It's Showtime!
June 4, 2015 2:51 AM Subscribe
It's ice to see this on the front page.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:28 AM on June 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:28 AM on June 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
He's right about the glory of realising that Tony from Total Recall is the same actor as Hank from Breaking Bad (Dean Norris). When I realised that this guy was also the commandant of the training camp from Starship Troopers it felt like two whole sections of my brain had suddenly connected.
posted by leibniz at 3:52 AM on June 4, 2015
posted by leibniz at 3:52 AM on June 4, 2015
Does the article mention the three-breasted woman?
Yes:
Also, there’s a woman in it who has three breasts. This woman is in no way central to the plot. Still, no matter how succinct or how involved any retelling of Total Recall is, the triple-breasted woman gets mentioned. That’s why I mention it here. On the off chance you’ve never seen it, I don’t want you to fall into a conversation about the movie and not have that information. It will be truly embarrassing for you.
posted by chavenet at 4:01 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yes:
Also, there’s a woman in it who has three breasts. This woman is in no way central to the plot. Still, no matter how succinct or how involved any retelling of Total Recall is, the triple-breasted woman gets mentioned. That’s why I mention it here. On the off chance you’ve never seen it, I don’t want you to fall into a conversation about the movie and not have that information. It will be truly embarrassing for you.
posted by chavenet at 4:01 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
It would be interesting to see these cross corralated with the writers that ensured Arnold could reach these heights of perfection.
Wouldn't it be awesome if they were all written by the Holy Man From Austria?
posted by jefflowrey at 4:23 AM on June 4, 2015
Wouldn't it be awesome if they were all written by the Holy Man From Austria?
posted by jefflowrey at 4:23 AM on June 4, 2015
This is good. My favorite Arnold moment isn't a line, but when he punches that camel in Conan might be the happiest thing that has ever happened to me.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:28 AM on June 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Literaryhero at 4:28 AM on June 4, 2015 [5 favorites]
Remember when I told you I'd favorite you last? I lied.
posted by Renoroc at 4:39 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Renoroc at 4:39 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
It's amusing that more than half of those quips are told to dead people so no one but the audience actually hears them.
posted by octothorpe at 4:54 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 4:54 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
The first nice day of every spring I always announce to whoever I'm with "It's a beautiful day, and we're out killing drug dealers." Rarely do people understand, but I don't care. I've always loved that line.
posted by Aznable at 5:15 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Aznable at 5:15 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
Nonononononoooooo. The most perfect line comes directly AFTER that, when Rae Dawn Chong asks what he did with Sully, and Arnold says, "I let him go." You can't forget that part. EVER.
posted by tracicle at 5:27 AM on June 4, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by tracicle at 5:27 AM on June 4, 2015 [10 favorites]
The Austrian Oak, as UK film mag 'Total Film' is fond of calling him.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 6:22 AM on June 4, 2015
posted by GallonOfAlan at 6:22 AM on June 4, 2015
I love Arnold and everything he's ever been in. I wish they would make an actual movie of the version of Hamlet we see in the Last Action Hero.
posted by Sangermaine at 6:32 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sangermaine at 6:32 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Would a Running Man/Batman & Robin mashup work? He could fight himself with a series of icy puns.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:50 AM on June 4, 2015
posted by kirkaracha at 6:50 AM on June 4, 2015
Me and a friend of mine make it a sport to come up with lines that plausibly sound like these Ahnold's.
He had to split.
He got a little bit hot under the collar.
It was just a hug.
We were on a break.
He went through the roof.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:19 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
He had to split.
He got a little bit hot under the collar.
It was just a hug.
We were on a break.
He went through the roof.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:19 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
"I'm going to give the audience what I think they want ..."
posted by k5.user at 7:55 AM on June 4, 2015
posted by k5.user at 7:55 AM on June 4, 2015
I love old Arnie.
posted by rankfreudlite at 8:10 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by rankfreudlite at 8:10 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was saddened to see how quickly one of my favorites was shuffled past. Seriously, when you throw a machete with enough force to a) impale a man, and b) pin that man to the door he just burst through with the force you threw said machete, what else could you possibly say?
Stick around. Such perfect delivery, as well.
granted, this is quips only, but the greatest Arnold line ever is the answer to the age old question, What is best in life?
posted by Ghidorah at 8:35 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Stick around. Such perfect delivery, as well.
granted, this is quips only, but the greatest Arnold line ever is the answer to the age old question, What is best in life?
posted by Ghidorah at 8:35 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
To crush your enemies
See them fallen before you
And hear the lamentations of the quipped.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:39 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
See them fallen before you
And hear the lamentations of the quipped.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:39 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
This guy knows what he's talking about. I was nodding along, but getting increasingly worried he wasn't going to mention my favorite line of all time from an Arnold movie. But then BAM! There it was!
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:42 AM on June 4, 2015
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:42 AM on June 4, 2015
“See you at the party, Richter!” is my all-time favorite, the one that made me laugh out loud with surprise and delight
posted by Auden at 10:31 AM on June 4, 2015
posted by Auden at 10:31 AM on June 4, 2015
Shea Serrano is probably the most entertaining writer contributing to Grantland right now. His stuff does the requisite pop culture commentary, but the bits about his wife and kid really move his pieces into the realm of something else.
Simmons didn't heed the advice and got himself fired, but Serrano does something very similar, only younger and with more flavor.
posted by NoRelationToLea at 1:17 PM on June 4, 2015
Simmons didn't heed the advice and got himself fired, but Serrano does something very similar, only younger and with more flavor.
posted by NoRelationToLea at 1:17 PM on June 4, 2015
I used "See you at the party, Richter!" as a general-purpose catchphrase for years. I'm glad to see that it made the list.
posted by peeedro at 2:28 PM on June 4, 2015
posted by peeedro at 2:28 PM on June 4, 2015
The most perfect line comes directly AFTER that, when Rae Dawn Chong asks what he did with Sully, and Arnold says, "I let him go." You can't forget that part. EVER.
QFT^^^
posted by Renoroc at 7:01 PM on June 4, 2015
QFT^^^
posted by Renoroc at 7:01 PM on June 4, 2015
Holy shit, that ending to Eraser is incredible. I'm certain I saw that movie in the theatre and I do remember that he disposes of the bad guys by having Eldon from Murphy Brown trap them in a limo and leaving them on the train tracks. But I can't believe I had no memory of that specific ending. "They caught a train.", guitar riff, and credits. Perfect.
posted by mhum at 7:12 PM on June 4, 2015
posted by mhum at 7:12 PM on June 4, 2015
"He'll live" is my personal favorite.
Also: "I see everything."
posted by ostranenie at 7:14 PM on June 4, 2015
Also: "I see everything."
posted by ostranenie at 7:14 PM on June 4, 2015
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This is great! Thanks for posting. I have underestimated the comedy genius of Arnold Schwarzenegger for so long. But no more, sir. No more.
posted by billiebee at 3:20 AM on June 4, 2015