U2 is the world’s foremost creator of Oh Man, So Deep faces
August 1, 2015 1:13 AM Subscribe
Probably this is the first time Bono has ever publicly baptized a long-dead wife-beater into postmortem Irishness at Ellis Island, but honestly I wouldn’t know, because I mostly ignore his activities in his role as The Living Incarnation Of Thirst. Mostly this is just the convenient, and conveniently ridiculous, news peg I am using as an excuse to point out that he is an annoying doofus who has been peddling emptily profoundish, nauseatingly wholesome, sexless Disney World theme music to milquetoast nice bros for longer than I have been alive, and I wish he would quit it.Albert Burneko puts the boot into Bono and U2, along the way taking swipes at John Lennon and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. You might want to calibrate your outrage with his views on cats.
AND EVERYTHING ELSE
posted by koeselitz at 1:31 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 1:31 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wet Bread, Maple Serious Ways
posted by mannequito at 1:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mannequito at 1:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
The toxoplasma gondii thing is amazing and this person is, unlike the sort of person who would actually insist on being called "The Edge", amazing.
Also, I'm a total vegetarian dingus, but even I agree with him about the guinea pig man.
posted by busted_crayons at 1:37 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, I'm a total vegetarian dingus, but even I agree with him about the guinea pig man.
posted by busted_crayons at 1:37 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
U2 are hacks? well that's a daring critical position
posted by thelonius at 1:57 AM on August 1, 2015 [41 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 1:57 AM on August 1, 2015 [41 favorites]
I think I've posted this before, but U2 joke..
The "Edge" walks into a bar and says "Can I have... a beer please"
The barman says - "OK, but why the delay?"
posted by mattoxic at 2:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [39 favorites]
The "Edge" walks into a bar and says "Can I have... a beer please"
The barman says - "OK, but why the delay?"
posted by mattoxic at 2:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [39 favorites]
the sort of person who would actually insist on being called "The Edge"
I'm no fan of U2, but Mr. Edge should be allowed to go by any name he chooses.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 2:11 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm no fan of U2, but Mr. Edge should be allowed to go by any name he chooses.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 2:11 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
This writer is criticizing U2, and shooting fish in a barrel. But I repeat myself.
posted by Noisy Pink Bubbles at 2:11 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by Noisy Pink Bubbles at 2:11 AM on August 1, 2015
"If only Bono was fat too," Bert wistfully daydreamed.
posted by Brocktoon at 2:33 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Brocktoon at 2:33 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
U2's made a lot of great music. It's quite fashionable to hate them, but that'll pass. They're not as great as they used to be, but everybody gets old and tired. Bono's probably saved lives with all that preachy activism stuff. Like, actually saved lives. Maybe a lot of them, I don't know. He's been at it a long time.
Albert here has vented some spleen, filled a little tin cup with vile black stuff. I'm sure he'll soon be full-up, and need a venting again.
Also, that's some pretty hacky shit, about the cats.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:37 AM on August 1, 2015 [45 favorites]
Albert here has vented some spleen, filled a little tin cup with vile black stuff. I'm sure he'll soon be full-up, and need a venting again.
Also, that's some pretty hacky shit, about the cats.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:37 AM on August 1, 2015 [45 favorites]
I mean c’mon, who the fuck are the rest of them anyway?
QFT.
posted by oheso at 2:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
QFT.
posted by oheso at 2:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Nails it on Bono.
Nails it on Lennon.
Nails it on cats.
posted by fredludd at 2:40 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Nails it on Lennon.
Nails it on cats.
posted by fredludd at 2:40 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Say one thing about The Edge... he's got brilliant comic timing
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:59 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:59 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Nails it on Bono.
Nails it on Lennon.
Nails it on cats.
I'd say he's well on his way to becoming the little man in How Nature Says Do Not Touch.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Nails it on Lennon.
Nails it on cats.
I'd say he's well on his way to becoming the little man in How Nature Says Do Not Touch.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
I feel an overwhelming compulsion to write an eviscerating, damning, contemptuous moderately mean spirited article about Albert Burneko but he has not actually done enough to warrant the time. An H L Mencken poser without the wit or intellectually agility. Actually he just pissed me off because he felt a need to include "old" along with the other pejorative words used to describe Bono. I might mention, as an older person, it is somewhat irritating and tiresome. But I am old enough to not waste much time reading the article past the initial ruthless onslaught
posted by rmhsinc at 3:05 AM on August 1, 2015 [20 favorites]
posted by rmhsinc at 3:05 AM on August 1, 2015 [20 favorites]
Bono's probably saved lives with all that preachy activism stuff.
I think we can set it no more strongly than "possibly". The difficulties that may people have with Bono's activism are not all motivated by spite. The active role of EU and US policy in keeping the poorest countries poor is something he frequently ignores in favour of good PR shots for the politicians who have the power to change hugely damaging policies like, for example, the current EU Common Agricultural Policy.
I don't know whether Bono's activism saves lives. Maybe. I do worry about the political cover that sort of activism gives to people whose decisions end lives. It's difficult.
posted by howfar at 3:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
I think we can set it no more strongly than "possibly". The difficulties that may people have with Bono's activism are not all motivated by spite. The active role of EU and US policy in keeping the poorest countries poor is something he frequently ignores in favour of good PR shots for the politicians who have the power to change hugely damaging policies like, for example, the current EU Common Agricultural Policy.
I don't know whether Bono's activism saves lives. Maybe. I do worry about the political cover that sort of activism gives to people whose decisions end lives. It's difficult.
posted by howfar at 3:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
He's wrong about cats and his writing is painful. And, come on, who gives a shit about U2?
posted by dashDashDot at 3:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by dashDashDot at 3:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
I mean c’mon, who the fuck are the rest of them anyway?
Well, you've got Bonobos, Thedge, Adam Clay2000pounts and Larry Mullins Sr's son, obviously.
posted by DrLickies at 3:15 AM on August 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
Well, you've got Bonobos, Thedge, Adam Clay2000pounts and Larry Mullins Sr's son, obviously.
posted by DrLickies at 3:15 AM on August 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
"the world is full of people turning cranks. Much of life is crank-turning. "
"my crank broke a long time ago, but by god, i'm going to keep cranking it - the world won't keep turning unless i do"
posted by pyramid termite at 3:16 AM on August 1, 2015
"my crank broke a long time ago, but by god, i'm going to keep cranking it - the world won't keep turning unless i do"
posted by pyramid termite at 3:16 AM on August 1, 2015
At the end of this article, the only ear I want to punch is the author's.
All of this U2 hating is a little silly. They set out to make huge arena music, and they succeeded. If it's not your thing, you don't have to listen to it. As far as Bono's activism goes, at worst it's embarrassing; at best, he's helping people. Imagine how you'd behave if you were brought up as a heavy-duty catholic and then you made a trillion dollars.
I think Bono is a bit of a twit too, but I really can't get my head around how you can muster so much rage against someone who, if you chose to avoid, you really wouldn't have to encounter all that often.
posted by DrLickies at 3:22 AM on August 1, 2015 [21 favorites]
All of this U2 hating is a little silly. They set out to make huge arena music, and they succeeded. If it's not your thing, you don't have to listen to it. As far as Bono's activism goes, at worst it's embarrassing; at best, he's helping people. Imagine how you'd behave if you were brought up as a heavy-duty catholic and then you made a trillion dollars.
I think Bono is a bit of a twit too, but I really can't get my head around how you can muster so much rage against someone who, if you chose to avoid, you really wouldn't have to encounter all that often.
posted by DrLickies at 3:22 AM on August 1, 2015 [21 favorites]
I thought Peter O'Toole's anti-critic speech at the end of Ratatouille was kind of crybaby bullshit; a weird, self-indulgent capper on a film I already wasn't too crazy about. Sorry, Brad Bird, but your cute, unfocused, talking rat movie failed to convince me that Roger Ebert, Pauline Kael, Lester Bangs, George Orwell and Francois Truffaut were just a bunch of useless hacks motivated by envy. Your modestly amusing foodie rodent cartoon was not better than those people.
Even so, I see a piece like Albert's and damned if I don't find myself really pondering the words of Anton Ego:
In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.
It's certainly not true of all critics. But some dudes, sure.
(I'll admit I've made too many swipes at this particular guppy. God damn it, I have stuff to do before bed!)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:27 AM on August 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
Even so, I see a piece like Albert's and damned if I don't find myself really pondering the words of Anton Ego:
In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.
It's certainly not true of all critics. But some dudes, sure.
(I'll admit I've made too many swipes at this particular guppy. God damn it, I have stuff to do before bed!)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:27 AM on August 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
If only Bono would get around to marrying Hatsune Miku, as the prophesy foretold.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 3:27 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Slithy_Tove at 3:27 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Also, pay some fucking tax.
posted by Segundus at 3:53 AM on August 1, 2015 [28 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 3:53 AM on August 1, 2015 [28 favorites]
This guy is probably no fun at all at parties.
posted by Grangousier at 3:59 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by Grangousier at 3:59 AM on August 1, 2015
Lennon was publicly ashamed and remorseful about his mistreatment of women in his younger days and spent over a decade defending his second wife against relentless misogyny and racism.
He was rich from working his butt off for years performing and singing and entertaining the entire world, so this idiot should get over him living in a nice apartment.
posted by colie at 4:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [33 favorites]
He was rich from working his butt off for years performing and singing and entertaining the entire world, so this idiot should get over him living in a nice apartment.
posted by colie at 4:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [33 favorites]
Imagine how you'd behave if you were brought up as a heavy-duty catholic and then you made a trillion dollars.
Actually, Bono was brought up Protestant. His mam was Church of Ireland (his Da was Catholic, and they decided to raise the kids in her faith).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:09 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Actually, Bono was brought up Protestant. His mam was Church of Ireland (his Da was Catholic, and they decided to raise the kids in her faith).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:09 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Actually, Bono was brought up Protestant
Sorry - Should have said "brought up religious". My mistake.
posted by DrLickies at 4:12 AM on August 1, 2015
Sorry - Should have said "brought up religious". My mistake.
posted by DrLickies at 4:12 AM on August 1, 2015
Even weirder, Bono also went through a kinda hardcore Evangelical-Christian phase right when U2 was starting, as did The Edge and Larry. They almost gave the whole band up because some Pat-Robertson type guy told them it was too worldly.
...pardon me while I savor the thought of what the cognitive dissonance must be like right now for the people who are both U2 haters and lolchristians realizing "shit, the church almost saved us from U2".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:14 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
...pardon me while I savor the thought of what the cognitive dissonance must be like right now for the people who are both U2 haters and lolchristians realizing "shit, the church almost saved us from U2".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:14 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
People who write stuff like this should be required to provide a list of musicians they think are really cool, so we could all have a good laugh.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 4:35 AM on August 1, 2015 [30 favorites]
posted by Sing Or Swim at 4:35 AM on August 1, 2015 [30 favorites]
Bono is the musical equivalent of Tom Cruise.
posted by Fizz at 4:36 AM on August 1, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 4:36 AM on August 1, 2015 [12 favorites]
released in the form of malware forcibly uploaded to every goddamn iTunes account in the world
The faux outrage over this was just ridiculous - and directed at the wrong people. Apple did it.
posted by davebush at 4:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
The faux outrage over this was just ridiculous - and directed at the wrong people. Apple did it.
posted by davebush at 4:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
People who write stuff like this should be required to provide a list of musicians they think are really cool, so we could all have a good laugh. Brian Eno (friend of Bono) once suggested album/film critics should do this as a matter of course, providing a list of their top artists/recordings in the genre they're writing about...
posted by peterkins at 4:44 AM on August 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by peterkins at 4:44 AM on August 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
It is not a critical essay, it's an entertaining rant. The author is an entertaining ranter. He overstates and misstates deliberately for the purpose of entertainment. To treat this as a summary of prolonged, deep consideration on the life and ouvre of a popular celebrity is to misunderstand what he wrote.
I imagine he harbors some opinions vaguely aligned with the premises of the pieces he writes on cats and U2 -- he has to start somewhere -- but this rant is as near to his true beliefs as, say, Jon Bois sincerely believes that baseball games should be 19 hours long.
posted by ardgedee at 4:58 AM on August 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
I imagine he harbors some opinions vaguely aligned with the premises of the pieces he writes on cats and U2 -- he has to start somewhere -- but this rant is as near to his true beliefs as, say, Jon Bois sincerely believes that baseball games should be 19 hours long.
posted by ardgedee at 4:58 AM on August 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
"it is an entertaining rant"--you may well be right and I think it was a serious (attempt) at an entertaining rant. I just did not find it entertaining. it is one thing to rant about an activity ( tennis, baseball, flying) or a vaguely defined group of people ( golfers, cricketers, rock stars, other ranters, Republicans, Libertarians ) it is quite another to rant about a specific person. I think the latter requires a skill that eludes this particular writer--but I did stop early.
posted by rmhsinc at 5:16 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by rmhsinc at 5:16 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Say whatever you like about U2, they've written some great songs. Maybe overexposed, maybe too rich, maybe pretentious at times, but those first three or four albums are great.
I heard Pride the other day, a song I've heard 10 million times before. And it's still a great song.
posted by tunewell at 5:26 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
I heard Pride the other day, a song I've heard 10 million times before. And it's still a great song.
posted by tunewell at 5:26 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
It entertained me, but then I think invective as a genre is something we don't see enough of.
posted by Segundus at 5:29 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 5:29 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
By which I mean the piece entertained me, not Pride...
posted by Segundus at 5:30 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by Segundus at 5:30 AM on August 1, 2015
but then I think invective as a genre is something we don't see enough of.
Read more comments.
No wait....don't do this.
posted by Fizz at 5:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Read more comments.
No wait....don't do this.
posted by Fizz at 5:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
An article on a gawker media property? I'm surprised he didn't out Bono's accountant.
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:40 AM on August 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:40 AM on August 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
Burneko is just about the right speed for a Gawker blog.There is nothing as eye-rolling regarding U2 as there is regarding someone who thinks that taking swipes at them is daring and contrarian.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:44 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:44 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
Burneko is a pretty good food writer.
posted by box at 5:48 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 5:48 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
One day the world will finally figure out that Dave Grohl is the new(ish) Bono.
Dave Grohl is not so much Bono as a version of Punxsutawney Phil who lives in a cozy burrow under the Staples Center and comes out to check for his shadow every time there's an awards show or charity/memorial benefit supergroup opportunity.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:59 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Dave Grohl is not so much Bono as a version of Punxsutawney Phil who lives in a cozy burrow under the Staples Center and comes out to check for his shadow every time there's an awards show or charity/memorial benefit supergroup opportunity.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:59 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
This guy is ok, but he seems to have trouble expressing his actual feelings. I wish he wasn't so timid about his opinions.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by clvrmnky at 6:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Nobody told me I was supposed to eat my cat's shit. This goes for U2 as well.
posted by srboisvert at 6:06 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by srboisvert at 6:06 AM on August 1, 2015
Are writers getting paid extra for Dave Grohl and Amy Schumer stories? It's just endless.
posted by davebush at 6:21 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by davebush at 6:21 AM on August 1, 2015
This is absolutely beautiful.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:30 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:30 AM on August 1, 2015
It is not a critical essay, it's an entertaining rant. The author is an entertaining ranter. He overstates and misstates deliberately for the purpose of entertainment. To treat this as a summary of prolonged, deep consideration on the life and ouvre of a popular celebrity is to misunderstand what he wrote.
I was more entertained by entertaining rants herein "misunderstanding" him.
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:31 AM on August 1, 2015
I was more entertained by entertaining rants herein "misunderstanding" him.
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:31 AM on August 1, 2015
Count me among those who don't get the U2 hate. U2 isn't harmful, unless you consider getting you to vaguely care about some unspecified thing for the duration of the song/speech to be harmful. They're just guys who play music for a living, not murderers.
posted by tommasz at 6:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 6:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Bracing for the inevitable Why U2 Isn't As Bad As You Think article, which will no doubt appear on Slate in 7-10 business days.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:33 AM on August 1, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:33 AM on August 1, 2015 [14 favorites]
Ranting about something the squares like was what we did in the 90s when your friend wanted you to write something for his zine and you weren't feeling particularly inspired, but I suppose it would be ungenerous to try and deny the Millenials this simple, lazy pleasure. I did enjoy the aside about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
posted by prize bull octorok at 6:49 AM on August 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 6:49 AM on August 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
Is U2 and Bono bashing still a thing in 2015? Hasn’t it all been said already?
This guy may even be right on a lot of points, but I don’t care, I’ve always loved them unashamedly since early 80s era when albums were lps you played from start to finish, I will always love them unashamedly no matter what bloated unlistenable stuff they put out in recent years, they’ve been a part of my life since I was a teenager, so I’m not going to engage. It’s clear he hates them and everything they do. What is there to argue? Love them or hate them, that doesn’t need more words than have already been written. Might as well argue if you have a soul or not.
Just thought I’d leave here a link to an early interview with Bono on the longest running talk show on Irish tv, it’s from 1983 and it looks like less than 300 people have seen it, which puzzles me a lot, so here you go, see if you want to raise that count: Bono on the 'Late Late Show' - 1983
posted by bitteschoen at 6:54 AM on August 1, 2015 [12 favorites]
This guy may even be right on a lot of points, but I don’t care, I’ve always loved them unashamedly since early 80s era when albums were lps you played from start to finish, I will always love them unashamedly no matter what bloated unlistenable stuff they put out in recent years, they’ve been a part of my life since I was a teenager, so I’m not going to engage. It’s clear he hates them and everything they do. What is there to argue? Love them or hate them, that doesn’t need more words than have already been written. Might as well argue if you have a soul or not.
Just thought I’d leave here a link to an early interview with Bono on the longest running talk show on Irish tv, it’s from 1983 and it looks like less than 300 people have seen it, which puzzles me a lot, so here you go, see if you want to raise that count: Bono on the 'Late Late Show' - 1983
posted by bitteschoen at 6:54 AM on August 1, 2015 [12 favorites]
OK, I'll fess up here - not a 'hater', but I am deeply amused and entertained by this rant. Sure, U2s first several albums were good, but then they went and got the bloateds, and then there was that time their label sicced the lawyers on Negitiveland, and that dear readers was it for me. The Bono's outsized earnestness is now the oversized side-of-a-barn that I'm glad to see just about anyone take a (metaphorical | critical) shot at. Mega-meh for being the template for ten-thousand shitty 'christian-rock' bands that plague like locusts on that end of the FM dial now.
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 7:25 AM on August 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 7:25 AM on August 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
U2 is no more responsible for Christian rock than I am; the genre dates back to the mid-sixties, about the time that preachers started realizing that ranting against rock and roll was actually costing them young converts. Also, both of Elvis' non-lifetime-achievement Grammys were for gospel albums.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:57 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:57 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
y'all should have read it at two in the morning like I did
posted by koeselitz at 8:18 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 8:18 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
also hating on U2 is by now a time-honored tradition and if you don't like it then you probably don't like children or puppies
posted by koeselitz at 8:22 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 8:22 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Here is a sentence: This past Wednesday, Bono spoke at an Amnesty International ceremony at Ellis Island, celebrating the 40th anniversary of John Lennon receiving his green card. Here is another sentence: John Lennon did not immigrate to the United States through Ellis Island, Amnesty International had nothing to do with his immigration to the United States, and Bono never knew him.
Props for finding a novel way to pad your word count, announcing each sentence with a pre-sentence.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 8:27 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
Props for finding a novel way to pad your word count, announcing each sentence with a pre-sentence.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 8:27 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
Ranting about something the squares like was what we did in the 90s when your friend wanted you to write something for his zine and you weren't feeling particularly inspired, but I suppose it would be ungenerous to try and deny the Millennials this simple, lazy pleasure.
In the early 80s, this was often about wiping the slate clean of the generation who came immediately before us. I had a jacket badge myself, done up in Sex-Pistols ransom-note style, that said "Never Trust a Hippie". We felt like we had to sit through the media telling us how goddamn important Woodstock, and Sgt Pepper, and the Grateful Dead, and CSNY, and even Pink Floyd were, and we were having none of it. So I'm sympathetic to the general attitude.
posted by gimonca at 8:37 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
In the early 80s, this was often about wiping the slate clean of the generation who came immediately before us. I had a jacket badge myself, done up in Sex-Pistols ransom-note style, that said "Never Trust a Hippie". We felt like we had to sit through the media telling us how goddamn important Woodstock, and Sgt Pepper, and the Grateful Dead, and CSNY, and even Pink Floyd were, and we were having none of it. So I'm sympathetic to the general attitude.
posted by gimonca at 8:37 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, hating on U2 is indeed a time-honored tradition, going back over 20 years.
posted by gimonca at 8:38 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by gimonca at 8:38 AM on August 1, 2015
Someone once wrote that being a Republican was like sitting in a room seething about the fact that someone, somewhere, is having a good time.
This author is apparently one of that kind, upset that someone is having the Wrong Kind of Fun.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
This author is apparently one of that kind, upset that someone is having the Wrong Kind of Fun.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
This passes for criticism now? God I wish we could get a proper Michiko Kakutani-style evisceration of this entire genre of windbag self-regarding college-radio-sophisticante yammering so that it would go away forever. What insipid dreck.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 9:11 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 9:11 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
I decided to play one of the videos so as to better-inform myself. Hard to believe they've seemingly gotten worse in the 20-odd years I've avoided listening to them on purpose. They've moved into the ecological niche vacated by Hootie and the Blowfish.
This article has made my weekend better already. The author is a boon to humanity, unlike the preening Swiss bank accounts he writes about.
posted by univac at 9:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
This article has made my weekend better already. The author is a boon to humanity, unlike the preening Swiss bank accounts he writes about.
posted by univac at 9:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Sorry, Brad Bird, but your cute, unfocused, talking rat movie failed to convince me that Roger Ebert, Pauline Kael, Lester Bangs, George Orwell and Francois Truffaut were just a bunch of useless hacks motivated by envy.
That is not what the critic's speech says at all. It's about how great critics take risks and discover new things for others to enjoy, nurturing the artists that themselves take risks. And what is riskier than putting some strange food in your body?
There's nothing there about jealousy and envy. It's a paean to a critics that seek out the new instead of insisting on the repetition of the tried and true. It's wishing there were more Eberts in the world.
Read it again.
"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:18 AM on August 1, 2015 [14 favorites]
That is not what the critic's speech says at all. It's about how great critics take risks and discover new things for others to enjoy, nurturing the artists that themselves take risks. And what is riskier than putting some strange food in your body?
There's nothing there about jealousy and envy. It's a paean to a critics that seek out the new instead of insisting on the repetition of the tried and true. It's wishing there were more Eberts in the world.
Read it again.
"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:18 AM on August 1, 2015 [14 favorites]
I hated U2 way before it was cool. Like, from the first time I heard them, many decades ago. So I don't listen to them. And I've restricted my writing about how much I hate them to pretty much just this comment. It doesn't require a lot of analysis.
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:29 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:29 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
So I'm assuming people are listening to this Burneko fellow because he's some sort of important music critic? So why is that?
posted by tommyD at 9:29 AM on August 1, 2015
posted by tommyD at 9:29 AM on August 1, 2015
I kinda skimmed the articles, but apparently the author is claiming Bono has some kind of parasite in his feces that gets into peoples brains and convinces them they enjoy U2's music?
posted by straight at 9:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by straight at 9:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
No, wait I'm thinking of that unsolicited iTunes album.
posted by straight at 9:41 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by straight at 9:41 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I hated U2 way before it was cool. Like, from the first time I heard them, many decades ago. So I don't listen to them.
This means you listened to "Boy", hated it, then trusted your intuition and haven't listened to the rest of their discography?
posted by davebush at 10:00 AM on August 1, 2015
This means you listened to "Boy", hated it, then trusted your intuition and haven't listened to the rest of their discography?
posted by davebush at 10:00 AM on August 1, 2015
People who criticise Bon O don't know what they're talking about. He comes from a BIG family of musico-political activists without whose passionate politico-musicality the Earth would be naught but a tuneless ball of poverty and hate. I salute Bon O and his poli-musicalist relatives, namely Bon Jovi, Bon nie-Tyler, Bon Scott (RIP) and Bon Iver. And Bon, Simon Le. And Bon e Burnett, T-.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:03 AM on August 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:03 AM on August 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
Eh. You think U2 are old? The Rolling Stones are old! Now get off my lawn.
posted by monospace at 10:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by monospace at 10:04 AM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
This rant is the 2015 equivalent of a Jay Leno monolog. Other subjects this writer will be tackling:
Politicians sure are dumb, right?
Man, New York taxi drivers!
People really say dumb things sometimes.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:05 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Politicians sure are dumb, right?
Man, New York taxi drivers!
People really say dumb things sometimes.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:05 AM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
What about airplane food though? Right? You know what I'm talking about! No but seriously, it's great to be here in MetaFilter tonight.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:07 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:07 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
Oh, look. Another MeFi U2 pile-on.
posted by uberchet at 10:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by uberchet at 10:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'd read the rest of the pile-on, but life's too short. Instead, I'll go listen to some U2.
posted by pwinn at 10:14 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by pwinn at 10:14 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Ok, I'll throw down for 2, maybe 2.5 albums. That's Boy, October, and arguably War
Boy remains the greatest example of post-punk as filtered through Irish society. It's a bleak, wintery collection of songs of youth, alienation, desperation.
October, while muddled, is a continuation of those themes, albeit focused upon experiences touring outside of Ireland. It's about what it's like to be a pilgrim, what it's like to be an expatriate and young and touring the world for the first time. At this point, Bono Hewson is still considering seminary school.
It's with War that the rot sets in. War is where Bono becomes Bono; where he faces the Gorgon of Capitalist America and becomes transfixed by it. It's more polished, more commercial.
Lastly, I will say that Albert Bernenko, like Armand White, is not a critic. A critic engages with a body of work, and develops a schema and a context for assessing the quality of work relative to other works in the genre. What Mr. Bernenko is, is a taste troll. A modern derivative of the click-baiter, an incendiarist who reviles and execrates for no purpose other than traffic.
Still, well enough. I'm going to write an exploration of U2, to show how it's done. Look to my site in a few days if you want to see it.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 10:35 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
Boy remains the greatest example of post-punk as filtered through Irish society. It's a bleak, wintery collection of songs of youth, alienation, desperation.
October, while muddled, is a continuation of those themes, albeit focused upon experiences touring outside of Ireland. It's about what it's like to be a pilgrim, what it's like to be an expatriate and young and touring the world for the first time. At this point, Bono Hewson is still considering seminary school.
It's with War that the rot sets in. War is where Bono becomes Bono; where he faces the Gorgon of Capitalist America and becomes transfixed by it. It's more polished, more commercial.
Lastly, I will say that Albert Bernenko, like Armand White, is not a critic. A critic engages with a body of work, and develops a schema and a context for assessing the quality of work relative to other works in the genre. What Mr. Bernenko is, is a taste troll. A modern derivative of the click-baiter, an incendiarist who reviles and execrates for no purpose other than traffic.
Still, well enough. I'm going to write an exploration of U2, to show how it's done. Look to my site in a few days if you want to see it.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 10:35 AM on August 1, 2015 [9 favorites]
Some people spend their lives thinking and creating and trying to help and some people spend their lives thinking and hating. I think I would rather live like Bono.
posted by gt2 at 10:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by gt2 at 10:39 AM on August 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
I agree. I hate paying tax.
I'm sorry I couldn't help it!
posted by howfar at 11:03 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
I'm sorry I couldn't help it!
posted by howfar at 11:03 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
Props for finding a novel way to pad your word count, announcing each sentence with a pre-sentence.
I was confused by the rest of the article. I was never quite sure if they were sentences or not.
posted by saul wright at 11:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
I was confused by the rest of the article. I was never quite sure if they were sentences or not.
posted by saul wright at 11:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
I stole this one from talkinleaf, though it's not his fault if I tell it poorly:
U2 were playing another stellar sold out show in Glasgow. They were half way through the set and the band stops playing.
When the crowd quiets Bono starts rhythmically clapping.
The crowd starts clapping along, looking slightly confused; then Bono steps up to the mic and says:
"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
"Every time"
"I clap my hands"
"A child in Africa"
"Dies."
He continues to clap and the tension builds...
Then out from the middle of the crowd an obviously drunk voice shouts back:
"Well then stop doing it!"
posted by evilDoug at 11:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [24 favorites]
U2 were playing another stellar sold out show in Glasgow. They were half way through the set and the band stops playing.
When the crowd quiets Bono starts rhythmically clapping.
The crowd starts clapping along, looking slightly confused; then Bono steps up to the mic and says:
"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
"Every time"
"I clap my hands"
"A child in Africa"
"Dies."
He continues to clap and the tension builds...
Then out from the middle of the crowd an obviously drunk voice shouts back:
"Well then stop doing it!"
posted by evilDoug at 11:08 AM on August 1, 2015 [24 favorites]
Is U2 and Bono bashing still a thing in 2015? Hasn’t it all been said already?
Someone called Bono the Tom Cruise of music upthread. I'm more partial to calling U2 the Starbucks of music. IE: a brand that's impossible to ignore and thus clearly easy to hate on, but seriously, there are far, far worse examples of doing-it-wrong out there, and more to the point, if you actually know your cultural history, you'd know that, for all their sins, their arrival on the scene actually forced everyone (even little indie outfits) to raise their game.
posted by philip-random at 11:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
Someone called Bono the Tom Cruise of music upthread. I'm more partial to calling U2 the Starbucks of music. IE: a brand that's impossible to ignore and thus clearly easy to hate on, but seriously, there are far, far worse examples of doing-it-wrong out there, and more to the point, if you actually know your cultural history, you'd know that, for all their sins, their arrival on the scene actually forced everyone (even little indie outfits) to raise their game.
posted by philip-random at 11:12 AM on August 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
They set out to make huge arena music, and they succeeded. If it's not your thing, you don't have to listen to it.
Indeed. When I was young lad and they came out I thought they were terrible and nothing they've ever done has convinced me otherwise but so what? Music is, to me, the most difficult thing to quantify and people respond very differently to the same compositions and sounds. I know a lot of bands I love are despised by many, but that doesn't change my opinion or enjoyment of them.
As for Bono's activism, I have no idea. I don't pay attention to it. There are a ton of very terrible things going on in the world now and if Bono's activism is terrible (again I have no idea), surely it would sit very low in the list of terrible things people are doing or things that may not be terrible, but are poorly executed. I'm far more concerned with the faux activism of the Tea Party and the incredibly horrible income equality that continues to grow which will eventually affect U2 ticket sales, I guess.
posted by juiceCake at 11:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Indeed. When I was young lad and they came out I thought they were terrible and nothing they've ever done has convinced me otherwise but so what? Music is, to me, the most difficult thing to quantify and people respond very differently to the same compositions and sounds. I know a lot of bands I love are despised by many, but that doesn't change my opinion or enjoyment of them.
As for Bono's activism, I have no idea. I don't pay attention to it. There are a ton of very terrible things going on in the world now and if Bono's activism is terrible (again I have no idea), surely it would sit very low in the list of terrible things people are doing or things that may not be terrible, but are poorly executed. I'm far more concerned with the faux activism of the Tea Party and the incredibly horrible income equality that continues to grow which will eventually affect U2 ticket sales, I guess.
posted by juiceCake at 11:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Dorks in full-body leotards dunk off trampolines to this song during timeouts of NBA games:
This part at least is literally true.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
This part at least is literally true.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:32 AM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Adults with self-respect still read Gawker Inc. content?
posted by ambient2 at 12:00 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ambient2 at 12:00 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
This means you listened to "Boy", hated it, then trusted your intuition and haven't listened to the rest of their discography?
Um, maybe? Maybe it was a different one?
But I don't need to listen to them to hear them. And I've heard them plenty. And they're not my cup o' tea. And that's OK.
My intuition on first-listen is pretty good though. I've rarely liked a band that I started off not liking. There are a few exceptions. Very few.
You know who I like, though?
Rush.
À chacun son goût.
posted by Cookiebastard at 12:11 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Um, maybe? Maybe it was a different one?
But I don't need to listen to them to hear them. And I've heard them plenty. And they're not my cup o' tea. And that's OK.
My intuition on first-listen is pretty good though. I've rarely liked a band that I started off not liking. There are a few exceptions. Very few.
You know who I like, though?
Rush.
À chacun son goût.
posted by Cookiebastard at 12:11 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
it's an entertaining rant.
To be "entertaing," it would first have to aim higher than "lol U2 is dad rock." But each generation thinks it's the first to discover the important truths of life so maybe millennials think they're the first to discover that, too.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:12 PM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
To be "entertaing," it would first have to aim higher than "lol U2 is dad rock." But each generation thinks it's the first to discover the important truths of life so maybe millennials think they're the first to discover that, too.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:12 PM on August 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Nobody can get mad at the Red Hot Chili Peppers." Wrong.
posted by queensissy at 12:35 PM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by queensissy at 12:35 PM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
So can I stop cringing about the time I traded a U2 record for my friend's Dan Folgelberg record back in seventh grade?
No?
Ok.
posted by bibliowench at 12:39 PM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
No?
Ok.
posted by bibliowench at 12:39 PM on August 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Also, I have spent the morning reading through Albert Burneko's non-sports posts and have been enjoying them greatly. Thanks for introducing me to him.
posted by bibliowench at 12:40 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by bibliowench at 12:40 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
"Nobody can get mad at the Red Hot Chili Peppers." Wrong.
My first real concert was RHCP opening for The Untouchables in 1984 in UC Irvine's old basketball gym.
Anthony Kiedis was too wasted to go on stage. Flea was jumping around playing stuff and occasionally yelling into the mike, "We don't got no lead singer!"
Eventually a dude came out and sang "True Men Don't Kill Coyotes," and they left with people booing and throwing shit.
"Was that the lead singer?" I asked my friend.
"No, it was a fucking roadie."
The Untouchables were great.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:25 PM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
My first real concert was RHCP opening for The Untouchables in 1984 in UC Irvine's old basketball gym.
Anthony Kiedis was too wasted to go on stage. Flea was jumping around playing stuff and occasionally yelling into the mike, "We don't got no lead singer!"
Eventually a dude came out and sang "True Men Don't Kill Coyotes," and they left with people booing and throwing shit.
"Was that the lead singer?" I asked my friend.
"No, it was a fucking roadie."
The Untouchables were great.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:25 PM on August 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
The author is an entertaining ranter.
No, he's about as entertaining as getting sprayed in the eyes by an enraged skunk while being forced to listen to "The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)" on auto-repeat. I like the "taste troll" characterization above.
The competition to see who is the biggest U2 hate-monger has become officially old. That this guy pisses on John Lennon for good measure makes it doubly hackneyed. Ah, we have torn off the facade and proven our idols of ye Olde Geezer Music Era to be false, hollow, corrupt, and seething with maggots! Such wisdom. Such brave, incandescent iconoclasm!
This is a much more nuanced recent hate letter to U2, but even so, I still don't understand it after reading it and thinking it over. U2 would be better if they stopped trying to be sincere and instead went back to "reveling in bad taste" and the "ironic" days of Pop, which was probably their most awful album ever?
posted by blucevalo at 1:38 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
No, he's about as entertaining as getting sprayed in the eyes by an enraged skunk while being forced to listen to "The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)" on auto-repeat. I like the "taste troll" characterization above.
The competition to see who is the biggest U2 hate-monger has become officially old. That this guy pisses on John Lennon for good measure makes it doubly hackneyed. Ah, we have torn off the facade and proven our idols of ye Olde Geezer Music Era to be false, hollow, corrupt, and seething with maggots! Such wisdom. Such brave, incandescent iconoclasm!
This is a much more nuanced recent hate letter to U2, but even so, I still don't understand it after reading it and thinking it over. U2 would be better if they stopped trying to be sincere and instead went back to "reveling in bad taste" and the "ironic" days of Pop, which was probably their most awful album ever?
posted by blucevalo at 1:38 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
two words - ted nugent
posted by pyramid termite at 2:24 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pyramid termite at 2:24 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hands up if you read the cat one first.
posted by rhizome at 2:51 PM on August 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 2:51 PM on August 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
The only thing more stale than U2 is bashing them for being stale.
posted by Beholder at 4:03 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Beholder at 4:03 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah, obviously music like this can have no value when delivered with melodramatic facial expressions. Taking stances against apartheid and etc is really offensive to jaded columnists who haven't contributed much to the world but bile and lazy snark. And people are the same across decades long careers and are never changed by fame and wealth.
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:50 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:50 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Except for the annoying Scientology part, and the bashing of pyschotropic drugs Because Evil or whatever, and the jumping on a couch over Katie Holmes, I don't see why being Tom Cruise would be such a bad thing. First, Bono isn't a Scientologist, and he's never been jumping on Oprah chairs over a special lady, nor has he been against medication for people who need, on some dingbat cult religious grounds or any other. Otherwise... Tom is in good shape and produced and starred in what will likely be the No. 1 movie in America this weekend, one that has also been well-received critically, surprisingly so. It's a stylish little flick, funny too. He's done some fine acting here and there, has left a great little legacy in the film dept., as an actor and producer.
He wants to kill himself for our entertainment, though, apparently. If Bono falls off a 100 foot flying stage or something, then the comparison will stick. Yes, yes that.
posted by raysmj at 5:59 PM on August 1, 2015
He wants to kill himself for our entertainment, though, apparently. If Bono falls off a 100 foot flying stage or something, then the comparison will stick. Yes, yes that.
posted by raysmj at 5:59 PM on August 1, 2015
Kinda awful how he basically screwed Nicole Kidman out of ever being a significant part of her kids' lives. Or allowed his operatives to do so.
posted by koeselitz at 6:11 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by koeselitz at 6:11 PM on August 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah, Bono hasn't been nefarious on that level, not even remotely.
posted by raysmj at 6:19 PM on August 1, 2015
posted by raysmj at 6:19 PM on August 1, 2015
Yeah, I'm having no trouble deciding which side to be on, here. Piss off, Anton Ego. Bono forever.
posted by JLovebomb at 6:54 PM on August 1, 2015
posted by JLovebomb at 6:54 PM on August 1, 2015
Brian Eno (friend of Bono)
Basically the fact that he's friends with Brian Eno and Gavin Friday are Bono's only redeeming qualities.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:04 PM on August 1, 2015
Basically the fact that he's friends with Brian Eno and Gavin Friday are Bono's only redeeming qualities.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:04 PM on August 1, 2015
Yeah well I liked the article AND I kind of like some of the older catchier U2 songs so
posted by ostranenie at 11:09 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ostranenie at 11:09 PM on August 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Could Albert Burneko have recorded this?
Didn't think so.
posted by flabdablet at 1:51 AM on August 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Didn't think so.
posted by flabdablet at 1:51 AM on August 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
I feel pretty strongly that there can be creative power in hate. If you hate something enough that it brings you to write lengthy, witty, entertaining sentences - of which I thought this article was full - then there can be some great value in that. People like Eno say that these critics are just negative, so they should be required to mention bands they're positive about upfront so we can laugh right back at them; but that's not how criticism works. The marvelous thing about criticism is that it's absolutely impossible to say anything negative about anyone or anything for more than a sentence or two without at least accidentally affirming some positive belief about the world. When you do it right - when you embrace that vulnerability inherent in negativity - you attain a spiritual position of power, what I like to call the Prophethood of Morrissey. This guy ranting about U2 has a few brilliant moments, like that aside about the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and there are enough there for me to get a colorful picture of a human soul. I like that.
Oh, and it was nice to have somebody say that about Batman, because it's true. Kinda wish he hadn't brought Superman into it, because Superman is just as bad; but nobody's perfect.
posted by koeselitz at 2:24 AM on August 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
Oh, and it was nice to have somebody say that about Batman, because it's true. Kinda wish he hadn't brought Superman into it, because Superman is just as bad; but nobody's perfect.
posted by koeselitz at 2:24 AM on August 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
Ursula Hitler: "I thought Peter O'Toole's anti-critic speech at the end of Ratatouille was kind of crybaby bullshit; a weird, self-indulgent capper on a film I already wasn't too crazy about. Sorry, Brad Bird, but your cute, unfocused, talking rat movie failed to convince me that Roger Ebert, Pauline Kael, Lester Bangs, George Orwell and Francois Truffaut were just a bunch of useless hacks motivated by envy. Your modestly amusing foodie rodent cartoon was not better than those people."
As Cool Papa Bell has mentioned, I think you're missing an important part of this speech (I've highlighted it):
Ursula Hitler: "In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends."
He's not saying that the average piece of junk is more meaningful than the average critic's article, he's saying that the average piece of junk is more meaningful than the teardown of that junk. Where the critic is needed — where the critic shines — is in the discovery of good new things that would otherwise be overlooked. Sure, negative criticism gets page views, but that's the easy critic work. The valuable and hard critic work is in going out on a limb to share something new and good that people resist because people don't like new. None of that is remotely saying that "Roger Ebert, Pauline Kael, Lester Bangs, George Orwell and Francois Truffaut were just a bunch of useless hacks motivated by envy" nor that "Your modestly amusing foodie rodent cartoon was not better than those people".
I mean, I do disagree with Ego's speech in the sense that I've read really good analyses of why movies fail, that have been much more valuable and interesting than the failed movie (Red Letter Media's analysis of the failure of the Phantom Menace was far, far better than the Phantom Menace itself). But even if one were to concede that a scathing review isn't brave or particularly valuable, none of what Ego says in that speech applies to proper critics who don't just write angry rants but also find and champion new diamonds. Ego's speech, honestly, is an indictment of "critics" like Albert Burneko.
posted by Bugbread at 3:39 PM on August 2, 2015
As Cool Papa Bell has mentioned, I think you're missing an important part of this speech (I've highlighted it):
Ursula Hitler: "In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends."
He's not saying that the average piece of junk is more meaningful than the average critic's article, he's saying that the average piece of junk is more meaningful than the teardown of that junk. Where the critic is needed — where the critic shines — is in the discovery of good new things that would otherwise be overlooked. Sure, negative criticism gets page views, but that's the easy critic work. The valuable and hard critic work is in going out on a limb to share something new and good that people resist because people don't like new. None of that is remotely saying that "Roger Ebert, Pauline Kael, Lester Bangs, George Orwell and Francois Truffaut were just a bunch of useless hacks motivated by envy" nor that "Your modestly amusing foodie rodent cartoon was not better than those people".
I mean, I do disagree with Ego's speech in the sense that I've read really good analyses of why movies fail, that have been much more valuable and interesting than the failed movie (Red Letter Media's analysis of the failure of the Phantom Menace was far, far better than the Phantom Menace itself). But even if one were to concede that a scathing review isn't brave or particularly valuable, none of what Ego says in that speech applies to proper critics who don't just write angry rants but also find and champion new diamonds. Ego's speech, honestly, is an indictment of "critics" like Albert Burneko.
posted by Bugbread at 3:39 PM on August 2, 2015
Also, I think it's extremely important that Ego is talking about being a food critic. There are plenty of examples of critics writing takedowns of literature and film for things like supporting sexism, racism, fascism, etc. However, in the case of food critics, 99.99% of the time negative criticism is just variations on "tastes bad" "wrong temperature" "poor service". Not issues of greater societal importance. Sure, there is a lot of socially important expose reporting on food — environmental impact, working conditions, overfishing, etc. — but those are reported in regular articles, not in critics' reviews of individual restaurants, which is what Ego does and what he's talking about.
posted by Bugbread at 4:09 PM on August 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Bugbread at 4:09 PM on August 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
I used to write a lot of 'entertaining rants' myself.
I also remember my first beer.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:27 PM on August 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
I also remember my first beer.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:27 PM on August 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
I don't think Ego's speech is just about food critics at all, and I think the slap at critics is pretty broad. There are plenty of artists who just regard critics as a bunch of envious meanies who tear down the work of artists because they have no talent themselves. (Mel Brooks used to call critics crickets.) I think Ego's speech is saying that there is worth in a critic celebrating the new and good, but that otherwise criticism is just kind of worthless.
I feel pretty strongly that there can be creative power in hate.
Sure. Anger is an energy. But there is justified hate, applied to the right subjects, and then there's just being a nasty hack comic.
I also remember my first beer.
See, that was mean, but it was also funnier than anything Burneko's every written.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:54 PM on August 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
I feel pretty strongly that there can be creative power in hate.
Sure. Anger is an energy. But there is justified hate, applied to the right subjects, and then there's just being a nasty hack comic.
I also remember my first beer.
See, that was mean, but it was also funnier than anything Burneko's every written.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:54 PM on August 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
This guy's no Adam Scott Aukerman.
True, but He Is Talkin' U2 To You.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:25 PM on August 2, 2015
True, but He Is Talkin' U2 To You.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:25 PM on August 2, 2015
Hipster gasbaggery. I imagine the author wrote this piece with a can of PBR and a shot of Fireball next to him. Now, seriously, get off my lawn.
posted by Chuffy at 12:46 AM on August 3, 2015
posted by Chuffy at 12:46 AM on August 3, 2015
I imagine the author wrote this thing chuckling with every sentence about how people might take it seriously.
posted by h00py at 6:37 AM on August 3, 2015
posted by h00py at 6:37 AM on August 3, 2015
So, I looked him up, just in case I got it wrong about him. Can't say for sure what he was drinking, but this is from his twitter feed:
"OK, so, last night I had some drinks and kinda unloaded some stuff on poor Bono (who sucks)."
Maybe we're both right.
posted by Chuffy at 9:22 AM on August 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
"OK, so, last night I had some drinks and kinda unloaded some stuff on poor Bono (who sucks)."
Maybe we're both right.
posted by Chuffy at 9:22 AM on August 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
I feel pretty strongly that there can be creative power in hate. If you hate something enough that it brings you to write lengthy, witty, entertaining sentences - of which I thought this article was full - then there can be some great value in that.
I adore me some snarky, creative, entertaining take-downs of bad and stupid things. But I'm not sure I'm very proud of that. I do think critics who lead me to discover something good are doing me a greater service than critics who give me full belly-laughs at something bad.
posted by straight at 10:36 AM on August 3, 2015
I adore me some snarky, creative, entertaining take-downs of bad and stupid things. But I'm not sure I'm very proud of that. I do think critics who lead me to discover something good are doing me a greater service than critics who give me full belly-laughs at something bad.
posted by straight at 10:36 AM on August 3, 2015
Holy shit, speaking of Adam Scott Aukerman, a new episode of You Talkin' U2 To Me just went up -- and they finally got the band on the podcast!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:34 PM on August 6, 2015
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:34 PM on August 6, 2015
It's so embarrassing! Bono clearly wants to fuck around with them -- he gives them a dick pic with a Bonobos signature! -- and they're too nervous to do anything except launch into their prepared questions about what other bands Bono would want to do a podcast about. So uncomfortable! I have to keep pausing it to work off all my nervous energy and contact embarrassment. I felt the same way about Obama's WTF... I couldn't even get through that.
posted by painquale at 12:36 AM on August 7, 2015
posted by painquale at 12:36 AM on August 7, 2015
Haven't heard it yet, but Bono is simultaneously the most earnest guy in the world and kind of a wiseass. Years ago Current TV aired a video following the Edge and Bono around on tour, very unglamorous, hang-out stuff, and I was struck by how Bono was just busting the Edge's chops endlessly. It was clearly affectionate, but the Edge just sort of looked pained while Bono kept making fun of him. Bono was not at all the serious, save-the-world guy we're used to seeing.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 12:55 AM on August 7, 2015
posted by Ursula Hitler at 12:55 AM on August 7, 2015
Even though Adam and Scott kept breaking in to the recording and talking about how embarrassingly starstruck they were, I didn't find it that uncomfortable or squirmy at all, painquale. I thought it was all kind of charming and unironically enthusiastic, and I thought the U2 guys came off sounding genuinely nice (if occasionally a bit rock-star pretentious, but kind of aware of that and trying hard not to be at the same time) and game for the whole thing.
But I get where you're coming from -- I just felt like after about 15 minutes in or so, it was pretty fun for everyone concerned (which was reinforced by looking at the pics). Well, except maybe for Adam Scott, who was pretty starstruck the whole way through, it sounds like, which is odd because he's a Famous Person in his own right, so I find his nervousness all the more charming.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:09 AM on August 7, 2015
But I get where you're coming from -- I just felt like after about 15 minutes in or so, it was pretty fun for everyone concerned (which was reinforced by looking at the pics). Well, except maybe for Adam Scott, who was pretty starstruck the whole way through, it sounds like, which is odd because he's a Famous Person in his own right, so I find his nervousness all the more charming.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:09 AM on August 7, 2015
Also, I don't think Bono was fucking with them at all. Particularly when you listen to the end of the podcast, when Bono takes them aside and plays them some songs from the upcoming album with great enthusiasm, I think it's clear that he was really into just having genuine fun with them.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:11 AM on August 7, 2015
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:11 AM on August 7, 2015
Oh, he was definitely fucking with them. I mean, he dropped a cryptic line about where Scott had lunch the day before. What's that if not a way of fucking with them?
But Scott and Scott fuck around with each other all the time, and I think Bono just wanted to be a part of that dynamic. My guess is that Bono was played some segments of the podcast, he thought it was funny, and he wanted to join in on the fun. But the Scotts were so stymied and starstruck that they couldn't play along, so the dynamic dissolved and Bono quickly recalibrated. Also, I don't think the other band members were in on the joke in the way that Bono was. Whenever Aukerman tried for a joke question, the other members took it too seriously.
It all turned out OK and it has a happy ending, but I still squirmed through the whole thing.
I was really hoping that there would be some mention of Old Sourpuss. I wanted to see how the band would react to that name.
posted by painquale at 2:00 AM on August 7, 2015
But Scott and Scott fuck around with each other all the time, and I think Bono just wanted to be a part of that dynamic. My guess is that Bono was played some segments of the podcast, he thought it was funny, and he wanted to join in on the fun. But the Scotts were so stymied and starstruck that they couldn't play along, so the dynamic dissolved and Bono quickly recalibrated. Also, I don't think the other band members were in on the joke in the way that Bono was. Whenever Aukerman tried for a joke question, the other members took it too seriously.
It all turned out OK and it has a happy ending, but I still squirmed through the whole thing.
I was really hoping that there would be some mention of Old Sourpuss. I wanted to see how the band would react to that name.
posted by painquale at 2:00 AM on August 7, 2015
Ah well, that's down to a terminology issue that we understand differently, then, I guess.
I think of 'fucking with' someone as malicious, and 'fucking around with' as more like 'joshing around'. Seems like you mean more the latter than the former.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:46 PM on August 7, 2015
I think of 'fucking with' someone as malicious, and 'fucking around with' as more like 'joshing around'. Seems like you mean more the latter than the former.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:46 PM on August 7, 2015
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