Maybe just because of hype, but cupcakes kind of disappointing.

June 12, 2015 6:55 AM

Manhattan 11031 A.D (SL New Yorker humor)
posted by roomthreeseventeen (26 comments total)

[...] and L.E.D. strip says, “Swipe again.” I swipe again. Strip says, “Swipe again.” I swipe again. Strip says, “Just used.” Furious.

A pain that truly transcends time.
posted by selenized at 7:14 AM on June 12, 2015 [9 favorites]

Last line is awesome!
posted by ian1977 at 7:15 AM on June 12, 2015

No Cronuts?
posted by antiquated at 7:17 AM on June 12, 2015

Oh, this is so good.
posted by mochapickle at 7:17 AM on June 12, 2015

Provincial New Yorkish humor. But not provincial, because New York is the Ur-city for those of us who spend most of our lives in flyover country. It's remarkable how many local references have become second nature to hicks like me. Of course, I do get a constant stream of NYC magazines in my mailbox. I'm a little hazy about Bleecker Street, though, but maybe that's because I've spent too much time on the Upper West Side.
posted by kozad at 7:18 AM on June 12, 2015

When I die please bury me deep
Down at the end of Bleecker street
So I can hear ol' number nine
As she goes rollin' by
posted by Melismata at 7:30 AM on June 12, 2015

"I'm a little hazy about Bleecker Street, though"

That's where Sherlock lives, though I don't remember him having a thing for French bulldogs.
posted by komara at 7:31 AM on June 12, 2015

Metafilter: just skeletons.
posted by Naberius at 7:31 AM on June 12, 2015 [6 favorites]

Maybe I'm just sleep-deprived, but skeletons are hilarious.

NB: I also had a laughing fit this morning over the phrase "Chicken McDouble," so YMMV.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:31 AM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

Lots of "just skeletons" jokes. I'm surprised they didn't visit the offices of that place that makes lifelike humanoid robot kids, they seem to be doing pretty well and being not skeletal for being the top floor of a New York place whose lower floors long ago succumbed to the Atlantic ocean.
posted by JHarris at 7:33 AM on June 12, 2015

Funny.
Not really sure it's the New Yorker.
posted by From Bklyn at 7:49 AM on June 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

Amazing. Laughing, not quite crying, but close.
posted by GuyZero at 7:53 AM on June 12, 2015

University of Michigan - the Harvard of places not underwater.
posted by mr vino at 7:56 AM on June 12, 2015 [6 favorites]

I lost it at "6 Train still running pretty regularly," because let's hear it for the dependable things, shall we?
posted by Navelgazer at 8:04 AM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

Perhaps my favorite part is all the bitching about people bringing their bikes on the train, by people who have brought a submarine on the train. And then the reveal that the submarine is pedal-powered. i.e., they themselves have brought a bike on the train.
posted by Naberius at 8:15 AM on June 12, 2015 [14 favorites]

Am, like, fine.

Oh god, 8000 more years of "like"?
posted by JaredSeth at 8:25 AM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

Kind of an extended riff on The Motel Of the Mysteries
posted by The Whelk at 8:39 AM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

The Whelk, I was thinking of "Body Ritual among the Nacirema."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:40 AM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

Not really sure it's the New Yorker.

Totally New Yorker! Breathless passages of "Am" doing things in Midtown spots typical of old Shouts and Murmurs section.
Learned about that on nerual link.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:42 AM on June 12, 2015

Another Bleeker St. Song:

"Fog rolling in on the East River bank
Like a shroud it covers Bleeker St.
Hides the alleys where men sleep
Hides the shepherd from his sheep...."

---Simon and Garfunkle
posted by mermayd at 8:59 AM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm eating on Bleecker Street today and I expect to have a traditional ancient Nyc meal of pizza bagels, celery cheesecake, and egg cream coffee.
posted by The Whelk at 9:03 AM on June 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

That's how I'm going to avoid getting frustrated on my commute Monday when the supposedly-express D train inexplicably freezes for 30 seconds between every single station:

Oh, right. Just skeletons.
posted by Mooseli at 9:07 AM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

Oh god, 8000 more years of "like"?

It's a rough translation of the New Reformed Singlish they speak in the future.
posted by Sangermaine at 9:07 AM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

No Cronuts?

Cronuts are *SO* 11029 AD! Get with the times, man!
posted by briank at 10:02 AM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

Todd points out that it is a small submarine and there is no need to shout.

*snort*
posted by The Bellman at 10:40 AM on June 12, 2015

Cronuts are *SO* 11029 AD! Get with the times, man!

More like Cro-Magnuts, amirite?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:03 AM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]