Will return content of the form 'Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.'

May 28, 2015 3:49 PM

FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.

Github | Mashape

posted by DarlingBri (22 comments total)

This is the API the Internet both needs and deserves.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:02 PM on May 28, 2015 [10 favorites]

On the other hand, the example on mashape is "'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa?", which is rather gross and reasonably sexist. So while I am still basking in the wave of amusement, I'm concerned that this is another example of brogramming.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:04 PM on May 28, 2015 [4 favorites]

'Well, Fuck me pink. - :from'.

*cringe*

There's something to this but I'd have to agree that the execution needs... refining. On the other hand I can really get behind "Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface."
posted by erratic meatsack at 4:09 PM on May 28, 2015

I don't think there can be any more to this joke than an API that replies HTTP/1.1 503 Service Unavailable to all requests.
posted by ardgedee at 4:10 PM on May 28, 2015 [14 favorites]

Needs Terms of Use: Fuck Off

and

Privacy Policy: Fuck You
posted by Muddler at 5:05 PM on May 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

On the other hand, the example on mashape is "'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa?", which is rather gross and reasonably sexist.

It's a reference to Heathers, FWIW.
posted by Edgewise at 5:19 PM on May 28, 2015 [6 favorites]

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?"
- Heather Chandler, Heathers 1988

posted by romakimmy at 5:24 PM on May 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

Guess who forgot to preview? That said, the puny part of my brain takes a bit of issue with the RESTful implementation: fucking off should never be restful IMO.
posted by romakimmy at 5:34 PM on May 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

Does it support sharding?
posted by cosmic.osmo at 5:53 PM on May 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

how do i make my twitter automatically respond with this anytime someone listed on the GG Autoblocker talks at me
posted by NoraReed at 6:22 PM on May 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

You all need to implement some SOAP for your face interface or something.
posted by bleep at 6:33 PM on May 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

Something tells me the author is a Bugler.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:34 PM on May 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

i don't know what that means but i really want to use this with the Fuck Off Of The Day

if someone can figure out how to make it i will totally install it as a Twitter app
posted by NoraReed at 6:36 PM on May 28, 2015

Yeah, but does it scale?
posted by blue_beetle at 6:40 PM on May 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's missing my favourite: "Your concerns have been duly noted. May I suggest that 'off' is the direction in which you might wish to fuck?"
posted by um at 6:43 PM on May 28, 2015 [12 favorites]

Hoped this might be a reboot of a classic. Fox On A Stick And Slither?
posted by blackfly at 6:47 PM on May 28, 2015

I really miss the Law And Order Plot Generator.
posted by intermod at 8:40 PM on May 28, 2015

/awesome/:from Will return content of the form 'This is Fucking Awesome. - :from', , e.g. /awesome/Macklemore will return 'This is Fucking Awesome. - Macklemore'


BURN
posted by louche mustachio at 10:30 PM on May 28, 2015

My favorite part is that the server doesn't emit a 404 if you navigate to an invalid URL -- it will emit a HTTP 622 response code instead, telling you to fuck off in its own special way.
posted by schmod at 6:53 AM on May 29, 2015

There would have to be different code for the Brits "I'm terribly sorry old chap, but the web page you were seeking doesn't seem to be available: so sorry to inconvenience you (fucking wanker)."
posted by rankfreudlite at 7:00 AM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

Wouldn't that fall under the i18n scope?
posted by romakimmy at 9:58 AM on May 29, 2015

Needs more DICSS integration.
posted by caphector at 1:21 PM on May 29, 2015