Walter Molino's Worst Case Scenerios

June 10, 2015 12:20 AM

Illustator Walter Molino had an unusually spot-on take of the situations that would provoke maximum anxiety in his viewers.... provided his viewers were terrified of lions. Many parents dread the moment their toddler has to cling to the bumper of a runaway car, or , God forbid, has to fend off an angry lion, or a Nessie,. But who hasn't had a moment of doubt regarding our tightrope walking partner?
posted by biddeford (34 comments total)

These are hilariously graphic. They remind me of Mars Attacks or Dinosaurs Attack trading cards.
posted by painquale at 12:34 AM on June 10, 2015

These are great! I love the notion of trying to placate a pissed-off Scottish plesiosaurus with an apple. And does the tightrope cyclist look like he has arranged for his assistant to take the fall all along? What about those chickens; did any of them make it out of the burning coup alive?
posted by rongorongo at 1:28 AM on June 10, 2015

Such a wonderful mix of terror and beauty.
I wish my nightmares were this beautiful.
Sadly this is a lost art form. I would love to be able
to draw and paint like this.
posted by quazichimp at 1:35 AM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

These are the writing prompts I've been waiting for.
posted by bstreep at 1:39 AM on June 10, 2015 [6 favorites]

He also seems to have predicted the Segway back in the 1960s.
posted by rongorongo at 1:41 AM on June 10, 2015 [3 favorites]

Most of these are over the top scary- but the ine with the eagle at the picnic? It looks like its target is actually the wine. "That Chianti will be MINE!"
posted by happyroach at 1:43 AM on June 10, 2015

They remind me of all the terrifying stories that would run in the Reader's Digest. Attacked by bees. Legs crushed by tractor, forced to crawl through fire-ant hills. That kind of thing.
posted by Bugbread at 1:46 AM on June 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

More Molino: Gina Lollobrigida ventures where even clowns would not.
Flying saucers check out trucker.
The smart Italian women always knows what to wear when she goes shooting paintings.
Don't try to tempt me with cat treats, sacerdote!
Dogs leaving earth behind.
posted by rongorongo at 1:56 AM on June 10, 2015 [3 favorites]

(These picture are awesome, but I'm here to be the meany who turns up to point out that if you're not a Pinterest member you end up trying to peer through a slit in the middle of the screen, when the bar at the bottom appears. It has two buttons - Log In, which takes you to a log in page, and Continue, which simply puts a semi-opaque overlay on the page with the same log in box. Right-clicking on the picture and opening it in a new tab works, though. )
posted by Grangousier at 2:10 AM on June 10, 2015 [5 favorites]

What about those chickens; did any of them make it out of the burning coup alive?

Oh, is that what it is? For some reason I was reading it as the deck of a burning ship. With very, very large chicks, of course.
posted by Grangousier at 2:13 AM on June 10, 2015

> The smart Italian women always knows what to wear when she goes shooting paintings.

Looks like that one is a straightforward documentary illustration of the French artist Niki de Saint-Phalle at work.
posted by misteraitch at 2:16 AM on June 10, 2015 [3 favorites]

I think the chicks painting is a chicken hatchery fire
posted by quazichimp at 2:53 AM on June 10, 2015

I almost feel that some of these are precursors to Benjamin Dewey's 'Tragedy series' tumblr/webcomic

"Tragedy 548: Picnic ruined by Irate Eagle"
"Tragedy 1057: Mermen steal your baby while yachting"
"Tragedy 731: Hot chicks in dire peril"
posted by LeRoienJaune at 3:13 AM on June 10, 2015

The one with the Chris Craft hitting the water-skier is pretty much why I was always afraid to get towed behind the boat on skis or an inner tube or whatever.
posted by wenestvedt at 3:17 AM on June 10, 2015

Who invites a lamb to a picnic?!
posted by unknowncommand at 5:24 AM on June 10, 2015

This picture almost seems like an early prototype of the 70's ad campaign for Schlitz Malt Liquor, AKA "The Bull."
posted by chambers at 5:25 AM on June 10, 2015

Oh my god, these are just so perfect. Surely these are available in book form, but for some reason (perhaps a lion breaking into an editorial meeting, or the Amazon warehouse being set upon by crazed vultures?), I'm not finding any collections available online.
posted by mittens at 5:56 AM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

These need to be the basis of a new genre of posters, alongside "motivational" and "demotivational" that needs a catchy term that encapsulates "Damn, those people are screwed. I guess things for me could be worse - at least that isn't happening to me."

Since German seems to have the reputation of being the go-to language for what I guess would be called something like "situational nouns," do they have a word that would encapsulate this proposed genre? If not, is there a word in any language that does?
posted by chambers at 7:03 AM on June 10, 2015 [3 favorites]

A large collection of further Molinos here - featuring perils of every sort including the rarer kind:
- skewered by the sword fish you just caught
- dive bombed by bi-plane while sunbathing on roof
- pursued by group of circus elephants through train
- left dangling by a parachute from a tree branch during a gun fight
- left dangling by a parachute from a tree whilst being eyed by hungry cannibals
- thrown head first into a pizza oven
- tied to the tracks in the face of an oncoming train (but sexily tied)
- hit by a tomato before you could throw yours
- thrown out of plane without parachute but with heals
- charged by bull while painting its picture (Cubist edition)
- jumping from a moving car to a moving train and failing to make it
- your vessel hit by an aircraft carrier
- church combusts during mass
- art gallery combusts during exhibition
- crocodile attacks your bicycle
- pursued by a mob of police women
and not forgetting:
- left dangling by foot while diving to try to save falling church bell
posted by rongorongo at 7:44 AM on June 10, 2015 [6 favorites]

and the most terrifying of all: "Riconosce la figlia sul grande schermo / He recognizes his daughter on the big screen".

Thank you for this post, biddeford; these are great!
posted by taz at 8:00 AM on June 10, 2015

Oh, and "art gallery combusts during exhibition" made me think of "The Goldfinch." One could probably choose any one of his images and write a 700-page novel based on the action there as a starting point. Well, not me, but some other One.
posted by taz at 8:09 AM on June 10, 2015

If you like this, you'll love the Old French Crime twitter feed. It's earlier material in the same tradition.

It's less lurid than the others, but I use this picture of bicycle machine gunners as a teaching exercise in class.
posted by Dreadnought at 8:28 AM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

Came for the Walter Molino; stayed for the Niki de Saint Phalle. Amazing on both counts, thanks indeed biddeford. The drawing (Niki de Saint Phalle) is like the mythical version of the documentary. Kind of like in Bad Education but not so sad.

And thanks Grangousier for timely Pinterest tip.
posted by glasseyes at 8:29 AM on June 10, 2015

I rather liked Furore antibritannico al Cairo.
And 4 fratelli sposano 4 sorelle. (Having fun guessing the titles with my non-existent Italian.)
They're very dynamic, these drawings. Good for him. He deserved his commercial success
posted by glasseyes at 8:50 AM on June 10, 2015

tied to the tracks in the face of an oncoming train (but sexily tied)

Ah, rongorongo, it appears from google translate* she just sexily fell accidentally asleep: ([Beauty] sleeping on the rails.

*resorted to at last
posted by glasseyes at 8:56 AM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

In some alternate universe, 'Earthquake in Flight' is the concept art for a surprisingly dark, retconned sequel of a mostly forgotten and unsuccessful Disney film:

Operation Dumbo Drop 2 - "Don't forget to pack your trunk this summer"
posted by chambers at 9:03 AM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

Sorry to spam but that is just really, really, really good figure drawing. He paid his dues in the life drawing room. No clumsy weird foreshortening, too-small hands or dislocated waists. Or meagre weird thighs. People can hardly draw like this nowadays unless they're copying a photograph, and even then they get it wrong because, not having done the practice, they don't understand how bodies take up space.
posted by glasseyes at 9:06 AM on June 10, 2015 [4 favorites]

A large collection of further Molinos here - featuring perils of every sort including the rarer kind:

It also includes this one: Getting married.
posted by Kabanos at 10:34 AM on June 10, 2015

This sounds like list of things that make Hulk mad...
posted by jcruelty at 1:09 PM on June 10, 2015

Wow. I love this stuff. Has his work ever been collected into a book?
posted by Inkslinger at 1:51 PM on June 10, 2015

What about those chickens; did any of them make it out of the burning coup alive?

That is when Augusto Pinochick took power and ruled the roost.

These are great, both technically as Glasseyes notes, and conceptually -- they are fever dream illustrations, full of compelling terribleness.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:09 PM on June 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

The one with the Chris Craft hitting the water-skier
This one? That's a snorkeler losing his head.
posted by unliteral at 5:40 PM on June 10, 2015

That's a snorkeler losing his head.

NOT BETTER
posted by mittens at 5:50 PM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

Maybe that lion isn't attacking that baby. Maybe that lion is saving that baby.
posted by queensissy at 8:14 PM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]