"If someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, don’t have sex with them"
August 15, 2015 9:11 AM   Subscribe

In the United States, only 22 states require that sex education should be taught in their schools. Of those, only 13 insist upon medical accuracy. There is no federal standard. As a result, classroom lessons that teach purity culture – the idea that virginity is a state of moral accomplishment – are pervasive. John Oliver's Last Week Tonight covers Sex Education in America. (NSFW) The end of the segment features a modern sex education video created by LWT, narrated by several celebrities (including Laverne Cox, Nick Offerman, Jonathan Banks, Kristen Schaal and Aisha Tyler) that touches on topics outdated lessons may be ignoring.

Time: The video is both highly educational and highly NSFW.

Rolling Stone: John Oliver Eviscerates American Sex Ed – But the Reality Is Even Worse "Oliver only touches on the fact that federal tax dollars are poured into inaccurate, religious sex ed programs around the country/"
posted by zarq (45 comments total) 52 users marked this as a favorite


 
Oliver's celebrity-narrated sex ed video begins here.
posted by zarq at 9:15 AM on August 15, 2015


Time: The video is both highly educational and highly NSFW.

American Puritanical attitudes summed up neatly. Educational material on sex isn't even fully suitable for open discussion amongst grownups.
posted by jaduncan at 9:16 AM on August 15, 2015 [18 favorites]


Educational material on sex isn't even fully suitable for open discussion amongst grownups.

We do not label material NSFW to indicate whether it is open for discussion. It's to prevent people from feeling uncomfortable, pressured or harassed in working environments.
posted by zarq at 9:21 AM on August 15, 2015 [45 favorites]


American Puritanical attitudes summed up neatly. Educational material on sex isn't even fully suitable for open discussion amongst grownups.

No, not really. "Not safe for work" isn't the same thing as "not even fully suitable for open discussion among grown ups."
posted by holborne at 9:22 AM on August 15, 2015 [16 favorites]


I'm unable to watch the videos currently...does he list what the 13 states requiring medically accurate information are? (PLEASE Minnesota PLEASE Minnesota...)
posted by werkzeuger at 9:33 AM on August 15, 2015


I always wonder what these people think about all the kinky shit in the Bible.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:34 AM on August 15, 2015


Welcome to my world. I'm on the good side, doing my best to counteract the shaming crap that is out there. North Carolina is one of the states that has mandated comprehensive sex ed in schools that must be medically accurate. Unfortunately in making the sausage, the law also has some pretty glaringly bigoted language as well.

The sock "condom" guy is my colleague in Mississippi. They have it harder than I do.
posted by Stewriffic at 9:43 AM on August 15, 2015 [21 favorites]


I teach sex ed in British Columbia. We have sex ed in the curriculum but there are a couple of problems. One is that there is no training for teachers to deliver the material so you end up with a huge range of quality. I am comfortable talking about all sex ed topics that might come up, but most other teachers are not. I often go and do the sex ed unit for other teachers. (which is good because the kids are getting the info but it sucks because I end up doing it in 2-3 classes rather than the 2 weeks I would spend on the unit with my own classes.) Some just flat out refuse to cover it, even though it is in the curriculum. The other problem is that the curriculum basically covers contraceptives, STI's, and healthy relationships. It's under the healthy relationships that I justify covering things like homophobia and transphobia, consent, sexual objectification, and more. However these topics are not *officially* in the curriculum and I would love to see them added.
posted by sadtomato at 9:47 AM on August 15, 2015 [14 favorites]


Wikipedia:

As of November 1, 2014:

22 states (and the District of Columbia) mandate that sex education be provided.
Delaware, Georgia, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, District of Columbia

13 states require that, when provided, sex education be medically accurate.
California, Colorado, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Michigan, New Jersey, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Washington

2 states ban the promotion of religion in sex education.
California, Louisiana

18 states (and the District of Columbia) require that, when provided, sex education must include information on contraception.
Alabama, California, Colorado, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, District of Columbia

12 states require that, when provided, sex education covers sexual orientation.

9 States require an inclusive perspective on sexual orientation be given.
California, Colorado, Delaware, Iowa, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington

3 states require that only negative information on sexual orientation be presented.
Alabama, South Carolina, Texas

37 states require abstinence education be provided.

25 states require abstinence to be stressed.
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin

12 States require abstinence to be covered.
California, Colorado, Hawaii, Kentucky, Maryland, Minnesota, Montana, New Mexico, North Dakota, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia

19 states require that instruction regarding the importance of waiting to engage in sexual relations until marriage be included.
Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin
posted by zarq at 9:48 AM on August 15, 2015 [31 favorites]


I always wonder what these people think about all the kinky shit in the Bible.

And even the bible skips over the uncomfortable conundrum of Adam, Eve and the boys populating the earth.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:49 AM on August 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's to prevent people from feeling uncomfortable, pressured or harassed in working environments.

Yes. By a purely educational video. But this is a derail, so I'm agreeing to disagree.
posted by jaduncan at 9:50 AM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is how I'm putting my socks on from now on.
posted by adept256 at 9:57 AM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


3 states require that only negative information on sexual orientation be presented.
Alabama, South Carolina, Texas


What does that even mean? I looked at the citations on Wikipedia and didn't see any evidence of this actually being a law in the states listed, though it is in fact in the Guttmacher Institute brief, so it's more than bizarre Wikipedia editing.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:05 AM on August 15, 2015


~3 states require that only negative information on sexual orientation be presented.
Alabama, South Carolina, Texas

~What does that even mean?


I take it to mean they require teaching that homosexuality is wrong/evil/against god's plan/etc.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:09 AM on August 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yes, a purely educational video with sexually explicit content can be used to create a hostile environment at some work places. Calling this puritanical is dismissive of women's experiences of harassment in the workplace.

This video is great, though, miles better than anything I ever got in school.
posted by Mavri at 10:22 AM on August 15, 2015 [14 favorites]


I had fairly decent sex ed (in Catholic school, no less), but the thing I remember most of all was my health teacher was emphatically against IUDs (because of the Dalkon Shield history) and as a current IUD-haver, I'm just glad the internet exists now so I could find out about them.
posted by misskaz at 10:27 AM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


i feel like terrible sex ed and our backwards views of sex and the general misogyny of our culture all swirl together to create spaces for people like roosh v to really get a hold. it seems like if we can fix the first, maybe the second would follow, and then maybe just maybe we can make a dent in the third. probably a fever dream...
posted by nadawi at 10:29 AM on August 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


Man, every time I read something written by Roosh V I can't believe nobody has split that guy's head open yet.

I had a Michigan sex education, which I guess was technically "medically accurate" in that it did not contain any objectively false education, but that's largely because it contained almost no education at all. The only real information we got was about how awful the worst-case scenario of some STIs can be, as a way of attempting to scare us into abstinence. Fortunately, the internet existed by the time I was in middle school and we were all able to learn an awful lot despite the fact that the school (and most of our parents) had no interest in teaching us anything. We were lucky in that nobody stumbled across awful shit like Roosh V's nonsense while forming those early ideas about sexual culture.

In short, if you don't teach kids about important sexual stuff like partner consideration and the meaning of consent, they'll just learn about it somewhere else, and you will not have control over exactly what it is that they are exposed to.
posted by IAmUnaware at 10:43 AM on August 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, DON'T RAPE
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:55 AM on August 15, 2015 [16 favorites]


Obligatory mention of excellent UU Our Whole Lives sex-ed curriculum (which my kid will be going through). Living in Texas as we do, it's the only non-parental source we can really trust.
posted by emjaybee at 11:35 AM on August 15, 2015 [6 favorites]


IAmUnaware, the slime had a beer thrown on him(the woman who did it posted that he had grabbed her waist) and was chased out of a bar in Montreal recently.
posted by brujita at 12:02 PM on August 15, 2015


> And even the bible skips over the uncomfortable conundrum of Adam, Eve and the
> boys populating the earth.

Bible uncomfortable with inexplicable miracles. Film (of Jonah inside whale) at 11.
posted by jfuller at 12:03 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Obligatory mention of excellent UU Our Whole Lives sex-ed curriculum (which my kid will be going through). Living in Texas as we do, it's the only non-parental source we can really trust.

That looks a lot better than my parents' "faith-based" alternative to Texas sex ed, which involved opting me out of health class and giving me a copy of Dr. Dobson's Preparing for Adolescence.
posted by bradf at 12:09 PM on August 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Oh no, not Dobson. I'm so sorry, bradf.
posted by emjaybee at 12:19 PM on August 15, 2015


My church (UCC) also offers the OWL curriculum, which our children will be taking. I had already decided that if our school district chose to offer abstinence-based sex education -- which it looks like they are prohibited from doing, since we live in Washington, but that never stopped anyone -- I was going to object on religious grounds.
posted by KathrynT at 12:25 PM on August 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


OWL is a great program. Washington state has very good sex education, and my colleagues at OSPI are on top of things. Typically in Washington students will get some version of the FLASH curriculum.
posted by Stewriffic at 12:38 PM on August 15, 2015


Of course, "Puritanical" now means essentially Pro-Rape, and the American Christian Fundamentalists are so envious of how ISIS is handling the issue. (But I see no more than 5 years until we learn of members of a Big Church giving their young men heathen sex slaves)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:36 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


I want this to be required viewing for everyone on the planet, and a litmus test for elected officials. The bit about Elizabeth Smart from John Oliver's segment was nearly unbearable.
posted by Space Kitty at 2:35 PM on August 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


Relevant.
posted by Stewriffic at 3:23 PM on August 15, 2015 [6 favorites]


That was a nicely done segment, and was much better than the very small amount of sex ed in the schools I went to.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:56 PM on August 15, 2015


Not so fast, guys.There may be some advantages to the abstention plan.

Consider this:
Isaac Newton was a virgin,
Nicola Tesla was a virgin,
Jorge Luis Borges was a virgin.

And now think of how just these three contributed in ways that have enriched the world we now live in.

On the other hand, they're all dead.
posted by fredludd at 5:59 PM on August 15, 2015


I sat on a committee about updating sex ed in our district, and specifically addressing our highest-in-the-state STD infection rate, it was extremely interesting. (Although we're one of the good states with the accurate info, so that wasn't part of the battle.)

The committee had the director of public health, a state epidemiologist, several doctors who work with adolescents, several school nurses, an expert on LBGTQ issues in schools, six (sex-positive) pastors, six high school students, a couple infectious disease experts, teachers, sex educators, and a couple elected officials (like me) who were there so we could liaise with the school board and city to smooth public acceptance of the changes. It was hella interesting.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:34 PM on August 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


fredludd:
"Consider this:
Isaac Newton was a virgin,
Nicola Tesla was a virgin,
Jorge Luis Borges was a virgin.

And now think of how just these three contributed in ways that have enriched the world we now live in."

and it didn't even get them laid‽

yes i know that at minimum Tesla was going for it on purpose
posted by Gymnopedist at 10:28 PM on August 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Charles Pickering on not raping. Come for the commentary on Australia's (lack of) understanding of consent, stay for the caberet number by the Don't Rapettes and the No Means No Dancers.
posted by Thella at 11:00 PM on August 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


Charles Pickering

Hey, look, it's Australia's low-rent copy of Jon Stewart.

Come for the commentary on Australia's (lack of) understanding of consent,

Seems a lot is not-Australia.

stay for the caberet number by the Don't Rapettes and the No Means No Dancers.

You know, I thought you were joking.

But now I know what Angie Hart from Frente is up to.
posted by Mezentian at 11:22 PM on August 15, 2015


And even the bible skips over the uncomfortable conundrum of Adam, Eve and the boys populating the earth.
Actually, after the Cain-and-Able incident, it says Cain runs away to the land of Nod, and finds a wife there. While avoiding incest, this raises another huge question about the implication that other people existed besides Adam and Eve.

The Old Testament is full of all sorts of disgusting stuff, but evangelical Christians dismiss it all as being made irrelevant under the "New Covenant" of Jesus Christ and the New Testament, except for the bits that are still relevant because of, uh, reasons.

My sunday school lessons as a teen did actually make an effort to be sex positive, within, of course, the strict bounds of a loving marriage in the sight of God and the Church.
posted by other barry at 11:36 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am a terrible person. I know this because the part of the segment that made me squee was Jonathan Banks at the end. After that, I forgot the rest. So yes, terrible person.

More directly on topic, although Arkansas is now one of the moronic states that mandates abstinence-only sex ed, back when I was in school they started sex ed with a presentation, including film, in the 6th grade. Yes, they taught 11 year olds about their anatomy, masturbation, and the basic mechanics of sex. In one of the most regressive and Republican districts in the state, no less. Where 6th grade is in elementary school.

They never did cover issues of consent, though. Even contraception waited a couple of years for late middle school health class, where it was tossed in with STDs and fat shaming and basic CPR.

It never ceases to amaze me how we've managed to go backwards in the past 20 years and that education has been as much or more of a victim than basic infrastructure like roads and bridges or political discourse. Maybe it's rose colored glasses talking, but I don't remember even Rush Limbaugh being quite as much of an ass nugget as he was by the middle 90s. I remember his rage being much less spittle flecked and less personally insulting to his scapegoat of the week.

Funny how the forces of darkness have gotten both bolder and more whiny even as most of society has moved dramatically in their direction and given them most of what they asked for. Normal people would be grateful for people having been so accommodating.
posted by wierdo at 11:56 PM on August 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


I know this because the part of the segment that made me squee was Jonathan Banks at the end. After that, I forgot the rest. So yes, terrible person.

But Jonathan Banks was at the start of the show. Explaining about women and bowling.
(And, really, if you haven't seen the full show, do so.)

Banks is a treasure. I've not watched whatever show he was in recently which made him popular (Sons of Anarchy?), but he was pretty much the best thing (the Spandau Ballet best thing) about Community season 5, and I would LOVE to see him, Paget Brewster and Keith David in a show tootling around the US in a neat-up RV.
posted by Mezentian at 2:11 AM on August 16, 2015


Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, that was what he was in recently that made him popular. And rightly so.
posted by Grangousier at 2:44 AM on August 16, 2015


"Consider this:
Isaac Newton was a virgin,
Nicola Tesla was a virgin,
Jorge Luis Borges was a virgin.

And now think of how just these three contributed in ways that have enriched the world we now live in."


What is the average age mathematicians burn out? What is the average age that they get laid for the first time? They must be very close together.

I keed, I keed, if you tell kids they will turn into mathematicians if they don't get laid they will go out and get laid immediately, it is a bad plan
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 4:53 AM on August 16, 2015


Isaac Newton was a virgin
Jesus Christ and Tesla, too
Jorge Luis Borges was a virgin
Virgin, virgin, virgin, virgin, virgin, virgin, virgin

Outside sexual activity, they're waitin' for me.
Outside carnal intimacy, if you're looking,
that's where you'll find me.
posted by Ian A.T. at 1:16 PM on August 16, 2015


While avoiding incest, this raises another huge question about the implication that other people existed besides Adam and Eve.

Well of course there were. In addition to the land of Cain's in-laws, there were also the lands of Wynken and Blynken.
posted by eclectist at 4:36 PM on August 16, 2015


A non region locked version of the video
posted by Z303 at 9:03 PM on August 16, 2015


While avoiding incest, this raises another huge question about the implication that other people existed besides Adam and Eve.

Well, Steve was around there someplace.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 8:51 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I still have my abstinence til marriage card (ATM card...) I received after graduating sex ed as a teenager in high school. My sex ed basically boiled down to photos of STDs, how to use a condom, and a bunch of shit about how marriage is the best day of your life and oxytocin blah blah blah. I got sent out of the classroom for arguing with the Mormon woman they had come in to teach it. Then I had to pledge that I would abstain until marriage. I'll take a photo of the card and post it.
posted by gucci mane at 4:20 AM on August 18, 2015


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