a problem is chronic or was just a one-time fluke.
*Payment: all the food is free, plus $5 for train fare. Not really a "job" per se but useful when dating...
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:44 AM on May 20, 2015
*Payment: all the food is free, plus $5 for train fare. Not really a "job" per se but useful when dating...
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:44 AM on May 20, 2015
That actually makes a lot of sense, I forgot he wasn't spending his own money. Life's different in the professional world, I guess.
posted by epanalepsis at 9:45 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by epanalepsis at 9:45 AM on May 20, 2015
KathrynT, Houstonian here. The original Ninfa's on Navigation is still very good, but I don't think the family has anything to do with it anymore. The folks managing it are real sticklers for Houston traditions, so it's in good hands. They've stepped the menu up a little to keep from being just-another-stop, basically.
Kmz: "You'd be missing out on great Mexican food in Chicago then!"
I'm okay with that in principle, but obviously it's not an ironclad rule in the presence of believable testimony. The rule protects more than it limits. When you do as much business travel as I have, you learn that what people in (e.g.) Kansas City think of as good Tex-Mex really isn't. Outside the Safe Zone, they all make me feel like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
sideshow: "You sure as fuck would never call it "queso" in a real Mexican restaurant."
Gosh, I guess the interior Mexican places here that serve queso aren't "real," huh?
carsonb: "No, because Tex-Mex restaurants in my experience tend to be huge chains like Chuy's"
No. Big chains tend to be big chains. It's orthogonal to food tradition.
"Are you from Texas? Leave it to a Texan to get all bent out of shape when someone messes with them a little."
Oh, please. Say something valid and not ridiculous and nobody would mind. You're compounding your error now by insisting I'm oversensitive about Texas when what's really happened is you said something silly and got called on it.
posted by uberchet at 9:59 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Kmz: "You'd be missing out on great Mexican food in Chicago then!"
I'm okay with that in principle, but obviously it's not an ironclad rule in the presence of believable testimony. The rule protects more than it limits. When you do as much business travel as I have, you learn that what people in (e.g.) Kansas City think of as good Tex-Mex really isn't. Outside the Safe Zone, they all make me feel like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
sideshow: "You sure as fuck would never call it "queso" in a real Mexican restaurant."
Gosh, I guess the interior Mexican places here that serve queso aren't "real," huh?
carsonb: "No, because Tex-Mex restaurants in my experience tend to be huge chains like Chuy's"
No. Big chains tend to be big chains. It's orthogonal to food tradition.
"Are you from Texas? Leave it to a Texan to get all bent out of shape when someone messes with them a little."
Oh, please. Say something valid and not ridiculous and nobody would mind. You're compounding your error now by insisting I'm oversensitive about Texas when what's really happened is you said something silly and got called on it.
posted by uberchet at 9:59 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Holy crap, does this work as well as advertised? Because that sounds just about magical.
Sciencefare: Traditional vs. Modernist (sodium citrate) Mac & Cheese.
posted by Kabanos at 10:12 AM on May 20, 2015
Sciencefare: Traditional vs. Modernist (sodium citrate) Mac & Cheese.
posted by Kabanos at 10:12 AM on May 20, 2015
It's so good to see love for Ro-Tel. My Texan aunt and I (a quasi-Texan) relocated to NYC at around the same time in 1992 and she used to bring cans of Ro-Tel in her suitcase whenever she returned from a trip home.
posted by Mavri at 10:17 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Mavri at 10:17 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Garbage Box, served with Crappy Salad" (served to a mangy dog behind a Glaswegian skip). Serve.
Wait, what? Should I be insulted by that, or what? I'm not going to tell you that Scottish cuisine is uniformly great, but this is from a country that thinks velveeta is an acceptable substitute for ANYTHING you would willingly ingest?
There's a Coloradoan that runs a Burrito joint here in Edinburgh called Los Cardos that does Haggis Tacos. It's pretty bloody good. Not as good as the Tex Mex I tried in Austin a few years back, but I kinda get the feeling that that's to be expected?
That was just my feeble attempt to be witty. I spent two weeks in Edinburgh a few years back, and the only bad meal I had was at a falafel shop about three blocks south of the Royal Mile (they, oddly enough, prepared it somewhat like a burrito).
posted by rankfreudlite at 10:23 AM on May 20, 2015
Wait, what? Should I be insulted by that, or what? I'm not going to tell you that Scottish cuisine is uniformly great, but this is from a country that thinks velveeta is an acceptable substitute for ANYTHING you would willingly ingest?
There's a Coloradoan that runs a Burrito joint here in Edinburgh called Los Cardos that does Haggis Tacos. It's pretty bloody good. Not as good as the Tex Mex I tried in Austin a few years back, but I kinda get the feeling that that's to be expected?
That was just my feeble attempt to be witty. I spent two weeks in Edinburgh a few years back, and the only bad meal I had was at a falafel shop about three blocks south of the Royal Mile (they, oddly enough, prepared it somewhat like a burrito).
posted by rankfreudlite at 10:23 AM on May 20, 2015
1 loaf Cuban bread (soft french bread would also work)
Note: Cuban bread is made with lard.
posted by Daily Alice at 11:44 AM on May 20, 2015
Note: Cuban bread is made with lard.
posted by Daily Alice at 11:44 AM on May 20, 2015
thank you, fiercecupcake. I've had a tangerine margarita, which I highly recommend, will try the grapefruit juice soon.
posted by theora55 at 11:58 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by theora55 at 11:58 AM on May 20, 2015
In Colorado middle class foodier white people "queso" often refers to melted cheese tastefully executed (go easy on the white American or velveeta, rely more on a smooth bechamel, shredded cheese melted in deftly) with abundant green chile. Qdoba as a chain helped cement a higher expectation of quality. It will congeal but stays warm and fluid for a long time and doesn"t harden up. Green chile flavor permeates.
Poor to lower class white people (or at least my peers growing up) often disdain the word "queso" by itself and often refer to "chili con queso" or "chili con Carne" replete with the Texas "chili" spelling.
Mexican foodies appealling to a US audience often do use the word "queso" here to refer to crumbly Mexican cheeses like "queso fresco" rather than simply any cheese. Monterrey jack is not considered a queso nor is Muenster enchilada. Shits gotta crumble.
posted by aydeejones at 12:02 PM on May 20, 2015
Poor to lower class white people (or at least my peers growing up) often disdain the word "queso" by itself and often refer to "chili con queso" or "chili con Carne" replete with the Texas "chili" spelling.
Mexican foodies appealling to a US audience often do use the word "queso" here to refer to crumbly Mexican cheeses like "queso fresco" rather than simply any cheese. Monterrey jack is not considered a queso nor is Muenster enchilada. Shits gotta crumble.
posted by aydeejones at 12:02 PM on May 20, 2015
My in laws were from South Dakota where Ro-Tel is considered the ceiling for heat. Their version of queso is not called that at all, it's just a cheese dip or whatever with zero reference to Mexico and it's made with nothing but velveeta and Ro-Tel and often without the milk someone mentioned up thread, so it basically turns into a solid block of congealed paste. Still not bad TBH If your chips can hold up to it. Queso and crock pots go hand in hand. But I gotta tell ya, replace that velveeta with white American for a more palatable color and uses Boar's Head to hipster it up, and finely dice so many roasted chile peppers from federal that the moisture in the peppers even after draining them affects the consistency of the queso. You want it to coat the back of a spoon like white gravy plus a notch or too. People will worship effortful queso. Bechamel. White American. Shredded cheddar and or Colby, why not some Habanero or pepper jack while you're at it.
posted by aydeejones at 12:11 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by aydeejones at 12:11 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Also white American cheese is light years better in taste than velveeta and white velveeta and less salty, or it tastes that way, plus your unsalted bechamel drops the sodium, allowing you use salty limey thin chips and if your queso isn't too thick you can use salty limey insanely thin chips. This is all inspired from Qdoba, their queso is excellent with their excellent chips which are similar to those "mini thin chips" but so much better. Chipotle chips ain't shit
posted by aydeejones at 12:16 PM on May 20, 2015
posted by aydeejones at 12:16 PM on May 20, 2015
It's amazing how much MeFites love food! I bet you could title a post "Food!" and you would get a bazillian MeFites foaming at the mouth, adding countless comments, and dancing naked atop a recently-looted Trader Joe's. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Food is one of the basic requirements of life. I say unto thee, MeFites, go forth, just eat it, eat it. If it gets cold, reheat it. Grab a banana. Grab a whole bunch. It doesn't matter what you have for lunch. Just eat it!
posted by rankfreudlite at 12:43 PM on May 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by rankfreudlite at 12:43 PM on May 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
It's not a coincidence that the canonical example of something that a MeFite overthinks is a plate of beans.
I like mine refried.
posted by grouse at 1:24 PM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
I like mine refried.
posted by grouse at 1:24 PM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
mochapickle: "Or it's short for OKAY SO I'm Just Gonna Take This Whole Bowl And All These Here Chips And Nom Happily For Ten Minutes."
Ummm, nope. Not when I jab forks through your hands into the table, so I can take all the yummies.
(Yeah, anyone surprised I never make any meetups?)
posted by Samizdata at 1:36 PM on May 20, 2015
Ummm, nope. Not when I jab forks through your hands into the table, so I can take all the yummies.
(Yeah, anyone surprised I never make any meetups?)
posted by Samizdata at 1:36 PM on May 20, 2015
It's not a coincidence that the canonical example of something that a MeFite overthinks is a plate of beans.
I like mine refried.
Food is what bought me here. I google-searched "General Tso's Chicken" (by the way, I tend to be enamored with large-ish jars of pre-cooked navy beans).
posted by rankfreudlite at 2:25 PM on May 20, 2015
I like mine refried.
Food is what bought me here. I google-searched "General Tso's Chicken" (by the way, I tend to be enamored with large-ish jars of pre-cooked navy beans).
posted by rankfreudlite at 2:25 PM on May 20, 2015
> Anyway, the thing that blew my mind was how many of these NYC Mexican restaurants had large banners proclaiming they were "Proudly Serving Authentic SF Mission-style Burritos!" What the actual fuck?! That's a pretty specific thing, and at the time I wasn't aware that Mission-style burritos had any sort of presence outside the greater Bay Area. I wasn't so desperate for Mexican food that I wanted to try one, but the mere fact that they existed in NYC fascinated me.
Oh god is that place still there? (Even worse, are there more of them?) It used to torment me in the early 90s when I'd visit friends on the Lower East Side and they'd want to go there. It is all LIES, I tell you! They put them in an aluminum plate with a piece of cardboard on top, instead of wrapping them properly in foil. They are soggy and misshapen and tasteless.
Don't fall for it. Go have pizza, or better yet, bagels, which NY does perfectly and SF fails utterly at.
posted by gingerbeer at 5:04 PM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh god is that place still there? (Even worse, are there more of them?) It used to torment me in the early 90s when I'd visit friends on the Lower East Side and they'd want to go there. It is all LIES, I tell you! They put them in an aluminum plate with a piece of cardboard on top, instead of wrapping them properly in foil. They are soggy and misshapen and tasteless.
Don't fall for it. Go have pizza, or better yet, bagels, which NY does perfectly and SF fails utterly at.
posted by gingerbeer at 5:04 PM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
+1 for sodium citrate makes for killer mac and cheese (search for Serious Eats cheeseburger mac and cheese, and use sodium citrate instead of Kenji's evaporated milk trick), don't use it for cheese fondue, that's easy enough to make and the wine and lemon are necessary for the taste, the small amount of corn starch you add won't really change the taste.
Ok... just finished a nice plate of home made carnitas tacos, and now I want mac and cheese... and some tex mex...what's wrong with me!?!?!?!
posted by coust at 5:45 PM on May 20, 2015
Ok... just finished a nice plate of home made carnitas tacos, and now I want mac and cheese... and some tex mex...what's wrong with me!?!?!?!
posted by coust at 5:45 PM on May 20, 2015
oh but i did overhear someone on the 3 train the other day earnestly talking about vegan cuban sandwiches and i became so enraged that i missed my stop
The cool thing about veganism is that it frees you from the shackles of caring at all about "authenticity" or whatever and so you just pull a full culinary Debussy and do whatever suits you and damn the rules and haters. My cooking got 10x more interesting after I turned vegan mostly because it's hard to describe but giving up stuff that was once such a big part of your cooking has a way of making you really resourceful in the kitchen and now I can do like alchemy with cashews etc etc
I hear good things about Just Mayo but it is not available in Canada, I don't think.
It's pretty great and I dig what Hampton Creek is doing. Josh Tetrick was on Mad Money talking about it. Basically doing everything possible to get it on the shelf next to regular ol' mayo (vs. in the strange vegan specialty section where omnivores dare not tread) at an affordable price in all of your regular Wal-Marts, Targets, et al.
posted by Gymnopedist at 7:28 PM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
The cool thing about veganism is that it frees you from the shackles of caring at all about "authenticity" or whatever and so you just pull a full culinary Debussy and do whatever suits you and damn the rules and haters. My cooking got 10x more interesting after I turned vegan mostly because it's hard to describe but giving up stuff that was once such a big part of your cooking has a way of making you really resourceful in the kitchen and now I can do like alchemy with cashews etc etc
I hear good things about Just Mayo but it is not available in Canada, I don't think.
It's pretty great and I dig what Hampton Creek is doing. Josh Tetrick was on Mad Money talking about it. Basically doing everything possible to get it on the shelf next to regular ol' mayo (vs. in the strange vegan specialty section where omnivores dare not tread) at an affordable price in all of your regular Wal-Marts, Targets, et al.
posted by Gymnopedist at 7:28 PM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wow, this review of the "Javelina" restaurant in the New York Times is probably the best restaurant review I've ever read! Often restaurant reviews tax my poor brain by being thoughtful or insightful; not this one, thank God. Most of all, I am shocked - shocked - that the author chose to use sarcasm as a single stark humorous device throughout the piece. Sarcasm! - in a restaurant review? And in the New York Times, of all places? Such a thing is veritably unheard of!
posted by koeselitz at 2:47 AM on May 22, 2015
posted by koeselitz at 2:47 AM on May 22, 2015
I like mine refried.
Actually fried multiple times or just mistranslated?
posted by effbot at 2:40 PM on May 22, 2015
Actually fried multiple times or just mistranslated?
posted by effbot at 2:40 PM on May 22, 2015
Actually fried multiple times or just mistranslated?
Refried beans.
posted by grouse at 2:47 PM on May 22, 2015
Refried beans.
posted by grouse at 2:47 PM on May 22, 2015
Wow, I never knew that was considered a mistranslation; my [Latina, old-school] grandma who makes TERRIFIC menudo also makes terrific refried beans, and she cooks them in a pot on the stove like normal beans and then mashes them and cooks them again with oil in a skillet. I always figured that was the re-frying part? Or are you saying it's not "re-" frying them because they weren't fried the first time, but cooked in a pot with liquid?
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:58 PM on May 22, 2015
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:58 PM on May 22, 2015
I love snarky reviews of things and am thankful for this post.
In personal culinary news, we made pulled pork over the weekend and it was delicious but nowhere near worth the effort and I will now forever be suspicious of anybody who says they like making pulled pork.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:18 PM on May 24, 2015
In personal culinary news, we made pulled pork over the weekend and it was delicious but nowhere near worth the effort and I will now forever be suspicious of anybody who says they like making pulled pork.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:18 PM on May 24, 2015
How did you make it? Because when I make it, it's like:
1. Put pork shoulder in slow cooker
2. Go away from it for 12 hours
3. Shred pork with forks
4. That's literally it
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:33 PM on May 24, 2015
1. Put pork shoulder in slow cooker
2. Go away from it for 12 hours
3. Shred pork with forks
4. That's literally it
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:33 PM on May 24, 2015
Because when I make it, it's like:
1. Put pork shoulder in slow cooker
2. Go away from it for 12 hours
3. Shred pork with forks
4. That's literally it
I use a smoker, so step two is more like "wake up intermittently all night to check that the temperature is still correct," but it's about the same amount of work total. The last time I made pork butt I smoked it for about three hours, and then put it in the oven for the rest of the time, which made for a much more restful night, and almost as good pulled pork as keeping it in the smoker the whole time.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:40 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
1. Put pork shoulder in slow cooker
2. Go away from it for 12 hours
3. Shred pork with forks
4. That's literally it
I use a smoker, so step two is more like "wake up intermittently all night to check that the temperature is still correct," but it's about the same amount of work total. The last time I made pork butt I smoked it for about three hours, and then put it in the oven for the rest of the time, which made for a much more restful night, and almost as good pulled pork as keeping it in the smoker the whole time.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:40 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah I don't have a slow cooker so it takes longer but like, it 's like how I make duck, it requires looking at every so often so it basically just hangs out at a Low temperature for hours and hours. All the work is at the start and end and even then it's mostly just waiting
posted by The Whelk at 7:04 PM on May 24, 2015
posted by The Whelk at 7:04 PM on May 24, 2015
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Also: Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! What to drink? No Coke. Pepsi.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:06 AM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]