The criminals' alphabet (UK edition)
August 15, 2015 11:19 AM   Subscribe

The criminals' alphabet (UK edition). You want some or what, Charlie Big Spuds?
posted by the quidnunc kid (15 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
OLD-FASHIONED STAFFORDSHIRE PLATE
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:35 AM on August 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


A bizarre list. All criminals are gorblimey cockneys who use outdated rhyming slang; yet they also use eighteenth century words, and obscure gypsy rituals? And they use this strange phrase 'you want some', which no-one ever uses in the rest of the world, apparently an invitation to violence, who knew?

Pony, as those cockerneys might say (pony and trap).
posted by Segundus at 12:55 PM on August 15, 2015


More about the author, Noel 'Razor' Smith. Having descended the scale of violent human degradation, he decided to go on and become a writer, and attracted the support of Will Self.

I don't think he remembers any prison slang, but you know, deadlines.
posted by Segundus at 1:15 PM on August 15, 2015


If you're reading this, Noel, my real name is 'Nigel Farage'.
posted by Segundus at 1:17 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


What an odd list - I'd be very interested in seeing up-to-date slang, and from across the UK, rather than a list of half-17th Century and half Cockerney Knees Up Guvnor Rhyming Slang.
posted by sarahdal at 2:16 PM on August 15, 2015


Crikey- it's the filth! We've been rumbled!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:21 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


What an odd list - I'd be very interested in seeing up-to-date slang, and from across the UK

Do you have a Blackberry?
posted by srboisvert at 2:52 PM on August 15, 2015


"Wright"
posted by clavdivs at 2:56 PM on August 15, 2015


For some reason, this reminds me of the Fast Show's cockneys, "We're hard as nails, but lovable and cheeky!"
posted by betweenthebars at 3:46 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think the Guardian bought this out the back of Del Boy's van.
posted by arcticseal at 9:33 PM on August 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Some of these are just...phrases. 'You want some' is definitely a thing; 'bilking' is pretty common though old fashioned; I've heard copsicle a lot; ekky was used in Essex, for sure; IC-whatever is just police shorthand so, yeah, that's a thing; Quack, ffs has been slang for doctors for centuries and is not bleedin' afrikaans, jeez.

Caveat: mummy was a probation officer in some hardcore London prisons so I may have heard more of this than normal kids. Also, I presume this is to cash in on the Krays movie, which means a sudden torrent of bullshit cockney gangster crap, which I can't stand. The glorification of selfish, murdering, unrepentant gits can at least wait until their victims are dead. (And yeah, my mum met them too; 'gentlemen crooks' my arse.)
posted by AFII at 1:35 AM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Jog on, mate
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:12 AM on August 16, 2015


"Do you fuckin' want some?" is still acceptable as a way to encourage another gentleman to vacate the pub forthwith and engage in fisticuffs.

Generally the sort of person who says it is really *secretly* hoping the answer isn't "Yes, very much so". Really scary, violent bastards don't ask to hit you, they just do. They don't need to wind themselves up to get over the civil impulse first, they just act.
posted by longbaugh at 2:04 PM on August 16, 2015


In the book Thief-Taker Hangings: How Daniel Defoe, Jonathan Wild, and Jack Sheppard Captivated London and Created the Celebrity Criminal there is an interesting little digression about the evolution of Theives' Cant, which aside from social marking was functional for the purpose of deniability of statements when under oath. It made sense to use an obscure vocabulary when hiring accomplices.
posted by ovvl at 6:21 AM on August 17, 2015




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