Pau ka wiliwili nahu ka mano

July 1, 2015 5:17 AM

"No shark repellent has ever been found to be absolutely reliable. Scientists have tried sound, bubbles, dyes, chlorine, fish poisons and copper acetate, none of which conclusively discourages a famished shark. One device that might someday be developed into an effective repellent is a mixture of lye crystals and aluminum shreds, which could give an attacking shark a fatal bellyache."

--Shark! by Peter Benchley, the 1967 article in Holiday magazine that was developed into the novel Jaws.
posted by almostmanda (16 comments total)

Clearly he's never heard of Shark Repellent Bat-Spray.
posted by ursus_comiter at 5:40 AM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]

No shark repellent has ever been found to be absolutely reliable.

Except one.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:41 AM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]

Clicked on this for the Batman jokes, was not disappointed.
posted by chavenet at 5:44 AM on July 1, 2015 [6 favorites]

What about cow repellent?
posted by Drinky Die at 6:19 AM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

Never go swimming without a law degree.
posted by sammyo at 6:25 AM on July 1, 2015

Here's the article summed up in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.
posted by Sunburnt at 7:25 AM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

Wow, nearly fifty years old... sad that this and film were a big influence on the wholesale slaughter of sharks since.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:39 AM on July 1, 2015

Still won't go in the water. Nope. Not happening.
posted by Beholder at 8:00 AM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

I never read this before… it's a great piece!

One thing that jumps out at me is the style: was writing like this very common then? It reminds me of nothing so much as Sebastian Junger or William Langewiesche.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:37 AM on July 1, 2015

Who needs shark repellent? To steal from an old joke about bears, just make sure you are around someone who swims slower than you.
posted by TedW at 8:48 AM on July 1, 2015

I agree that it is compelling writing (I would add John McPhee to the list of authors with a similar voice), this passage:

I’ve spent hours waiting for a shark to take a succulent bait, only to have one of the ninnies rise to the sur­face and nosh on a beer can I’d just thrown overboard.

really shows how differently we looked at the environment back then. And the overall tone is one that inactive MeFite David Shiffman would find appalling. (He has written a number of articles critical of Shark Week and its portrayal of sharks, and I'm sure is not fond of this piece as well.)
posted by TedW at 9:09 AM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

Who needs shark repellent? To steal from an old joke about bears, just make sure you are around someone who swims slower than you.

From the shark's perspective, you both swim zero speed.
posted by ctmf at 11:32 AM on July 1, 2015

fearfulsymmetry: Wow, nearly fifty years old... sad that this and film were a big influence on the wholesale slaughter of sharks since.

That's something he ended up feeling pretty bad about. In one of his other books (Beast, maybe?) one of the characters mentions Jaws and the negative effect it had.
posted by brundlefly at 2:01 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't know if it's accurate, but an infographic floating around says that more people are killed by deer, cows, ants, and jellyfish than sharks. Riptides and trash hazards scare me more than sharks, but I've never been a good swimmer.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 6:21 PM on July 1, 2015

That's something he ended up feeling pretty bad about. In one of his other books (Beast, maybe?) one of the characters mentions Jaws and the negative effect it had.

I remember there being a lot of stuff on the enviormental impact of over fishing in Beast... in fact I think the whole plot kicks off from it (SPOILER... Giant squid moves closer to land and shallower water. Starts eating people.)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:28 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Eventually, I’m sure, some­one will be attacked off Cape Cod or Jones Beach or Westhampton Beach on Long Island, and there will be a great hue and cry to rid the world of sharks.

At this point I'm more worried that folks in North Carolina will pick up on the idea that sea turtle nesting grounds might be part of what's attracting sharks to shore and go after those instead.
posted by mediareport at 3:25 AM on July 2, 2015